What Love Looks Like

Posted by Barbara | 2 comments

You’ve seen the movie: the music  swells in the background, the lights darken around the edges with one bright, piercing ray of sun shining in the center of the screen, while a perfectly manicured, make-upped and hair-dooed couple embrace, vowing that *this* is forever.

Or maybe you’ve seen this one:  the house is burning to the ground and the stunningly gorgeous, yet humble girl-next-door-type is trapped in the upper floor, having swooned gracefully and fallen in a semi-conscious state to the smoldering ground. With her, seemingly, last breath she calls out the name of the man whom she has, up to this point in the film, scorned, and who, unbeknownst to the citizens of this quaint little town, was a firefighter before he hit the bottle following the death of his first wife, and who, just now, as he realized he was about to lose this woman forever, found the courage to suit up again in the uniform of his former life, swearing off of the Devil’s elixir  forever, and climbed into the towering inferno and towards certain death just to see her one.more.time.  And as he reaches her in that semi-conscious state, he calls out her name too and lovingly cradles her perfect head in his sculpted arms, and as she flutters her eyes open one last time, she says, “You came back for me” to which he responds “I’ll never leave you again”;  then depending on what kind of ending you like in a movie they either die together there in the fire so that their love is never less perfect than it was in that moment, or they leap out of the window into the pillow-like field of forget-me-nots and live happily ever after.

*sigh*

Seriously?   Scenes like those, no matter how syrupy sweet and emotionally manipulative they are (in a sick and enjoyable kind of way), leave me saying, like the lead singer from the 80’s band Foreigner, “I want to know what love is. I want you to show me.”  Deep, I know.

So what does love look like? How many times has your husband rescued you out of a burning building? Or taken a bullet for you? Anyone? Anyone? No? Okay, I rest my case.

And how many of you wives make sure that every time your husband sees  you your hair is perfectly coiffed, your nails are perfectly polished, and there is no baby-puke on your left shoulder?  I feel your pain.

We are not living in the movies. This is not the latest Janette Oke book on film.  This is real life, with real time constraints, and real monetary limitations. We have school, and home, and work, and stress, and in-laws, and neighbors, and ministry all vying for our time and attention.

Then how are we to love?

Let me tell you what love looked like in my house today.  First, I gave my husband the last splash of cream in his coffee rendering mine black.  But you know what he did? He switched cups before I sat down and he drank the black one leaving the creamy goodness for me. Love.

Then, I washed 3 sink loads of dishes. Actually, that’s not true. I washed one, and prepared to wash the other two, but my girls took care of that chore for me so I could tend to naps and bedtimes for the babies. Love.

Then, I listened to my one daughter practice her flute while another daughter practiced trumpet (at the same time…and they are both beginners…whoa) and I didn’t grimace or make them stop once. And in fact I was able to honestly enjoy their progress and encourage them to keep going.  Love.

Then I spoke to a friend who needed a word of encouragement, but came away encouraged by her myself.  Love.

Other days it looks like playing trucks with my two year old instead of having that third cup of coffee and reading a chapter in that book everyone is talking about.

Or maybe making tacos (again) because it is my daughter’s favourite.

Or maybe *not* making Brussels sprouts because it is *not* my daughter’s favourite.

All of these things take sacrifice and humility and self-control. None of which we have apart from the Love of God poured out on our lives through Jesus Christ. The days when I am least loving to my crew are, not surprisingly, also the days I am least connected to Jesus.

What does love look like in your house?  If you haven’t read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you should. And if you have, you are well aware of all the different dialects that Love can take in your home.

Bottom line is this: “Greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13). Like I said, you likely won’t have a chance to take a bullet for anyone this week, but as my pastor said at my wedding there are a thousand little deaths you can choose to die every day for the sake of those you love.  How will you lay down your life today? For your kids? For your husband? For your neighbour? For the check-out girl at the grocery store?  For your pastor? For the stranger you pass on the street?  Once you start looking for ways to do it, you will be amazed at all the opportunities there are to love one another. Now to pray for the humility and compassion to go out and do it.  This could be a very, very good week!

If you are willing, please share your stories of how you have shown or received love this week. We’ll all benefit from each other’s testimony of God’s love in and through us.

Barbara Postma and her husband, as they homeschool their 7 children, are finding out that no two children are alike! Between lessons and lunches, Barbara blogs at Fuel by Barbara.