Did You Order a Sub?

Posted by Rhodema | 0 comments

“I feel like such a failure.” Sharon’s usual sparking eyes and bubbly personality were missing as we met for lunch. She slowly stirred her iced tea with her straw. “Josh is slipping further and further behind in the lesson plan book.”

My friend was tired. She recently buried her father and now cared for her mother following her mom’s surgery. In addition, she often checked on her widowed mother-in-law. Perhaps her weariness clouded her perspective.

I saw her interruptions in schoolwork differently.

“You aren’t failing in homeschooling. You are teaching about life–you are providing for your future,” I assured my friend.

“What?” Sharon’s eyes raised to mine.

I wanted my friend to see that her ten-year-old son was watching and learning as she cared for her parents. He could see that his mother valued his grandparents and took time for them. Instead of this season being an interruption, I wanted my friend to see it as an opportunity to teach real life to her son.
“What do you think he will remember when he is in your place, caring for you?”

Sharon is a member of a growing sector of society called the sandwich generation. This group of individuals is defined as: those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children. A whopping 25% of American families make up this group.

When homeschool moms are called upon to care for aging parents, it definitely puts a squeeze on time and energy. It can leave many moms wishing for a sub.
We teach our children; we care for our homes, and we handle the many interruptions that come into our lives. The reality is that as homeschool parents we can’t call a sub.

We can, however, let go of the guilt and see our roles and lives differently.

One of my favorite reasons to homeschool is the lifestyle. We don’t just copy the public school experience at home. We live it together. We read together, draw together
and sometimes my kids even answer each other’s quiz questions when I drill them in the car.

Disruptions, large and small, will come into our school schedules. There are practical things that we can do to help our kids stay on track during these seasons of real life.

• Keep the lesson plans up-to-date yet flexible. Your children can then see what they need to work on each day when you get sidetracked with an emergency phone call. Clearly mark which assignments your children can do on their own and which ones they need to have your help to complete. Train your children to stay on task, even when you get called away. Think of your plans as goals but give yourself grace to move items to the next day or week when the need arises.

• If you know a surgery or doctor appointment is on the calendar for a family member, shift your children’s coursework to include more reading and educational movies. Assign seat work that you know your children can complete on their own.

• Plan meals. Cook items to store in the freezer ahead of time. This will free up your time on days you have to be gone from home.

• Encourage older children to take leadership with the younger children. They can listen to readers, give spelling tests and drill math facts. It will benefit everyone.

• Trade out with other homeschool friends. When it is convenient, offer to host homeschool students for a game day or a walk at the nature preserve. When it comes time for you to be at the hospital for a day, ask another parent to take your children with their school books and clearly written lesson plans.

My children remember days when we hosted homeschooled children in our home for an entire day. These weren’t inconveniences but, instead, favorite memories. Days that my children spent in the homeschool of a trusted friend did not hurt my kids in the least. I am endeared to these special friends who offered to help and I am reminded to look for families I can help.

Are you torn between caring for parents while teaching your children? Share your tips on surviving the pressure. Have you found any blessings in this season? What are some of the ways other families have come along side and shared your burden?

Rhodema Cargill lives the parenting adventure with Calvin, her college sweetheart. They have two adult daughters and two teenagers still at home, a girl and a boy. Their homeschool style is eclectic with a great love of living history books. Rhodema is a freelance writer and speaker. Visit with her on her blog: MommyLife.