We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
- Kahlil Gibran
Experiencing JOY everyday. . . Is it really possible? Life is full of unexpected events, distractions, bad moods and illnesses. Can you honestly be joyous in the midst of these events, when things don’t go the way you think they should?The truth is that God’s grace is new each morning, and joy is ours for the taking, but so often we choose to focus on the negative. What takes away your joy and peace? In my research of this topic, I was blessed to hear from so many moms and the feedback has been amazing! While the fun ideas on how to enjoy your family have abounded, what I found to be the most interesting was the comments concerning what stole your family’s joy. They really boiled down to 8 main themes, the first three of which we will discuss today: Comparison, Busyness, Health, Media, Scheduling, Worry, Interruptions, and Housework. Do you see yourself in this list?
The habit of comparison is an old friend of mine. I believe it’s a trait all women are born with, and regardless if
you are a single woman, working mom or homeschooling mom, we all battle some form of this habit daily. From your comments, it appears that comparison shows no favorites – every aspect of life is up for scrutiny and evaluated against our perception of someone else. Whether it is that they have a bigger house or nicer “stuff,” or appear to be more organized, creative, fit, attractive, spiritual or intelligent! The list is endless, really. I loved how Wendy summed it up, “What takes away my joy and peace is when I compare myself to another mom. Her house is cleaner, more organized. Her homeschool plans are filled with baking, sewing projects, and arts n crafts galore, while I struggle to find the math book, pencils, and where in the world is my manual – I just had it!”
I would love to say that I have this one figured out and have words of wisdom in how to battle it, but the reality is t
hat I don’t. I do try to remind myself that you never know what someone’s bank account looks like, what is hiding behind those closet doors, what a normal day really looks like or what type of undergarments they are wearing to hold all that in! My friend Ami wrote on this topic and has much better advice, “The next time Ms. Mom Guilt comes sneaking around, trying to grab your joy (or all that's left of your sanity)...tell her that God gave you these children and you will not compare yourself to other moms, you will not be manipulated into doing something you don't need to be doing, and that YOU (by the grace of God) are quite capable of doing what's right for these little ones that you love with all your heart.”
Busyness is another habit I know all too well. It is so easy to get sucked into wanting to do all the great things you hear about from other moms, when in reality what you are attempting to do is combine five different families’ schedules into one! Yes, some activities are good, but too much not only results in chaos but it can also compete with the real reasons many of us chose to homeschool in the first place. The past few weeks, I have been obsessed with Cindy Rushton, the self proclaimed binder queen. I have been reading all of her articles with excitement and passion, as I believe she has figured out how to truly experience joy in her family and her homeschool. While reading her many articles, I have been taking notes, and this comment from Homeschooling the Easy Way is one that I wrote, highlighted and underlined, “We all want for our children to have ALL of the advantages that we can give them. However, somewhere we have to choose the very best! There are so many GOOD things. Those good things can battle against our focus so that we do not have time for the very BEST things! It just takes a little while before our routines are so overcrowded with truly great activities, but no real substance!”
The final joy sucker that we will examine today is health, be it physical, mental or spiritual. This can include not getting enough sleep, not making regular exercise a priority and not having a regular quiet time. I know th
at my day goes so much better when I go to sleep at a decent hour, wake up a little earlier, and start my day with a jog in the quiet morning hours, talking with my Heavenly Father. To be honest, I rarely do this, but it makes a huge difference!
Health can also get in our way of joy when someone has an unexpected illness. School is not much fun when you have a sneezing fit every five minutes or when your little one is throwing up on you for the third time that day! But God taught me something new about this just yesterday. I woke up Monday morning feeling absolutely horrible. I had a migraine that lasted from 7:30am until I went to bed at 9:30 that night. I couldn’t hold anything down, felt completely exhausted and miserable. This isn’t the first time this has happened – it seems I have these 24 hour bouts every six months, and each time God teaches me something new in the process. Last year, he taught me about busyness and how I needed to slow down and make my family more of a priority. This time, His lesson for me was that I can experience joy even in the midst of unexpected illness, if I take advantage of the unique opportunities it presents.
You see, I am the BIGGEST baby when I am sick. I am great at nursing others to health, and knowing what to
do, but when it is me who is sick, I whine…. I moan…. I lament, “Why?” Yes, I am a baby and I admit it. But yesterday, I can honestly say that in the middle of all that, I enjoyed my girls. We cuddled on the sofa, we took a hot bubble bath, we snuggled in Mommy’s bed and watched movies. During all of this, we talked and laughed. I think the difference this time was that I had the above quote in my head. I decided to choose my joy before experiencing it! I knew that as much as my husband wanted to come home early to help, he couldn’t, so it would be my sick self with my rambunctious two and three year olds. If I wanted to focus on all the things we weren’t getting done, my horribly messy house or my own ailments, then what I would experience is sorrow. I don’t want to live my life like that, and I don’t want my girls to suffer. No, I decided to choose joy and as a result, my girls and I had a really nice day of talking and snuggles and my oldest got to take care of Mommy for awhile. My spirit was ministered to and nourished, and my girls got 100% of my attention.
Yes, I now believe it is possible to experience joy everyday, but it is most definitely a choice that we make. Over the next few posts, we will continue to look at the things that compete with our joy on a daily basis. I would LOVE to hear from you, if you can relate to these concerns or have unique struggles of your own! Let’s combat these together and live in true victory and JOY!
The habit of comparison is an old friend of mine. I believe it’s a trait all women are born with, and regardless if
you are a single woman, working mom or homeschooling mom, we all battle some form of this habit daily. From your comments, it appears that comparison shows no favorites – every aspect of life is up for scrutiny and evaluated against our perception of someone else. Whether it is that they have a bigger house or nicer “stuff,” or appear to be more organized, creative, fit, attractive, spiritual or intelligent! The list is endless, really. I loved how Wendy summed it up, “What takes away my joy and peace is when I compare myself to another mom. Her house is cleaner, more organized. Her homeschool plans are filled with baking, sewing projects, and arts n crafts galore, while I struggle to find the math book, pencils, and where in the world is my manual – I just had it!”I would love to say that I have this one figured out and have words of wisdom in how to battle it, but the reality is t
hat I don’t. I do try to remind myself that you never know what someone’s bank account looks like, what is hiding behind those closet doors, what a normal day really looks like or what type of undergarments they are wearing to hold all that in! My friend Ami wrote on this topic and has much better advice, “The next time Ms. Mom Guilt comes sneaking around, trying to grab your joy (or all that's left of your sanity)...tell her that God gave you these children and you will not compare yourself to other moms, you will not be manipulated into doing something you don't need to be doing, and that YOU (by the grace of God) are quite capable of doing what's right for these little ones that you love with all your heart.”Busyness is another habit I know all too well. It is so easy to get sucked into wanting to do all the great things you hear about from other moms, when in reality what you are attempting to do is combine five different families’ schedules into one! Yes, some activities are good, but too much not only results in chaos but it can also compete with the real reasons many of us chose to homeschool in the first place. The past few weeks, I have been obsessed with Cindy Rushton, the self proclaimed binder queen. I have been reading all of her articles with excitement and passion, as I believe she has figured out how to truly experience joy in her family and her homeschool. While reading her many articles, I have been taking notes, and this comment from Homeschooling the Easy Way is one that I wrote, highlighted and underlined, “We all want for our children to have ALL of the advantages that we can give them. However, somewhere we have to choose the very best! There are so many GOOD things. Those good things can battle against our focus so that we do not have time for the very BEST things! It just takes a little while before our routines are so overcrowded with truly great activities, but no real substance!”
The final joy sucker that we will examine today is health, be it physical, mental or spiritual. This can include not getting enough sleep, not making regular exercise a priority and not having a regular quiet time. I know th
at my day goes so much better when I go to sleep at a decent hour, wake up a little earlier, and start my day with a jog in the quiet morning hours, talking with my Heavenly Father. To be honest, I rarely do this, but it makes a huge difference!Health can also get in our way of joy when someone has an unexpected illness. School is not much fun when you have a sneezing fit every five minutes or when your little one is throwing up on you for the third time that day! But God taught me something new about this just yesterday. I woke up Monday morning feeling absolutely horrible. I had a migraine that lasted from 7:30am until I went to bed at 9:30 that night. I couldn’t hold anything down, felt completely exhausted and miserable. This isn’t the first time this has happened – it seems I have these 24 hour bouts every six months, and each time God teaches me something new in the process. Last year, he taught me about busyness and how I needed to slow down and make my family more of a priority. This time, His lesson for me was that I can experience joy even in the midst of unexpected illness, if I take advantage of the unique opportunities it presents.
You see, I am the BIGGEST baby when I am sick. I am great at nursing others to health, and knowing what to
do, but when it is me who is sick, I whine…. I moan…. I lament, “Why?” Yes, I am a baby and I admit it. But yesterday, I can honestly say that in the middle of all that, I enjoyed my girls. We cuddled on the sofa, we took a hot bubble bath, we snuggled in Mommy’s bed and watched movies. During all of this, we talked and laughed. I think the difference this time was that I had the above quote in my head. I decided to choose my joy before experiencing it! I knew that as much as my husband wanted to come home early to help, he couldn’t, so it would be my sick self with my rambunctious two and three year olds. If I wanted to focus on all the things we weren’t getting done, my horribly messy house or my own ailments, then what I would experience is sorrow. I don’t want to live my life like that, and I don’t want my girls to suffer. No, I decided to choose joy and as a result, my girls and I had a really nice day of talking and snuggles and my oldest got to take care of Mommy for awhile. My spirit was ministered to and nourished, and my girls got 100% of my attention.Yes, I now believe it is possible to experience joy everyday, but it is most definitely a choice that we make. Over the next few posts, we will continue to look at the things that compete with our joy on a daily basis. I would LOVE to hear from you, if you can relate to these concerns or have unique struggles of your own! Let’s combat these together and live in true victory and JOY!
This is part two in the series: Experiencing Joy in the Ministry of Motherhood. To read the first post, click here.
4 comments:
Thank you for the encouraging article! I am planning and organizing myself for next year. I am almost done with my first year of homeschooling and one thing I have learned is to put God first. I need to be more Christ centered so that when sickness and life happens I know it is all from God.
Thank you and God Bless
Jessie mom of four...
I really needed to read this. Lately I've been feeling like I'm not confident enough to teach my boys at home with all their special needs. This was much needed today!
You get an "amen sistah" from me.
Thank you, lovely ladies, for commenting! I was still getting over my cold and was very anxious about posting this.. I was afraid it didn't make sense or didn't come out right.. I guess I was COMPARING myself to others and WORRYING too much lol.. Those joy suckers!
Jessie - Thank YOU for encouraging me! I love comments, it helps me to know that others are out there reading, and feeling the same things I am! Congratulations on your first year of homeschooling coming to a close, and may God bless your many years ahead!
Jasmine -- I am so glad you stopped by to read! Oh boy, do I know how you feel. That is the enemy working on you, girl. You are more than capable of teaching your boys! Who knows them and loves them like you, their own mama? Love, hugs, and prayers for your continued journey!
Melody -- Thank you!!! That comment really made me smile and made my day! Thank you for encouraging me :-)
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Love in Christ
Rachel
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