I am GUILTY! 
I have been found guilty of expecting too much and being unrealistic. Expecting...
Too much from my curriculum-- it's supposed to make our lessons easy! and quick! and perfect!
Too much from my morning cup of coffee-- it's supposed to give me the energy of a 5 year old boy that's hyped up on sugar... and give me the endurance of a marathon runner.
Too much from my husband-- he's supposed to read my mind and never have a bad day.
Too much from myself-- I'm supposed to always have it together, never lose my temper, wake up at the crack of dawn and have white-glove-clean baseboards (HA!).
To make things even worse, this also extends to my starry-eyed expectations of my children. I expect them to be cheerfully obedient 100% of the time. I expect their handwriting to be flowing and beautiful, even if they haven't finished the third grade yet. I expect them to never have a bad day. I expect them to be little adults that know that when glow-in-the-dark rubber dinosaurs are placed on a lightbulb to increase their glowability and it starts emitting black smoke, that it is NOT a good thing. Not very realistic expectations are they? Well, except that last one-- they've had enough life and science experience to know that black smoke leads to fire and that is not something we want in the living room!
Oddly enough, I also expect the gifts of one child to meld with the talents of another-- thereby giving me the PERFECT child! Bwahahaha! Talk about nutty. I've had almost 33 years to try to be perfect and haven't gotten even close yet... so how ridiculous is it to expect that from my 8 year old?!
Perfection is elusive. And impossible. And a lie. Sure we should all have GOALS, but expecting perfection? It just doesn't make sense. Of course nobody is perfect! We all know that already. And yet we still have this outlook in so many areas of our lives and especially in our homeschooling.
If your child is doing their best, how could you possible ask them to do more?! We are not to compare ourselves as homeschooling mothers (or our children as students) to others. Boy, would that zap all the joy out of me! We are, however, to try to live up to our POTENTIAL... not our unreasonable, Utopian vision of what should be!
Part of the JOY of homeschooling is that we can tailor our days and lessons to each individual child and to our own unique family. We are sure to fail if we set the bar too low or too high. As in all things there is a balance to be found-- and this balance is different for each family, mom and child.
So stop comparing and start helping your children strive to do not their sibling's best or their neighbor's best, but their very best!
So stop comparing and start helping your children strive to do not their sibling's best or their neighbor's best, but their very best!
10 comments:
Amen,girlfriend!
We are so twins separated at birth .... well, except that we look nothing alike and I am 5 years younger.... but we are so much alike! You continue to inspire and convict me. I am really big on "experiencing JOY in homeschool" but it doesn't mean I have arrived there totally lol. I do have expectations and while I knew I had them about my schedule and about the girls, I didn't totally realize my expectations of myself or my wonderful husband till this post... gee, thanks! :-)
Seriously, wonderful post! I am so glad that this exciting endeavor has introduced us and that I can now call you my friend and "sista!"
Love ya girl!
Perfect words... hit home with me for sure!!
God bless,
Sallie
Well Said! It is so easy to get bogged down in my own expectations that I leave little room for His grace to come through. Thanks for the reminder.
Bless you,
Dawn
Good article.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
Julie
Amen! Preach it girlfriend!
I loved your post as I do every single thing that spins off your finger tips! lol
I can so relate, been there done that and I still have to pull back the reins and have a reality check every so often because it is in my nature to have that "Gotta have it all together, all the time" mentality.
Love your heart!!!
Tiany
I'm guilty also. :) I find it easy to fall into the perfectionist mode and wonder why the kids have those tendencies too, when we should all be striving to do our best and live up to the potential that God has given us.
Your post brought tears to my eyes! I'm such a prisoner of my own expectations! It has ruined many a day for me and my family! Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one! Why do we always feel the need to compare when we are told everyday that we don't need to be perfect?! No matter how much I read, I need to constantly unwind myself from my tightly wound ideals!
Faith :)
Your post brought tears to my eyes! I'm such a prisoner of my own expectations! It has ruined many a day for me and my family! Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one! Why do we always feel the need to compare when we are told everyday that we don't need to be perfect?! No matter how much I read, I need to constantly unwind myself from my tightly wound ideals!
Faith :)
Great article Marsha! I do expect too much... I always want peace in my home and I should know by now I can not expect that with a 11, 9, 8, 3 1/2 and a 2 year old. Not to mention my adorable 36 year old! :) (hubby). God is good though and thankfully he doesn't expect us to be perfect.so I know I can't expect such high standards for my children who are still learning ... and supposed to be learning it mostly from me! Thankfully the Lord is always there to catch me when I fall (everyday!)
Thanks again. First time here at the magazine- it is great!
SchoolinRHome
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