Join the New Group - Parents by Example

What God is nudging us to “proclaim” is that we, the parents, are our children’s primary teachers. It is our biblical duty to “train them up in the way they should go” and that isn’t just for those of us who keep our kids home and teach them the educational basics.

It is the responsibility of all parents whether our children are in public, private, charter, co-op, or home schools. We are still their primary teacher; but many parents in this day and age have become lazy with that responsibility. That is why it must change now.

Parents should be excited about teaching kids to cook, plant a garden, read a story, and most importantly learn about our Lord and Savior. THAT is homeschooling. Every parent becomes a homeschooler the day their child is born. You teach them to coo and ga, how to sit up, how to walk, what to eat, how to dress, and so on.

Our mandate is given in Exodus 18:20. God wants us to teach our children His principles, His thoughts on family, His plan for our future. Those are His mandates that must be taught at home.

Will you join us in parenting by example?

The name of this group was inspired by a quote by Ann Voskamp: "Children are the seeds my days plant." We are not associated with nor promoting Gary Ezzo or his program by a similar name.

Join the new group moderated by Darlene Schacht, editor of Christian Women Online and Amy Grant Bayliss, co-editor of Heart of the Matter Online.

Sponsored by Art Bookbindery
Also, be sure to enter the awesome writing contest over at CWO!

Getting it From My Head into My Heart

Almost every homeschool blogger I know has one. You know, the posts about “A Real Day.” Apparently we all feel led at one point or another to make sure other moms know that life isn’t perfect, school doesn’t always get done, the laundry is usually piled on the sofa, and we occasionally sleep a little late. But then it is back to regular programming, that post gets buried with all the others, and moms are left reading about joyful, peaceful homeschool days reminiscent of The Waltons.

While we all know we shouldn’t compare ourselves and our homeschools to others, getting that head knowledge into our hearts can be the hard part. We end up always wondering if we are doing it right, if there is a better curriculum out there, if so-and-so’s children are better behaved or are reading better. The constant comparison, wondering, worrying and guilt we carry around with us can prevent us from experiencing the true JOY of this journey.

“We are all unique and bring something different to the homeschool table” . . . blah blah blah. It sounds great, but unless we truly believe it, it’s just a bunch of pretty words. I have written about this several times and have told it to myself even more, but really believing it is hard for me. Most recently I have been struggling with a daily schedule. Trying to find enough hours in the day to exercise and read devotionals, spend quality time with the girls learning and reading books, having the house not look like a tornado hit it for once, attempting to look somewhat decent when my husband comes home, and trying to get enough sleep so that I can wake up and do it all again has been very difficult. It seems as though I have two stages – the first is where everything is going like clockwork and getting done but I am constantly exhausted and feeling like I am playing beat the clock, or the second stage where none of it gets done, and I gain 15 pounds!

This second stage is where I have been stuck for the last six months. Even while finding my own groove in how we school, I have been trapped feeling like I had to have the same schedule everyone else does. I constantly beat myself up for not being able to get as much done each day as the others I read about. I would make a new schedule every week, trying different variations of the same "perfect" schedule – wake up early (way before everyone else in the house), exercise, start the dishes and laundry, fix my husband’s lunch, have my quiet time, fix a wonderful wholesome breakfast for the family, start school by 9:00am, make lunch, clean the house and have dinner ready when my husband comes home. This might be what your schedule looks like, and it might work for you, but this has not worked for me. For whatever reason, I am wired differently I guess.

But a new hope has been birthed in me, thanks to a post on the Five in a Row Message Boards!! When I shared about my struggles, someone mentioned that in her home, the morning was when the children had free play and she did housework, emails and blogging (I will add exercise here as well). After lunch is when they did school for 2-3 hours and then it was time for errands, more free play with the kids, dinner and bed. A REVELATION!!

• I can start school AFTER lunch?!?


• I can do what seems to come naturally to me -- catch up on computer time while waking up, use the burst of energy I get after to do what I dislike the most (cleaning the house) and save the highlight of my day (school time with the girls) for later?


• We can start school after lunch and when we are done, already have the house clean, exercise done and have the rest of the day for real free play?


• Can I really break the classic rule of school first in the morning?


• Is there really such a rule after all???

I have no idea if this new schedule will work for us or not, or if this will help anyone else out there, but I wanted to share one more myth that I have dispelled for myself. I hope this gives you the freedom to break some of the rules you have created in your own minds and propels you to a schedule that can truly bring JOY to your day and family!!!

If you have advice or insights you would like to share with us on how you schedule your day or if you have any other homeschool myths you’d like to dispel, please post your thoughts in the comment section. We'd love to hear from you!

We are giving away a copy of the life-changing book See, I Told Me So.

This compilation of 18 heart-warming stories answers the cry of anxious homeschoolers everywhere. Homeschool veterans from many walks of life share from their experiences: their challenges, their fears, their trials and triumphs. Each contributor, be it the graduated son or the mother who homeschooled him, offers the same assurance: "We could have stopped worrying years ago and you can stop worrying today."

To enter this giveaway, simply leave a comment.

Heart of the Matter Devotional Study

CURRICULUM, CLASSES and CHAOS, oh my!

Do you ever feel as if you'd like to connect with homeschool women in a bible study forum?

Would you like to participate in a devotional study with other homeschool moms, that would not interfere with your homeschool day?

Do you wish you could participate in a group devotional study but the daily demands just don't allow for it?

Would you like to participate in a bible study that would HELP you in your homeschool?

We are in the process of putting together such a group!

A forum where homeschool moms can come together in fellowship in the form of an online bible study. The demands of our lives are great, but we all know WHERE we need to begin, and that is in the Word.

Participation would not be overwhelming or unreasonably demanding. A weekly or bi~weekly post of questions or thoughts regarding the book that we are currently using. It would be a great way to participate in that "bible study" you've been "meaning" to do!

Come on, what do you think....You don't have to be a blogger to participate, (you can participate in the form of comments). It could be the opportunity you've been waiting for!!

Have I sold you yet???

The first book that we would like to study is Todd Wilson's Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe.

Hey Mom,

If you want a book that will change the way you homeschool, then this is the book for your group. I’ve asked the question to lots of homeschooling moms, “Do you think you’re doing a good job homeschooling your children?” So far I’ve not had one mom who believes she is. The truth is: you are all doing a great job, but you’ve fallen victim to the LIES HOMESCHOOLING MOMS BELIEVE.

That’s why we’ve included a group study guide at the end of each section in the book and why I believe that this would be a great resource for your homeschool group in the coming year.

~Todd Wilson

The cost of the book is only $4.99 (we need 20 or more moms to participate to receive this price) plus $3 for shipping. Please be advised that shipping outisde of the United States will be more than $3.00. Email us with your address so that we may calculate shipping for you. If this is something that you would be interested in participating in, please email us. You have until April 1st to sign up.
We'd LOVE to see you there!

Heart of the Matter Meme

Today, our meme will be based on what your thoughts are on the following quote:

"Clearly there is an appropriate kind of sheltering. When those who are opposed to homeschooling accuse me of sheltering my children, my reply is always, 'What are you going to accuse me of next, feeding and clothing them?" ~R.C. Sproul Jr

Post your thoughts on your blog and then please come back here and link directly to your Heart of the Matter Online meme post.

2 More Amazing Speakers

We have 2 more incredible speakers to add to our line-up. Please welcome:

Linda Lacour Hobar, the author of the immensely popular Mystery of History. With 13 years of homeschooling three children, 17 years of ministry with Campus Crusade for Christ, and a sense of God's calling on her life, Linda brings enthusiasm, experience, inspiration, and some fun to the pages of history.

Heather Paulsen, author of Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart, is committed to encouraging Christian singles to pursue emotional purity, and she enjoys mentoring and counseling young women. In 2003 she married her husband, John, and looks forward to homeschooling their two young children. Heather can also be found at her blog, also titled Emotional Purity.

* * * * * * * * *

To pre-register, please click on this link (payment not required now). You will be directed to a simple form (see below) hosted by Google. It is important that you pre-register so that we can plan accordingly.

If you are a business and would like to have a virtual vendor's booth then please email us at: homeschoolinghearts@gmail.com for further information.

<a href="http://heartofthematteronline.com/2008/03/heart-of-matter-onlines-1st-annual.html"><img src="http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj249/homeschoolinghearts/Misc/htomvc.png" /></a>
Spread the word!!

Home Education Week

Next Week, March 30 - April 5, I will be hosting Home Education Week on my blog Principled Discovery.

My desire is to bring the deserved appreciation to homeschooling, and would like to give all of you the opportunity to participate in Home Education Week.

Modeled after both that most popular of holidays honoring America’s favorite sandwich and Randi’s Back to Homeschool Week at the beginning of the school year, I have put together a few writing prompts so that each day of Home Education Week, we can share different aspects of this adventure we have all embarked upon. I will also share a real world activity each day to celebrate home education with your family should you feel so inclined.

And the topics:

Please consider the following as writing prompts, not assignments. The ideas I list aren’t meant to restrict the topic in any way, but only to offer a starting point. Feel free to participate in as many or as few of the prompts as you like! I’ll have a Mr. Linky thing set up with each of the posts to make it easier for everyone who chooses to participate to share their posts. Also, since I can easily write most of these posts ahead of time, I will likely set them to publish the night before around 9PM central time.

Looking Back Sunday, March 30

Share your personal history…before you were a home educator. What was life like? Think about things you miss and things you and your family have gained.

Profiling Home Educators Monday, March 31

Describe yourself, your family or one of your children. What is it like to be home educated in your family? What is “normal” for you?

April Fool’s! Tuesday, April 1

And we have likely all felt the fool in one way or another. Share your greatest challenge. Or one of those terrible, horrible no good, very bad days where the only thing there is to do seems to involve moving to Australia.

Recipe for Success Wednesday, April 2

It is also National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day! So share a recipe…figuratively, as in two parts love, one part creativity, or literally, as in a super quick, nutritious meal your kids scarf up. Think about what you do in the day, what helps keep it organized and you sane (or how you got past that need for organization and saneness!), and curriculum materials you find effective.

Show and Tell Thursday, April 3

Show off those talents. Share a story, a special moment, a piece of artwork. Any accomplishment, great or small, is fair game.

In Their Own Words Friday, April 4

Share your children’s home education experience in their own words. What have they said about their education? What are their likes and dislikes? Share some stories, some quotes, or turn your blog over to your children for the day.

Looking Forward Saturday, April 5

What are your goals for home education? What do you hope to instill in your children? Are you planning any changes to how you educate your children?

One potato, two potatoes.....nine potatoes

We have a seasonal neighbor who recently stopped over after checking his place a few houses down from us. He had made the long trip on a sunny sky day to see how his house had wintered so far. As he was leaving, he remembered that he had something in the back of his truck for our family as a thank you for keeping an eye on his place. We've often been blessed by vegetables in the summer through early fall by this neighbor as he lives and works in a farming community. This day was no exception. Two fifty pound bags of potatoes needed to find a place in our pantry!

As I was pulling potatoes out of the bag on Easter Sunday to make a big batch of mashed potatoes, I laughed out loud! What an extreme variety of sizes and shapes in the bag. Huge potatoes, tiny potatoes, misshapen potatoes, green tinged potatoes, bumpy potatoes. And even some normal potatoes, however I found that was an illusion because after peeling and cutting them, there were bad spots in the middle. Blech! All the potatoes had come from the same farm, but each one was very individualistic.

Hey, those potatoes resembled my family! Nine children all from the same family but what a variety coming from the same parents. As I've applied each child's unique characteristics to homeschooling, it's been an engaging challenge to come up with methods to encourage their learning. Four lefties, five right handed. Most love reading, but one hates reading. Some get math at every level; some give me a blank look when figuring out simple algebraic equations. A couple LOVE workbook style learning, some prefer hands-on, some shout "read to me!". Some are in the upper grades while others are just learning the alphabet. A few look like normal schoolers on the outside, but have some rotten character traits on the inside that need work. As an ancient homeschooling mom, one book that helped me at the beginning of our homeschool journey was "In Their Own Way" by Thomas Armstrong. I'm certain that now there are many books available that would cover the different learning styles of children.

So, now you're thinking that this wonderfully tuned-in mom created an individual curriculum for each of her children, right? Wrong! When we began homeschooling we had three children and now have nine. Can you say interruptions of baby magnitude? And in more recent years our parents developed health issues that required our time. Throw in my husband's growing business and soon the time limitations to effectively individualize each child's schooling plagued me. Instead, through the years, I used a structured and well organized curriculum which worked well for me to oversee and which I could easily tweak a bit for each student according to their learning styles supplementing when needed.

Although our schooling curriculum changed a bit as needed for each student, the constant through all the years for my children has been our daily devotional time as we begin schooling each morning. The reading of one chapter of the Old Testament and one chapter of the New Testament has been a steady part of our devotional time as well as the other materials we've used in addition to Scripture. The other day when one of the children was reading from the Bible, I realized that those big long strange names of people or places don't cause them to hesitate a bit. They just say the names as normal as can be and their reading continues smoothly. A wonderful reminder of what an incredible piece of literature the Bible is for everyone and packed with God's truth!

"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord."
~ Psalm 34:11

Within the same family with the same parents, each child of mine - whether the first or the ninth or one in between - has received the firm foundation of God's Word on a daily basis. I am trusting God to tweak their hearts according to His Truth while He supplements where is needed to bring forth a distinctly gifted individual who will love and serve the Lord all of their days. And isn't that really the heart of the matter?

Too Much of the Wrong Kind of Socialization

It's funny but as a homeschooling mom I ofter hear the question,

"Aren't you concerned that your kids won't grow to be sociable?"

Gee Whiz. I guess they will miss out on developing many social skills since they aren't enrolled in public school. After all, a couple years ago when they were enrolled in public school they often came home to tell me all about the socializing that occurred during the day.

Like the time my second grader came home and asked me why people were calling him gay because he had on a GAP jacket. Apparently they forgot to inform me at the checkout that GAP stood for Gay And Proud. Now first of all, to tease a child is downright wrong. Second, to tease in a way that also degrades a characteristic of another human being is wrong. I teach my children to love people no matter what. No one is perfect and no one fits into any mold. We are all different. I may not approve of homosexuality but it is not for me to judge them but to love them. Besides, I can assure you that others can find something about me that they do not like.

Then there was the time my then kindergartner was subjected to a showing of private parts in the little boys room. He says "(insert child's name here) wanted me and my friends to show ours too." It took weeks to bring him back to the frame of mind that those private parts are well, just that - PRIVATE!

Or let's consider the social skills my oldest son was subjected to. He has a form of dwarfism called Cartilage-Hair Hypoplasia so his new nickname became Mini Me the midget. I was beyond furious that this was allowed to go on. I went to the school and asked if I could speak to the classes and share with them about my son's condition. I wanted to tell them that just because he has no hair and is smaller and maybe looks like this guy on a movie doesn't mean that is who he is. He is ten years old even though he is smaller than others his age. I also wanted to let them know that the term "midget" is inappropriate and degrading and that if they must refer to his condition to just call him a little person. I was told by the school that this wasn't a good idea since it might bring more attention to the situation. Are you kidding me? Since when is educating and encouraging positive behavior wrong? And isn't this is the same schools that teach about pre-marital sex and hand out condoms? Won't that draw more attention to sex?

I could go on.... learning about smokin' vipe, hookin' up, springin' bling, wanting tattoos at 7, fist fights, singing very inappropriate songs that they heard from the bus driver.... STOP! I can't take it! I'm thrilled that my children no longer have to be subjected to this type of socialization. Do I think everyone should take their child out of public school? Of course not. We all have our own opinion and our own way. Some people can't homeschool because they work, others simply choose not to homeschool and that is fine. It is up to us as parents to choose what is best for our children. (keyword: our) I choose to have my children socialize in an environment that I have some control over. Such as; baseball, football, youth group, summer camp, home school PE, sleepovers, basketball, art class, yada yada yada. They socialize well. No concerns here.

Now, if someone could help me off of my soapbox I'd be much obliged.....

So, how do you respond to this question?

Lettin' 'Em Be

Even though I have no specific lesson plans or set of curriculum that I live by, I did, at one time have at least an idea of what school time would look like in our house. I love a list. I love a plan. I love being prepared. If the truth be told, I love things my way. And that's just how I thought raising kids and homeschooling would and definitely should be. And, by all means, shame on you, if your children dictate your lifestyle or your teaching plan.

Yeah, and then life happened.

And try as I might to make it work just the way I had pictured in my head it kept blowin' up in my face. When I planned my school day to the tiniest detail and had all of my lessons laid out in advance, lo and behold there were one too many fits to stick to the list. They would ask too many questions during our read-aloud time to keep to my time schedule. They hate coloring, is that even possible? They detest worksheets and "class time." They like looking inside of a turkey and watching a pumpkin rot.

This is all okay as long as you believe up front in delight-driven learning. But I didn't. I believed in them obeying. "You know the letter sounds, just put them together." "You will write this memory verse." "You will go through this reading program if it kills us both." I got angry. And more determined. One night, after I recounted another horrific school day with a "how dare he?" tone to my voice, I remember my husband gently asking, "Do you think he can do the work or do you really think he's being that stubborn?" "Well, of course, he can do it," I quipped, "I've seen him do it before." But it stung a little bit. And it stayed with me. This was just one sign in a long list that I chose to ignore.

Slowly, it began to dawn on me that maybe there was a better way to teach my child. Maybe I could see what he likes and go with it. Maybe I could quit forcing handwriting and accept that it will come in time. In his time. Maybe I could stop the obsession with the reading chart and just let him be. Maybe I could stop every.single.time they have a question during our read-aloud and see where it takes us. Maybe I could accept that this child is not created just like me. Maybe I could let go of my own stubbornness long enough to evaluate just why it is that I'm homeschooling. Maybe the key word was acceptance.

Isn't that what I ultimately want? Acceptance? From my Creator? From my friends? From my own parents? Isn't that what I've always longed for? To just be loved and accepted for the quirky stubborn person that I am? Isn't that what intrigued me about and ultimately drew me to Jesus? Is there a chance that He wants me to learn this lesson? Maybe it's my turn to draw my child to me and just love him. For who he is. For exactly how God made him.

Maybe it's time to let go of all my well-laid plans. Maybe it's time to not be the hard-nosed teacher. Maybe it's time to be the encourager, the cheerleader, the mama.

Maybe it's time to become the student. To learn from the Teacher. To love. And accept.

What about you? Tell me about a time your children taught YOU a lesson...

Gardening with your peeps

Do you have a green thumb? Do you love to garden? I love to garden, but lack the green thumb!

This season, the girls and I are going to get some gardening done around our home. We have lived in this home for almost 2 years this July. The only thing we really have planted outside is our lawn.

You might be wondering what has sparked this interest for our family. It was Barb's green hour challenges that started it! It was Barb's Week 4 challenge that encouraged us to pick an area of focus. The focus for our family is garden flowers and vegetables.

So, last week, RyLee and I began some starts for our flower and vegetable garden. RyLee was motivated and enjoyed setting everything up. We bought 2 Jiffy greenhouse containers. They hold up to 72 starts each. One was for vegetables and one was for Flowers.

After the little discs puffed up RyLee then planted our seeds. They are now on my bedroom floor, behind a curtain and in front of our sliding glass door for light.



We are using a great book called Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew. I am reading some of this aloud to RyLee as we learn about gardening, and we have been making plans on where to put our boxes to garden in. We have 2 4x4 boxes now, and my husband is making us 2 more.

We have carrots, 2 kinds of lettuce, bib and romaine, tomatoes, peppers (mixed red, green and yellow) and an assortment of flowers. We bought strawberry bulbs and Dahlia bulbs too!

We look forward to sharing more of our gardening adventure with you as the season moves along. Don't forget...next month Lori will have a garden unit study up! Look for it in April!

Featured Homeschooler: Darcy

Please allow me to introduce this week's Featured Homeschooler: Darcy of Life With My 3 Boybarians.

1. Tell us about your boys and why you gave them those adorable nicknames?

I have 3 boys, known in cyberspace as The Boybarians. When I started blogging over at Blogger about a year ago, I wanted to try and protect their identities. I also didn't want to disqualify them from some major college application or job promotion down the line simply because they frequently wear underwear on their heads, swing light sabers, miss the toilet, and other such boybaric antics.

I chose their names based on their interests. My oldest I call Einstein because he loves math. Picasso is next; give the boy a stack of clean white paper and a set of sharp, new crayons and the boy is content for hours. Trouble earned his moniker in utero. I kept saying, "... this baby is Trouble with a capitol T!" and the name sort of stuck.


2. Now tell us about Handy Man.

Oh he's going to like this part of the interview. Handy Man is my beloved hubby who was made to be a boybarian daddy. He is like a big grown up boy. He is a workaholic who is happiest in clothes he bought in 1992, working with his hands, and creating and building projects for home. He is the world's worst singer and dancer, but the world's best husband and father.

3. What is your favorite aspect of homeschooling?

Easy! The schedule. Oh, and the freedom. Can't forget the cuddles during read-alouds. The closeness of family. Oh, and the ability to keep Trouble safe from germs. Hmmm... I guess it's not so easy to pick a single favorite thing. Do I have to pick just one? Okay, I pick "individualized".

4. What led to your decision to homeschool?

In 2003, Trouble was born at 28 weeks gestation weighing 36 ounces. He spent months in a NICU and over 3 years on oxygen; he is an absolute miracle of a child. He has overcome so much, but his premature birth forced us to completely reprioritize life.

First and foremost, the health and happiness of my family. We realized we couldn't keep Trouble safe if his brothers were bringing home infections from school. Unlike most kids, a "simple cold" sent Trouble back to the hospital. We needed to bubble ourselves from germy daycares, schools, malls, churches, museums etc. for many years to allow Trouble a fighting chance to grow into a strong, healthy boybarian. What started as just a way to keep our baby boy safe has grown into so much more for us. We absolutely love homeschooling.

5. You have such a big heart for premature babies. Tell us more about your work with the March of Dimes and the NICU babies.

We very nearly lost Trouble in the NICU. There were some very critical moments in which things were not looking good for our beloved son. My heart ached with an ache I have never before felt and never since felt. As terrifying as it was for me and Handy Man, we watched many parents leave the NICU empty handed.

Knowing how we felt, even though ours was a survivor, and seeing so much grief and loss of innocent lives changed me in ways I couldn't begin to describe. I then learned that the March of Dimes gives millions of dollars each year to research to save lives of babies like Trouble. Then I learned that the March of Dimes was responsible for funding the research that led to Surfactant and Nitric Oxide. Those two things were the difference between life and death for Trouble. I vowed then and there I would try to do anything I could to make things easier for families like ours and babies like Trouble. How do you say 'thank you' for the life of a child?

In 2007, after volunteering for the organization for 4 years, I was offered a job in NICU Family Support. I am the moderator for an online community that offers a warm place for NICU families to visit. We support families of premature babies, babies born with a birth defect, high risk pregnancies, and pregnancy and infant loss. It's really a beautiful community for people who are at their most fragile.

6. How did you get started in the blog design business?

Gracious, I have no idea how it grew into this. For two years, I blogged somewhere that doesn't have customized templates. But in March 2007, I started "Life With My 3 Boybarians" at Blogger. I wasn't happy with the templates. I spent years in a Catholic school uniform looking like everyone else so we could focus on 'our insides'. Blogger felt like wearing my old school uniform again. I wanted my own look and I felt pretty good about my insides already! ;) I kept playing and playing, tweaking and learning, screwing up (a lot!), until I started to understand words like margins, padding, img src, and how to tweak them. I have an affinity for languages, and learning the coding is not very unlike learning a new language. Now I encourage everyone to break out of their 'school uniforms' and make a space that reflects them. Blogging is a hobby, and for many homeschool bloggers, a lifeline. It should feel fun! So I started offering my skills to others.

7. You have an obsession with peanut butter right? What is your favorite way to eat it?

It's the simple joys in life, isn't it? I could eat PB Loco from a spoon, but the very best way is to make it like a grilled cheese. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, coat the outsides generously with butter, and grill. It's not lunch, it's desert!


8. You and Handy Man used to make weekly video homeschooling reports. That was a very creative idea. Can you share your favorite video with us?

It was so much fun! I'm a visual person, so I loved the idea of a video for a Weekly Report. I really like looking back at them, seeing what we've done and how far we've come. They were very time consuming, and so we don't do them often anymore. My favorite one can be found here: