The verdict is in...

I am GUILTY!

I have been found guilty of expecting too much and being unrealistic. Expecting...

Too much from my curriculum-- it's supposed to make our lessons easy! and quick! and perfect!

Too much from my morning cup of coffee-- it's supposed to give me the energy of a 5 year old boy that's hyped up on sugar... and give me the endurance of a marathon runner.

Too much from my husband-- he's supposed to read my mind and never have a bad day.

Too much from myself-- I'm supposed to always have it together, never lose my temper, wake up at the crack of dawn and have white-glove-clean baseboards (HA!).

To make things even worse, this also extends to my starry-eyed expectations of my children. I expect them to be cheerfully obedient 100% of the time. I expect their handwriting to be flowing and beautiful, even if they haven't finished the third grade yet. I expect them to never have a bad day. I expect them to be little adults that know that when glow-in-the-dark rubber dinosaurs are placed on a lightbulb to increase their glowability and it starts emitting black smoke, that it is NOT a good thing. Not very realistic expectations are they? Well, except that last one-- they've had enough life and science experience to know that black smoke leads to fire and that is not something we want in the living room!

Oddly enough, I also expect the gifts of one child to meld with the talents of another-- thereby giving me the PERFECT child! Bwahahaha! Talk about nutty. I've had almost 33 years to try to be perfect and haven't gotten even close yet... so how ridiculous is it to expect that from my 8 year old?!

Perfection is elusive. And impossible. And a lie. Sure we should all have GOALS, but expecting perfection? It just doesn't make sense. Of course nobody is perfect! We all know that already. And yet we still have this outlook in so many areas of our lives and especially in our homeschooling.

If your child is doing their best, how could you possible ask them to do more?! We are not to compare ourselves as homeschooling mothers (or our children as students) to others. Boy, would that zap all the joy out of me! We are, however, to try to live up to our POTENTIAL... not our unreasonable, Utopian vision of what should be!

Part of the JOY of homeschooling is that we can tailor our days and lessons to each individual child and to our own unique family. We are sure to fail if we set the bar too low or too high. As in all things there is a balance to be found-- and this balance is different for each family, mom and child.

So stop comparing and start helping your children strive to do not their sibling's best or their neighbor's best, but their very best!

May Unit Study: Space

Welcome Spacey Friends!
Wait! I didn’t mean that Heart of the Matter readers are “spacey” – it’s just that it’s time for our May unit study article and our topic is SPACE! We’d love it if you would send us, through CYBER SPACE (email!), any BRIGHT ideas (books, activities etc.) you have before we COUNT DOWN and LAUNCH the article on May 1st.

Send us your ideas!

The Things Your Child Taught You During Homeschool Meme

Welcome to the Heart of the Matter Online meme. Every Friday we will feature a different topic for our meme. Mr. Linky is set up below so please share with us The Things Your Child Taught You During Homeschool.

Please link directly to your "The Things Your Child Taught You During Homeschool" post. Failure to leave a direct link will result in the removal of your name from Mr. Linky.

The schedule for the theme of the homeschool meme is located in the right column under "Blog With Us". Please check it out to view upcoming themes.

**Devotional Study Start Date & CONTEST**

Ladies,
The books have been sent out and we have heard back from so many of you expressing your excitement! Here is what some of you have said:

"I received my book in the mail yesterday. Yay! I LOVE Todd Wilson's cartoons! He is dead-on!" ~Dana

"I received my book yesterday, and already I can't put it down. It's going to be so hard to read one chapter at a time!" ~Faith

"I was so excited to see my book in the mail this week! I'm very excited to start this study with all of you wonderful ladies!!" ~Candace

“I am very excited to get started :)” ~Christy

“My book arrived today and I can't wait to start!” ~Teresa

"I received my book and can’t wait to start reading it!!” ~Lisa

As many of you know, I'll be leading the study and in true "Lori" form, I have read the last page and I can assure you, this is going to be GREAT!!

If you have not received your book by the end of next week, please let us know. We are looking to begin on Saturday, May 3rd. Mark your calendars in INK! Come on over to share your thoughts on chapter one. If you would like to blog about your thoughts, please do. Otherwise we are really looking forward to the exciting conversations that we may have with each in our comment section.

I'm so excited to see so many familiar names on the book study list as well as some ladies that I am excited to meet and share with! This is a new endeavor for all of us, an opportunity to grow and share with women who are quite frankly, "in the same BOAT you are!" You will love Todd's humor and honesty in this book!

I look forward to kicking this "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" Devotional Study with you in a big way!!

Now for the CONTEST!

We would love to bless two special moms who were not able to purchase a copy of the book. We have two copies of "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" to give away. To enter this contest you will have to go on an "imaginary shopping spree." We would like to know...if you had $50 to spend at Treasure Box Press, what would you buy? Click on the link to their catalog and tell us, in the comments below, what your kids would love.

The Math Wars

Why is it that people continually try to fit a square peg into a round hole? Why is it that instead of finding a different shaped hole, the focus seems to be on changing the peg?

Children are uniquely different. We know enough about learning styles to appreciate the very fact that every child/person has a particular bent on how they learn. We also know that developmentally speaking, children of various ages are able to comprehend concrete and abstract concepts at different rates. Why is it then, that there are folks out there who continually put the cart before the horse?

Children grasp concrete math facts before they are able to grasp abstract mathematical concepts. Much in the same way that children learn how the letters of the alphabet sound before they are able to blend the sounds together in order to learn how to read. We wouldn't ask a child to try to read without giving them the skills they need to first sound out the letters. Why is it then that math programs ask children to grasp concepts like carrying and borrowing in multiple digit adding and subtracting, before first teaching them the concept of place value - concretely?

I have seen frustrated parent after frustrated parent have to turn back the clock and take their child back to basic math concepts because these very steps, and many others, were simply left out. We find this not only in classrooms, but in our own homeschool curriculum. Careful stock must be taken on the methods chosen within a math curriculum - much the same as the methods chosen within a learn to read program. Combine that with your child's learning style, and you may begin to grasp how careful consideration is necessary when choosing math curriculum.


The best program I have seen and used for teaching these early foundational concepts in a concrete manner that kids grasp and understand is Math-U-See. If you find yourself having to go back to basics with your child's math, then I encourage you to check out this program. I have used this program for the first four years with both my daughters and I can testify that it works. Understanding that 62 is really six tens and two units (and not the numbers 6 & 2) is instrumental when it comes to calculating 62 - 39.

There is much more to speak to concerning the topic of this post, but I'll save that for another day. In the interim, if you are considering attending an upcoming homeschool conference in your area, and you have a child who is struggling in math, then I urge you to check out this program - it may just be an answer to your prayers.

Unit Studies – Poison or Possibility?

One of the first things parents explore when they start down the road to the home education adventure is to learn what’s out there. They want to know about field trips, curriculum, resources, AND teaching methods. Folks tell them, “Well, there’s the Textbook approach…the Charlotte Mason approach, the Classical approach…and there’s the (eh hem – clears their throat), UNIT STUDY approach. You probably don’t want to go that direction because you have to be the creative type, spend lots of time on planning, AND have lots of energy for doing crafts and making costumes!”

Unit Studies have been given a bad reputation. There are many misconceptions surrounding this method. So I pose the question: “Are Unit Studies poison…something to be avoided? Or, are they filled with possibilities…something that can bring endless educational rewards including: family unity, provide a superior education, engage children’s interest through interactive teaching, and develop a true love for learning and books!

We started homeschooling our eight children 23 years ago. Back “then” the textbook approach was pretty much all there was so that’s what we used, but within a few years I was ready to give up. I had a huge stack of teacher binders for EVERY subject for each of my 3 school age children. I could not overcome the guilt of never being able to finish anything and my children were bored and were not retaining much of what we covered – a disappointment considering how much time I was devoting to the little darlings!

I decided to do a Unit Study on trains. I grabbed some books and started reading to them. I didn’t really know what I was doing but I understood that a unit study was where you would choose a topic and try to accomplish your school subjects through and around it. It was amazing! Each day they would say “When are we starting? What are we doing next?” - words I hadn’t heard before! From that day to the present, we have done unit studies as our core of teaching because I knew, by their responses, that I could not go back into bondage.

Since then, I have been perfecting the method and finding ways to lead parents in the endless possibilities for teaching interactively using living books and notebooks. I like to remind parents by saying “There are no rules” – just guidelines! It’s really about the books so if you can read…you can teach!

One of we parents do repeatedly is to approach education from a fear base. How do I know? Because parents often say of unit studies, “I’m just afraid…” they are afraid they will miss something important, they fear their child will not be academic enough to attend college (sometimes worrying over these things when their oldest child is 3!), they fear they will not be able to teach certain subjects.

Possibilities abound!

First, you are not God so you WILL miss something important. I went to public school and missed something important – it was called an education! Do your responsible best with teaching but remember if you’re teaching to the test and trying to check off all the boxes and fill in all the blanks, if it is not interesting and engaging, your child will not love learning and it will NOT stick. Just because the textbook contains ALL the information, does not mean your child will learn it. I love the story Diana Waring tells about how homeschoolers approach teaching as if there were a mountain of information and we parents have X number of years to try to shovel as much information in as we can!

Second, relax. We tend to stick with what is conventional and accepted and prepared for us because it makes us feel secure but it may not be necessarily what is best. I think we all desire to develop a true love for learning, but we aren’t willing to do what it takes. We must stop feeling so pressured to get all these subjects done and instead enjoy reading aloud with our children as a priority. Many of your “subjects” can be integrated into your topic of study and accomplished much more naturally. Devoting a daily read aloud time is such a beneficial and educational highlight in our school day. This is where meaningful discussion takes place and springs from. When Dad sits down to the dinner table, all the kids are sharing some part of what they learned and the others are interested too because they have learned the same thing. The more times you discuss something, the more it is reinforced!

Third, just think of what you could do with some extra time! Unit studies allow you to teach most all your varied age students the same thing and the outpouring of their assignments and subjects will be accomplished at each child’s skill and ability level. Plan one lesson, teach one lesson, read to a whole group at once…so much time can be saved and the learning possibilities are endless because when all the children are learning the same content, further discussion only adds to the learning.

The proof is in the pudding and the pudding is your children! Try it and see how your children come to life and their eyes will sparkle with interest. You’ll be amazed!

Contest Winners

Congratulations to Merry, who blogs at Merry Symphony, the winner of Roots, Shoots, Buckets, and Boots: Gardening with Children.

Congratulations to Jasmine, the winner of the Homestead Original candle.

Thank you so much to everyone who has participating in our contests. We have lots more to come!

Field Trip Tuesday: Houston Ship Channel Tour

Time to set sail on the spring winds! Today we remember a ship-channel tour my children took many years ago that was phenomenal! Be sure to bring a jacket - it might get chilly in the breeze as you tootle along in the wake of the big liners....

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Sprittibee's Houston Ship Channel Tour
Originally posted May 05, 2006

The Houston Ship Channel (Port of Houston) is one of the busiest ports in the world. We took our field trip to the ship channel while we were studying about sunken ships. An added bonus to this field trip is the fact that it is FREE. It was fun to see all the ships and flags along the channel. The kids really enjoyed being on the boat. It was hard to get Kaden to leave the back seat near the sound of the rushing water. I would suggest taking a country flag chart if you go so that you can figure out where each cargo ship is from. We went on a overcast day, and it was in the fall (and from what I hear, it is better in cooler weather). I was a little cold with the moist air blowing by, so take a sweater - even if you don't think you'll need it (unless you go in the heat of summer, of course). The trip down the channel and back takes about 90-minutes and is a relaxing ride. While the sights may not be the prettiest of Texas landscape along the tour, there are a great many interesting things to see (such as cargo ships, military vessels like the one pictured below, seagulls, refineries, and tug boats).

I think it is really super that the Port of Houston Authority gives free tours. In a day and age when hardly ANYTHING is free anymore, this is a refreshing service they offer! They even offer you a coke or coffee on the trip - free of charge. You can sit inside and look out the windows, or stand outside and feel the wind blowing by (to see a picture of the actual coast guard boat you ride in, click the Port of Houston Authority link above). There are restroom facilities at the port's Sam Houston Pavilion where you board the boat, and there are restrooms on the boat itself. Each tour is limited to a maximum capacity of 100 passengers, but we have never had any trouble getting a seat on the days we have gone. We have taken this tour twice now, and enjoyed it both times. For a free field trip, the Houston Ship Channel is top notch!

Another Review with helpful tips can be found here: Frommer's Review by David Baird

Technorati Tags: Flags, Ships, Texas, America, Social Studies, Homeschool, Port, Houston, Teaching, Fun, Children, Kids, Photos, Foto, Education, Field Trip

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Thanks for joining us on the 'Sam Houston'.

Leave us a link to your fantastic outing in the Mr. Linky below!

Leave your link here:

Experiencing Joy in the Ministry of Motherhood

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote
itself to making you happy." - George Bernard Shaw

Do you view your role as a Mother to be a “mighty one?” I do. I believe with all my heart that Motherhood is a Ministry, and that we have been called and equipped by God to raise up the next generation. I must admit, I didn’t always feel this way.

About a year and a half ago, I was really struggling with what I felt was a calling to homeschool my two beautiful girls. I knew that I loved being a mother, and that the more I thought about homeschooling, the more I fell in love with the idea, but I wondered if it was enough. I had just gotten done reading The Purpose Driven Life and I was trying to find what it was that I was uniquely shaped to do. In my mind, I somehow assumed the only way I could truly be used by God was within the church, so I looked into Youth Ministry. I found some great programs and it all sounded wonderful, but it truly was not where my heart was . . . My heart was with my family and with homeschooling.

I continued this internal struggle until last April when I attended a Walk to Emmaus retreat with my church. I didn’t know what to expect from the retreat, but I went into the weekend prayerfully, asking God to clearly show me what He wanted for my life. Why do I continue to be surprised when He answers above and beyond my expectations?!? Our God is so good! Imagine my shock when halfway into the weekend, we heard a talk by our Assistant Spiritual Director about her own struggle between her role as pastor for her church and her role as mother to her two beautiful girls! She shared that she knew God had called her into Ministry and that one day she would most likely return to her role as pastor, but that He had clearly spoken to her heart that right now, her Ministry was her children.

Immediately tears sprung to my eyes, as I knew this was my answer from God! What was I uniquely shaped for? Ministering to my family (we all know the saying that “Ministry starts at home!”) and following the God-given desire of my heart to homeschool my daughters!!

I dove into homeschooling with energy, excitement and enthusiasm after that weekend. That sealed it in my heart that my purpose was indeed a mighty one and I was following God’s path for me. I read everything I could about learning styles, approaches, curriculums, and support groups. We experimented with different things and found what worked for us (for now). Then the amazing opportunity to be a part of The Heart of the Matter community was presented and I began to fulfill another desire that has been on my heart since I was a child – writing! While I hope that my writing has inspired or encouraged some of you on your journey, I can say without a doubt that I have received far more blessings from this endeavor than I have given.

Last month, God revealed a new dimension to the plan He has for me. I attended a weekend seminar with my husband with the goal of figuring out our life’s mission – What was it that we were passionate about, and what did our unique past experiences equip us for? As I reflected on what I was passionate about, I thought about my kids, about their laughter and smiles, the wonderful memories of cuddling up on the sofa reading and dancing around the living room. Those warm and fuzzy thoughts also led me to remember the not so fuzzy moments filled with frustration, worry, exhaustion and comparison. I knew that my story wasn’t much different than many other homeschooling moms.

From the wonderful comments we get on this site, I know it is all too easy for us all to get bogged down in trying to get things right, getting the house clean, worrying about discipline and curriculum, that we can forget to breathe and ENJOY our children!! I realized that weekend that the mission God has placed on my heart is to encourage mothers, in particular homeschooling moms, to experience the true JOY in this wonderful Ministry of Motherhood!

So, what is JOY? Dictionary.com defines it as “the emotion of great delight of happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying;” and “a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated.” WOW! If I could have my girls remember me for one thing, it would be that I valued and appreciated them, and that they were the source of my delight and happiness. Do you know that one translation of Proverbs 31:28 reads, “Her sons have risen up, and pronounce her happy?” What a gift to our children for them to be able to rise up and say the same about us!!

Over the next few posts, I will be examining this concept of joy in homeschooling. I have spoken with many moms about ways they make time in their day to enjoy their family, things that can take away that joy and peace, special traditions and rituals they have incorporated into their homeschool to help build family unity, and ways to balance the busyness of the day with the joyful moments. If you have any thoughts on these questions, we would LOVE to hear them in our comments section! With your permission, I may quote you while we explore this concept together. Until next time, I encourage you to ask yourself throughout the day, “Have I hugged my kids yet? Have they seen me laugh or be silly with them? What can I do today that will show them that they are greatly valued and appreciated?”

GIVEAWAY! Latin's Not So Tough

"I will say at once, quite firmly, that the best grounding for education is the Latin grammar. I say this not because Latin is traditional and medieval, but simply because even a rudimentary knowledge of Latin cuts down the labor and pains of learning almost any other subject by at least 50 percent."

~Dorothy Sayers

Latin’s Not So Tough is a classical Latin curriculum written by homeschooling parent Karen Mohs. It is designed for the elementary age student. I had the pleasure of reviewing level 2 with my 6 year old son. Level 1 teaches pronunciations of letters and diphthongs. Level 2 begins with a nicely compacted review of the sounds learned in level 1. It then moves on to teach 50 new Latin vocabulary words commonly used by an English-speaking child.

Mrs. Mohs is a big proponent of going at the pace of the child, whether it be one lesson per day or one lesson per week. The workbook’s structure is ideal for a one page per day schedule. New letter sounds, diphthongs, and words are introduced slowly with encouragement to continuously review past lessons.

The workbook contains matching and fill in the blank worksheets, fun activities, and puzzles. As well as flashcard pages that can be cut out and used for drills. There is lots of space for handwriting practice of both individual letters and words. Also contained in the complete level 2 package are:

• Test booklet
  
• An answer key
  
• Flashcards already cut, punched and placed on a ring
  
• A very handy Latin alphabet bookmark
  
• And my favorite part of the set…a pronunciation CD

I have really enjoyed using this curriculum and am learning as much as my son is. The lessons are thorough, yet short enough for a child’s attention span.

Greek n’ Stuff has generously donated a short set of Latin’s Not So Tough Level 1 for us to give way to a lucky reader! This set includes: Student workbook, "Answers Only" answer key, Quizzes/Exams, Flashcards on a Ring. To enter this contest, you are going to have to use a little creativity. In the comment section, tell us 5 words that describe you using each letter in the word L.A.T.I.N. For example...I believe I am Loyal, Adored (by my husband), Tender, Instinctive, Nosy.

Comments will be closed on Friday the 18th at 10 pm EST. The winner will be announced on Saturday. Remember, please make sure we can easily reach you by email.

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe

The books for the devotional study of Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson have been shipped out. Please email us when you receive your book, so that we may determine when would be a good day to start the study. Right now I am thinking that May 1st would be a good day for our first discussion and posts. When you receive your book, feel free to read the first chapter and answer the questions in the back.