Another Kind of Mother

Posted by Tammy | 0 comments

During this season of thankfulness, a recent occurrence in my home has given me one more reason to be a thankful homeschooling mom.  Of course, it’s one of those reasons that is hard to admit because of the title that comes with it, but I feel it is important to share this information with brand new homeschool moms as well as moms who have been teaching their children for many years because you may not even realize what is happening within the walls of your very own home.  In fact, as my own family is engaging in our 24th year of homeschooling, this information was only pointed out to me over the past year.  It has taken me awhile to review the evidence and face the facts before I felt brave enough to share with others since it is information contrary to what the general public may believe.

Here’s the scenario that started all this.  I was feeling a bit, um, sniffly as I missed an older son.  Although I had gotten a letter or two from him, I hadn’t actually talked to him for quite awhile and my heart was missing his typical chatter.  When my husband walked into our home from work, he took one look at me and asked what was wrong.  I whimpered out my lament and he actually shook his head at me as he stated quite simply……

“You are a spoiled rotten mother!”

Although he was half teasing, his explanation that followed had much truth to it.  Yes, I was a mother who was used to having my children around me a majority of time, so when they grew up and moved on with life, that pattern was broken as it should be.

My goal as a parent is to provide a solid foundation in the lives of my children so that they are strong and able to move on to the next step as young adults.  My hope as a parent is that they will continue to love and serve the Lord as they pursue work that they will enjoy during their lifetime.

That big step of leaving home is one that I have encouraged with my children as I’m honestly quite excited for them and can’t wait to see them fly with their new wings.  Of course, there’s a tear or two with that hug good-bye, but it hasn’t been something that has immobilized me as I’ve been able to let go with peace in my heart.

So what does THAT have to do with being a spoiled rotten mother?  Any truth to that accusation?  Let’s face the facts.  As a homeschool mom I am able to spend  24/7/365 with all my children with the exception of time they’ve spent with grandparents or hanging out with friends or working at a job when they get older.  Even with those exceptions, there’s a LOT of time that I spend with my children which begins when they are newborn babies and continues until they are ready to leave home. That LOT of time adds up to YEARS.   Through this LOT of time I’ve learned so much about each one.  All their little quirks and habits and likes and dislikes.  As I gaze over my children I know exactly which ones love reading, eat mushrooms, pick their noses, sneak candy, sleep with the cat, pray from the heart, write neatly, hug frequently, understand sentence diagramming, fix electronics, keep a clean room, flip through channels, lick their plates, and the list goes on and on.

Yes, I truly do get to know each one very well. As they near young adulthood, not only do I know a lot about each one, but I’ve grown to enjoy the lengthy lively conversations that we have as we discuss issues of life even when we don’t fully agree.  Their minds are alive and working and preparing as I watch the expressions on their faces which I have come to know and love. Oh sure, there is some “know-it-all”  moments expressed from them that come with that season of parenting, but you pray that the confidence that they have with their opinion will also be the strong confidence to carry them through when they begin to realize they don’t “know-it-all”.

For you see, homeschooling through their lifetimes makes them quite unlike the typical teenager.  There is a wonderful connection that is made between parent and child.  You have a strong bond right up to the moment you hug them as they leave on their adventure in life as adults.

Time passes a bit as you become sniffly thinking about those conversations that are no longer happening within the walls of your home.  You miss the sound of their voices which talked everything from pets to politics.  You long to see their faces and the expressions they have whether laughing or concentrating or sleeping.  So when your husband calls you a spoiled rotten mother, you realize that there’s a bit of truth to that statement and you know you wouldn’t want it any other way!

“Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” ~ Psalm 118:1

Yes, I share this during the season of thanksgiving not only for those of you who may not have learned this fact yet, but to also remind myself as I’ve gone through one of those transitions this fall.  Another son walked away from our home as he began his adventure in a college setting.  As a spoiled rotten mom, I’ve missed the intensity this child brought to my life as I’ve watched him funnel it into positive characteristics that are serving him well in this new setting.  Primarily I look forward to seeing him live out his faith and make it his own as he’s already called home about some of the late night spiritual conversations that have taken place in his dorm room.

And as a spoiled rotten mother, I’m also looking forward to Thanksgiving time when he comes home for a visit and sits around the kitchen table with his younger siblings who still live here and his older siblings who have also traveled home. Those times truly are a treasure of thankfulness and the heart of the matter for this spoiled rotten homeschooling mother!

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy Dallmann’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from grade school age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.