Belinda | Heart of the Matter

August 4, 2010 By Belinda Leave a Comment

This is the season when many parents are looking for wisdom, knowledge, and just a simple word of encouragement as they prepare. I pray that this piece will be stimulating, or at minimum, revitalizing, as you take in the magnitude of the blessing the Lord has in store.

Seek Ye First…

I am of the opinion that the choice to educate our children at home is really taking back a God-given responsibility to teach our children in accordance with Deuteronomy 6. The real questions, from my perspective, are:

Are you willing to make the sacrifices to your own life and lifestyle to take on your child’s education?
Are you confident in your ability to begin this journey?
Are you willing to persevere through the difficulties that inevitably surface in your pursuit to homeschool?

The answer to these questions might not be a resounding “yes” today, but if you have gotten this far, you and your spouse can take the next step forward and trust God to reveal to you his plans for your family. Touch and agree in prayer, speaking God’s words back to Him. An example might be as follows:

Lord, I thank you for your goodness in all things, and for your promises to us through your Word. You tell us that we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. You tell us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. You tell us to train our children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it. I need guidance, Father, in how to dedicate myself toward home education. I am submitting this decision to you. I pray the willingness to sacrifice as needed to complete this work. Let me not love anything in this world more than I love doing your will in mine and in my children’s lives. I am believing you that the fruits of the Spirit will manifest themselves richly in my life that I may exercise love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, kindness, and perseverance and self-control with my children. I will not get weary in well-doing, and I trust you to, in season, reward me and my family. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Be Your First Homeschooling Student

Without doubt, from the moment you began to think about homeschooling, you have had visions of school days dancing in your head. Were your “students” in desks for 7-8 hours each day? Were they perusing through textbook after textbook? The reality is that most of us enter the homeschooling arena from a traditional academic background, and it takes a period of readjustment for us as parents to encompass all that homeschool can be. Also factor in helping our children adjust if they have spent time in traditional academic environments as well. Even if your child has never seen the inside of a classroom, he or she may have an expectation based upon conversations with friends or relatives.

There is nothing wrong with a traditional approach to home education, if that is your preference. Too often, though, we enter into a traditional approach and then dive into major curriculum expenditures because that is all we know. The facts are that your homeschool, within state-specific boundaries, can look as much or as little like a traditional school as you and your little student(s) find effective. I will offer this bit of wisdom: before you spend money on education for your children, invest in your own education. Having a better understanding of your home education options may completely change your vision of homeschool, and may save you literally hundreds of dollars.

Your first lesson, you ask? Learn about the law. Each state has legislation regarding home education and expected documentation to support the legitimacy of your “school”. You will find that some states are more homeschool-friendly than others, but all states will have guidelines regarding expected subjects, days of school, and in some cases, reporting requirements. Visit the Home School Legal Defense Association’s website, www.hslda.org , for more valuable information in this area.

Set Goals

One of my favorite passages of scripture is Jeremiah 29: 9-11 in which that Lord encourages us that He has plans for us, ‘plans to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future.’ I am reminded when I look at our children that, in the same spirit of our heavenly Father, we desire to give our children a hope and a future. You know the plans that you have for your children, and after praying about homeschooling, there is no better starting point than to begin to write those plans.

It may be clear to us that we need to establish yearly goals for our students, but what about setting goals for yourself and for your school? Knowing what you want your children to accomplish long-term, and knowing what you want to accomplish as a parent/ home educator will shape and define your school environment as much as any curriculum decision. I cannot stress this enough: invest in your own education and understanding before you take on the sometimes overwhelming task of curriculum decisions.

There are, from my perspective, two sets of goals that are critical to your homeschooling vision. The first set of goals has to deal with what you want your children to be able to do after they finish school. You may be able to quickly list ‘go to college’ or ‘get a job’, but how about the more intangible goals that relate more to what habits we teach each day? As an example, when we really thought about it, we began to list goals such as these:

As adults, we want our children to be our friends.
We want the children to marry spouses that know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
Our children will be independent thinkers (i.e. plan “A” should not always be to call Mom and Dad!)

There is no curriculum that will directly teach these elements, but as they are what is critical to us, we have to in the words of Stephen Covey, “begin with the end in mind.” Developing this list allows us as parents to instill in them those values and impart the love and wisdom that will, with the grace of God, make this list real in our lives.

The second list is an annual list of what we want to accomplish in our homeschool environment. This list is completely separate from your list of what the children should accomplish; that list comes later. This list is for you. As a first year homeschooler, many of your goals might center around developing a comfort level in your new role. I will again use some of our goals as triggers for generating your own thoughts:

We will clean our home regularly and keep it neat (this may sound small, but one of the challenges of homeschooling after working outside our home for years was adjusting to the clutter associated with being there all day).

I want to develop a “rhythm” in balancing homeschooling, a home-based business, and a newborn.

With the Lord as your foundation, the possibilities are endless! After prayer, jump in and get started with your own education and your own vision. What is most important is that you begin to shape an environment that will allow your children to flourish spiritually, academically, and physically. May the Lord bless your endeavors.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.

July 6, 2010 By Belinda 1 Comment

That is the question—at least, in several of the high school homeschool communities that I frequent.

This is an exciting time of year for those that are in the throes of college applications, acceptances, and (financial aid) agreements. This latter portion—put quite simply, getting someone else to pay for your child’s education, always leads to discussion about having to meet someone else’s requirements to receive funding.

The discussion about having to meet others’ requirements leads to a number of questions, including:

1)      Should we take the SAT and/or the ACT?
2) Should we plan on taking SAT II’s, and, if so, how many and in what subjects?
3)      How do we prepare for the interview/college trip?
4)      From whom do we seek letters of recommendation?

…and one that we’ve toyed with for a bit, should we take the GED (General Equivalency Diploma)?

My husband and I have discussed this and other college entrance hoops a lot. In fact, Barb’s confession of her middle-of-the-night fears (see here) were hauntingly real for me, though I’ll admit that I’ve not had many awake nights of this sort. Then again, the oldest is only a freshman (smile). I’ve heard of all sorts of articles from HSLDA and other places about the pros and cons of having a homeschooled student take a GED. The biggest advantage, from my perspective, is that there are a number of schools who require such a validation, both for entry and/or financial aid. If that school is your child’s heart’s desire, then you must act as the Romans when in Rome. GEDs, and SATs and ACTs, for that matter, are considered objective, independent measures of knowledge; for a homeschooler, these assessments help get us out of the realm of what one homeschool loop calls “mommy grades.” Though I have my doubts about the SAT, given all the data about cultural biases, I accept that these are the standards for how colleges try to compare one child’s abilities to another’s.

There are also a myriad of reasons not to take a GED.

With all due respect to those who have chosen to take it, the prevailing thought is that there is a stigma attached to this particular test. By design, its primary audience is high school dropouts who need to demonstrate that they have accumulated the equivalent of a high school diploma. Is a homeschooled student who has worked hard for four years and graduated in the same category? If you ask the military, the answer is yes. If you ask certain schools, particularly those in homeschool-unfriendly states, the answer is yes. If you ask most homeschooling parents, the answer is an adamant NO, with the appropriate amount of blood, sweat, and tears dripping from furrowed brows.

As for us, if the Lord continues to say the same, we will not go the GED route. Homeschooling is a far more common practice than it was, say, even 20 years ago, and I like to think the days are gone when the term ‘homeschooling’ makes people look at you as if you have something hanging from your nose.

There are simply too many colleges out there that actively seek out homeschooled kids to deal with jumping with extra hoops. And, admittedly, I’m one of those parents with a furrowed brow who feels as if I’ve worked too hard to lump my kid in with another who chose to quit early.

But there are also other, more paramount, reasons that we will seek a college that does not require a homeschooler to complete a GED. When we began homeschooling, we (my husband and I) started this journey believing that we could do something better than the traditional school system. We bought into the fact that homeschooling was a viable alternative to what we were being offered. We still believe that, and we’ll stand proudly with the transcript that we’ve compiled over four tough years. This has been no cake walk; there have been no free rides, and shame on those who think anything different might be the case. I’m finding that some outside validation is a plus, so we’ll get it. The oldest has taken at least one course outside of us to date, and she’ll probably enroll in the local community college to complete dual degree courses. She will take the standard college prep/ entrance exams.

As for the GED, though, we say no, thank you; we will stay firmly on the path that we believe God paved for us, and we’ll walk in it to whatever doors He chooses to open.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding;

Acknowledge Him in all thy ways, and He shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

July 5, 2010 By Belinda 7 Comments

I’ve been skimming a new favorite on the homeschool circuit, Do Hard Things, by Alex and Brett Harris. I’m trying to determine whether it would be the right selection for a living book on character next school year. This book, written by homeschooled teen twins, prompts teenagers to rise above the low expectations that society sets for them. While I’m still undecided about the book, its content left me thinking. In fact, I thought so much about it until it prompted me to have the discussion with our Sunday school class about the gap between what God thinks of them and what they think of themselves.

One of the realizations the book expresses, and our class expressed as well, is that, for the most part, when you see something about teenagers, it’s generally negative. Whether it’s teenage pregnancies, teens and drugs, teens and peer pressure (almost always negative peer pressure, not positive), the news is just not good. I can remember surfing in Blogland and finding a meme on raising and homeschooling teenagers. I found it intriguing that the authors actually had to articulate the need to be nice when speaking of your own children.

There are changes that occur in children at this age, without doubt. On one hand, the homeschooling environment gives us the opportunity to be more sensitive, hopefully reducing everyone’s stress level during this accelerated growth phase. On the other hand, the homeschooling environment gives us more of an opportunity to pray because we don’t get a break when the stress levels are high. As I’m no child expert or medical doctor, I won’t presume to offer any advice on teen development; this is simply my observation based upon conversations with friends in similar situations.

So, where do all the studies, the research, the articles, and the countless “how to” studies leave a parent of a homeschooled teen? With tons of information on home educating a high schooler; why not add my two cents? (smile)

After a looming sense of dread during my daughter’s 8th grade year, I would say at this point that high school is not the big, hairy monster that I thought it would be. I am convinced that most of the changes existed in my mind rather than in the way that we adjusted our homeschool. For us, the core course requirements stayed the same.

Our oldest still needs a steady diet of grammar and composition, math, science, and history. Yet, I would tell another parent that the age-old wisdom of knowing your child becomes tantamount here: knowing strengths, areas that need development, life/career interests, learning styles, and how to marry all of this with the opportunities around you can make all the difference in the high school experience.

What else would I tell a parent who is considering a homeschool that includes high school?

Include the Bible in your studies. It amazes me how many Christian parents decide to forego Bible studies as children grow. Several parents that I know will say something along the line of “we just don’t have time,” or in some way insinuate that since it’s not important to a college administrator, its value is somehow diminished. I shared with such a parent recently that it is possible to do both as a part of your studies–integrate God’s Word and prepare your children academically for college. (Her comment was, “I want my children to know who god is but I want them to get the information that will get them into a great college first.”) I talked about the history significance of the Bible, and how even non-believers recognize the significance of the Bible, if nothing more than as a history text; it is included in almost every study of ancient World history. But that’s really not reason enough to include Biblical studies. The real reason in my mind is what I alluded to earlier: what teenagers are challenged with today makes me realize how very sheltered my world was 25-30 years ago. As our pastor shared this morning, a walk with our Lord shouldn’t be a Sunday morning event, but should permeate the remaining hours in our week as well. Simply put, a Christian parent can no longer afford to limit opening a Bible to Sunday morning. The enemy is too cunning, and the price—our children’s souls—is too high.

Don’t slack off because your child’s academic goals don’t include college. I’ve shared previously that my father had to quit school at an early age in order to sharecrop with his family. My mother had more education, and fought to become a registered nurse when the highest position most black women held was generally a teacher. Because they understood the value of higher education, we were never given a choice about college; we simply got to choose where we wanted to go. My husband and I have raised our children the same way, and we’ve geared our homeschool toward that end. However, I also recognize that college is not everyone’s goal. I do believe, however, that regardless of the path, this is the last opportunity for you to pour into your child those habits, that knowledge, and those values that will define her as she leaves home. Lee Binz of the Home Scholar does a marvelous job of discussing why an academically rigorous education is important, especially to a child who is not pursuing higher education.

Having said that, what should you add to a high schooler’s curriculum to give it uniqueness? Electives, which can take many forms. A high schooler can also take advantage of art studies, music studies, and whatever electives are of interests. Composition can take a number of forms: blogging, editing a family newsletter, or volunteering for an organization that needs a public relations person (free press releases), as examples. The oldest has a friend who writes plays and short films, and will see his first manuscript brought to life this summer at a local library. For that math enthusiast who likes to play video games, how about a course in applied mathematics such that he can design his own interactive fun?

An unschooler would give better advice than I would on designing electives. There are also books and resources on the subject. In our home, given our daughter’s interest in fashion, I put together a reading/ writing project for her using the Biblical character of Esther (since we studied Ancient World History). She drug her feet in completing the project, but when she asked me, “So, who are we going to study next year?” I knew I was on to something.

Pick your battles; win the war (the dragging of feet prompted that one). Our high school doesn’t start when I want; it ends later than I want. I make a choice each morning to not start my day fussing. I don’t always remember the choice when the beauty regimen takes closer to an hour, but I make it (smile). Toward the end of the year, I began to follow up on our pastor’s worship series regarding “The Worshipping Life,” and I walked around in the mornings with my MP4 player listening to worship music. This changed my whole outlook on the day and its troubles. It probably made me more relaxed than I should have been, but at least I wasn’t screaming at anyone to hurry. Well, not too much.

Early is never early enough. Again, I am writing from the perspective of a parent whose child, unless the Lord sends a burning bush to say otherwise, will leave here and attend college in a few short years. Yet, I’m sure that whatever your children’s plans are, there is one constant: you must prepare them to increasingly live a life of self-sufficiency (minus human interventions, I mean). This has meant, in addition to day-to-day lessons of managing time, money, and a stack of dirty clothes and/or dirty dishes, the following tasks:

Coordinating with the public school system for standardized test taking
Researching college alternatives
Researching scholarship and grant possibilities
Transcript preparation
Understanding what a given college wants and needs and how that pertains to what we do in high school

In short, all of those activities that the public school system handled for me, complete with the expertise and the power to delegate, now fall flat in the laps of my husband and I to get done. I have at least two examples of making a few calls in a half-embarrassed state, thinking that someone would consider me a slave driver of parent. In each case, I had narrowly missed some critical deadline to position the oldest to accomplish some major milestone in her college preparation. My advice to any parent who is walking a similar road would be to start early enough that others will laughingly say to you, “You’re already doing that?” As others have wisely said to me, you will laugh last. Pray. Though prayer is nothing new for a Christian, I believe the Lord gives a special grace for those with teens.

Here are some specific needs that I know I’ve become acutely more aware of in raising my teen:

We have to pray for them to stay with Christ, whether they leave us or not.
We have to pray to grow in trusting them as young adults whose plans don’t always align with our own.
Because there is no other teacher to point to regarding the gap in your child’s knowledge (whether going to college, to the military, or straight to work), we must do our best, but we also have to know God as a gap-filler.
We must pray to grow in grace as we come to the revelation that everything we think is wrong with them ain’t them (pardon the vernacular). In praying, realize that the Lord will change you as much—or maybe even more–as He’ll change your child. We are given a wonderful opportunity during these years, and with the right resources, it can be a tremendous time in our lives. God bless you.

July 3, 2010 By Belinda 1 Comment

Any homeschooling parent of a college-bound homeschooler learns quickly the importance of documentation. Not only is the documentation important, but, apparently, appropriate or inappropriate verbiage can make a big difference. Texas is such a homeschool-friendly state that the only documentation I have kept in the past are those files that satisfied my own needs as a visual learner. Now I am realizing that once next year approaches, someone who has no clue about my oldest child will judge her worth based largely upon my words. Scary.

On the lighter side of this concern is a post I saw on a Yahoo loop from an unschooler regarding putting together a course description based upon her kids’ “class.”

I’m almost finished with my daughter’s course descriptions, and am a little fried…Any ideas anyone? Basically, for the last six years (I’m giving one credit) we have raised goats for milk, bred and birthed kids (goats), been a part of a friend’s horse breeding program which was very specific and controlled, kept our own horses and are well versed in just about every health issue a horse can have. We’ve raised chickens and turkeys from eggs to slaughter and or/egg production, and are well versed in all poultry health care. We also know a lot about dogs and cats, if that helps.

My mother-in-law would have a field day with this one. She once informed us, with great satisfaction mind you, that her friend, a fellow public school teacher, had been asked to lead the homeschool group at their church. Both my mother-in-law and her friend are servants of God and very skilled at what they do, but I could not help but scratch my head on this one. What drove a homeschool parent to seek guidance—no, leadership– from a classroom teacher in running a homeschool?

Though I could see some benefit, I kept going back to how can you articulate all of the non-academic transitions and accomplishments your children make just by being in this environment to someone who does not necessarily understand it (and perhaps does not even want to)?

Such was my thinking as I continued to read through the thread and think about how I might document our journey for someone who is just reading it to make enough to offset his student loans.

One person responded with a few college course descriptions as a suggestion for the appropriate wording:

I don’t know what high schools call stuff like this but at the university level, it’s animal science. If you want a more formal and comprehensive description, go to an Ag school/Vet School website and find the appropriate course descriptions.

310. Behavior and Management of Domestic Animals. Application of behavior of cattle, horses, sheep, goats and swine to their management; basic principles, physiology of behavior, perception,training, predators, use of dogs in livestock production, stress and animal welfare.

Growth and Development of Livestock. Evaluation of slaughter livestock as related to growth and development, production efficiency, carcass value; selection of breeding animals based on performance, production records, visual appraisal; principles of growth biology; biotechnological tools used to manage growth and development.

The list of college courses goes on, but I will spare you.

This thread was quite extensive—I won’t share it all, but there was wonderful advice and rich dialogue about wording, passion, and how to convey both in the right way. The parent was determined to not use ‘educationese,’ or ten-dollar words and passive voice, as she described it. Her perspective was that this language was ‘designed to obscure rather than illuminate.’ There were a number of testimonies, but I was particularly struck by this response:

The course description is also a place to show how unique your child’s education has been. It’s a place where passions can shine though. There are probably any number of ways [a] course description can be approached successfully. I have chosen to use college course descriptions as a guide because I think that will best present my son’s courses in a manner that demonstrates their rigor.

That was followed by this jewel from one mom back to the original writer:

They [college administrators] want to see what the student is interested in and how she will contribute to the college community. You have a great story to tell with your daughter. I don’t think you should try to shoehorn her into the schooled box. Let the colleges know how she is different and wonderful.

So, where the original writer will end up, who knows? Yet, as for me, I am a believer that certain messages cross my path for a reason, so I left this exchange with a renewed commitment to honor our individuality and do our best to satisfy an administrator’s requirements, but not allow our school to be bound by them.

This whole discussion regarding “college speak,” versus being true to a child’s education got me thinking about how words influence others. I thought about the fact that it is okay to be genuine and authentic, but I also thought about how Paul ministered: he was true to who he was, but he also knew that he had to meet the Jewish people at a point where the Jewish people would listen and look for more. So, I started putting together a course description of sorts for our Costume and Fashion in Ancient History course (do you like that name?), where, thus far, I will use the Biblical book of Esther, another short text that has a similar title as the “course name,” and a wonderful novel by Ginger Garrett, Chosen: The Lost Diaries of Esther:

A study of costume and fashion in ancient Egypt and its impact on women of royalty within the Persian Empire.

Well, it is a start. I will put more meat on those bones as I flesh it out for myself and continue to dig through all the great resources out there. Word crafting could be a course topic of its own. In the meantime, I am convinced that these next few years should be loads of fun.

May 13, 2010 By Belinda Leave a Comment

‘Good teaching cannot be reduced to techniques; good teaching comes from the identity and the integrity of the teacher.’

Joe Briseno

While perusing a homeschool enrichment magazine recently, a title caught my eye: “The Missing Curriculum.” Given this time of year, when many homeschoolers are wrapping up one school year and beginning to plan for another, I found the title not only catchy, but I was actually drawn to it. Like most of us, if I am lacking something that would take the kids’ education to a new level, I want to know about it! So I began to read. As I learned more about what the author felt was missing, I also began to think, in a larger context, about curriculum in general. We are no longer living in an era where vendors will not sell their wares to homeschooling parents; in fact, most new homeschoolers find themselves overwhelmed with all of the many choices available on every subject imaginable. As a curriculum developer myself, I am well aware of the plight of up-and-coming businesses in the quest to enter an increasingly crowded market. In continuing to read the article, I also thought about the intangibles—those oh, so very necessary skills and talents that are critical to homeschoolers and home educating parents that you cannot buy in a box. As a parent, one of those skills is passion; it drives us to move forward past our frustrations, and it ignores our insecurities.

Years before I left the corporate arena, I remember attending a workshop entitled “Use of Self as an Instrument.” I met several attendees there with heartbreaking stories. One older gentleman grew up as an adopted child in a small town. He spoke of the humiliation of having the church elders, who felt it was their business to know intimate details of everyone’s lives, broadcast the situation under which he was adopted. This public knowledge of private horrors haunted him until he left the town as a young man. Another woman was sexually assaulted, and trying to deal with all the emotions that surfaced in the aftermath of this horrid encounter. Another attendee, a father, struggled not to fault himself for his daughter’s strange and incurable illness. There were other equally difficult tales to hear, and to say that the week was a rough week would be an understatement. But, after the tears and the pain of reliving these incidents through the eyes of strangers, the facilitator led us all to an interesting place. Each of us had to look at what we came from—good, bad, and ugly—and spend the rest of the week deciphering how that had shaped us into who we are. The experience forced us to think about why we do what we do; completing this exercise required that we begin to understand what we are passionate about.

I believe in my heart that teaching parents how to evoke passion, and how to use it as a tool, is a missing curriculum. Guess what? You will not find a packet of exercises, a text, or workbook that help you to know you. Though there are numerous self-help books on this subject, you’ll never see “Who is ___________ (insert your name)?” on any shelf—that is, unless you write it. A teacher’s manual on core subjects will tell you, “Say [this]” or “Do [this],” and by following these instructions might help you become a better teacher. Yet, the question that helps us be successful as teachers is not how we teach, but how do we awaken the teacher within us?

This is not just a question for home educators. My mother-in-law, a public school teacher for decades now, sometimes vents her frustrations with some newer teachers beginning careers in education. “They don’t have a calling to teach. It’s just a job for them.” Can a paycheck strike up deeply-imbedded emotions? Probably not, but the right money might give us a desire to get more in touch with what drives us (those in Hollywood do it all the time!). But as ones who are not paid to educate, a paycheck won’t drive us. Passion must urge us on—not necessarily a passion to teach, but a passion to produce fruit in our kids, a passion to do what God commands, a passion to surpass society’s low expectations for our families. The supplies, the flash cards, the computer, and yes, even the curriculum are all tools and techniques to use until the real teacher—me, you–shows up. The real teacher is in touch with his/ her passion. When our children are younger, the real teacher must show up to direct, to train, to encourage, and every so often, to correct. And though the goal is independence and self-sufficiency, the real teacher must still show up, even when our children are older. Someone must role model adulthood in Christ for our adults-in-training.

How do we discover our passion and then use it in the classroom? The answer is first to know who we are. Life is our teacher, and a great one at that. It is why we can teach some areas well and why we struggle with other areas—we have been there. Experience determines what we view as important enough to pass on to future generations, as well as what isn’t as high a priority. It allows us to walk in authority and confidence in some places, and to be humble enough to admit that we need help in others. You may not have a testimony like the ones I described above. But there is still something that drives you, and you should surface it, acknowledge it, and then pray about how to use it when educating your children.

Our God is mighty, able to take every hurt, every pain, and every disappointment and use it for His glory and our benefit.

Secondly, be true to who you are. I do not mean to state that there are not areas where we can all improve. Praise God for the pioneers of homeschooling who were unselfish enough to write books and share their learnings. I have tabs, highlights, and dog-eared pages in some of my homeschooling favorites, and I still read them and gain new insights! But after seven years of homeschooling, I have also become comfortable with who I am as a parent and an educator. I know that I love to plan things out, and I need structure. I know that I am a morning person (although at least one of my children is a night owl, forcing me to make some adjustments to my routine). I know that I set high expectations for myself and for the children. Those aspects of who I am will probably stay with me until I leave this earth, short of a divine intervention. So I am careful to educate myself without feeling condemned by what I read. I can improve without feeling insecure about someone else’s victory.

Scripture tells us that the Holy Spirit will bring to our remembrance all things seen and heard. Our task, therefore, is to be good students. We must be aware of what gets into our subconscious, and what tests build our intuition. Life processes itself through these areas, and we need to be sensitive. We need to be students ourselves—of our spiritual gifts, of skills and talents we have, and of those that have yet to come. We need to take notes along our journey; God has been too good to us in whatever He has taught us for us to waste our memories. Our teaching then, becomes an outpouring of our lives—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever colors, fabrics, and textures the Lord has allowed into our own personal rug, we use it. That way, our children will produce fruit and prayerfully not make the mistakes that we made. Our acknowledging of our own experiences helps us steer them in other directions. They may slip and fall, but when it is all said and done, they will change this world for the better—just by being in it.

January 7, 2010 By Belinda 3 Comments

I stumbled upon this passage not too long ago while enjoying Charlotte’s Web with the youngest daughter:

(Wilbur asks:) “Why did you do all this for me? I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.”

“You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that.”

Isn’t that beautiful? Passages like it from books considered classics allow me to focus very intently on what our children read, and why. Have you ever thought about what makes a good book, well, a good book? What makes you want to read a book again, and again, and again?

With all due respect to the Newberry Honors committee, I have determined that a book that receives honors is not, in and of itself, a good selection for me. Nor is a good book defined by the fact that it is listed as a classic. Early in my homeschooling journey, I had a conversation with a more seasoned homeschooling mom about a book that our oldest daughter, then about nine years old, was really struggling to read—from the perspective of interest, not ability. It was killing me to listen, and putting her to sleep to read. But it is a classic, I lamented to this dear soul, whom I now consider a mentor and friend—what should I do? This resulted in a memorable conversation about the fact that it is okay for a book that is considered to be a classic to others to be a sleeper for you. She spoke of books that she read with her son where the climax did not happen until the end of the book. She was very helpful in sharing techniques to keep longer, more difficult books interesting. You would think some of this conversation would be intuitively obvious, but then again, when you take teaching into your own hands, some of the mental flips you agonize over can be mind-boggling if you tried to articulate it to someone. I struggled so much with the “have tos” of school then (and sometimes now)—it is almost embarrassing.

In furthering my own education about reading, and especially selections in reading to older children, I ran across a tidy, eloquent passage that summed up what I want from each book we read: I want books that feed the mind and nourish the soul. I want the kids to be exposed to books that force them to think about who they are and make changes for the better. I want them to chew on the lessons that a book has to offer—not just in the moment, but for years to come. When I think about the best experiences we have had with books, some were rare and precious: we cheered, we laughed until we cried; at least once, I did cry. But those emotions did not always occur. What did happen—and it might not have manifested itself until later—is that the words were shaping the children’s thinking. If God’s Word sets this precedent, should we not fully expect other books that are worth our attention to do the same?

Breaking my goal into its two components, I will ask you the same question that I ask of myself: do your reading selections feed your child’s mind?

In many modern educational systems, instruction is lagging behind development. I pray that this is a claim that none of us boast. However, complaining youngsters and/or teenagers and parents who feel overburdened, along with tests that reward memorization rather than understanding permeate our traditional school systems, and these same ills can become a cancer in our schools, too. We do not help our kids by watering down their education. The ones who are hurt most in this environment are the very ones we seek to help—our children. Susan Wise Bauer’s The Well-Trained Mind outlines the realities of studying classics with older students, but this advice can apply to a child who is struggling with a book of any sort, at any age:

Especially in the early years of high school, you should supervise this process, rather than allowing the student to disappear into the family room alone with her books. Great-books study is demanding. It requires the student to work hard, to abandon simple question-and-answer learning in favor of a struggle with ideas. Often, the material isn’t immediately appealing. The philosophies may be unfamiliar; the opinions are complex; the vocabulary is challenging. Put the student at the kitchen table (or wherever you’re planning to be) so that you can encourage her to keep working. (Bauer, p. 481)

So, how about nourishment of the soul? Simply put, no matter what age, does your reading list challenge your children to do more, to be more?

Even in an age where literacy and moral standards are declining, there is still a body of knowledge that shapes our language and our culture. One of my educational goals is for the children to be aware of what shapes our thinking as a society, past the memorization of dates and names. As we move through these books, I make sure I complete enough homework to have a conversation about what the book means in the larger scheme of life. And to fully do this, we must understand that great authors were great readers, and we must view their books in relation to one another. As painstaking as The Iliad might be, Homeric epic poetry is the model for a number of other classics. C.S. Lewis read J.R.R. Tolkien’s works and was enamored with Greek mythology. Drawing these connections through reading can be immensely powerful in helping us understand the writer’s perspective when we are reading.

How might you test your child’s understanding and interest in a given selection? Consider discussing one or more of the following questions:

Is this a book you might re-read some day?

Are there any books that you think about well after you have completed reading them?

Is there a character from the book that you would most like to meet?

That is the academic, more “heady” side of why we read classics. The more important piece to me is what these books do for the heart and mind aside from giving the kids a fighting chance at appearing intelligent (smile). The characters in these books challenge us to be more, to do more. You cannot read The Epic of Gilgamesh without questioning your own sense of courage and bravery. Romeo and Juliet forces us to ask ourselves how far would we go for love’s sake? Secondly, these books increase our sense of compassion for our fellow man. Our six-year-old understood that while listening to Charlotte express her love for Wilbur. Is that not what God commands of us—to love Him with all our hearts, souls, and minds, and to love our neighbors as ourselves? In fact, He tells us that every law and prophecy hinges upon these two commandments. Consider these thoughts from Carol Jago’s With Rigor For All: Teaching the Classics to Contemporary Students:

When teachers are fully successful, they are successful beyond any of their conscious intentions about particular subjects: they make converts, they make souls that have been turned around to face a given way of being and moving in the world. (Jago, p. 68)

May He bless you as you choose spiritually and mentally healthy reading selections for your children.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs.

November 19, 2009 By Belinda 1 Comment

Every now and then, we are placed, I believe divinely, in a warm and comforting space in our homeschooling experience where everything just seems to fit together. I relish those moments when there are unplanned and unexpected opportunities to really seal knowledge into their hearts and minds through the power of repetition. For example, at one period in history, we were reading about King James commanding the Bible to be rewritten, a conversation which adds a “real life” feel to our Bible study. Our son brought up how our study of astronomy is a constant reminder of what God is doing in the scientific world (my words, not his). We read the book of Matthew and talked about how the people knew God’s law, but didn’t know God’s love. Meanwhile, apart from school, we’ve had to deal with some flesh-like bickering between the older two, which led to the memorization of 1 Corinthians 13. Finally, as a just-before-bed read aloud, we enjoyed Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls, great fodder for talks about the “wild” west and so many turn-of-the-century events (the transcontinental railroad, mountain men, the growth of America).

What I described above is an academic product; the other component of this time of “fitting together”, and perhaps more important for our goals, is our enjoyment of each other as family while we read. I was blessed to hear Sally Clarkson lecture about the value of reading, and one of her touch points was the power of reading to build strong bonds of relationship. A few days ago, I read to our toddler while the older kids enjoyed breakfast at the table. I got so tickled as I read One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and my older two “intellectuals” had quite the dialogue about why a Wink’s fur is pink just because it likes to drink pink ink. How funny, and how fun!

As much as I strive to follow a Charlotte Mason approach in our school, I fully realize that, for reading this to one of the children, I must seek forgiveness for my sin. Indeed, Miss Mason would refer to One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish as twaddle, and would probably shake her head in dismay at the thought that I exposed the children to such emptiness. However, I am not discussing a specific book as much as a connection to one another that occurred while learning.

I obviously have my biases based upon my own family’s journey while educating at home. Yet, regardless of your teaching methodology/ approach to learning, I believe you can create an environment that enhances the relationships your children might already enjoy with one another. Creating and building relationships is very different than reciting a short-term memorization of facts that will later be lost and gone forever. How do we build upon that foundation of familial relationship to make learning together even more meaningful? Consider the following:

Game time and tea time (even for a boy!) can be as educational, though informal, as any text you might find. This one-liner from a fellow homeschooler opened my eyes to all new possibilities…

When dd was young and we were asked what curriculum did we used, I used to say Milton Bradley; we used a lot of games for early learning.

Sharing books, and sharing conversations over books, brings a family together in the same way that a family movie favorite will, only it occurs during the “school” day. I personally like to stop that read-aloud right at the point where it creates a good cliffhanger. The kids are delightfully annoyed. “MOM!” My son will exclaim.

Making books together has been a more recent, but very effective way for our kids of all ages to learn and to show off their handiwork and talents to one another. The books are personal keepsakes, and I don’t miss an opportunity to have one child teach another based upon what he/she has already learned and documented.

For the families that like to get out (not our pajama-clad clan), school on the road, as in a local library or Barnes and Noble, can stimulate any bored and stale homeschool.

You may have your own methods for building friendships among your children as you build collegians. Learning isn’t always fun, and not every day will be one that calls for a Kodak moment. For this reason and more, we should pay special attention to the signs of accomplishments in their hearts as well as in their minds; the former are not gradable.

A while back, the oldest prepared for science—learning about density via adding salt to water and observing an egg that sank initially gradually float. She had to fight with her sister and brother to drop teaspoons of salt and the egg into the glass of water. As we read about Sebastian Bach walking 200 miles for the opportunity to attend music school, the same kid broke into a mini math lesson to see how long this walk would take for a child. You could feel the hush of shock and sadness over the kids as they looked at pictures while I told the story of the Holocaust. Our younger two then had some great quality time together as we all sipped on peppermint tea. Later, over a morning snack of Fuji apples, the oldest exclaimed, “Thanks, Mom. These are my favorite kind.” I thought she said these are my favorite times, and so I smiled inside and out as I replied, “Yea, mine, too.”

October 8, 2009 By Belinda 1 Comment

‘Housekeeping requires knowledge and intelligence…, the kind that is complex, not simple, and combines intellect, intuition and feelings. You need a memory good enough to remember how things are done, where things are, what the daily routine requires, what everyone in the home is up to as it affects housekeeping, the state of supplies, budgets, and bills… Above all, housekeeping must be intelligent so that it can be empathetic, for empathy is the form of intelligence that creates the feeling of home…’

~From Cheryl Mendelsohn’s Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House, pg. 10-11

In a rare moment when I am not on the computer for work or business purposes, I enjoy short, cute quizzes that tell you—with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, I am sure—what type of cook or gardener or housekeeper you are. There are times when I attempt to view my home from the perspective of an outsider. I look at furniture choices (although most of the furniture is hand-me-downs as opposed to the result of deliberate store picks), plant selections, and paint colors. As I look, I have my own short synopsis of who I am, equally tongue-in-cheek. I conclude that I am low-maintenance, arguably cheap, and my choice of colors says that I must be a closet naturalist. In summary, I am led repeatedly back to the one word people often use to describe me: “warm.”

For several years, probably due to readjusting our finances after I came home and/or settling into a house that was not so new anymore, I did very little to improve the house. We moved furniture around and replaced items as needed, but I stopped buying, stopped painting, and for the most part, I stopped decorating. Then my husband began to have his men’s group meetings here, and I began to see the house through other’s eyes and started buying again. After the first of my new purchases I was a bit ashamed of myself: was I worried about what others thought (something I pride myself on not doing)? Was I trying to impress someone? If I wanted to spruce up the house, why did it take having people over to make me spend money– providing comfort and luxury for the five folks that live here motivation was not enough?

I had more time to visit my own thought processes while listening to my husband’s comments as the men’s meetings rotated from house to house. I could not help but notice everyone’s attraction to the newer, bigger homes and the assessments that followed. Then I really got mad. In my rekindled passion for upgrades, was I subscribing (or I should say renewing my subscription) to a materialistic view that “things” in my home dictated how blessed we are as a family?

As all of this was churning through my head, I had a chance to think more about that word warm. In part, being warm means:

1) showing or feeling kindness and friendliness
2) showing passion or liveliness
3) showing or feeling great enthusiasm

When I think about it, I realize that this is what I wanted for our home—to be warm, not just for visitors, but even for the people that live here each day. I want people to walk in and feel at home, to be relaxed. I want the atmosphere to spark conversation, to give people the freedom to laugh, to cry, to just be. What a change that type of thinking made in how I spent my time and resources. Even the mundane clean-up tasks I have taken up with a new energy. I will admit I still do not dance around with the broom. What I have done is to take a look at the home, not as a list of tasks or a depressing view of all the home improvement projects I would love to complete with unlimited time and money. As a wife and mother, I have a God-given unique ability to do something that no one else in my home can do: I can turn this house into a home. This ability transcends the way I place pillows on a sofa, to the smells I choose for cleansing and deodorizing, to the foods I select at the grocery store. It is a heavenly covering over all who abide here. How I manage the home is about safety, health and wealth; my care and concern nourishes the mind, body and soul.

As one small example, so many do not enjoy grocery shopping, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I get a kick out of meal planning. It is one of my favorite household activities. Past the joy of eating (smile), I like managing the budget, and consequently setting the course for what we will eat. I love making the list, experimenting with new ingredients, and observing how the whole process determines where we will shop—a regular grocery store, a whole foods store, a fish market or a produce market, or maybe all of those listed and more. So, guess what? As I am shopping and the Muzak pumps out 80’s pop music, I reminisce of my college days, relish where I am now and the opportunity to bring pleasure to my family in this way, and I sing along.

Though our home is far from immaculate, and more often than I like, I must admit that it is not even company-ready, I have learned to embrace managing the household as more ministry than misery. I realize more and more each day that all of the tasks that we manage, and the associated value that we place on them, are a function of what we want people to feel while in our homes. “People,” by the way, can be those that live in the home every day, and not necessarily company. With each flower blossoming, with paper-free counters, clean clothes and floors, and even with photo albums that depict our times together, I am slowly, but surely, day by day, creating an environment that is warmer and warmer.

September 3, 2009 By Belinda 5 Comments

Recently, a follower of mine “tweeted” (twittered? Twitted?) a link to a homeschool conference video. The particular topic of the video was, “What did Your Kids Teach You this Past Homeschool Year?”

As humbling a thought as this is for many of us who pour hours (not to mention dollars!) into curriculum and who sweat over flawless execution of our plans, it is very real. I should correct myself: it is very real if we are willing to step out of self and embrace the fact that we are not the only vessel through which education can flow. So, I thought about my own year, and what my children taught me. At first, the answers were superficial, and I almost felt silly. Yet, a spirit willing to learn something new led me to delve deeper, and I was left with such a spine-chilling sense of purpose until I thought it might bless you, too. This is what my kids taught me last year, and each year, for that matter:

Patience is not just a virtue; it is life and breath to your home environment. Whether you are entering year 1 of your homeschooling journey or year 101, it is your journey. Though some will take it as their personal responsibility to tell you what you should do, where you should be, and how you should have gotten there, what will be most important is to create an environment where your children can learn. Set goals, even stretch goals, but be open to your children’s needs, their challenges, and the way that they learn best. You will gain far more this way than by following a strict list of have-to’s.

Field trips in-the-moment can be very effective, but on a budget, a living book will free both the body and the mind. Not too long ago, our own trial with temporary unemployment during this recession left me somewhat depressed about all of the trips and tours we did not take this year. As an aside, our area offers a number of free/ low-cost trips and tours, but I prefer an in-the-moment excursion that enhances our current studies to a field trip just for the sake of a field trip. This means that our field trips often take us away from our immediate area and require planning and budgeting. We were not able to do that this past year—a real source of frustration and anguish for the way that I like to educate. Yet, one of my favorite bloggers described best what can happen when we experience learning through quality literature:

‘Music, art, animals, nature, politics, literature, poetry, equations, Rome, Iceland, Ireland, the moors, the sea, metropolises, machinery, the universe, the past, the poor, royalty, Heaven and earth…you name it, they have dipped their hands in the chest and pulled out something of value as they have explored truth and beauty in the world around them.’
From LindaFay’s HigherUp and Further In, “Ask and it Shall be Given You,” May 25, 2009

Taming the tongue is harder than taming a lion. This applies not only to how we speak to our children, but also to the negative self-talk we fall prey to when things are not going well. Once those plans go awry, it becomes easy to embrace what others might have said in a moment of sheer brainlessness:

“Maybe you aren’t cut out for this.”
“I’ll never be able to…” (or worse, thought about our children:) “You’ll never be able to…”

Come against the attack of the enemy, confess what the Lord says about you and your children, and step out on His renewed grace and mercy.

It may be the song of an unfamiliar bird, not the travels of Odysseus, that inspires a child to explore and discover. The end result is the same. I love to plan. I get excited about planning the way that some women get excited at a shopping mall or a lady’s night out. But, I realize—though it took some time—that plans can sometimes get in the way of what I really want the homeschool experience to produce in our children: a natural yearning to know more, to grow more, and to be more. When the kids run to the field guide to identify a stranger at our feeder, or launch into a discussion about some historical event or character (when I want them to do something else), this, too, is learning. Just because it was not written on my outline does not belittle the value of a purposeful diversion or its power to catapult their interests and overall education.

When you cannot feel God’s hand in your plans, trust His heart. Jeremiah conveyed it to us so very well, and my words will never be as eloquent as the Word of God:

For I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

May God bless you and quicken your spirits to the lessons He wants you to teach, as well as the lesson he wants your young ones to teach you.

August 4, 2009 By Belinda 2 Comments

I once read a great article by Diane Flynn Keith entitled “7 Dumb Mistakes Smart People Make When They Homeschool and How to Avoid Them.” The article really struck home with me in areas where I’ve been, and some areas in which I insist on returning, despite my best efforts. For copyright’s sake, I won’t post the entire article here, but I will share her list of mistakes:

Unrealistic expectations (or no expectations) regarding yearly or daily goals
Over-scheduling & under-scheduling
Ignoring child feedback
Overspending
Isolation
Thinking you can do it all
Striving to convince everyone else that they, too, should homeschool

Like I said, I could preach a sermon on all but #4, and I’m good enough to even get an offering on #s 2 and 6. The reason that I’ve not been guilty of overspending, at least not yet, is more of a function of the method I chose for homeschooling than any well thought-out savings strategy. One great benefit I’ve always enjoyed about Charlotte Mason’s principles is that there isn’t a lot of curriculum to buy if you play your cards right. I have used as a mantra that quote I heard early in my journey about ‘all you need to homeschool is a Bible, a math book, and a library card.’

As a curriculum developer and self-publisher, I am not condemning the idea of packaged curriculum. To be clear, bought curriculum is the unofficial, yet official mark of a homeschooler. Think about it: how wealthy would you be if you had a dollar for each time another homeschooling parent stopped and asked you, “So, what curriculum do you use?” Moreover, there are wonderful homeschool-friendly products available from parents who have traveled the same path and appreciate the roses, and thorns, along the journey. Where would the homeschooling movement be without this type of ingenuity?

For me personally, as I pray and do the homework regarding what to buy, I have a couple of homeschooling jewels that I often refer back to, especially at the year’s end when I’m beginning to think about the years to come.

Jewel #1 on buying curriculum: consider the following questions:

Is this something I can teach without a curriculum?
Am I attracted to the content, or the packaging and promotion?
What do the reviews say about it?
Finally, this one is my favorite: buy books instead of buying “stuff ”.

Jewel #2: get stuck in a rut.

Yes, that’s right. I said do get stuck in a rut. Although our routine has had some variance over the years—an extra workbook here or different teaching element there—we have stuck, pretty much, to the same schedule and basic subjects each year. So, without additional prep work (besides my own), our children know what is expected of them each day of the week. Unless we have an interruption (a field trip, travel, or unplanned event), they can sit and complete their work whether I’m around or not. Only once in our time at home was I too sick to get out of bed, but I was astonished and thrilled that the kids came downstairs and did everything they were supposed to do, only consulting me if they had questions.

Routines are just what the name suggests—routine, boring, and monotonous. I can, however, offer the carrot in front of this ho-hum horse. As a college instructor, I reach out to students each day who are having a less-than successful start in post-secondary studies. In some cases, they are simply not college material. However, in many cases, they are bright learners who could have an academically successful experience, but they lack the skills to be good students—discipline, time management, and concentration. As much as we hate to admit it, these are the roles we often play as parents in the homeschool.

So the question becomes, how do we help our kids transition to do these things themselves? Cutting them off cold turkey after 12th grade doesn’t work in many cases, so we have to create an environment for certain habits to form. Moreover, those habits must form in us first. We can’t lead where we aren’t willing to go; how dare we expect children who can manage themselves when we present ourselves as flighty and undisciplined. School can still be filled with love and laughter, but think about and certainly pray about making it boring enough for your children to learn to discipline and manage their lives.

Again, these nuggets have been invaluable for me as we progress through the years. Prayerfully, they will bless you, too.