Debra | Heart of the Matter

August 12, 2010 By Debra 9 Comments

I’m thumbing through a full composition book packed with notes, lists and ideas that date back to the very first days of homeschooling my firstborn son. It spans 8 years of conferences, the bullet points of 4 different states’ homeschooling laws, and grade level ideas for Preschool through 6th grade.

It’s my very favorite resource to turn to for ideas and encouragement and for recalling what I set out to do in the first place.

Do you have a notebook like this? A book full of nuggets of wisdom, planning, scribbles, notes to yourself, lists of books to buy or skip, and memories – lots of memories?

Before I move into a new notebook this month I take time to review the contents of the first one and remember the feelings and challenges I had at every stage: as I began, persevered and then customized our homeschooling.

Thumbing past the very first page – the list of the alphabet and how we would cover each construction paper letter with things that started with that sound — and glancing through my lists of early reading activities, curriculum to explore, and educational books to buy (including Tobias, Bennett, Duffy, Klicka and Quine) I find the notes from my first conference in California in 2003.

This SCOPE conference was where Jessica Hulcey asked me point blank, “What is your philosophy of education?” I looked at her blankly and said, “Well, my son is only four. I don’t really know.” She snickered and excused me from answering the question and asked another workshop attendee who sweated out an answer. I took copious notes from Jessica who said, “You’re teaching a child, not a curriculum,” “Growing brains are shaped by experiences,” and “Cover the bases in the morning.” At the same conference, Jennifer Steward inspired me in the way of Unit Studies. She said, “If it’s there and natural, teach it,” and I’ve never looked back.

Next in the notebook I find the first unit I ever planned (kittens), ideas for teaching about the Fourth of July, literature units, and a failed attempt at tracking with Five in a Row (I returned it to the publisher). At my second conference, this time in Oregon, Greg Harris and Carol Barnier were the featured speakers. Carol said, “take writing out of everything but writing,” and that I needed to “find the way his mind works.” I’ve been doing just that ever since.

A turn of the page brings me to Sono Harris’ workshop and, due to her recent passing, I pause here to re-read her wisdom. She identified some of the negative feelings homeschool mom’s encounter: loneliness and isolation, weariness, frustration and disappointment. She said to “let our difficulties be opportunities for God to work for and through you.”

Sono said that “parent/child relationships are not for ease and happiness but are the context for the change God works in and through us… God is working in you and you may not be cooperating yet.” I can still feel how my toes felt (gratefully) stepped on by her gracious message.

The pages reveal my angst over my son’s “glitches” based on the copious notes from Judy Russell who spoke on neurodevelopmental methods that could help him. My feelings of relief are all over my notes from Becky DeVelle whose IEW vendor workshop wowed me with the reality that “It’s okay to tell them what to write.” And Diana Waring obviously inspired me with her creative, learning-style sensitive approach to teaching history because I barely took any notes, enraptured by her magnetic and warm personality.

The notebook goes on and on with field trip ideas, books for me to read, a phone number for my homeschooling friend Hillary (how have you been?), “drawings” from my second two-year old son, and thoughts on how school will change in our move to Colorado. It is filled to the end with notes from Doug Phillips, Joyce Herzog, more Diana, Jay Wile, Todd Wilson, Jeannie Fulbright, Voddie Bauchum, more Carol, Jan Bloom, Andrew Pudewa and more.

If you don’t have a notebook like this, I encourage you to start one. Get everything in one place so you can turn to it again and again and see how your journey has progressed, how you have grown, and how God has met your every need as you’ve plodded forward.

As C.S. Lewis wrote in Out of the Silent Planet, “A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking… as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing. … What you call remembering is the last part of the pleasure.” Take joy in where you’ve come from because it’s gotten you where you are. Then, keep listening for the words of wisdom yet to come and take note of them.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 11 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education, is married to her pastor-husband of 16 years, and resides in their newish home in Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated her boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

July 7, 2010 By Debra 4 Comments

This fall I am anticipating the beginning of learning lessons with my soon-to-be-four-year -old. When his two older brothers were each three I began doing intentional learning activities with them. But, when this son, my youngest, turned three I felt pulled in too many directions to do more than point him to a drawer of activities to choose from.

However, this fall I know I’ll be ready and he’s, of course, more than ready for more. A warm feeling envelops my fingers as they peruse my well-used box of preschool lessons: The tactile feathers, dried cereal, and sandy glitter. The sweet writing attempts; the haphazard shapes glued to faded construction paper. It’s a precious time of remembering when my older guys were that young. And looking forward to one more preschooler — his abundance of energy, his thirst for knowledge, his whimsical ideas – motivates and inspires both my teacher heart and my mommy heart. We are in for some precious times together.

I can’t wait to revisit things that start with ‘P’, collecting items from around the house and placing them in the mouth of the letter monster he made from a laundry detergent box. I’m eager to read all the books about apples and pumpkins and turkeys we can find this fall and do the flannel board activities I lovingly cut out so many years ago. Once again, I get to spend time on fun websites like Kinderart, First-School, and 123child. I’m so glad they’re still around! There are so many things I’m looking forward to doing one more time… one last time.

Most of all, however, I’m interested in deeply knowing this youngest little man of mine; the child who has so patiently waited for my attention. I’ll remind myself of my own advice, relax with him, really listen to his responses and ideas, let him work “outside the box” and enjoy getting to know his personality inside and out. I get the honor of doing this one more time. It was absolutely worth the wait.

June 21, 2010 By Debra 2 Comments

I grew up in the evangelical American church. I was active my youth group, I was a leader in my campus ministry in college, I even earned a seminary degree. All of these programs taught me prayer patterns and emphasized that certain times of the day were superior for prayer habits. I practiced within these guidelines for many years and believed that as I did so, I was communing with God.

Perhaps I was, for that time, but things changed.

My children arrived and those unpredictable little people had a way of turning any routine upside-down, of putting my priorities on hold and of decidedly disrupting quiet. Needless to say, I fell out of the habit of praying specifically and regularly.

I didn’t stop. I just stopped the patterns. But all my years of Christian devotional training still internally scolded me for slacking.

Between our second and third child our family went through a long period of upheaval and uncertainty. We ended up having to wait several years for God to move in our lives and as we waited and cried out to him I noticed my prayer life changed again. I prayed more though I couldn’t do it alone, or immersed in quiet, or even for more than a minute. And though it seemed like less, it actually was more.

In this time, I learned to turn my concerns over to God as soon as they entered my mind. I directed to Him my short, pointed requests and thanks. At times, all I could manage was to silently be in his presence and allow him to move through my inner being to heal, change and move me. Day by day, I let the Spirit within me groan on my behalf to the Father. I grew to depend on this kind of prayer, especially on the days when the weight of waiting felt unbearable. “God, am I doing this right?” “Can you change my heart right now?” “Will you inspire me with a creative solution?” “Please, please speak.” “Help.”

I felt like a drowning woman gasping for breath. I knew I was groping for God in the most primitive and raw way. Yet, despite all of my years of faith and training in discipleship, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him any other way. Hour by hour, I simply kept casting all my cares upon him.

I don’t know when I first realized that I had moved from a prescriptive form of prayer to a transformative form of prayer, but I had, indeed, crossed over into that realm of what Paul calls, “praying continually.” Years ago, following Paul’s command seemed impossible. But now, it’s simply the way I think and breathe.

Praying continually has forever changed the way I approach the Father. I don’t feel any guilt for leaving the patterns of prayer behind. Instead, I feel freed and empowered to not only talk to God at every whim, but to be continually mindful of his presence, working and compassion even when I’m not in the midst of crisis. What I needed then and still need today is communion with God. And in my desperation I found it.

May 17, 2010 By Debra 4 Comments

What?! You mean there are people who actually do that? Yes. There are.

In fact, globally, homeschoolers are not a homogeneous group. There are families that homeschool one child while sending another elsewhere for their education. Some school them at home all the way through high school and some choose to encourage their children’s education through outside mentors, teachers and classes. There are benefits to every way depending on your family make-up, tenacity, personalities, health, locations, hardships, goals, freedoms, worldview, needs, and support. But when a family comes to a point of wanting or needing to stop their homeschooling efforts there is little support out there for them.

Families who choose to desist schooling at home are not failures. They have not “given up.” They count the cost of stopping just as sincerely as they counted the cost of beginning in the first place.

I know this, because we are one of those families. In the fall, my oldest son whom I’ve homeschooled “from the beginning” will be going to a small charter school that, I believe, will challenge and enrich him in fabulous ways. Our younger two boys will continue to learn at home. There is a peace about how our family is developing and the opportunities God is giving us. But I feel a bit of the sting from the homeschooling world for our choice. Even so, I’m proceeding in the way I believe my family should go.

If you plan to stop homeschooling, I am here to support you as you find your new legs. Here are a few tips to think through as you process all of your thoughts and emotions.

1. Give attention to your hesitations; explore them. God speaks to us in all different kinds of ways. If you honestly can’t say you love homeschooling anymore, if you’re consistently frustrated, if you’ve tried changing curriculums, plugging into a support group, exploring your family’s learning styles, taking care of yourself, and if you’ve held onto homeschooling loosely so that God can do with it what he will, then keep listening. If the thought of doing this for one more year inwardly gives you pause, those hesitations are telling you something.

2. Find a new solution that meets all of your family’s needs. Will the new structure cater to your child’s learning style and personality? How will the schedule disrupt your family’s day-to-day routine? What adjustments and preparations will need to be made if you’re making a change? Consider everyone’s needs (including your own). If you feel like you’re sacrificing someone’s needs for the needs of another, keep considering other alternatives. This is a whole-family shift. Don’t force it, but welcome the change when it reveals itself.

3. Let go of the voices in your head that said you were “supposed” to do this forever. The only mandate we really have is to love. Only you can know what God specifically wants for your family. God will often move us in different directions and take us through hard experiences. But if we stay in an ideology out of fear of the unknown then we remain slaves to that ideology. We should be constantly re-evaluating every year whether we do so with the intent of stopping or not. If stopping is where you peacefully land, then bravely let it be.

4. Make a choice you can justify. Not only will you have to live with your choice but you’ll also find yourself answering the new voices that will ask, “Why?” Let your rationale for stopping be as sound as your reasons were for starting. Include your kids in this so that you understand each other’s needs. Homeschooling served its purpose for a time. Don’t be ashamed of that. Starting in a new direction should be done so with a resolute foundation.

5. Consider who you are outside of being a homeschool mom. If you are not going to continue at all, you will encounter a mammoth identity shift. Be comfortable, even excited, about who you will become. No one is encouraging you to abandon your children. Even as we daily walk beside them we are always living out our God-given identities, both as their mother and as His daughter or son. Continue confidently in your own journey of “becoming.” Your children will continue to take notice.

6. Stay involved. Stay really, really involved in your child’s education. Continue to be supportive, cheer your child on, help, pray and serve. Studies are clear that children whose parents are highly engaged in their education will have greater success.

Remember, you are not giving up; you are just changing paths.

It is my prayer that these thoughts would be well received by those who are desperately looking for grace in their decision. I pray that it spurs all of us on to encourage one another toward love and good deeds. I wish you peace in your next steps.

April 12, 2010 By Debra Leave a Comment

One would think that giving a little oral quiz combined with a bean-bag toss game might be fun for young students. However, if your young students are perfectionists (like one of mine) or have a skewed…er…acute sense of justice and fairness (like my other one) then you’ll agree immediately that this is a set-up for disaster.

As unit study folks, when we come to the end of our topic we like to find a fun way to run through our factual knowledge. I’ve tried independent quizzes both with and without rewards. I’ve tried family incentives. I’ve added fun elements like throwing paper airplanes through hoops, completing a tic-tac-toe game and the aforementioned bean-bag toss for points for every right answer given. I’ve tapped my creative resources and teacher friends for ideas on how to discover what my kids were taking away from the study, what we need to hit again in a different way and what they were most excited about.

Everything ended in melt-downs. One child was mad that he didn’t answer all the questions right or throw all the darts exactly into the bulls-eye. The other child was mad that his brother answered a question that he couldn’t think of in a reasonable amount of time. Someone was always spied stepping over the line mid-toss. And if the score wasn’t exactly even at the end then no one was happy. None of the purposes for this end-of-unit review were being met.

Granted, there are other issues at the heart of competitiveness — and we’re having continual conversations about bitterness versus love – but in a very practical sense I needed something that would play out in their lives with some success. I hoped to find something I could point to and say, “Remember when you did this thing and you realized how fun it was to work together and cheer one another on?”

After 8 years of homeschooling, 4 years schooling multiple students I’ve finally found a solution for doing this without the boys pitting themselves against one another.

First, we have to have a mutual goal. I formerly thought that our mutual goal would be to test ourselves and have fun. (Sorry, Mom, but that’s not an attainable goal for these elementary siblings.) Our goal is now to solve a puzzle that will give everyone some enjoyment. I simply glance over our family calendar for things that interest both of them (“You get to play with Joe and Mark this weekend.”), write it out in letter-by-letter blanks and have them guess the letters hangman-style. This even works with my 8 year old reluctant, dyslexic reader.

Secondly, we have to disallow anything that could be determined to be injustice. This means one brother cannot answer another brother’s question. My solution is to ask the question in a different way a few questions later. No one seems to notice.

Furthermore, there are rules for me: I cannot couch two questions into one question (we agree that this is point-for-point) and I can only draw my questions from their unit study notebooks. No fair pulling things out of the air that they should naturally connect with what we learned — not for this assessment anyway.

Our game play is simple: All questions are asked orally and for every two questions he answers correctly, he gets to guess a letter in our puzzle. This lets me quiz them on all their unit knowledge before they solve the puzzle.

This method has worked perfectly for me two units in a row now and I couldn’t be happier that my boys have ended well, worked together, and had fun. I know where their knowledge gaps are, and my sons are still friends at the end of the day. Now…to figure out how to get their work done before 4:00.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 10 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and is married to her true-companion pastor-husband in their home of Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

March 4, 2010 By Debra 7 Comments

I am a huge goal maker. My birthday comes on the heels of New Year’s Eve and so I spend several quiet winter nights reflecting on the past and projecting on the new year. This year as I journaled my thoughts I knew something needed to change… in me.

Honestly, I am at the edge of determining whether or not to continue this homeschooling journey. It’s simply not going the way I want it to go, not producing what I want it to produce. I am weary and worn and so are my boys. I know that I can’t continue doing the same thing and expect a different result. Albert Einstein called that “insanity.”

So, things must change.

An illustration gave me a shove in the right direction. If you imagine your life as a wheel with a hub and spokes, what would you say is at your hub? I nailed it right from the beginning: homeschooling has become my hub. It’s what I write and blog about, it’s how I define what I do when people ask. It snuck in there and became my center from which everything else springs.

Let me tell you this: there is simply no strength in homeschooling and certainly not a sufficient amount to hold up every other aspect of life.

No wonder I feel like I’m collapsing.

I know that my hub needs to be my faith in Christ. I’ve grown up in the church. I’ve been through seminary. I’m married to a pastor for goodness sake. I feel stupid to have forgotten that. But I did. Homeschooling is only a spoke in my life, just like writing, ministering and mothering. I cannot make a decision about our future of homeschooling with a skewed center. So, I’m looking forward to putting things right again this season and to get back to balanced thinking.

If things aren’t going well for you then map out your own “wheel.” Honestly, what is at your hub? What spins your life wheel and where does your power come from? If it only comes from you then you may find yourself questioning the rest of your year as well. Move that incapable center off to the spokes and get on to driving the rest of your year with grace and truth.

February 28, 2010 By Debra 2 Comments

When my first son was born, some family friends sent us a gift celebrating his arrival. These two women, both classroom teachers, blessed us with My Very First Mother Goose by Iona Opie and Rosemary Wells and the Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. They were both read over and over with my first son, my second and now with my third. Of all my resources, this gift shaped my parenting more than any other.

We began reading aloud to our children long before we ever dreamed we’d homeschool them. It simply became – and is – how we parent.

Photo Credit: Heidi, Mt Hope Academy

There are a ton of great reasons to read aloud to your children. We read aloud in our home, not just because we’re “doing school,” but because we want to spend quality time with our boys, to introduce them to worlds and people they may never have an opportunity to experience, and to shape their minds and worldviews.

Simply stated, we have a genuine agenda.

First, I read aloud to my boys for the quality time it creates. When we experience books together we walk together into a setting, interact with a character, or sort through a conflict in an objective way that creates family understanding. We find out things about one another (“What would you do if you were in this position?”), we share the same fears (“Is Aslan really dead?”), and we hope, laugh and “see” the world differently. As my boys get older our natural interests intersect a little less. Reading with them helps present new touch points through which we can share life.

Modeling the reading process is next on my agenda. My middle son is a reluctant reader and very likely dyslexic. He needs to hear how the language sounds so he can store words away in his head. He needs to hear the rhythm of sentences and what you should do when you encounter periods, commas and parentheses. He needs to hear me stop and ask rhetorical questions about the plot. And he needs to hear me stumble on words and go back and sound them out just like I’m teaching him to do.

Thirdly, as a unit-study teacher I always try to find read-alouds that tie in with what we’re currently thinking about. For example, we’ll be doing a unit on the ocean soon so I’m looking forward to pulling out Call it Courage by Armstrong Perry. We’re also planning an animal unit this year and I’m thinking about trying to read Rascal by Sterling North without crying. For my boys these books will both flesh-out our study topic and fulfill their love of adventure, action and information.

The fourth item on my agenda is to familiarize my boys to matters they may never experience: The Dustbowl, Hurricane Mitch, the fall of the Berlin wall. I don’t try to shelter them from unsettling characters or situations. These things merely become talking points for us as we move through the book. I present them with books that will broaden their views of how this shaken world works and we talk about what they might do to bring some good into it.

Relational modeling ranks high on my agenda as well. Because they don’t have sisters, I am interested in exposing my boys to female protagonists thereby giving them a little insight into the mind of a woman. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi ranked high for my oldest son this year and a few years ago, both of my older boys enjoyed the Sarah, Plain and Tall Series. Similarly, because one of my sons is a little socially aloof, books introduce him to questionable social choices (such as in The Great Brain by John D. Fitzgerald) and let him vicariously maneuver through them. Ultimately, because I’m human and I don’t know how to show them every facet of what love looks like, I find stories that can unpack this word a little more. For instance, The Family Under the Bridge by Natalie Savage Carlson was a great example of love through self-sacrifice that touched us all.

While I don’t go searching for books strictly for their moral lessons, every book will have them. Sometimes I stop reading and say, “That’s interesting. Why do you think he suffered/overcame?” But many times I simply read through the chapter without stopping just to let it simmer in my boys’ heads for a bit. This allows the boys to connect the dots themselves. If they come up with an idea or develop a conviction on their own then it is far more likely to stick with them than if I always tell them the decisions they should make. The characters will either lead them to the right conclusion or they will see the consequences of poor choices played out in the story. We’ve never been at a loss for moral discussion starters… discussions often started by my boys.

Finally, I read aloud to my boys because it is “easy work” for them. If we don’t do anything else during the day, we read aloud and not just for the academic benefits of language acquisition skills, comprehension, science facts or social studies timelines. The skills of thinking, feeling, listening and coming to a new understanding are what will take them through life and reading aloud will do all of these things for their hearts and minds.

Photo Credit: Melissa, A Familiar Path

My sons are 10, almost 8 and 3 and a half. Because my audience is solely male I have to admit I have skipped some great books that cater to female readers. But, in contrast we have read some great stories that I…being female…never would have picked up on my own.

Here is a short list of some of our favorites.

Our Very Favorite Read Alouds
The Sign of the Beaver by Elizabeth George Speare
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
From the Mixed of Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg
Bandit’s Moon by Sid Fleishman
My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
Pedro’s Journal by Pam Conrad
Poetry by Shel Silverstein

Our Favorite Read Alouds in a Series
Heroes Biographies by YWAM Publishing
The Wall Series by Robert Elmer
Detective Zack by Jerry D. Thomas
The Time Warp Trio by Jon Scieszka
The Magic Tree House by Mary Pope Osborne
The Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks

Favorite Read Alouds for a Discerning Boy
Swiss Family Robinson by Johann D. Wyss
Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Twenty One Balloons by William Pene du Bois

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 10 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and is married to her true-companion pastor-husband in their home of Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

January 21, 2010 By Debra 6 Comments

Describing my middle son has always been easy for me. He has a good amount of healthy determination. He is a problem solver and loves a physical challenge. When he’s with peers he watches them for a bit and then picks a good one to become friends with. He’s an inventor and a builder. He’s sensitive and compassionate.

And we’ve just figured out that he’s dyslexic.

While I don’t think his dyslexia is severe, it consistently gets in his way: he talked late, he uses nebulous words like “things” and “stuff” when he tries to describe things, spelling is hit-or-miss, and reading has been a very slow going process.

After reading up on this learning disability I have found out many things about its inner workings. But what’s really been made clear to me is not the severity of my son’s weaknesses but the abundance of his strengths. I’m learning that he relies heavily on context in order to understand meaning. I’m also learning that this applies to more than just words.

He understands his entire world by noting its context. He solves problems by considering the situation and calling upon his prior knowledge. He chooses friends by first noting their character. He knows how to serve others by picking up on their emotional cues. He can even find all the lost things in our house just by paying close attention to his environment. These traits demonstrate his genius ability to create sense and purpose out of the world in ways that don’t require reading. However, when it does come time to read, he perseveres through it just like any other problem he encounters, by fitting together everything he knows until it all makes sense.

I am amazed at the remarkable strengths this “disability” brings out in him – intuitiveness, creativity, and empathy among them. This new knowledge about my son doesn’t disappoint me in the slightest because I’m confident he has all the skills he’ll need to create a purposeful and fulfilling life in the years ahead. We’ll just cheer him on no matter how long it takes him to get there.

Debra Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 15 years and has three sons ages 10 and younger. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and recently moved to a new home and a new co-op in the Denver metro area. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

December 11, 2009 By Debra Leave a Comment

I love that my kids are growing up in a world that leaves room for possibility. There are fewer hard-and-fast rules about who should grow up to do what and this leaves room for my boys to explore things that may not be viewed as masculine.

Case #1 My middle son loves to cook with me. If I’m in the kitchen he wants to know if he can help cut, stir, flip, taste or mash. I love that he’s comfortable in this part of life.

Case #2 Both of my older boys enjoy hand-stitching. In fact, my oldest, who can be highly frustratable and explosive, just sat down for a quiet hour and stitched a Christmas gift. He’s discovered how soothing sewing can be and how gratifying it is to make something with his hands. I couldn’t be more pleased.

Case #3 My kids see my husband model equality around the home. My husband chips in with the dishes, the de-cluttering, the laundry… you name it. My boys don’t have any sisters to shove this “women’s work” off onto so I am very grateful that their dad models a loving, servant’s heart for them. I can only see it working for good in their future families as it does in mine.

Since they are home educated I don’t have to worry about them gleaning unhelpful information about gender roles from mis-informed peers. So, when it comes to their academics, I try to infuse their learning with possibility. Here are a few ways I work to diffuse gender stereotypes in our learning:

History: If we study famous men of Colorado we’ll also study famous women and go on a field trip to the home of the first woman doctor in our state.

Reading: As we complete read-alouds I switch between works with male and female protagonists so they can learn to relate to both.

Biographies: When we look at accomplished individuals we not only consider Bill Gates and Albert Einstein, but Anne Sullivan and Queen Elizabeth.

Science: I teach them that all of nature is interdependent. Nothing is above anything else in importance. Even the smallest creatures have very big purposes.

My three boys love football, martial arts, Legos, wrestling, fireworks, skateparks and all things loud and boisterous so I have no fear that I’m “sissifying” them. But I am glad that because they are schooled at home I have first crack at instilling this vision of possibility in their lives. Not only does it give me a point of personal connection with them, but it allows them to see the world through the eyes of God, as a whole creation that is worth redeeming.

Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 15 years and has three sons under age 10. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and is a new resident of the Denver metro area. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at Emergent Homeschool.

October 8, 2009 By Debra Leave a Comment

Since I didn’t grow up in a liturgical church setting I had little exposure to the Western church calendar and all the celebrations that surround it. As my own little family has learned about Advent, Lent and Holy Week we have tried to observe them in ways that make them meaningful in our context. Our annual traditions grow closer to the intent all the time though our methods can, admittedly, be a bit quirky.

Several years ago I was stumped over the meaning that Epiphany could hold for my family. Epiphany, on January 6th, is a traditional Christian celebration that marks the 12th day of Christmas and observes the arrival of the wise men to the house where young Jesus was staying. It also commemorates the introduction of Jesus to the Gentiles; the kings were not Jews but were visitors from the East. At the core, it’s an open invitation for all people, who seek the Christ, to find him.

As I looked into it I found that some family traditions included a special cake, a house blessing, annual reflections on how God was at work, the completion of the crèche or homemade boxes lined with hay in which to receive small gifts. These were all very appealing, but didn’t quite hit the spot for us as we navigated this day for the first time.

I wanted to interpret this day for my boys in a way that made it special without turning it into another gift-giving opportunity. The ideas of seeking and finding and of going on a resolute journey stood out to me. These seemed like tangible things for young boys to take hold of.

Our tradition for Epiphany now looks like this: On January 6th, we read the story from Matthew 2 and finish our nativity scene by adding the wise men while removing the shepherds. And then, as we have done every year since, we go Geocaching.

While this may seem like a toss out of left field, my children love the activity. It gives them the chance to plug a destination (coordinates) into our handheld GPS and follow the directions until we come close to the cache (a hidden treasure box of trinkets). This is when the real search begins as the cache can be very well hidden within that last 10 feet. There is rejoicing when we find it and we tear into it excitedly, writing our names in the log and exchanging the trinkets we brought for a charm we find inside. There are so many teachable little moments in this activity. It’s not a perfect metaphor, but for young, kinesthetic learners, it’s a hit.

The holidays have so many extra dressings that tend to weigh me down. This off-the-beaten-path activity lets our family peel away the extraneous and looks afresh at the core, the gift of hope given to us through Jesus. If you want to try geocaching with your own family you can get started at www.geocaching.com. Let your own epiphanic journey begin.

Heart of the Matter

Connect With Us

Sponsors

Recent Posts

Announcements

HOTM on Facebook

Archives

What You Are Saying