Homeschooling is Not the Hub

March 4, 2010 by Debra

I am a huge goal maker. My birthday comes on the heels of New Year’s Eve and so I spend several quiet winter nights reflecting on the past and projecting on the new year. This year as I journaled my thoughts I knew something needed to change… in me.

Honestly, I am at the edge of determining whether or not to continue this homeschooling journey. It’s simply not going the way I want it to go, not producing what I want it to produce. I am weary and worn and so are my boys. I know that I can’t continue doing the same thing and expect a different result. Albert Einstein called that “insanity.”

So, things must change.

An illustration gave me a shove in the right direction. If you imagine your life as a wheel with a hub and spokes, what would you say is at your hub? I nailed it right from the beginning: homeschooling has become my hub. It’s what I write and blog about, it’s how I define what I do when people ask. It snuck in there and became my center from which everything else springs.

Let me tell you this: there is simply no strength in homeschooling and certainly not a sufficient amount to hold up every other aspect of life.

No wonder I feel like I’m collapsing.

I know that my hub needs to be my faith in Christ. I’ve grown up in the church. I’ve been through seminary. I’m married to a pastor for goodness sake. I feel stupid to have forgotten that. But I did. Homeschooling is only a spoke in my life, just like writing, ministering and mothering. I cannot make a decision about our future of homeschooling with a skewed center. So, I’m looking forward to putting things right again this season and to get back to balanced thinking.

If things aren’t going well for you then map out your own “wheel.” Honestly, what is at your hub? What spins your life wheel and where does your power come from? If it only comes from you then you may find yourself questioning the rest of your year as well. Move that incapable center off to the spokes and get on to driving the rest of your year with grace and truth.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 10 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and is married to her true-companion pastor-husband in their home of Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

Tags: balancing homeschool life, christian living, Encouragement, faith, finding balance, homeschool discouragement, Homeschool Support, Homeschooling Doubts

Reading Aloud to Boys

February 28, 2010 by Debra

Admiring My Dyslexic Son

January 21, 2010 by Debra

6 Comments

Describing my middle son has always been easy for me. He has a good amount of healthy determination. He is a problem solver and loves a physical challenge. When he’s with peers he watches them for a bit and then picks a good one to become friends with. He’s an inventor and a builder. He’s sensitive and compassionate.

And we’ve just figured out that he’s dyslexic.

While I don’t think his dyslexia is severe, it consistently gets in his way: he talked late, he uses nebulous words like “things” and “stuff” when he tries to describe things, spelling is hit-or-miss, and reading has been a very slow going process.

After reading up on this learning disability I have found out many things about its inner workings. But what’s really been made clear to me is not the severity of my son’s weaknesses but the abundance of his strengths. I’m learning that he relies heavily on context in order to understand meaning. I’m also learning that this applies to more than just words.

He understands his entire world by noting its context. He solves problems by considering the situation and calling upon his prior knowledge. He chooses friends by first noting their character. He knows how to serve others by picking up on their emotional cues. He can even find all the lost things in our house just by paying close attention to his environment. These traits demonstrate his genius ability to create sense and purpose out of the world in ways that don’t require reading. However, when it does come time to read, he perseveres through it just like any other problem he encounters, by fitting together everything he knows until it all makes sense.

I am amazed at the remarkable strengths this “disability” brings out in him – intuitiveness, creativity, and empathy among them. This new knowledge about my son doesn’t disappoint me in the slightest because I’m confident he has all the skills he’ll need to create a purposeful and fulfilling life in the years ahead. We’ll just cheer him on no matter how long it takes him to get there.

Debra Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 15 years and has three sons ages 10 and younger. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and recently moved to a new home and a new co-op in the Denver metro area. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

Tags: creativity, dyslexia, homeschooling, learning disabilities, Teaching a Dyslexic

Gender Non-Specific

December 11, 2009 by Debra

Our Family Tradition: Epiphany Geocaching

October 8, 2009 by Debra

If I Was Starting Over Again

September 17, 2009 by Debra

9 Comments

I had the chance to talk with a friend across the country who is pulling her son out of school and beginning their homeschooling journey today. She had so many questions — questions I was asking my veteran homeschooling friends 8 or 9 years ago.

It made me think about what I would do differently if I were beginning again.

1. I would read up on learning styles a bit more. Back then I think I went to a single workshop that gave me an overview of learning styles. It was in that workshop that I realized my visual, kinesthetic, explosive learner was going to shrivel up and die if I bought that workbook-based curriculum I had saved up for. I’m grateful for that workshop, but now I would go back and learn a little more.

2. I would guide our methods with broader brush strokes. The details tended to be the triggers that pushed my son and I into power struggles. We had enough hurdles in front of us in the beginning. I’m sure I added a few more just because of my, “I’m the teacher, that’s why.” attitude. If the overall concept was addressed, the method should have been more flexible.

3. I would totally and utterly trust all those friends who said, “Forget about testing.” For me, academics can easily take precedence over building a trusting relationship with my son. I would go back and evaluate each concept with a new perspective: what will most effectively reach his heart and mind today? Now, I know that if he trusts me then he will more easily move toward greater academic excellence.

4. I would begin with the child. I was fairly focused on finding the right curriculum (which is, of course, important). I wasn’t so much concerned with setting up “school at home” but I was concerned that our days would be content-rich. I’ve learned since then to let my children give real input into the direction our studies take us. I see now that their ownership over their own education is like gold.

Naturally, there are some things that I’m glad I did from the beginning – letting my son move, providing lessons in short “bites,” taking writing out of everything but writing, letting him choose what activity we would do next, and waiting for him to indicate an interest in an area (like learning cursive) before I saddled him with it. But we live and we learn. And I fully expect that I’ll look back on this, my son’s sixth grade year, and think “I should have done that differently.” It’s all part of the (my) learning process.

Tags: change, child-led homeschooling, flexibility in homeschooling, learning styles, starting to homeschool, testing

My Interactive Toolbox for Kids that Need to Move

September 2, 2009 by Debra

6 Comments

I have three boys. ALL of them need to move. So, for as long as I’ve been teaching I’ve had to continually come up with creative manipulatives, games that get them moving and something-other-than-a-workpage techniques to help them practice academic skills.

I recently pulled out a bag full of well-used homemade interactive teaching tools. I accumulated these ideas from all across the homeschooling world so I don’t know where they all originated from anymore. However, I thought I’d share some of them with you.

For Spelling Practice: The Room Scramble

This is a great way to practice unscrambling spelling words that are 12 letters or less. If you have longer words, you’ll simply need to draw more picture cards in Step #1. It works for children of all ages who like a little scavenger hunt.

1. Choose just one room in your house. On 12 blank index cards, draw 12 pictures of locations/items in that room where two index cards can easily be hidden together (under a trash can, in a basket, under a couch’s cushions, between the books on a shelf, etc). Take one more blank index card and draw a smiley face (or anything you like) with the words “The End” on it.

2. Take several other blank index cards and clearly write one letter on each card until you’ve used the entire alphabet. You may want to make extras of the b,c,d,e,f, etc. in case you are practicing words that use repeating letters. You may also choose to cut your cards into thirds or fourths to make smaller letter cards and save on supplies.

3. Choose a word you want your child to practice and pull out those letters from your letter card stack. Mix them up and hold onto these.

4. Choose one picture location card to begin with and set that aside. This is the only thing you’ll give to your child to begin their hunt when you’re ready.

5. Go to the location you drew on the first card that you have set aside. At that location you will hide a letter card and another picture location card.

6. Move to THAT location next (the one you just hid) and hide another letter card and the next picture card.

7. Keep doing this until you’ve used all the letters in the word. When you’ve hidden the last letter put your “End” card with it instead of another picture location card. This is how the child knows they have collected all the letters and they can begin to unscramble them.

8. Call your child back into the room and hand them that first picture location card that you set aside. They can then move from location to location collecting their letters. Once they find the “End” card they can bring all the letters to the table and unscramble them. If they are familiar with the spelling words for the week, this should be fairly simple and tons of fun.

9. Store all of your cards together so you can do this activity every week or as often as you like.

For Sentence Structure Practice: Card Connections

This helps young children practice the basic parts of a sentence: subject, predicate and complement.

1. Compose 10 complete sentences that use all three parts of a sentence listed above. (examples: The igloo / is made / of ice. OR Grandpa / plays / the guitar.)

2. Choose three colors of index cards. You’ll need 10 of each upon which to write out your parts of the sentence. You can cut your cards smaller to save on supplies. For instance: Subjects can be written on yellow cards, predicates on green cards and complements on blue cards. (example: “The igloo” and “Grandpa” would be written on yellow cards, “is made” and “plays” would be written on green cards, and “of ice” and “guitar” would be written on blue cards).

3. Mix them up and let the child put the all the sentences in the order that makes the most sense. You may need to help them read the cards. Make adjustments to the placement of the parts of the sentences as you go to get the best fit. However, it is funny when they determine that the correct sentence is “Grandpa is made of ice.”

For Matching Any Two Facts: Hop To It

This is a very kinesthetic way to review short facts, practice homonyms, states and capitals, foreign words and their meanings, or anything at all.

1. Cut out about 20 large symmetrical shapes, such as a heart or a diamond, from sturdy paper. Adhere a strip of clear packing tape across the front of the shape and then cut the shape down it’s line of symmetry so you have a mirror image that is easy for the child to visually connect back together.

2. Use a wipe off marker to write your matching facts on each set of shapes. If you’re practicing homonyms for instance, on the left side of the heart you’ll write “aunt” and on the right you’ll write “ant.” Continue until you’ve used all the facts you want to review.

3. Place all the left hand sides of the shape into an envelope and all the right hand sides of the shape into a different envelope.

4. When the child is ready, take one envelope’s contents and spread it across the floor so each piece can be easily seen.

5. Retrieve your other envelope, pull out the papers a piece at a time and read it to the child. They are to hop on its complementary piece on the floor and hand it to you to see if it’s a match.

6. Alternative Play. For an older child you can spread out all the shapes together and just let the child match them on their own.

7. Erase the words on each shape and use them again and again for anything you need to review.

For Categorizing (and Graphing): Feed the Seals (originated from Carol Barnier).

You can find the details of how to make ordinary envelopes turn into “seals” in the book, How to Get Your Child off the Refrigerator and on to Learning by Carol Barnier. You can also simplify the process and simply use envelopes and index cards. We have used this activity over and over for all kinds of activities: Rhyming words, syllable practice, true and false facts, etc.

1. Create your “seals” out of #10 office envelopes. Label them with a post it note or use a dry erase marker on a strip of packing tape. The point is to be able to reuse them again and again. Create your “fish” out of index cards cut in half or thirds if necessary. The index cards (fish) are simply placed (fed) into the envelope (seal) that is most appropriate.

2. For rhyming practice: If you have three seals label them with words like “far” “cap” and “drag”. Create your fish index cards by writing several more words that rhyme with the words you wrote on your seals. Mix them up. Have the child feed the rhyming words into the seal’s mouth.

3. For syllable practice: If you have three seals label them with the numbers 1, 2 and 3. Create your fish index cards by writing words with one, two or three syllables on them. Mix them up. Have the child feed the words into the correct seal’s mouth.

4. For true and false practice: If you have two seals label one “true” and one “false.” Create your fish index cards by writing true or false facts covering any area of study. Mix them up. Have the child feed the correct facts into the seals’ mouths.

5. Graphing Extension. You’ll need a sheet of graph paper and two or three colored markers. Once the child is done feeding all the fish to the seals, take the next step and have them create a bar graph depicting how many fish were in each seal’s mouth. Check their work and compare the amounts.

6. Imagine the possibilities!

Enjoy moving and learning with your children. A little bit of prep, using reusable materials, will give you plenty of wiggly learning options for years to come.

Tags: Creative Learning Games, graphing, homeschooling, interactive teaching tools, Learning Facts, manipulatives, spelling, Writing Sentences

How NOT to Talk to a Teacher

July 23, 2009 by Debra

2 Comments

There’s something about meeting a classroom teacher that makes me both nervous and excited. As an educator I love “talking shop,” but I also know that there are some presuppositions in both our minds that could get in the way of a beneficial conversation. I want to learn from them without revealing that there are days when I don’t think I know what I’m doing. I want to find out what their struggles are without sending the message that I don’t have any struggles at all. I want to get a feel for their take on education without turning the conversation into a philosophical debate. I often hedge on these conversations, yet I continue to seek them out. They are, after all, rich opportunities to learn about resources, ideas, methods and trends.

Now, I have several friends who are certified teachers working with all age levels. Depending on the setting in which I meet them I find that they react to my homeschooling with anything from complete skepticism to complete support. Naturally, I enjoy the latter more than the former so I have pinpointed several ways to glean from their teaching experiences without building walls between us.

1. Don’t enter the conversation with an “us vs. them” mentality. Homeschoolers can sometimes vilify institutional schools, but be aware that your average classroom (public or private school) teacher is no one’s enemy. If you ask them, you’ll likely find that they entered the profession in order to make a difference in the life of a child.[1] That is evidence of a beautiful heart so we shouldn’t stomp on it with presuppositions, righteous statistics or one-upmanship. Treat them with respect and they’ll often return it when they hear your story.

2. Don’t tip your hand right away. If the conversation is going to be beneficial to you both, then you need to find out a few things. How long have they been teaching? How many grade levels have they taught? Do they have any special needs students or inner city experiences? Are their students’ parents involved? Finding out about their experiences will help you be more compassionate toward them. And based on what you learn by asking questions, you can make a decision as to whether or not this is a teacher that you, yourself, can learn from.

3. Don’t be ignorant of current education statistics. I have heard homeschool leaders tout many blanket statements that may or may not be true about teachers’ agendas, their training, their classroom management, etc. I have also heard many teachers declare many “truisms” of homeschoolers that I personally have never experienced. It goes both ways, but it’s not right for either of us to do that. Be aware of what is really happening in education today (not 10 years ago) and you’ll find it easier to really listen. Check out http://library.csun.edu/mfinley/edstats.html for a good launching place.

4. Don’t assume that you are less qualified than they are. But don’t assume you are more qualified either. There can be a fine line between humility and pride. Personally, I’m headed into my 8th year of home schooling. The greatest percentage of teachers (32.9%) has only 3-9 years of teaching experience.[2] So, chances are good that, if you’re like me, you have nearly as many years of experience as they do. Breathe in. Breathe out. And think of them as a peer you can glean from.

5. Don’t skip the relationship. Teachers are some of the most creative, intuitive, life-giving friends I have. Before you begin to pick their brain, build a friendship. We learn from each other when we trust one another. And the relationship makes all the difference in our understanding.

[1] 73% enter the teaching profession because of their desire to work with young people. http://educationalissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/nea__todays_teacher_issues#ixzz0LlbvzM4X. Accessed July 19, 2009.

[2] http://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d08/tables/dt08_067.asp. Accessed July 19, 2009.

Co-op Community Building

July 7, 2009 by Debra

2 Comments

I have been a part of four different co-ops in three different states. Each time, I went looking for a community of fellow homeschoolers who could offer support and encouragement. I wanted to find friends for my kids to grow up with. I wanted to introduce my kids to other adults who could speak into their lives with influence, inspiration and grace. All of these co-op experiences accomplished these purposes to some extent and each one taught me abundantly. However, the hardest lessons about how to build a community were learned in my first co-op.

This first co-op began with a fairly large group of families. It was a pretty exciting opportunity and I was ready to jump in and help out. However, when the co-op actually began the adults felt coldly distant from one another and the leadership was difficult for me to communicate with. It felt a lot like my first day in middle school when all the students who had merged together from different elementary schools were simply scared to know one another.

These mothers were actually afraid to start conversations with each other. Why? What made these homeschoolers shut down? What made us isolate ourselves even when we were surrounded by families who understood our choice to homeschool? Even with vastly different motivations for choosing this path certainly we should have been able to find ways to connect and care for one another. After a year and a half, I learned that this disconnect was probably a combination of many things.

First, it is easy for us to judge people whom we simply don’t know. There were some beautiful people in that group, though they looked, dressed, parented, and schooled differently from me. The ones I had opportunity to know taught me many things and turned me on to new ideas. It’s frightening to think of how quickly I jumped to judgment.

Secondly, I began to fear what they would think of the real me: a non-conservative homeschooler who struggled with certain aspects of parenting and served in an unconventional church. My fear, as fear always does, led me to keep everyone at arm’s distance. This was not the way to build a community. If I wanted to be known, I had to make an effort to know others. Getting past the fear of being vulnerable was the first step and I think I skipped it.

Thirdly, many of us probably began the co-op centered on ourselves. I wanted to have everything this co-op promised to “do for me.” And so I went to consume the goods and services that would be provided. What I ended up with was a shallow, program-oriented experience. The key word in co-op is cooperation and cooperation is a group practice in associating for a common benefit, not the benefit of an individual. As a homeschooler, who makes strong efforts to buck the system, I often stumble over being an individual versus living in community with others. It’s an easy trap to fall into.

I was very glad to find a second co-op was going to open closer to our home. We began it quickly out of necessity with about 30 families. This time we simply had to communicate because every adult was needed in order to make the co-op work. It turned into a beautiful experience of shared vision and cooperation.

This group of homeschoolers took care of one another, sat and ate together, and followed a prayerful, humble leader who was friendly and open to suggestions. My kids and I found this to be a fun and loving experience that became rich in friendships. I felt supported and I found it easy to support others.

The difference in these two co-op communities was night and day. What was different about the second one that made it so successful? Again, I think there were several things to note.

First, instead of standing back and waiting to see what this co-op would do for me, I jumped in with a willing heart ready to be used in any way possible. I offered to teach but what they really needed was someone to assist in the Kindergarten class. I did that with joy and put myself under the tutelage of the mother teaching that class. She was organized, gentle, and creative. I learned a lot and gained a friend.

Second, building my community was no one’s responsibility but my own. I knew that I could not go in and expect to have my needs met because nobody knew what my needs were. I had to be vulnerable and make my needs known appropriately. But that was only half of the community-building process. The other half was meeting the needs of those around me. Rather than consume all the support, I offered support back by listening to the stories of others and asking questions rather than giving answers.

Thirdly, it was possible to show care and concern for others regardless of our differences in homeschooling philosophy. No matter what method we use to school our kids at home, we can all struggle with the application of that method and with children who are less than appreciative of our efforts. My second co-op was not only made up of a variety of children with unusual needs, but families who used packaged programs, utilized workbook methods, attempted Charlotte Mason, unschooled and even utilized charter schools. Though our paths were different we showed grace during those precious weekly times walking side-by-side and left with confidence to walk the rest of the week on our own.

Finally, humble leadership made a significant difference. It took someone organized to begin our co-op and keep it running, but that organization didn’t dominate to the extent that the program became more important than the people involved. It took humility to know when people weren’t feeling heard and to know when her ideas were not working for the good of the group. If you’re considering being in leadership you may want to consider how much of yourself you can bear to set aside before you sign on.

If you are considering venturing into a co-op you’ll find many wonderful benefits: friendships, support, learning opportunities, networking, help, and group opportunities. But don’t plan to just dip your toe in and hope to acquire the full benefit of the experience. It takes holistic commitment to reap the real rewards of finding a supportive and satisfying community that needs you as much as you need them.

Check out my article on page 26 of the funky flipbook edition of Heart of the Matter Magazine.

Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 14 years and has three sons under age10. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and loves connecting homeschoolers in relationship to one another. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

Tags: building homeschool friendships, Encouragement, encouraging one another, encouraging other homeschoolers, homeschool co-ops, homeschool cooperatives

Intentional Summer: A Lesson Plan for YOU

May 29, 2009 by Debra

1 Comment

I have always held that summer is a great time for learning and while we stop our academics my kids continue in their social, physical and delight-directed learning. But what about me? I have found that I become a bit of a taxi driver in the summer taking them from camp to playdate to lesson. At the end of the summer I look at my half-checked to-do list and think, “Where did my time go?” “What did I accomplish?” “Who did I become?”

This summer I’m being intentional. I’ve made a list of priorities and I’m penciling them into my own lesson plan with that Type-A adage ringing in my head that if I fail to plan then I plan to fail. So here is my lesson plan:

Reading: My reading list is all mapped out. I include different genres: homeschooling methods, spirituality, American literature and this year I’m adding a biography. What do you want to read that you’ve been putting off? What will help you grow in a new way? What will prepare you for life ahead? Put it on your list and have silent reading time every day.

Writing: I plan to contribute to a couple blogs, journal every evening (bullet-point journaling helps me get this done), include our families stories in our scrapbooks, write curriculum for next year and begin a rough outline for a bigger project. What do you need to get out of your head and down on paper for your eyes only or for the pleasure of others? Your writing projects may differ, but get yourself a new notebook and get busy with them (out in the sunshine with a glass of iced tea).

P.E.: Not only do I have 10 pounds I’d like to walk off, but I intend to go outside and play WITH my kids rather than send them out on their own. So, between our backyard soccer games, walks and www.hundredpushups.com, I’m going to be very intentional about moving my body more. I also plan to rest more. The two go hand in hand if I’m going to be holistically healthy.

Art: This is the hardest one for me to commit to because it feels like I’m playing and not taking care of things. But I’m being intentional here. Not only do I intend to streamline our family scrapbooks, but I am determined to work on a few art pieces for our new home. I’m not a painter, but I’m going to try. Maybe you need to pencil in time to knit, craft or paint. Growing in a skill and creating is not wasted time.

Communications: I plan to be more intentional about relationships this summer. Having just moved to a new area I’m writing down coffees, book groups, park days and co-op mom’s night out on my schedule. My kids also rate pretty high in my relationship queue this summer so I’m taking off my teacher hat and we’re going to hang out daily at our local playground, walk and talk on our local trails, and read some books out under a tree that I’ve been waiting to enjoy with them. My husband is not to be forgotten either. Date nights aren’t a consistent reality for us, but this summer they will be and I already know where we’re going. Now I just need a babysitter.

Maybe your intentional summer lesson plan includes Applied Science (horticulture? architecture?), Geography (road trip?), or Home Economics (culinary arts? human development?). Whatever your plan entails, be intentional about what you’d like to learn and produce, and who you’d like to do it with. The goal isn’t to have a degree by the end of summer, but to grow a degree and look back at the summer not as lost time but as time well spent.

Tags: accomplishments, art, Family Life, intentional summer, journaling, personal goals, personal growth, self enrichment, Summer, summer learning, writing

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