Heather | Heart of the Matter

August 31, 2009 By Heather 2 Comments

Have you ever had one of “those” days? How about one of “those” months? Well, step into my kitchen with me, and pour a cup of coffee…have I got some things to tell you!

See, my husband and I have three wonderful children, a girl and two boys. Absolutely adorable, just ask them! We often prayed for another girl. Two of each, rounding out the family. At least in our minds.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could just about taste it? Have you ever prayed for something so hard that you couldn’t imagine praying for something else? That’s where I was. Praying so hard for another daughter that each month, when the pregnancy test was negative I felt “let down”. How could He NOT answer this prayer? What was I doing wrong?

I went into a depression, convinced that I couldn’t have another child, and that I had nothing to offer. Anyone. How could I write for my blog, or this one when I had nothing to offer in the way of encouragement or wisdom? I mean, seriously, God wasn’t answering my prayers for another child and there were about 3 million women around me having children or announcing their expectant state. It honestly drove me wild with envy. Oh, prideful sinner that I am.

God did choose to answer our prayer for another daughter. But in a way totally unexpected. It was not in the form of a chubby 8lb 2oz infant, but in my 19 year old niece. She has been living with us for the last 6 months, and our lives have been turned upside down more than once. We love having her here with us, and watching her mature and move toward adulthood like never before. Each day brings new insight as to how teenagers work these days and the patience required to work with them and train them.

God’s work still isn’t done in my heart. He has been showing me that first of all, you need to be specific in your prayers. It’s the family joke now, that we prayed for a daughter and forgot to mention that we wanted an infant. But, He hears our prayers nonetheless.

Secondly, I have learned that it’s okay to be angry with God. He is a BIG God and can handle it. What He never allowed to happen was my faith to be shaken. I was angry and hurt that I wasn’t having another child, but never gave up my faith that He was there.

Thirdly, I have seen grace in action. I have seen God when I was at the miry pit and felt Him reach in and pull me out. But first, I had to let Him. I had to be willing to let go of my dreams, and let Him have my life. Believe me, it wasn’t easy at all. And it’s still a battle, dying to self and living for Christ.

And finally, I have learned that insurance is very, very expensive for a teenage driver. But, that’s a whole different posting.

Never give up your prayers, because God DOES hear them. And, know that He might have a different idea in mind than we do. Be open to His leading and you’ll be amazed at the blessings that follow!

Heather is a stay at home mother with 3 blessings to take everywhere with her. Teaching women to shop and save and get the most for your dollar are a vision that has been a long time in the making. She enjoys sharing her trials and triumphs at the local stores, as well as some good (and some not so good) recipes to help make those dollars stretch. Her column is a must read for the thrifty homeschool mom. Visit her blog at Titus 2 Woman.

May 5, 2009 By Heather 4 Comments

Some days, my hubby and I can be tough on our children. For example, we went through a period of time when the kids did not clean their rooms, or pick up their toys. It about drove us to the brink, trying to figure out what to do with them.

The solution came to us one day and we packed up all their toys and put them in the basement. Everything. All packed up in black garbage bags, to be hidden away from them. My children lamented over the loss, but my daughter had an especially hard time with her homemade paper dolls.

“But, Mom, I made those myself! Don’t take them away where I can’t play with them!”

I calmly explained to her that she would be eligible to “buy her toys” back in 2 days. The children would have to do extra chores to “earn” the toys back, and they would have to be put away at night before they could earn another the next day.

My daughter worked hard for three days, and finally “earned” her paper dolls back. The excitement on her face, when she was able to hold her folder of dolls again was enough to light up a room.

“I made you, you were taken away from me, and now I bought you back! I will never let you go again!”

Interesting, isn’t it? Christ made us, and through sin, we were “taken away” from Him to be bought back through His blood. I rest in the knowledge that I am His, paid for and no longer hidden in my garbage bag. I am FREE!!!!

And, yes, the kids got their other toys back…in due time. They are now put away on a regular basis…sort of…

heatherh Heather is a stay at home mother with 3 blessings to take everywhere with her. Teaching women to shop and save and get the most for your dollar are a vision that has been a long time in the making. She enjoys sharing her trials and triumphs at the local stores, as well as some good (and some not so good) recipes to help make those dollars stretch. Her column is a must read for the thrifty homeschool mom. Visit her blog at Titus 2 Woman.

April 3, 2009 By Heather 5 Comments

Ok, ya’ll. I live in the North. We don’t have the luxury of lots of warm weather to get seeds started, grown, and produce for many things. Take tomatoes for example. They need about 60 days from seed to veggie stage. And if I plant them in early May, it’ll be middle of July before I begin to see fruit, and around August before they are ripe.

Not great when you plant 40 plants and would like to be able to can all that fruit, right?

So, we started the seeds early. The little plants are growing like weeds (no pun intended, really) and they are thriving. I was so excited about them, we told a friend of ours who has “mentored” us in the gardening ways.

“See my lovely little plants? I should have TONS of tomatoes this year!”

“Ummm…yeah, they are nice,” he said, “but, they won’t be very strong.”

Now, how on earth would he know that? I mean, seriously? They are about 3 weeks old, and have lots of time before I need to plant them in the ground. So, I asked him what made him sooo special that he would know this.

“You haven’t given them storm practice.”

STORM PRACTICE????”

He explained that as the plants grow, they need to be made stronger. Not just the plants, but the root system and the stems. And you can do this simply by placing a light oscillating fan on them for a couple of hours a day, building up to 24/7. You would not be able to turn the fan on them right away full time as they need to build up their strength. The “wind” from the fan will simulate the real wind outside, and the tender shoots will be more ready for that since they have had practice.

Interesting….

How is it that God always speaks to me when I am up to my elbows in either dried oatmeal and soap bubbles or dirt?

What He spoke to me was that we are like these plants. As a new Christian, we experience some trials, or “storm practice”. He would never let the storms of life blow us completely over, understand. But, we need to experience them so that our faith grows, our roots dig deeper to hang on, and our stems become a solid force in Him. If He let the big ones come right away, we would never be able to withstand it, and we would wither and die.

So, if you are experiencing “little storms”, understand that you need to just dig deeper into Christ, and let Him hold your stems until you are stronger. Praise Him for being able to hold you through, and allow your faith to grow.
And then, come over to my house this fall. I could sure use some help canning all those tomatoes…

March 6, 2009 By Heather 7 Comments

These past two months, I have had some fun opportunities to earn some cash and some gift cards for free. What I had to do was simple, although sometimes time consuming. Here’s some of what I did and how you can do it, too.

First, I realized that I desperately needed “office hours”.

In other words, specific time that I would be on the computer that I was not to be disturbed. My office hours were usually after the youngest was down for a nap and the older kids had books to read or other projects that they wanted to work on. After my office hours were set and kids occupied, I found the sites.

momonlaptopwithbaby1

Then I signed up with MyPoints.

That was easy enough. What you need to do is fill out some quick info and you earn points. At around 1250 to 1500 points, you can redeem them for a $10 gift card. You can earn cards to places such as Walmart, Target, CVS, Applebee’s, and Bath & Body Works. It took me about 30 days to earn my first $10 card to CVS, and it arrived around 15 days after I ordered it. Earning the points was easy. Each day, you can expect around 3-8 emails that you read through. If you click on the website or link, you will get 5 points just for going to the website. If you actually “respond” to the email, or order the items, you can earn up to 35,000 points. I only checked the air travel info, and just clicked on the link the rest of the time. You can also earn points by printing coupons and by referring others. Fairly simple and easy.

Next, I used CashCrate.com.

This was either cash or points as well. What you do is fill out surveys, getting paid a set amount per survey. They range from $.25 to $1.00, and take about 2-3 minutes each to complete. What I would suggest is getting a new free email address from either yahoo. com or gmail.com and using that one in your surveys. You will need to confirm from your email address, and some of them can send you a bunch of “offers” (read:junk mail!) that can clutter up your regular box. I earned about $20 within 2 days of starting this. It took me about 2 hours to complete that many offers, although not all at the same time. You have options of having the regular surveys, the daily cash, and daily point surveys. Each time you earn cash, you also earn points to trade in for gift cards. You need a minimum of 200 points, and after almost 3 weeks, I only have 14. The cash is easy enough to earn. Easy, but you will need to be able to spend 1/2 hour to an hour on a regular basis in order for this to pay off.

happywomanlaptop1

Ebates is a place to earn cash back on each of your purchases.

You get up to 25% Cash Back rewards when you shop online with them. You can also earn up to $5 for a referral who makes the qualifying purchase. If you are looking to just make money, this isn’t the best way to go. But, if you are an online shopper anyway, and you like to save money and don’t mind waiting for the cash back, this is definitely the way to go. I bought something and got the 8% back credited to my account in 3 days. But, since it only pays out every 3 months, be sure that you don’t mind waiting for your cash.

If you like blogging, then try Social Spark or PayPerPost

Both sites give you the opportunity to earn money, just by blogging about things you want to. The posts are simple, and the guidelines are clearly stated. You can choose what you want to write about and payment is usually done within 30 days of approval. If you don’t have a larger readership, the opportunities are a little bit harder to come by, but they are still there. The secret is to be able to check daily and to write your post immediately. Again, “office hours” are a good thing here. I have made about $30 so far, and it was fairly easy. I had to count the words in each posting, but I thought it was worth my time.

These are just some of the ways that I have earned a little cash on the side. I don’t have a million dollars yet, but I have gotten enough rewards and cash so far to make it worth my time. I used the $10 gift card to pay for laundry soap and other necessary items at CVS, and the cash has gone into our savings account.

money

What ideas do you have for earning money at home? I would love to hear what others have done, and to be able to pass the information on in upcoming articles.

February 6, 2009 By Heather 1 Comment

After the Christmas decorations are packed and stored, the old year over, the New Year holiday a memory, it becomes that time of year again…the time that I dread….BACK TO SCHOOL!

For those of you who are able to school throughout the holidays, I am soooo looking up to you right now. My kids just can’t seem to even crack a book, let alone do a math problem or make a tin can robot after Thanksgiving. And things begin to mooooooo-vvvv-e innnnnnnn sloooooooooooow mooooooo-shuuuuuuuun.

With the cold winter here, it’s difficult to get the kids excited about school. They would rather just read, or play their new Xbox, or do anything but schoolwork. It’s not like when we started out the year, and everything was new and exciting.

So, I figured, WHY NOT?? Why not make it all new? So, here’s what I did:

I kept the math program since it works for us. But, I am doing a “mini” curricula where the kids can practice their times tables. It takes about 10 days to do, and it’s fun, so that will get them back on track.

For foreign languages, I took a hint from what the local public schools do. The first “semester” we have studied Spanish. Now, we are digging into Greek. We’ll accomplish the same amount in 2 years, but they are getting a break from one for a while. Plus, I am finding that it’s easier to learn a third language than a second.

For science, we are doing this next chapter “backwards”. Usually, we would read the chapter, do the notebooking, and then the project. For the next 2 weeks, we are doing the projects first, then reading, then we will notebook. Again, the key is to break it up a bit.

For home ec, we bought a new Chinese cookbook, and are committed to trying out a new recipe for at least once a week for the month of January. Hopefully, they will like them, and we will have some fun learning new cooking techniques!

And finally, we are studying the states. I was going in alphabetical order in the beginning, but I have let the kids choose which state they are going to do. As long as we cover the bases, I am letting go of that one, and they think it’s cool that they don’t have to do the same state each week as their sibling.

I am praying that we will be able to be back into our routine come February. I miss it!! These are just some of the ideas that I have to ease back into it…I would love to hear if anyone has others!

December 16, 2008 By Heather 19 Comments

I have the curricula, I have the plans, I have the dates of field trips, library times, the best days to go to the park all written down. I have a calendar full of gymnastics, music lessons, taekwondo classes, and assorted clubs. My kids are excited about this school year. A first in my family, really.

I started one day much like any other day before that. I would stumble out of bed as my 4 year old jumped on me asking for breakfast, trip over myself to the coffee pot, and wait impatiently as it would brew my “lifeblood”. I would never have time for myself, my schedule and things I wanted to accomplish for the day, and we always seemed to be running around ragged. Not the best of homeschool situations. I was often hoarse from yelling at the kids to finish their school work, or taking legos away due to fights. I could not figure out what was the real problem.

And then it hit me.

God and I were talking over soap bubbles and dried oatmeal covered bowls. I wanted a better day, and I would often pray that He would guide my paths and help me settle the kids down. Boy, did I have another hard lesson to learn!

It wasn’t the kids, it was me that needed to settle down. They got me every morning, but I wasn’t ready to be mom and teacher. I was barely ready to be human before that first cup of coffee. They needed my availability, but instead got my irritability. I had to make a difference in my schedule. So, I tried it. I scoured blogs for inspiration, read books on how to become “the woman I always dreamed I could be”. And at last, I found the answer. I set my alarm clock for 1 hour earlier than I would normally get up. I woke before the kids, had my quiet time, workout time, shower and got ready for the day. I was all smiles as I had my second cup of coffee in hand when the kids came downstairs. This was Heaven….

Then the bubble burst.

I was exhausted because I am a night owl, and getting out of bed at 6 am was a struggle for me. I wound up crying over failed dinner one night and losing control. I had spent so much time trying to be like other Moms that I forgot who I was. I was trying to make someone else’s schedule fit mine. I had tailored my workouts to be like this person’s, my quiet time to be like that one’s quiet time, and even my homeschool schedule like other people had it, because I thought that was the way it should be. After all, if it works for them, it should work for me, right?

Why are you laughing?

After some tears, ice cream and prayer, I called a friend. I finally laid it all out, how I was burnt out, and failing miserably. I was convinced that I was ruining my kids…you know the drill, right? And she gave me the best gift I have gotten in a long time. She said, “I give you permission to say no. I give you permission to be different, to be yourself.”

There was a sweet relief in those words. I finally had permission to be myself. I had permission to NOT be like everyone else. I could let go of what I thought my day should be like, and expect more realistic things. I let go of the expectations that were awfully high for my kids. I have let more things slide, and laughed so much more. I have set “emergencies” to the standard of “What will this matter in five years?” If it won’t, it isn’t worth getting upset about. And now, my kids have not only my availability, they are not dealing as much with my irritability. I learned this simple truth:

We must let go of the life we planned in order to
accept the life that is waiting for us…

So, for any of you who are struggling with your days, I am giving you permission to be yourself. I am giving you full permission to skip the textbooks and read aloud in jammies all day, or to pick up the textbooks that someone told you were too restrictive. I am giving you permission to miss a day of school now and then, and go to the park, or bowling. I also give you full permission to not go on every field trip that your support group has, or to every seminar on homeschooling. I give you full permission to not be like anyone else.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made…no one else is like you. (Psalm 139:14) Enjoy being who you are…and have an ice cream sundae one in a while…

November 24, 2008 By Heather 5 Comments

The winter months are upon us. For those of you in warmer climates, let me just say that I am jealous at this point. You can still send your kids out to play without taking a 1/2 hour to get them ready.

Now, in the past, I have suffered severe burnout in homeschooling at this time of year. Basically, I failed to plan ahead for the cabin fever that always comes during the transition from fall to winter. Crazy, I know, since where I live, winter makes up almost half of the year.

This year, I have a plan. Some of these things may work for you, some may not. Or they will spark other ideas for you.

1. Make sure that everyone gets exercise, including your children.
There are many moms who dedicate lots of time for exercising themselves, but they forget that their kids need it to. Kids are just like us, albeit shorter and at times messier. They need to run, play, and burn off energy. If you have a treadmill at home, consider letting your older children use it with your supervision. If not, try mall walking in the afternoons, or going to a play land at a fast food joint. Yes, you need to be a customer, but buying one soda and splitting it will count you as a customer. Use the time that they are playing to catch up on reading, or just relaxing for yourself. Or call another homeschooler and get a play date going.

2. Keep an especially watchful eye on sugar intake. All those holiday cookies that get “sneaked”, in addition to all the “warm-you-up” hot chocolate after playing out in the snow can add up to sugar crashes and meltdowns. We experienced a fair amount of sugar crashed induced frustrations until I stopped giving them hot chocolate every time they went to play, and substituted it for hot tea with honey.

3. Don’t be afraid to try something different for a while. If you are normally a “stick to your schedule” kinda mom, then try skipping that one day a week and cuddling up and reading aloud instead. If you are more text book free, try a day where the kids do worksheets that you can print off the internet. Try serving dinner for breakfast, and breakfast for dinner. The point is to mix it up a little and have some fun.

4. Take field trips that you normally wouldn’t go to. Go check out your local Dairy Queen and see how they make a Dilly Bar. Maybe take in an afternoon matinee at the dollar theater, or volunteer at an animal shelter for a day. Who knows, you might spark a new interest in your child!

5. Most of all, don’t go it alone. Winter time seems to be hibernation time for all animals, including humans. A lot of homeschoolers will “hole up” in their cozy houses, and not get out very often. It is essential that you still get out with other homeschooling moms and have a little down time. Find someone who can share with you any trials that you are facing because of cabin fever. Share together, pray together.

6. Enjoy the fact that winter is going to be over in 5 short months. No matter how long it seems, Spring comes. It always does, every year. You will once again be able to send the kids out to play, and it won’t take you three times longer to get them ready for it!

Heather is a stay at home mother with 3 blessings to take everywhere with her. Teaching women to shop and save and get the most for your dollar are a vision that has been a long time in the making. She enjoys sharing her trials and triumphs at the local stores, as well as some good (and some not so good) recipes to help make those dollars stretch. Her articles are a must read for the thrifty homeschool mom. Visit her blog at Titus 2 Woman.

August 7, 2008 By Heather 3 Comments

“One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

As I pondered about this month’s article, I wondered what the people would want to read about. Saving money at the grocery store? Maybe starting a babysitting co-op? How about a curiculum swapping co-op? Maybe you would like to hear my ideas of canning and preserving the fruit in season? Nah….

I have been a coupon shopper for many years now, and I have also been a CVS and Walgreen addict. I have had a stock pile of health and beauty aids that would last my family through a nuclear holocaust. At one time, I had a stockpile of 30 bags of cereal. And I got a bit overwhelmed. Ok…VERY overwhelmed.

What I have learned in the last month especially, is simplicity. There is such beauty in simplicity, and I really believe that society as a whole has lost sight of that. So, you have a coupon for free cereal. Why on earth would you need 30 bags at one time? So, you got a really good deal on school supplies. Is there really a need for 20 boxes of crayons at your house?

I have spent the last few weeks really searching and seeking. I have de-cluttered my cabinets again and again and have almost feel ashamed at the things that I accumulated that I didn’t even remember existed. Yes, I would eventually use up 20 bottles of shampoo, but wouldn’t someone else benefit from some of that now? So, I loaded up the van and took off for the local food pantry. I gave away shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes, cereal, spaghetti, and so much more. And I felt free. Free, indeed.

Keeping my shopping list down to a 2 week at a time list, instead of monthly, made things a little easier to handle as well. What I found, at least for myself, was that if I had too many choices for meal options, planning became difficult. Keeping myself more limited kept the options easier to choose. And, we ate out less because of it. Going to the stores less often, even at “the cost of that great deal” saved me more money than I had saved in the previous month with coupons. And I had less clutter to clean up around. So, my house is neater and more organized.

So, what I am trying to say is that by keeping things to a minimum, life is more simple. There are less things to pick up, less money spent on upkeep, and less stress in trying to pay for or store them. I have found that the simple life is the one that I would like to have for a long, long, long time.

What about you? What have you done to keep things simple in your household?

August 5, 2008 By Heather 6 Comments

Have you ever wondered about your relationship with God? Really, really wondered…

I had. I asked Him one night to reveal what HE thought about the relationship that we had together. I figured that I was reading my Bible, and I knew all about what He says in there, and that I was doing just fine.

Not.

even.

close.

I have a friend in blogosphere. Her name is Amy Bayliss. Really great lady, she is. She has a blog (several) that I read on a regular basis, and I am “friends” with her on Facebook and The Homeschool Lounge. I mean, we are sooo tight that she has read my blog as well, (at least once!) and she has commented on my blog, and I have left comments on hers. I even have her email address…totally best friends, right?

Uh, huh….

You know when you are reading a book or a blog or even an email, you kinda place the words that the person is saying and you have a voice all figured out? Like, you would know what they sounded like the moment they called you or talked to you? I had that same problem with Amy. I had her voice all figured out in my head. And when she was speaking tonight on the Heart of The Matter Homeschool Conference, I was stupdified.

Totally.

I mean, she didn’t sound at all like I thought she would. I am not sure how to explain it. It was like I had never read her blogs, or “gotten to know” her any other way. She was like a total stranger to me at first. And the relationship took a different meaning to me. But now, the relationship is fuller. I know who she is and what she sounds like. I would feel more close to her. I would feel that I could trust her…

The lightbulb came on as I was doing dishes. Yeah, God speaks to me when I am arm deep in greasy bubbles and dried oatmeal. My relationship with the Lord was like I had with Amy. I knew Him only from what I read, and left my comments prayers for Him to get to another time. I never took the time to hear His voice. I thought that I had it all figured out in my head what He sounded like. I never really listened, and when I began to realize it, it’s like our relationship took another turn. And, it’s an awesome turn. When I am really still and listen, I will know Who He is. And I can place the face with the voice, and know that I am home. Sure, reading the Bible is important, and so is praying. But listening to the voice….knowing Who it belongs to…and taking that relationship to it’s completeness….that’s what I have learned today.

Heather is a stay at home mother with 3 blessings to take everywhere with her. Teaching women to shop and save and get the most for your dollar are a vision that has been a long time in the making. She enjoys sharing her trials and triumphs at the local stores, as well as some good (and some not so good) recipes to help make those dollars stretch. Her HOTM magazine column is a must read for the thrifty homeschool mom. Visit her blog at Titus 2 Woman.

July 7, 2008 By Heather 6 Comments

You say that you can’t squeeze one more dime from your budget for savings? Times are hard, groceries and gas prices are soaring? Here are some simple ways to save $10 a week, without really changing your lifestyle, but by just planning ahead.

If you eat out, for a family of 5, the price of adding soda can be expensive. Drink water instead and save $10 (average price of $2/soda!).
Plan your trips to the store, and save $10 a week in gas from going back for items forgotten.(For an average of 20 miles round trip, two trips to the store at 15MPG and $4/gallon for gas)
Instead of going through the drive-thru for lunch on your busiest days, purchase a cooler/warmer that plugs into the ciggarette lighter. They run about $35 and keep food either warm or cold. Pack a picnic style lunch and save at least $10 (eating off the dollar menu for a mom and 3 kids)
Go meatless. At an average of $2.59/lb for hamburger in our area, we save over $5 by serving spaghetti with just the meat sauce from the jar twice a week. The kids don’t notice a difference, but our budget does.
If you like to buy soda on the run, try buying it in 12 packs at the store on sale. At the average price of $1.50/soda at the convenience stores, and a rate of 10 per week, you are spending $15. Save $10 a week by buying it in advance and having it in the fridge (or your plug in cooler in the car).
Try brown-bagging lunch for hubby 2 days a week, if he typically eats out. The average price of lunch can be anywhere from $4-$10, and just by bringing lunch two days a week, you can save $8-$20 a week.
Consider starting a babysitting swap with other mothers. You can fill out questionnaires about things such as guns in the house, movies, snacks, pools, overnights, whatever is important to you. Each hour you watch someone else’s kids earns you a ticket for a free hour for you. My sitter (although wonderful!) charges $7/hour. For a date night, with the swap, we have saved $28.
Instead of purchasing a high priced item, try Freecycle. You may find that someone has what you are looking for, and is willing to give it away!

These are just some of the ways I have used to stretch our budget a little more. Do you have any others that I missed? I would love to hear them and share them with others!

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