Getting Your Reluctant Reader to Love Reading
February 28, 2010 by Leslie
As a homeschooling mom I have been asked one question more than any other. No, it is not how I teach socialization. The question is, “How did you teach your children to read?”
Although this question is frequently asked, I always find myself blushing and replying, “I never taught my children to read.”
Now, you might wonder why people ask me about reading. The fact is that around each of my children’s third birthday they have become fluent readers. What typically has inspired parents to ask me this question is hearing one of my children reading at a young age. Are you wondering why I am a bit embarrassed to respond?
Photo Credit: Heidi, Mt Hope Academy
Here is another fact. Not only have I never taught my children to read, I have not even taught phonics. How does one begin to answer the question when she hasn’t taught them to read? What has occurred with each of my children is they suddenly begin reading. I have no proof as to why they all began reading fluently at a similarly young age, but what I do have proof of is why they have become readers; I read. I don’t mean I read blogs or curriculum or magazines from time to time. I read everything! You are your child’s best and most important example.
From the time my children were infants I have spent much time in bookstores and libraries with them. I always presented the idea as a field trip of sorts. Our local bookstores and library are on a first name basis with my family. After 18 years, this is still a favorite outing for my children and one must see location on every vacation is the local library. In addition to this, I have been reading aloud to my children since before birth. So, imagine my surprise when one of my children, who is a fluent reader, began complaining about reading. BLAM! I had a reluctant reader. Of course like any typical homeschooling mom, I believed there had to be a fix. I researched dozens of ideas and methods to help me. I became so focused on finding a “cure” that I overlooked the beautiful truth God had presented to me.
The first part of the truth is that there are two basic types of readers: Functional and Genuine.
- A Functional Reader is one who reads for a required purpose. This reader does not go out of her way to read extra information. She reads exactly what is assigned, and no more. If she is asked to write a research paper and the requirement is a minimum of three books for the bibliography, she reads three books. Note that a Functional Reader may be more of a scanner than a detailed reader. A Functional Reader often complains or finds drudgery in the task of reading. Another sign of a Functional Reader is the repeated intention of starting a book, but not finishing it.
- A Genuine Reader is one who reads for the joy of reading. This reader is voracious. Typically a Genuine Reader prefers the feeling of a magazine, report, or book in hand. She can be found reading tucked away in quiet places without being asked to read. She will read any written text; often out loud. (This can be annoying to those around a Genuine Reader as she repeatedly reads mundane things like ingredient lists and advertisements.)
You may be surprised to know that a reluctant reader can be either one of these. Reading personality does not define a person, but it is a key in helping a reluctant reader find his “eyes,” so to speak. Just because one is a reluctant reader does not mean that she does not read for enjoyment. However, she may not be reading what you consider to be the “right” reading material. For example, you may have a child who moans and groans each time you ask her to read a story aloud to you, but voluntarily reads instructions to games or projects. This person may be a “baby” Genuine Reader. This means that she will read on her own for enjoyment, but has a different choice of reading material than you would typically choose for her.
Now, if only there was a large red “Easy” button to turn your child on to reading, right? The first thing is to determine the reading personality of your child. With a reluctant reader you only need to discover whether your child will groan less over reading instructions on a worksheet or reading a story. Once you have determined her reading personality, now it’s time to do a little inner reflection. Spend time in prayer asking God to reveal your personal educational goals for your child. This seems so simple, but it is overlooked more often than not. It is so simple that it is a topic that was not covered during my training as a teacher. Some of my educational goals vary from child to child according to their God given gifts and personality. For example, my oldest child is an intensely auditory learner. He truly loves books, but struggles to finish a physical book. However, he finishes a multitude of books by listening to them. My youngest child is deeply oriented to visual and tactile learning and thrives when reading text and holding the actual book. What God revealed to me was that my personal goal for my children was to have a lifelong love for reading, regardless of what or how they read.
Once you have determined your child’s reading personality and your personal goals for your child’s reading it is time to implement ideas that will create a hunger for the written word. The second part of the truth God imparted on me was that I needed to meet my child right where he was. I had to accept that God made him absolutely perfect. It was my job to continue to help him manifest himself into the person God planned for him to be without all of my preconceived ideas and desired thrown into the mix. If this is where you begin to stumble and become frustrated with your reluctant reader, help is on the way. This is where the FUN begins! Begin by changing your thought process of teaching your child to read as an educational task to one of having FUN with your child. All children enjoy stories. They may have a preference to different genres of stories, but that is normal for people of all ages. For example, I have always enjoyed a spectacular fictional story over an instructional story. Many of my friends share the opposite preference. Developing a love for reading with your child starts when you stop forcing your child to read your way.
Take time to try different ideas for reading with your child. One very easy strategy is to read aloud to your child using your finger put at each word as it is read. Do not just stop doing this with picture books. Continue this while reading chapter books to your children. Relieving the pressure for them to read on their own will allow them to experience the exciting aspect of reading. When you read aloud use good inflection, diction, accents, and voices. Even a visual learner will be drawn into the story in this way. Instead of having a reluctant reader, who shows signs of becoming a Genuine Reader, read a biography search out a book that describes the life of a person in story format. This is often referred to as a living book. Most reluctant readers will delve into a topic without hesitation when the topic is presented in story format. Continue to do this with your reluctant reader in short segments. Conversely, if your reluctant reader shows signs of being a Functional Reader, a biography may be a better choice than a living story. This will begin to eliminate their fear or rebellious spirit of you trying to “trick” them into reading. You are doing this because it is FUN! You will notice that your reluctant reader begins enjoying the exclusive time with you once the work aspect of reading is removed from the task.
Allow your child to pick the topics or books that you will read to or with them. The important aspect is that they begin to enjoy reading, not that the books read are highly desirable in the educational world. I have made my way through some of the most horribly written stories with my children; so much so that I have to remember why I am reading the story to them. You are trying to spark a desire to read. Keep reminding yourself of that. I begrudgingly read through all of the Captain Underpants books with one of my children. I really had to motivate myself for reading time while we were reading through that series. Keep your mindset on how much more relaxing it is to have your reluctant reader ask if you can finish that funny story about the kid who lived during the Revolution than to have to bark orders and threaten her to read a book that contains all the most accurate and detailed facts and is on every educator’s must read list.
As your reluctant reader begins to look forward to reading time, ask her to read one sentence per page. This presents them with a non threatening perspective on reading. One sentence is not too big a task for anyone. My reluctant reader started requesting to read exclamatory words only. In order to get him reading more I searched out books that had lots of exclamatory sentences. He so enjoyed, and still does, reading those sentences. As time progresses have your child read a bit more. If you have several children who read have them take turns reading sentences or pages. Not only is this great if you have more than one reluctant reader, but it really gives you the opportunity to work on strengthening the skills of all your children. Your children who struggle with listening will become better listeners. Those who struggle with the physical task of reading words will become stronger in that area as well. Before you know it, reading is no longer drudgery for anyone.
One other fabulous tactic to grabbing your reluctant reader’s attention is to allow her to do another activity while she is reading aloud. You can have coloring sheets that she can work on while she is listening, have her draw pictures of what is going on in the story, or do an unrelated activity. Perhaps you have a child who enjoys hand sewing; have her work on a sewing project while she is listening to the story. If you have a child who likes building with blocks, allow her to build while she is listening. Again, you are taking the stress and preconceived negative aspects the reluctant reader has in her head and changing them to positives.
Here are a few other ideas for making reading fun for a reluctant reader. Have her close her eyes while reading. Afterwards ask her to draw a favorite character. Get Dad involved. Have your husband ask her about the story or character using open ended questions. Once you have a good understanding of a character make up a silly adventure about the character. Take a break from reading a page and ask questions in a conversational format with her such as, “Why do you think Frog is so kind to his friend Toad?” or “What do you think about a kid trying to become President?” Have her write one to three sentences to summarize an entire story. Integrate the characters or story topic into other schooling. For example, try making up math problems that incorporate characters or parts of a story you are reading.
As you continue on your journey to help your reluctant reader develop her reading personality and desire to read, you will find that she chooses to read on her own more. Don’t just use one idea from this article; use them all. Be sure to alternate activities. As you begin to see which type of activities your child is inspired by, you will find more creative ways of presenting them. One thing to keep in mind is that it won’t matter when she is an adult if she read Jane Austen’s, Pride and Prejudice if in adulthood she finds reading a drag or her memories are those of you hounding, yelling, and pushing her to read it. The reward is a child who is self motivated to read throughout the rest of her life.
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
School Organization for Everyday
February 22, 2010 by Leslie
One thing that everyone tries to accomplish at the beginning of each school year is to make a system that will work for keeping things organized. We all dream of mornings that are non-chaotic with never a spinny, spin, spin for that one needed item that seems to be hiding somewhere. “I know I put that pencil somewhere, but where?”
Here is a system that can put those mornings behind you forever!
Consider a simple cubby system. Yup, just like they have at schools, but maybe not quite so elaborate. I looked high and low and we priced lumber for the exact size cubbies we needed for our family. Unfortunately I was NOT willing to pay the high prices for this organization.
BUT then I found a way to do it for a mere $13!
I took into account what items I needed for the kids to have at their ready every day. This included a rather large school box (which are color coded for each child: one child is blue, one is green, etc), an oversized art box, that seems to be designed for 12 x 12 scrapbook paper, and space for a bag or backpack.
Wal-Mart had this little build it yourself plastic storage shelves in different sizes. I found the one that had the dimensions I needed, taking into account the space I had to place the cubby system. Since I don’t have a lot of room, I had to find a corner and it had to be tall, rather than wide. It cost $13.
I brought it home and put it together in seven minutes. To each shelf I placed a color coded name label. Then the boxes went on. Every morning the kids grab their boxes and we are ready for the day. When the school day is over, it is their responsibility to replace the items in the box and back on the shelf.
Each Friday I have a box check. I count how many glues sticks, pencils, markers, crayons, sharpeners, papers, folders, etc. If a box is missing an item, the child has 10 minutes to locate it. If it cannot be located the child must purchase the item him/herself…even my four year old must use her own money to replace items that have not been cared for properly.
If there is an activity on any given day that requires an item not on the shelf such as a particular notebook, backpack, or book, the child will put it on the shelf the night before when he/she is laying out his/her clothes. On co-op and art days the children get up, dress (clothes laid out the night before), grab their boxes, have breakfast and we are out the door! No hassle, nothing forgotten, no scurrying about! One thing about leaving the house with items, is a rule that the boxes must be carried directly from the vehicle and returned to the shelf immediately. This eliminates car build up and running around grabbing the box the next day. The boxes must be on the shelf before lights out.
One note about color coding: I have found this to be VERY effective in our home. I keep to the simple colors that I KNOW I can find for items such as rulers, pencils, boxes, erasers, scissors, folders, etc. In this way, if I find an item lying about or the children are putting their school items away, there is never confusion about to whom the item belongs.
We have cut down on our morning prep time by about 20 minutes. Try this system; it’s simple, frugal, AND effective!
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Become an Action Lister
January 11, 2010 by Leslie
I was talking to a new homeschooling mom a couple of weeks ago who was in the frantic…”It’s time to get busy”…stage.
You know when you have to pull it all together, but have never done it before, and ALL of the thoughts of what you simply MUST accomplish to succeed are spinning around your head. Oh this is a terrifying place to be in mentally. However, this need not be the case.
I am a lister of lists. This means that everything in my world is on a list of one type or another. Yes, I do keep a running list of the lists I have. I may even have lists of lists of lists. I will have to check that out. Three generations of lists for one woman? Isn’t that a little extreme? Yes and No.
For me, I need every one of those lists or my mind would stray and I would miss a lot. Those who know me well, know that I am NOT Johnny on the Spot when it comes to remembering things from my head. I remember them from my lists. The important thing I stressed to the mom was that it isn’t the actual list(s) that matter. What makes the difference is to have a process that works for YOU to actually work through the list.
You will spend way less time AND money on anything that you finish. A scrapbook with supplies lying around that you spent money on but have no time to work on is a WASTE of money. You and I both know that saying you’ll get to it someday usually means that when the day comes it has been so long, you can’t find what you need and what you do find may be in less than pristine condition. (The first person who tattles on my long spurt of not scrapping is getting a box of eggshells in the mail!) But the truth is, it isn’t on the list.
I have developed a very simple process of how to work through my lists and shift items from other lists to my main TO DO list in the right time frame. I cross EVERY item off as soon as it is completed (which is the BIG reward for me). From my main list I pick the top three things that HAVE TO be done that day and put them at the top. In this way, when life happens, as it usually does, I am still able to accomplish the MOST important things. Everything will get done in turn as it moves up the list.
This is a simple method that TRULY has the benefits of producing a more simple life AND a more frugal life. Take time to develop a process that will get you from being just a lister to an Action Lister! Success will be yours in the VERY FIRST DAY!
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Encourage Your Children to Express their Creative Side
Oh how I love art and crafting. Although all my kids have their own favorite activities, I am a watercolor fan. I truly wish I had a bit more time to develop my drawing and painting skills. When I lived up north I would take the littletons to art museums often. The true beginning of this activity began for me the first time I was taken to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. This is my most fond museum memory, and will likely always be my favorite museum for that reason. However, living close to the city, I had the ability to visit museums often. There are so many in and outside of NYC. As I grew into adulthood and moved to the Ohio Valley, I found respite in the resources in Pittsburgh, Pa. You could have found me, pushing a stroller, nursing a babe, and talking about what we were seeing; always a marvel to me.
Here in southwest Florida, there is not much museum hopping to be had. Certainly nothing as what I had been accustomed to. I have been to several museums, but it seemed that as the littletons grew to be eldertons, they did not have the same interest and thus time took hold. Imagine my surprise when a littleton told me the other day that she was going to have her art displayed in a museum one day. It wasn’t astonishing that she wanted to showcase her art, but that at four, she even knew museums existed. She has not been taken to a traditional museum yet and we don’t discuss them…at least that I can recall. At any rate, you can tell she is the most art oriented of the group.
Although she comes up with the most amazing ideas on her own, left to a room filled with art supplies this girl will astound you with her creativity and vision, I often research a wide variety of art ideas with an even wider variety of mediums. I have wanted to share this wonderful site, but today is the day I introduce it. I have been pondering through this site for the last several weeks and am truly finding so much held within, that a mere post cannot possibly encompass all it has to offer.
Often times art is left behind in our homeschool world. We want to teach it, but for a variety of reasons, such as inadequacy or time limitations, we push it to the side. The thought process that is involved in creating is intricate and beneficial to other functions of the brain. Creative thinking strengthens other areas of thinking such as logic. Creativity is like exercise for the brain. So don’t worry about teaching a specific art. Instead encourage your children to create anything and everything. Don’t limit your children with your thoughts of what art is. Let your children guide you. Creating with Knex, is art. Drawing with chalk on the sidewalk is art. Turning a box into a robot is art. Painting rocks is art. Change your thought of art as an extracurricular activity to one that views art as an integral part of brain development.
Now, I know art projects can be expensive. Mom can also become overwhelmed with the idea of coming up with projects. However, I want to share this GREAT page on frugal and recycled craft ideas. You can find that page by clicking here. While the page will likely give you a lot of ideas for your home art, I recommend you bookmark the site (Creativity Portal) and spend time when permitted perusing all it has to offer. This isn’t just for kids! So encourage all your children to express their creative side. Creativity Portal will help you along the way.
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Visual Simplicity
October 5, 2009 by Leslie
Most women have some type of planner or calendar system that they use to keep track of their lives. It is a common and fairly simple way of keeping track of life. Some women use a multiple calendar system, while others use a one calendar system.
Whatever system you use, you can use this visual tool to determine how you can bring the most simplicity in the easiest way.
Open your calendar to a typical month; perhaps starting with September. Photocopy the entire month on one or two pages. If you are like me, you may write most appointments and tasks in pencil, so they can be changed if needed without too much chaos on the calendar page itself. Your copier may have trouble picking up the marked appointments. If this happens simply pencil them in again on the photocopy.
Now, grab a sheet of white scrap paper and a pair of scissors.
Next, put your copied calendar month in front of you. Are you overwhelmed by all of the activities you have going on? Then simplicity is on the way! Now cut some rectangular piece of the white scrap paper that is large enough to cover an activity on a calendar line or block. Once you have about 10-20 of those (depending on how packed your calendar is) pick an activity that is low on your priority list. If you don’t have one you consider low, ask yourself, “If I had to discontinue one activity, which would I choose?” Cover each calendar line or block that contains that activity with a white paper block. Look at your calendar. Would eliminating this activity free up enough time for you to accomplish a bit more simplicity? No? Then repeat this process. You can either leave the original potentially eliminated activity covered or start from scratch. Play with this a bit until you achieve a calendar that looks like the right balance for your family.
Test your new schedule out this week. Take time to have your husband look at your calendar and the revised covered calendar. Ask his opinion on what you have done. Ask him to pray about the best way for your family to simplify. Pray about the activities that you may want to discontinue. Ask God for guidance on what is best for your family. Normally, I do this and put the covered calendar aside for a day or two. Then I come back and look again. Do I still have the feeling of being able to breathe? Do I want to uncover an activity and cover a different one? Does the current configuration reflect God’s will for your family? Once you come to a peace about this there may be some sticky areas on how to actually accomplish your goal.
The next step is to determine your method of eliminating the activities.
First, you can contact administrators of the activities you will be discontinuing and explain that upon review your husband and you have determined you cannot continue the activity. If they ask for an explanation, be honest. Explain that you are simplifying your lives and have been praying through a process of the best way to accomplish this for your family. Unfortunately, this activity is one you are going to need to discontinue. Although the administrator may not be pleased, or even try to talk you in to sticking with the activity, he/she will respect you for your honesty and resolve.
Secondly, you can do a phased out approach. Form an out strategy, which is a plan to phase out an activity. You may have committed to an activity that you now are ready to discontinue, but have made commitment which would leave the group in a negative state if you pull out completely. Determine what you can do and the time frame you will need to accomplish the tasks needed to fulfill your commitment to the best of your ability. Once you have an out strategy, you can contact the activity administrator and tell them you will be discontinuing the activity but will be staying on for X period of time to fulfill your commitments.
Whichever strategy you choose (and you may choose both depending on your commitment level for the activities you are choosing to eliminate) you will feel a peace about obeying God’s desire. When you feel like you may falter and fall back (and likely your guilt emotions will kick in) you can rest assured that not only are you following God’s desire for your life, but that you have the support of your husband. Keep in mind that guilt is not a Godly emotion, but it is in our lives more frequently than we would like. To combat the feelings of guilt, remind yourself of why you are making these changes. Think about your original calendar and what your new calendar look like side by side (this is always the clincher for me).
You are to follow God’s will for your life, no one else’s…not even your own. Obeying God’s desires for your life and living by His principles, He will abundantly bless you!
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Weeding the Garden of Life
August 5, 2009 by Leslie
You have likely heard the idea that your spiritual life is like a garden; if you do not tend to it regularly the weeds will take over.
It starts slowly, and may even happen unconsciously. You skip weeding (devotional time) one day because there is a torrential downpour of chaos on your life. Your mind is preoccupied with handling the chaotic issue. A week goes by and still you have not been able to return to your garden. Weeds of life begin to bud in your garden. You recognize them, but think you will take care of them tomorrow. Before we can blink, tomorrow turns into another week and the weeds begin to strangle our plants and stunt the growth of fruit.
There is an enormous and glorious difference between a real garden and the garden of our spiritual life. In a real garden, those weeds will likely suck up all the nutrients in the soil and strangle the life from the fruit producing plants; completely destroying our garden. This is not so with God’s garden.
We are blessed that He is a Master Gardener that can bring life back to us, the fruit bearing plants, even when there appears to be no life left. God is the ultimate Miracle Grow! He not only revives a plant when it has been unattended for a short time, but also revives those that have been left unattended for long periods of time.
We all have times in our lives when life issues (weeds) begin to sprout and then take over our lives without us meaning for that to occur. When we recognize that this has happened we need not spend more time struggling to figure out how to revive ourselves and bear fruit. Instead, we only need to bring ourselves before God and ask for His intervention and allow Him to revive us. I cannot count how many times I have hit a spiritual stagnation throughout my life. There have been times when I allowed my priorities to get out of whack and put my relationship with God in second, third, fourth place…or further down the list. As soon as I recognize that this has occurred, I pray for His help and guidance to turn it around, because I know I cannot do it on my own.
Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens”) is a popular verse for meditation. Typically we think of this verse when we are facing adversities. The importance of this verse does not lie in the fact that something can be accomplished. What comes shining through is the fact that it is God who does the work in our lives. We must do our part and invite Him in and then follow in obedience, but when we fall away all we need do is call on Him and we are back on track. So, all those weeds that begin to grow and are at the point of strangling us can be zapped on command, if we only ask. This doesn’t mean that conflict will be immediately eliminated from our lives; it is merely the starting point for God to come in and pull those weeds one by one.
We can further our faith that He is a committed Master Gardener when we study 2 Timothy 4:17 (“But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.”) How encouraging that we know God will not only be with us, but that He provides us the strength we need to be a testimony to His divine power. Our lives are a living testimony to His greatness.
In addition to the miracle growth in our own lives, we are a living example to those around us. Our spouses, children, families, and friends will all see our fruit ripening because we have taken the time to care for our spiritual garden and have recognized that we do not have a perfect green thumb at all times. Allowing Him to weed our garden when we have let the weeds to grow is a perfect testament to those around us. People begin to see our lives not only as living example of reality in God, but that we are not easily defeated when we neglect our gardens. As mothers we often feel pressured to be perfect without realizing that being supermom offers a false testimony to those around us. We serve others by being approachable, not judging, and allowing God to ripen our fruit by weeding our inequities. Whatever state your garden is in today, call on the Master Gardener and he will produce prize winning fruit within you.
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Let God Get You Organized!
May 19, 2009 by Leslie
Many of you are aware that I have been working on getting my home overhauled over the last few months. This process has taken a bit longer than I originally had planned for a variety of reasons; work schedule, lack of “homes” for stuff, loss of motivation, illness, and my attitude. Last week I posted on the Total Home Overhaul group about how God has been working on my attitude. This was a turning point for me. Prior to this change, my mind was consumed with the organizational changes I needed to do before anything else. Budget and down trodden thinking put a damper on this. I kept justifying why I couldn’t move forward because I didn’t have this or I didn’t have time to complete the other. As God worked me through my attitude issues, my eyes were opened to what I CAN do right now to get it together. When God answers, He answers BIG!
One of my biggest obstacles to overcome was lack of shelf space. Like many homemakers, homesteaders, and homeschoolers, books take up a LOT of space in our home. I had an entire hallway that was just piled with books; piled HIGH! When I couldn’t pile the books any higher, I started piling them in my office. After that they got piled in boxes and such in my office closet. I didn’t stop there because every flat surface was a potential space for piling books and notebooks. The hubby and I had been pricing different bookshelves, both pre-made and supplies for building them into the wall. To be honest, as much as I needed those shelves, I couldn’t bring myself to take money from our savings to complete the project. But each week brought more grumbles from me about how I could barely breathe in our home. It never occurred to me to stop buying books or look for other resources for shelves. I had been looking at yard sales, but I kept coming across those 2 level particle board shelves that bow when any weight is put on them. I wanted what I wanted and anything less just wouldn’t do. No surprise that God wasn’t answering me with that attitude! Once I allowed God to come in and transform my attitude, a solution was found.
The hubby asked me to come to our local Habitat for Humanity Re-Store to search for a small TV stand. Long story short, we had a big screen TV that had been sitting broken in our living room for almost 3 years. It took up a lot of space and since it didn’t work our bedroom became the living room; which drove me absolutely nutty. How many of you know how short a drive that is? But, I digress. The hubby had found a smaller flat screen for an absolute steal, but we had no place to put it; thus his idea to visit the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store.
These stores sell used furniture, appliances, linens, housing supplies, remodeling supplies etc. They sell pretty much anything but clothing. At any rate, we get there and the sparkle shown in my eyes immediately. The hubby said, “You are like a kid in a candy store!” That was true. Here’s how God answered my prayers for an inexpensive TV stand. Quickly my hubby located a piece that fit the bill and I said yes right away. It was perfect! However, I also found a treasure trove of other pieces, including two large shelving units that would fit our hallway and solve my book problem. Here is the final list of what I wanted: 2 large shelving units of solid wood, one round pillar table for a game table, a stand for our TV, a prayer chair, and an upholstered chair. The total for the furniture was tallied @ $320; which was a good deal as purchasing shelves for the hallway cost more than that, but of course I wasn’t satisfied with the price. I talked them down to $120. Yep, you read correctly; they came down $200. We came home with our pieces and I quickly set to work. But that is NOT all!
Our book pile issue is solved. Our game area is now solved with the use of the pillar table and 2 dining chairs that I had sitting in the garage that I had picked up for free on the road side during one of my evening walks. Our TV has a home and we now use our living room for living and my bedroom for uh…sleeping. I was able to place this darling and most comfy chair in my bedroom for a prayer chair (Prayer space for me complete!). Then I turned around and sold the broken TV for $50. Total cost of the overhaul of 5 rooms: $80!
The point in telling you my story is to inspire you to give your home issues to God. He is there for everything in your life. We often overlook these issues in our times of prayer and fellowship because they seem so mundane. But the reality is that the state of our home affects our lives. In the last week I have done so much overhauling with the help of my daughter, son, and his friends, that I can’t believe we are in the same house. There are still projects on my To Do List, but it is not overwhelming and I don’t feel as if I am drowning. My mind is in a better place. Just in time as one of my daughters was in need of undistracted Mom time this weekend. I was able to give that to her, because my mind wasn’t spinning in different directions due to clutter all about. I was able to concentrate on praying with and for her.
Let God work through you as you tackle organizational issues in your home. As you open yourself up and broaden your relationship with God by including those mundane issues you will find Him transforming you in fantastic ways. God will lasso much of the chaos allowing for the much needed simplicity to flow through your life and afford you the opportunity to truly walk with Him. When our homes are less cluttered, our lives are less chaotic. The result is that we are more able to focus on devoting time to Him and His purpose for our lives; and we are better be able to listen.
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Simple is as Simple Does
April 22, 2009 by Leslie
Simple is as simple does, is a credo I try to live by. I encourage others with small steps that can be used to bring simplicity to your life for the first time, or the thirty-first time. The fact is that even the simplest life can begin to become chaotic as life changes occur. Living a simple life is about the journey and the end result, as well as the learning process along the way. Taking small bits of time to record the process is instrumental in continuing forward. The simplest way to record this is to keep your records is to place notes in one special area of your planner, calendar, or Family Notebook. Another is to keep them logged in a small personal notebook that you are able to keep handy at all times. You never know when you will come across a neat idea, tip, or direction.
I am always amazed when it is time to review my life and see what needs to be trimmed in order to achieve the simple balance that is right for our family. I look back at the methods and choices we have made in the past, where we are, and our goals for the future. Why am I amazed? I always discover nuggets of information that I previously overlooked. Reviewing provides a time for evaluating all of those ideas and methods. I can easily access information about what worked, what didn’t, and why.
One of the best reasons to keep track of your journey to simplicity is that an effort, idea, or tip that worked in the past, may not work in the present. Something that failed in the past may be right for your family in the present. A task that did not fit your small family may be just what your larger family now needs. Sorting through these and knowing which to seriously consider is a matter for intimate prayer and counsel with your husband. I have found that our family runs the smoothest when I ask my children some questions about our lifestyle past, present, & future, take these answers and present them to the hubby and ask for his opinions and counsel, and take it to the Lord in prayer. Using this information I have been able to tweak our lives as needed to return to a simpler lifestyle when chaos is creeping in through the cracks or has flat out knocked the door down!
The reason I bring this process to your attention is that while our family has been recently tweaking our lives to regain simplicity due to unexpected jumbling, is that God has never steered us wrong. Our goal is to live within God’s will and purpose for our family. I practice what I preach. Most recently, the Holy Spirit has revealed to me that my priorities were in contradiction to God’s set of priorities for Christian living. My life is filled with all good things! I even consider the not so good things, such as my declining health over the last several months as a good thing because I have learned and grown so much. God uses all things for His good. Accepting and working with this will change your attitude and how you handle your own journey to simplicity. A willing and quiet attitude that is obedient to God’s purpose for your family will accomplish more than all the works you can ever do.
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Teaching Formal Elegance & Etiquette
Sometime ago I posted on my blog, Journey to Simplicity, about making each day special. I don’t mean in just a generic way, but a memorable way. I offered tips such as eating by candle light every night, using your good dishes for an everyday meal a few times per month, “dessert for dinner day,” among other things. Kids truly enjoy the special jolts and the memories created are forever.
Afterwards I began receiving emails that offered other ways families make every day special. I also began receiving questions pertaining to incorporating homeschooling lessons alongside these “special” occasions. Although some of my replies were a bit lengthy at times (I get so easily carried away with incorporating learning into life), I knew that from the great questions and ideas something was missing from so many of our lives– teaching formal elegance and etiquette.
Homeschoolers by nature are usually fairly relaxed. We don’t “do” a lot of formal. This means that we often wear our jammies to school in the morning, we wear our hair in a scruncii each day, or jeans and a T-shirt are the school uniform. The term “dressed up” to a homeschooler usually refers to costumes for a play, church attire, or period garb that coincides with a unit study. Etiquette may refer to the proper way to answer the phone, speech club presentations, or general manners. These are all worthy life lessons to be sure, but there are other more infrequently used lessons of etiquette that we never even think about teaching. These are lessons that have been so often overlooked in today’s culture that I have wondered if they have been lost entirely.
How often have you viewed a movie that has a scene set in a formal situation such as a dinner, ball, charity function, or attending a theater production that we don’t have in our common lives? I can think of countless titles which we have read about or viewed in a movie and one or more of my children have asked why we don’t have those anymore; and these are movies set in modern times. The fact is that most of us only encounter these situations a handful of times throughout our lives. However, this does not make learning about formal occasions any less worthy of teaching. In addition, these lessons can bring a truly FUN element to your school schedule.
Here are a few lesson ideas that can be incorporated into your schooling. If you are not familiar with the etiquette take the time to have fun learning right alongside your children.
Formal Table Settings
When I ask my children to set the table they quickly grab a fork, knife, and napkin for each setting and plunk it down; with an exception of soup night which is further simplified by the placement of a spoon and napkin only for each person. Take time to learn how to set a table for a formal meal. It is important to include the usage of each utensil and its placement. When do you place two forks at a setting? Why do some forks have three prongs while others have four? Do spoons go to the right or left of the dinner plate? How many plates are used in a formal dinner setting? How do you know which utensil to use with each course? Does the placement of a napkin give use any clues on what type of meal one will be eating? How many glasses should be available for each setting?
This can be a lot of fun even for the youngest littletons when you make it a game! Set a formal place setting. Have them study the place setting and then close their eyes. At this time remove a utensil or “misplace” it and then ask your children to open their eyes and ask, “What’s missing?” or “What is different?” For a Free Field Trip, consider taking your children to a local store that sells settings such as Linens ‘n Things, Bed Bath & Beyond, or Crate & Barrel. Take time to call ahead and speak with a manager before you go and inquire about the availability of a staff member who would be able to give a simple tour of the table settings department.
Different types of invitations
An invitation sets the stage for any formal affair. It tells the recipient a lot of vital information about an event. How does one begin the process of choosing the right invitation? Does paper matter? What information should be included on an invitation? What does RSVP mean? When is it appropriate to include a photo? Is there a standard for colors regarding seasons or types of events? What is an RSVP card and when should it be included? Why do some invitations contain tissue paper? How long does it take for invitations to be printed? What is the printing process? What size and weight are appropriate for what style invitations? Who places the postage on the invitations? How does one choose a printer? Should an invitation include graphics? Compare a simple invitation for a birthday party with a formal one for a graduation. For a Free Field Trip contact a local printer.
Different types of attire
Throughout each year we attend events that have specific dress codes. Each time we are in attendance I am amazed at how many people come dressed inappropriately. Spend an evening at the theater and you will find individuals who are dressed for a ball at Cinderella’s castle and those who show up in tattered jeans or short shorts and a barely covering the belly T-shirt. Which outfit is appropriate? Neither. Dress codes are barely remembered today, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t teach them. Find out what is appropriate to for boys and girls to wear to events such as weddings, charity functions, cotillions, Sunday morning church service, weddings, an evening at the theater, a graduation ceremony, a tea party, baptism, or a specific event coming up in your life. Have your children define the terms evening wear, business casual, formal wear, seasonal, etc and list events at which each are appropriate. How does one know what to wear to a function anyway? Are there differences among different regions, countries, and cultures? Does the time of day an event takes place make a difference? You can really open this topic up and with a study of specific clothing such as the differences in tuxedos. For a Free Field Trip visit a department store with a formal section. Ask for a few catalogs from the last season to use for at home activities.
Fancy Footwork
So often people do not know the steps for simple dances. If you were attending a wedding and the band played a waltz, would you know how to dance if asked? I didn’t either. Dancing has become a lost art, that is until the creation of Dancing with the Stars. When I called around to dance studios, I was repeatedly told that the show has boosted class interest and attendance levels. Teaching your children just two or three basic dances is really all they need to know. How does one know which dance is appropriate for which songs? What does tempo mean? What should your partner know? Are there rules for each partner? Who leads? What is leading? For a Free Field Trip contact a local dance studio and ask if they offer a free introductory class. If they don’t explain your lesson and ask if they would be willing to either offer a free class at their convenience or a free demonstration of different dances.
These are my thoughts, what are some of yours?
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
Choosing Your School Year Schedule
February 21, 2009 by Leslie
One of the most difficult tasks to accomplish with homeschooling is planning your schedule. We sit down a month or so before we are ready to begin school and we outline everything we want to accomplish. Then we plan out what we are going to accomplish each day of every week. We are going to get up and start school by 8 a.m. each day and finish by noon. Everything looks perfect. This is going to be the best year ever!
As the first week approaches 2 of my children come down with colds, church has asked me to substitute teach for the next month and I don’t have any lesson plans. My son decides he wants to join cub scouts, our local 4-H club starts up a new archery club that my kids want to join, and I find out that our co-op has 2 new classes in which we want to participate. I contemplate it for a moment, and determine that I will start our official school next week so I can begin to fit everything in and nurse my children back to health. Sometime during this week, I will sit down and adjust our schedule. This week delay turns into two. Before I know it, I am stressed and everything seems like drudgery.
Any of this ring true for you?
Believe it or not, you don’t have to let a setback such as the storyline above put the Kybosh on your schedule. Let’s start at the beginning. When you are making your schedule, you have to build in flexibility from the very start. You are going to have days and/or events that pop up unexpectedly. Build in some extra time by only planning lessons for 3-4 days per week, but stretching them over five days when possible. Another option is to build in an extra week into your over all schedule. If you work on a unit for five weeks, allow yourself six weeks so you have a few days to overcome some of life’s unexpected blunders.
Secondly, consider your overall plan. What are your goals? Do you want your children to know everything there is to know about simple machines? Perhaps you would like them to be detailed in their knowledge of the subject, but if life happens, you can refer to a list that will state your goals in order of priority. Consider yourself on the right path if you accomplish 3-5 of those goals with excellence. This does not mean you should strive for mediocrity, by any means. The more important focus is that your children are learning what is most important. Life happens and priorities need to be in place to allow for the ebb and flow of life. For example, if your child tires of simple machines, wrap up the study early and earmark the area to return to in small segments between other units. This is where your flexibility really comes in to play. If your child is not attending to the study well, breaking it up and placing it between other more interesting studies may be a key for you accomplishing all your goals, just in a different time frame than you originally planned.
You are not perfect. Say this out loud. Say it more audibly so everyone in the room can hear you. We all plan more than we will ever accomplish with our children. Do not let your focus on academics override other issues such as character, coping skills, and conflict resolution for example. If you ask any homeschool mom if she accomplishes every teaching assignment she originally planned with any given subject, the answer will be no. Many moms prefer to plan their entire year in advance, while others may plan by the quarter, month, or even semester. While planning the entire year does have its benefits, it can also put an undue stress on a mom when life gets her off track for a bit. Remember why you are homeschooling. If life hits you broadside, take a day or two to swallow and digest, before moving forward with the rest of your plan. Allow for check points throughout the year, so you can evaluate and adjust your schedule accordingly. No schedule is written in stone.
With anything you do, the number one best method to help with your scheduling issues is to take it to God in prayer. I often find myself asking Him to remind me of His desire for my life, the lives of my children, and my role as the primary educator. I often ask the silliest requests pertaining to schedule adjustment, but in addition I ask for correct motivation and proper attitude when I react to setbacks. This not only allows God to be in the driver’s seat, but it sets an excellent example to your children about scheduling in their own lives. Cutting back on activities outside of the home isn’t such a hardship when your children see that you are doing the same as well. Making scheduling a priority is important for all children to see. That may require you turning off all phones, screens, and other digital devices for a certain amount of time each day or it may require that one evening per week you will need to incorporate a music lesson, when you get behind for some reason. Isn’t this one of the reasons you chose to homeschool?
Lastly, I want to remind you to be honest with yourself about your family’s personality traits. Do not start an expensive time intensive science curriculum if your children are not overly interested in science and you aren’t either. You can spend the money more wisely by saving it, or choosing another curriculum that your family may enjoy. Try a less intense curriculum and supplement with easy and simple hands on activities. There are many tricks to scheduling, but if the method doesn’t fit your style, it will never be as effective as it could be.
Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.
