Write at Home: Sheila Wray Gregoire
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
Today we have Sheila Wray Gregoire joining us. Sheila is a syndicated parenting columnist and a popular speaker. The author of four books, including How Big Is Your Umbrella?, with more on the way, she loves encouraging women to forget about the dust bunnies under their beds and keep their focus on Jesus! She also has a passion for family, and together with her husband Keith speaks at Family Life marriage conferences. You can usually find her in Belleville, Ontario, where she homeschools her two daughters and knits. Preferably simultaneously.
Hi Sheila– we are so excited to hear from you today! We know you can teach us a lot about balancing not only writing and homeschooling but marriage too! Can you tell us about how your books can help us do that?
Sure! If you’re like me, you have lists going through your head all the time. I have laundry waiting to be folded. I need to do math. When did I vacuum last? And have I been even mildly affectionate to my husband lately? We live under a huge cloud of guilt and shoulds, especially homeschoolers, because so much rests on our shoulders.
What I try to do in my book To Love, Honor and Vacuum is give women a plan so that we can stop with all the guilt and just focus on what God’s priorities are. He cares about our kids’ hearts. He cares about our hearts. He cares about our marriages. And the rest may be important, but it’s further down the list. So in the book I help us organize and prioritize so we can get the important stuff right. After all, I find that homeschooling works better when kids respect you. When they are well disciplined, they listen. When they aren’t, they run all over the place. So even getting homeschooling done relies first and foremost on good parenting!
Of course, just because we prioritize relationships doesn’t mean that we don’t clean. No one wants to fear catching a communicable disease in one’s kitchen. But what the book does do is give us a new way of thinking about our homes so that we can get the cleaning done faster and focus on what’s really important!
Then, in Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight, I talk specifically to women who want to feel more in the mood. Is it even possible to turn up your libido? I wrote the book as a research project, and I like to say that my husband really enjoyed it!
How long have you been homeschooling? What led you to this lifestyle choice?
We’re in our ninth year of homeschooling now. My oldest daughter went to junior kindergarten and senior kindergarten, and then we pulled her out for grade one. She’s in high school now. For us it was a twofold decision: she was already reading in kindergarten, and we wanted her to be challenged academically, and we wanted some control over our family schedule. I just found that with piano and gymnastics and kids’ club night we were running around constantly. With homeschooling you can do a lot of those activities during the day, so you still have a family life at night!
Though our initial reasons were mostly academic, though, over the years we’ve realized how much of a spiritual impact it has had having our girls home. They both are really strong in their faith, and both chose to be baptized in 2008. They’re really bright, and have a heart for missions. They talk openly about their faith (far more so than I did at their age!). And they are sweet girls. I don’t think that would have happened had they been in school. So we couldn’t be happier.
Do you find that writing meshes seamlessly with homeschooling or… not?
Let’s get one thing straight. Writing doesn’t mesh seamlessly with ANYTHING! Writing is tough. You’re not always in the mood to write when you can grab those brief chunks of time, and it’s often hard slogging. If you want to write, you have to feel a call to it, and you have to pray for God’s insight into your schedule. It will never, ever be easy, and it won’t always be rewarding, either. But if God has given you that passion, He will give you the discipline and the time, too.
I have found over the years different challenges with finding time to write. When the kids were younger, I tended to write at nap time. And when they stopped napping, I could usually find some time in the afternoon, w hen they were done their schoolwork for the day and were playing.
As they’ve gotten older and work longer hours at school, I often find I write in the mornings, when they’ve been given their assignments. The afternoons we keep for going over their work and talking about social issues, current events, newspapers, etc.
What does a typical day look like for you and your children?
In the morning they do the basics—math, grammar, Latin, piano practice. They do that mostly without me now (they’re in grade 8 & 10). When they were younger I would assign two or three subjects at a time and go over the lesson for that day, and then they would go work for an hour before coming back. Now I find I can give them a whole morning to do. In the afternoon we have fun talking about controversial issues (I love politics), and sometimes joining our homeschooling coop for hockey, or debating, or some other courses. Around 4 we all tidy up the house. They do their chores and I start making dinner, which I find really relaxing. That’s often when I get my phone calls made for the day, too!
During the day our house often looks really chaotic, but by 6 we’re nice and settled. So if you’re going to drop by, pick the right time!
Do you find that homeschooling feeds into your writing, making it richer?
I can’t believe how much I know because of homeschooling! I have two Master’s Degrees, one in Sociology and one in Public Administration, and I can confidently say that my grade 10 daughter knows more about politics and history now than I did when I graduated. I can’t believe how much I was never taught. So I feel like I’m much better informed. And the homeschooling community is really a rich community from a philosophical sense, too. We think deeply about things. We think our heritage is important, and we learn about it. We’re not caught up in current fads. Those who are trained in a homeschooling approach, then, make better cultural analysts and better psychologists!
What are your best time management tips for busy moms?
Here are two. Number one: get your kids to do as much as is humanly possible. And more is probably humanly possible than you think. I remember reading Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little Town on the Prairie, and being amazed that Laura and Carrie looked after the house for a week on their own while Ma and Pa were taking Mary to blind school. They cleaned the whole house and polished everything, because they knew how to do it. Our kids need to know how to do it. We’re doing them a favour when we get them involved in chores. One of the things I talk about a lot in To Love, Honor and Vacuum is how to instigate a good system of chores for your kids that is easy to do, easy to stick to, and easy to appreciate! Instead of always doing it yourself because, after all, you can do it better, I explain why it’s important to train the kids. After all, the best gift you can give your future daughter-in-law is a son who cleans toilets! So assign chores so it’s not all on your shoulders.
Another life-saver for me is doing things in a particular order. Tuesday, for instance, is catching up on laundry, changing the sheets, and ironing. Wednesday is vacuuming and mopping. What that means is that on Monday I don’t have to feel guilty if the laundry is overflowing, because I know Tuesday is coming. Likewise, on Tuesday, after I’ve done the ironing, I don’t have to feel like I have to get out a mop, because Wednesday is coming. If everything has its day, then it puts a limit on what I have to do today. I don’t have to feel like I need to constantly be working, because I know everything will get done in its time.
Finally, one thing we’ve tried to do in homeschooling is stick all errands on one day. On Wednesday my kids have piano, so that’s when I do the banking, the grocery shopping, and my errands, because I’m out anyway. Instead of having to run out everyday, I try to do it all at once. That makes for a much less hectic schedule! I mention this, and a whole lot of other homeschooling tips, in the appendix of To Love, Honor and Vacuum, because I know how frantic many homeschooling moms often feel!
You offer resources for beginning writers and speakers. Tell us about those.
I’m so excited about this new endeavour! I have a dream of equipping other speakers to tell their stories in a way that really changes lives. I believe that God has given each of us a unique message, and some of us He has called specifically to speak and write. But that doesn’t mean that we automatically know how to do it well! Training conferences, however, can cost a lot of money! So I have a number of 90 minute teleseminars and courses you can take by email (I don’t mark them; it’s all for your benefit) that can launch your speaking ministry in the right direction! And I’m teaching writers how to create products they can sell on the internet, like homeschooling curriculum, e-books, and more, so that they can generate income from home!
You can find all those teleseminars and e-courses here: http://sheilawraygregoire.com/speakingwritingresourcess199.php. There’s something for everyone!
And I also host a BlogTalkRadio show every Tuesday at noon EST called “Use Your Words”, specifically for speakers and writers! If you can take a lunch break from homeschooling around that time and you want to join me, I have lots of tips then! And it’s free. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cwa-radio
If you want to be notified when a new teleseminar or course is coming up, sign up here: http://sheilawraygregoire.com/speakinginterestc413.php. I’m hoping to host an online speakers’ conference soon, so that you can take training from home!
Thanks Sheila for sharing from your wisdom. We are so glad you took the time to encourage us!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Write at Home: Gina Conroy
November 23, 2009 by Marybeth
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
Today we have Gina Conroy joining us. She is the mastermind behind the popular writing website Writer… Interrupted and an inspiration to many writing mamas!
Hi Gina– thanks so much for joining us today! We are delighted to have you here. Tell us about your homeschooling experience. What led you to it? How long have you homeschooled, etc?
I always loved the idea of homeschooling but told myself I would never homeschool because of a personality clash between me and my oldest. Ironically, he’s the reason I decided to homeschool. Although a very bright boy (and extremely inquisitive) he had trouble with self control and calling out in school. He often corrected the teacher and didn’t seem to have the self control to sit still in a private school setting. We tried two different schools before we had him tested for everything from learning disabilities to giftedness. He scored gifted with impulsive ADHD tendencies. It was then that I knew a private school setting wasn’t the best place for him. I wasn’t sure homeschooling was either, but I was willing to give it a shot. His younger brother was excelling in the private school but I couldn’t see juggling a school schedule with a homeschool schedule so I brought them both home and homeschooled them from 2nd and 4th grade for the next three years.
I’d love to tell you homeschool was the answer, and everything was bliss. Unfortunately homeschooling raised a million more questions and at least three times a week I “threatened” to send them back to school. I still wonder if it was all a part of God’s plan, but either way, we learned and cried and grew as a family. Now they are both thriving in a small classical Christian school and my oldest is a model student. Maybe he just needed a few more years to mature, maybe homeschooling taught him what he needed to learn for going back to school. All I know is that God worked all things out for good.
Currently I’m homeschooling my two youngest with intentions of putting them in the same school in a couple of years. The second time around is going so much better. These two are easier to homeschool and I’m wiser and not as militant about their education as I was with the first two. We’re on a more relaxed schedule and they’re still learning, plus they now attend classes two days a week at the classical Christian school where I teach creative writing to 2-5th graders. Yet, with having them in school I am realizing that they are behind in a few areas and if I want to get them up to speed for sending them to school we need to work harder.
You have an active website, Writer… Interrupted. Can you tell us how that got started and what the site is all about?
Writer… Interrupted began out of my own need to connect with writing moms and homeschoolers to figure out how in the world they balanced it all. I started a small blog and then invited others to blog with me. In the course of a few years it grew into a group blog and then an online community. Currently the site is under construction and I hope one day to convert it to a monthly magazine with columns devoted to balancing life, work, homeschooling as well as columns on craft and marketing. Basically, I want it to be a one-stop place for busy, interrupted writers to find all they need to keep them informed, educated and motivated in their writing life. I have all the writers lined up, all I need is the time and money to move forward with the project. Not sure when that will be but the NING community is alive and active!
You clearly have a passion to encourage other writers. How have you been encouraged by other writers?
My interviews with over 100 moms and dads have been extremely encouraging and given me what I need to keep going. Their candid accounts of balancing life and writing has also been convicting to me at times. Especially during the times my life has been out of balance whether spiritually or relationally. The biggest encouragement I’ve found through these interviews is that most of them acknowledged that, when their priorities begin to slip, they just redirect their focus, ask the Lord to set them straight and start fresh.
What are some of your best tips for moms who want to balance homeschooling and writing?
Make a plan that works for you. Every year my homeschool schedule changes, so does my writing schedule. Just because it worked last year doesn’t mean it will work this year. Last year I woke up early to write, but found that I’d go past my allotted time because my kids would sleep in and then our homeschool time would be cut short. This year, I’m determined to homeschool in the morning and find other times to get the writing in. Not sure when that will be, but I’m looking for opportunities!
Where are you on your publishing journey?
Somewhere between Egypt and the Promised Land! I’ve had two completed manuscripts make the rounds and though I’ve received positive feedback from editors on my writing, the stories weren’t fits. My agent Chip MacGregor has been a huge source of encouragement. One thing that keeps me writing are his words, “you’re too good not to have something out there.” It keeps me focused on the writing and not the rejections. Currently I have two story ideas he’s excited about and the editors I’ve spoken with so far have been positive.
You are a member of ACFW, the American Christian Fiction Writers. How has joining that group and attending their conference been helpful to you?
I’ve learned so much from the annual conferences and from talking with people on the email loop, but it’s the relationships with other writers that have been most valuable. I’ve meet others in similar life circumstances and have seen many friends published. This is also bittersweet, but through it all God’s been bringing me to a place of contentment in my writing life and I’m truly at peace with what he was planned in my publishing journey. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like the pace God’s set for me, but He knows best and I trust His plan.
Without the people I’ve met through ACFW I wouldn’t be as far along in my writing journey as I am. They’re not only encouraging, but give of their time and knowledge freely. I’m currently president of the local chapter and the members of ACFW have been so generous with their time, coming to speak to our group for little or no compensation.
To learn more about ACFW, go to www.acfw.com.
Finally, what would you say to that mom out there who has the dream of writing a book tucked in her heart?
Be patient!! God’s got a plan for your writing and even though you might not be able to devote all the time you want to writing, you can still be doing other things like learning and attending writers conferences. And most of all, don’t make the mistake I did and put all your energy into your writing so that there’s nothing left for your family. I’m still trying to learn the balance between family and writing and know I don’t have to give it up completely, but when it becomes the most important thing in my life, I do know it has to take a back seat to what IS really important. Family, people and relationships!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Write at Home: Tricia Goyer
October 26, 2009 by Marybeth
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
Tricia Goyer is the author of many books, the most recent being Blue Like Playdough, a motherhood memoir. She writes both fiction and nonfiction and shares honestly and transparently about her life through her writing. As a homeschooling mom, she also balances educating her children with the responsibilities and demands of an active writing life. We are excited to hear from her today!
Tricia, how long have you been homeschooling? What made you decide to homeschool?
I’ve been homeschooling since 1994. Wow, that’s a long time ago! I started homeschooling after John and I met some homeschooling families. The #1 thing that drew our attention was how amazing, friendly, caring, God-centered, and family-focused their teens were. We wanted kids like that!
Which came first, the homeschooling or the writing?
Homeschooling for sure. I’d homeschool from 8:30-noonish. I was there with them, working through the books, saying the memory verses, doing the crafts, singing the songs. 
Then there were the activities: music, art, swimming, soccer. Then … writing would come. I tried to write 2 hrs a day during their playtime. The older they got the more independent they got and the more time I had to write. Now I’m only homeschooling one child and there is a lot more writing time. From the beginning I knew the kids would be grown and gone and I’d still have time to write. It’s how it’s worked out! I’m glad I focused on the kids when I had the chance.
Did you worry about balancing the two?
Yes, of course. I continually prayed for God to “turn my heart home.” Writing was fun, exciting, rewarding. Homeschool is all those things at times … but usually not often and not all at once.
What are some of the creative solutions you have come up with to help with that delicate balance?
I got the kids involved with chores (which made more writing time for me and home ec for them!). I picked one day for all my errands and wrote my priorities down throughout the week. I got less rigid about housekeeping. I traded off teaching with a friend. I’d teach her kids one day, she’d teach mine the other–giving us both extra time. I spent time every morning in prayer and Bible Study. It was there I found strength for all my needs.
Tell us about what you are working on right now.
I’m working on a few novels and a true story about Kristen Anderson who tried to commit suicide by laying down in front of a train. It’s a balancing act for sure! I also had a new novel come out: The Swiss Courier which I co-wrote with Mike Yorkey–a fellow author and history buff.
Your new book, Blue Like Play Dough, is a memoir of motherhood. Tell us a bit about why it would appeal to a homeschool mom.
Blue Like Play Dough is like a glimpse into my life and heart. In the book I share stories of ways God stretched me and shaped me. I was very transparent and it’s not always pretty within those pages! I share stories about raising kids, volunteering, and, yes, homeschooling. I share about my worries and fears and struggles, and a lot of readers have written me to know that they can relate!
I read that early on in your career, you received an award at Mt.Hermon Writer’s Conference. Can you tell us about that award and how that served to confirm your calling as a writer?
I wrote for many, many years with no book contract. I had a great agent and many things would “almost” get accepted only to be rejected. I wondered if I should give up. Then one year God gave me an amazing novel idea. He also opened the door for me to write a book for Teen Moms for MOPS International. That same year the faculty at the conference voted me as “Writer of the Year.” It was like streams in the desert!
Do you recommend writer’s conferences to moms who write? If so, what advice would you give to that mom who worries about having the time or money to attend one?
I HIGHLY recommend writer’s conferences. 1. You get to LEARN about writing. 2. You get to MEET editors and agents. 3. You get to CONNECT with other writers. If I look about over my career I can say 100% of my contracts/successes have roots somewhere in a writer’s conference.
Also, I know it’s hard to leave your family and spend that money. I babysat and saved money for a year to attend my first conference, yet the amount of material and connections you get in that one week makes it worth it!
Finally, the proof is in the facts. I’ve attended Mt. Hermon Christian Writer’s Conference 13 times. That proves how valuable I think it is!
Finally, how have you seen your writing benefit your children?
One of the cool things about homeschooling is that it’s not only about teaching, it’s about modeling. I’ve modeling what it’s like to tune in to God, to study, to research, to work hard, to follow a dream. My kids have seen what God can do for someone submitted to him.
Not only that my kids have benefitted by meeting amazing people. How many kids can say they’ve had world-famous authors around their table … or amazing storytellers tell them stories as they lay in bed. How cool is that?!
Thanks Tricia for doing this– how can we keep up with you online?
You’re welcome. I love connecting:
www.triciagoyer.com
www.facebook.com/tricia.goyer
www.twitter.com/triciagoyer
I look forward to meeting you there!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Serious Quiet Time
October 2, 2009 by Marybeth
Are you in need of a serious quiet time? Time to reflect and ponder, time to shut out the distractions of life so you can hear from God more clearly? Is your life weighing on you so heavily that you need Him to breathe His life into yours again?
“Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.” Hosea 10:12 (NIV)
My friend Dawn wrote about her serious need for quiet time in the midst of raising three children. With her permission, I am sharing an entry from her journal with you:
“At first I thought I was going to take a nap, but God had other plans for my serious quiet time that didn’t involve sleep, or blogging, or making a phone call. He got my attention and we had a heart to heart. Wow. The power of getting quiet and being still in front of the Lord is amazing. I had my Bible, my journal, and my Ipod. I listened to two songs that have been really speaking to me. I was able to really talk and listen to God and He revealed so many things to me in this hour that we had together. I realized a list of things that I needed to let go of, to set free and put into His hands. I didn’t want to carry the burden of these things any longer and He didn’t want me to. He also brought it to my attention that I have been asking Him for direction and answers and I haven’t been available to listen to what He has been telling me. I thought He was silent, because that does happen, but He wasn’t. I just wasn’t listening.
My serious quiet time is something I realized I have been missing over the last few months. This experience is a necessity that I forgot about, and that can’t happen any longer. He is the strength and the answer to what I need to live a life full of joy. So often I overlook having a quiet time. I pray a lot during the day, but a serious quiet time—where I can reflect and listen—I put aside. I become too busy to stop, be still, and be amazed by Him, and when I forget, I am lost. My days don’t go right, I get nothing done, and all along I had the answer right in front of me—look to Him! He has the answers, the directions, the strength, the comfort, the companionship and the love I need.”
Dawn’s words echoed within my heart, as I have had the same experience and the same longing. I know how dry my soul becomes without daily watering from the Living Water. I know that those times when I most feel like crawling in bed and pulling the covers over my head are the very times I need to resist the temptation to give in to my physical exhaustion and focus instead on my spiritual exhaustion. I have learned that many times, nourishing myself through a serious quiet time with God alleviates my physical exhaustion as well. I am supernaturally filled by these serious quiet times. I think that many times, we are so consumed by the here and now that we forget all about tapping into this amazing resource. And yet, I know that, just as Dawn wrote, the very source we need is right there waiting for us to remember.
One thing that stood out to me about Dawn’s experience is that her quiet time was by no means structured. She didn’t check off a prayer to-do list, didn’t feel the need to follow some proven format for instant communication with God. Instead, she simply focused on worship, and listening, and hearing from God. She allowed Him to minister to her heart, to comfort her as only He could. I think sometimes we make so much of the quiet time, we forget that the key is to simply make much of Him. Dawn got back to her first love in that hour she spent with the God of the Universe. She removed the noise and the distractions and devoted time to Him alone. She honored Him, and He honored her in return.
I want to get serious about quiet time. And I don’t mean a five minute morning devotional I can check off my to-do list, or a list of prayer requests to work my way through methodically. Instead I want to have more consistent quiet times as Dawn described. I want to take these precious moments and offer them up to God. I want to experience the joy of giving Him more than my minimum and celebrate life in the overflow.
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Write at Home: Leanna Ellis
September 28, 2009 by Marybeth
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
Leanna Ellis is a writer, homeschool mom and keeper of many pets. Today we get to hear about how she writes at home!
Hi Le, thanks so much for joining us today! Can you tell us a bit about your work and your family?
Hi, Marybeth! Thanks so much for having me here! I write quirky women’s fiction, plus I homeschool our two children, a boy in 6th grade and a girl in 5th. Besides that, my husband and I have a menagerie of three dogs (one being a hyper puppy) and a surly cat.
You were once a writer of secular romances but switched to Christian fiction– explain what prompted that change.
That’s true. When my two children were born, fifteen months apart, I was busy writing romances. I think I suffered some burnout as I wrote 4 books from when my son was born to when he turned a year, plus I was pregnant with my second for 6 months of that time. But it wasn’t truly burnout in that I had other story ideas floating around in my head. Part of me wanted to spend more time with my characters and not have to rush so in telling their stories. So I made a tough decision and walked away from publishing for a while. When I was pregnant with my first child, a very difficult pregnancy with a lot of fears and questions about the health of my son, God really began to do a major work in my heart. My son was born with a hole in his heart which thankfully closed on its own, but God really changed mine. So for the first time, I gave my writing to the Lord and prayed about what He wanted me to write. For a few years, while I continued praying, I was also growing my writing and discovering my voice and what I wanted to write. I truly thought He wanted me to continue writing for the secular market but with a foundation of spiritual issues presented in the stories. After I’d been trying to sell Elvis Takes a Back Seat for a while, and feeling like I was hitting my head against a stone wall, I came across a CBA (Christian Bookseller’s Association) editor’s blog. This editor was discussing how the inspirational market was beginning to reach out to the secular market. I had an incredible visceral response to the blog which surprised me. So I began praying about it, asking God if He wanted me to suddenly move toward the inspirational market. I began to rework my manuscript, tugging those spiritual threads more toward the surface. Within three months, I had an agent … and a few months after that a publisher. God really began to open doors. One of those doors was with my publisher and that my book became their launch title. So it was all timing. HIS timing.
Your kids go to a university model school. Can you tell us a bit about that and how it fits with homeschooling? Also, what made you decide to go with that choice for your family?
About three years ago, I had already been homeschooling for a few years, and I felt like I’d exceeded my teaching abilities. My background is teaching elementary education with an emphasis on reading and the early grades. My husband and I really believed in providing a classical education for our children. Plus, we wanted to provide foreign language instruction, and I’m handicapped in that I only speak English. We had our eye on a university model school for several years and knew several people who went. Basically, the children attend two days a week. The other days are spent at home doing their lessons. The parent is also considered a teacher but does not have to do direct instruction. The teachers at the school do that. Mostly I grade papers, do remedial work and keep the kids on task. Friday classes are provided for extra subjects. We have really enjoyed our two years there. We still have many of the benefits of homeschooling but also benefits of a private school. Our thinking when we began homeschooling was to provide the best education we could for our children in whatever form that might be. We try to be flexible in that we want to follow God’s path for our children. We’ve learned one particular way does not always fit all children or families. What a great time we live in that we have so many options as parents to benefit our children.
You have a book that was released recently. Can you tell us a little about it?
Ruby’s Slippers came out in April. It’s sort of a Wizard of Oz meets Cinderella story. When Dottie Meyers loses her ‘no place like home’ during a Kansas tornado, she wakes up to find a pair of ruby slippers left by her father who abandoned his family thirty years ago. With her sister hot on her trail to find the treasured ruby slippers, Dottie travels a yellow brick road with three friends to find her father. No wizard can solve her problems. Only the love of a heavenly father can heal her wounds and give her the desires of her heart. There’s no place like … the heart for God’s healing touch.
Can you share a great time-management tip or two that you have discovered as you have worked to balance your writing and homeschooling?
I’ve learned over the years to give myself plenty of grace. God certainly does! There are days when I don’t get up early enough. Or I need an afternoon nap. Or a child gets sick and I don’t get any work done. For three weeks this past February, my father was in the hospital. During that time, I was driving the kids to and from school and to and from the hospital which was almost an hour from us. At the hospital, I couldn’t concentrate with nurses, doctors and visitors walking into the room at all hours. But I no longer beat myself up over bumps in the road. Things happen. Amazingly, I was still able to meet my deadline. Definitely a dose of help from God. Tomorrow, as Scarlett, so aptly said, is another day. I’ve also (and am still learning) to do things in little chunks. This includes cleaning the house. If I do a little bit every day, progress is made. 5 minutes every day adds up throughout the week. And this is true for my writing. Whereas I might not be able to write as long or as much per day as I once did before kids and homeschooling, I can write little bits here and there.
Finally, what advice would you give to a mom who has a dream of being a writer?
We can all say we don’t have time for the things we want to pursue. We’re all busy. But at some point you just have to quit talking or thinking about it and do it. Just write. Give yourself thirty minutes a day to write. If you can’t squeeze it in during nap times (which I so miss!), then get up thirty minutes early. Moms have told me, “But I’m not a morning person.” Neither am I. I trained myself to get up early and work. You can too. When my babies were young, I’d write when they napped. My son, unfortunately, only took 30 minute naps. So I wrote during those 30 minutes. I produced 4 books that year. It can be done. John Grisham wrote his first book during lunch. A page a day adds up to a 356 page book by the end of the year. So, no excuses, just write.
Thanks so much for taking time to share with us. We all could stand to learn a lot from you!
Thank you, Marybeth! I hope my answers will help someone else.
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Write at Home: Featuring Ariel Allison Lawhon
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
This month we are excited to welcome Ariel Allison Lawhon to Write At Home!
First things first, you had an unusual childhood. Can you tell us about it? And how it influenced you as both a writer and a homeschooling mom?
My childhood was spent atop the Rocky Mountains in a home with no electricity or running water (think Laura Ingalls meets the Hippie Movement). We didn’t have television in our home until I was almost twelve so we had to find alternative forms of entertainment. For well over a decade my mother read to us by the light of a kerosene lantern. By the time I was five years old I knew every character in the Chronicles of Narnia by name. As far as I was concerned, J.R.R. Tolkien, George MacDonald, L.M. Montgomery, and Charles Dickens were household names.
My mother loved books and she loved to read them to her children. I owe my passion for the written word to her alone. I first learned how powerful stories can be while curled up next to a pot belly stove during snowstorms. Even at a young age I understood that Aslan was a type of Jesus, and because I loved Aslan I later came to love Jesus. So I longed to write stories that had meaning and purpose. That desire never wavered through the years.
Tell us about your family.
My husband and I have four boys ages six and under: London, Parker, Marshall, and Colby. I often wish that my kids were sedate but the truth is that they have two speeds: running and asleep. As such, I have learned to embrace life on fast forward. The energy level and noise level in our home is insane. I am often drowning in mind-numbing amounts of camouflage. But in the end I love this crazy, loud life of mine and I wouldn’t change a thing.
When did you first start writing?
I have known that I wanted to write since I was five years old but there is one person (aside from my mother) who charted the course for my writing career: my high school English teacher, Mrs. Wilson. I know it sounds a bit cliché, but the time I spent in Mrs. Wilson’s class was a turning point in my life. At the end of my freshman year she heard about me in the teachers lounge. Apparently a few of my teachers mentioned that I was a decent writer and she got wind of it. So one day after Algebra (I still have nightmares about all things math) she approached me in the hallway and asked if I’d take her Creative Writing class the following year. I did. And by Christmas she abandoned her lesson plan and sent me in the computer lab to write. To this day she is the biggest cheerleader I’ve ever had when it came to my writing. I wouldn’t be doing this if she hadn’t shown such an interest in me or invested so much in my development.
What books have you had published?
Although this is my first novel, I’ve co-written a number of non-fiction works and children’s books: Daddy Do You Love Me: a Daughter’s Journey of Faith and Restoration (New Leaf Press, 2006), Jesus: Dead or Alive (Regal Books, 2009), and the Justin Case series of children’s books (Harvest House, 2010).
Which do you prefer to write– nonfiction or fiction? Why?
Fiction, hands down. I love telling stories. Or, as my husband says, I love “making stuff up!” Every writer portrays themselves on paper whether consciously or not. There are bits and pieces of me in each character: hopes, dreams, struggles, sin, fear. As creative people, writers mimic God in the way he created. To a certain extent, I think we all make our characters “in our own image.” I write fiction because it gives me a chance to create and I feel God’s pleasure when I do.
Your new book is fiction. What gave you the idea to write it and how long did it take you?
In the Spring of 1995, I stumbled across an article in Life Magazine on the Hope Diamond. The two-page spread showed Michelle Pheiffer wearing the jewel and gave a brief history of the legendary curse. I knew instantly that it should to be a novel. Being the curious gal that I am, I dug around and was surprised to find that although most people were familiar with the curse, no one had done anything with the concept. So I began researching and writing and then my novel, eye of the god, was born. I started the process fourteen years ago this spring.
Your novel was recently chosen for the She Reads Book Club. Can you tell us a little about the club and what that will mean for your book?
She Reads is the new fiction book club sponsored by Proverbs 31 Ministries and my novel was chosen as one of the three initial selections. Each quarter, She Reads selects three Christian novels that set the standard in storytelling. I am honored to be part of this group and will be participating in a number of activities such as blog appearances, conference calls, and interviews. More information can be found at www.shereadsblog.blogspot.com.
Share what a typical day (ha!) looks like at your house?
My children wake up at the crack of dawn. They come by it honestly – they get it from their daddy. I, on the other hand, am not fully awake until 10:00. So we typically start slow in the mornings (for my benefit). Since I’m only in my second year of home schooling our kids, things are not too complicated. After breakfast I do basic housekeeping with the boys: a load or two of laundry, empty the dishwasher, makes beds, tidy the kitchen. And then we plunge into school. I try to get the harder subjects like math and geography done in the morning while concentration levels are high. We also spend a lot of time reading and working puzzles and writing on the dry erase board in the morning. For some reason my boys are much happier doing handwriting and spelling on the whiteboard than in notebooks – and I don’t mind as long as they enjoy the process.
Before lunch I often send them out to play and burn off excess energy. So far all of my children seem to be hands-on learners, so I encourage them to get their hands dirty (literally) and explore. That often means digging holes in the back yard while searching for earthworms or collecting pine cones, or catching bugs and lizards or wrestling with our dog. They ask a lot of questions, and while it usually drives me to distraction, much of our day is spent finding the answers.
After lunch I put the two babies down for a nap and work on reading and phonics with my first grader and kindergartner. For each subject they complete with a good attitude during the day, they earn ten minutes of computer time in the afternoons. At the moment, they love playing on www.kidzui.com (a fantastic child internet browser that is safe and interactive). Once their school work is done, they are free to play on the computer, in their room, or outside. I’d like to say that is our “quiet” time but things rarely stay quiet. This is my down time, when I return e-mails and phone calls, blog, research, or prop my eyelids open with crow bar (is it just me or is 2:00 in the afternoon a brutal time of day for mommies with little ones?).
By 4:00 we are on the downward slope of our day: dinner preparation, another round of laundry, tidying the house, baths, the usual stuff. We have dinner together as a family each night and then get the boys to bed. Afterwards my husband and I usually spend some time on our back patio enjoying the silence. I imagine our days are very similar to other families who teach their many little children at home: an odd mixture of wonder and exhaustion.
Of course, that is just the ideal. Our days have been known to descend into chaos or get sucked up by errands. We live in a small town so we don’t spend too much time in the car, but I do feel as though Wal-Mart has become a part of my daily routine. We just make it work, you know? We do what we have to do in order to keep everyone fed, clothed, taught, and rested. It works for our family and we are learning to delight in the dailyness of it all.
When do you write?
Whenever I can: before my children wake up, while they nap, or after they go to bed. Once we had our fourth child it became increasingly difficult to keep a consistent writing schedule. So these days I give it to God in the morning and ask that He provide the moments I need. And he always does. I keep my laptop open on the island in my kitchen so it’s always there when I need to jot down a thought, a snippet of dialogue, or a quick scene. It has become part of the ebb and flow of my daily life instead of something I set apart at certain times. I’m sure things will change as the dynamics of my family shift.
Give us one of your best time-saving tips.
I’ll give you my top four.
Cook in bulk. Whenever I make a meal, I double the ingredients and freeze half for later. I love not having to worry about what is for dinner – just pull it out of the freezer, throw it in the oven, and I’m ready to go.
Get your children involved in housework. It took time teaching them on the front end, but now my boys empty the dishwasher, put their laundry away, make their beds, collect the dirty clothes from around the house, and clean their bathroom. We are working on adding other things to their daily routine but they are already a huge help around the house.
Plan your meals in advance. I plan our meals for two weeks at a time. I write everything out, make a list, load the kids in the van, and head to Wal-Mart. It is not fun. And you wouldn’t believe the looks (not to mention comments) I get, but we save time and money when we plan our meals and do all of our shopping at once.
Wake up before your children. Admittedly, I am not a morning person. But when I get up before my boys, it gives me a chance to prepare for my day. I spend some time in the Word and I spend some time praying for my family. And then I determine what needs to happen that day. Since my kids hit the ground running, I have to be ready to go when they are.
What are you working on now?
Several new novels, countless home improvement projects, and an unruly flowerbed that refuses to stay weeded. As much as I tend to think that my kids are the ones who never stop, I’m starting to realize that I am the whirling dervish in our home!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Write at Home: Bonita Lillie
July 27, 2009 by Marybeth
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
This month we get to meet a wonderful friend and writer, Bonita Lillie. Bonita is an inspiring person with lots of great wisdom to share. We are glad she agreed to share with us at Write At Home!
Bonita, you loved to write but were reluctant to put yourself out there at first. Can you share some of the reasons for that?
I think it was primarily a lack of confidence coupled with a lack of knowing how to go about it. I thought published writers were special people, sort of like Hollywood stars. It took a while for me to realize that ordinary people like me could actually succeed in writing. God caused my path to cross with some published writers and editors and I realized that they were no different than me. They encouraged me to go for it and I did.
God has opened up some amazing doors for you to write in the homeschooling world. Can you share what you have done and a little bit about upcoming projects?
A few years after I started homeschooling my own children, a friend asked if I would teach her kids to write. I was reluctant to do so because even though writing came naturally for me I didn’t think I could teach anyone else how to do it. At the same time another friend opened a bookstore and asked me teach writing classes there. I taught the first class with great fear and trepidation.
Since I couldn’t find a writing curriculum I wanted to teach, I created my own. Over the next couple of years I created several other curriculum and the classes became very popular. In an effort to meet the increasing demand for classes, I produced a DVD/handbook curriculum called Hands-On Essays as a test pilot to see if it would sell. I took it to the North Carolina Home Educators Convention and a publisher saw it and offered me a publishing contract.
Currently, I’m working fast and furiously with my publisher to produce the curriculum for all the classes that I’ve taught. I also have a few homeschooling books in mind and would eventually like to branch out into writing books for women.
You hosted a writer’s group in your home for a while. What were some of the blessings of doing that? Do you recommend that women who want to write get involved in writer’s groups?
The biggest blessing for me was watching women who didn’t think they could write present their work to the group and suddenly realize that other people really liked what they had written. We had some awesome writers in that group!
I think writer’s groups are very beneficial as long as the atmosphere is positive and uplifting. Writer’s groups offer accountability and the chance to give and receive helpful feedback about your writing. Not to mention, it’s very motivating to meet with other people who get it and don’t glaze over when you talk about writing!
You produce a free weekly newsletter for writers that has really grown in subscribers. Tell us about that.
When I disbanded the writer’s group that met in my home I wanted a way to stay in touch and provide continual encouragement and helpful writing hints for the ladies in the group and other writers the Lord brought across my path. I decided to write a weekly email for a few weeks to see if it would be well received. I’m currently in the third year of writing that weekly email. It’s one of my most favorite things to write.
As the number of subscribers grew, some starting asking about archives of the emails they had missed. This year I started a writing blog to house those archives and to offer lots of other tidbits of interest to writers.
Anyone wanting to subscribe to the weekly emails can contact me at thewritingwell@carolina.rr.com to be added to the list.
What projects would you like to tackle in the future?
During the filming of the DVD portion of Hands-On Essays, I realized that I really enjoy the combination of writing and filming. I’d like to continue traveling down that vein and see where it leads. I could easily see myself writing and producing lots of entertaining and educational things for kids, maybe adults too.
I also dearly love to write devotionals and could see myself writing some devotional books for writers, women, and families.
I don’t know, I’ve learned to walk through the doors as they open regardless of whether or not I feel equipped to handle the job. I’m open to whatever adventures the Lord has for me.
Finally, share something you love about blogging and how you feel it has helped your writing.
I love being mentored by other bloggers! I’ve learned so much about homemaking, childrearing, being a wife, physical fitness and so much more, practical things that I can actually employ in my life, as well as spiritual messages that challenge me to the core.
As for writing, blogging is a great way to practice regular writing and it provides an instant audience. Just as I feel I’ve been mentored by other bloggers, it’s my sincere desire to do the same for others. Blogging allows me to reach out and touch people I might never have been able to help otherwise, literally people around the globe!
Thanks Bonita for sharing with us this month at Write At Home. We’re glad you stopped by!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Making The School Year Easier On The Teacher
July 5, 2009 by Marybeth
As our thoughts turn to planning the school year, I thought I would list some things I have found through the years that make homeschooling easier on us as teacher moms. Some of them are very simple, and yet they make things run much more smoothly! I hope this list gets your ideas flowing.
A library basket: Several years ago I got a gift card to Pier One and used it to buy a large, pretty basket we now have sitting in our living room. I have trained the kids to store all library books in that basket when they are not being read. This helps a lot with misplaced library books, and also keeps things tidy when we bring stacks of books into the house! I also recommend getting familiar with your library’s online system so you can keep up with when your books are due.
Brita Pitcher (or some other form of water dispenser): My husband actually bought this recently, but I have found that the kids and I are all so much better about drinking the filtered, cold water from this pitcher than we ever were about drinking from the tap! Ideally, I would love to have one of those drinking fountains with the little cone-shaped cups for the kids to get their own water, but this pitcher does the trick just fine!
Grocery List: I bought a pad with a magnet on it at Michael’s for $1 and use it to list our grocery and other needs as I see them. This way it helps me to write things down as soon as I see we have run out of them. (Now if I could just get my husband and kids to do it!) When I get ready to go to WalMart or the grocery store, I just tear off my list and go. Of course, there always seems to be something left off the list, but I do feel more organized with the list than without it.
Electric Pencil Sharpener: I just bought this after years of wanting one. This was my big school supply splurge for the year! The kids have had a blast sharpening pencils with it, and it helps eliminate those pesky shavings that never seemed to make it into the trash. I bought a large stock of #2 pencils and they are all neatly arranged in a pencil box waiting to be sharpened and used throughout the year.
Mechanical Pencils: This falls into the above category, and is what my kids enjoyed using last year. These pencils are nice because they don’t need to be sharpened. I have found that my older kids would rather have these to write with. Find them on sale at rock bottom prices now!
Assignment Books: I started this practice years ago so that my kids could be more responsible for their work each day. Every day I use my teacher plan book to list out what they need to do for that day. I include chores, household duties, personal grooming, and outside activities in addition to academics. They love having what is expected of them spelled out, and I love putting the accountability back on them. I use a 5×7 notebook with a vinyl cover as that is more likely to last the whole year without wearing out.
A Written Schedule: I fought against this for years, as I wanted to be more “unschool-ish” and not have a schedule, but I have found that having a specific time to get up, shower, do chores, complete activities, have rest time, etc. really helps us all to flow through our days better. I have scheduled our read aloud times this year, for instance, just to make sure they have a time appointed, which will hold me accountable. I also have scheduled computer time for myself, to keep me from squandering time that should be spent with the kids! I think that the “Managers of Their Homes” book is great for learning more about scheduling, though my schedule is nowhere near as regimented as they recommend! My schedule is really just a “routine,” but it works for us!
Wipes: Last but not least, I have to put in a vote for how easy wipes are when assigning chores. Whether it is cleaning a bathroom, dusting, or cleaning windows, I can hand my kids of all ages a wipe for the job and send them off to do whatever it is! Even my little ones want a wipe to pitch in and do their part. Instead of having to oversee spray bottles and cloths, the wipes are convenient and disposable. Granted, they are more expensive, but they’re still cheaper than hiring a maid!
Please share what you have found to make life easier by leaving a comment. I can’t wait to learn from you guys!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Write at Home: Featuring Christa Parrish
June 29, 2009 by Marybeth
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
This month we are featuring Christa Parrish, author of Home Another Way. I loved Home Another Way and highly recommend this excellent novel. Christa is a single mom who homeschools and writes award winning novels. We can all learn a lot from her!
Christa, you are a single mom who homeschools her son and writes. How do you balance all the demands on your time?
Honestly, my balancing act tends to be a bit wobbly, but I’m learning to be better. My two biggest challenge areas are my tendency to procrastinate, and my habit of taking too much on (i.e., an inability to say, “No!”). This year was particularly difficult, as I didn’t realize how much I would have to do with the release of one book, the deadline to write and edit another, plus the five Jr./Sr. High School-level classes I prepare for and teach outside the home during the week. Having that rather hectic experience, I’ve been able to take on less commitments, as well as focus on the ones I’m most passionate about.
What’s your best time saving tip for a busy mom?
Taking a few moments to plan ahead a little can make life easier. You’re all laughing at me now – of course that’s true! But I tend to be the laid back, “go with the flow” type gal, so things like remembering to take out something for dinner in the morning, or stacking all the things I need to bring with me for the day near the front door, that helps.
How did you get started writing?
I always wrote, though I never imagined myself a writer. It was something I loved, along with acting, about which I was told, “You’ll never be able to make a living doing that!” After college, however, I felt the pull to explore some more creative outlets, working in various capacities at a theater company, and with a newspaper. After my son was born, I left journalism to stay home with him. When Jacob was about three, the idea for Home Another Way came to me. I had done very little writing in the years before
How did you get started homeschooling?
I always intended to homeschool, from before I had children. I had a good public school experience, but knew I wanted to give my children things the public school simply can’t offer – individual attention, an ability to focus on areas of interest, flexibility in moving between skill levels, and a wealth of experiences beyond the classroom.
What advice would you give a homeschool mom who wants to write?
Have realistic expectations. Homeschooling is your primary ministry, and may not leave much time (okay, probably won’t leave much time) for writing, especially if you have younger children. But, if you can carve out for yourself an hour a day, or even three times a week, you will eventually see the fruit of that bit of time.
Also, find a writing time and style that works for you. At the beginning of my writing journey, I read so much about getting up early to write, putting in two or three hours before the kids wake, disciplining myself to write every day. I tried all that advice from seasoned authors – and more! – and only became discouraged as I couldn’t be consistent in any of it. But that’s not me. I’m not a morning person; I write better in the late morning and early afternoon (which rarely happens because of homeschooling or teaching), or late at night (after 10 p.m.). I’m also a streaky writer; it’s stressful for me to write every day, to sit down and pound out words when I’m not sure where the story is going, or things simply aren’t falling onto the page the way I hear them in my head. Once I was able to get into a groove that worked for my natural style, the process became somewhat smoother. You’re unique! Write like it.
Your novel, Home Another Way, was a finalist for the ECPA Book Of The Year. Where were you when you found out and what did you do?
I was home; my editor called to tell me the news. I called my mother and my agent to tell them. And then I scrubbed cat vomit.
Yes, cat vomit.
One of my most fervent prayers since I received my three-book contract with Bethany House is for God to do whatever is necessary to keep me humble. And He has a sense of humor, I tell you. Not five minutes after I hung up with my agent – I’d been on the phone with him for about 35 minutes, all the while him telling me how important this award was, how unusual it was for a first-time novelist to be nominated, how it would make other publishers stand up and notice, and help my career – Jacob yelled, “Mom, there’s cat puke all over the bathroom floor!” And as I wiped up the mess, I laughed and praised the Lord. How could I not be humble on my knees, a foul-smelling blob of vomit in front of me?
Describe your typical day.
I don’t have one! With my teaching schedule, each day is a bit different. But most mornings begin with personal devotional time (for both Jacob and I), chores, answering email, and some school. After that, we go where the Lord blows us.
What is your favorite thing about homeschooling?
Seeing Jacob grow and change every day; hearing him excited about the things he’s learning; watching him become more independent, more compassionate, more like Jesus. Sharing the journey with him. I can’t imagine missing those moments.
Thanks Christa for stopping by today to share with us. We know you are busy working on your second novel and I can’t wait to read it!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Father’s Day: Look Up
By Curt Whalen
Husband of HOTM writer Marybeth Whalen, author, and homeschool dad to 6 children
Bathing my three year old is always a challenge. Don’t get me wrong. He loves the water. He loves his toys, loves pouring water from cups, and loves “painting” the walls with a washcloth. And I love watching him laugh.
But sooner than he likes, bedtime draws near and we have to get the soap out and wash the day’s dirt away. Our problem begins when we have to wash his hair. He absolutely hates shampoo, and cries out loud when I have to pour water over his head. I’m always careful and have never gotten soap in his eyes, but to him that doesn’t matter. As soon as I grab a cup to wash the shampoo away I hear, “No daddy!,” and he ducks his head to try and avoid the water, only making matters worse.
The scene played out this morning while we were getting ready for church. Bath-time was over and I began the rinsing process. As I began pouring and he ducked his head to avoid the water, I heard myself saying, “Son, just look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.” The second those words came out of my mouth, I felt an ache in my heart and my eyes clouded over with tears.
You see, for the past few years, life has been a struggle financially for my family. The changes in our economy have been tough at my place of employment. I’m a commissioned salesman and have watched my monthly income slowly decline. Some specific things happened over the last few weeks that have caused me to experience some extreme emotions of fear and anger. I’ve been walking through a valley and am embarrassed to admit that in my period of self-loathing, I’ve let myself turn away from God and even directed anger His way.
As I’ve found to be typical, God uses the little things of this world to draw us back to Himself. I sat in our bathroom this morning heartbroken as the implications of the words I spoke to my son were sinking in. I heard a voice inside my heart. “Son, just look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.”
Look up.
It is so easy when we are in the valleys of our journey that we forget to look up. It is so easy to wander aimlessly through the desert times of our lives and turn away from God instead of seeing Him for who He is. Doesn’t Jesus say that we only have to look up to God and ask for fish (Luke 11:11)? Doesn’t God’s word promise us His love and protection (2 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 Peter 1:5)? Why is it that we let our faith and our hope drain out of our lives as quickly as the water drains out of a tub? Why am I so quick to forget the countless blessing I’ve already been given? How is it that I can forget that God has always provided for the things my family and I need? How is it that in a moment of trial I can still turn away from Abba Father instead of looking up and letting His love carry me through a difficult time?
I learn so much from the behavior of my children. A beautiful transformation occurred during my son’s bath this morning. For the very first time, my son fought through his fears and listened to his father’s voice. I gently coaxed him to look up to me, and with blind faith, he listened and obeyed. I carefully poured the water over his head and washed all the soap and dirt away. And I saw the realization form in his eyes that his father was going to protect him from harm. His cries of fear turned to shouts of laughter and joy.
Another transformation took place this morning. Quietly in my heart I prayed that God would forgive my unfaithfulness. Through teary eyes, I looked up to Him and promised to trust in His ways and have faith that He would help me through this difficult time. And for the first time in awhile, I rediscovered the hope I have in this life because of God’s love and His grace.
One of the hardest parts of our Christian faith is coming down off a “mountaintop” and finding yourself in a valley of suffering. We all experience it in one way or another. I praise God that we are able to put all of our hope in Him knowing that He promises to protect us. I pray that you’re not experiencing a valley in your life. But if you are, I would encourage you to look up and call out to our Father in Heaven. Fall on your knees, look up, and let his love pour over you. Let God wash all the fears of this world away.
“Look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.”
