Sallie | Heart of the Matter

November 19, 2009 By Sallie 7 Comments

Asperger’s Syndrome: a body like Gumby with a mind like Wolverine’s core being

Our son has always had a body he could do weird things with. He pops his jaw in and out of socket. He manipulates his fingers in a way that cracks and pops like wood on a fire. His neck twitches in a way that I sometimes wonder if he hasn’t done a complete 360. I always worry a bit when he says, “Hey, watch this!” because I’m never quite sure what is coming. He’s flexible and weird, but our family likes him like that!

I remember when he was very young and would be going through a new growth spurt. Each time brought on pain and misery for him. He could feel the muscles stretching and twisting. Everyone experiences the same stretching and twisting when they grow, we just don’t usually feel it. Caleb always felt every single bit of it. He would cry in pain. He would miss school. He would stay in bed all day sleeping because he was worn out from the crying. I didn’t know what was wrong with him and the first few times I took him to the doctor, only to be told they had no clue what was wrong and proceed to send him home with crutches. I’m not sure what they thought the crutches would help with but maybe it made them feel better to send him home with something rather than nothing. Hindsight is 20/20 and I now know those growing pains were because of his accompanying sensory issues that are a normal part of life for a kid with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Even with all of Caleb’s special tricks and abilities, his muscles are still very weak. I don’t think that he can’t develop his muscles because he does lift weights with his dad. I think it is probably just more of a mindset, or perhaps a memory of pain, that keeps him from doing more muscular type things. Twisty and bendy Gumby he might be. Sculptured and muscly, not so much.

There is another normal part of life for Asperger’s kids (Aspies, for short), and that is their adamantine attitude. Any mother of boys recognizes the closeness of that word to adamantium, the substance injected into Wolverine, the Marvel character, that adheres to his skeleton and makes it possible for him to have cool things like knife-sharp claws shoot out from between his knuckles. Merriam-Webster (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/adamantine) gives one definition of adamantine as rigidly firm, or unyielding.

Boy, oh boy, can I relate to that!!

Back when Caleb was about 7 years old, he walked up to a lady with a grocery basket of goods in the store and started taking things out of her basket and putting them to the side. She asked what he thought he was doing, and he told her she had more items than was allowed in that line. We apologized as we tried to hide our laughter from both Caleb and the distraught lady. We didn’t even actually have a diagnosis for Caleb at this point but his rigid interpretation of the rules was evident at a very early age.

At a different time, after his diagnosis, Caleb got into an argument with his AWANA teacher over a picture in his Bible. We had always taught Caleb that everything in the Bible was true and his class happened to be talking about what Satan looked like that night. Caleb began describing Satan from the picture he had in his Bible. Mr. S. told Caleb that was just an artists rendition but that man couldn’t know for sure. Caleb began crying and called his teacher a liar for teaching the boys something wrong. We had to have a long discussion after that about what we meant when we said everything in the Bible was true. It was one of our first lessons as parents in making sure that Caleb comprehended our meaning as well as our words.

Our most recent lesson in Caleb being adamantine in his thought process was this past Sunday. Caleb went with his dad, sister, and I to work on a Habit for Humanity Build Blitz in a neighboring town. There were so many people working that it was hard to find a simple job for Caleb to do that didn’t require too much muscles but was easy enough for him to comprehend. He did things like remove nails from scraps of wood, gather 2×4′s for kick plates for the roofing guys, and put his long arms to good use by handing things from the ground up to the roof.

We came to a lull in the work down on the ground and several folks were asked to carry water and snacks around. Three times I asked Caleb to grab a case of water and three times he said “I know you are telling me to take water around, but do I HAVE to do it? Who else says I have to?” I soon realized that Caleb wasn’t about to budge from asking that question. His arms were crossed. His head was tilted to the left and down and his lips were pursed. A definite adamantine stance for Caleb!

An NT (neurotypical — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurotypical) persons first thought would be that my son was being disrespectful. However, as an experienced mom of an Aspie, I know that Caleb was actually asking “Who is the boss at this site, and is that what the boss wants me to do, or would he prefer I do another job?”

I could have argued with Caleb until I was blue in the face. Most NT’s — whether it be teachers, or coaches, or friends — WILL argue because they just don’t understand what is really being said. I knew several people were watching with disbelief registered on their faces and could tell they expected a showdown between the 6’4″ boy and 5’6″mom. I recognized that my only good option was not to continue repeating my answer to Caleb with a “Yes, I said you have to carry it.” but instead to turn around and walk away. A few minutes later I saw Caleb walking around and offering people water from the case he was carrying.

Caleb understood that since there wasn’t a site boss around for him to ask what to do, he might as well do what his mom said to do. Afterall, I am his boss, too!

Aspies don’t have an adamantine attitude simply to make their parents wearing with repetitive commands. They just know the rules and want folks to follow them. Precisely! I suspect Caleb will always have an adamantine mindset in most things. Some things will be worth arguing about…most won’t. The important thing to know is which ones are which!

Sallie is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone in a round hole world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales

October 4, 2009 By Sallie 2 Comments

Moderation. Now, that is a word we don’t like to hear very much in our current society! We have super size value meals at fast food joints. We have super sized home improvement centers. We have mega-churches in every mega-metropolis where we can worship. We have mega-coop clubs for our homeschooled children to participate in. We have, we have, we have.

AH, you get the picture! We have everything imaginable, in every form imaginable, in every size imaginable and it is all there for the taking. But, is it good for us? And, more importantly, what does the Bible tell us about moderation?

I know from personal experience that the super size meals are just gonna add a good super size portion to my waistline. Now, my exercise can’t be in moderation because I need it in high power. I need moderation in my food so that my body is a temple that does not cause people to look down on or blame God for the illnesses I’ve brought on myself.

My children have attended schools with upwards of 45 students in their classes. They learned so little during these school years and were always into trouble for some such thing or another. We brought them home to learn when we realized they needed moderation from what they were learning and whom they were learning it with. After beginning our homeschool journey, we joined a co-op, and that was nice for a time but then it seemed to take over our whole life as well. We needed moderation in scheduling. Yes, I even think we needed moderation from socialization!

I was walking through our local Lowe’s the other day and a mom was there with her young child. The mom was talking on the phone with what sounded like her husband while at the same time fussing at her little girl for not keeping up, for mumbling when talking, for whining and crying, and for walking in the way of my cart. Honestly, the little girl did NONE of those things but the mom was too busy to notice. Mom needed some moderation.

Using moderation in all things means we are practicing self control and temperance. Our very human nature wants to pull us away from God but with moderation and self control, we can avoid that.

Proverbs 25:28 says “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” Proverbs 16:32 balances the other side of the coin out with “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Slow to anger… using moderation and self control in our thought processes allows us to keep from reaching that point with anger where there is no turning back; that line of sin drawn in the sand that once crossed is crossed and many times with words said and actions done that cause irreparable harm. I like the Amplified Bible translation of Galatians 5:23 “Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].” When you have gentleness and self-control nothing can be said wrong against you.

Ladies… fellow homeschooling mama’s… friends, remember to guard your heart and your desires within you so that you may practice self-control and moderation. The busy holiday season is just getting started and you will be faced at every turn with a reason to let yourself go crazy. But you don’t have to! Do everything in moderation so that you do not lose control. Let us strive to set the example of a good and godly parent for our children.

Remember the prize you fight for is not a temperate one of crowning glory here on earth (1Corinthians 9:25) but an eternal crown with Christ Jesus, our King, in Heaven.

September 12, 2009 By Sallie 2 Comments

Home school doesn’t have to be work, work, work! It can be fun and games, too.

Fun and games doesn’t necessarily mean not educational either. Toys can be learning! Wonderful, exciting, adventurous toys! But not if our special needs children toss them to the side and play with the box they came in instead. *Sigh* I bet you’ve been there, done that. I know I sure have!

So, how do we buy toys that can stimulate and teach our children? What are some things we need to look for?

Each of our children all have the same types of skills from birth on that they need to work on to function properly as they age and develop. Some have to work harder on particular skills, and maybe some have to use more of one skill to make up for another function that is missing (like in a blind child whose hearing may be increased because of his lack of sight). Those skills include fine motor, gross motor, language, social, tactile, visual, auditory, thinking, language and more. It’s important that we find and use toys that generate thinking and learning in our play time to encourage learning in all of our children, but its especially important with our special needs children as they will need more help in developing certain areas.

I like to buy toys that have multiple uses. Multi-tasking toys, if you will. For instance, gross motor skills use large muscle movement while fine motor skills deal with grasping and your hand-eye coordination. My son’s favorite game has always been Hungry Hungry Hippo. This game is a perfect example of a multi-tasking game. You have to use gross motor skills in slapping the hippo lever to eat the marbles while also using fine motor skills to pick up each individual small marble.

Boy or girl, young or old, I bet most of you have a city play mat with cars and a town, or a railroad table with a train set. These are great multi-tasking toys as they help develop social skills between siblings and friends, as well as providing visual stimulus by keeping the cars on the road. They also encourage creativity and language by providing a reason for our children to use words to express what they are thinking and imagining in their play time.

Puzzles force us to use and develop our fine motor, creativity, thinking, and visual skills. The bigger the better! I love the huge floor puzzles that my kids get down on the floor with and work on together. Together… that’s another skill! Social skills! Anyone with an aspie/autistic child understands the need for learning social skills!

Card and board games are perfect for helping to develop thinking and memory skills. They encourage our children to work together (uhm, social skills again) and help teach everything from colors, to math, to reading, and more. My children currently are in love with the game Wiz Kidz by Discovery Toys. You take two cards — one has a letter and one has creative questions. It’s not a puzzle. It’s not a quiz. It makes you think and it’s fun! Our favorite letter/question combo so far? A body part that starts with the letter “q”. Yeah, we’re still trying to figure an answer to that one out.

And, of course, I can’t forget electronic games. Wii you like to play? I can’t express in enough words the joy Wii has given my family while having fun and teaching all those necessary developmental skills. There is golfing, bowling, tennis, and MORE. It teaches hand-eye coordination. It teaches social skills. It teaches thinking. It teaches visual. It teaches EVERYTHING! I love it!

The toys listed above are a great place to start if you know what category of special needs your child fits into. What if, however, you’ve just got a diagnosis and you have no idea what it means. Perhaps you are feeling lost and don’t have a clue as to what toys would be helpful to YOUR child. There are a few categories to look at to help you at least have a place to start.

Physical Disabilities: these affect the motor systems and can include skeletal, muscle and joint abnormalities which in turn limit an individual’s ability to move, stand, sit, play, reach, and so forth. Cerebral Palsy, Multiple Sclerosis, Spina Bifida are examples of physical disabilities.

Sensory Disabilities: these affect the ability to gather and understand information from the environment through any of the five senses (touch, sight, sound, smell, taste). Some of the diagnosis’ that fit in this category would be hearing and visual impairment as well as Sensory Integration Disorder.

Communicative Disabilities: these affect the ability to communicate verbally due to limited, or altered comprehension and use of language. Autism and Pervasive Development Disorder, stuttering, speech, and other language delays fall into this category.

Cognitive Disabilities: these affect the ability to process information, reason, remember and express emotions. Down syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Hyperactivity Disorder, Bi-polar, Jacobsens Syndrome are examples of what would fall under the cognitive disability category.

If you still aren’t sure which category your child falls under, then call your doctor and ask. They are more than willing to help you understand how to better help your child and you can find a wealth of information on the internet as well. If you do know which category your child falls under, then you can start searching for toys based on that category as well as your own child’s
individual needs.

Several places you can find great guides that will recommend and help you search out toys are:

http://www.lekotek.org/
http://www.ableplay.org/
http://www.toysrus.com/ (look at their toy guide for differently-abled kids)

http://www.discoverytoysinc.com/

http://www.specialneedstoys.com/usa/
http://www.adaptivechild.com/index.html

So, now that we know we can have fun while playing, and learn while we are at it, let’s get out there and check out some new toys! Put your lists together now for birthdays and holidays and share your lists with friends and family!

September 4, 2009 By Sallie 13 Comments

My mother is 90% deaf in one ear and about 75% in the other ear. She had a bout with scarlet fever when she was a little girl and it pretty much ruined her hearing. She has learned how to read lips pretty well but must concentrate to understand people. Her favorite saying when she hasn’t quite grasped what someone has said is “Do what, hon?!” It’s a phrase I have never heard anyone else say and one that I swore I would never repeat but I catch myself saying it lately. A LOT. It pops out especially when I get frustrated over the stereotypes that other people associate with homeschool families.

For instance, the other day I was sitting with a group of moms and they were talking about teenage hormones and the cat fights certain young men and women were having because of them. I said I could relate and they laughed me off. “Your kids are homeschooled. You don’t have that problem,” they said. “Do what, Hon?!” was the phrase that went through my mind.

Oh, right, I forgot. We’ve got the perfect families. I think that is what they must be thinking. But they are so very wrong.

I remember a few weeks ago, too, when prayer requests were being taken in one of my groups for the families as kids were getting ready to go back to school. I asked for prayer, too, as I organize our books, write lesson plans, and buy our supplies and curriculum. I had many bewildered looks and someone even said “But you’ve got it so easy. You can sleep late and do whatever you want.”

Guess what phrase went through my mind again? That’s right! “Do what, Hon?!”

I find that I don’t get angry at all with people who hold to these negative stereotypes of homeschooling but rather I feel sad that they have such a lack of understanding. I take it as my calling to gently explain to them why the view they hold isn’t accurate. I have been the recipient of the sharp end of a tongue (and sadly the giver of that sharpness as well) in the past and understand how hurtful it can be. I have learned as it says in Proverbs that a soft answer turns away wrath.

Romans 15:1-3 tells us that the stronger should bear with the failings of the weaker. Whether you believe those who homeschool are stronger in faith or not doesn’t really matter when you look at this scripture. I know plenty of Christians who are much stronger in their faith than I am and they don’t homeschool. However, homeschoolers who have a strong faith in their reasons for homeschooling ARE stronger in their beliefs than folks who have grasped hold of the negative stereotypes of homeschooling without determining in their own minds what is true and accurate. Bearing with the failings of the weaker does not simply meaning putting up with or tolerating. A word study will show you that it actually means carrying and lifting them up because they aren’t able to do it on their own. Jesus Christ never merely tolerated or bore with us. He lifted us up quite often, and still does!

Angry rebuttals will never do anything to change a persons mind when they have already given themselves over to a negative thought. Only gentleness and patience will make a difference. Especially if you are a Christian who homeschools your child, you have a duty to bear gently with others who hold to these negative viewpoints. Here are a few scriptures that will help you to remember that when you are greeted with negative stereotypes as well.

⁵Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:5, King James Version)

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, ²³Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23, King James Version)

²With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; ³Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3, King James Version)

¹³Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. (James 3:13, King James Version)

²To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. (Titus 3:2, King James Version)

Have you faced negative stereotypes about homeschooling before? What are some Christ-like answers you have given in response to them? Please share in the comments…

July 10, 2009 By Sallie 1 Comment

I love history in any size, shape, or form. More often than not, I combine learning more about our family history (genealogy) with major historical events in places we have come from in our migrations. My husband especially loves aviation history. Our daughter loves fashion design history. One of our sons loves anything that teaches about television and movie history. Our other two boys like any history that puts them out of doors!

We are a military family and our travels have enabled us to visit many places. Several of those places were important in the building of our great country: the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas, the Capital Building in Washington, D.C., and the Punchbowl, USS Arizona, and Diamond Head Crater in Hawaii. Other sites remind us of the beauty found in the hills and dales of this land we call home: the Grand Canyon in Arizona, the lighthouses and beaches of North and South Carolina, and Pikes Peak in Colorado. Still others we have seen in movies, or read about in books: Chimney Rock, North Carolina (where Last of the Mohicans was filmed), Elizabethtown, Kentucky (where Elizabethtown starring Legolas, er, uhm, I mean Orlando Bloom was filmed), and the Tarrytown/Sleepy Hollow villages in New York (where author Washington Irvin penned his famous work The Legend of Sleepy Hollow).

Most folks call these trips a vacation. We like to call it school, or a living education. The internet is filled with many great websites that will help you turn your family vacation into a learning experience. One of my favorite places is the National Park Service and National Register of Historic Places teaching website called Teaching With Historic Places (TWHP).

Last year our family incorporated a recent trip to Colorado into our lessons for the year. We had visited the Adeline Hornbek homestead, located in the Florrisant Valley of Colorado during the summer while visiting family. We had a sweet park ranger do the unthinkable and let us enter the ground floor of the cabin (shhh… don’t tell anyone that, ok!) to take pictures of the cabin. We were able to see the cloth and newspapers that had been used for insulation. The ranger did an awesome job and gave us a great beginning lesson but we (I) wanted to know even more! We came home and I started looking on the internet for information. I found everything we needed in the FREE lesson plans provided through TWHP. The lesson included floor plans of the cabin, maps of the area, historical summaries on both the subject of homesteading and women in the Victorian era, and more. The plan also includes a list of supplementary resources. The search engine is helpful in linking more than one subject matter because you may search by place, theme, time period, skill, or curriculum standards (i.e. is the plan geared towards history or social studies).

The lesson plans do not solely have to be used for history or social studies either. They are multi-tasking lessons, you might say. This year I really want my three boys to improve upon their creative writing skills. We can use the TWHP by using places that show up in the skills category of the search engine. We already have our interests peaked by experiences with places in North Carolina that show up in this category, like the Little Kinnakeet Lifesaving Station, for instance. Mammoth Cave in Kentucky is also listed in this particular search function and so we may take a side trip there this summer since two of the three boys will be visiting their grandparents in nearby Louisville for a few weeks.

Opportunites are all around us for learning. We just have to open our eyes and take advantage of them! So, where are you going on vacation?! Oh, and by the way, feel free to view our family album of the Hornbeck Homestead at: http://www.mikeandsallie.com/hornbeck_homestead/.

June 27, 2009 By Sallie 11 Comments

As more and more families across the nation decide it’s time for change and bring their children home for school, so goes the way of military families as well. There is no set number carved in stone but the numbers have risen substantially in the past few years. Many families are lost in a sea of Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) memoranda and can’t tell heads or tales of the hoopla they are trying desperately to decode. I have been there and done that! Literally! We are a military family and have been in DoDEA base schools in the states, DoDDS base schools in Okinawa Japan, public schools, charter schools, and homeschool. I want to help you sort it all out as best as possible!

Let’s get on with a bit of the regulation info first.

Then we can move to some information that will help with the everyday fun stuff rather than just the nuts and bolts of it all! The Constitution of the United States puts the responsibility of education squarely on the shoulders of the states. This includes dependent children of military members, too. Sometimes it gets confusing with home of record, state of residence, and so forth but simply put, you home educate your children according to the regulations to the actual state you live in. Here is a bit of what the DoDEA website says:

It is DoDEA policy neither to encourage nor discourage DoD sponsors from home schooling their minor dependents. DoDEA recognizes that home schooling is a sponsor’s right and can be a legitimate alternative form of education for the sponsor’s dependents.

A host nation, state, commonwealth, or territory where a DoD sponsor is stationed may impose legal requirements on home schooling practices. DoDEA encourages DoD sponsors who wish to home school their dependents to communicate their desire to their commanders to determine if there are any command policies or other rules ensuring that home schooling practices meet host nation, state, commonwealth, or territory requirements. Sponsors are responsible for complying with applicable local requirements.

DoDEA-run schools on bases within the United States are becoming a rather rare site in recent years due to the cost effectiveness of sending military dependents off base to the local community schools. As a matter of fact, there are only 7 states currently that have these schools within their bases. This may be confusing to many people as many bases still have schools aboard the installation but they are completely run by a local authority. This happens to be the case where I live here in Arizona. A local call to the school should clear the confusion right away if you aren’t sure.

Bases with DoDEA-run Schools

If you happen to be assigned to a base that does still have a DoDEA-run school, and live on installation in base housing, then you have options available to you that you may want to consider. You are allowed to use both auxiliary services as well as academic resources equal to what a child enrolled in the school would receive. Auxiliary services include access to the school library, after hours use of school facilities (comparative to what other enrolled students are allowed), and participation in music, sports, and other extracurricular and interscholastic activities. Academic resources include the loaning of textbooks, workbooks, library books, scheduled standardized tests, software, and so forth. DoDEA schools also offer a wide range of extracurricular activities which vary from school to school. Possible activities include drama, public speaking, Model United Nations, cheerleading, music, and Future Business Leaders of America. The military sponsor should contact their local school to obtain a current listing of what is available. It is not necessary to contact your base commander but it is an option if you should choose to.

Living Overseas

Do you live overseas? These same options and more apply to you as well though they will greatly depend on where you live. Depending on your circumstances, you will probably have one of three choices available to you for homeschooling. The first is homeschooling as a parental preference and you pay for everything out of pocket as you more than likely do already. The second option is to utilize the DOD schools as stated above just like you would if you were stateside. This only pertains to you if you are a sponsored family. That means you are on the orders with your military member and fall under the Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA). You can borrow textbooks from the school, participate in extra activities or sports, take standardized testing, and so forth.

Worldwide IDEA Program

Lastly I want to share with you a program called Worldwide IDEA. In the past this was a program funded through grants that allowed military homeschool families to be reimbursed for their school materials. Considered an e-school, with resources for record keeping and teacher sponsorship, as well as reimbursements for materials and internet service, this was a great option for many families. Unfortunately the grant funding has been cut and the reimbursements are no longer available. However, Worldwide IDEA has not given up the fight and is working to have the DOD recognize homeschooling as a viable, legal, GOOD choice for military families and are working with the folks in Washington to make that happen. There are still pay options available for families and the peace of mind makes it well worth it!

How and what you qualify with for Worldwide IDEA will depend on several things. First, if there are DOD schools available at your base then you will have to pay for your children to be enrolled in the program as if it was a private school. However, if there are not any DOD schools available, then you qualify under the Non DoD School Program (NDSP) and can be reimbursed for your school costs if you are homeschooling your children. I encourage you to visit the Worldwide IDEA website at http://www.worldwide-idea.org/index.html to find out your eligibility status if you are in an overseas location.

Learning Opportunities

So, now that we have the basic facts out of the way, let’s move on to some fun ideas! Why not take advantage of the uniqueness of the place you live and work for everyday school learning? There are many opportunities for learning through field trips that others in your homeschool community might not have. For instance, one of our sons absolutely loves airplanes and helicopters. Dad, who just happens to be an “air-winger” worked it out through contacts on the flightline to have part of his birthday party be a tour of one of the birds. You just can’t get better than that for “cool points” with a then 6 year old! Because of that first experience of being up close and personal with a helicopter, our son was interested in furthering his learning by finding out what the call signs on a plane mean, what the different sounds are so that he can pick them out just by sound even if he can’t see them, what the shapes are and more. This is everyday learning and most importantly, it is real life learning.

Maybe you are doing a unit study on fruits and vegetables. The commissary is available for tours usually 30 minutes prior to opening. You just have to call the manager and set it up! Or maybe your child has an interest in film or journalism. Why not give the base paper, theatre, or public affairs office a call to set up an interview and tour of the process? These are all great opportunities for you to take advantage of so why not utilize them as part of your school routine?! And don’t forget your base library has free internet access on top of all the books and videos you can check out. I love that!! I saw an advertisement for a piano video online, I went to the library to see if it was there and it was. Just consider it a try before you buy opportunity.

Are you Navy or Marine Corps? How about taking a Tiger Cruise? These are space-available cruises from an outer port back to homeport for certain age groups of your family when your service member is deployed aboard ship and returning home. Imagine the excitement for a 12 year old boy (or girl) to be aboard a real naval vessel and getting to watch the ins and outs of typical navy life. Just think of the essays you will get after an experience like that!!

The opportunities for learning are all right there in front of you. You have to be willing to go search them out for your own base though. You probably aren’t going to find a list of “things to do” for homeschoolers but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. If you live overseas, learn the language, eat the food, shop in the stores, and collect the change for a coin collection. Just do stuff! I know once you realize the potential of what is there just waiting for you to reach out and grab hold of it, there will be no looking back. SMILE! ENJOY! LIVE! LEARN!

Special Thanks goes to: Tonya Brewer at WorldWide IDEA and Lorna Dennison at Department of Defense Education Activity for their help with providing the most up to date information and navigation through their respective websites.

June 25, 2009 By Sallie 3 Comments

Today (the day that I am typing this) is the 15th of June. Due to time needed for editing, etcetera, our HOTM articles are due by the first of every month. Needless to say, I’m a bit late. I have been dwelling on what profound insight or encouragement I could share with you for weeks but, I’m sorry to say, I got nothing. We had a virus take over our computer about a month ago and it’s like an empty shell up there in the nether regions of my brain. All of my sensibility was lost with my old computer. On that computer, I was constantly typing out small tidbits and notes on my desktop, or in the file my husband had lovingly titled “Sallie’s junk pile”. That meant I always had a story “starter” to “finish” when I need to do an article for any of the websites I write for. I literally had hundreds of text files on it and I could just go in and grab any of them and finish them up lickety-split. Now, I feel like my brain has been turned off without those backup notes.

It’s not that there isn’t anything left in my brain to write about. Heaven’s NO!! I am a homeschooling mom, afterall, and my children give me fodder, er, uhm, brilliant specks of literary genius to write about all the time. I think the issue that has become so daunting for me is simply that I have to start something from SQUARE ONE because I don’t have my arsenal of daily tidbits of our lives built up yet on this new computer. Yikes!! Can anyone say panic attack?!

As I sit here typing, I realize homeschooling can leave you with those same daunting feelings… those “I got nothing” feelings… even for veteran homeschoolers. A move to a new house; a new family member born/adopted mid-week of your mid-term; a transition from kindergarten to elementary, or middle to high school, or any other grade level in between; a new job for mom or dad (or both in today’s economy); a new set of curriculum. All those things, and more, can throw off your groove and leave you feeling like you are flying blind. It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Homeschool does not have to be the same thing as ordinary school aka public school. That is why it is extra-ordinary! That is why I love it!!

Recently I discovered the name of the homeschool approach for what I have been doing for years. I knew we weren’t Classical. I knew we weren’t Charlotte Mason. I knew we weren’t unschooling. Though, perhaps we do have a bit of each of those in our routine. We just aren’t full blown regulars to any of those learning approaches. I have always simply called our homeschooling approach Sallie’s Way and that sounded just fine by me. In all actuality, though, it does have a more specific name: Delight Directed Learning. I’m very thankful that this method of homeschooling does not leave me with feelings of being lost and flying blind. The main reason for this is because the schooling is nothing about me and how great a teacher I am, but is instead about my individual children and their interests and desires.

Our oldest son, Caleb, is nearly 15 years old, and is on the autism spectrum. He was diagnosed later than most at age nine. One of the doctors that Caleb saw early on in his diagnosis told us that homeschooling would be our best option for Caleb, and that teaching him towards his interests was the best way to prepare him for a job in the real world. We decided that made pretty good sense to us and if we were teaching him towards his interests, then it would make complete sense to teach ALL of our children towards their individual interests. Guess what?! It WORKS!!

Delight Directed Learning is NOT letting your children do whatever they please. However, it is letting your children learn through what pleases them. My children have attended DOD (Department of Defense) schools, charter schools, and public schools throughout their educational careers, before we moved over completely to the homeschool way of life. Public schools, as well as most of the other school venues we were involved in, want cookie cutter children. They start work as early as possible to strip children of their individual personalities.

God did not create a cookie cutter society but instead gave each of us gifts and talents to be used according to His call on our lives.

Exodus 28 speaks of workmen whom God gave specific talents for creating the priestly garments for Aaron. Exodus 35 speaks of the men gifted with skills for building the tabernacle. We read in verses 30 and through the end of the chapter that God even specifically called the men out by name so that there was no confusion as to whom he had given certain talents to:

30 Then Moses said to the Israelites, “See, the LORD has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, 31 and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts- 32 to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, 33 to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship. 34 And he has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others. 35 He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as craftsmen, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers—all of them master craftsmen and designers.

In the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 12 gives a list of spiritual gifts and services. Verses 4-6 tells us that even though there are different gifts, and services, and workings, there is only one God who works them all in man. The chapter further tells us that we are to use our individual God-given talents and abilities to work as a unified body in Christ. In His great understanding of the human mind (He DID create it afterall), God knew that he was creating us to be different from each other and that there was a job and place for each of us in His Kingdom.

I use several translations of the Bible at home when I am doing studies and such, but I would have to say that probably my most favorite translation is the Amplified version. I truly love how indepth the translation strives to be. The Amplified gives a bit more meaning to the original translation of Proverbs 22:6 when it says:

6Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

And in keeping with his individual gift or bent. WOW! Do we strive in our day to day homeschool routine to teach our children based on our wants and desires (or individual gifts) or do we strive to teach them what God has gifted them to do? Teaching my children based on their own individual gifts from God has opened my eyes to one of the true blessings of homeschooling.

No longer do I worry if my children are where they are supposed to be educationally compared to other children. No longer do I worry whether or not they are competitive enough in the sports world. No longer do I worry if their music lessons are progressing as well as I think they should be.

Instead, I ask myself daily two questions: 1)”Are my children learning and excelling in the talent God gave them?”, and 2) “Are we giving God the glory for His work in our lives and thanking Him for it?” ( per Colossians 3:17)

As long as I can continue to answer YES to both of those questions, then I know we are on the right track for growing our children up to be the adults that God would have them be. Are you on the right track, too?

May 21, 2009 By Sallie 2 Comments

graduatebooks

We are getting close to the end of the school year and things are falling nicely into place. We even have a child graduating. UNBELIEVABLE!! It seems like yesterday she was my sweet little kindergartener taking her class bear to church with her on a Wednesday night. Now, she’s all grown up and preparing for college entrance exams. Where have the years gone?!

I have to admit I was terrified of this year and what it meant for Victoria.

Would her homeschooling efforts be considered good enough for college?

Would all the extra things she had done through out the past three years be acceptable material for her transcripts?

Would I have taught her what she needed to know in order to “survive” out on her own if she should she go away for college?

Did it matter that she forced an accelerated schedule on herself and finished a year early?

These questions, and more, seemed to be a constant side conversation in my brain at the beginning of this year. My nerves really began to falter as she started making those first contacts with colleges. God blessed me early on, though, by providing such good responses to her inquiries to colleges, that my nerves settled and I was able to enjoy this year and the “senior year process” more than I thought possible.

I thought I would share a few things that made it easy for us to get through this year of college contacts, test taking, and so forth. Here goes:

1) Enjoy the time you have with your child! Homeschoolers don’t always have fun things like prom and ring ceremonies as memory makers so take the time you have for enjoying and making memories of your own. Don’t push but let your child work at their speed. For us, this meant finishing a year early because it was what our daughter wanted. For others, it might mean finishing up 3 or 6 months late. That’s ok!! Work with your own schedule to create the least amount of stress as possible!

2) Visit college websites for your school of choice early! We began looking at college websites two years ago. Once you have narrowed down your choices of schools, visit the actual campuses if possible. Victoria’s first choice is not a local college, but is in my home state of Kentucky. When we were in Kentucky this past Christmas visiting family, we made a side trip to visit the town and school one morning. It was early and buildings weren’t open but we were able to still get a feel for the community. We will be making another side trip to the school and community in July. We are looking forward to it!

3) Colleges vary in what they want from homeschoolers as far as requirements for entrance. Don’t be afraid to ask what the school prefers! Many colleges will require a GED, while others might look down on it. We found that our school of choice really only wanted a transcript and an SAT score. Don’t assume you have to have something. Always check with your college of choice. It will save you and your child time and effort, as well as the school!

4) Create an effective transcript and portfolio. We have used a free online program (http://teascript.com/). This program was VERY simple to use. We also created a portfolio folder of letters and certificates from extra programs Victoria has participated in over the last few years. It is one thing to list all of those activities in a transcript. It is a step above to have those letters available for review along with your application by the admissions department of a college!

5) Sign up for a program such as the ones available from http://www.collegeboard.com/. This website offers practice SAT tests, as well as a daily email with the SAT question of the day. This made studying easy for Victoria and put a lot of information at her fingertips in one easy spot.

6) Search out financial plans and available scholarships NOW! We have a small college savings plan but when the economy took a downward spiral, unfortunately so did our savings plans. I had hoped they would be exempt from the economic turmoil. I was wrong! Victoria is able to apply for several military dependent scholarships. She is also looking at a college from the Work Colleges Consortium, Berea, as her first choice. Working through school for 10 hours a week in one of the school shops, rather than footing the cost of a full 4 year degree, is something to look into. Check out http://www.workcolleges.org/ for more information.

7) Plan a party! We have decided to wait for a party until after Victoria has completed her SAT test and made her final choice for college entrance. She is taking a year off so we have plenty of time but we are moving ahead with some grand plans! We are excited for her to be able to celebrate the great accomplishment of High School Graduation with all of her family and friends!! Hey, you deserve a party, too!!

I thank God everyday for all the blessings He has richly bestowed upon my family, this year especially. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This promise has become a cornerstone of our year! I pray it can become yours as well!

April 22, 2009 By Sallie 3 Comments

My husband and I finally decided that we probably are not going to move anytime soon into our own home and that it would be OK for us to spend a little money planting flowers to improve our base housing curb appeal. Several hours this past weekend were spent hoeing, raking, planting, and mulching. A lot of preparation went into the process of making sure the area we wanted to plant in had proper drainage as well as the correct amount of sunlight for the flowers we had decided upon.

The flower choice for me was quite easy. My mom always had Begonias in her spring garden when I was a child and when I saw some at Wal-Mart last week, I knew I wanted them in our garden, too. It seems that the longer I am farther away from my mom, the more like her I become. And the more things she liked, I like.

I sorted through several hundred plants (at least!) searching for the perfect flat that had the best mixture of colors, the least amount of dead leaves, the prettiest blossoms. There were plenty of flats that had a LOT of dead flowers in them. I knew they were getting over crowded in the small seedling containers they had been started in weeks earlier. Each tiny, wilted blossom seemed to be crying out “Give me more room,” but no one was listening. Well, not quite no one. An inkling of a thought formed in my mind and I continued to dwell on it for several days.

My daughter, and I planned out the garden area and worked on the space over the weekend. We had a good rain shower. This led to the discovery that the drainage in our small built in circular garden area off our patio was definitely a problem which needed tending to before any actual planting could take place. Thankfully we had gravel on hand so it was an easy fix. We also found we had to purchase more soil but this, too, was an easy fix. With the exception of mulching and adding fertilizer (uh, yes that would be organic manure for the best results), the planting of our small garden area was finished within about an hour but, the actual preparing of the bed took quite a bit more time… nearly three hours.

My husband looked at “our garden” on Sunday morning as we were leaving for church. He said “It needs more flowers. I want to see it overflowing!!!” His words took me back to the thought that had been sitting and brewing in my mind. I looked at my husband and said “Honey, God isn’t through with our garden yet. The flowers we planted need their space so that when God sends the sunlight and the rain, they have room to blossom into the full and beautiful flowers that He means for them to be.”

Guess what?! God isn’t finished with me yet, either! What began as a small thought about an overcrowded flat of flowers, and then a half empty garden bed, has turned into a revelation from God to me in my own life. You see, it is an easy task for me to get overwhelmed and overcrowded with everything I think needs to be accomplished. No one puts more stress on me in this area of my life than me — my husband doesn’t do it; my children don’t do it; my pastor doesn’t do it; my church family doesn’t do it; my friends don’t do it; God doesn’t do it.

I DO IT! I am the one guilty of overcrowding my life with too much stuff!

Christian Bovee said “To cultivate a garden is to walk with God.” When thinking of the word cultivate, I’m sure most people think of it in the gardening sense: plowing, tilling, preparing the earth. However, Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines the word cultivate more clearly when it adds to the definition the following meanings: to cherish; to make better or correct; to improve by labor or study; to advance the growth of.

I used to think that everything I did in my life, with the goal of directing my walk with God to be better than I was before, automatically equated to me cultivating a better me. I’ve come to realize that just isn’t the case!

In gardening, I understand that many times a little goes a long way. Fertilizer, for instance, will burn plants up if I use too much on them. Overuse of either organic manure or chemical fertilizer gives the same result and I will be left with nothing but an ugly patch of dirt. In a similar fashion, water, applied too often or in too large of a quantity, will flood a bed and wash away the seeds if they haven’t been rooted firmly in the ground. Fertilizer and water are both good things!! A well developed garden needs a good measure of each but, in the end, they are just water and manure.

The same can be said in my daily life as well. I get so busy filling my garden of life up with stuff that I think is good or needed. I too easily forget that a little goes a long way and I need space for growing. Not only do I need to leave myself room for improvement, I also need to cultivate my foundation. I need to ask myself some strong questions using the definition of cultivate as a starting point.

For instance, do I cherish what I am doing with and for God? Philippians 4:13 says “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” I often hear folks complain that God is failing them because He hasn’t given them the strength they need to complete a task. I wonder, though, if those folks ever stop to think maybe they aren’t feeling strengthened like they believe they should because they aren’t doing what God wants them to do? God does not give us the strength to do everything because He doesn’t want us doing everything!! He wants us doing what He has called us to do! That is what He will give us strength in!

Is it making me better or correcting a stance I have? I know that I’ve been wrong in the past and will be wrong again in the future but that knowledge does nothing to help me out if I’m not willing to examine myself and my beliefs. When I hold my beliefs up next to the Word of God (being my proof text) are they still correct? What good does it do me if I follow a “read-a-Bible-in-a-year-plan” but all I am doing is reading words on a page? What good does it do me to be in church every time the door is open, if I’m not worshipping the One true God with all of my being, but instead am worrying about what else I have to do later in the day or week?

Am I advancing my growth and improving myself by the labor I am doing? There is a lot of labor I can be doing… and trust me, honey, I’m doing a lot of labor most days… but I need to stop and recognize all that extra junk for what it is. I am the kind of person who just can’t say “no” when asked to help, and that bad habit has nearly killed me. I have to learn to set up boundaries. If it isn’t advancing my growth towards Jesus then it’s just extra manure that’s gonna burn me up.

God created me (and you) to be a beautiful person with blossoms a’plenty to share in a full and glorious garden. But, I need to have myself firmly rooted, and with just the right amount of fertilizer and water, or I will die off and wither away. When I remember to allow God to be the Master Gardener then I may say “The Lord will guide ME always; he will satisfy MY needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen MY frame. I will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:11

Sallie Anderson is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she tries to be an encouragement to others. She often discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities while offering insight to those who sometimes feel all alone, like a square in a round world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales.

April 7, 2009 By Sallie 1 Comment

The home that my family and I lived in from the time I was in kindergarten until high school was a small, four bedroom home in the outlying suburbs of Louisville, Kentucky. Daddy had grown up on a 162 acre farm, so he wasn’t content with a small cookie cutter plot of land. We were luckier than most and had a larger yard and were able to maintain a sizeable garden every year of my youth. We owned a little more than a half acre, not really very big, but large compared to the lots on the other side of our fence. Our garden was at least half of the yard and I remember the first year we went from a rototiller to a tractor. It meant quicker work for my dad in preparing the garden, as well as our weeding between rows – at least until the plants got too big safely drive over without causing damage.

My dad was always a meat and potatoes kind of guy and our garden showed it. Every year, without fail, at least half the garden was potato plants while the other half was a combination of green beans, corn, tomatoes, radishes, turnips, squash, cucumbers, onions, cabbages, lettuce, and anything extra that my mom might have an eye for trying that year. The labor throughout the spring and summer months was always hard, something my brother, sister, and I complained about, but the preserved foods we ate the rest of the year always made it worth it. Until the next year’s bit of hard garden work came about.

People always ask me how my dad was able to preserve his potatoes for so long and so well without them rotting so, before I go on, I’ll share that secret with you. My dad worked side jobs to help make ends meet when we were very young. One of the jobs he had was cleaning banks, and one year one of the banks decided they needed new plastic bins for storing all the money bags. They tossed out 30 or so of their old hard-cased, stackable plastic bins and my dad, ever creatively thinking, asked if he could have them. The bank management approved his request, and he took those bins home and drilled holes down each side of them. We filled those bins about three-fourths of the way and stacked them in the shed that was connected to the back of our house. The holes drilled in the sides, along with not over-filling them, allowed enough air to constantly circulate around the potatoes, so they never went bad. We always had plenty until the next year’s harvest began producing small new potatoes. His answer for preserving the potatoes wasn’t very dramatic or overwhelmingly inspiring for agriculturalists, I’m sure, but it worked for us and that was what counted!

Our garden never just fed our family. I remember taking bushel baskets to family or church members during harvest time, as well as canned goods. When we visited our family on overnight trips, we always brought a gift of food along. At times, my aunt would stay and help mom with the canning. Then she would take some of the finished jars back home for her own family. We didn’t just rely on our own garden for food, either. Every Saturday morning during berry season, our whole family would be out at the wild blackberry patch, picking berries for cobblers in the winter.

My dad had another ingenious technique that freed up both hands for picking, so we could get out of the patch before the sun got too high. We saved gallon milk jugs in the months leading up to berry season. Daddy would cut an opening in the jug opposite the handle that was large enough for your hand to drop berries through. We would all strap two jugs through our belts, and then it became a race to see who could fill up their jugs the fastest, without getting too many scratches from the briar thorns. Our neighbors, the Boone family, had apple, peach, and pear trees in their yard, as well as strawberry plants and a grape arbor in their garden. We often traded vegetables for their fruit. Their peaches were always in abundance, and they were so sweet and juicy – perfect for canning, pies, or ice cream topping. My Great-Aunt Fannie, now home with the Lord, lived across the river in Indiana, and she also had apple trees that we helped pick dry in the fall. We would go with an empty trunk and literally come home with apples overflowing the back of the car!! Apple peeling and coring was a job that only Mom and Dad would do, for some reason, and Mom usually froze most of her apples. I’m not sure why she preferred to peaches, but freeze apples, except maybe that was what Granny always did. Sometimes families are funny in their choices like that!

Our family did not have much money, but we had a lot of love, and we learned about hard work by doing it. Some of my fondest memories are sitting around the back stoop and breaking the green beans into pieces that would fit neatly into the mouth of the jar, all the while joking and laughing with my family. As a military family, my husband and I have not yet been privileged to own our own home or parcel of land, but we go home to Kentucky every chance we get in the summer. There our children can experience a bit of gardening first hand. We’ve canned tomatoes picked from local U-pick farms, blanched and frozen green beans, and made the finest tasting jam with the berries picked by our own hands. At least we like to think it tastes pretty good!!

I’ve learned you don’t always need a huge garden of your own to do some simple preserving. Though, if I had my choice, my husband knows I’d love to have our own garden plot one day. Here are a few recipes that have become a standby until that day arrives.

Canned Tomatoes

To prepare: Bring a large pan of water to a boil. Dip the tomatoes in the hot water long enough to crack their skins (about 2-3 minutes). Place in cool water. Core, skin, and quarter the tomatoes. Place in another pot and bring to a boil. When you see foam, they are ready to go into jars (make sure you scald the jars, lids, and bands in hot water to sterilize them while you are waiting for the tomatoes to foam).

To can: Place tomatoes in the jar. Add salt to each jar (1/2 teaspoon for pints or 1 teaspoon for quarts). Place in a pressure cooker, put the lid on, and lock it. After the stopper comes up, watch your steam for 5 minutes and then place the weight on lid. Can to 15 pounds of pressure, then remove cooker from heat. DO NOT take the weight off until the stopper has fallen completely back down. Remove the jars and let cool before putting away.

Blackberry Preserves

4 1/2 pounds of blackberries
5 1/4 cups of sugar
2 lemons
1/2 cup water

Choose ripe, wild blackberries and wash well in cold water. Let stand in a sink of cold water (especially if they have insects on them). Drain well and dry on paper towels.
Bring sugar and water to a boil in a large pan and cook over low heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Pour the blackberries into the sugar syrup and stir well while simmering for 5 to 10 minutes. Ideally, the heat should be turned off and the berries left to stand for half a day. When this time is up, add the grated rind of one lemon. Return to a boil and cook while stirring and skimming. As soon as the preserves are thick enough, remove from heat and stir in the juice of both lemons.
Pour into jam jars and seal tightly. Keep in a dry, dark place.

Strawberry Jam (without pectin)

2 pounds fresh strawberries, hulled
4 cups white sugar
1/4 cup lemon juice

In a wide bowl, crush strawberries in batches until you have 4 cups of mashed berries.
In a heavy bottomed saucepan, mix together the strawberries, sugar, and lemon juice. Stir over low heat until the sugar is dissolved. Increase heat to high, and bring the mixture to a full rolling boil. Boil, stirring often, until the mixture reaches 220 degrees F (105 degrees C).
Transfer to hot sterile jars, leaving 1/4 to 1/2 inch headspace, and seal. Process any unsealed jars in a water bath.

Mom’s Zucchini Bread

2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
3 eggs
2 cups of white sugar
1 cup of oil
2 cups grated, raw zucchini
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup of chopped walnuts

Cream oil and sugar together; add eggs and beat.
Sift all dry ingredients together.
Stir into oil, sugar, and egg mixture.
Add zucchini, then vanilla, then the walnuts. Mix well.
Pour into 2 loaf pans. Bake at 350 for 1 hour (check center with toothpick).

Check out my article on page 32 of the funky flipbook edition of Heart of the Matter Magazine.

Sallie Anderson is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone, like a square in a round world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales.

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