I get furious at times because my children simply won’t cooperate. Why can’t they be quiet and alert, paying attention to every detail of every assignment, and get it right the first time? Why must multiplication be an equivalent to a trip to the dentist? Why can’t my children sit still in a chair for five minutes without tapping a pencil, shaking their head from side to side, making paper airplanes out of their assignment, or flipping upside down in a chair? I still don’t think they realize that they can’t write with their toes.Yes, that photo is the view from where I’m sitting.
I especially have a problem with my youngest son. He is seven and (confession time) has yet to complete a whole worksheet. He likes to look at the page and just answer them out loud. He doesn’t like to write during school time although he has no problem whatsoever with writing his alphabet in permanent marker on a leather recliner. He also has no issues with writing his name, full name mind you, in paint on the kitchen table. Thank goodness for washable paints! He is a bundle of energy that cannot be harnessed yet, he seems to learn more than I try to teach him even though he isn’t present for the whole lesson.
I had coffee with Darnelle, a dear friend and mentor, recently about the testosterone laden issues I have with homeschooling and she blatantly told me to, “chill out.” She said boys are just different from girls and we should just let them learn in a way that best suits them. If there only interested in crawfish that come out of the stinky, slime filled canal behind the neighbors house then let them count and subtract the critters. I also learned that if I take photos of them in the act of doing such gross things as “crawfishing” in a canal then print the photos on paper with blank lines underneath then ask them to write a story about their adventure that they are more likely to do it. I also have to remember that he is only seven and that if he is solid in math and reading right now then I am accomplishing something.
I also realized that boys tend to think better when they are doing something. After all, when men need to think they usually accompany that by working on a car, playing video games, or building a computer from scratch. Somehow this helps them process the information and absorb it. So, my son tapping a pencil on the table or dancing in the chair while reading is actually his way of learning. This is hard for me to understand since I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time but hey, boys and girls are just different. Besides, I completely trust what Darnelle says considering the fact that most of her kids are near geniuses and all.
Something else that I realized is that when they are ready to go full force with their learning… they go full force. One child went from not wanting to even do a single math problem one year to wanting to write essays then next and it has only gotten better since then.
I don’t know what girls are like since I don’t have one but I imagine that most of them are somewhat cooperative doing lessons and more appreciative of good literature. I also imagine them sitting daintily in a chair (even if they don’t want to) while mom teaches a lesson. I have a niece who makes a mockery of the statements I just made but I know as a child that I was more receptive to learning than the boys in my class. Most of my little girl friends were as well. What do you all think about the battle of the sexes?
Amy Bayliss is 3rd year homeschooling mom to three boys. She enjoys writing about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons. In addition to being the Co-owner and Director of Development for Heart of the Matter, she writes for CWO’s Internet Cafe. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.
Interesting that you chalked up the differences to boys and girls. Right now, I’ve a 7 yr old boy, who like you said doesn’t like to finish a worksheet, hates writing but loves to draw, and can’t sit still. He must walk circles around the room while thinking of what he’s trying to say.
I also have a 5 yr old girl, who is quite willing to sit and do workbooks, loves to write, but she doesn’t want to read yet.
I do have a 3 yr old boy, but he’s so little we don’t do anything formal with him right now, so I haven’t noticed any strange proclivities yet.
Really, I had just chalked it up to the two of them being different people, not really a boy v girl thing. From the day he was born, my 7 yr old has been an independent, I’ll do it my way, kind of kid. And my 5 yr old has been a laid back, I’ll let you do it for me instead, kind of kid. So far, the 3 yr old is showing a get out of my way, but come with me Mommy, type personality. The oldest is a geek, the Diva in the middle is a little mama, and the little guy is very physical, ie: always jumping on something or someone. I never once thought it might be any boy/girl differences, just different kids, reacting different ways.
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Amy — They really are different! My daughter can be left alone to do trigonometry (and really do it… not just fake it!!) while all three of my boys need supervision of some sort… mostly to keep the man fights between them down to a minimum! LOL..
Have a blessed week!!
Sallie
http://www.angelfire.com/sc/anderklan/seasidetales
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VERY good post. I have the same exact issues…and I have to say, the pencil twitching drives me insane! LOL
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Amy,
I so relate to your article! However, my oldest boy (almost 13) is mostly calm. I really don’t know how my 9yr. old learned to read as he is always on the go. I can’t tell ya that your 7 yr. old will change much! My 9yr. old has been on the go since day one. And to my surprise he is ‘learning through life’!! AND I still don’t make any of my boys write for anything except the occasional journal entry *gasp*! They do plenty of writing on their own while they are creating their own games/ playing cards/ etc. I don’t think there is any sense in forcing a child (boys) to tears over writing. When it’s necessary they will write….
my 2cents
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Our first 2 girls, now ages 21 and 18, were typical little girls~very compliant, studious…. Our younger two girls, now ages 11 and 7 are found most often bouncing out of their seats, crawling under the table to retrieve their pencil for the 14th time, standing on their heads in the chair, rolling in the floor. They do love for me to read aloud, and the 11 year old can sit pretty still (if she’s drawing or coloring), but that’s about it. Our schooling took a definite new path with these two. In fact, I felt like a new homeschooler all over. Four girls~two completely different experiences!
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QUeSTION: How did you get from Lousiana to Georgia and back to get that picture of HAYDEN sitting on his chair like that….?????
Seriously…..we have 2 peas in a pod apparently~
I’m laughing OUT loud! He is a good student…just TOTALLY different from the girls! COMPLETELY different…boundless energy, and he like to “elaborate” by telling a story with each lesson…his interpretation..it gets kind of funny. He’d be sooooo stifled in school…
But really, you NAILED the photo! I’ll take some, just to prove it!
You made me LAUGH! I needed it this morning!!
lori
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A great book on the subject: Why Gender Matters by Dr. Sax. Highly recommend it.
Very good post.
~Luke
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Interesting….I don’t have any boys so I can’t say from that point of view. But our 12 year old daughter, can’t sit still for 30 seconds. Anywhere. At home I tolerate it, it drives me insane in church. So while the majority of girls may possibly sit compliantly and listen, mine…not so much.
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Hehe, I think those lines get muddied when you have a daughter that has three older brothers. She can out-gas, out-burp, etc..(you get the idea)her brothers…. all dressed up in a sweet bow and dress. And she is my least likely to sit and listen to a story. *sigh*
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Oh.my.goodness! LOLOL! Nothing to add except BTDT!
Not only is Darnelle a wise mentor, but I’ll bet she’s praying for you, too!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
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If EVER a picture painted a thousand words . . . this is the one!!! I had to call Christopher (now 17) to the computer to show him what homeschooling him in the early years looked like! He thought it was hilarious and wanted to know if I remembered the time we did math under the porch! I had forgotten the lengths I had gone to get that boy’s attention! Good Times.
I have an urge to print that photo and pass it on to a few “boy mom’s” I know who don’t quite ‘get it’ yet! Girl you blessed me today.
And . . . a word to all the “boy mom’s” out there . . . today he’s hanging upside down at the table and counting spiders under the porch. Tomorrow, he’s sitting intently in the living room quietly slamming a calculus test. It happens – I PROMISE!!!!
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Hilarious! I thought you took a picture of my son!!! I do think there are differences in boys and girls, but I have noticed a greater divergence between learning styles that has nothing to do with their gender. My oldest dd is reluctant to do ANYTHING except reading (unless it’s her idea), and she’s my kinesthetic learner! My son is auditory and lets you know it! Yet won’t sit still, even while eating!
I guess it’s God’s way of laughing at us for trying to figure out our children….
God Bless,
Brandie
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I like the idea of taking pictures and writing of adventures. Must get my children to update their blogs and count that toward some sort of specialized “English in the popular media” course LOL!
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My oldest is like that, very kinesthetic and creative and always on the move. I think lots of boys are like that, but it also depends on their learning style. My younger son is very visual and not quite as kinesthetic, though I send both boys outside as much as possible to expend their energy.
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I have to agree with Angela about the effect of three big brothers on a little girl! Yes, my pre-school princess can trash talk and hold her own. Ya’ gotta be tough with three big brothers.
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Hi Amy! I just found your article and pic of your son upside down in the chair. I called to my 16 year old dd that my son (now 14) has a clone!!! You described Willy to the ‘T’. From the pic, he even has those same giant feet! (Willy now stands 6 ft at 14…thought I’d warn you.) He never did settle in to “book learning”, but using hands-on methods and real-life projects he is a math wiz and plans to become a machinist when he’s 18. He hasn’t much patience for fiction. Zero tolerance for writing unless it’s his own lists of materials and plans for new truck designs, or new mechanical inventions/machines. Working still on legibal cursive, print is fine. All-in-all he’s becoming quite a man, and a very responsible one…just not one inclined toward The Classics. I have a dd,4, that’s quite the linguist, reader, speaks 4 languages, loves to write. Yay!!
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Oh it is so true!! I love your article. My ds who is 10 is the same way!! It drives me nuts and I am trying to find “quiet” things for him to use in his hands!!! We keep losing them!! He HATES writing and it is a very tearful part of everyday. but isn’t it nice to find ways to engage them and when it works…YAHOO!!
Thanks for your insight!!!
Bunny
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