Trusting His mind, transforming mine
November 11, 2009 by LauraL
If there is one thing I have learned recently, it’s that God has NOT changed His mind about me.
Not His plans, His purpose, His calling for my life. None of it has changed. Before the foundations of the world, He had a plan for my life, just like He does for you, a specific purpose for me alone that no one else can fulfill. The enemy would like me to think that because of poor choices on my part, or other people, that His plan has been altered somehow. He would like us to think that divorce, death, or financial crisis has the power to change His mind, that now I must settle for Plan B so to speak. That is a lie that we must not allow ourselves to embrace!!
As a single homeschooling mother of three beautiful daughters, I must make my decisions based on the Word of God alone, not our culture or even well meaning friends or family.
We must be passionate about teaching and training our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We must be committed to raising them to know God intimately!
I have learned to trust Him for my very life and that of my children. There have been seasons when I cried out to Him to rescue me, knowing that our very life depended on it. He has been faithful, without fail, every time. When the doctors had no answers, He was our Healer. When I had no ability to pay my bills, He alone was our Provider. When I felt too weary to homeschool, He was my Faithful Friend, my Strength, and my Wisdom. When I needed a parent myself to turn to, He was my Father, my Comforter. He is my All in All….my Everything. It is in Him that I trust. And it is this trust, this relationship with the Lord that I must model for my children.
I had cancer as a 12 year old child. Now, 25 years later, although in complete remission, a side effect has surfaced and my vocal chords have stopped working. In February of this year I found myself in an ambulance on the way to the ER gasping for air, fighting for my life. The options were to intubate or have a trachea inserted. I had my only brother called, who at that time lived on the West Coast. After he talked to the surgeon, we opted for the trachea. It would give us an advantage when the time came for subsequent surgeries. It was supposed to be a pretty simple and straight forward procedure. It was just supposed to be a few days in the hospital. What transpired was 9 days in the hospital, most of which was spent in ICU. It was a horrific experience.
Since that time I’ve had several more surgeries in an effort to create a new airway. Although the surgeries have been largely successful, my body has not healed the way we need it to. The new airway has partially closed up during the healing process. Then it has to opened up again surgically. The last surgery was in August. I was thrilled with the outcome. I was able to go on bike rides with the girls. I was able to exercise for the first time in a long time. I could do the stairs in our home without gasping for air. It was marvelous! But then slowly it became harder and harder to breath again. So, there is now another surgery scheduled for the very near future. I am confident though, that God will have His way in all of this and that His faithfulness will be evident to all!
We are in our 7th year of homeschooling this year. We have experienced our share of challenges and unexpected twists and turns. But that’s the beauty of homeschooling, right? We can be flexible!! A wise woman once told me, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break!” I am determined to raise my children to know God intimately. And my circumstances are temporal, fleeting moments that are always subject to change. But he Lord…He never changes. He’s the same yesterday, today and forever. And His plan for me hasn’t changed either. My God-given destiny as a mother and daughter of the King has not changed simply because my circumstances have changed. God has not changed His mind! It is “I” that must change MY mind! I must transform my way of thinking to be more like His!
We pray about our day, our schedule, and our commitments. I stay open to His leading. I watch closely over the hearts of my children. I’m learning to spend my time wisely, investing in those things of eternal value. And as I learn to trust Him more every day, I find that I can, in fact, do what He’s called me to do! I can raise maidens of virtue that glorify the Lord. I can homeschool successfully! We have learned some hard life lessons this year. But what the enemy meant for death and destruction, God has turned around to benefit us. Our relationships are stronger. We are a stronger, more unified team. Learning is at an all time high!
So as we stand on the promises of God expecting to see His salvation, we continue to do all that we know to do. We look forward with great anticipation to what God is going to do in our lives. For with my God, All things are possible to him who believes!
Laura is in her 7th year as a single homeschool mom to 3 beautiful daughters. Currently they are in the 7th, 6th, and 3rd grades. She enjoys growing and learning along with her children in this journey of life and discipleship at home. She hopes to bring encouragement and hope to women who find themselves in difficult situations. You are invited to follow her homeschooling adventures at www.pillarsinherfathershouse.blogspot.com.
Habits and Hypocrisy
October 25, 2009 by Renae
Throughout childhood, I read a chapter of the Bible every night. My good habit was challenged in high school. Routine became hypocritical, so I stopped. I only read the Word of God when I felt like it.
I cannot recall a specific teacher who introduced this twisted idea of hypocrisy. But somewhere along the way, I concluded feelings revealed how to be true to myself. This decision didn’t affect my school work. For some odd reason, algebra assignments and history essays were completed in spite of grumbling.
The disconnect remained for years. Sometimes I wonder if emotions and reality were shoved together and are still mismatched.
Washing 895 loads of laundry a month, preparing 302 meals a week, and cleaning floors 101 times a day had no place in my youthful dreams. My prince would build a cottage beneath the mountains where we would enjoy sunsets and thunderstorms. I didn’t realize how many floods would come.
Emotions are a gift from the Lord, but we are not designed to live according to the mood of the moment. Right now, I don’t feel like homeschooling. The honeymoon has worn off. The excitement of our first steps into learning brings a smile of remembrance. Our library overflows the space allotted to it. The first books return to the top of the pile.
I’m not excited to teach phonograms again, but joy is set before me.
The joy of hearing words leap off the page.
The joy of reading my little girl’s love notes.
The joy of seeing my child read the Word of God.
It is not hypocrisy to choose love no matter what feelings say. My emotions kick and prod, but they are not Lord.
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him…, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Photo credit: amulligan
Renae teaches her eleven-year-old son and two little girls at home. She has prepared lesson plans, enjoyed children’s literature, and delighted in discovery with her children for five years. By studying Principle Approach philosophy, she realized what she always suspected: the Bible lies at the heart of all subjects. Find her reflections at Life Nurturing Education.
Party Tithe
September 27, 2009 by Luke
The Bible on Stewardship
“I don’t care if ‘the cattle on a thousand hills’ are the Lord’s (Psalm 50:10), because He isn’t giving them to me.”
“I need to be good steward of what I have or else it will fly away (Proverbs 6:10-11). That’s stewardship.”
“I wish I could buy this or that, but I can’t. I have to serve God with my money, what little of it I have.”
“I can’t just buy whatever I want. Certainly not with the way my finances are right now!”
Right?
Actually, no.
While we need to be good stewards of our money, God has a slightly different perspective on what stewardship means.
See, I used to rather despise God’s provision for me. “Sure, God,” I’d say. “You give me enough to live on, but that’s it. My life is miserable because I’m just barely making ends meet.” And all the while I knew that I was just being ungrateful, because He really was blessing me more than just to get by… though not by much. So I was just ungrateful, wasn’t I?
I was poor and ungrateful. And did I mention miserable?
*****
In January of 2007 I had had enough. It was right after another really horrible Christmas: you know, the time when it is better to give than to receive? I couldn’t bear to give because I didn’t have any money in the budget for presents. I couldn’t believe how much we had spent, and was convinced that Brittany and I were going to lose our house or something for our irresponsible spending during the holiday season. I was at a breaking point.
I finally decided to try a thing I’d heard about many times before that my dad called “The Party Tithe.” This concept comes from Deuteronomy 14:22-26. I’ll quote you the KJV because that is often considered the strictest translation, but feel free to look this up in your favorite version. Here’s verse 25:
And thou shalt bestow that [tithe] for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatsoever thy soul desireth: and thou shalt eat there before the LORD thy God, and thou shalt rejoice, thou, and thine household.
We are told by God to take a tenth of our income–on top of the tenth we’ve already tithed for His Kingdom purposes–and spend it on whatever we want as a way of rejoicing before Him.
Brittany and I agreed to put a tenth of what I make into a Party bank account. This account, then, would pay for gifts, eating out, games, movies, splurge items, vacations, and anything else I feel like slipping in there.
Parties and Stewardship
I cannot express how incredibly freeing this has been.
My guess is that it feels as good, if not better, than being debt free. Why? Because I am no longer indebted to my “stewardship” to scrimp and save every penny. I can rest in the joy and peace found in trusting God to take care of the rest. And He has. Because, just like regular tithing, this is about resting in God rather than trying to make ends meet on our own. He provides, and He also gives us rest. That’s the point of taking a Sabbath, of tithing, and the Party Tithe. When you start doing it, life gets better.
Imagine that: The Bible suggesting a way of life that leads to greater freedom, more joy, and even more partying.
That’s exactly how God works. But when I was trusting in the god of money, I wasn’t free, I didn’t experience joy, and I never really partied. I felt poor, beaten down, and constantly enslaved to a budget. Now, I have an entire “spend without guilt” fund that is God ordained. God has commanded that we spend a tenth of our money on rejoicing before Him.
It has been over a year and a half since we started the Party Tithe, and life is so much better. I’m still learning to let go of money and spend it with joy because of God’s goodness to us, but we go out to eat once a week, we can purchase gifts (even for ourselves), and we flew out to California last Christmas to spend time with Brittany’s folks.
And the Party Fund has never been larger.
Luke Holzmann is the son of John and Sarita Holzmann, founders of Sonlight Curriculum, Ltd., in Littleton, CO, where he is the Media Relations Specialist. He attended Biola University, in La Mirada, CA, and earned the BA in Motion Picture Production. You can find his work at http://www.sonlightblog.com/, production-now.com, and lukeholzmann.blogspot.com.
Walking Among Them: Joanna
September 26, 2009 by Lori
The object of this study is to take some time out of our busy, often chaotic days and spend some time with women who have gone before us. Not just any women, but 26 women of the Bible. We’ll “Walk Among Them” and see how their stories relate to our lives. It’s my hope that we will discover God’s presence and grace in our own lives as the lives and lessons of these women unfold before us this year.
Joanna
It’s a name that we don’t often think of when we think of Biblical Women. It’s certainly not a name that comes up in the top five women of the Bible. Our brief walk with Joanna begins in Luke 8:1,
“After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary from whom the seven demons had come out; Joanna the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod’s household’ Susanna and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.”
The ONLY other mention of her is again in Luke. In Luke 24:10 we meet Joanna again, in extraordinary circumstances.
“On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them,
“Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he is risen!
Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again’”
When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and the others. It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed like nonsense.”
Just being mentioned in Scripture is amazing! Joanna is mentioned among the women who were the first to hear of the Resurrection! WOW! We can glean a bit about her from what we read in Scripture. We can assume that she was cured in some way, from something that traditional medicine couldn’t cure and that she was helping to support Jesus and His ministry from her own money. We also know that she was married to the man who managed Herod’s estates. Herod Antipas was the ruler who had John the Baptist murdered, and Antipas was very aware of Jesus, since Jesus was ministering in the same area. In Luke’s Gospel, we are told that Jesus was brought before Pontius Pilate for trial, and then Pilate handed Him back over to Antipas. Joanna was VERY aware of the risk that she was taking by being a committed follower of Jesus.
Joanna understood power. She lived among the powerful and yet she witnessed something in Jesus that was different. His ministry was not about the powerful and she became committed to it. She risked her comfortable life to serve and minister with Jesus.
Joanna was part of Jesus’ close circle of friends. She made the choice to “hang out” with those that Jesus associated with, the poor and the weak, often the lowest members of society. She could have watched it from the comforts of her home, but she chose not to. Joanna was right in the mix, using her own money to support Jesus and his disciples.
Imagine for a moment that you’ve just witnessed the death of a dear friend. Worse yet, contemplate that it was an intentional crucifixion. That is exactly what Joanna witnesses and the morning after the Sabbath, she and a few other women head out to where the body was taken to prepare the body in the proper way. She is simply doing what needs to be done. Imagine in those darkest moments, full of grief and confusion, angels of the Lord appear and remind you of what Jesus promised while He was still alive. Then to hear them proclaim for the first time, “He is NOT here! He is risen from the dead!”
Joanna is among those first few women to hear this amazing news! Joanna certainly experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs in her time on earth. Her commitment to Christ is why we remember her and the lessons of Jesus’ healing power and an example of faithfulness to Him are lessons she so clearly shares with us.
Again, it’s amazing to me that a woman mentioned so briefly in the Bible can offer us such an example. While we know so little about the woman named Joanna, we take away so very much.
With each woman that we study, I’ll have some thoughts and ideas for reflection, meditation and journaling that will be called “Reflections from the Walk.” It’s in Walking Among Them that we can learn lessons that we can take with us on our daily walks.
Reflections from the walk:
Clearly Joanna had resources. Her husband was in charge of Herod Antipas’ estate. She could have chosen a much different path for her life. Her commitment to Jesus included using her money to support the ministry. Spend some time this week thinking about how YOU spend your money in regards to ministry. Often we tithe our weekly or monthly offering and forget about it. Go a bit deeper this week. Is there a way for you to take a bit of your spending money, forgo a “want” and use it in a way that serves a ministry at your church? If that isn’t possible (for some it will not be), think of how you can use your talents or offer a service to a ministry at your church that you have not ever offered before. You’ll be amazed at how possible it is to go a step further in faith.
Joanna was healed by Jesus of some medical issue. (Luke 8:1) It may have been this healing that led to her passionate following of Christ. Spend some time reading and learning about the healings of Jesus. Reference Mark 2:3 -12, Mark: 25-29, Mark 1:30-31, Luke 13:11 – 13 to name a few. Healing at the hands of Jesus is an amazing thing. Do you believe Jesus continues to heal today? Pray this week for those who heal, doctors and medical personnel who have been given knowledge to save lives and heal. Pray also for miracles, like those listed above. Pray specifically for someone in your life in need of Christ’s healing power.
Let’s doodle again! This week’s Scripture is one of promise! One that Joanna certainly felt at the time of the Resurrection!
“You who dwell in the dust, wake up and shout for JOY!”
Isaiah 26:19
Finally, as a woman, consider seriously your role in ministry. Are you active in ministry? Are you using your gifts and resources appropriately? Has God placed on your heart an area that He would like you to serve? Journaling these thoughts and praying sincerely about them could open up ministry opportunities that you have never before considered. Joanna likely did not always imagine herself a disciple of Jesus, but it was God’s plan for her life…what is His plan for yours?
A downloadable PDF version is available HERE.
Lori is a 6th year homeschool mom to 3. Currently she homeschools an 9th grader, a 7th grader and a 5th grader. Lori hopes to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. It’s in the daily details of life that she is continually inspired! Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give and at Internet Cafe Devotions.
Irrational Fears 101
September 25, 2009 by Barbara
Let me tell you, if the Lord handed out extra jewels for our eternal crowns based on number of and sheer irrationality of one’s, well, irrational fears, my crown would be so sparkly and bejeweled that you would need to wear sunglasses to look upon me, and so heavy that I would need a brace to support my neck in order for me to lift my head.
Allow me to list a few of my irrational fears to prove that, in this area of life at the least, I excel.
I am afraid:
- that if a fly buzzes around me in particular for a lengthy amount of time at an outdoor function that you’ll think I have poor personal hygiene and will think less of me.
- that if I say to a vendor at a farmer’s market that I might come back to buy his bag of apples and then instead buy someone else’s bag of apples, that he will go home and tell his wife about this lying, cheating, rude lady who isn’t supporting his farm business.
- that my dentist can tell that I haven’t been flossing and thinks I’m a lesser human because of it.
- that I’ll accidentally mix bleach with whatever it is you aren’t supposed to mix it with and I’ll fill my house with some deadly chemical and poison my whole family.
- that if I eat junk food, in secret, while driving in the car that this will be the time that I get rear-ended and choke to death on my Nachos Bell Grande.
- that if my children can’t tie their own shoes by the time they start grade one that they will have emotional issues from my negligence well into their adult years.
- that someone will pull my children aside in a public place and spontaneously quiz them on the capitals of the Canadian Provinces, they won’t do well, and they’ll be forcibly removed from my care.
- that every police officer I see behind me on the road is about to pull me over on account of my poor driving, or on account of a crime of which I’m being falsely accused.
- that my not knowing how to ride a bike really does make me a loser.
- that the people I knew in High School will find me on Facebook and air all my past failures to the people who know and love me today.
- that I will be forced to learn how to ride a bike and I’ll either a) never get it and thus be a loser forever or b) finally get it and have to admit that I really like it.
- that my sister will die not knowing Jesus personally and it was my fault for not telling her more clearly.
- that maybe, just maybe God’s promises in His Word don’t really apply to me.
- that if I need to ask for help it means that I’ve taken on more than the Lord meant for me to do and that I’ve failed.
What about you? What things keep you up at night? I bet I’m not the only one with a list as long as her arm of ridiculous things to be stressed out about. And how many of them do you think are legitimate? About how many of these fears is the Lord saying, “Oh yes, my daughter. Please worry about that one. It is of eternal significance and truly something that you need to work out for me”?
Don’t get me wrong, some of these things feel really, really legitimate. And some things in our life DO need a lot of thought and prayer, and some planning to avoid disaster, so far as it depends on us.
But what about this?
“Do not be anxious about anything.” (Phil. 4:6)
How do we do that? How do I just not be anxious? Is there a magic pill to take? Is there a self-controlled, white-knuckling I can do to overcome this? Do I just shove down all my anxieties deeper and deeper into the heart of me, burying them with food, with computer time, with shopping, with bitterness, with ministry addiction,…?
No, no, no. Praise the Lord, no. Read the verses before and after Phillipians 4:6 to get the whole, beautiful, freeing, wonderful picture.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice!”
Step one: Look for the joyful things in your life, no matter how small and seemingly trivial. Rejoice in them to yourself in prayer time, and to your friends and family around you. Say it out loud so you don’t forget the happy, non-anxious things in your life.
“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.”
Step two: Okay, seriously? What is the worst that could happen if someone takes a really unflattering picture of me at a church function? Is my anxious reaction reasonable? Look at the irrational fears in the grand scheme of things. Watch them shrink to nothing.
“The Lord is at hand.”
Step three: Those things that aren’t trivial that are worrying you like health concerns, finances, your own sin and guilt, your children’s education and safety…all these things we can be “not anxious” over because the Lord is at hand. He is beside you, guiding you, instructing you, calming you, working out every detail for your good and His glory.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Step four: Don’t pretend you don’t need help both in getting through the fearful situation in a practical, temporal way, and in getting over the emotions attached to the anxiety in our lives. Please, really and truly take it to the Lord in prayer, and then leave it there. He knows we need Him. Why can’t we admit we need Him too?
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Step five: Breathe. Isn’t that what we want: Peace?
This week I want to surrender my anxious thoughts and my restless heart to the Lord of Peace. I want to be reasonable about the things that are irrational fears so that I’m thinking clearly enough to rightly consider the issues that ought to be brought before the Lord in prayer and thanksgiving and supplication. I want to trust that the Lord is at hand, ready to cover me in His peace. I want to be free of irrational fears, don’t you?
And if that means I need to take a smaller crown in glory, so be it.
Barbara and her husband, as they homeschool their 7 children, are finding out that no two children are alike! Between lessons and lunches, Barbara blogs at Fuel by Barbara.
When sacrifice hurts
September 15, 2009 by Nikowa
sac-ri-fice (noun): destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else; something given up or lost (the sacrifices made by parents)
Sacrifices are a common occurrence in virtually every American household nowadays. Whether it’s sacrificing eating out in order to pay off debt or sacrificing your time to volunteer, sacrificing is now commonplace.
Generally we think of sacrifice as something that we do that will help our family in one way or another. But what if your sacrifices are hurting instead of helping?
Here is an example where our sacrifices were hurting our family more than it was helping us. I hope that sharing our story will help those that are sacrificing too.
*******
Recently my husband went back to work after 6 months of being unemployed. We were so thankful; but this job is 100 miles away from home, one way. In order to save money on gas, time traveling, wear/tear on our new 2nd vehicle, and decrease sleep deprivation for my husband, we decided that he should stay with my father. My dad lives approximately half way between our house and the job site.
Problem solved, right?
Not quite.
It seems that we were all sacrificing things to save time and money.
- I was sacrificing sleep, because quite honestly I cannot sleep without my husband at home. I had fears of break-ins (oh the noises you hear at night). Add in the stress from running a household as if I were single again, and this did not have me in a good mood. Little things that normally wouldn’t effect me, got on my nerves. I was overwhelmed and sick. Literally.
- The boys are stressed because of fear that Daddy’s not home and in their minds, he might not come back. Separation anxiety was making them defiant, clingy, irritable and this makes Momma even more stressed. In complete honesty, I got tired and would more often than not let them have their way. I knew this was wrong but I was only one person. I can’t do it all. I re-evaluated my priorities and making sure the clothes were hung up properly wasn’t on the top of the “to-do” list, ya know?
- Daddy’s stressed because when he *is* home, the boys are testing their new boundaries. They were more “sassy”, demanding and he felt like he was constantly getting onto them when he wanted to be hugging them.
Our whole life was flipped upside down because of sacrifice.
But what do we do?
We had to take a long hard look at our sacrifices and ask ourselves, “Is it worth it?”
In our particular situation: “Are all of these problems that our family is encountering worth Daddy staying away from home 4 days a week?”
Not to us.
So in our situation the sacrifices that we were making as a family was actually hurting us more than it was helping us. Now my husband is coming home every night and the stress is gone. Sure, we’ve had to change some things around (ahem, making some different sacrifices) like earlier bedtimes, but *this* is a sacrifice that we’re willing to make.
Nikowa is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to two boys. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.
Walking Among Them: Salome, Mother of James and John
September 5, 2009 by Lori
The object of this study is to take some time out of our busy, often chaotic days and spend some time with women who have gone before us. Not just any women, but 26 women of the Bible. We’ll “Walk Among Them” and see how their stories relate to our lives. It’s my hope that we will discover God’s presence and grace in our own lives as the lives and lessons of these women unfold before us this year.
Salome, Mother of James and John, The Zebedee Brothers
This week we have an opportunity to walk with another amazing woman of the Bible. A woman, who is, as many of the women we meet, only mentioned briefly in the Bible. We don’t glean anything about her physical appearance from Scripture, but yet after the brief encounters we have with her, we take much away. Her story shows a life filled with passion and purpose. Imagine being known first as a devoted follower of Jesus and also as the mother of the “Sons of Thunder.” They weren’t given this name for nothing! She knew these two and the Lord had amazing plans for their lives. She was first and foremost a mother, giving birth to 2 boys who eventually grew to become one of Jesus’ first twelve.
The fact is that she was a mom. Salome was a wife and mother. Her husband made his living as a fisherman in Capernaum, and her sons were called by Jesus while they were working as fishermen as well. They obviously knew who Jesus was at the time He approached them on their father Zebedee’s boat. We are told that they “immediately left the boat and their father and followed Him.” (Matthew 4: 22) She too becomes a devoted follower of Christ and is one of the three women who stood at the cross, witnessed Jesus’ crucifixion and later stood in the presence of the angel at the tomb who told of the glorious resurrection. What highs and lows she experienced in her time on earth.
Salome was a mother. Her boys, James and John some of Jesus’ best friends and it’s easy to imagine her love and devotion to Him as well. When her son’s were called by Jesus she had to be amazed. In the Gospel of Matthew we see Salome’s true “mother colors” come out;
“Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.
“What is it you want?” He asked.
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine sit at your right and the other at your left.”
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered.
Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”
Matthew 20: 20 – 23
It’s easy to sit and wonder, “What was she thinking?” How many of us can honestly say that we wouldn’t have asked the same questions, given the circumstances? She was doing what most of us would have done, she was trying to do what she thought would make her sons happy. A little bit of “motherly intervention.” Yes, they were grown men, but she KNEW who they were associating with. She thought she had a plan! Scripture tells us that she “begged.” Jesus understood her motives. She was a loving mother, devoted to Jesus and she couldn’t know or understand what she was asking.
As a mother she raised some passionate men. Men whose lives became a reflection of the kinds of children we’d like to raise. Flawless men, no, passionate and purposeful men, absolutely! How did she do it? Our clues lie in how SHE lived her own life. We know that children glean so much from the example that their parents are in their lives, good or bad. Salome’s devotion to Christ and His ministry are evident as she is one of the women who stands at the foot of the cross. Mark 15: 41 tells us, “In Galilee these women had followed Him and cared for His needs.” Salome was one of these women. She loved Jesus. She was an example to her sons. She stayed devoted and clearly was not one to sit around. At a time when others were running scared, she continued with a few other women to finish what needed to be done. There were preparations to the body that needed to be made, and Salome was one of the women who was present at the tomb that morning.
“When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”
But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side and they were alarmed.
“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus of Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here! See the place where they laid Him. But go, tell the disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as He told you.’”
Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.”
Mark 16: 1-8
It’s in the end of this passage that we see that while she was a devoted follower of Christ, she too was human. As we’ve seen before when she questions Jesus about her sons, we see here that she, (along with the other women present), say “nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.” As we read this passage 2000 years later, we tend to think, “What are you ladies afraid of? You have just seen an angel of the Lord! He is alive!” BUT, imagine for a moment that you are there. You’ve watched a crucifixion, the crucifixion of the one that you have been following and caring for. You’ve witnessed the crucifixion of your sons’ best friend and Lord. You’ve gotten up early to do what needs to be done. Salome had to be exhausted. She had to be confused, just like the other disciples and above all she was sad. This news simply overwhelmed them. Could they believe it? Should they believe it? As we read these Scriptures and truly imagine ourselves there, often we find that we, in our own humanness would have reacted exactly the same way.
Salome leaves a legacy behind. While we know very little “about” her, we know so much. We don’t know what she looked like, what she enjoyed doing, how she laughed or what she cooked best, but thankfully we know that she was a devoted woman. Devoted to Jesus and devoted to her sons and that is a legacy in and of itself.
With each woman that we study, I’ll have some thoughts and ideas for reflection, meditation and journaling that will be called “Reflections from the Walk.” It’s in Walking Among Them that we can learn lessons that we can take with us on our daily walks.
Reflections from the walk:
Salome was, like many of us, a mother. Reread Matthew 20:20 and think about it from a mother’s perspective. What would you have asked of Jesus for your children? As mothers sometimes we THINK that we KNOW what is best for our children. If you find yourself struggling with submission in regards to your children, pray.
Consider journaling your prayers as a mother if you already don’t. It’s an amazing way to open your heart up to God in the written word. Often words flow on paper that we are unable to speak. As a mother, we know our children best. Present your requests to God for their lives and then reflect, as Salome had to, that there will be times when those requests will be denied. Pray for understanding and faith as you pray for your children, young or old. Remember that ultimately our children are not ours, but God’s, and it’s only in that understanding that we will truly be followers ourselves and know just how to come to God in prayer.
As a devoted follower, Salome was a woman of action. She left what we imagine was a comfortable life in Galilee to join the boys and follow Jesus. Look at your life and spend some time thinking about ways that YOU can engage yourself. It may be to prepare a meal for some of your own children’s friends or to reach out in the community. Look at the commitment of Salome to the ministry of Christ for inspiration.
Memorize Isaiah 66:13
“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.”
Allow yourself to get creative and doodle a bit! Creatively write out this verse in a way that best expresses YOUR creativity. (Use markers, pens, stamps or even the computer) Place this unique creation somewhere that you will be reminded daily of this promise!
Finally, examine your own sense of pride. What areas do you struggle with in regards to pride? It’s not always easy to look inside of ourselves but it’s necessary if we want to grow in our relationship with Christ. Ask God to reveal to you any areas in which your own pride or ambitions are getting in the way of what He wants to do in your life or in the lives of your children. This will NOT be easy, but it can be the most rewarding exercise if we honestly open up and come to the cross and deal with unresolved issues of pride.
A PDF version can be found HERE.
Lori is a 6th year homeschool mom to 3. Currently she homeschools a 9th grader, a 7th grader and a 5th grader. Lori hopes to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. It’s in the daily details of life that she is continually inspired! Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give and at Internet Cafe Devotions.
How to respond to the negative stereotypes of homeschooling
September 4, 2009 by Sallie
My mother is 90% deaf in one ear and about 75% in the other ear. She had a bout with scarlet fever when she was a little girl and it pretty much ruined her hearing. She has learned how to read lips pretty well but must concentrate to understand people. Her favorite saying when she hasn’t quite grasped what someone has said is “Do what, hon?!” It’s a phrase I have never heard anyone else say and one that I swore I would never repeat but I catch myself saying it lately. A LOT. It pops out especially when I get frustrated over the stereotypes that other people associate with homeschool families.
For instance, the other day I was sitting with a group of moms and they were talking about teenage hormones and the cat fights certain young men and women were having because of them. I said I could relate and they laughed me off. “Your kids are homeschooled. You don’t have that problem,” they said. “Do what, Hon?!” was the phrase that went through my mind.
Oh, right, I forgot. We’ve got the perfect families. I think that is what they must be thinking. But they are so very wrong.
I remember a few weeks ago, too, when prayer requests were being taken in one of my groups for the families as kids were getting ready to go back to school. I asked for prayer, too, as I organize our books, write lesson plans, and buy our supplies and curriculum. I had many bewildered looks and someone even said “But you’ve got it so easy. You can sleep late and do whatever you want.”
Guess what phrase went through my mind again? That’s right! “Do what, Hon?!”
I find that I don’t get angry at all with people who hold to these negative stereotypes of homeschooling but rather I feel sad that they have such a lack of understanding. I take it as my calling to gently explain to them why the view they hold isn’t accurate. I have been the recipient of the sharp end of a tongue (and sadly the giver of that sharpness as well) in the past and understand how hurtful it can be. I have learned as it says in Proverbs that a soft answer turns away wrath.
Romans 15:1-3 tells us that the stronger should bear with the failings of the weaker. Whether you believe those who homeschool are stronger in faith or not doesn’t really matter when you look at this scripture. I know plenty of Christians who are much stronger in their faith than I am and they don’t homeschool. However, homeschoolers who have a strong faith in their reasons for homeschooling ARE stronger in their beliefs than folks who have grasped hold of the negative stereotypes of homeschooling without determining in their own minds what is true and accurate. Bearing with the failings of the weaker does not simply meaning putting up with or tolerating. A word study will show you that it actually means carrying and lifting them up because they aren’t able to do it on their own. Jesus Christ never merely tolerated or bore with us. He lifted us up quite often, and still does!
Angry rebuttals will never do anything to change a persons mind when they have already given themselves over to a negative thought. Only gentleness and patience will make a difference. Especially if you are a Christian who homeschools your child, you have a duty to bear gently with others who hold to these negative viewpoints. Here are a few scriptures that will help you to remember that when you are greeted with negative stereotypes as well.
5Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:5, King James Version)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23, King James Version)
2With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 3Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3, King James Version)
13Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. (James 3:13, King James Version)
2To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. (Titus 3:2, King James Version)
Have you faced negative stereotypes about homeschooling before? What are some Christ-like answers you have given in response to them? Please share in the comments…
Sallie is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone in a round hole world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales
What My Children Teach Me
September 3, 2009 by Belinda
Recently, a follower of mine “tweeted” (twittered? Twitted?) a link to a homeschool conference video. The particular topic of the video was, “What did Your Kids Teach You this Past Homeschool Year?”
As humbling a thought as this is for many of us who pour hours (not to mention dollars!) into curriculum and who sweat over flawless execution of our plans, it is very real. I should correct myself: it is very real if we are willing to step out of self and embrace the fact that we are not the only vessel through which education can flow. So, I thought about my own year, and what my children taught me. At first, the answers were superficial, and I almost felt silly. Yet, a spirit willing to learn something new led me to delve deeper, and I was left with such a spine-chilling sense of purpose until I thought it might bless you, too. This is what my kids taught me last year, and each year, for that matter:
Patience is not just a virtue; it is life and breath to your home environment. Whether you are entering year 1 of your homeschooling journey or year 101, it is your journey. Though some will take it as their personal responsibility to tell you what you should do, where you should be, and how you should have gotten there, what will be most important is to create an environment where your children can learn. Set goals, even stretch goals, but be open to your children’s needs, their challenges, and the way that they learn best. You will gain far more this way than by following a strict list of have-to’s.
Field trips in-the-moment can be very effective, but on a budget, a living book will free both the body and the mind. Not too long ago, our own trial with temporary unemployment during this recession left me somewhat depressed about all of the trips and tours we did not take this year. As an aside, our area offers a number of free/ low-cost trips and tours, but I prefer an in-the-moment excursion that enhances our current studies to a field trip just for the sake of a field trip. This means that our field trips often take us away from our immediate area and require planning and budgeting. We were not able to do that this past year—a real source of frustration and anguish for the way that I like to educate. Yet, one of my favorite bloggers described best what can happen when we experience learning through quality literature:
‘Music, art, animals, nature, politics, literature, poetry, equations, Rome, Iceland, Ireland, the moors, the sea, metropolises, machinery, the universe, the past, the poor, royalty, Heaven and earth…you name it, they have dipped their hands in the chest and pulled out something of value as they have explored truth and beauty in the world around them.’
From LindaFay’s HigherUp and Further In, “Ask and it Shall be Given You,” May 25, 2009
Taming the tongue is harder than taming a lion. This applies not only to how we speak to our children, but also to the negative self-talk we fall prey to when things are not going well. Once those plans go awry, it becomes easy to embrace what others might have said in a moment of sheer brainlessness:
“Maybe you aren’t cut out for this.”
“I’ll never be able to…” (or worse, thought about our children:) “You’ll never be able to…”
Come against the attack of the enemy, confess what the Lord says about you and your children, and step out on His renewed grace and mercy.
It may be the song of an unfamiliar bird, not the travels of Odysseus, that inspires a child to explore and discover. The end result is the same. I love to plan. I get excited about planning the way that some women get excited at a shopping mall or a lady’s night out. But, I realize—though it took some time—that plans can sometimes get in the way of what I really want the homeschool experience to produce in our children: a natural yearning to know more, to grow more, and to be more. When the kids run to the field guide to identify a stranger at our feeder, or launch into a discussion about some historical event or character (when I want them to do something else), this, too, is learning. Just because it was not written on my outline does not belittle the value of a purposeful diversion or its power to catapult their interests and overall education.
When you cannot feel God’s hand in your plans, trust His heart. Jeremiah conveyed it to us so very well, and my words will never be as eloquent as the Word of God:
For I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
May God bless you and quicken your spirits to the lessons He wants you to teach, as well as the lesson he wants your young ones to teach you.
Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs.
What School Do They Go To?
September 1, 2009 by Brenda
There are two things that I avoid bringing up to someone that I first meet. Simply because, I immediately get labeled as the most patient woman in the world and that’s a lot of pressure to put on someone, especially someone who blows her lid quite frequently. If the infamous two questions are asked the conversation inevitably takes a U-turn and the questions start firing! If I happen to be in a particular mood then they can get uncomfortable.
“He’s so cute. Is he your first?”
No, we actually have five children, he’s the youngest.“What school do they all go to?”
Well, we homeschool.
Screeeeeeeeeeech! That’s the sound of the conversation turning and the same ignorant homeschool questions start flying. “Do you have to have a degree to homeschool?, Why do you homeschool?, How do you know what to teach?, How do you do it all?, Are you going to homeschool through highschool?, Will you need help? You poor thing, do you get out much?….”
Then, I usually hear about how I must be the most patient woman in the world and how they could never do it because their children are monsters and drive them nuts. Little do they know that patience is my life-long goal, because I don’t have it mastered yet. It’s a little joke that God and I keep going between us. He gives me a lot of opportunities to conquer patience each day. So, what is it that keeps me happy to be a homeschool mother of five, if so many other moms would rather pat theirs on the head and send them off to a classroom full of 30 other little monsters? Is it that I like being challenged by God’s little joke on me every day?
When I think about the reason that I homeschool, I am reminded that I was called by the Lord. My immature, inexperienced flesh was called to follow the direction of the Lord. I said yes. And, I haven’t looked back since. There have been many difficulties along the way, but as long as I remain open to growth and refinement then I have nothing to fear. So, its not MY strength or MY patience, but it is the strength of the Lord that I rely on daily to homeschool my children. So, the answer that I give in the line of firing questions is “By the grace and strength of the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weaknesss. Most gladly, therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Brenda is a homeschooling mother of 5, who has a wonderful husband encouraging her to be the best woman that God has created her to be. Together they are very intentional about spending time together as a family. She considers her daily life with her children as her ministry and has found many avenues to encourage others to live a lifestyle of learning. She is the founder of an online homeschool community, Our Lifestyle of Learning and a curriculum review site authored by a group of well-known homeschool bloggers, Curriculum Choice. She blogs about their homeschool journey and family traditions at Tie That Binds Us.
