As if homeschool moms don’t feel enough guilt already about not being perfectly patient, perfectly knowledgeable, and perfectly organized, those who are chronically ill also add in a hefty dose of guilt for not always feeling well enough to participate fully in family and homeschooling life.

Younger children don’t understand why mom is on the couch—again. They don’t understand why mom can’t play tag—again. They don’t know why mom can’t pick them up—again. They just know that they’re sad because you’re sad. Younger children can still help mom feel better, though. Little chubby arms encircling mom’s neck and sloppy kisses are the best therapy. Chronically ill moms can let their kids know that the best way they can help is to dispense that kind of medicine. Mom would probably feel better with a blankie and a stuffed animal to snuggle with, too. From a very young age, children need to feel needed; we have a chance here for a win-win situation.

Older children and teens also have a difficult time understanding why they need to make dinner, watch the littler ones, and skip the youth group party when mom’s not feeling well. Oh, they may understand the words pain, limitations, and lack of energy, but they don’t get how it applies to their lives. The solution is to train them to be godly servants as Paul advocates in Philippians 2:2–4 (MSG), “Do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” If I figure out an easy way to get this concept through a thick-skulled teenager’s brain, you’ll be the first to know. But, we’re all on the faith journey together, so maybe we need to offer up a bit of grace with our training.

Children can be trained to do just about any household chore, including cooking simple meals. Of course, as they get older, they are capable of taking on more responsibilities. The trick is to utilize the times when you’re feeling good to teach these types of skills. Rather than feeling guilty for making your children help, think of it as home economics training for their futures.

Instead of sounding like I’m preaching to the husbands, I’ll just encourage the wives to let their husbands know what they need. I will also encourage the husbands to be sensitive to their wives’ needs. There, that wasn’t too preachy, was it?

Moms, I bet you thought you were off the hook, didn’t you? Nope. How can you best take care of yourself? By letting go of the guilt. I know, I know, that’s easier said than done. Use the following Scriptures on grace to combat the guilt. “At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, ‘My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’ Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift” (2 Cor. 12:8–9, MSG). “But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift” (Eph. 4:7, NKJV). “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble’” (James 4:6, NKJV). “Grow in grace and understanding of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 3:18, MSG).

Many blessings of grace to you and yours as you struggle through homeschooling with a chronic illness.

Bethany LeBedz is a veteran homeschooler, professional editor, writer, and speaker. You can check out her business website at www.bethanylebedz.com. Bethany contributes regularly to Heart of the Matter Online, has a regular column in the Home School Enrichment magazine, and occasionally writes for other magazines, websites, and newsletters. She lives in North Carolina with her family and she enjoys music, reading, scrapbooking, sewing, genealogy, and keeping up with friends in her spare time. Be sure to follow her blog, Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom, at www.bethanylebedz.blogspot.com.

photo courtesy Darcy at My 3 Boybarians

Sometimes you need some help and encouragement. Other times you wish you had someone to challenge you or help refine your vision. If you’re willing to make a change, see a new angle, step outside your box, or just get started then you’re probably in a good spot to seek the aid of a mentor. A mentor can accompany you on your journey, model solutions that work, share resources, and offer a listening ear. And you’re in luck because in the world of homeschooling, mentors are not hard to find.

Paper mentors. Otherwise known as authors, these homeschoolers have obviously been in the trenches long enough to find the wisdom and balance to write a book. If you feel alone as a homeschooler, paper mentors can inspire and nudge you. I have personally benefited from Diana Waring and Carol Barnier’s books. You may resonate with Ruth Beechick, Lisa Whelchel, or other authors. The bonus for homeschoolers is that our paper mentors are available at all hours of the day and are usually personally accessible; I’ve met mine at conferences time and again.

Your homeschooling group. These groups are really undercover mentor groups. I’ve moved between four different states and I have never been in a group where participants weren’t willing to share ideas, solutions, and curriculum. However, you must take initiative if you want to get your needs met. Ask questions, start conversations, observe their children, and be open to differences. There is something to learn from everyone. And if you hone in on one friend you really click with, stick with her. She’s a treasure.

The mom that inspired you. When my oldest child was two, I connected with a fantastic homeschooling family. I asked this mother so many questions and she helped break down my stereotypes. I began and she cheered. I questioned and she answered. I vented and she listened. I persevered and then she turned around and asked me, “How do you handle xyz?” It’s been a relationship of give and take over the course of years and miles. Though I now have wings of my own I know I can always seek and receive her guidance.

You. If you’ve been home educating for a while, you can help someone else get started. If you’ve found a groove, encourage someone who’s hit a slump. If you’ve seen a breakthrough in your child, share it with others. If you no longer worry about testing, cps or what other people think, then know that others need to glean from your confidence and advocacy. If anyone has ever helped you, then be a mentor for someone new. It’s how this whole thing really works.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 11 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education, is married to her pastor-husband of 16 years, and resides in their newish home in Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated her boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

Chronic illnesses can’t be cured even though they may be managed—sometimes better than others. They deplete energy, happiness, and general feelings of well-being. Often, they cause wide-spread pain. Homeschool moms who have chronic illnesses feel misunderstood many times. These illnesses are not all in their heads. They can’t just get over them.

These illnesses are not like other common sicknesses that elicit sympathy automatically. Please don’t think I’m trying to downplay the seriousness of other physical ailments; I’m not. I’m just trying to highlight a misunderstood category of illnesses.

People don’t want to talk about chronic illnesses because they don’t know what they are, and they don’t know what to say. Numerous chronic illnesses are also invisible, meaning that they’re not obvious. I’m just going to list a few of them, even though there are many, many more: chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, anxiety, lupus, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, and depression. If you were to take a poll of the homeschooling moms you know personally, I’d bet that many more of them have a chronic illness than you thought.

Homeschool moms (or anyone else) who have chronic illnesses don’t want to be defined by their diagnoses; neither do they want to whine about them all of the time. Okay, maybe they would like to whine, but they usually suppress the urge! But, they still need our understanding and our help.

Here is a partial list of ideas to let those special homeschool moms know that we love them and want to help them:

• Ask how they’re feeling—and really mean it, but be aware that they may not want to talk about their illness(es)
• Take them a meal or cookies for no reason
• Offer to take their kids on a field trip
• Don’t make them feel guilty for not being able to do extra activities
• Offer to watch their little ones occasionally
• Offer to teach an elective such as art, state history, music, or science labs to their kids as well as your own
• Don’t ask them to take on additional jobs or service projects
• Don’t distance yourself from them because they can’t keep up with activities that you used to enjoy together
• Send them an email (or even a snail mail card) to let them know you’re praying for them
• Give them a hug—they aren’t contagious
• Understand that no matter which chronic illness(es) they have, their energy level is much lower than it used to be
• Understand that they’re even more frustrated by their limitations than you are
• Ask if there’s anything specific you can do to help
• Do for them what you’d like your friends to do for you if you weren’t feeling well

Dear Sisters, I leave you with some scriptural encouragement to bless your fellow homeschooling moms. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). “Nevertheless you have done well that you shared in my distress” (Philippians 4:14). “And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me’” (Matthew 25:40). (All references taken from the NKJV.)

Bethany LeBedz is a veteran homeschooler, professional editor, writer, and speaker. You can check out her business website at www.bethanylebedz.com. Bethany contributes regularly to Heart of the Matter Online, has a regular column in the Home School Enrichment magazine, and occasionally writes for other magazines, websites, and newsletters. She lives in North Carolina with her family and she enjoys music, reading, scrapbooking, sewing, genealogy, and keeping up with friends in her spare time. Be sure to follow her blog, Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom, at www.bethanylebedz.blogspot.com.

I am homeschooling my 2 very active boys. Age 7 and 5 and I am stuck. I think the biggest reason I am stuck is that I taught special education in the public school system for 9 years and I just have in my mind how our school day “should look” and it doesn’t fit and honestly homeschooling is really frustrating and I don’t like it.

I just can’t seem to break out of that and embrace what works best for us! I also think I have “too many” ideas and things I want to cover and have trouble focusing on what is best.

Anyway…. I would love your thoughts and prayers.

–Losing Heart

Dear Losing Heart,
I have SO been where you are. I understand your heavy heart. You might expect I’ll give you a pep talk saying “Never give up! You can’t surrender! The collapse of family structure is on the line” and so on. But those talks tend to heap loads of guilt on someone who’s simply looking for solutions. My guess is you already have guilt (It’s a mommy’s way). The truth is you can give up and it would not be the end of the world. I won’t join the ranks of those who tell parents that if they quit homeschooling, they’ve failed.

All that said, I still don’t believe you need to give up. There is so much of value in the homeschooling life that I’d hate to see you and your boys lose out on. So we’ll go straight to a different discussion.

When I first began homeschooling, I tried my best to make my school look and walk and talk like a traditional classroom. That was my model. I didn’t think it was “a” way to teach; I thought it was “the” way to teach, the only way. After all, if it wasn’t, why would teaching schools teach future teachers to use it? Thankfully I stuck in there, and with each passing year, my classroom grew more and more relaxed, less and less structured, more and more able to follow the gifts and interests of my children. This is a transition that almost every homeschooling mom/teacher must make. We all start with what we know. A few continue with the traditional model, but they are rare, and I believe in doing so, they lose out on the many truly glorious options available to them and their children.

Here’s the bad news: moms who’ve been trained as teachers have the hardest time finding new models. You’ve already expressed this awareness. But you need to know you’re not alone in this. It’s hard for everyone. It’s especially hard for teachers.

Keep in mind, the traditional model isn’t a bad one IF you have large classrooms sizes and more kids coming up the ranks. If your goal is to process a lot of children through a system, this system truly isn’t a bad one, but. . .you have to let some other things go. You can’t follow the strengths of the individual child. There isn’t time. There are too many other kids to consider. It’s an okay system for moving groups en masse through a process.

However. . .
• If a particular student takes an interest in rocketry and all the physics behind it, nothing can be done, because the whole class doesn’t share the interest AND. . .it’s not on the lesson plan.

• If a particular student has a gift for writing and would love to delve into Shakespeare and all the unfamiliar richness of the older language, nothing can be done, because the whole class doesn’t share the interest AND. . .it’s not on the lesson plan.

• If a particular child shows an early interest in chemistry and would love to play with a lab kit, learning about reactions and properties, nothing can be done, because the whole class doesn’t share the interest AND. . .it’s not on the lesson plan.

• If a particular student just isn’t getting multiplication facts and needs three times the usual time allotment to master it, nothing can be done, because the whole class doesn’t share the need AND. . .it’s not on the lesson plan.

We move onward for the good of the majority. And it makes sense to do so. Holding 25 kids back because of the needs or interests of one child doesn’t make sense.

But in homeschooling, it’s not about the majority. It’s about one child at a time.

You can follow delights. You can follow interests. You can address challenges. You can do pretty much anything that teaches a child that learning is fun and wonderful and lifelong. Before you give up, I would suggest you try different approach. Your kids are so young that you can relax. You couldn’t possibly screw up so badly that they would lose out. So if you’re going to experiment, try it now.

How about a unit study that focuses on something that absolutely delights them?

Bugs?
Monster trucks?
Military?

Make models. Collect samples. Go on field trips. Watch kids’ documentaries. Read biographies of people who are into this subject. Role play. And perhaps most importantly, find another homeschooling mom who has already made that transition and see if you can shadow her in her schooling for a week. Join together for a time. Share the school week or month. Watch what she does differently. Give yourself permission to step away from traditional, even if only for a month.

When I first began homeschooling I collected Scope and Sequence documents from around the country. Public schools. Private schools. Expensive prep schools. Gifted schools. Montessori schools. I put them all together and studied them to get a sense of the most comprehensive scope and sequence I could formulate for my own school. And I made an amazing discovery. Other than a few essentials in learning to read, and of course math, there wasn’t a clear path. Some schools studied earth science in 5th grade and others studies life science. Some studied Ancient Egyptians while others were learning about Thomas Jefferson. Some learned metaphors and similes while others were learning about proper citations. For almost everything, there was no clear chronology of learning.

This was very freeing for me. I realized that as long as they got the same information into their heads by the time they graduated, the method and sequence of how they got it could be completely of my choosing!  I was free to make learning delicious.

This should liberate you from designing your school based on how it “should look”. Instead, apply a new method–What would you need to do for your child to say “THAT was wonderful! Can we do more?”

There it is. That should be your method. That should be your guide. If you start with that idea and changed just ONE lesson in your day, you would see the difference. I suspect that soon you would change another and another. And before you know it, learning in your school is delicious. . .and you’d never want to stop.

Carol Barnier is a fresh, fun and popular conference speaker unlike any you’ve heard before. Her objective is to have the wit of Erma Bombeck crossed with the depth of C.S. Lewis, but admits that most days, she only achieves a solid Lucy Ricardo with a bit of Bob the Tomato. She is a frequent guest commentator on Focus on the Family’s Weekend Magazine broadcast, has been a guest on many radio programs and is a speaker to conferences nationwide. She’s the author of three books about dealing with (or possessing) a non-linear mind in a linear world: How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning, If I’m Diapering a Watermelon, Then Where’d I Leave the Baby?, and The Big WHAT NOW Book of Learning Styles. Her main websites are CarolBarnier.com and SizzleBop.com. You can also find Carol at her blog for moms with distractible kids at SizzleBop. And for fun, see her church humor blog at CarolBarnier.

This year I’m teaching a group of 3rd graders writing, using a theme based book from one of my favorite curriculum companies, IEW. I’m also incorporating grammar, influenced by Rod and Staff, integrating vocabulary from Latin and Greek roots and phrases from Living Memory memorization as well as Latina Christiana and First Form Latin, re-enforcing the kids’ phonics learning utilizing all that we’ve learned from Alpha Phonics and Explode the Code, enjoying the elements of literature using a chart that I unabashedly lifted from one of Rafe Esquith’s books, and generally having a great time laughing and learning together. It’s a full and rich hour that we all totally enjoy.

Becoming a good teacher takes time and energy. It’s difficult to give to your students what you don’t have and while I find teaching English to be a blast you won’t find me signing up to teach anyone Algebra II or Physics. I teach to my strengths and work to outsource and resource areas that I have no natural inclination towards, while at the same time, dedicating some of my resources to continued academic growth, even in areas that I’d rather avoid.

Marva Collins, a gifted educator in Chicago, and the author of Marva Collin’s Way, taught me that being a good teacher means integrating information, making connections, building bridges from one source of information to another, questioning and querying along with your students, and expecting them to live up to high expectations. Being this type of educator is demanding, requiring the teacher to be an autodidact and someone who integrates information from a variety of resources.

What does this mean as a home educator or for those of us who have a less than stellar education ourselves? For me, it means living a life of learning; reading constantly, immersing myself in the field of education, learning about my students and the materials that I’ll be expecting them to know. And finally, being in a position to resource my students, either personally, or by directing them to resources that go beyond what I can offer.

What did I learn from Marva Collins? That education is a life changing pursuit and that in order to be the kind of educator that will act as an agent of change in the lives of my students I must continually be growing, learning and pushing myself academically and intellectually.

Pragmatically, this translates into my participating in a 52 books in a year challenge, setting semester and year long goals for myself as well as my kids, staying on top of educational trends and literature, reading widely in the field of education(some of my personal favorites are Marva Collins, Susan Wise Bauer, Rafe Esquith, John Taylor Gatto, John Holt, Andrew Pudewa, and George Grant) and actively learning along with my kids. We make frequent use of hiring teachers, which is more reasonable than ever with the plethora of DVD’s and CD’s available these days. Some of our favorite teaching DVD’s and CD’s come from the Teaching Company, Classical Conversations, and Memoria Press. These are widely available on used curriculum forums as well as new from the companies. MP3 downloads are also widely available from State and Regional conventions, curriculum companies and awesome on-line homeschooling ministries such as Heart of the Matter on-line. In fact, the time has never been better to learn and grow as a home educator.

Ultimately what I learned from Marva Collins was to take myself seriously enough as a professional (home) educator to gather the training, experience, and resources I need to do the best job possible.

How do you do this?

Lisa Nehring has been homeschooling her 5 kids (2 of whom have graduated) for the past 20 years. She holds Master’s degrees in Human Development and in Marriage and Family Therapy. Lisa has been involved in creating co-ops, class days, and camp experiences for homeschoolers, and was instrumental in bringing TeenPact to South Dakota. She writes regularly for the Homeschool Village as well as other magazines, websites and newsletters. Lisa and her husband of 25 years, David, a Christian Psychologist and Biblical Counselor, speak on marriage and parenting, education and homeschooling. Lisa blogs regularly about “crafting the extraordinary from the ordinary” at Golden Grasses.

it’s because of the little ones sleeping with me at night, comforting each other ,while daddy was away… sleeping in, cuddling close…

If there’s toys scattered about…

it’s because children are playing, exploring, and just being kids…enjoying their toys.

If my furniture is dusty…

it’s because I just didn’t have time to dust…I was too busy building a fort, playing in the yard, and coloring with my 2 year old.

If my floors are sticky…

it’s because we enjoyed lots of treats together…had company in and out…letting my home be a place of comfort and hospitality.

If my stove is messy and there are still crumbs on the counter…

it’s because my kids were busy cooking up their own recipes in the kitchen, and we have an abundance of ingredients… how grateful I am, not to be looking at an empty pantry.

If my house is messy…

yes, it’s because we LIVE in our home…LOVE in our home….and those are the things that matter most.

Sometimes we just need to change our perspective and not focus on the mess…

but how the mess was made. So next time you feel overwhelmed with the mess…think about these things.

As homeschooling moms, our homes are always FULL and full of good things!   Never ever lose sight of the “good” behind the mess.

Karen DeBeus is married to the love of her life, Steve, and a homeschooling mom of 4 children ages 10-2. She was called to homeschool when her oldest was kindergarten age after thinking, “I could never do THAT!” Now she is passionate about encouraging others on their homeschool journey. She is also working on simplifying all areas of her life,including homeschool, and putting God first in all she does. Read more about her journey to simplify at www.simplylivingforhim.com.

‘…thoughts–just mere thoughts–are as powerful as electric batteries–as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison.   To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body.   If you let it stay there after it has got in you may never get over it as long as you live.’     Frances Hodgson Bunett, The Secret Garden

Every now and then we must back up from the product and pay attention to process, asking ourselves the question “why,” as in “Why do we use this curriculum?”   “Why are we reading this book?”   “Why do we need to learn this?”   Actually, some would argue that the latter question comes more from our children ( or does it?)

The oldest and I recently found ourselves at the point of asking “why.”  From the oldest’s perspective, ancient history is all about war, and medieval history is all about knights and monsters (Grendel, Frankenstein, Jekyll and Hyde, etc.)   Yes, oversimplification is sometimes a problem in our home as well, but I’ll get to it later.

The whole “why do we have to read about monsters” discussion originated when we opened, or rather, downloaded, “Beowulf.”    I honestly believe that our oldest passed by me while I was trying to watch the movie—unsuccessfully, I might add.   I had one of those “never judge a book by the movie” moments.   In a matter of a few minutes, the oldest passed by, decided that the movie was too gruesome for her, and blew off anything associated with the word Beowulf.   Great discernment, but also a tad judgmental, perhaps?

Anyway, rather than feel unappreciated after pouring, blood, sweat, and tears into her syllabus, I answered her question with a question: why do you think we read these books?   Her response was a regurgitated academic “feel good” statement that she’d heard from me, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.   I want her to know that she’s getting an education that, in traditional school systems, would only be afforded by the well-heeled or those that are considered gifted or talented.   I pray that she does understand that there is a body of knowledge that comes from being well read, from the norms of our culture, to our sense of good and evil, from  social class and structure, to language that gives us common understanding.    As I’ve said to the older kids before, when you encounter phrases in the media like “Et tu, Brute?” or “ ‘tis a far, far better thing that I do…” or “a man apart,” “but if not,…” or even the more chronologically recent “hoodwinked and bamboozled,” they have historical significance.   And though life doesn’t require you to be a walking reference book, it makes sense to understand language in its context.    That beginning normally leads into my own thoughts about relationships with words and ideas, but I’ll spare you (smile).   After she shared her thoughts, we were able to look at all of our work from a different perspective.

The problem with oversimplifying is that it allows us to dismiss ideas.   We can diminish medieval history down to stories about knights and monsters.   If we back up a bit past the story that modern-day media would present, we can read “Beowulf” for what it is—a story about what happens to a crude, warrior society that encounters the gospel of Jesus Christ.   The tale has far more meaning when presented from that angle.

When I was younger, we had a saying that indicated that someone had said something you could relate to: I heard that.    You had to swirl that “heard” around your tongue a bit and then hit the “that” hard, but it was a clear signal that you heard something that resonated with you.    Now the kids say I feel you.  Though I’m the first to sometimes question a classic, I do understand that a book—a good book—should make you feel something.      Through Odysseus, we each begin to think about our own trials on the way to discovering who we are.      Through Hrothgar we learn to represent Christ even when it means that we are indeed a peculiar people.   Through Dante, as through Isaiah, we see our own uncleanliness and we cry out for a risen Saviour.   And like this quote from The Secret Garden, a good book should leave us with something uplifting to think about, something that aligns itself with Philippians 4:8.

After stepping back to have this whole “why” discussion with the oldest, I was re-energized about what we’re reading, with an even clearer understanding of why we’re reading it.   Yeah, I feel that.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based historycurriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.

Congratulations! You’ve taken the big step—homeschooling! You bought your curriculum and no doubt have a closet full of school supplies. Your dreams are big for your family’s educational lifestyle, but for many, those pesky fears of self-doubt and second-guessing may be raising their ugly head. Have no fear you’re not alone. All of us homeschooling moms started exactly where you are now.

Can I do this?

What was I thinking?

Why won’t this child sit?

Maybe my mother-in-law was right?!

We were all once starting out with nothing more than a whisper from God in our heart and a box of curriculum in the mail, left only with our quiet fears of…now what.

Here are a few tidbits I’ve picked up along the way:

Take it day by day. It’s easy to find yourself caught up in worrying about the next level in math or how you’re ever going to teach your child ____________ (fill in the blank).  All you can do is what needs done today.  You can’t live tomorrow.  You can’t live yesterday.  Make this day the very best.

*You are not a public school classroom and your “school” doesn’t have to look like one. Set up a learning area for the kids to spread out their materials. However, never underestimate the simple kitchen table, couches or a blanket spread outside. Our family has a schoolroom only because we have so many books now we needed a space for bookshelves.

*Snuggle, A LOT! Enjoy those babes and snuggle together on the couch while reading great books. Enjoy these years and don’t pressure yourself. Remember, one of the many gifts of homeschooling is the gift of time.

*Have your “school time,” but also keep learning fun and light. Keep lessons short and sweet to make school fun! There are plenty of years of “formal” education.  Little fingers can only hold a pencil for so long and then it’s time to run, jump and play!

*Don’t compare your homeschool with others. God created your family uniquely. Your children are His special creation. No one knows what they need more than He does. Remember, you only want His very best.

*If you have an infant, or will be having a baby during your school year, I suggest investing in a good baby carrier. I use Moby Wrap and Ergo Carrier. I wear the baby throughout the day. This helps a lot during school time in my world.

*Be creative for quiet time. If you need quiet 1:1 time with a child, work that around the nap times of younger children or when your hubby is home. It doesn’t have to all be completed during “school hours.” For a season, I had one child that I helped with math at 8 p.m. every night.  This is when the child worked best and had the quiet time he needed.

*Allow for a learning curve. It’s going to take time to learn this lifestyle called homeschooling. I tell new homeschoolers all the time that their homeschool will look like what daily life in their family looks like. What style, method, mode and structure, you will utilize will come in time. It took me a good three years to feel like we were actually homeschooling. Come to find out, we had been all along!

*Limit outside commitments. During different seasons, I have found our family with many outside commitments. We have found ourselves just running from thing to thing, in the name of “enrichment,” “extracurricular,” or “interest.” I feel that our family actually being at home together is a gift. Now we carefully weigh whether the activity is in our family’s best interest.  We don’t want to live on the run.

*Go with God. If an aspect of your school isn’t working, stop and pray. If a child is having trouble, stop and pray. If you feel discouraged, stop and pray.  Know from the get-go that you CAN’T homeschool successfully without God’s direction.

May your homeschool, children and learning overflow with God’s richest blessings!

Jamerrill Stewart is the daughter of the King, and wife to Travis of 13 years. They have five beautiful children so far, ages 6 months, 2, 5, 8, & 11. By dawn of the morning, she works out the joys, struggles, blessings and challenges while authoring Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling. When she’s not lost in a wonderful book with her children, taking them on a travel adventure or catching frogs by their pond, she likes to garden, write and collect stained glass windows.

I went to a conference this weekend and heard a homeschooling mother talk about her family’s ongoing health issues and her children’s special needs.  She talked about a time when she continued their schooling while she, herself, was bedridden.  And then she said something amazing.  She said, “Homeschooling is the blessing in the midst of the trials.”

I expected her to say, “Homeschooling was the first thing we cut,” or “Homeschooling was just one more thing and we were justified in setting it aside.”  However, her perspective was much more enlightened than mine might have been if I was living her story.  She said it was a blessing for her to learn patience and humility in those times when homeschooling was hard.  Teaching her children at home during trials was not a strain, a hardship, or a burden — but a blessing.

How so?  Perhaps those times could have been worse had she not been homeschooling?   For a few minutes I considered what all the alternative hardships would have been had her sick child been in school.  I similarly mused about her child with special needs, the countless IEP meetings, testing, and labels.  Yes, what a convenient blessing to have the children at home.

But it’s more than a blessing of convenience.  The trials are what change us and grow us more into the image of God.  The blessing is in becoming more like him, in seeing his hand in our life and our children seeing it too.  She said it herself — it was a blessing to learn patience and humility – that the blessing came in becoming more like him.

I thought back to our own times of personal trial.  When we were homeless, my husband, two sons and I sharing a roof with my parents again, my days had purpose because I was teaching my firstborn.  But the purpose was only part of the blessing.  The blessing came in the dependency that was created, in the groping that we had to do just to breathe.  Certainly, it was convenient to have consistent schooling as we moved from home to home.  But the blessing was deeper, because we were together during our trials and because we reassured one another that God was there too. My son remembers how we were waiting on God and how God finally did light our path.   And now we all know his presence with an astoundingly immovable faith.  A blessed faith.

There have been occasions when I have felt that homeschooling was “in the way.” But they were not really times of trial, just times of busyness.  That attitude was more about my need to re-prioritize than it was about my bottom-line decision to homeschool.  Homeschooling isn’t the cause of my trials.  It’s the blessing (sometimes disguised) in the midst of them.  We seek God’s pleasure as a family.  We are blessed because we do.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 11 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education, is married to her pastor-husband of 16 years, and resides in their newish home in Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated her boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

This past year I have been on a de-cluttering spree. I’ve been de-cluttering our home, our home school, and our “stuff.” I have been trying to simplify things as much as possible, and it has been a blessing! As time went on though, I realized that there was still a great amount of clutter in my life. Mental clutter. My mind was always full of so much information and processing it all was becoming difficult, as well as very distracting.

Don’t get me wrong, as a home school mom I have found that the online community for home schoolers has been a huge blessing. Being home all day {everyday} with a house full of kiddos can be hard. No adult interaction! So peeking at Facebook throughout the day, “talking” to other moms in real time as the day went on was great. I felt like I was still an adult!

But then besides connecting with other moms, I started reading so many articles about different subjects, and my mind was continually trying to take it all in. Then I found myself comparing my home school to others, second guessing myself, or worse yet, was my home school life being portrayed as too “perfect?” Face it, we all tend to “clean up” a bit when we are posting our statuses and our blog entries. I was constantly checking my heart before I posted. Was I being authentic? Was I just looking for affirmation? Seriously, does it matter how many people “like” my page or my posts? Or my pictures? I try to portray with the utmost authenticity our ups and our downs. And I love encouraging others, but it all just seemed like too much sometimes.

Yet Facebook has also been a great witnessing tool for those who aren’t Christians or for those who don’t know much about home schooling. It has opened the door for some great conversations. However, recently I was just feeling the negatives outweighing the positives. I felt so distracted everyday with so much information about so many people and so many things going on in my head all at once! Information overload, to say the least! So I quit. Cold turkey. I vowed to not check Facebook, post on there, or get caught up in internet articles.

Let me tell you-the first day I got SO much done! I did so many things around the house I never thought I had time to do. I also promised myself if I felt the need to connect with another adult- I would connect with the Lord. I went to my Bible every time I felt the need to connect with someone. It was wonderful. I could feel God smiling and saying, “I’ve been here all along.” And I was truly present and focused on the kids. I didn’t have so much information swimming through my mind. I could think so much more clearly. I didn’t realize how distracted I was before. I know the kids could see the difference too. I was completely focused on them, their schoolwork, and the moment.

Will I be off Facebook forever? I doubt it. But I am still enjoying my time away from it, and I will be very cautious about getting too caught up in it if the time comes for me to go back on. It’s like anything- it can be a blessing and a curse. It’s knowing where to draw the line that is so important.

Karen DeBeus is married to the love of her life, Steve, and a homeschooling mom of 4 children ages 10-2. She was called to homeschool when her oldest was kindergarten age after thinking, “I could never do THAT!” Now she is passionate about encouraging others on their homeschool journey. She is also working on simplifying all areas of her life,including homeschool, and putting God first in all she does. Read more about her journey to simplify at www.simplylivingforhim.com.

photo credit: flickr