Press the Pause Button
March 18, 2010 by Melissa
My days were starting to feel like a fast moving treadmill I couldn’t get off. From homeschool to housework to helping my husband, I felt scattered and pulled in every direction. The clutter was growing, the laundry was multiplying, our homeschool was dragging and my stress was mounting. I started each day feeling behind before even beginning. No matter how much I got done, there was always more waiting. I desperately wanted a ‘PAUSE’ button for life–a chance to put everything on hold and catch my breath.
As a homeschooler, I am free to set my own schedule and take breaks as needed. I have this freedom for the taking. I don’t need a note from my doctor or a letter of permission from anyone to do it. That’s the beauty of homeschooling; I can press the PAUSE button, so to speak. Many of us know this and yet rarely take advantage of the freedoms we have. We’re driven to ‘keep on keepin’ on.’ I know I can make the decision that we need a break, but what good is this if I never DO it?
I needed that break this past week. I was mentally and physically drained. I was weary of the work. I caught a glimpse of myself and really worried that if I didn’t stop, I was in for trouble. These are some of the symptoms of overload, and if they are ignored, more trouble awaits. So after our fun field trip on Wednesday, we took Thursday and Friday off from school. I pressed PAUSE.
It was an instant lift for my spirit (and my kids, for sure) to take a break from book learning. I told the kids we would not be doing school as usual, but they would be working. We set the timer for 30 minutes and each got to work cleaning the main rooms of the house. We alternated rooms and worked together folding the many loads of much-needed clean laundry. I had time to remember the phone calls and paperwork that had been too long forgotten. Each task accomplished lifted my weight of my burdens.
The change of pace was a soothing balm for my weary soul. I let go of everything to do with homeschool for those few days. I didn’t do any planning or preparation for the next week. I just focused on my home and my family. I let myself slow down to recover the mom who had been missing in action; too busy for fun. I let the kids make and decorate cookies on Friday. We were playing catch up. Yes, we had caught up on housework and caught up on laundry, but what our break really allowed me to do was catch up with my family. I was able to tune into the relationships and not just the routine of work that had become my daily focus.
I know not all mom’s struggle with giving themselves permission to take a break, but I suspect many of us do. We can be our own worst critics and judge ourselves too harshly. We can keep a pretty crazy pace for a time, maybe even a season, but we are moms, not machines. As moms, we have to give ourselves the grace to know when we have reached our limits and take time to PAUSE. Take a break to catch up without feeling guilty for it. Maybe it’s playing catch up with the messes or it might be the relationships that need our attention.
I feel refreshed after my homeschool holiday. I’m ready to start the week with renewed focus and a cleaner house. My sanity doesn’t feel so slippery anymore. It’s amazing what a little break can do. It’s like a vacation with no suitcases to unpack at the end. And everyone has something clean to wear if they decide to get out of their pajamas.
Melissa Morgner is a happy wife of 16 years to her college sweetheart and mother to six loud, but lovable children ranging in age from 12 down to two. After eight years of homeschooling and sampling way too much curriculum, she takes an eclectic approach in their little schoolroom, choosing resources that best suit the children and the teacher. Her busy household puts her gifts of juggling and winging it to the test each day. She steals moments here and there to write on her blog, Day In Day Out, about the lessons she’s learning from the Lord in the routine but privileged tasks of mothering and homeschooling.
Wishing for Tomorrow
March 16, 2010 by Christine
I admit it. I wish away certain moments and stages in my children’s lives. I guess I don’t know anyone who doesn’t occasionally do this, but I know many older women who tell me not to.
From their perspective, it’s clear that the moments and stages will pass quickly; from mine it often feels like an eternity till bedtime. The future seems bright and full of promise; today often feels like drudgery. I battle this feeling on some days more than others as I change diapers, sit someone in time out again, correct the same spelling word over and over, and say, “No, you can’t watch TV” for the 15th time.
The more I read in search of the perfect formula for saintly motherhood, the more I realize that the books on my nightstand are written to portray an ideal, and not a daily reality.
Failure today is inevitable; thankfully, forgiveness is failure’s close companion.
The future [is] not where real life [begins].
Each day [is] God’s perfect will for me.
In fact, it’s not just because we’ll regret time passing when we’re old and the children are gone. It’s not just that these moments will become sweet memories to savor as we rock on our porch decades from now. It’s instead that each moment, each today, is a block with which God is building us into the mothers, the teachers, the individuals, He plans for us to be. There have been times in the past few months and years when I didn’t, couldn’t, see the plan. I have questioned whether there even was a plan and, if I were to stumble upon it, why I should follow it at all.
Whatever the Lord requires, He also enables.
God’s perfect will for me is today. And isn’t it true that tomorrow never arrives but instead becomes today? I don’t want to pine for the elusive greener grass on the other side of midnight only to find that waking in the morning provides merely another opportunity to pine again.
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matt. 6:34 (MSG)
God is doing a good work in me (and you!) today. He is building, refining, preparing, requiring, enabling. My prayer is that today, we’ll let Him.
Quotes taken from Sally Clarkson’s The Mission of Motherhood.
Christine is a Christian, homeschooling mom to three boys and a girl, ranging in age from 9 to 2 years old. She is a musician by trade, eclectic in homeschool style, and continues to grow and learn along with her children in this journey of life and discipleship at home. Visit her blog at Fruit in Season.
How the Very Organized Homeschool Mom Does It All
March 11, 2010 by Bethany
I bound out of bed, full of energy at 6:00 a.m. I read the next chapter in My Utmost for His Highest and the Psalms, then breeze through level 3 of Jillian’s 30-Day Shred workout DVD. I don my chic, size 6, J. Crew outfit. As I saunter into my sparkling kitchen to make omelets and fruit cups for breakfast, my well-mannered teenagers, perfectly groomed, joyfully help to set the table.
Schoolwork is quietly buzzing along by 8:00 a.m., so I decide to start the first load of laundry. After hanging the clothes out to dry, I sweep off the deck and water my spring starter plants. While the girls contentedly self-teach geometry and fractions, I work on an editing job. At mid-morning, we pause for carrot sticks with hummus and a poetry recitation. After our morning recess comes more learning for the teenagers and more work for me.
For lunch, my budding chefs whip up a delicious, healthful recipe from their home economics course. Following a general clean up of the kitchen, we’re ready for our art history lesson accompanied by our classical listening selections. Every afternoon includes a different extra-curricular activity for each well-rounded girl, so my sleek Nissan is always on the go.
A home-cooked meal followed by family devotions sets up our relaxed evenings of enjoying each other’s company as we play Scrabble, Borderline, or Monopoly until bedtime.
Buzz, buzz, buzz!! What’s that? Oh, time to get up. That’s the third time I’ve hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Too bad, I was having such a lovely dream . . . Maybe next time I’ll be a little more practical about real time organization tips.
Bethany has been married for 16 years, homeschooling for 9 years, and organizing forever. She homeschools her two girls, grade 6 and grade 10, in North Carolina. She is also a partner in Codex Publishing, publisher of The Tutor and classic book reprints. When she isn’t homeschooling or driving the family taxi, Bethany enjoys reading, music, church activities, editing, writing, history, and keeping up with friends.
St. Patrick’s Day: GREEN means GO!
March 8, 2010 by Ann
All throughout the month of March, St. Patrick’s Day decorations can remind you and your family to pray for Christian missions and to highlight the need for sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ.
St. Patrick’s Day GREEN can remind us that we’re all called to GO and preach the Gospel!
Enjoying Missions Throughout the Year: MARCH
For many people, St. Patrick’s Day is nothing more than a holiday to commemorate the traditions of Ireland. People wear “Irish” green; stores decorate with shamrocks, leprechauns, and rainbows; and restaurants feature meals of corned beef, cabbage and potatoes, or green-colored mint milkshakes.
To others, March 17th is a day to gratify the flesh: to guzzle beer or to glorify sinful lifestyles through disgraceful city-wide parades and demonstrations. How far (and low) we have come from the real story of St. Patrick and his early missionary sacrifices to bring the Good News of Jesus Christ to the people of Ireland. Today, more than ever, our world desperately needs the Lord, and the message of the God’s salvation that St. Patrick preached.
Do your kids know that St. Patrick was a missionary?
All throughout the month of March, we should remember the real missionary story of St. Patrick. Whenever we see GREEN decorations (in stores, restaurants, etc.), we can use these as sporadic “reminders” to teach our children that we’re all called to GO and to share God’s GOOD NEWS.
Quick Facts:
- St. Patrick’s Day – MARCH 17th
- Patrick was the first Christian missionary to Ireland.
- In the United States, celebrations include city parades, Irish cultural celebrations, and the wearing of green.
Who was Saint Patrick?
“Saint” Patrick (389 – 461 AD) actually went to Ireland twice – first as a slave, and later as a missionary. Born in Britain, Patrick is widely known as the first Christian missionary to the Irish people. During his youth (from 16 to 22 years old), he was captured and taken to Ireland. While there, young Patrick repented of his sinful, backslidden condition. Years later, after escaping to his homeland, he received a vision from God calling him to return to the Irish people to proclaim the Gospel of Christ. Patrick obeyed God’s call and went back.
For the remainder of his life, Patrick ministered among the unreached tribes of Ireland– confronting Irish idolatry and sorcery, converting many to Jesus Christ, and baptizing thousands of people. Tradition says he used the three-leaf Irish clover to teach the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
According to historian William Federer, who wrote St. Patrick: The Real History of His Life, From Tragedy to Triumph, “He was actually a missionary and he converted 120,000 druids from paganism to Christianity.” Federer claims that in the fifth century A.D., Patrick did more than perhaps anyone in history to spread Christianity in Europe. Although druids attempted to kill him over a dozen times, Patrick continued to preach the message of Jesus Christ, and throughout his ministry he pioneered over 300 Christian churches. Patrick also spoke out against slavery and because of this, some call him the world’s first abolitionist.
Mission-Minded Family Resources:
To learn more about St. Patrick, I recommend Hero Tales – Volume III by Dave & Neta Jackson (Bethany House Publishers). Along with the short biography summary, St. Patrick: Missionary to Ireland, the Jacksons include three devotional stories (each with a focus “From God’s Word” and “Let’s Talk About It” discussion questions) to read aloud:
“Your Ship is Ready” — Trust
The Fire on the Hill — Boldness
Blood on the White Robes — Righteous Anger
Focus on the Family has a surprisingly accurate Adventures in Odyssey that features St. Patrick’s Day. Also, VeggieTales has a funny “flannel graph” version of the St. Patrick story, which is surprisingly historically accurate, on the VeggieTales DVD, Sumo of the Opera.
Family Prayer Focus:
Pray for God’s peace throughout Ireland and Europe, especially between Protestants and Catholics. Pray for the true message of God’s salvation to spread throughout this area, and for today’s missionaries who are sharing the Gospel. Remember people in the United States who are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day and for people who need Jesus to hear about the real story of St. Patrick, and the Gospel message he preached. Pray also for your family to have an obedient heart to go wherever God would call you to go.
This article is adapted from “Enjoying Missions Throughout the Year” from Ann’s new book, The Mission-Minded Family – Releasing Your Family to God’s Destiny. Ann is an international minister alongside her husband, Jon Dunagan (with Harvest Ministry) and a homeschooling mother of seven kids (ages 9 to 23). During the month of March, Ann and her 12-year-old homeschooled daughter, Caela, are on mission trip to help orphans in UGANDA, EAST AFRICA. You can follow Caela’s LIVE mission updates on Ann’s twitter updates, watching for posts marked #CaelaOnMission.
Ann Dunagan is a longtime homeschool mother of 7 (with 3 graduates). Since 1987, she and her husband Jon have ministered worldwide with Harvest Ministry. Ann is co-founder of two African orphanages, writer for “Better Parents, Better Families” on the Christian Post and “The Missional Mind” with Biblica, and author of several books including The Mission-Minded Family.
{Simple} St. Patrick’s Day Cookies
March 8, 2010 by Ruthanne
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks.
May your heart be as light as a song.
May each day bring you bright happy hours,
That stay with you all year long.
St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner. Are you going to do anything special to commemorate the day? I’ve found lots of fun crafts and book recommendations floating around the blogosphere, as well as some adorable baked goodies.
These cookies don’t really fall into the adorable category, but they certainly fall into the simple one.
I started out with our family’s favorite cookie recipe, one I’m sure most everyone is familiar with ~ the Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe.
After I combined the butter, sugars, eggs and vanilla, I added several drops of green food coloring. Add as many drops as it takes to get the color you’re wanting.
Just be sure you don’t overdo it. If you add too much, your dough will change consistency.
Then, I added in the flour, baking soda and salt.
Instead of adding all semi-sweet chocolate morsels, I decided to use half white chocolate ~ to give it the cookies a little more oomph.
Serve them warm with a tall glass of cold milk. Your children will thank you!
Ruthanne has been homeschooling for just over a decade. She’s passionate about many things ~ the Lord, her principal and students (mother to four boys and a girl), photography, baking and really good coffee. You can find her blogging at www.eclecticwhatnot.com where she shares a few random thoughts and loads of pictures.
Forest Fires
March 5, 2010 by Aubrey Lively
Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to see the big picture when you’re living in the middle of it?
One problem crops up, and it gets your full attention, like a little spark in the forest. Then another and another, and pretty soon, all you see is smoke.
The last month and a half has been like that for me: a fog of sickness and small disasters here in my home. We spent the last half of January with sick kids, but not the gravely ill kind, not even the pathetic-pull-at-your-heartstrings kind. They were just sick enough to be picky, grumpy, and difficult. Then Landon and I got picky, grumpy, and difficult. We could barely drag ourselves out of bed for a week.
I remember measuring time by the smoke detector, which began going off randomly for an entire week. Wearing bathrobes and old pajamas, we hit at it with a broom handle, changed the batteries twice, and yelled at it eloquently. Nothing worked, and along with the sneezing, coughing, and shivering, we soon found ourselves twitching. Did I mention tempers were short?
One morning while we were sick and the smoke alarm was making its unimpressive complaints, two-year-old Abby announced that she had to go potty and without warning, she sat down on a load of clean clothes. It was 6AM, and when our oldest came running to tell us, Landon told him to go ahead and put the clothes in the washer and start it, hoping that I would never find out.
A half hour later when I woke Landon up with, “What’s that noise?” it was too late. There had been a load of laundry in the washing machine already, but John was too short to see it.
I spent the next three days hand-washing and line-drying the two over-full loads of clothes that the machine could have done in a couple of hours. Landon spent his evenings looking at diagrams of washing machines, trying to figure out how to repair ours. We had just replaced it in January, and since Landon had lost his job in December, it was hardly the time to be changing out washing machines faster than we clean out our fridge.
When my in-laws invited the kids to go to Houston with them the following weekend, we had to wash clothes at their house in order for the kids to have, um, clean underwear.
Clean was short-lived, though. With the kids’ return home (and vacation laundry), came news that the Abby had spent the last night of the trip throwing up. By Wednesday, baby was throwing up, too. By Thursday, Abby had learned to fake-throw up—eating a bite of food and then spitting it in the toilet, so she could get some more of that “juice-medicine.”
Friday, Landon’s car broke down. It had recently been in a small accident, so the hood wouldn’t open, and it overheated, so it had to be towed. Saturday, our oldest spent the day in bed, and by Saturday night, Landon and I were both throwing up. Our six-year-old joined our ranks on Sunday.
If I tell you the van broke down, too, you’d just laugh. There comes a point when it’s funny, and all you can do is throw up your hands at this thing that is life, and laugh. I’ve laughed quite a bit myself. And I’ve cried and complained.
To say I’ve felt like a failure lately is an understatement. I’m standing here, surrounded by cranky babies and whining kids and piles of laundry and dishes and germs like I’m living in the middle of an apocalypse. I’m the person standing in the middle of the forest, and who can see nothing but the smoke.
Understandable, perhaps, if there had been an actual forest fire, an actual disaster. Understandable, even to the helicopter in the sky, who could see the potential damage, in whose eyes that fire fighter is a hero.
On the ground, though, you’re left with ashes and stinky clothes and a sore throat. You see the destruction instead of the work of a hero. And all you’ve done is fend off a few pesky sparks.
Without a clear picture of being in the trenches, it’s easy to get a skewed picture of things, and that’s exactly what I did. Sometime last week, Landon came home to a puddle of a wife, who was claiming that it was all impossible. I explained to him how the kids’ attitudes were too bad, the babies too fussy, the house too messy, and I too disorganized to accomplish what was before me. See the smoke? I can’t be the Keeper of the Forest—I nearly let it all burn down!
A simple email from a friend made all the difference, though. “How are you?” she asked, because we haven’t been in church in a month. Taking the time to write out the events of the last six weeks helped me to see the forest.
My normally sweet-natured kids have had bad attitudes? No wonder, they’ve been sick. My high-maintenance toddlers have been fussy? Well, sure. My house is a wreck? Not any more than usual, and that’s a miracle, really. Homeschooling has barely happened? What a victory that it’s happened at all!
Thanks to a friend checking in, I’m motivated to start fresh. As soon as I kick this cold that’s just setting in.
Aubrey Lively is a homeschooling mother of four, ages 8, 6, 2, & 1. She has a BA in Literature and an MEd in Teaching and is currently surviving seminary with her husband of ten years. Visit Aubrey online at http://aubreylively.blogspot.com.
Thankfulness Project
After a very rough year I vented on my blog and I received a few comments telling me I had it good.
Truly, I knew I had it good, I just wanted a few minutes to let it out and instead I was bombarded with well-meaning comments letting me know exactly how off base I was.
Yikes! And a good morning to you too!
I was extremely upset by the comments and edited the post 1,2,3…4 times before I gave up on it. I tried to answer the comments and explain that it was a momentary lapse in judgment, a quick little blip on the “thankful” screen and even that I was just human, I was just talking, letting it out, like a teapot who has to whistle or boil over.
No answer I gave was “the right one” and as is typical for me I continued to try to explain, tumbling over my words, digging myself deeper and deeper.
Finally I deleted the whole thing and wrote something like this:
I know that every cloud has a silver lining. I usually have no problem seeing the silver linings, but today my eyes got tired of looking up and instead I looked down. It was my fault. I looked away.
I decided the only way to fix the problem was to take the blame. Blame myself in a “how dare I’ moment. But then I reread what I wrote. I read the final sentence. “I looked away” and that spoke to me. No matter how tiring it is looking up it is something we must do:
Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. -I Chronicles 16:11
So I began to think about it and although the words hurt I knew I had to be more thankful. This confused me. I WAS thankful. But I realized I wasn’t vocal about it and I needed to be:
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. -Ephesians 5:19-20
In response to this I did the best thing I could. I began “The Thankfulness Project” to date this is a small group of bloggers who post what they are thankful for daily in the sidebars of their blog. As you play along you become more and more thankful and notice the small things. I have yet to be thankful for the rough year, but I am certainly thankful that the Lord helped me through it. I hope you’ll join me in my year of thankfulness.
Sheri (with the help of her fabulous husband Mike) began homeschooling her four children in 2001. She spends her time creating whatever she can out of nothing to make her house more homey, creating lesson plans, and listening to her son’s garage band and writing how God is carrying her out of the depths of depression. You can catch up with Sheri at her blog, be sure to check out the on-going Love Story she and her husband are writing while you are there!
Teaching Children to Cook (Part I)
March 3, 2010 by Montserrat
Every child loves to help cook and bake. The magic of mixing ingredients together to produce yummy cookies and getting to spend time with mom or dad in the process of it all creates some fun experiences. It can also become overwhelming when there are too many helpers that create a bigger mess taking more time to cook something than if mom just did it herself. I know. I’ve been there. Actually I’m still there.
When my two oldest were about 5 and 6 I realized the need to create a “battle plan” of sorts to teach them to cook without causing extra stress on my part. I also wrote down my long term goals of skills I wanted my children to learn: cooking and baking, creating healthy menus, writing grocery lists, and sticking to a food budget.
Now that my two oldest are totally independent in the kitchen doing the whole shebang, I’ve realized the fruits of my labors have been very sweet. It was a long process but so worth the end result. This article is the first in a series of how this very important life skill can be taught to children of all ages.
Cooking and Baking
Kids of any age can help in the kitchen. As long as you keep in mind their fine motor development, not giving them tasks that are too hard for them to accomplish, and provide plenty of supervision as well as patience mixed with a dose of humor.
Cooking should be a fun, enjoyable activity for all involved. Remembering the following will greatly help to keep cooking fun: it will take longer to cook things, messes will be made, mistakes will be made, but it can be a rewarding experience.
The chores at our house are rotated on a weekly basis. This means each child gets kitchen duty for a whole week cooking and cleaning, providing plenty of opportunity to cook and bake a variety of dishes during their turn. Here’s what you can expect children to be capable of doing in the kitchen.
18 months – 2 years old My little ones begin by helping me to pour and stir. Not only do they enjoy dumping stuff (think of their play in the sandbox here) they also enjoy mixing things together. Sometimes I even let them use their hands. That may sound uncouth to some of you, but little kids really learn by touching and feeling. No harm is done if a good hand washing precedes the baking.
3-5 years old This age group gets to help do the measuring, learns to crack an egg (in a separate bowl of course so you can extract shells before they get into the batter), wraps potatoes in foil, and chops soft food with a butter knife (olives, bananas, etc).
6-8 years old I start teaching them how to read a recipe and follow it. They also get to start cooking on the stove top with plenty of supervision, help grease pans, fill muffin and cupcake tins, crack eggs by themselves, start using the mixer with supervision, and get to use real knives for chopping fruits and vegetables, grate cheese, etc.
9-11 years old My children are given more independence in the kitchen. They are taught to use the oven properly. They can usually cook on the stovetop without much help – flipping pancakes, cooking meat, etc. They read the recipes and follow them with very little help from me.
12 and up After having all these years of preparation by this age my children are able to do everything without my help, including plan the meals for the week and create a grocery list that sticks to our food budget. These areas will be covered in later posts. At this age they also like to experiment with recipes trying different spices or even creating new recipes. Sometimes it makes for very interesting meals!
Any questions or other things you want to know about cooking with your kids? Ask away! We’ll try to keep these inquiries in mind when writing subsequent posts on teaching your children to cook.
Montserrat is completely devoted to her wonderful husband, Joseph, and their seven (soon to be eight) children. They live on a 2,500 acre alfalfa farm nestled in a small Northern Nevada valley. They’ve been homeschooling for 10+ years. Montserrat enjoys, photography, cooking, crafting, chocolate, and sloppy goodnight kisses. She strives to live each day as God would have her do following Mary’s biblical supplication, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38) You can find her at her blog Chocolate On My Cranium.
Boys to Men
March 3, 2010 by Lori
The ultrasound showed that number 3 was a boy!
We were excited and honestly, I was a bit nervous. I’d never had any brothers and with 2 girls under my belt, I wasn’t sure “how” to do a boy.
Hayden has been a breeze for the most part, but this January he turned TEN. He had a few buddies over for his birthday sleepover and WOW were they loud.
I’ve seen it coming for some time now. He’s not my baby anymore. Sure, he’ll snuggle up and cuddle, but he’s changing, and in today’s world, he is moving much too quickly into the “next phase” for this momma.
He is growing up in a tough world. Even being a “sheltered” (*wink, wink) homeschooler we clearly see the signs that society bombards him with. We’ve been focusing a lot of effort on the girls in regards to modesty and peer pressure, and now it’s time to focus in on Hayden.
I’ve spent the past few years reading about boys and the teen years. A quote in Vicki Courtney’s Your Boy really made an impression on me.
“It is my conviction that many a mother will occupy a higher position in God’s kingdom than many a prominent Christian leaders whom we might expect to find in places of great honor. Think of some of the great men of the Bible like Moses, Samuel and Timothy.
Where would they have been had it not been for their praying, Spirit led mothers?
Think of Augustine, John Newton and the Wesleys; their names may never have lighted the pages of history had it not been for the blessed influence of godly mothers! The simple prayers from our infant lips were but echoes from our mother’s heart. Can we ever forget the soft caresses of those hands of blessing on our heads as we knelt by our beds?
Can we fail to remember her night vigils, her seasons of intercession, her well-marked Bible and her words of admonition?Her actions spoke eloquently of Him who taught us of the greater love of God. What a tragedy to neglect the counsel of a godly mother! What eternal consequences to reject her God.
“Do not forsake the law of your mother.” (prov. 1:8)
Henry G. Bosch
The fact is that I’m raising someone’s husband. I’m raising my grandchildren’s daddy.
That is a very, very big deal.
How do I raise a boy who seeks his worth in Christ?
How do I raise a boy who does not objectify women?
How do I raise a boy who respects all forms of life?
How do I raise a boy who does not conform to this “world,” yet seeks out God’s will for his life?
How do I raise a man of world changing faith?
These are questions that I’m asking daily. I’m asking them of those who have gone before me and those standing right on the front lines with me. The conclusion is always the same. There is a battle raging for our sons’ hearts, and the fact of the matter is that they will be men in a very short time. While our son’s don’t live in a country where persecution is a reality, they are on the front lines. Their battle, while not persecution, is the “popular culture.” The culture that exists just outside the front door, and often does its best to infiltrate the walls of our home. Whether you homeschool or not, lets face it, it’s not easy out there.
We are doing all we know to do. We talk, we read, we discuss and we are led by the Lord, but that doesn’t mean the war is won. It’s a continuous fight. We remind Hayden regularly these words;
“Wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it,
and right is right even if nobody is doing it.”
Raising Godly boys, who become Godly men is no easy task in this day and age, and I’m certain it never has been– boys have always been boys, and teenage boys have always been teenage boys. Hormones are hormones. However, our faith demands that we commit to this raising of Godly men. It will require much prayer and sacrifice and communication on our parts, but the future of our “boys” depends on it.
We know that the ultimate guide to raising our sons is the Bible, but there are a few other resources that I’ve stumbled upon that are helping my husband and I walk this rather treacherous path.
Two excellent resources that we are finding extremely relevant on this journey are Vicki Courtney’s Your Boy: Raising a Godly Son in an Ungodly World (for me) and Steven Auterburn’s Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle ( That’s dad’s. And yes, I stick it in the bathroom!).I have read it too. It’s honest and real and doesn’t pull any punches.
“…encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.”
Titus 2:6-8
Be encouraged today! The statistics are daunting and the culture distressing, but have faith. We can raise Godly boys who grow into Godly men! We were made to be mothers for “such a time as this!” Oh, it’s going to take PRAYER, communication and commitment and I assure you it’s going to be LOUD, but I know in the end it WILL be wonderful to see the man emerge! Let’s roll up our sleeves and get at it, we’re in this together!
Lori is a 6th year homeschool mom to 3. Currently she homeschools a 9th grader, a 7th grader and a 5th grader. Lori hopes to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. It’s in the daily details of life that she is continually inspired! Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give and at Internet Cafe Devotions and Exemplify.
Sad Days, Promise Days and Blessed Days
March 2, 2010 by Lee
Sometimes I have a “sad day.”
Those are days when I am faced with Romans 3:23:
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
It is on those days I recognize the small or large problems with my now-grown children. Did I really forget to teach them that sleep is important? Have I failed them completely because they throw out Tupperware instead of washing it? “Sad days” are a good time to reflect a bit, fast, and pray. “Sad days” are usually followed by a promise from the Lord.
A “promise day” is when I hold to the promise in Proverbs 22:6:
Train up a child in the way he should go, and WHEN HE IS OLD he will not turn from it.
Sadly, there is no mention of regular sleep OR Tupperware in the verse. Perhaps that means it’s optional or even not required at all. Maybe what it means is that our children get to grow up and make their own decisions. They get to choose when to sleep, and what to throw out. In fact, there are a HUGE number of things they will choose to do or not do, regardless of how well we train them in the way we should go. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that their decisions won’t always be my decisions.
My friends with older children tell me there is yet another kind of day I will face, a “blessed day.”
A “blessed day” is mentioned in Proverbs 31:28:
Her children arise and call her blessed.
I confess. There are gaps in my children’s education.
I may have skipped the unit study on sleep. I think I only demonstrated the washing of Tupperware, without actually mentioning circumstances when it is appropriate to throw it away. We have to get used to gaps like that. My husband once had an enthusiastic young engineer who was really trying to do a good job. When Matt asked him one morning how he was doing, he replied. “I’m diligent, sir. Diligent and dedicated!”
I can relate to this. I always wanted to homeschool in a diligent and dedicated way. But the truth is nobody can really be diligent enough because children will grow up to make their own choices. As parents, we can’t possibly think of everything and every situation that our children may get themselves into.
It’s a sad day. Tomorrow will be a promise day. One day I’ll get to that blessed day. That will be fun!
Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, “Helping parents homeschool through high school.” She has a new free minicourse called “The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Homeschooling High School”. You can sign up for her free email homeschool newsletter, The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from her homeschool blog, The HomeScholar Helper.
