I feel as if I have been pushed into the deep end of the pool now that our family has been tossed into the world of homeschooling three. I was use to schooling ten and eight year old girls. Even with their special needs I had things worked out and running smoothly.

Then in a very short amount of time a little three year old boy came into our life. He just got thrown into the mix. As you can imagine things did not stay quite as organized. I started to stress.

Yet when God asks you to follow His word He means it! When He asks you to do something, He will also equip you to do it. None of it is about our glory but all for Him. As we obey His word we are transformed by Him. He works in our hearts through the person of the Holy Spirit that lives within us if we are truly His. He will never leave us the same. The goal is Christlikeness.

God uses our children as a big tool to teach us this. When He calls us to homeschooling this requires dying to self even more. But there is reward in obedience. God sees the challenge and knows it is hard. Yet He gives us all we need to accomplish it.

Our family has been filled with just two children for the past 8 years. Just these past few weeks we have acquired a three year old. I am looking at this situation and wondering how in the world am I going to homeschool them all now. This new addition has thrown us in a frenzy. It is messy because my neat organized world is looking quite different. How will I handle this?

After I went into freak out mode, I remembered that God provides. He equips. What I need to do is believe it. He will work all things out. It may need to look different now but God is still in control. Life comes with many interruptions. We all face them. I wonder what is going on in your life now? Can I just encourage you to relax? To trust God’s plan? All things will work themselves out in their proper time. And in that proper time we will all be a little more like Him.

“LORD, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD— now and always.” ~Psalm 131 NLT

Angela Parsley, of the international ministry Refresh My Soul Ministries, is a wife and homeschooling mother to her 2 young daughters. Angela is also a contributing author to a devotional book entitled, “Standing on the Promises of God” and Radical Revolution, a devotional site for teen girls through Proverbs 31 Ministries.

December is my favorite month of the year because it includes my two favorite holidays: Jesus’ birthday and my birthday. I love the presents (giving as well as receiving), the wrapping, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the anticipation, the caroling, the baking, the planning, the partying—all of it. At least, December was my favorite month until I was diagnosed with two chronic illnesses that have left me overwhelmed and gasping for air with a regular schedule before even adding holiday duties. I hate that my favorite season has become a series of duties.

So, what’s a mom to do? Cancel Christmas? Not likely! Go full bore and pay a heavy health price in January? Not a good idea. How ’bout a balance that falls somewhere in the middle? The following measures can help us experience a more peaceful nativity.

Ten Steps to a dread-proof December, even with a chronic illness:

• Think about what really matters. What’s at the top of your list that you just can’t give up during the holidays?

• Make a list of the top five items on your what-really-matters list and brainstorm ways to make those happen this year.

• Let go of the rest. Yes, I know that’s the hardest part!

• Delegate everything possible. The cookies will be just as good if your 13-year-old makes them.

• Simplify the decorations, the baking, the gifts, and most of all your expectations.

• Be happy with what gets done and try not to focus on what’s left undone.

• Pace yourself. Don’t try to complete your entire list in one afternoon just because you start off feeling great.

• Take naps.

• Rest often.

• Remember the real reason for the season: Jesus. Nothing else really matters.

Now, all I have to do is follow my own advice, and I can return to enjoying my favorite season instead of dreading December!

Bethany LeBedz is a veteran homeschooler, professional editor, writer, and speaker. You can check out her business website at www.bethanylebedz.com. Bethany contributes regularly to Heart of the Matter Online, has a regular column in the Home School Enrichment magazine, and occasionally writes for other magazines, websites, and newsletters. She lives in North Carolina with her family and she enjoys music, reading, scrapbooking, sewing, genealogy, and keeping up with friends in her spare time. Be sure to follow her blog, Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom, at www.bethanylebedz.blogspot.com.

3 If you live by my decrees and obediently keep my commandments,… 9 I’ll give you my full attention: I’ll make sure you prosper, make sure you grow in numbers, and keep my covenant with you in good working order. 10 You’ll still be eating from last year’s harvest when you have to clean out the barns to make room for the new crops.11 I’ll set up my residence in your neighborhood; I won’t avoid or shun you; 12 I’ll stroll through your streets. I’ll be your God; you’ll be my people.
Leviticus 26: 3, 9-12 The Message translation

If this were just another New Year’s message, filled with on visions and resolutions, it might fall short of inspiring you. Undoubtedly, you have begun to think about what you want to see in 2012—for you, for your family, for your business and/or job, etc. Hopefully you have taken the time to write some plans down, even if they are not documented in a fashion that means anything to anyone besides you. But I believe there is at least one person like me, who has had visions and made declarations in 2011, only to see a very different reality thus far into the academic year. You might be a brand-new, fresh-out-of-the-box homeschoolers who has just completed your first semester, and you are now trying to recall the circumstances under which you made such a crazy decision. Maybe the events of your school year thus far happened very differently than you would have planned it. Maybe you are questioning your decision, whether that decision was to begin homeschooling, or to homeschool this year.

If you could summarize in one word what you want to see in your homeschool in this coming year, what would that word be? Might I offer a suggestion?

Fruitful: 1. yielding or producing fruit; conducive to an abundant yield    2. abundantly productive  (www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fruitful)

Feeling fruitful might be hard to fathom at this point in the homeschool year. Viewing nature, we see the majestic nature of God. His intricate artistry during each season is a wonder to behold. Even in the most unpredictable climate like coastal Texas, God still sends signs of change. The hours of daylight grow shorter. Leaves change colors, displaying magnificent shades of red, orange, and yellow. As the leaves die and fall, there is room for the new growth of spring. As the clock spins through the final months of our calendar year, we unconsciously associate fall, and even more so winter, with endings, with slowing down, with preparation and anticipation of what is to come.

God specializes in moving outside of what the season would dictate. Think about it. It was after the woman with the issue of blood had spent all her money and tapped into every resource she had that the Lord healed her. It was after the widow of Zarapheth had prepared her last meal that the prophet Elijah showed up with the secret to her continuous provision. It was well after Sarah had passed child-bearing age that the Lord blessed her with Isaac. It was after Lazarus had been dead three days that the Lord restored his life.

I challenge you to pull out those plans, even if they are just muddled thoughts swirling around the old “noodle,” and get excited again. Delay does not mean denial, and assuming that your overall plans did not center around certain calendar, you can still recapture the energy and the excitement with which you began. Even if you did commit certain plans to certain days, a lesson on thankfulness in November, as example, will be just as meaningful just before Resurrection Day. Acknowledging the contributions of our Armed Service members, is appropriate on any day, not just on Veterans’ Day. Finally, if you missed the opportunity to discuss the contributions of Latino-Americans during Hispanic Heritage Month, incorporate biographies into your studies in a different, yet still effective, way.

What is the big deal about being fruitful, anyway, realizing that your own personal “word” might be one that is totally different? Because of what the word implies, my friends: abundant productivity. No matter how you characterize your school and your vision for this year, you want to be productive. You want results for yourself, for your children, and for your witness to all of those around you. We are not called to mediocrity, nor should we take what we do lightly; too much is at stake. We are charged, with God’s help, to illuminate the darkness, which can include those ill-lighted areas of our children’s development. Furthermore, our children are not called to an average existence, but instead to ahead and not behind, above and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13). We need active leaders and accountable, responsible citizens. We need world changers. Operating in constant burnout and a whatever-will-be, will be attitude will not accomplish these results. Finally, when you are victorious, someone else will need to be reassured that they, too, can do this.

However you phrase it, and whatever it means for you personally, I challenge you to seek the Lord regarding abundant productivity this year. Realize as you define it for yourself that it does not mean running at 200% every day or accomplishing Herculean feats on a regular basis. It means committing each day to align your plans with the Lord’s plans for you, giving your focus and energy to the work of the day, and asking God to close the gap between His plans and your execution. Even if you fall short, the results could be tremendous.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based historycurriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.

My beloved friend Marsha Drews is expecting a little boy on February 22nd and we are throwing a cyber party to welcome Ian Kenneth into the Drews family.

There will be GAMES, PRIZES and lots of GIGGLES! Invite everyone you know! Even if you don’t currently know Marsha, I know you’ll fall in love with her once you get to know this super sweet and silly mom…and we know everyone loves babies – so please join in the fun on January 9th.

Marsha and her family are currently living on the island of Guam. Shipping to Guam is the same as shipping within the states, however it does take a bit longer for packages to arrive. Please email me at amy@milkandcookiesblog.com for Marsha’s address if you have a gift to
send her.

My co-host for the party is the lovely Darcy.  Games and giveaways will be open all day to give everyone a chance to participate and Marsha will be available off and on all day to check in to answer questions and get to know everyone. Be sure to visit the Facebook party page and sign up to received a reminder and updates.

Want a sneak peek at just some of the goodies you can win… 

• Five attendees will win a package of beauty care products from Mac Cosmetics worth $100 each! 
• One winner will receive a jar of TARTE D’AMANDE Soufflé Riche Pour Le Corps: ALMOND PIE Rich Soufflé Lotion for the Body 
• One winner will receive a $30 gift card to Chocolate.com

Happy 2012! It’s the beginning of a new year. It’s a great time to refocus on properly caring for yourself so you can be the best wife, mom, and homeschool teacher you can be!

Refocus your mornings

Those cold winter mornings making you want to hide in your warm bed? Depression and winter blahs making you want to oversleep? Determine what your ideal wake-up time is and take baby steps towards it. Try waking up 15 minutes earlier each day or week until you reach your goal. Then once you are up use your mornings wisely. Bible study. Exercise. Preparing for your day ahead. And when those little ones get up early and blow the plan out of the water, rejoice in the time you have for cuddles and snuggles without beating yourself up or focusing on what isn’t being accomplished.

Refocus your health

Have you set the typical lose weight resolution this year? Let’s focus instead on being healthy. Cut back on refined sugars and grains. Watch your portion sizes. Get active with your kids. Find an activity that you like doing so you won’t get burnt out on the idea of exercising and change it up as needed. Been putting off that yearly physical for way too long? Make that appointment today!

Refocus your heart

Been neglecting your own spiritual life lately? Putting more out than you’ve been taking in? Find a good Bible study or book to go through. As a mom of young boys and family of one car, I find that I’m not able to get out as often as I’d like. But, that doesn’t mean that I have to hide in my house alone. I’ve chosen to spend the next three months going through Ephesians with some online friends. Find some women you can connect with and support each other – in real life and/or online.

Refocus your family

Has your family been running too fast? Does something need to be cut out to make more time together? Maybe you need to cut an outside class or sport. Maybe you need to set a goal number of nights a week to eat dinner together. Try starting a family game or movie night. My family loves movies. They love our weekly pizza and movie night, even if it does have to be gluten-free and cheese-less pizza.

I’m praying that God gives you clarity as you refocus and jump into 2012!

Amanda is a former church communications director turned homeschooling mom. She’s now using her BA in Bible and MA in Old Testament Studies to nurture and disciple her two boys with the help and support of her high school sweetheart and husband, Josh. She’s venturing into the world of Kindergarten with her oldest son this year using Sonlight as her base curriculum. She blogs about life, motherhood, homeschooling, technology, faith, books, and more at ThePelsers.com. You can follow her on Twitter at @apelser.

Dear Homeschool Mama,

It’s been a long year.

2011 is almost over. You’ve spent much of it at home. You’ve taught math lessons (over and over and over …) and learned more about grammar than you ever wanted to know. You’ve worked on character training as you’ve helped little ones make beds and older ones clear tables. You’ve washed a veritable mountain of laundry and cooked boatloads of macaroni and cheese.

This year, you’ve wiped approximately 3,287 noses. You’ve changed 1,679 diapers. You’ve made at least 52 pots of coffee and washed the coffeepot at least 52 times. You’ve had eyes rolled at you 9,362 times, stressed over the SAT and the ACT once each, and said bedtime prayers more times than you can count (an hour or two earlier than usual on really bad days).

Your heart has been broken when your children weren’t nice to one another or when older ones chose paths you didn’t approve of. You’ve cried over spilled milk and shattered dreams. You’ve received non-glowing progress reports and unfavorable doctor’s prognoses. You’ve questioned yourself daily as you struggle down this path of educating your children at home.

You’ve also enjoyed some sunny days. You’ve held hands walking paths in the park and watched the sun glow golden through trees. You’ve watched understanding dawn on your little ones’ faces as they read their first words. You’ve lit birthday candles, wondered at giraffes and elephants at the zoo, and gathered freshly washed little ones into fluffy towels with a giggle. You’ve prayed together and laughed together and lived life together.

Not many people saw.

But I did.

And I want to thank you. For loving well, for laying your life down, for working hard at this task you’ve heard Me call you to.

No one else can do what you do. The world is counting on you.

And so am I.

Love,
Your Father

“Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:11-12

“But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” 2 Chronicles 15:7

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Misty Krasawski is the overly-blessed mom of eight children whom she homeschools in sunshine-y Florida. She has been clinging ferociously to the hand of her Lord since she was knee-high to a grasshopper, homeschooling for the past thirteen years, and has eighteen more years ahead of her with the children who are glad she will have done most of her experimenting on those who went before. Her wonderful husband Rob has much treasure laid up for him in heaven for having been called to such a daunting task. After the house goes to sleep she can sometimes be found gathering her thoughts at www.encouragingheartsathome.com.

You know what we all need, right? We all need more of Jesus. I know I have found myself in seasons where I get kicked off my special time with the Lord. That is, after all, the enemy’s plan, to keep us from spending quite time with the Lord. There’s a question that I’ve been asked, that I myself have asked…How do I spend time with the Lord? What do I do during my time with him?

Show up

I know, very simple. Just be militant about it. Show up and He will too.

Pray

Start by praying:

Here I am Lord. Speak to me through Your sweet Word. I need more of you. Meet me here.

Just read

Don’t worry about what or how your going to read your Bible. Just read it. Start somewhere, open it, dive in. The enemy will try to tangle your thoughts and make it complicated. The truth is though, you need to just open that sweet book and read. I’ve had times where I set my oven timer for 15 minutes. My flesh would tell me that’s not enough. My day would scream at me that I don’t have time. But He honors my 15 minutes.

When you need a do-over.

If I get off track with my Bible reading and I’m not sure “where” to jump back in, this is how I get started again.

One Psalm and One Proverbs per day – If you read one psalm per day you will read the entire book of Psalms in one year. By reading one Proverb per day you will read the entire book of Proverbs 12 times per year.

The Book of John – John is a book of love. If you read one chapter in John per day, you will have read the entire book in 21 days.

Then, I keep going through the New Testament. Sometimes just one chapter, plus my Psalm & Proverb, but usually after a few days I start reading more again. I may read on for more chapters.

Our quiet time with the Lord doesn’t have to be hard, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be. So do something drastic. Set your oven timer for 15 minutes and crack open that dusty book. I pray you’ll be richly blessed.

Jamerrill Stewart is the daughter of the King, and wife to Travis of 13 years. They have five beautiful children so far, ages 6 months, 2, 5, 8, & 11. By dawn of the morning, she works out the joys, struggles, blessings and challenges while authoring Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling. When she’s not lost in a wonderful book with her children, taking them on a travel adventure or catching frogs by their pond, she likes to garden, write and collect stained glass windows.

As if homeschool moms don’t feel enough guilt already about not being perfectly patient, perfectly knowledgeable, and perfectly organized, those who are chronically ill also add in a hefty dose of guilt for not always feeling well enough to participate fully in family and homeschooling life.

Younger children don’t understand why mom is on the couch—again. They don’t understand why mom can’t play tag—again. They don’t know why mom can’t pick them up—again. They just know that they’re sad because you’re sad. Younger children can still help mom feel better, though. Little chubby arms encircling mom’s neck and sloppy kisses are the best therapy. Chronically ill moms can let their kids know that the best way they can help is to dispense that kind of medicine. Mom would probably feel better with a blankie and a stuffed animal to snuggle with, too. From a very young age, children need to feel needed; we have a chance here for a win-win situation.

Older children and teens also have a difficult time understanding why they need to make dinner, watch the littler ones, and skip the youth group party when mom’s not feeling well. Oh, they may understand the words pain, limitations, and lack of energy, but they don’t get how it applies to their lives. The solution is to train them to be godly servants as Paul advocates in Philippians 2:2–4 (MSG), “Do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” If I figure out an easy way to get this concept through a thick-skulled teenager’s brain, you’ll be the first to know. But, we’re all on the faith journey together, so maybe we need to offer up a bit of grace with our training.

Children can be trained to do just about any household chore, including cooking simple meals. Of course, as they get older, they are capable of taking on more responsibilities. The trick is to utilize the times when you’re feeling good to teach these types of skills. Rather than feeling guilty for making your children help, think of it as home economics training for their futures.

Instead of sounding like I’m preaching to the husbands, I’ll just encourage the wives to let their husbands know what they need. I will also encourage the husbands to be sensitive to their wives’ needs. There, that wasn’t too preachy, was it?

Moms, I bet you thought you were off the hook, didn’t you? Nope. How can you best take care of yourself? By letting go of the guilt. I know, I know, that’s easier said than done. Use the following Scriptures on grace to combat the guilt. “At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, ‘My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’ Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift” (2 Cor. 12:8–9, MSG). “But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift” (Eph. 4:7, NKJV). “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble’” (James 4:6, NKJV). “Grow in grace and understanding of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 3:18, MSG).

Many blessings of grace to you and yours as you struggle through homeschooling with a chronic illness.

Bethany LeBedz is a veteran homeschooler, professional editor, writer, and speaker. You can check out her business website at www.bethanylebedz.com. Bethany contributes regularly to Heart of the Matter Online, has a regular column in the Home School Enrichment magazine, and occasionally writes for other magazines, websites, and newsletters. She lives in North Carolina with her family and she enjoys music, reading, scrapbooking, sewing, genealogy, and keeping up with friends in her spare time. Be sure to follow her blog, Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom, at www.bethanylebedz.blogspot.com.

photo courtesy Darcy at My 3 Boybarians

Sometimes you need some help and encouragement. Other times you wish you had someone to challenge you or help refine your vision. If you’re willing to make a change, see a new angle, step outside your box, or just get started then you’re probably in a good spot to seek the aid of a mentor. A mentor can accompany you on your journey, model solutions that work, share resources, and offer a listening ear. And you’re in luck because in the world of homeschooling, mentors are not hard to find.

Paper mentors. Otherwise known as authors, these homeschoolers have obviously been in the trenches long enough to find the wisdom and balance to write a book. If you feel alone as a homeschooler, paper mentors can inspire and nudge you. I have personally benefited from Diana Waring and Carol Barnier’s books. You may resonate with Ruth Beechick, Lisa Whelchel, or other authors. The bonus for homeschoolers is that our paper mentors are available at all hours of the day and are usually personally accessible; I’ve met mine at conferences time and again.

Your homeschooling group. These groups are really undercover mentor groups. I’ve moved between four different states and I have never been in a group where participants weren’t willing to share ideas, solutions, and curriculum. However, you must take initiative if you want to get your needs met. Ask questions, start conversations, observe their children, and be open to differences. There is something to learn from everyone. And if you hone in on one friend you really click with, stick with her. She’s a treasure.

The mom that inspired you. When my oldest child was two, I connected with a fantastic homeschooling family. I asked this mother so many questions and she helped break down my stereotypes. I began and she cheered. I questioned and she answered. I vented and she listened. I persevered and then she turned around and asked me, “How do you handle xyz?” It’s been a relationship of give and take over the course of years and miles. Though I now have wings of my own I know I can always seek and receive her guidance.

You. If you’ve been home educating for a while, you can help someone else get started. If you’ve found a groove, encourage someone who’s hit a slump. If you’ve seen a breakthrough in your child, share it with others. If you no longer worry about testing, cps or what other people think, then know that others need to glean from your confidence and advocacy. If anyone has ever helped you, then be a mentor for someone new. It’s how this whole thing really works.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 11 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education, is married to her pastor-husband of 16 years, and resides in their newish home in Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated her boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

I have the opportunity to let someone else teach my children on Fridays. They gather with other home-educated children and take classes in art, computers, karate, and language arts. When I drop them off I do so with the peace of knowing that they will be themselves for a few hours and I will spend some time being me. And we will come back together enriched by our experiences.

The challenge at first was to find what “being me” looks like. For me, it looks like being a student for an hour at the gym, learning from the expertise of others, and finding ways to continually improve. It looks like an hour in a quiet house, after a warm shower, muscles relaxing, tea steaming, answering emails, and looking up books on Amazon or the seminary library. Sometimes I listen to a TED talk or a podcast that encourages my faith and ministry. On some Fridays I lead a small group of women through a time of Bible study and together we think theologically and grow. Other Fridays I eat lunch with my husband and we talk about who we are and how we fit into God’s work.

It’s an amazing opportunity to just be me for a day. I don’t do the grocery shopping, the laundry or the bill paying. I don’t plan lessons or visit the children’s section in the library. I do breathe and think, read and pray, teach and be taught. I do give thanks for each moment. And I do pick up my children with joy and expectation.

One day this homeschooling journey will be over — one day all too soon, I suspect. And I’ll be home alone with me: the me that has been forged through the fire of parenting and marriage, ministry and relationships. When there are no more sentences to parse or patterns to sequence and they all understand osmosis and permutations, I will be left with the me that God has been crafting all this time. I want to recognize who that is from the first day the final son calls a dorm room home. I want to show my thanks to God by moving into the next season with grace and skill.

Taking a day to be me is not selfish after giving four to the children, two to the family, and weaving ministry all throughout. In a world that continually asks us to give of ourselves for this good cause and that righteous endeavor, it’s a sabbath, a discipline, a necessity. When the babes are gone we are still His for the mission of life. Be well prepared to be yourself.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 11 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education, is married to her pastor-husband of 16 years, and resides in their newish home in Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated her boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.