Jenny Penton is a homeschooling mother of seven children and loves the closeness that being home with them provides. Un-schooling is how they live and learn and she blogs about their learning experiences at plannerperfect.com Jenny also has a passion for inspiring women to become master life planners and that includes menu planning. Check out her sites for life planning and her inspiring recipes on her food blog at plannerperfect.com and plannerperfectmeals.com

Brother A steps over the fallen fork of Brother B. Sister A points out the failings of Sister B. We don’t even want to talk about the wranglings of Brother A and Sister A over whose turn it is to sit in the front seat. I know I have asked myself before, how do I move past the petty struggles on daily display in many homeschool families, including my own? I think we find the answer in the wisdom of Dr. Ruth Beechick.

One time, Dr. Beechick and I were talking about the bickerings that can become big issues for moms. I asked her how she handled that problem with her boys. She paused for a minute, then she said she didn’t remember there being much of that. Intrigued, I starting asking more questions about the way her children responded to chores, helping their younger siblings, etc. What she said astonished me. After thinking about it, it also made perfect sense.

Dr. Beechick shared about the atmosphere of “mutual care” that she established when her children were young. If there was something to be done, everyone helped. There really was no distinction in whose job was whose. No one was sitting around waiting for someone else to do his job. If it was undone, the person there did it. What a mind-boggling revelation! No chore charts, no stickers, no atta-boys, just the idea that any task was everyone’s task. She said they worked together, finished a task quickly and then everyone relaxed together. Conversely, no one relaxed if the job wasn’t finished. When a job arose, the discussion would turn to how to best get it done, then everyone would begin.

After this talk with Dr. Beechick, I realized that we needed some fundamental changes in the way we approached what it meant to be a family. Under the Old Covenant established through Moses, the law was given to do a couple of things. It was there to show people their inability to lead a holy life by their own efforts and it was also there to show us the difference between doing something out of a sense of obligation and acting out of love. The New Covenant established by Jesus, shows us the way of grace, acting out of love and gratitude rather than out of legalistic obligations. I was beginning to see that my system was rule-oriented, based on living up to the “laws” of our family and greeting failure with disapproval and even condemnation. Unfortunately, the result of that kind of thinking is a “just do what is required of me” response. My mother-heart desired to see true love and service from one to another, but we had started with the wrong base.

As I talked with Ruth about this more, I realized the ball was really in my court. She had modeled this process for her children over and over. She didn’t set the tone of “I’ve done my job, now you do yours!” As I began to change my approach, drawing everyone in to help with all tasks, but more importantly, participating in each task myself, an interesting thing started to happen. Hearts began to soften. Words became kinder. The love I wanted my children to show each other began to be “caught.” I no longer expected my children to change, I started looking to the Lord to change me. The transformation was powerful.

I wanted to extend the blessings I was seeing with my husband Greg, so we came up with the Daddy Drill. Most weekdays, about thirty minutes before my husband would return home from work, we would run around, picking up the clutter and stuff we had gotten out in the living room, kitchen, and dining room that day. We did it together, like a race, with no one stopping until all was finished. The result was dad walking in to a neater house, with smiling children, and a grateful mom. The children would give him a few minutes to change clothes and sit down with a glass of tea and then they would share a few minutes about our school day with him. After that they were off to play, Dad got a few minutes of quiet and I would start thinking about dinner. Everyone felt more at peace.

Jesus came to show us a better way. The answers we need for the smallest questions lie in His example. Shared through Godly wisdom, like what Dr. Beechick shared with me, His peace can be experienced in greater measure in our homes. Without the striving that accompanies rule-keeping, our lights can shine a little brighter for His kingdom. And most importantly, the blessings start with your own dear family. Truly, charity begins at home.

Debbie Strayer - has been a part of the homeschooling movement since 1988 when she and husband Greg began their journey as homeschoolers. Prior to that time, Debbie received her Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees in education. Since joining this wonderful movement that combines the importance of spiritual and educational development, she has many years of experience as an educator, author, speaker, consultant and homeschool evaluator.

Her accomplishments include: • Former editor and co-founder of Homeschooling Today™ Magazine • Author, Gaining Confidence to Teach • Editor, The Homeschool Answer Book by Dr. Ruth Beechick.  A co-author of the Learning Language Arts through Literature series • Co-author, Trail Guide to Learning, a new series published by Geography Matters Debbie is grateful for the friendship and mentoring of Dr. Ruth Beechick, as well as the opportunities she has had to collaborate on The Homeschool Minute, published by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine.

Debbie feels that her most important accomplishments are that she has been the wife of Greg Strayer for over 33 years, the mother of homeschool graduates Nate and Ashley and a homeschooling parent for 16 years. She speaks and writes about homeschooling topics with humor, honesty and encouragement.

During this Mother’s Day Weekend, grab a cup of coffee or tea and take some time to catch up on these amazing articles from this week at Heart of the Matter!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Housekeeping Tips for Disordered Moms

Are We There Yet?

Embracing Spring

Blessing Your Children

Striving to Rest

The Homeschool Experiment by Charity Hawkins – Review and Giveaway

Teachable Moments in Spanish

Homeschooling While Facing Chronic Illness

Why is it so hard for me to trust God with the little things?

The past few weeks have been killer. I has felt that the schedule and the responsibilities we are carrying are totally out of control. The margin that I try so hard to create and preserve within our family seems to have virtually disappeared. If I survive this week, I will take some time and look back at what ate up all that margin so that I can avoid it happening again in the future. In the meantime, I’m hunkering down and trying to move through it displaying grace under pressure. Some days more successfully than others.

Somehow, multiple deadlines, end of the year activities and more, have all seemed to jump on eachother’s back and stand directly in my path. As I look around my normally somewhat clean and organized home, I see floors that need swept or vacuumed, dishes that need washed, a giant pile of laundry waiting for me, bathrooms that desperately need attention and schoolwork that we must refocus on as soon as possible, a mountain of paperwork on my desk and an email inbox that I am dreading. During times like this, I begin beating myself up mentally and emotionally.

Sure, I could tell you that I find it easy to move through times like this because I know it is only temporary. And, perhaps it is a bit easier now than when I was younger. However, I still find myself frustrated that I can’t do more and can’t do it faster. I’m frustrated that I’m behind and that I can’t be wonder woman and mother of the year 365/24/7.

Sigh! Deep breath! Look around! What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Hmmmmm! In most cases, all of these things that are not completed will wait for me until I can get to them. My poor husband and son, who have been finding sustenance in tacos, hamburgers and chicken sandwiches, will not starve to death. In fact, they seem to not even be bothered by the situation as long as mom is happy. The laundry will wait a few more days. No one is going to die because of some dust and dirty dishes. We will survive. The worst that can happen is that I will be a bit behind….but I will catch up.

In the meantime, if I can keep my attitude in check and my focus right, I can illustrate grace under pressure to my own child and to the children I am working with during this very busy week. Honestly, the worst thing that can happen is for me to not be a shining example. Guess what? Even if I mess up in that area, if I acknowledge it and apologize, God can use that as well.

Sometimes I let the little things be the things that cause me to worry, to be anxious, and to get frustrated. I think I have trouble “laying them down” because I think they are things that I can and should control. The things that I have no hope of controlling, the BIG things, are much easier to leave at the foot of the cross. However, those pesky little things, those are the ones I pick back up and carry around all by myself.

HE notices when a sparrow falls from the sky. HE knows the number of the hairs on my head. Surely, I can trust Him with the little things in my life. Surely, I can rest in the fact that there is NOTHING too small that is beyond His notice, His control and His care.

______________________

Lori and John Lane have been married 28 years and live on a ranch in the beautiful Colorado Rockies where John coaches the local high school baseball team, runs the ranch, and works with Artios Academies. They have four sons ranging in age from twenty-six down to fourteen, two beautiful daughter-in-loves, and a precious granddaughter. Lori is the author of the book, Beginning With The End In Mind, and the executive director of Artios Academies. You can follow Lori at www.theendinmind.net where she blogs about a variety of topics including life on the ranch, arts education, a Biblical worldview of education, home education and more. Her blog also offers many free resources to encourage you on your journey.

Easter has come and gone but the words I heard at our annual community sunrise service continue to ring in my ears.

“Unless I see, I will not believe.”  These are words spoken by the man that most of us refer to us as “doubting Thomas.”

While the pastor conducting the sunrise service was reflecting on the fact that Thomas would not believe that Jesus had risen from the dead without seeing for himself that it was true, the words of Thomas hit me in a different paradigm.

How many around me are crying, “Unless I see, I will not believe.”

I am part of the church.  The church is to be a reflection of Christ….a picture of God and His character to those around us.  Yet, there are those around me still crying, “unless I see, I will not believe.”

What are they seeing when they see me?

What do my children see?  What does my family see?  What do my friends see?  What do those I casually interact with see?  What do I see?….and most importantly, What does God see?

Oh dear God!  I’m so sorry for those times when the reality of your life, your character, and your power is not seen in my life.  I’m so sorry for the times I allow stress, worries, distractions and well….life itself to cloud the picture that I should be of you.  Lord, continue to mold me and make me more like you so that I can be an accurate reflection of you to those closest to me and to the world around me.  Lord, I know you hold the hearts of men in your hands but help me to be a light in the darkness to those hearts.  Help me to reflect you so that I do not cause someone to stumble and say, “Unless I see, I will not believe.”

____________________________________

Lori and John Lane have been married 29 years and live on a ranch in the beautiful Colorado Rockies where John coaches the local high school baseball team, runs the ranch, and works with Artios Academies.  They have four sons ranging in age from twenty-six down to fourteen, two beautiful daughter-in-loves, and a precious granddaughter. Lori is the author of the book, Beginning With The End In Mind, and the executive director of Artios Academies. You can follow Lori at www.theendinmind.net where she blogs about a variety of topics including life on the ranch, arts education, a Biblical worldview of education, home education and more. Her blog also offers many free resources to encourage you on your journey.

If you are anything like me, which I’m sure you are, there are times when you just haven’t got a foggy clue what you are doing, and you are pretty sure that no one has ever felt as lost as you, and that no one could ever possibly get the disaster that is your brain. Can I get an “amen”? Anyone? Thank you.

I remember one such time. It was way back in the days of “the Townhouse” which is code for “the days when, yes, we were living in a townhouse; more than that, it was in the time of life when we had 4 kids aged 3 and under, and I was embroiled in my biggest life battle to date”.

Someone had directed me to a blog and forum for moms where I went to find someone who understood me. Someone who’d been there. I tried to submit two questions about my state of confusion and exhaustion on the forum. The first question they refused to post as it “encouraged a behaviour or attitude that the moderators didn’t endorse”. So the second question, I made sure to be broad and unoffensive and something that would stir some helpful conversation.

What I said was something like this: “I’m a very young mom. I stay at home with my kids all the time. I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way, but I’m really tired. And sometimes really sad. Sometimes “scary sad”. Can anyone relate?” What I received back was a bunch of platitudes and “right answers”.

“No, I love it! I’m so blessed to be at home and I never feel tired or grumpy at all!”
“No, the joy of the Lord is *my* strength. I sure never feel sad at home at all!”
“Who could ever feel lonely when Jesus is your present help and comfort?”

And you know what? I knew all that. I knew that was supposed to be my reality, but the reality was that I was still tired: physically, emotionally, spiritually tired. My spiritual life was not stagnant. I was not being disobedient, or ungrateful, or rebellious. I had a wonderful husband with a fabulous marriage, and a supportive church. My little children were good sleepers and obedient, all things considered. Life wasn’t bad. I wasn’t complaining. I was just a busy, tired woman. And no one understood. Or so I thought. They weren’t hearing me. They weren’t getting me. They couldn’t help me.

One day in my quiet time I sat down hoping to hear a word of encouragement in my daily reading. I felt a strange prompting to read 1 Chronicles 3:8. Really? Really. Who turns to 1 Chronicles for encouragement?

I kind of ignored it, but it wouldn’t go away, so I finally turned to that spot thinking I was probably imagining things. Sure enough, the verse says this: “Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet”. Nope. Not a word from the Lord. Just a list of names.

I tried to move on, back to my scheduled reading for the day, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was to read that passage again. So I did: I read the whole chapter looking for something in the context. Nothing. It is just a list of the descendants of David. I was hoping that those 3 names were not the ordained names for my next 3 children!

Still, I felt like I was supposed to “get” something out of that verse. Finally, I thought to look up in a Bible dictionary what those names meant.

Here’s what those names mean, and what the Lord wanted me to know that day: “The Lord hears, The Lord knows, and The Lord will deliver.”

He understood me. He heard my prayers. He knew my heart. And, as my present help in times of trouble, he would deliver me in his time and in his way.

How grateful I was that day for 3 funny sounding names. And how grateful I am still that we have a Lord who sympathizes with our weakness, and who understands our frailty, and who can speak to any specific circumstance in our day through the Word.

What does the Lord mean to speak to you today? What burden do you need Him to carry for you? He is more than able. And more than willing. And that is a very, very good thing.

Barbara Postma and her husband, as they homeschool their 7 children, are finding out that no two children are alike! Between lessons and lunches, Barbara blogs at Fuel by Barbara.

As Christians, our main goal in homeschooling should be to disciple our children in the ways of the Lord. As they grow, we should begin to expect our children to listen quietly during a church service and other meetings where the Word of the Lord is being preached. However, listening skills are something that must be practiced and honed.

Here are some ways you can help teach your children to listen:

1. Practice church – You can begin at home by setting up a family worship time that resembles a church worship service. Set chairs in a row, sing songs, and have someone stand at the front to read Scripture. If you have a less traditional worship service, adjust accordingly. This gets children used to a typical service and helps set the stage for attentiveness.

2. Practice listening skills at home – You cannot expect a child to listen in church by simply throwing them into a service and telling them to listen. They need to know what listening means. Here are some ways to practice listening at home that will also benefit your homeschooling day as well:

*Read a Scripture passage asking children to raise their hands when certain words are said.
*Give children paper dolls to act out a Scripture passage as it is read.
*For older children, have them write down any verbs or nouns they hear during Scripture reading.
*Teach older children how to take notes during a sermon by reading a longer passage of Scripture or listening to a radio sermon (find free sermons at SermonAudio.com) and stopping at each key section to point out how they should mark that verse in their notes.

3. Bring listening tools to church – Nearly everyone learns best when they are reinforcing what they are learning with a complimentary kinesthetic activity. Here are some ideas for encouraging quiet and engaged listening for a variety of ages:
*Church Listening Pages
*Sermon Notes for Kids
*Bible Paper Dolls
*Notebook and pen or pencil

We would love to hear how these ideas work for you and your family and what other things you have implemented to help your children listen in church!

Amy Roberts is the homeschooling mother of 6 living children and one precious little girl named Emily being held in the Lord’s arms. Her days are filled with giggly girls, rambunctious boys, and sticky baby kisses. At night she writes about it all at Raising Arrows, a blog dedicated to homeschooling, large family living, and hope for grieving hearts. It is her deepest desire that out of the overflow of her heart, her mouth should speak…and her fingers type.

I’m currently at the Teach Them Diligently Conference in Spartanburg, SC.  Part of me loves conferences and part of me wants to run and hide when I get there.  Why?  Conferences can be SO overwhelming!  There are a multitude of speakers having a variety of opinions and philosophies.  There are huge halls full of one exhibitor booth after another all containing a sweet representative wanting us to take home information on their particular product, method or system. And then, there are the people.  Tons of people who all seem to know more than we do and who all have their own way of doing things and are willing and eager to share their opinion with us.

Conventions are GREAT events.  Conventions are needed from both a parent’s perspective and from the exhibitor and speaker’s perspective.  I’m attending this event as an exhibitor and have a booth and both my son and I are doing workshops.  So, that should prove that I believe in the need for conventions.

However, today I saw two young moms stop by the booth next to me.  The look on their faces was memorable as they explained to the woman at that booth exactly how overwhelmed they were with the sheer size of the event and the number of choices.  The sweet lady working in the booth next to ours has completed raising five children and is what I would call one a homeschool “pioneers”.  She recounted how when she began homeschooling the only curriculum choice that they had was to go to used library or public school sales and buy used textbooks that way.  There were no conventions, no curriculum distributors, no support groups.  There was nothing.

She said something to those young mothers that was so wise and so discerning.  She encouraged them to look around and get their bearings but not to buy or get into lengthy conversations with anyone that evening.  Then, when they got back to their hotel, she encouraged them to pray, really pray that God would direct their steps when they returned to the conference the next day.  Pray that they would listen to HIS voice and know what workshops HE wanted them to attend, what booths HE would want them to spend some time visiting, and what purchases HE  would encourage them to make.  She exhorted them to be careful to listen to what God had for them and their families in their homeschooling journey and to make decisions based on that.

What wise words!

Today, I’m speaking on “Beginning With The End In Mind”.  It’s a workshop that emphasizes the need for us to know where we are headed and to base our home education plans on what Scripture says.  So often we are swayed by fear, peer pressure, tradition, or worldly philosophy and we forget that the first place we should go for counsel is Scripture.  What this dear woman said last night is SO true!  Conventions are wonderful.  Choices are wonderful.  However, if we don’t have a firm grasp on what God’s priorities are for the education of our children, we will soon become overwhelmed and confused.  Frankly, confusion is going to happen along the way.  But oh!  The journey becomes much more focused and simplified when we make it our habit to go to Scripture for direction.  He has promised that HE will make our paths straight……and our path during conference season is no exception.

Faith and Courage,

Lori

Lori and John Lane have been married 29 years and live on a ranch in the beautiful Colorado Rockies where John coaches the local high school baseball team, runs the ranch, and works with Artios Academies. (www.artiosacademies.com)They have four sons ranging in age from twenty-six down to fourteen, two beautiful daughter-in-loves, and a precious granddaughter. Lori is the author of the book, Beginning With The End In Mind, and the executive director of Artios Academies. You can follow Lori at www.theendinmind.net where she blogs about a variety of topics including life on the ranch, arts education, a Biblical worldview of education, home education and more. Her blog also offers many free resources to encourage you on your journey.

For years now, I have wished and wished for a way to lead my family to truly engage in the Easter season. My evangelical roots never mentioned Lent, only Easter. It was about resurrection, yes, but it was also about new clothes and deviled eggs and ham. And it was just one day. Later in my life, Good Friday practices began to creep in. Even so, Easter still seemed to be something we bumped into as we went around a corner.

This year my whole family is taking on the season of Lent in a very traditional way. As you read this, we are right in the middle of practicing a Lenten fast and praying a communal daily prayer. Perhaps many of you are as well. But before we headed in this more liturgical direction, we experienced Easter in many other ways:

1. Family Life Resurrection Eggs accompanied by the book, Benjamin’s Box by Melody Carlson.  We used these when our boys were young, typically on the eve of Easter or even Easter morning when they were early risers. The story is engaging and they loved the experience of opening up an egg each time the book prompted them.

2. Taking off Two Weeks at Easter. This long springtime break from our schoolwork rejuvenates us. We take one week prior to Easter in order to give Holy Week the space it needs and one week after Easter to plan for the rest of the school year and take a few field trips. My kids and I look forward to this break all year. They feel special getting an extra week off that other kids don’t usually get. When they complain that I have them work through other minor holidays I just say, “Two Week Spring Break” and they seem to get back in their groove.

3. Community Celebrations. We love getting a broader picture of what Christ is doing in the world around us by celebrating with others. For many years, attending a community Good Friday service alone without my children was one of the most centering, refreshing times of my year. Now that they are bigger we all attend together and enjoy the commonalities we find with other Christians in our area. We also take part in an Easter walk-through experience at a local church. It’s a casual, hands-on presentation that gives us time to ask our children questions, give them explanations, and take communion as a family. We cherish that experience together in the days just before Easter.

4. A Seder Passover Meal. One year I led the children, and several of their friends, through a version of the Seder that recognized the symbolism of Christ. It was more of a demonstration rather than a meal, so I didn’t cook a full lamb shank and the whole thing took about 45 minutes. Some good guides for Christian families can be purchased from Jews for Jesus or elsewhere on the web such as http://www.littlethingscount.com/lentseder.htm. But if you know a Jewish family who will be observing Passover, which begins April 7th this year, join their traditional meal. You will be richer for it.

5. A Study of Miracles. Prepare your heart and those of your kids in the weeks before Easter with a unit study about the miracles of Jesus. Learn about the properties of water and/or wine down to the molecular structure. Discover great medical breakthroughs that provided healing. Storms, fish and fig trees could all be part of your study. Read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis for a fantastic resurrection story.

There are some beautiful bloggers who have such wonderful ideas about truly celebrating Easter. Craft and food ideas can be found everywhere, but you’ll want to discover how others truly live and experience Easter. I suggest you get to know Ann Voskamp  and Dawn Hanigan. You won’t be disappointed.

May God richly bless you during this bittersweet season.

Debra Anderson has three sons ages 11 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education, is married to her pastor-husband of 16 years, and resides in their newish home in Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated her boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

When you dream of what you want your kids to be when they grow up, how often does “super model” come into your mind?

No? Really. Shocking.

What if I asked you how you would rank on the “super model” scale. Do you compare? Are you striving to become more “super model-ish?”

No? Really.

Now, lest you think I am a total flake with entirely superficial goals for myself and my kids, let me restate the question.

What if by “super model” it became clear that I was talking about “discipleship”?

Ah. Now that’s better.

Don’t we want our children to be leaders? Don’t we want our children to shine like lights for Christ in the world? Don’t we want our children to be super models of the faith?

Of course we do. How do we even begin?

First, we need to be a super model of Christ to our kids. Intimidating, I know. But our example of following Christ is the single most important thing we can teach our kids. Phonics? Physics? Algebra? European History? Who cares. None of that matters. Read that again: None of that matters if we miss out on modelling Godward living to our kids.

“Doing Bible” as a subject is important. And I certainly teach Bible to my kids as a class in the morning. But that isn’t discipleship. That isn’t living in a way that they should imitate.

They need to see me modelling prayer, Bible reading, and seeking to be more like Christ. They need to see me being a servant-hearted woman. They need to see me loving the Church. They need to see me living a life of obedience.

We know, as home educators, that there are some days where you just don’t get everything done. And on those days, I console myself with “Well, at least we did the core subjects. We did Math, Language, Bible, History, and we read aloud. That’s good for today.” More and more I’m realizing that those are not the core subjects: the core subject – the foundational teaching – is the Super Model class by which I do everything; whether I eat or drink, or teach, or serve, or fold laundry, or make a meal, or help a struggling friend, to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). And all of that with my kids watching.

On the last day, the Lord will not quiz me on my children’s geography knowledge, or their tech skills, or their ability to write a five-paragraph essay. He will judge me on how I led them to Himself. Was I a Super Model to them? Did my husband and I live a life in front of them by which we could say with the apostle Paul, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1).

Lord, this is so intimidating, and daunting. And yet you call me to be the prime example to my children. They are to look to me and my husband for the picture of godliness until they are able to look directly to you. Father, do let me model Christlikeness before my kids. May I be so mindful of those little eyes watching me, and act appropriately in front of them. And when I fail, Lord, give me the humility to make it right with them – may I be humble enough to apologize for my poor example, and to explain, from your Word, how I ought to have acted. Above all this, will you be drawing them to yourself, our perfect example, through your Word and by your Spirit so that they will be able to be super models of Christlikeness to the future generations.

Barbara Postma and her husband, as they homeschool their 7 children, are finding out that no two children are alike! Between lessons and lunches, Barbara blogs at Fuel by Barbara.