Raising Children to Live a Normal Life
June 30, 2009 by Renae
While reading Little Homeschool on the Prairie’s review of the documentary Grown Without School, a quote captured my attention:
There is a myth that through homeschooling you can achieve…more than a normal life.
I want to raise the next George Washington, Albert Einstein, or, for a current example, Ravi Zacharias. In my dream, my children are famous, and make a positive impact as salt and light in the lives of multitudes. Maybe this will happen, but, most likely, they will live a normal life.
They will grow up to be employees, business owners, parents. They will struggle when making life-altering decisions. Their clothes will get dirty, and they will experience pain. Hard work is before them.
How do I best prepare my little ones to value this earthly routine? Can a quiet life ebb with joy through the trials to come? Proverbs 4:23 admonishes,
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
According to Webster’s 1828 Dictionary, the Latin root of the word diligence is to love earnestly; to choose. Love takes constant effort, steady application, and exertion, but without it life is meaningless. Heroes love whether or not acknowledged by the crowds. They walk amid the common things and extraordinary events knowing that even an ordinary life is worth sacrifice.
Salt is meant to be sprinkled, not poured. Light illuminates, but even the sun does not shine everywhere at once.
Renae teaches her eleven-year-old son and two little girls at home. She has prepared lesson plans, enjoyed children’s literature, and delighted in discovery with her children for five years. By studying Principle Approach philosophy, she realized what she always suspected: the Bible lies at the heart of all subjects. Find her reflections at Life Nurturing Education.
Homeschooling In A Military Family
June 27, 2009 by Sallie
As more and more families across the nation decide it’s time for change and bring their children home for school, so goes the way of military families as well. There is no set number carved in stone but the numbers have risen substantially in the past few years. Many families are lost in a sea of Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) memoranda and can’t tell heads or tales of the hoopla they are trying desperately to decode. I have been there and done that! Literally! We are a military family and have been in DoDEA base schools in the states, DoDDS base schools in Okinawa Japan, public schools, charter schools, and homeschool. I want to help you sort it all out as best as possible!
Let’s get on with a bit of the regulation info first.
Then we can move to some information that will help with the everyday fun stuff rather than just the nuts and bolts of it all! The Constitution of the United States puts the responsibility of education squarely on the shoulders of the states. This includes dependent children of military members, too. Sometimes it gets confusing with home of record, state of residence, and so forth but simply put, you home educate your children according to the regulations to the actual state you live in. Here is a bit of what the DoDEA website says:
It is DoDEA policy neither to encourage nor discourage DoD sponsors from home schooling their minor dependents. DoDEA recognizes that home schooling is a sponsor’s right and can be a legitimate alternative form of education for the sponsor’s dependents.
A host nation, state, commonwealth, or territory where a DoD sponsor is stationed may impose legal requirements on home schooling practices. DoDEA encourages DoD sponsors who wish to home school their dependents to communicate their desire to their commanders to determine if there are any command policies or other rules ensuring that home schooling practices meet host nation, state, commonwealth, or territory requirements. Sponsors are responsible for complying with applicable local requirements.
DoDEA-run schools on bases within the United States are becoming a rather rare site in recent years due to the cost effectiveness of sending military dependents off base to the local community schools. As a matter of fact, there are only 7 states currently that have these schools within their bases. This may be confusing to many people as many bases still have schools aboard the installation but they are completely run by a local authority. This happens to be the case where I live here in Arizona. A local call to the school should clear the confusion right away if you aren’t sure.
Bases with DoDEA-run Schools
If you happen to be assigned to a base that does still have a DoDEA-run school, and live on installation in base housing, then you have options available to you that you may want to consider. You are allowed to use both auxiliary services as well as academic resources equal to what a child enrolled in the school would receive. Auxiliary services include access to the school library, after hours use of school facilities (comparative to what other enrolled students are allowed), and participation in music, sports, and other extracurricular and interscholastic activities. Academic resources include the loaning of textbooks, workbooks, library books, scheduled standardized tests, software, and so forth. DoDEA schools also offer a wide range of extracurricular activities which vary from school to school. Possible activities include drama, public speaking, Model United Nations, cheerleading, music, and Future Business Leaders of America. The military sponsor should contact their local school to obtain a current listing of what is available. It is not necessary to contact your base commander but it is an option if you should choose to.
Living Overseas
Do you live overseas? These same options and more apply to you as well though they will greatly depend on where you live. Depending on your circumstances, you will probably have one of three choices available to you for homeschooling. The first is homeschooling as a parental preference and you pay for everything out of pocket as you more than likely do already. The second option is to utilize the DOD schools as stated above just like you would if you were stateside. This only pertains to you if you are a sponsored family. That means you are on the orders with your military member and fall under the Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA). You can borrow textbooks from the school, participate in extra activities or sports, take standardized testing, and so forth.
Worldwide IDEA Program
Lastly I want to share with you a program called Worldwide IDEA. In the past this was a program funded through grants that allowed military homeschool families to be reimbursed for their school materials. Considered an e-school, with resources for record keeping and teacher sponsorship, as well as reimbursements for materials and internet service, this was a great option for many families. Unfortunately the grant funding has been cut and the reimbursements are no longer available. However, Worldwide IDEA has not given up the fight and is working to have the DOD recognize homeschooling as a viable, legal, GOOD choice for military families and are working with the folks in Washington to make that happen. There are still pay options available for families and the peace of mind makes it well worth it!
How and what you qualify with for Worldwide IDEA will depend on several things. First, if there are DOD schools available at your base then you will have to pay for your children to be enrolled in the program as if it was a private school. However, if there are not any DOD schools available, then you qualify under the Non DoD School Program (NDSP) and can be reimbursed for your school costs if you are homeschooling your children. I encourage you to visit the Worldwide IDEA website at http://www.worldwide-idea.org/index.html to find out your eligibility status if you are in an overseas location.
Learning Opportunities
So, now that we have the basic facts out of the way, let’s move on to some fun ideas! Why not take advantage of the uniqueness of the place you live and work for everyday school learning? There are many opportunities for learning through field trips that others in your homeschool community might not have. For instance, one of our sons absolutely loves airplanes and helicopters. Dad, who just happens to be an “air-winger” worked it out through contacts on the flightline to have part of his birthday party be a tour of one of the birds. You just can’t get better than that for “cool points” with a then 6 year old! Because of that first experience of being up close and personal with a helicopter, our son was interested in furthering his learning by finding out what the call signs on a plane mean, what the different sounds are so that he can pick them out just by sound even if he can’t see them, what the shapes are and more. This is everyday learning and most importantly, it is real life learning.
Maybe you are doing a unit study on fruits and vegetables. The commissary is available for tours usually 30 minutes prior to opening. You just have to call the manager and set it up! Or maybe your child has an interest in film or journalism. Why not give the base paper, theatre, or public affairs office a call to set up an interview and tour of the process? These are all great opportunities for you to take advantage of so why not utilize them as part of your school routine?! And don’t forget your base library has free internet access on top of all the books and videos you can check out. I love that!! I saw an advertisement for a piano video online, I went to the library to see if it was there and it was. Just consider it a try before you buy opportunity.
Are you Navy or Marine Corps? How about taking a Tiger Cruise? These are space-available cruises from an outer port back to homeport for certain age groups of your family when your service member is deployed aboard ship and returning home. Imagine the excitement for a 12 year old boy (or girl) to be aboard a real naval vessel and getting to watch the ins and outs of typical navy life. Just think of the essays you will get after an experience like that!!
The opportunities for learning are all right there in front of you. You have to be willing to go search them out for your own base though. You probably aren’t going to find a list of “things to do” for homeschoolers but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. If you live overseas, learn the language, eat the food, shop in the stores, and collect the change for a coin collection. Just do stuff! I know once you realize the potential of what is there just waiting for you to reach out and grab hold of it, there will be no looking back. SMILE! ENJOY! LIVE! LEARN!
Special Thanks goes to: Tonya Brewer at WorldWide IDEA and Lorna Dennison at Department of Defense Education Activity for their help with providing the most up to date information and navigation through their respective websites.
Sallie is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone in a round hole world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales
The Dress
June 24, 2009 by Nikowa
When I was a child I was sneaky. Being an only-child and not having anyone to tell on me, I thought I could get away with more. This wasn’t always true. My mom seemed to know the truth most of the time! Did she really have eyes in the back of her head? Were there hidden cameras? How did she know? My mom used to tell me “Momma’s know” and she was right! Momma some how did know!
Well not long after we got married, Momma told me that we’d have a daughter. She often spoke of her “grandgirl” and once even gave me a whole bunch of stuff she’d been collecting & making. Dresses, booties, blankets, etc. She crocheted and crocheting for her “grandgirl” was no different. She handed it to me & told me, “This stuff is for your future daughter. Put it up.”
“Oh mom! This stuff is beautiful! WOW look at this dress. I can see a little girl wearing this dress for Christmas……But mom, you know that I just had a hysterectomy because of the cancer. Unless we adopt, and that won’t be any time soon, I won’t ever have a daughter.” I told her.
“Yes you will. Put it up.” She assured me. “Trust me, I WILL have a grandgirl.”
Thinking she’d gone crazy and not wanting to disrespect my Momma, I acquiesced and brought the stuff home-packing it away in the attic. I wanted more children, but in the back of my mind I wondered if the reason I’d gotten cervical cancer again was God’s way of ensuring that I didn’t have any more children.
I prayed and prayed. In my heart, I’ve always wanted a lot of children. But ultimately, I knew my life was in God’s hands. It’s all up to Him. If and when He wanted me to have more children, the doors would open.
Well now that we are getting ready for our adoption (of up to 2 girls I might add), I’m going through some of our packed up things. And I came across the dress.
I hugged it.
I cried.
I want my Momma here with me to share in the joy of having her “grandgirl”.
How can one piece of clothing mean so much? How could she have known?
Now we are getting a daughter (or two)…and Momma knew.
Momma’s always know…
Nikowa is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to two boys. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.
11 Tips for Successful Family Trips
June 23, 2009 by LisaV
Two summers ago we took our first big road trip as a family, driving to Canada to visit Niagara Falls. With memories of long hours in the car as a kid, I wasn’t sure how this first attempt would go. However, we had a great time traveling and staying by the Falls, fitting in a one-day trip to Toronto as well. Below are some tips we learned on this trip.
- Listen to sermons on tape while you drive. It makes the time pass much faster on the road.
- A tip we picked up from our older son’s camp week: You can wear the same clothes over and over as long as they are clean.
- Use the hotel swimming pool. The kids love it and they can learn how to swim, as our kids did on our trip. It doesn’t cost any extra and is a good way to cool off.
- Regarding hotels, it’s a plus to have a fan in the bathroom and a sink inside too. Free parking is always a plus. It’s better not to stay on the first floor with guests above you. It’s nice to have breakfast included too.
- If breakfast is not included, bring your own bottled water and bagels or other snacks, which can serve as a quick breakfast at very low cost.
- It’s okay to try a new restaurant. You might just like it, as we did with Bob Evans.
- Take lots of pictures as souvenirs. Bring a battery recharger or extra batteries. After you return home, you have fleeting memories but the pictures and videos can last a lifetime.
- Wear good walking shoes when you set out on foot.
- My husband booked our vacation online and used MapQuest to get directions from point A to point B. He drove while I navigated. Now we have a Garmin.
- Visit tourist attractions on the weekdays, as it is busier on the weekends. Also, go early to avoid the crowds.
- Wear a baseball cap to protect your face from the sun and to cover unwashed hair. They’re a great invention!
Where are you traveling this summer? Do you have a trip tip to share?
Lisa (aka Morning Rose) has been teaching her two elementary-aged sons for four years and incorporating study, work, service, and play into their homeschooling days. She enjoys reading, writing, and photography and blogs publicly at Pockets of Time and privately at Scooter and B.
Organized Relaxation?
June 22, 2009 by Bethany
Yes, I even organize my relaxation time! I am that neurotic. Really. Just ask my husband, who’s been trying to get me to relax for years. But, even homeschooling families need a vacation.
Seriously, organization is the pathway to real relaxation. Once the details are in place, then I don’t have to worry about them and I can be at ease. I’m not running around trying to find sun block or hats or beach towels. I’m not stressed about where we’re headed or how to get there; it’s already worked out. Snacks? No problem. Car activities? Right in that bag. (Better yet, get your kids to pack their own small traveling bags with quiet games, books, i-pods, and stuffed animals.)
What’s my secret? Lists. When something pops into my head, I write it on the appropriate list. I usually have several lists running concurrently for different purposes. By spending a little bit of effort ahead of time writing lists, I can avoid the frustration of forgetting important items. The vacation list can be started at any time—the earlier the better. When I’m ready to pack for a trip, out comes my list. I check things off as they are packed. This method also allows me to pack more quickly since I’m not wasting time trying to remember what else needs to be brought. A plethora of websites offer free packing lists for various types of trips and travelers. Here are a few of my favorites:
http://honeymoons.about.com/cs/travelplanner/a/Packing_List.htm
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_PackingList.asp
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art29190.asp
Another detail that I like to organize ahead of time is the itinerary. Two to four weeks before our departure date, I go online to map out the roads we’ll be taking. Often, I check several mapping Web sites as well as a regular road atlas to make sure that we’re going the most direct and the most easy route. I print out the directions and map and store them in a desk drawer or with a pile of stuff already slated to go on the trip. I also spend time looking for and planning activities at our chosen destination. I look at the costs, additional travel time required, and educational values. While this may seem restrictive to some people, it’s really not. It gives us choices of many activities that we could possibly do. We don’t do everything I’ve planned and sometimes we do things I didn’t plan, but at least we’ve got a starting point. Since travel time is excellent reading time, I often bring material regarding the places we’ll be visiting. This helps my kids to get an introduction to and historical background on what they’ll be seeing and it’s a great way to get kids excited about unknown places.
One last tip for organizing a vacation: start early. I usually start putting things in a neat pile in the guest room (or my room) a week or two before our planned vacation dates. I do this as I remember things that aren’t on my original list or as I look at my list and see things that could be set aside ahead of time. This photo is of the pile that I’ve accumulated in our guest room for last year’s shore trip.
Of course, there will be quite a few items that can’t be packed until the day or two prior to leaving, but the more that’s done ahead of time, the less stressed I am the day before. Just in case you didn’t catch it, I never wait until the morning of a scheduled departure to drag out the suitcases!
Happy trails!
Bethany has been married for 16 years, homeschooling for 9 years, and organizing forever. She homeschools her two girls, grade 6 and grade 10, in North Carolina. She is also a partner in Codex Publishing, publisher of The Tutor and classic book reprints. When she isn’t homeschooling or driving the family taxi, Bethany enjoys reading, music, church activities, editing, writing, history, and keeping up with friends.
Father’s Day: Look Up
By Curt Whalen
Husband of HOTM writer Marybeth Whalen, author, and homeschool dad to 6 children
Bathing my three year old is always a challenge. Don’t get me wrong. He loves the water. He loves his toys, loves pouring water from cups, and loves “painting” the walls with a washcloth. And I love watching him laugh.
But sooner than he likes, bedtime draws near and we have to get the soap out and wash the day’s dirt away. Our problem begins when we have to wash his hair. He absolutely hates shampoo, and cries out loud when I have to pour water over his head. I’m always careful and have never gotten soap in his eyes, but to him that doesn’t matter. As soon as I grab a cup to wash the shampoo away I hear, “No daddy!,” and he ducks his head to try and avoid the water, only making matters worse.
The scene played out this morning while we were getting ready for church. Bath-time was over and I began the rinsing process. As I began pouring and he ducked his head to avoid the water, I heard myself saying, “Son, just look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.” The second those words came out of my mouth, I felt an ache in my heart and my eyes clouded over with tears.
You see, for the past few years, life has been a struggle financially for my family. The changes in our economy have been tough at my place of employment. I’m a commissioned salesman and have watched my monthly income slowly decline. Some specific things happened over the last few weeks that have caused me to experience some extreme emotions of fear and anger. I’ve been walking through a valley and am embarrassed to admit that in my period of self-loathing, I’ve let myself turn away from God and even directed anger His way.
As I’ve found to be typical, God uses the little things of this world to draw us back to Himself. I sat in our bathroom this morning heartbroken as the implications of the words I spoke to my son were sinking in. I heard a voice inside my heart. “Son, just look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.”
Look up.
It is so easy when we are in the valleys of our journey that we forget to look up. It is so easy to wander aimlessly through the desert times of our lives and turn away from God instead of seeing Him for who He is. Doesn’t Jesus say that we only have to look up to God and ask for fish (Luke 11:11)? Doesn’t God’s word promise us His love and protection (2 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 Peter 1:5)? Why is it that we let our faith and our hope drain out of our lives as quickly as the water drains out of a tub? Why am I so quick to forget the countless blessing I’ve already been given? How is it that I can forget that God has always provided for the things my family and I need? How is it that in a moment of trial I can still turn away from Abba Father instead of looking up and letting His love carry me through a difficult time?
I learn so much from the behavior of my children. A beautiful transformation occurred during my son’s bath this morning. For the very first time, my son fought through his fears and listened to his father’s voice. I gently coaxed him to look up to me, and with blind faith, he listened and obeyed. I carefully poured the water over his head and washed all the soap and dirt away. And I saw the realization form in his eyes that his father was going to protect him from harm. His cries of fear turned to shouts of laughter and joy.
Another transformation took place this morning. Quietly in my heart I prayed that God would forgive my unfaithfulness. Through teary eyes, I looked up to Him and promised to trust in His ways and have faith that He would help me through this difficult time. And for the first time in awhile, I rediscovered the hope I have in this life because of God’s love and His grace.
One of the hardest parts of our Christian faith is coming down off a “mountaintop” and finding yourself in a valley of suffering. We all experience it in one way or another. I praise God that we are able to put all of our hope in Him knowing that He promises to protect us. I pray that you’re not experiencing a valley in your life. But if you are, I would encourage you to look up and call out to our Father in Heaven. Fall on your knees, look up, and let his love pour over you. Let God wash all the fears of this world away.
“Look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.”
Father’s Day: What’s My Role?
June 21, 2009 by Lori
By Scott MacMath
Husband of HOTM writer Lori MacMath
“Hon…..”
“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!”
These two words help define me. I would like to tell you I have a fancy title around our house. Something like “Principal”, “CEO” or even “Superintendent”, but I’d only be kidding myself. I am defined by the call of those who love me, “Hon” and “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!”
So, with that I introduce myself to you as a humble, yet much needed Homeschool Dad.
As I was installing an update on the computer last night (did I mention “IT Analyst?”), and with the knowledge that I was already LATE with my HOTM article, I began thinking what exactly ARE my defined roles around here? Or, better yet, what SHOULD my roles be? Not just as a husband and father, but as a HOMESCHOOLING husband and father.
My intended audience for this article is all the fellow “Dad’s & Hon’s” out there that can relate to these questions. For those like me that go off to work each day, leaving Wife/Teacher/Mom at home (or in our case, downstairs) to educate, edify and overall make our house a home. **Side note – ‘She Who Will Be Obeyed’ just looked over my shoulder and added, “If you need help with that list, I have a plenty to add!” So, let it be known that the aforementioned list of tasks does not come near doing justice to all that “She Who Will Be Obeyed” is responsible for on a daily basis. For those Dad’s that are brave and patient enough to actually assume THAT role in your house, a collective tip of the hat from the rest of us! For those of you still trying to answer questions about your role, read on.
Nearly 5 years ago, after many months of contemplation, confusion and prayer, we came to the decision that homeschooling our 3 children would be the best option for them. The operative word being “them” because neither my wife nor I were remotely prepared for the challenges that lay ahead. All we knew at the time was if the Lord was calling us to it (and He showed us enough stops signs for other routes to let us know that), then we’d better do it!
Thus the journey began.
That started my struggles with exactly what my role was supposed to be in this whole homeschooling thing. Public school educated and holding a stereotyped view of what a homeschool family looked like, I hardly seemed like a good choice to LEAD my family through this. As a pastor of ours once said “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” And I needed a bunch of qualifying! I’ve learned so much these past five years. Life lessons that I would never have had the chance to experience. I’ve learned about what “commitment” really means, I’ve learned about strengths and weakness of my family that I may never have seen, I’ve learned how to pick curriculum, about how much homeschooling REALLY costs, but really I’ve learned the most about who we are and what we can truly be as a family. That’s right; homeschooling to us has been about committing TOGETHER to something much bigger than ourselves. To use a Texas Hold Em’ term, to be successful in homeschooling, everyone needs to be “ALL IN!”
I stumbled across this quote not long ago and it summed up quite a bit for me:
~Do more than exist: live.
~Do more than touch: feel.
~Do more than look: observe.
~Do more than read: absorb.
~Do more than hear: listen.
~Do more than listen: understand.
~Do more than think: reflect.
~Do more than just talk: say something.
~author unknown
This talks to daily values that we TRY to use in our lives and have learned through the process of homeschooling. We have begun to live, feel, absorb, listen, understand and reflect as never before. It’s funny to reflect on it now, I do play roles as the Superintendent, the Principal and the Accountant, but the bigger parts I play are supporting roles. It’s like being the Lead Actor and the Supporting Actor in a film all at the same time. (Or, for those of us more inclined to sports analogies, like being the quarterback AND the right guard!) I have had occasion to “call” someone into MY OFFICE to discuss circumstances that only the role of a Superintendent would handle, or make decisions on educational direction that a Principal would make, but I do most of my work in the supporting roles.
Below are a few of the roles I’ve identified as key to my success as Homeschool Dad:
- Spiritual Leadership – and I’ve lead and grown in ways that I never knew I could
- Moral support and guidance for my wife – as she serves this family in ways I can’t measure.
- Financial support – keeping this “boat afloat” along with the many trips to Staples and Costco!
- And occasionally… I provide the janitorial support that no good organization can do without! (Let it be said that NO ONE can operate a plunger quite like DAD!)
I have come to realize that the various roles I play are vital in our home. Not as a passenger or passive participant, but as a driver, engaged with hands on the wheel and eyes focused on the road ahead and the kids in the backseat. As a Dad those roles have always been needed, but they become that much more critical in a homeschooling family. I am the one my wife looks to for encouragement on her journey in her roles, to provide professional feedback that she doesn’t get during the day, but as a world-class teacher she deserves. Our family is in this together. A journey I was not fully prepared for up front, but one that I learn something new from each day. Together we know we can give OUR children OUR best, and in the end that is all God asks of us.
So there it is. Commit to the journey, go ALL IN, define yourself by YOUR actions as a homeschool Dad in your family. Whether writing a check, plunging a toilet, helping with homework or giving a well-timed hug, ALL of these and more are part of the support required of a homeschool Dad. And, above all else, pray, teach your children how to pray, and find that grace and guidance for your life that can only come from Him.
Just call me,
“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad”
Father’s Day: Turning 40
By Tim Hawkins
Comedian and homeschool dad
It came and went. Faster than a speeding bullet. My 40th birthday. And there was nothing I could do about it.
My face is changing. I have eyebrows growing in like fiber optic cable. I’m serious. “Honey, do we have any pruning shears? I’ve gotta trim these babies up.” There’s like leaves and apples growing in my eyebrow foliage. And then my ears. It looks like I have ZZTop living in there. “’Cause every girl’s crazy / ‘Bout Earhair man”. Rock on.
My products are changing. I’ve noticed you can tell you’re getting older by the products you start to use. My wife just bought me some deodorant that’s labeled ‘Clinical Strength’. That’s when you know you have issues: When your armpit funk is a clinical case study.
My body is changing. For Christmas, my wife got me a special bathroom scale. It not only measures body weight. It measures water weight, bone density, and body fat. Great. Now I have not 1 but 4 reasons to feel like a failure. I’m just glad the scale doesn’t talk. “Hey! Mix in a salad, you hairy-eared fat freak! GET OFF ME!!”
My beverages are changing. I can’t drink Coke anymore. No, no, no. My wife has me drinking diet soda. I can’t stand diet soda. Does anyone remember the first diet soda? Tab. That’s right, Tab. It was like carbonated Epicac. Sure, it’s easy to lose weight when you’re dry heaving all the time. The tab ON the can tasted better than the Tab IN the can.
My foods are changing. I can’t eat real eggs anymore. My wife is buying egg substitute. Which freaks me out. Where do those come from? What kind of chickens are shooting those things out?
And no more bacon. I love bacon. I brush my teeth with bacon sometimes. My wife went to the organic store and brought me home ‘turkey bacon’. Turkey… Bacon!? How is that possible? What, are the turkeys and the pigs hooking up now? What’s going on down on the farm these days? Gobble Gobble Oink Oink, I don’t think so. I mean, I’m open minded, but that just doesn’t sound Christian to me. And turkey bacon just doesn’t perform like bacon should. Real bacon crinkles up and sizzles when you cook it. Turkey bacon just lays flat. It’s like eating a meat flavored fruit roll-up.
Still, after I weigh the pros and cons, I’m looking forward to my 40’s. Because I’ve found there’s something great about getting older. I’ve learned to enjoy the little things that make life special. Like learning a new lick on my guitar. Or when I find extra fries at the bottom of my McDonald’s bag. Or a nap. Little things like that.
I’m just trying to keep my eyes open and see the wonder of this life. That is… when my vision isn’t obstructed by eyebrow hair.
Father’s Day: Raising Your Own Superheroes
June 20, 2009 by Lee
By Matt Binz
Husband of HOTM writer Lee Binz and otherwise known as Mr. HomeScholar
Step One: Observing Passion
The 2004 Pixar film “The Incredibles” poses the intriguing question: “What would happen if superheroes lived among us as normal citizens?” In this film, a couple of former superheroes, Mr. Incredible and Elasti-girl, marry and then, as a result of a class-action lawsuit against all superheroes, are forced deep undercover using the alter-egos, Bob and Helen Parr. The movie explores how this true “power couple” deals with suppressing their superpowers in order to live a “normal” life.
As a homeschooling father, one of the most intriguing aspects of this film is how Bob and Helen deal with their children, two of whom have nascent superpowers. The aptly named son, Dash has super-speed. His older sister, Violet, has the ability to disappear and cast force fields. The baby of the family, Jack-Jack, has not displayed any super-powers and the family is slowly accepting that he is, perhaps, not “super” at all.
Like many of the Pixar films, there are some profound lessons just under the surface waiting to be discovered. The Incredibles has much to teach us concerning raising our children, specifically, how to nurture and develop the “super-abilities” that lie dormant within each of them.
That’s right — each of them. I firmly believe that each of our children is a budding “superhero” waiting to be discovered and developed. Their abilities are likely not as dramatic as our fictional friends, but that does not diminish the potential of each of our kids to change the world in their own way. The goal of this series of articles is to provide some insights on how to grow our children from undiscovered Jack-Jacks, to full-blown Mr. Incredibles and Elasti-girls.
Jack Jack’s Story
Baby Jack-Jack is a mystery. His parents must realize that he has to be “special” - he has the right DNA - but yet he displays no superpowers. There is absolutely nothing mom and dad can do to force superpowers into him. All they can do is wait and watch. That is one of our primary roles as homeschooling parents. Gifts are discovered, not created. We need to be students of our students in order to discover the secrets that lie deep within. Eventually, Jack-Jack’s superpower is hilariously revealed to an unsuspecting babysitter. Similarly, you also may be surprised at the gifts displayed by your children. Even the most normal kids will often reveal themselves as “super” in one or more areas of their life. In our family, our kid’s gifts revealed themselves in areas that neither Lee nor I would ever have imagined.
Kevin’s Story
Our oldest son exhibited a sudden and profound talent in Chess when he was fourteen years old. Chess was something I taught my kids when they were five and seven. “Taught” in the loosest sense of the word - just how the pieces move. This lesson lay dormant in my eldest for years. For his fourteenth birthday, Kevin requested a chess book. I looked at him as if he had requested Adam Smith’s “Wealth of Nations.” I was clueless where this desire came from. None of our ancestors played chess and we had not spoken of it for years. On his birthday he received lots of presents, but only one made it back to his room that day: “Play Winning Chess” by Yasser Seirawan. Kevin emerged from his room about two weeks later and proclaimed: “I’m ready to play in a tournament.” Before I acceded to this, I told him he would have to beat me first. I detected the slightest trace of a smile on his face as he quickly ripped my position apart and stomped enthusiastically on my King. After that, I was quite willing to let him pick on someone more his intellectual size, so off to a chess tournament we went.
The tournament director looked at me with disdain. He was convinced that I was one of those parents that pushed my children to hide my own shortcomings. A few minutes of interrogation, however, convinced him that chess was probably the least likely place I would choose to bolster my self-esteem. I was utterly lost. Kevin, however, felt right at home. He ripped through a series of adult opponents with enthusiasm normally reserved for a box of Krispy Kremes. He left his first tournament with a provisional rating that placed him among the elite of Washington State high school chess players, almost all of whom had professional coaches and had been playing competitively for years. Lee and I spent the next four years feeding him chess books and driving him to tournaments. He finished his high school chess career in 2006 by finishing second in state. Not bad for a late starting, self-taught chess player with no documented chess DNA.
Alex’s Story
A couple of years after the surprise birthday request of my eldest, my youngest son did, in fact, ask me for Adam Smith’s “Wealth of Nations.” Again, Lee and I never saw it coming. I hated economics. Lee actually failed economics in college. Both of us were nonplussed at this request. “Wealth of Nations” was followed by “Democracy in America” and various other ancient tomes on political economics and philosophy. We learned not to ask too many “why” questions and just fork over the books. We figured it was a good investment.
That is exactly the way it turned out. For reasons known only to God, my youngest son had “caught fire” with economics. This led to amazing opportunities for him with scholarships, fellowships and meaningful employment. None of which would have been possible if we had attempted to force his passion into areas where we, his parents, felt more comfortable.
Such is the nature of children and superheroes. Who they are and what they become may not be what you think. It may not even be in the realm of imagination. In fact, with Kevin and Alex, the only way it made any sense at all was in retrospect. Kevin had always been quiet and analytical as a child so, now, chess seems a somewhat logical source of his enchantment. Alex was always our little academic, so philosophy made some sense in hindsight. We still, however, scratch our heads about economics.
Conclusions
The message: be students of your students. Observe their passions. Don’t be too skeptical or try to force them to love what you love. They are individuals and will spend their lives striving to become who God intended them to be. You play a critical role in shaping and guiding, but not in defining or forcing. Some of your children may exhibit “superpowers” in chess, math, economics and philosophy. Others will flex their muscles in sports, writing, dance or music. In Lee’s work, she has encountered children who demonstrate leadership in areas as diverse as acting, mycology and fiddling. The first step in raising your own superheroes is to discover where their super-powers reside. It will require your most focused attention, and will frequently demand that most elusive of all superpowers: patience.
You can do it.
The world needs them.
Your superheroes are counting on you!
Does Your Teen Know How to Spend Time with You?
June 16, 2009 by Shawnee
When my daughter was in public school, I began to find it harder to connect with her on a personal level. Spending time with her seemed to be a challenge. We were growing apart and there was so much tension because of our moodiness.
The stress put on young people in public schools is tremendous. Adults may think teens have no reason to feel stress…after all, they aren’t even a part of the “real” world yet. Hmmm, no wonder the connection is hard to make between the parent and the teen.
I had no idea how much stress my daughter endured. I wasn’t there to actually be a part of her daily life, so how could I know? I only heard and saw bits and pieces of her day. In fact, much of her physical complaints stemmed from the emotional and mental stress of dealing with her school days.
God led us to homeschool after I began to realize the extent to which the stress was affecting her overall well-being. I had not wanted to believe it. I had tried everything to help her “grow out of” her stress-related problems. It seemed to be an uphill battle. Once I saw the change in her after we settled into our homeschool routine, I was amazed.
As the stress level declined, the physical symptoms improved dramatically. The moodiness is almost nonexistent, which is shocking for a teenage girl and a middle-aged mom. The time we spend together now is embraced and relaxed. She no longer becomes irritated with my need to spend time with her, nor vice versa.
My own stress level has declined as well. My moodiness has improved. My desire to spend time with my daughter has increased and I now make more effort to relate to her wants and needs rather than trying to get her to conform to mine. Even so, she is more open-minded to my own wants and needs these days. We respect each other’s need for space more as well.
If your teen doesn’t seem to want to spend time with you, maybe there are deeper reasons than just the “stage” he or she is going through. Maybe you also have to look at your own approach and outlook on life and the things that affect your overall health. Your teen may not be and most likely isn’t the only problem that needs solving for the quality time to reach its full potential instead of a weak, half-hearted excuse of an attempt to bond.
So, it seems both parent and child have to learn the art of spending time together. Yes, my teen does know how to spend time with me…now that we are both happily homeschooling.
Shawnee Bowlin is a homeschool mom of a 10th grade daughter, also an aspiring writer and artist. She works as a veterinary technician and has been writing for the public since 2006. She lives in Northeast Texas and enjoys animals, nature, reading, writing, and riding motorcycles. You can visit her blog at Shawnee Paints
