April 08 Edition | Heart of the Matter

April 9, 2008 By The Amies 1 Comment

Click on cover for PDF version (links not available in PDF)

From the Amies….

We have already begun preparation for next school year. We have purchased some curriculum, begun lesson plans for some great literature (which will be available for download next month), and we’ve started re-organizing our school area. The kids are preparing to have a fun break at the end of May and mom is looking forward to a bit of leisure time as well!

We also have many great things to look forward to here at Heart of the Matter Online….
For starters, we will be having a generous contest for Mother’s Day that is going to bless the socks off of one mom who gives her all to her family. The prizes for this contest are valued at well over $500 but we will wait to reveal those details! ;o)

For the week surrounding Father’s Day we will be letting the DADS take over the Heart of the Matter Online. Yes, you read that right. The dads will be writing some articles for the site and you just won’t believe the topics they will be discussing! It will be educational as well as entertaining. We have great dads and we look forward to sharing their thoughts with you.

We also have the First Annual Heart of the Matter Online Virtual Homeschool Conference coming up. We have many amazing speakers lined up as well as vendors to meet all your homeschooling needs… and wants!

The speaker lineup includes: Amy Pak , Jennifer Steward, Crystal Paine , Heather, otherwise known as Sprittibee, Dawn from Barefoot Blogs, DeeDee, from the widely popular blog, It Coulda’ Been Worse, Jeannie Fulbright, Luke McDonald, Amy Grant Bayliss, Marybeth Whalen, Kelli Crowe, Gina Conroy, Kelly, from A Spacious Place, Angela DeRossett, Ami Brainerd, the creator of Homeschool Share, Robin Sampson, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Todd Wilson, Angela Parsley, Linda Lacour Hobar, Heather Paulsen, and Lee Binz.

You can check out the conference site for more information and to sign up for the event.

And what would a great website be without contests?

We have many BIG contests coming up in the next month so be sure to check back every day to see what is currently up for grabs. We’ll start it off with this Roots, Shoots, Buckets, and Boots giveaway. To enter, simply leave a comment on at least two articles in this month’s edition. See “Through the Microscope” for more details.

As always, we take submissions for cover photos, articles, projects, and more. Please see our submissions page for more details: Submissions Link.

In this month’s issue:
Good Citizenship
Bumps in the Road
Raising Boys vs. Raising Men
Don’t Be Afraid To . . . STOP!
Keepin’ It Real
We Were There With Lewis and Clark REVIEW
Learning Love Languages At Home
20 Ways To Becoming An Eco-Friendly Family
Homeschooling As a Matter Of Public Discussion
Can You Afford That Second Income?
Organized Expectations
The Computer Savvy PreSchooler
God and History of Art I & II REVIEW
How Should We Respond To Criticism & Questions
An Empty Backpack
A Mom’s Decision to Homeschool Her Child with Autism
Through the Microscope: Gardening with Kids
Give God YOUR Details
How To Attend A Homeschool Conference
Faith Through the Bad Days
From Our Readers

This month’s printables:

Core Knowledge Sayings and Phrases (grades K through 3)
Art Appreciation with Lucy Micklethwait books
HWT cursive alphabet wall strips (cut out and tape together)
All of these printables are courtesy of Angi from Peakmore Academy

Cover photo courtesy of Keri from Sunny Blog

Important Dates In April
Friday, April 11 – Meme – How I Got Started Homeschooling
Sunday, April 13 – Featured Homeschooler
Tuesday, April 15 – Field Trip Tuesday
Friday, April 18 – Meme – The Things My Child Taught Me During Homeschool Lessons & Unit Study announcement for Outer Space
Saturday, April 19 – Jessica’s Birthday
Sunday, April 20 – Around the Web in a Dozen Links & Amy Bayliss’ Birthday
Tuesday, April 22 – Lisa B’s Birthday
Friday, April 25 – Meme – Quote “Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.” ~Chinese Proverb
Sunday, April 27 – Featured Homeschooler, & Marsha’s Birthday
Friday, May 2 – Outer Space Unit Study Day, & Lori AND Rachel’s Birthday

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April 8, 2008 By Guest 11 Comments

Listening to God When the Decision is Scary: A Mom’s Decision to Homeschool Her Child with Autism

I started college in August of 2005. I remember being terrified because I had been out of school for over ten years. What could I possibly remember that would help me through college courses? As I signed onto my courses online a verse caught my eye:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..” Jeremiah 29:11-14

It was the first time I’d ever seen this verse and while it was meant for comfort, I had no idea what the future held. I was scared. My children had just started the year in a new public school. We had moved yet again, courtesy of the military, to Central Georgia. As the school year went on we started noticing significant failures in the particular school that my two older attended. The first issue came about when my five year old son was denied the right to use the bathroom. This did not end well for anyone, as I was called to the school to bring some extra clothing, only to find out that it would take a full bath to clean up this accident. My son was mortified and my heart broke for him. Soon after this incident my oldest son reported that his second grade teacher (albeit, very pregnant at the time) was assigning class work in the morning and then napping at her desk, sometimes the entire afternoon! (Can you imagine 25 unattended second graders)?

The final straw came when I arrived at the school to pick them up and a bus driver was relaying a story to another teacher, while very loudly swearing in front of a busload of kids. I was horrified. I immediately walked into the building and found the assistant principal who responded, “Well, it’s really no big deal, those children do not speak English.” I would like to say that I turned on my heel, right in that moment and took my children home for good. Unfortunately, it did not happen that way. It would take something far more profound for me to hear the beginning rumblings of God trying to change our lives.

During this time we joined a local church and to my surprise it was loaded with homeschooled children! I didn’t at the time understand how all of these parents had the courage to take on the challenges that came with being their children’s sole teachers. My husband and I were both public schooled and there were very few people in our hometown that homeschooled. It was considered very, very odd and in many cases, considered irresponsible. I felt the Lord working in my heart, but I was not ready to listen to His call.

It was not until Xander was diagnosed with Autism that my husband and I started taking this ‘feeling’ more seriously.

Imagine this:
Xander had his four year old well-check appointment a couple of months past his birthday. The doctor checked the normal things, eyes, nose, throat, and weight, and then started asking me a slew of questions regarding his mannerisms. He wanted to know how he slept, what his aversions were, if he had any obsessions that seemed abnormal. Was he always hyper? (Yes, he was.) Did he have unusual anxieties? (Yes, as a matter of fact he did.) Did he always have the need to lick everything in his surroundings? (blush… Yes, he did.)

He looked me straight in the eye at the end of the appointment and stated, “I firmly believe your son has something called Autism. Are you familiar with that term?”

I was only familiar with this term. I must admit, I was very skeptical at this point. The doctor could have said ‘allergies’ or an ‘ear infection’ or ‘blue hair’ at this point and I think I still would have had the same flippant attitude about the assumptive diagnosis. He suggested that I take him to see a local psychologist and then surprised me by pulling out his prescription pad.
“I think you would be happier if we went ahead and put him on medication for his hyperactivity.”

My first thought was ‘are you kidding me’? If you look at the statement he made you might notice the same things I noticed: “I think you would be happier if we went ahead and put him on medication for his hyperactivity.”

Where was the medical reasoning for my son actually needing this medication? It was then and there I realized that he did not have anything close to allergies, an ear infection, or even blue hair. This was a real problem. It was real enough that my very conservative doctor thought he should be medicated. Against doctor’s advice I declined the medication, but was tactful enough to add that should he really and truly need it we would reconsider at a later date. With a referral in hand we were off to make an appointment with the Psychologist to find out more about this Autism.

That night I felt the tugging on my heart louder than I’d felt it in the past. I knew that we needed to consider that maybe God was calling us out of our comfort zone to homeschool our children. I started asking questions around church. How did they like being home with their children? Were the children making adequate scores? Would they go to college? What about socialization? Would they hate us as parents? (I know at this point many of you are probably rolling your eyes because you have been faced with these exact questions!)

My answer came two weeks later when I brought Xander to see the Psychologist. I must first mention that I did not believe in these types of Psychologists and was still in the ‘AD/HD, ADD, ASD, SIDS are made up labels to promote pharmacology sales’ camp. (Don’t be offended, it’s how I was raised.) I was not ready for my child to become one of those kids.

Xander’s Psychologist was not a kid person, per se, but it worked out well because Xander never really was a kid person either. They got along splendidly and after a battery of tests and questions she confirmed the doctor’s diagnosis. Again, I was surprised when she ended the session with a rather bold statement that sent chills down my spine.

“I am going to refer you back to (the pediatrician) where you can go ahead and get the proper medications for your son.”

Followed by:
“Then you can get him enrolled in the special education program at the school and get him the help he needs.”

What I heard was:
“Medicate him and let the school handle it.”

I quietly responded that we had decided to homeschool. My husband and I had previously reached the understanding that we supported each other in the decision should we get verifiable proof that God truly wanted that for our children. I knew he would agree that it was almost as if a bullhorn had sounded down from Heaven shouting, “DO YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

There was a pause of silence while the Psychologist took in what I had said and then she rolled her eyes and said, “You can try, but it will be a great injustice to your child. He will never be able to learn at home, that’s why there are specialists. They are trained to teach your child. How do expect to teach him to read? He has poor motor skills. How do you expect to teach him to write? What about social skills? This is a very poor choice indeed.”

I considered what she said long after I left her office. What if I couldn’t teach him? It then occurred to me, I had been teaching him all along. He had never been to school before. I had even taught both of his brothers how to read and write. I could see the verse on my school site vividly in my mind. I taped it to my bathroom mirror so that I would not forget that this was God’s plan. I could teach my child even if I did not know I could teach him. I immediately began researching all things pertaining to Autism. We learned how to interact with him at home, how to best address discipline issues, and how to not accept ‘never’ for our child. The two baby steps I took through denying unnecessary medications for my child and denying the standard methods of treatment made me feel slightly more courageous than I had been just in the months prior to those visits.

This courage was with me when I pulled my older two children out of public school. It was with me when the principal shook her head and sighed. It was with me the days that I had to argue Xander’s case to Sunday school workers and family. It is still with me now.

Oh and by the way, if you are simply considering homeschooling your child is on the Autism Spectrum let me encourage by letting you in on our one-year follow up with the Psychologist. Same thing—lots of questions, battery of tests, and a huge praise from a very stunned woman.
“He is doing exceptionally! It is obvious that you and your husband have excellent problem-solving skills in dealing with your son. No medications you say? No therapy? No specialists?”
I sat shaking my head and quite possibly beaming. I mentioned that we would be moving to Nebraska in the upcoming year and were considering enrolling the children in the local schools there. I gave my reasons which included better scores, more activities, 11th in the nation, to which she responded:

“Why would you do that? He is obviously doing wonderfully at home!”

Wondering if your child might be on the spectrum? Be sure to come back next month for Part II of this article.

Angela DeRossett is military wife, homeschooling mother, and an advocate for autism research. Angela can be found blogging at Homeschooling the Chaotic Family and Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy.

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April 8, 2008 By AmyStults 22 Comments

Gardening With Children

And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. ~Genesis 1:11-12

Gardening is a fun and exciting activity that all families should be involved in. You can play, work, learn, and bond with each other. Allowing a child to grow their own garden (even a small container garden) is a great way to help children understand what people did for food before grocery stores. Requiring the child to assist with the weeding and watering teaches him or her responsibility. Gardens are bursting with life…there are few places more befitting for a family to spend time learning about and worshipping God.

The first thing you should do before you begin your garden is discuss the four elements plants need to grow: soil, seeds, sun and water. Scripture is full of stories that involve gardening – the creation of the Garden of Eden, how Adam and Eve were punished and had to grow their own food, the parable of the olive tree, the tree of life, the parable of the sower, the parable of the mustard seed. Spend some time reading these stories to your children, explaining along the way that just like human life, all plant life is created by God. God is the sun and water that gives life to the plants.

Grow a Pizza Garden
Section off a small portion of your yard and plant your favorite pizza topics, such as – tomatoes, onions, garlic, mushrooms, chives, eggplant, green onions, bell peppers, spinach, oregano, basil, thyme, and sage. Imagine how yummy this ENTIRELY homemade pizza will taste! Your children will take much pride in their hard work when they taste their creation.

Did you know…that the first pizzas were nothing like the pizzas we make today? The first pizzas were simple circles of herbed and oiled flat bread. Spanish explorers introduced tomatoes to the Italians chefs, one of which created a tomato, mozzarella cheese, and basil pizza (the 3 colors of the Italian flag) to honor his queen.

The pizza garden activity was taken from the book Roots, Shoots, Buckets, and Boots.

(You can also create a Salad Garden by planting lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, cauliflowers, and herbs to make salad dressing.)

Grass Heads

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10:30

Materials needed:
Nylon socks
Grass seed
Potting soil
Small plastic containers
Elastic bands
Googly eyes
Pipe cleaners

Instructions:
1. Place 1 tbsp. grass seed into the nylon sock.
2. Place enough soil on top of seed to create a ball the size of a softball.
3. Close the open end of the nylon with elastic band and cut off all but 2 inches of the excess dangling nylon.
4. Attach eyes and decorate face with pipe cleaners or markers.
5. Place grass head on top of container (have excess 2 inch nylon dangling into the container.)
6. Pour in 1/2 inch of water in bottom of the container every couple of days.
7. Spray water gently over grass seeds on top 2 times each day.
8. The grass will grow up like hair!!!

Window Beans

Materials Needed:
A bag of white beans
Paper towels
One zip lock bag

Instructions:
1. Wet one paper towel and out it in the baggie, along with 5-10 beans.
2. Zip up the bag but make sure to leave air in.
3. Hang the bag in your windows and watch the beans grow.
4. Later you can transplant to pots.

Grow Your Name
Get a long box and fill it with potting soil. Trace names or initials in the soil. Place grass seeds in the trench and lightly covered them with soil. In a few days you will be delighted to see your names sprouting!

Carrot Sprout
Core out the top of a carrot and put a hole on both sides to attach a string. Hang from the window or ceiling in a sunny place have the child put water in the top of the carrot where you cut it out and watch the magic in a few days keep it watered.

Root Viewer
You can fascinate kids by potting plants or herbs into a clear container. This allows them to see how the roots sprout down into the soil and the plant sprouts up into the sunlight. Here are some excellent instructions from How Stuff Works to build your own Root View Box.

What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches. ~The words of Jesus in Luke 13.

Backyard Composting
Compost improves the condition of and adds valuable nutrients to soil. Simply obtain a bin made from plastic or wood. All you need to do is add the right ingredients and nature will do the rest. You can throw in any of the following: leaves, straw, grass clippings, paper towels, lettuce, tea bags, coffee grounds, vegetable peelings, egg shells…the list goes on and on. Any material that was once living can be thrown into your compost bin. However, do NOT throw in any meat or dairy products. It is best to maintain a balance between nitrogen rich items (i.e. grass or lettuce) and carbon rich items (i.e. cardboard or paper.) Your plants will thank you for the added nutrients.

Helpful slideshow to explain composting to young kids:
http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/sustainable/slidesets/kidscompost/kid1.html

If you need a more detailed explanation for older kids, check out How Stuff Works:
http://home.howstuffworks.com/composting.htm

Enchanted Lands

“There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.” ~Elizabeth Lawrence

Edible Bean Teepee
A bean tee pee is very easy to make and best of all, is a shady and delightful playhouse. Acquire 6-8 twelve-foot long wooden stakes or bamboo poles. Arrange them in teepee style in a 5-foot circle, pushing the ends into the ground. Be sure to leave enough room for a small entrance. Tie the tops of the teepee together with heavy twine. Plant pole or string beans seeds around the base of the teepee. In a couple of months, the teepee will be covered with beans, leaves, and vines!

Sunflower House
A house made of sunflowers is another enchanting playhouse. Mark off an 8’ x 8’ area of your yard and dig a shallow trench around this squared off area. Drop in various types of sunflower seeds (you can buy them in various heights.) Be sure to refill the trench with a mixture of soil and compost. Sunflowers grow very quickly so within a couple months you will have a secret hideaway.

Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them. Jeremiah 29:5

Amy is a devoted wife, Classical homeschooling mom to a six-year-old Superhero and the co-owner of Heart of the Matter. She has a passion for genealogy and is aspiring to be a Proverbs 31 lady. Be sure to visit her blog at Milk and Cookies.

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April 8, 2008 By Kristine 4 Comments

Bumps in the Road

I remember the very first day that I started homeschooling twelve and a half years ago. I was so excited! I had my curriculum picked out and all of the supplies I needed gathered and set out on the table the night before. Things went perfectly! After all, I had read and reread the lessons like twenty times already. I was going to be the perfect homeschool mom and things were always going to be sunshine and rainbows. What I didn’t allow to enter my mind was the fact that in order to have a rainbow, there has to be rain! My perfect homeschool experience lasted three whole days and when day four hit I became, what I thought, was a total failure! I have grown a lot since then and realize that having unattainable goals will always leave me feeling like a failure. Why set myself up for that? Here is one thing that I have learned along the way and tried to apply to my life.

BE FLEXIBLE! Planning is a good thing, be prepared, but be flexible! Babies will cry, children will get sick, mom will get sick with 102 degree temperature, the dog will get sick, the bird will break free from its cage and the cats will go nuts! All of this will happen when hubby is out of town. Oh, did I mention mom is due in 3 weeks and always delivers early(can we say stress & fear)?

YES, this was an actual week in my life. Guess what, no one can have a perfect school day when this is your week! Be flexible and remember things do not always go as planned. Remember your reason for being: to bring glory to God. Sometimes our plan is not His plan. During this week (several years ago), we did not get through our ABC’s but we learned a much more valuable lesson, to lean upon the Lord. If we learn to lean upon the Lord we will find things flow more smoothly even as we ride along all the bumps in the road.

Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

This month I wanted to encourage you on those rainy days. The rainbow soon will appear. Remember who sends the rain and the rainbow. Praise the Lord for both!

Next month I plan on sharing a bit about scheduling and the importance of having of a plan. It is important however, to remember that we are not perfect and that even the best made plans are subject to the working of the Lord.

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

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April 8, 2008 By Guest 14 Comments

An Empty Backpack

After spending time asking God what He wanted for her life, our oldest daughter came and told us that she believed God wanted her to go to public high school. She felt God was asking her to be a light in the darkness with her peers. It was her petition that caused us to seek God’s heart regarding this request. We had never considered anything but home school, so it was a challenge. After several months in prayer God came to us with release and peace. She entered public school in 10th grade and did beautifully.

God often speaks to me through pictures, much like Jesus did with the parables. He sears them in my mind, with a message of truth attached. On one such occasion He used a picture with Hannah.

Hunched over from the weight of her backpack Hannah slowly walked up the driveway. Upon entering the door she remarked at how heavy her backpack was, hurting her shoulders. She asked me to pick it up and feel how heavy it was, so I did. I could barely lift it. It was overflowing with every book she owned for school. Did she really have that much homework? No, she didn’t need all the books, in fact, most of them she didn’t need. She hadn’t wanted to go to her locker so she brought them home. Had she made a quick trip to her locker her load would have been lighter. She had carried more than she needed.

In an instant God began to speak to me. “Your days are like that backpack”. “You have things in them that you don’t need, things I have not given to you.” “Come to me with an empty backpack and let me fill it up with what you need each day.” “When I leave it empty, you must leave it empty.” “Those are the days I have given you to rest.” “My grace is sufficient for the day.” “If the grace is not sufficient, then I am not the one who has altered your load, you are.” As usual when God speaks to me like that I am blown away. A few months down the road God began to give me more pieces to add to the “backpack” picture. He used the story of the gathering of manna. The children of Israel were told to gather a portion of manna each day. The amount was set according to the number in the family. They were told not to gather too much or too little, but the exact portions that God had given to Moses. Some went out and gathered exactly as God had told them. Others gathered more than they needed. And I’m sure some gathered too little.

Those who gathered too little ran out of sustenance. Those who gathered exactly as God had said were filled to sufficiency. And those who gathered too much found out what happens when you take on too much. Their excess manna filled with maggots and began to rot. When they gathered too much for their day, things around them began to stink.

On the day before the Sabbath they were told to gather a double portion. This time the double portion stayed fresh, just as God had promised. He set the portion for the day. When it was followed life was sweet and satisfying. What are you gathering for your day? Is your backpack overloaded? Does your day smell sweet or is there an odor that is leaking out? Who has filled your backpack for the day?

Being a veteran home schooler for 16 years now I often have conversations with new schoolers. Many times the conversation talks of their fear that they aren’t doing enough school. It’s easy to feel the weight of our children’s education on our shoulders. We see others doing things we aren’t. There’s no real model. We’re on our own to figure this thing out it feels, or are we?

Several years into home schooling I realized that my school was not on my shoulders it was on God’s. How could I possibly know all that my children need? After all I don’t know what I need? Only God knows our true needs. He knows what each child will be when they grow up. He knows the calling on their lives. What does He think they need for their education?

God asks us to train our children up in the way they should go. Only God knows the way they should go. It requires dependency on Him to know how to run our schools. It’s not up to us. What God wanted to teach the children of Israel in gathering the manna each day was dependency. He wanted them to depend on Him for their every need.

It’s the same with our schools. It’s a good thing there are no models. If there were, most of us would try to imitate them. What I came to realize is that my home school was mine. My family was mine. There are no two families alike. We are all created individual and unique. What God determines for my family might not be what your family needs in schooling. But the beauty is, we can all trust Him with what we each need. My Hannah graduated in 2005 and at this writing is on a 5 month’s missions trip overseas. She is walking the in way He ordained for her.

If we will go to Him with our empty backpacks for our schools and our lives, He will show us what needs to go in them. He will guide us on the road of educating our kids. He will guide us on the path that leads to life. It’s not up to us to figure it out. He’s got it all.

The Spirit guides us on the path that leads to life. Listen to the Spirit within you as you prepare. When an idea comes that excites you, then you can guess it is His Spirit guiding you. When one comes that weighs you down at the thought, then most likely it’s not what you are supposed to do. After all His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

He will fill your days with all that needs to be done. Take your empty backpack to Him and ask Him to fill it. It will be just the right size to fit your shoulders. Don’t compare your life to others.

You will know what to teach your children because He will pour out His Spirit on you, guiding you every step of the way. Gather what He places on your heart to gather. Not too much, not too little, just what He asks of you. He knows the way that leads to life. Seek His heart for your school, your children. I hear Him saying, “Come unto me with a empty backpack and I will fill it”. So what do you say? Who’s filling your backpack for the day?

Come unto me all who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 29:10-11 (NIV)

Julie Todd is a daughter of God who has been ruined for the ordinary. She has been married to her sweetheart for 25 years and is a home schooling mother of 5. She is a writer and speaker who strives to live the extraordinary life that God intended. You can visit her blog at Jewelz Sightings

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April 8, 2008 By Guest 3 Comments

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!
(This is part 3 in a 3 part series.)

HOW SHOULD WE RESPOND TO CRITICISM AND QUESTIONS?

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
I Peter 2:23 “…and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered not threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.”

I have found that some people are just not open to the idea of homeschooling and there really is nothing that can be said to change their minds. In those cases I have learned that it is best to be quiet. There are some cases where people know very little about homeschooling, and are genuinely interested in what I am doing. Some might feel intimidated by what they see us doing. Whatever the reason may be, people seem to have a lot of questions, and can be very outspoken about the subject!

Having said all that, we must remember that any comment or criticism that we may encounter is something that God has allowed in to our lives, and we have the responsibility to respond in a God-honoring fashion. We have the responsibility to evaluate the criticism and sift out any truth that there might be in it. This can be hard to do because many times criticism is not given in a way that is loving or considerate. Though people may step over the line with their comments and opinions, and maybe even focus on the potential negatives of home schooling, it can provide a good opportunity for us to go before the Lord and evaluate what we are doing.

Most importantly we need to pray! We must be aware of the challenges that may come with homeschooling, and pray for God to open up our eyes to the needs of our children, not just academically, but socially and spiritually. It can be helpful to find an objective, supportive person who loves your family, and ask them if they see any areas in our children’s lives that may need work. I have done that over the years, and it has been such a help to us! Others can see things that we do not!

As always, we need to remember that all we do should be done “…to the glory of God”
(1 Corinthians 10:31). This includes how we respond to the criticisms and questions concerning homeschooling. THESE THINGS CAN ACTUALLY MAKE US MORE EFFECTIVE AS HOMESCHOOLERS! We can be THANKFUL, even for the criticism, as He uses it for
HIS GOOD,
HIS PURPOSE,
and HIS GLORY!!

Gina is the mom of two high schoolers, a freshman and a Senior. In her column “Reaching High,” she shares the many lessons that God has taught her and her family, as they have sought Him through the years. Visit her at her blog, Chats with An Old Lady.

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April 8, 2008 By Lori 4 Comments

~Give God YOUR Details~

Elisabeth Elliot, in “Keep a Quiet Heart,” tells the story of Brenda Foltz of Princeton, Minnesota. The message is profound, and one that I need reminding of.

I started up the rock as fast as I could, determined to “set my face like a flint” toward the peak. After a time, I came to a diffucult ledge, and my breathless scrambling came to an abrupt halt. Suddenly, the rope was pulled too taut and hit me square in the eye. “OH NO!” I thought wildly, “my contact lens is GONE!” From my precarious perch I looked everywhere on the rope and sharp granite rock for a tiny, transparent lens, which could easily be mistaken for a water droplet.

“Lord Jesus, help me find it!” I prayed and pleaded, knowing the hopelessness of my search with such limited mobility. I looked as long as I could maintain my hold, praying with a sinking heart. Finally I resumed my climb with one last glimmer of hope ~ maybe my contact was still in my eye, crumpled in the corner or up under my eyelid. When I reached the top, I had a friend check to see if she could find it in my eye. It wasn’t there. Every hope was gone.

I was dissapointed, and anxious about getting a new contact so far from home. As we sat and rested, surveying the world from such a gloriously high perspective, the fragment of a verse popped into my head: “The eyes of God go to and fro through the whole earth.”

God knows exactly where my contact is this moment form HIS high vantage point, the amazing thought struck me. But I’ll never see it again.

So, still glum, I headed down the path to the bottom where the others were preparing to climb. About a half and hour later another girl set out where I had begun my climb. She had no inkling of the missing contact. But there, at the steep bottom of the rock face, she let out an excited cry: “Hey you guys – did anyone lose a contact?”

I rushed over as she continued yelling, “There’s an ANT carrying a contact down the mountain!”

Sure enough. Special Delivery! I bent down, retrieved my contact from the hard working ant, doused it with water and put it in my eye, rejoicing. I was in awe, as if my Father had just given me, though so undeserving, a big hug and said, “My precious daughter, I care about every detail of your life.”

The thought that God found an “ANT” to reveal His mercy just astounds me. We often “hear” that we are to come to God with everything….but sometimes we feel that the “details” would just bore Him. The details of our lives ARE His concern. The details of your home school day matter to Him. As insignificant as these things may seem to you, or those around you, they are important to God.

The daily struggles with formulas~ important to Him.
The toddler who does not sleep through the night~important to Him.
The broken dish that was your grandmother’s~ important to Him.
The “grey” hairs that are becoming your “crown”~important to Him.
The squabbling children~important to Him.
The “endless” to do list ~ important to Him.
The look forward to college~important to Him.
The bottom line of your “family budget”~important to Him.
The concern for your children in this society~important to Him.
The ministry you serve on where everyone tells you, they are “too busy” ~ important to Him.
The hurts on your heart, old and new ~ important to Him.
The book you have been to BUSY to read~important to Him.
The fact that you feel as if you need some “me” time~important to Him.
The way you see your body turning into “your mother’s”~important to Him.
The anxieties and fears, keeping you from complete peace ~ important to Him.
Your relationship with your spouse, that “guy” you fell in love with ~ important to Him.
The socks that disappear in the dryer ~ important to Him….Well, maybe not AS important, but if it is a concern of yours, it is a concern of HIS!

How often we forget in the midst of our daily tasks that EVERY DETAIL of our lives matters to God. He longs to hear from us.

Call out to Him! Call out the details to Him, letting Him know when you find yourself LOST, even if it is just a contact lens, or a dishwasher that was not started or a mountain of laundry that rivals Mt. Everest. No, don’t just wait for those “big” life situations, but call out in the daily details, the ones that tend to bog us down with concern and worry. The details that when we leave them to “our own accord,” become mini explosions. Call on Him in these daily details, asking Him to “order your steps” and fill you with peace, and don’t be afraid to ask Him bodly to reveal Himself in these daily tasks.

I cannot promise many things but this is one that I have learned; it’s in Him that you will FIND what you are so desperately seeking. What you are looking for and so much more! He does not mind hearing about the details, in fact, HE loves it. It is worth the reminder, that unlike us, God “neither sleeps nor slumbers.” (psalm 121:4) NO DETAIL IS TOO SMALL!

We need to look to Hebrews when we feel as if we are “drowning in the details,”

Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Hebrews 4:16

Father,
Sometimes the details overwhelm me and I forget that it is in YOU that I can find peace in the midst of my chaos. Thank you for wanting to know my daily details, it is in those things that are of no concern to anyone but me, that you continue to show me that they MATTER TO YOU. Teach me to “call out” to you in my daily life the details that can sometimes consume me. Father, please continue to show me your mercy in those details that I sometimes get tangled in. I KNOW that my peace lies in you and my trusting you….continue to reveal yourself to me, amazing me each day, with mercies new.
Thank you Father for such grace and goodness.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Lori is a 4 year homeschool mom to 3. Currently a 7th grader, a 5th grader and a 3rd grader. Lori insists that when she was wrestling with the decision to home school, a gentle voice guided her with the words, “you know what you should do.” Never looking back, accepting the challenges and rewards and CONSTANTLY clinging to THE ROCK…”No Storm can shake my inmost calm when to this ROCK I’m clinging.” “Raise Your Hands” is an inspirational column while, as the Beatles so eloquently put it, we walk “this long and winding road,” together. Hoping to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give.

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April 8, 2008 By Mandy 13 Comments

20 Ways to becoming an Eco-Friendly Family

Green.
It seems to be the color of the year! In the last few months, I’ve come across many a magazine, newspaper, commercial, television show, and website promoting eco-friendly living.

As a child, I was passionate about conserving. I helped raise money to save three acres of the rainforest. I was adamant about preserving water and energy. I often confronted litterers (as only a child can) and encouraged my family to recycle.

Mom reused containers (jars, butter tubs, etc) to use for food storage. We rarely used sandwich baggies. Mom and Dad got the most use out of their appliances as possible. They lasted for a long, long time. Mom also organized her errands to save on gas (and money). Looking back, we lived a fairly “green” lifestyle (mostly in an effort to save money).

Nehemiah 9:6- You made the heavens, even the highest heavens and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You gave life to everything and the multitudes of heaven worship you.

Over the years, I’ve abandoned some of those ways in the name of ease. I’m ashamed to admit the amount of waste we have in our home. One of my New Year resolutions is to commit myself to a healthier lifestyle, and that involves taking care of the earth, the land our Heavenly Father has given us.

I have found this to be a great opportunity to teach my children about conserving, reusing, and recycling. Of course, the best way to teach is through action, but sometimes, kids don’t quite understand why we do what we do, so it’s important to talk to them as you go green.

One of the easiest ways to save energy is to turn off lights and appliances (television, radio, etc) when you leave the room or aren’t using them. This was a habit I started as a child and have continued to this day. Encourage your children to do the same. If they can’t reach their light switch, place a stool nearby, or purchase an extender which allows them to do so.

You may not think about it, but simply having appliances plugged in uses energy. Unplugging these things when you aren’t using them will save energy and money. We have our television, sound system, dvd player, and chargers (for the laptop, cameras, and phones) plugged into a power strip. This way, we only have to unplug the power strip when these items aren’t in use.

While we’re on the subject of appliances, when it comes time to purchase new ones, go for those that are energy-efficient. It might cost a bit more upfront, but you’ll save in the long run.

You can also purchase energy-efficient light bulbs which last years, instead of months. Many come with a guarantee. If they don’t last as long as the manufacturer says, you can get a free replacement or refund.

We recently started washing our clothes in cold water. (This also saves money because we aren’t paying for heated water!) I use hot water for my husband’s work clothes (which need disinfecting) once a week.

When I come across a piece of clothing that has a stain I can’t get out or a hole I can’t mend, I set it aside. Sometimes I can cover the hole on a shirt or pair of jeans with a cute iron-on patch. (The kids love this. It seems like a new shirt to them!) Other times, I use the fabric to make something else, like a patch work dress, a superhero cape, or an outfit for a doll. The children can also use the scraps to learn to sew things like bean bags. We save the scraps for craft projects as well.

You can reuse a lot of items when it comes to craft projects. A trip to a museum in Baton Rouge gave me new ideas. This particular museum (I forget the name) has a children’s area. In one section, they have a creative area full of items like egg cartons, paper towel cardboards, fabric and paper scraps, boxes, buttons, raffia, ribbon, and much more. They encourage children to put their imaginations to work to build something. Here are some of the things some of the visitors made.

A while back, I needed an envelope but couldn’t find one. I decided to make one out of a page from a magazine. Since then, I’ve used magazine and scrap paper to make stationery. This is a great way make sure your magazines don’t go to waste. You could also pass your magazines to your friends. A magazine swap is a wonderful way to save money and paper. I’ve also used magazine sheets, newspaper, and brown paper bags to wrap gifts. (You can stamp or draw on newspaper or paper bags to make a pretty design. Kids love to do this!) You may be able to find an e-zine version of your favorite magazine on the internet, which also saves money and paper.

You can cut down on paper waste by writing notes on chalk boards or white boards instead of post-its. Try to reuse paper if possible. Here are a couple of recipes for making (recycling) your own paper!

- Pioneer Thinking’s Recipe
- Make Stuff’s Recipe

I mentioned that my mother reused jars and tubs for food storage. You can use these items to store craft projects if you don’t use them in the kitchen.

There’s a cool little lunch box on the market now. It’s called the “Bento“. It a container with smaller containers inside. This is great for separating items that could spill all over the place and for keeping sandwiches from going stale or falling apart without using plastic baggies. Even though we usually eat at home, my kids love helping me create cute little lunch box meals. These things come in handy when you go out for a picnic or a meal on the go. Laptop Lunches sells these containers.

Cloth or canvas grocery bags are all the rage these days. Before, they were a bit too expensive, but now Wal-mart and Target are selling them for a mere dollar. I bought a couple and keep them in my purse. It’s useless to purchase them if you don’t have them with you when you go shopping! If I do get plastic grocery bags, I use them in my van to toss trash before it consumes the vehicle. You can also throw stinky diapers in them so the smell doesn’t overwhelm your trash can (if you’re using disposable diapers, that is).

This month, I began using a weekly meal planner. Not only has this taken so much stress off my shoulders, but it also keeps me from wasting food. All too often, I buy fresh produce that ends up wasting away. I was just thinking about how many chickens died only to sit in my fridge because I intended to cook the meat but kept putting it off or completely forgot about it. Menus4Moms offers a free weekly menu complete with a grocery list. This helps me stay organized. I’m always prepared for supper, which makes my husband a happy man! (Plus, I save money because I’m not wasting food!)

We buy a lot of things in bulk, but sometimes (most of the time) we only need about half of whatever it is. We now split the cost and bulk with another family, which saves both of us money (and saves on waste since it requires less packaging).

When it comes to meal time, we haven’t completely switched to cloth napkins. We do, however, put a kitchen towel on the table to use as the “family napkin” if the meal isn’t too messy. This has cut down on our napkin and paper towel use. When we’re finished with the meal, I can wipe the table down and toss the towel into the washing machine.

We use special cleaners for our house. I have asthma and am sensitive to cleaners and strong perfumes. I tried vinegar, but I despise the smell. Then I fell in love with Method cleaners (found at many grocery stores like Target). They have a variety of scents to choose from (I have Lavendar All-Purpose cleanser and Mint Window Wash) with no underlying chemical odor. Method Cleaners are non-toxic, biodegradable, and naturally derived from natural minerals. They have cleansers for wood, stainless, and other special materials. Their tub and tile cleaner is fanastic, especially since there is no headache-inducing odor!

Encourage your family to save water by turning off the facet while you brush your teeth. We also share bathwater in our home. I take a bath first, and then bathe the children. This was a pretty common practice fifty years ago, but not so much now! You can also use the leftover to water plants. Showering requires even less water, but we are remodeling and don’t have a shower at this moment.

Set out recycling bins, and talk to your children about what sort of items go inside. I know it is exciting for us to figure out what we can recycle. When you go to the park or another public place, pick up trash and talk about the importance of putting garbage where it belongs.

Hopefully you don’t smoke, but if you do, don’t throw the butts on the ground. No one likes a litter bug!

These tips are easy to implement and are a step in the right direction. Sometimes this means taking a little extra care and effort, but it’s well worth it. It’s just one way we can disciple our children in caring for God’s blessings. It’s a wonderful lesson in stewardship of our earth, our possessions, and our finances.

Genesis 1:26- Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Feel free to share some of your favorite “green” ideas, websites, and books!

Here are some websites to help you and your family conserve!
GREENandSAVE: Find out how much you’ll save if you switch to greener methods!
The Green Guide: From National Geographic
Go Green Initiative: Helping others learn about environmental stewardship.

Check out these wonderful books
Recycled Crafts Box by Laura C. Martin
Recycle Every Day! by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace
Where Does Garbage Go? by Paul Showers
Why Should I Save Energy? by Jen Green
Why Should I Protect Nature? by Jen Green
Why Should I Save Water? by Jen Green

Mandy is a former homeschooling student who has set out to homeschool her three young munchkins in an unschooling meets discipleship method. In her column “Delightfully Discipled”, she gives a glimpse into the curious minds of her children as they follow their natural instincts to explore the heights and depths of knowledge and and are led though Godly discipleship. She blogs at MandyMom.com and Noggin News.

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April 8, 2008 By Marybeth 4 Comments

Because Life Happens…Sometimes we teach what we know, and create beautiful memories that last a lifetime—without even meaning to!

Learning Love Language At Home

This weekend my thirteen-year-old daughter and I are going shopping. While this might not seem like a big deal to some, it is an event for us that has been marked on the calendar in big red letters. Between her theater schedule, her siblings’ schedules and my own, carving out a whole weekend afternoon for just the two of us seems like nothing short of a miracle. But I know how important this is to her; I see the excitement shining in her eyes. I know this will be an afternoon that is about a lot more than buying clothes and experimenting with makeup. This time together is going to be a time for speaking my precious daughter’s love language.

I first heard of the concept of love languages while attending a parenting seminar years ago. Taken from the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, this concept revolutionized the way I viewed my husband, family members and children. I began to see certain things about them that I had missed before. Where in the past I had found them insensitive or unresponsive, I had a light bulb moment in simply realizing that I had not been speaking their love language and they had not been speaking mine. While I still had quite a bit to learn, this was a significant beginning for me.

It was easy for me to pinpoint my love language as I scanned the five choices. I needed only to dig into the past and picture my mother. She had done an excellent job of cultivating my love language (quality time) while seamlessly blending it with hers (gift giving). How? By taking me shopping. As we spent many hours at the mall, walking and eating and talking, she was filling up my love tank. While passers-by might have thought we were just another mother and daughter frivolously spending money, we were in fact making investments in our relationship that would last a lifetime. As I remembered those shopping trips from my turbulent teenage years, I knew that my love language had been discovered then and has never changed. My husband knows that the way he can speak volumes of love to me is to spend time with me—whether taking a walk or eating slowly at a restaurant, the point is to just treasure the time to talk and share from our hearts.

Now that I am all grown up with six children of my own, my opportunities for quality time are severely limited. But that doesn’t stop my mother from expressing her gift giving love language every chance she gets. My mother never comes to my house with empty hands. She might have a spatula she found because she knows I melted mine, a shirt she saw that she knew I would like, or some other little trinket she knows will bless me or brighten my day. Sometimes my husband rolls his eyes and calls these little gifts “junk.” But I know better. I know she is saying loud and clear, I love you in the best way she knows how. What’s more, I know that I can make her day by doing the same for her—picking up a candle she would like, or a piece of stationary with her name on it, even a cute magnet for her refrigerator. I don’t have to spend a fortune, I just have to show her: I thought of you today and I love you. Here’s the proof.

Those years of shopping with my mom were actually years of love language training and I didn’t even know it. My challenge now is to continue to apply these lessons as I relate to my own children in a way that will resonate with them. I recognize that we may not all speak the same love language—but real love is about being willing to speak someone else’s love language, even when it feels foreign to you. And like any foreign language, you can only learn someone’s love language with consistent practice. My mom has inspired me to find my children’s love language and speak it to them loud and clear. Whether I am making my oldest son his favorite meal, spending time alone with my daughter or giving my middle son an extra hug in the midst of a busy day, I am learning to be intentional in my expression of their love languages, different as they all are. Through gift giving, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and affirming words, I can reach out to them and give them the same foundation I was given: a love that is irreplaceable and irrepressible. It is not enough, I know, to just say I love you. I have to show it in a way that will speak to their hearts. My mother taught me that.

Marybeth is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her column “Because Life Happens”, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.

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April 8, 2008 By Dianne 9 Comments

Organized Expectations

I’d like to take you on a short, fictional journey. Imagine that you head out to a new job this morning (remember, it’s just pretend). When you get to your place of employment, you pour yourself a cup of coffee and take a seat at your desk. There may be a few other employees at nearby desks.

Your boss arrives, promptly at 8:17, and sits down in front of the new employee desks. He welcomes each of you and goes on to explain your first task of the day. He hands you the appropriate paperwork, a pencil, and lets you know where to find him should you have any questions. He also reminds you to check in with him when you’ve completed this task.

Your first assignment was relatively simple and completed quickly. You inform your boss and he praises your accomplishment. You return to your desk and wait for your next task. He then brings it over along with appropriate instructions. As needed, he shows you around the office so you know where to find the various materials you’ll need.

This is fairly common when you begin a new job. A new position often requires a little more one-on-one time during training. But how would you feel if you were spoon-fed one task at a time, each and every day? Maybe throughout an entire year? Personally, it would drive me crazy!

Yet that is exactly what I found myself doing during our first year of homeschool with my 6th grade son. Our days weren’t terrible, but they weren’t all that smooth, either. I realized that I wasn’t teaching him skills he’d need in life – how to be responsible for his time and himself. I was handholding my 12-year old son, and he was frustrated because he never knew what to expect.

Thus began my quest for a way to let him know what the day would hold, what would be expected of him, and how to manage his time. So I created a Daily Plan sheet for him. There are sections for each subject where I write in the specific assignments. Below that, there’s a section for chores. Following that is a “notes” section where I can jot any additional information for him, such as errands we might have, plans with others, or appointments.

This form is available each morning for him to have his day at a glance. When he sits down for breakfast, he can see what will be expected of him and have some idea of the direction our day will be heading. This also helps him to determine what to work on and when. With the check boxes, he marks off each item as it is completed. This provides him with a sense of accomplishment as well as a quick visual of what is left to do.

If he wants to play video games after school, I can ask if he’s completed his chores. If he’s unsure, he has something to refer to, without me reminding (or nagging) him. He’s also not surprised when I tell him it’s time to leave because we have a couple of errands to run, or that we won’t be home that evening.

I plan to transfer this responsibility to him in the future. He can begin to fill in the chores and the appointments. I may write the assignments on the board and have him copy them into the form. If your children are of an age where you’re working on penmanship, this might be a useful tool. It will also get them in the habit of mapping out their day.

In essence, I’ve recreated a customized version my own daily planner for him. It has been such an enormous help for us. He is better able to own his day and be responsible for himself, because he knows what is expected – both of him and our day. It is much simpler for me, because I don’t have to be available to provide him with the next task, nor remind him of the chores he has to accomplish. An added benefit is the paper trail it’s provided. I’m able to glance back at the forms from previous days and see exactly what was completed. This helps as I make plans for upcoming days and weeks.

Ultimately, my job is to train my son to be a successful adult (however that may look for him). A critical part of that training is teaching him how to organize his time. But you can’t organize what you don’t know. Once he was able to see the contents of his day each morning, it truly helped our time to run much more smoothly.

Dianne is in the third year of homeschooling with her two middle school boys, ages 14 and 12. She’s been joyfully married for 21+ years. She continually seeks to balance the many aspects of life in a way that glorifies the Lord. In her column “Blueprint for Balance,” Dianne shares organizational strategies for the homeschooling journey. Visit her blog, Bunny Trails.

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