June 08 Edition | Heart of the Matter

June 7, 2008 By The Amies 1 Comment

What is it about long road trips that cause you to become closer as a family unit all the while getting on each other’s nerves? The first 2-3 hours are great. You read, snack, sing songs, discuss what is to come, and look forward to it with anticipation. The next 4-5 hours are still manageable but with a lot less joy. You just keep tolerating it because you hope that it will be over soon. But those last few hours, heh, they are a doozie to make it through. You’re bored, anxious, and then you start to get excited. Just excited enough to realize you still have a little ways to go and then a bit disappointed again. Then you finally make it and realize that the destination was worth the long journey even though it became very difficult at times.

Homeschooling is a lot like that. We are overly excited in the beginning and we buy all the books, attend all the conferences, join all of the groups, then we start to ware down. It takes more motivation to continue now and encouragement becomes necessity. Let me encourage you. The destination will be worth the journey. Let us encourage you along the way!

My husband drove most of the way. He was definitely the captain of the ship, er uh, car. Even though I navigated and kept the kids occupied and fed, he still was the driving force (pun not intended but hey, if it works)! We want to acknowledge our amazing dads this month as we celebrate Father’s Day.

Focus on Fathers will be June 9th through the 18th. We have a giveaway everyday! Some of our articles are addressed to the men and some are just for the ladies. Our guest writers have outdone themselves and we can’t wait to share their articles with you so be sure to check it out!

We also have a new devotional this month: To Love, Honor and Vacuum by Sheila Wray Gregoire. You can sign up for the new devotional study here: Sign Up.

We have the First Annual Heart of the Matter Online Virtual Homeschool Conference coming up July 31 – August 3. We have many amazing speakers lined up as well as vendors to meet all your homeschooling needs…and wants! You can check out the new conference site for more information and to sign up for the event. The schedule for the speakers will be posted next week.

Don’t forget to sign up for our new weekly newsletter, which will begin next Sunday. Our newsletter will contain a recap of the week’s posts, who won what contests, highlights from that week’s meme, freebies, and more! To be included on the list please subscribe here: Subscribe to Newsletter. All who subscribe will be registered to win a prize!!

Please welcome our new writers!

Amy of Allen Academy
Andrea of The Honest Woman
Angela of Homeschooling the Chaotic Family
Celeste of Busy at Home
Jamie of Life & Love in Rose Cottage
Jen of Jeneric Jeneralities
Julie of Jewelz Sightings
Lisa V of Pockets of Time
Nikowa of Knowledge House Academy
Renae of Life Nurturing Education
Valerie of SoCalVal’s Homeschooling With Encouragement
Yvonne of Grateful for Grace

In this month’s issue:

Why Homeschool?
What’s in Your Beach Bag?
Density, Buoyancy, Viscosity, Oh My!
How Does Homeschooling Benefit Society?
Planning our Preschool
When Friends Stop Homeschooling
Creating a Mission Statement
Money Management for Children
How To Tell WHY Your Child is Struggling
So We’ve Chosen to Shelter Our Children
Teaching our Children is More Than “Doing School”
Making The School Year Easier On The Teacher
Teaching to the Heart
Why Charlotte Mason?
Rejoicing in Weakness
End of Year Organization

*********************
Did you know that we have a Heart of the Matter daily blog, which is updated daily and packed full of inspiration, encouragement, phenomenal resources, and weekly giveaways? Here is a taste of what you might have missed:

Feeling Forgotten?
Homesteading? Me? No, absolutely not me
Do You Know My Friend Worry?
It’s Ok To Laugh
Be the Beauty That You Are…. QUICKLY!

*********************This month’s printables, courtesy of Christian Homeschooler’s Association of South Carolina

Yearly goal sheet
Weekly goal sheet
Portfolio checklist
Blank evaluation form
Attendance form

Important Upcoming Dates:

June 9 - 18 - Focus on Fathers
June 13 – Friday Meme: “Wordless Daddy” Share your favorite picture of your husband and your children.
June 14 – Devotional Study: Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe, Chapter 4
June 15 – Darnelle’s Birthday
June 20 – Friday Meme: Tried and True Recipes
June 27 – Friday Meme: Your Questions for Us
June 28 – Devotional Study: Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe, Chapter 5
July 4 – Friday Meme: Healthy Ideas for Picky Eaters
July 6 – Unit Study Day

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June 7, 2008 By Sprittibee 3 Comments

GOING IT ALONE?

It is a common misunderstanding that homeschoolers are isolated at their kitchen tables. Somehow the word on the street seems to be tainted with completely false ideas about what a homeschool day might look like, and the general public is left to think that homeschoolers are scattered and alone in their unsocial ‘little worlds.’ After all, it was not long ago that Wolfgang Drautz (consul general for the Federal Republic of Germany) stated that he believed homeschooling to be a “rise of parallel societies… based on religion.” While each homeschooler may very well be as unique as a snowflake in one sense – many of us are certainly not alone. We have a higher calling – a calling that is louder than the lack of cash flow and lack of convenience. Most of us are plugged in to a deeper truth than popular culture. This enables us to educate our children at home despite culture’s critique and criticism. We teach them academics ALONG with values and character (to bring up productive and whole children who have a moral compass and an academic advantage). God must have had His hand in our collective-yet-solo decisions: otherwise there might not be over 2 million people in the United States homeschooling today. How else would so many families find the strength to swim upstream against the tide of society?

Although my choice to homeschool at first made me feel like I was a ‘Lone Ranger,’ I began to find that I wasn’t alone. Not only was the Lord there to guide my steps, but other Christian homeschoolers were abundant! I immediately found another mom who was more than willing to share what she knew. Sure, homeschool mothers are somewhat isolated in that they each are individuals who teach in a unique way to their own unique children, but most of them are socially adept and generous with their friendship. It was amazing to find the network of hundreds of families that lived within driving distance – ready and willing to help me along my homeschool journey.

John 15:5 ~ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

“The Solution” ©iStockphoto.com/fpm

THE NITTY GRITTY
Of course the first thing I wanted to know was HOW I could teach my children at home. I wanted a chance to be a fly on the wall in another homeschooler’s house. I wanted to see how the other moms did it. Most homeschooling moms would agree that one of the most interesting things we discuss when we get together is how everyone else is getting things done at home. You can’t leave two homeschool mothers alone for ten minutes without the subject of schedules and curriculum coming up in casual conversation. We want to read about other homeschoolers’ days in magazines, talk about our co-op buddies’ days when we meet together, and research curriculum at book fairs. Does Kelly teach Latin? What grades are Susie’s kids are in? We are constantly summing up and comparing to make sure we are on track. If ever there was a teacher who critically examined their skills and competence; let it be said that it was a homeschool mother.

Then there are the logistics of keeping a school within a home. How do you manage to do it all? How do you keep the toddler busy while the older children are learning? How do you keep the laundry caught up and the house clean? Do you have time to get dinner on the table every night? How do you get your husband to be supportive if he isn’t on the band-wagon? What do you do when your family members disapprove? It is completely understandable that we would desire this kind of information. After all, humans are creatures who desire to bond and fellowship. We all want to make sure we are doing things right, doing them well, and keeping up with a normal pace of learning. Embarking on the homeschool journey seems like blazing a trail in the wilderness, but it doesn’t have to. There have been many who have gone before us with great success. A simple discussion with another homeschooler, a read through America’s providential history, or a study of Scripture can tell us that we are not alone – and that God can turn our fears into a bright future.

Psalms 1-41 ~
1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

TO CONFORM OR NOT TO CONFORM
Before we begin homeschooling, the main thing we want to know is WHY other moms homeschool. We all started there – looking at the black and white – society, faith, academics, social skills, all the questions bouncing around in our minds. Many of us thought we couldn’t do it when we first were introduced to the idea of homeschooling. After a hundred or so years of public schools it seems strange to consider private tutoring (or “individual schooling”). Our society seems to have forgotten the long eras of tutorship, apprenticeship, home study and self-led education that forged so many great thinkers in our past. Maybe it is due to the glossing over of history. Maybe it is due to other things taking the place of reading (video games/TV/text-messaging). Homeschooling seems weird because it isn’t the norm any more. If you do it, you are suddenly a square peg, a bull in the politically correct china store, upsetting the delicate balance of all the people who like life in the box.

NOT THE EASY CHOICE
Even though most of us who have chosen the homeschool lifestyle would not say homeschooling is easy, most would agree that it is the most natural thing in the world. In fact, now that I homeschool, I shudder to think of how public schooled children’s moms find time to work, keep up with laundry and housework, make sure that their kids did their homework, schedule time to bond with the children, keep dinner on the table all week, find time for Bible Study, worship and prayer, and keep the romance alive. I remember our days of private school and my own bout with a “normal” schedule. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. I may not have been out of touch with the world, but I was certainly much more distant from my husband and children. We were passing ships. It was a more difficult and dangerous way to live – even though it was ‘easier’ due to familiarity. Life before homeschooling was a life consumed with business and busyness – and a lack of togetherness and involvement with the people that meant the most to me eternally.

So what are the reasons a mom would give up her chance to keep up with the Jones’ and not be the talk of the family/church/town? I’m sure if you are new to homeschooling or considering it for the first time you are on the edge of your seat wanting to know. Not all reasons for every homeschooler will be the same, but I would love to share with you the reasons why our family gave homeschooling a shot. I’m sure that there are quite a few homeschooling families out there who share many of my reasons and could add their own stories to the pot. Our reasons continue to grow every day that I read the news and see the results of homeschooling in my children. The list is too long to be contained in one article or even one magazine after six years at home with my children.

While I began with only a limited amount of understanding about homeschooling and a strong belief that God had called me to choose this lifestyle, I no longer ONLY homeschool on faith. I carry on with a treasured memory box full of exceptional test scores, amazing experiences, cherished photographs, and testimony from convinced family and friends who were once skeptics. I am here to encourage you that if you begin with only faith, God will faithfully bless you. Faith is enough. The rest will come. Don’t just take my word for it. If you are new to homeschooling, find someone locally who will share even more stories with you. Find a mentor and build a friendship. Get to know her kids. The more you learn, the more you will understand that God can take your meager efforts and small faith and work a miracle in your family. God can make you stand.

Romans 14:4 ~ Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

“Success” ©iStockphoto.com/ayzek

EXCUSES, EXCUSES
Originally when I first wrote down my “Why I Homeschool” story, I had just been in a discussion with a friend who told me why she COULDN’T homeschool. Her excuse was that she felt like she was too disorganized to attempt homeschooling, and she was afraid she would procrastinate the year away. Personal fears are probably the #1 reason why moms don’t start when they feel called to homeschool. Many moms begin with fear of the unknown and the false assumption that they have to be a rocket scientist with an education masters to teach their children. Even veteran homeschoolers get cold feet now and then. Some of the worries you have about your final results with homeschooling will stay with you as long as you choose to homeschool. Every year you might get the jitters when you give those standardized tests. Most of the time, the anxieties are unfounded – but not because we are all such talented and intelligent educators. We succeed despite fears because our real strength and success lies with the One who answers our prayers. God doesn’t require us to be perfect. He requires our obedience and reliance upon Him. Only He can give the success we desire when raising our kids.

“God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called.”

NOT THE EASY CHOICE
Just like everything in life, homeschooling requires an amount of FAITH. At some point, each homeschool mother has looked at a dwindling checkbook, a loss of free time, and a load of work dead in the eye and took that first step off the homeschooling cliff! If I told you that homeschooling is an easy choice, I would be lying. It is an arduous task that requires your full self to be poured into it. You have to plan, set goals, and carry through. You must study your children and learn how they can best be taught. You have to organize yourself, your school supplies, and your time. Each day is a new adventure. And for every perfect school day you have, there are at least three or four days where you wonder if anything sank in those little minds you are leading. The key to homeschooling is lots of prayer. And somehow, on your worst days, you will get a little hint from Heaven that makes the entire process worthwhile when your child will say something that lets you know he or she has truly learned what you have been trying to teach them. Or you will get a comment from a neighbor or friend about how well behaved and intelligent your children are. It is so wonderful to get encouragement – especially when you are your own worst critic. When you receive these small rewards, you will know that God is smiling on you and patting you on the back for your sacrifice. Even though you will have burnout and bad days ahead, there will also be times of refreshing to keep you motivated to march on with the task you feel that God has called you to do.

AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART
Homeschooling is a heart choice, because if it were only a head choice, many of us would have abandoned the ranks long ago! It is much easier to drop your children off on someone else’s doorstep and work an eight hour job in the adult world. It is much more financially rewarding as well! There are many days when you have to budget luxuries out of the schedule. Not only are you making this sacrifice, but you are paying school taxes in to the public system anyway, and getting none of the high-dollar benefits. But for all its hard work and sacrifice, homeschooling is its own sweet reward. The excitement in your child’s eyes, the ability to be there and see them learn something new, the laughter and tears you’ll share along the way: these are the beautiful gifts you receive as a homeschool parent. So if you asked me why I homeschool, in just a few short words, I would tell you this: “Because I love my kids, and because God entrusted their minds and hearts to me, and I want to honor Him by everything I put into them.”

To Be Continued…
Be sure to join me next month for part 2 of Why Homeschool? I’ll discuss our experiences with private school, and other reasons why we chose to educate the kids at home.

Sprittibee (Heather) has been homeschooling for 6 years and has one crazy husband, 2 crazy kids (ages 9 and 11) and 2 crazy cats. When she isn’t making Tex-Mex, learning web design, teaching the kids, or rubbing her face on the cat’s belly, she loves to blog. In her column “Heartstrings for Homeschoolers,” she reminds us to stop and smell the proverbial flowers on this journey we call homeschooling. Not every day will be a great one. She admonishes us to learn to focus on the beauty of the moments God has blessed us with – for better or for worse – because our hearts are shaped by the memories we are making.

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June 7, 2008 By Jamie 4 Comments

After studying various methods of homeschooling, I have chosen to use Charlotte Mason’s style. Her main principles are some of the many reasons I chose this method. Here are a few of them:

~ Children learn from real things in the real world! We use the opportunities in the environment children already live in to educate them. Recently, as we were listing our garden flowers for part of our nature study, my daughter was able to name off at least ten of our flowers without even going outside. That shows me she really is paying attention when I ramble about the flowers as she’s helping me weed and learning how to prune the flowers! I just LOVE it when I get validation like that because it proves that learning does happen best outside of a textbook. Certainly, we can supplement our learning with books, but she would not have any desire to earn more about our plants and flowers if she didn’t already have hands-on experience with them.

~ Children’s minds are fully capable of digesting real knowledge, so we provide a rich, generous curriculum that exposes children to many interesting, living ideas and concepts. My daughter just finished first grade, but she reads really well, and I believe that is due, in part, to our love of books. One of these is The Blue Fairy Book. It has some complex, old-fashioned sounding language and difficult vocabulary, and at first, it was awkward even for me as we did our read-alouds. I didn’t think she would understand it at all. I was wrong! In fact, I sometimes catch her “sneak-reading” from this book, and later she’ll tell me about the story very accurately and with great detail! We should never underestimate what our children are capable of learning!

~ Children have minds capable of making their own connections with knowledge and experiences, so we make sure children learn about nature, science and art, that they know how to make things (handicraft fun!), that they read many living books, and that they are physically fit. Charlotte Mason encourages us to get outside and to make sure our children are familiar with their world: their yard and the surrounding areas. They should know North, South, East, and West in relation to home, and so on. We can’t comprehend far-off mountain ranges until we’ve climbed a hill, and if we’re familiar with a pond, we can better understand the Great Lakes and the ocean. This is how we begin to understand about the places in our books. In keeping with that idea, I asked Kathryn to make a map of our home and yard.

~ In devising a curriculum, we provide a vast amount of ideas to ensure that the mind has enough brain food, knowledge about a variety of things to prevent boredom, and subjects are taught with high-quality literary language since that is what a child’s attention responds to best. We love poetry, and our most recent book of poetry is The Oxford Book of Children’s Verse, which is a collection of many poets spanning several centuries. Each day, Kathryn chooses a poem and reads it aloud. This is great practice for her and I can make sure she is pronouncing words correctly. Then she picks a stanza that she likes, and copies it for handwriting practice. Once she has read it and done her copywork, she often has at least that one verse memorized. If she really likes the poem, she ends up reading it more than once. Not long ago, we read “The Mad Gardener’s Song” by Lewis Carroll. Kathryn LOVED the poem and thought it was hilarious. She got so tickled that she kept having to stop reading because she was laughing so much! That night in bed, she was reciting the poem again to her stuffed animals. This is most definitely not a child bored with her education!

And here is the BIGGEST reason for me…

~ We allow no separation to grow up between the intellectual and spiritual life of children, but teach them that the God is their Continual Helper in all the interests, duties, and joys of life. There is unity among both secular and divine subjects because both are of God and, whatever children study or do, God is always with them.

We don’t even separate Bible from our other subjects – God is in EVERYTHING we learn. Studying God’s creation (nature study) points us back to the Creator. Studying art and science helps us realize that ALL talent and knowledge is God-given, even if the recipient doesn’t acknowledge it.

There are many wonderful methods of homeschooling, but Charlotte Mason’s method is exactly what I was looking for, and I love it! I wish I’d been taught this way! Learning is so fun! I pray every day to be given wisdom in teaching my child, and for her to have a teachable spirit, but I also pray for MYSELF to have a teachable spirit and a never-ending thirst for knowledge about the Creator and about everything He made!

If you’d like to learn more about Charlotte Mason, visit these great links:
Summaries of the CM Series
Who was Charlotte Mason?
Ambleside Online

In The Handbook of Nature Study (a very Charlotte Mason-style book!), I found this wonderful quote:

“After all, what is the chief sign of growing old? Is it not the feeling that we know all there is to be known? It is not years which make people old; it is ruts, and a limitation of interests… It is rejuvenation for the teacher, thus growing old… to go out with her youngest pupil and reverently watch with him the miracle of the blossoming violet and and say: ‘Dear Nature, I know naught of the wondrous life of these, your smallest creatures. Teach me!’ and she will suddenly find herself young.”

So many books and magazine articles address the issue of how to stay young, and here we’ve found the answer: just keep learning! For those of us who homeschool, it’s easy if we just keep our hearts teachable and learn right alongside our children.
Jamie is in her third year of homeschooling, and loving the mostly-Charlotte Mason style she’s chosen. She is a joyfully married wife in a blended family, and knows that absolutely anything good she accomplishes is because of Christ in her. Her days are fueled by the love of her family and many cups of steaming hot tea. When she’s not blogging or homeschooling, she’s probably doing a photography session, gardening, or just playing with her crazy mutt. She invites you to visit her personal blog for more eclectic bits of encouragement and fun at Life and Love in Rose Cottage.

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June 7, 2008 By Guest 3 Comments

‘Tis the time of year for homeschool planning! Whether you follow the traditional school year or are just feeling the itch in your year round homeschool to take a slight break, it is common to read on homeschooling blogs across the web, “Taking a break to plan and relax. Will be back soon.” What about you? Have you been pouring over curriculum catalogs and websites lately? Maybe you are new to homeschooling and are wondering how to even begin the planning process. While I am far from being called an expert in this area, I thought it would be helpful to share how we plan for our preschool homeschool year.

Planning for our homeschool has got to be my favorite hobby! I love putting pen to paper and writing down our family’s educational goals and then finding great books, resources, unit studies, and lapbooks to meet those goals. There is so much available that it can be a challenge to not try to squeeze it all in during one school year. If you are teaching young ones like I am, you can relax in knowing that you have many years ahead of you in this journey, and plenty of time to cover material. Armed with that knowledge, you can begin to focus your attention on what is important to you just for the year ahead. What topics do you want to expose and cover with your children? What skills need work or tweaking? What core areas are of importance to your family?

I have been exchanging enthusiastic emails with several homeschooling moms through Yahoo groups and my personal blog, going over how we plan and organize our year and our own answers to the questions above. Although I do frequently change the organization of our lesson plans, I have found a system for planning our year that works really well for us. I start with writing down the goals that I want to focus on for the coming preschool year. If we can master those goals, everything else is just icing on the cake! I break those goals into the subject areas of Bible, Phonics, Language Arts, Fine Motor/Pre-Writing, Math, Science, Social Studies, Geography, the Arts (Composer Studies, Picture Studies and Dance), and Foreign Language. Under each subject area, I write very specific, realistic, and tangible goals. Then I write notes regarding resources, ideas and activities that can help me accomplish those goals.

Next comes the really fun part – creating my year plan and book list! Our family loves literature-based unit studies, so I get out my Five in a Row manuals and Sonlight catalog (for the wonderful suggested books for this age group) and pull up the Homeschool Share unit lists. I write down the book titles that I want to cover that year, trying to list no more than 45 books (leaving room for breaks, vacations, and current delights). This is not easy. There are so many wonderful books out there! What I do is focus on one great book to be the “main course” for the week and choose several books as supplemental reading or “tag-alongs.” At this point you can either use the list as is, or group the books into themes.

I decided to go with the theme week idea, so I generated a second list of themes based on holidays, seasonal events, and topics of interest to my girls. I then looked at my original list and pulled the books together that fit within those themes. This worked out very nicely! I also consulted the book list for the Prep Curriculum at Brightly Beaming Resources, since that curriculum is organized by themes as well. A theme will either run for a week or for several weeks, depending on the amount of books, resources, and interest.

After my list is put together, I take out the calendar to roughly plan it out, as there are certain holidays and events in the year that determine the type of units we do. For the themes we selected this year, the majority of them fit very easily within a given month, but I definitely like the idea of keeping it loose so we can choose depending on delight. The next step I did this year was one I got from Jocelyne, a mom on the Homeschool Share yahoo group, and I love it! I opened a Word document and wrote down on 12 separate sheets how many Mondays were in each month (thus giving me how many weeks I have in that month for a study). I also write down any holidays or events on our calendar for that month. Along with those on my personal calendar, I used the wonderful ideas at By Sun and Candlelight to incorporate even more holidays to celebrate every month. I really love this idea of finding reasons to celebrate every day life!

Next comes our monthly planning. I look at the month ahead and note any holidays and seasonal events, along with current children’s interest, and pull together the themes and books that fit best. For June, there are five Mondays, including the first week of July. Due to the hot weather, I know our glistening pool will call our names often, so I chose five weeks of themes that will be light and fun. I wrote those down, but did not assign them to a particular week. I also jotted down field trip ideas that coincided with the chosen themes and craft projects that fit with my themes and the time of year. Then I started gathering my resources.

Often times I create my own unit study based on my children’s delight, my own interests, and the wonderful resources at my disposal. Other times, I use the awesome complete studies other moms and educators have put together, ready for me to pick up and go! I again pull out the FIAR manuals and unit studies from HSS, look at the enormous amount of e-books, lapbooks, and unit studies downloaded on my computer, and any favorite websites that I have collected. I chose which lessons from those resources I wanted to cover, based on the educational goals that I had previously compiled, and looked for any holes that needed filling. I hopped onto my library’s website and requested all of the books, supplemental books, and videos that came up in my search that looked fun. At that point, I was done planning for the month!

Another great Jocelyne tip was to have file folders for each of the books or themes you have on your list so that you can print any resources or jot down ideas as you get them, instead of writing them down in a notebook never to be seen again (of course, not that I have ever done such a thing, ha!). She also suggested printing out an extra copy of your list to give to close relatives who might be inclined to find fun items in the $1 bin at their favorite stores while shopping!

If you are interested in seeing what themes I have chosen, I encourage you to visit me at my blog. I would love to hear how you plan, as well as any fun themes or books you have chosen to cover. My plan is always open for tweaking! Isn’t that the fun part about homeschooling?!?

Rachel is a wife and a preschool homeschooling mom of two little princesses, Jordan Faith (3) and Carolina “Cali” Grace (2). She has a passion for instilling a love of learning. She loves to create her own unit studies, as well encourage moms to experience Joy in the MINISTRY of Motherhood. Visit Rachel at Keep The Way.

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June 7, 2008 By Robin 1 Comment

When we acknowledge and admit our weakness, we learn to understand the power of God’s strength.

God gives us the strength to endure and even rejoice in trials. We can rejoice in weakness, trials, hardships, persecution, and calamity when we understand God is building in us dependence on the glorification of the grace and power of His Son. Thanks be to God – our sins are forgiven and are as distant from us as the east is from the west. To God, it is as if they never were. Don’t be misled, this doesn’t mean there are no consequences to sin. I, and those I love, suffer the consequences of my sins. And yet, through God’s grace, all will be well. I know He will work out everything for the greater good.

“Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.” 2 Corinthians 3, 4-5.

We become humble by identifying and admitting our complete reliance upon the Lord for any righteousness. When we are aware of our weaknesses, the Lord can use those very weaknesses to bless our lives through Him and prevent sins of pride and self-exaltation.

2 Corinthians 12:9,10 says “My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore will I rather glory in my weakness that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in weakness: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

We are Called to be Salt and Light: Even in Our Weakness

Matthew 5:13-14 explains that we are the “salt of the earth” and the “light of the world.” I Corinthians 1:27 explains that we are also the weak and the foolish of this world. God called me in my weakness, in spite of my failures, to be salt and light. He allows me the privilege of sharing parts of my life with others – things I have learned, discovered, and studied. My desire is to share my findings and my mistakes with the hope that I might encourage others to seek God and keep others from making the same mistakes — from having to live with the same consequences.

For What I Want to Do I Do Not Do, But What I Hate I Do

Paul said , “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” Romans 7: 14-25

I sincerely, with all my heart, want to produce the fruit of God’s Spirit — love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness and self-control. But at times I produce the fruit of my flesh – self-centeredness, pride, impatience, a judgmental attitude, anger, and bitterness. I default to my sin nature daily. I sincerely want to be a Proverbs 31 woman, but I have been a less than godly wife and I have failed in marriage. I sincerely want to be a loving mother, but I have acted in anger to my children; times I will regret the rest of my life. I have been a disobedient and disrespectful daughter. I have been an uncaring sister and a selfish friend.

I make hundreds of little decisions a day, and many times I get them wrong. These are the things I don’t want exposed – things I prefer never to admit. But I must be open about how I have failed, because only then can God forgive me, cleanse me, and use me. “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs 28:13. Praise God!

“Only when I abide in the Lord and in the power of His might, then I become strong.” Ephesians 6:10

Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

I stand before the throne of God and marvel. I deserve hell and He has not given me what I deserve. He gave me Christ. He gave me hope. He blesses me over and over in spite of my failures. He has turned my mourning to laughter and my heaviness to joy.

My favorite Bible story, the one I have clung to since I gave my life to Christ, is the story of the sinner woman with the alabaster box.

One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat at the table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was sitting at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw it, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”

And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “What is it, Teacher?” “A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he forgave them both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, to whom he forgave more. And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore, I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:36-47.

The woman publicly declared her sorrow over her sin and displayed humility and deep gratitude. She surrendered all that she was and had to Him. My sins are many; they are numerous and heinous. I have been afflicted, crushed, forsaken, desolate, and miserable. Out of pure compassion, the God of infinite mercy forgave my sins. He has shown me mercy according to His loving kindness. His tender mercies have blotted out my transgressions. He has washed me thoroughly from my iniquities, and cleansed me from my sin.

“Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound” Romans 5:20

Since the foundation of the world, God’s purpose has been to bring all things into harmony with Him, giving us an exhilarating and inspirational relief from the fearful and depressing heaviness of sin. Christ’s sacrifice gives us the opportunity to choose to live in Adam, under condemnation, or in Christ, justified. Christ accepts those who are unacceptable and receives those who are rejected. I am filled with gratitude that He accepts me.

When we allow the Holy Spirit to teach us the depth of our sin and the dear price paid for those sins we will not be able to help but resist pride, recognize His mercy and love Him with all our being.

Has God used you in spite of your weakness?

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ”

Robin has been homeschooling for 20 years. She and her husband Ronnie are blessed with a “yours, mine, and ours” blended family of eleven children (ages 6 to 34) and thirteen grandchildren (ages 1 to 12). She is actively teaching the two youngest children still at home. Robin is also an author and business owner. Please visit her at Heart of Wisdom.

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June 7, 2008 By Lee 3 Comments

This is the time of year when people think about their plans for fall. It feels wonderful to see the END of each school year, and look forward to the beginning of the next year. Unfortunately, though, this is also the time of year when some friends announce that they will stop homeschooling for one reason or another. I remember some years when I was really shocked at the people who stopped. Long time friends, committed homeschoolers. The hard truth is that some of your long-time homeschool friends may decide to put their kids into a traditional school setting. Too often this happens because parents are afraid to homeschool middle school and high school.

Ouch! When this happens, it can really hurt – and throw you off balance. So what should you do when friends stop homeschooling?

Know your child and trust yourself

The best advice I ever received was given to me by my midwife, shortly after the birth of my first child. “Know your child and trust yourself,” she said. It still holds true, even when your baby grows up. Only YOU know what your child needs – you know your child better than anyone, and only you can decide the right course of action. Notice that this only applies to your own child, not your friend’s child. Oh, phooey! It would be nice to have all the answers for everyone, but that just isn’t possible. The good news, though, is that we do have the answer to our OWN situation, and the answer comes through knowing (and loving) our own child. Notice that my midwife didn’t say it would be easy. It’s hard; parenting is always hard. Even parenting an “easy” child is hard! But through knowing your own child, you can make the best decision for your child, and then you can trust the decision that you make.

Don’t follow the crowd

Don’t let what other people do affect your behavior. You know what’s right for your child, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with other people. If you like homeschooling, keep with it. Having a friend change their plans shouldn’t change your homeschool. If you remember that your decision is based on your knowledge of your child, then someone else’s decision will have less of an impact. You and your children can continue to be friends with them. This is just a small change, in the scheme of things. Small changes happen all the time and we adjust. This is just one of those changes.

Use what works

Is homeschooling working for you? I’m not asking if it’s perfect, because no school will ever be perfect. I’m only asking if it’s working. Are your kids progressing through subjects, learning things, doing things? Don’t ask yourself if something else MIGHT work better, because you don’t know for sure if the grass is really greener somewhere else. You only know your own homeschool. Is it working? If it’s working, don’t stop!

The known and the unknown

You don’t know if a traditional school situation will help your kids. When Kevin was in a 4th grade “Gifted” program in public school, he didn’t stay on track, didn’t finish his textbooks in the year, and goofed off much of the day. Other kids didn’t turn in their homework or finish the reading. Yet nobody cared! Even if you change schools, that “staying on track” situation may not change at all. Moms are often their own worst enemy. Don’t beat yourself up, just look for the best solution for your family.

Kids on the conveyor belt

Do you remember the “I Love Lucy” episode with the candy conveyor belt? (Here is the link.) That’s what traditional classrooms are like! When kids get behind, they will do whatever it takes to catch up – and sometimes “whatever it takes” means not learning the content! In school, kids are on a conveyor belt, and they move at a certain speed regardless of how quickly they are learning. Is that what you think “staying on track” means? Our mission as homeschoolers is NOT to have our kids stay on track! Our mission is to teach them at a speed that is right for them – always challenging but never overwhelming. Keeping kids on track isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Keeping parents on track

Keeping parents on track is usually a better tactic. Prioritizing your homeschool, keeping lists or checklists, and developing schedules can help. My children were able to follow my instruction as long as it was typed out. For whatever reason, my oral instructions always seemed to be open for debate. When I gave my kids written instructions, it somehow seemed to be more “official” and they usually accomplished it without complaining. If you have trouble keeping yourself on track, consider getting a curriculum with a teachers guide or schedule. Sonlight Curriculum is what I used when I first started homeschooling. The schedule helped kept me on task.

If Sonlight doesn’t meet your needs, make up your own schedule. I used “Managers of Their Homes” by Teri Maxwell.

Her strategies taught me to prioritize education above most of the other things that fill our lives. School first and “stuff” second. I began to recognize that homeschooling was my vocation and chosen career, not just one more household task.

I believe fear is the most significant factor in the decision to put children back in a traditional school setting, especially as high school approaches. Will I be able to teach high school subjects? Will I jeopardize my children’s future? What if there is a crisis at home and I can’t teach? My job is to encourage parents, and to explain high school.

I hope talking about homeschooling high school will make it seem ordinary, so that by the time you face high school, the fear is gone. You will be able to make decisions based on what is best for your child, instead of basing your decision on fear. Next month I have an article discussing the “What if?” fears and what you can do to overcome them.

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, “Helping parents homeschool through high school”. You can sign up for her free email newsletter The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from The HomeScholar Blog.

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June 7, 2008 By Heather 1 Comment

While you want to teach your children how to manage money and be good stewards, what is the “right” way to do it? Do you give your child an allowance or not?

My husband and I have been on both sides of this equation at one time or another, sometimes drifting back and forth, really. This left us many questions about how we were teaching our children about money management.

We tried the “$1 per year of age per week” and I think we failed miserably at that. Our oldest child, who was 8 at the time, wound up with money in the bank that she didn’t know how to manage. And simply letting her make mistakes, as the experts advise, didn’t work. One day, she had $100 in the bank, and the next, she had $2, but had a great collection of Webkinz. What did she learn, really?

Then, we tried the “money for chores” reward system. I spent days making chore charts, and assigning chores to children, and figuring out the monetary value of each chore. That went over like a lead balloon for us. For one, did we really want our children to learn that if they did a chore like make their bed, or pick up their toys, that the reward would always be monetary? What about going out into the world at a job? Would they only flip a hamburger if they got paid specifically for that? Would they charge extra for putting on the cheese slice since they got “extra” for taking out the trash at home? And our middle child, who was 7, decided that he would rather make $1 for making his bed than 50 cents. So, we were in a struggle. What did he learn, really?

We have been following Dave Ramsey’s babysteps for some time now. We would like our children to have a little more knowledge about money and how it works than we grew up with. I grew up not really knowing how to manage money. As I graduated from high school at the age of 15, and got my first job at 16, four months later, I really had no bills. I worked two full time jobs since I was bored, and didn’t have any money saved. I spent it as fast as I made it. I learned at an early age how to play “checkbook roulette” where you would cash a check at one store, and deposit the money to cover a check that you wrote that you didn’t have the money for, then the next day, you would go to a different store and repeat the process. YIKES! I vowed that I would teach my children good money stewardship. Well, I do get an “A” for effort.

We have tried the following process and I think that it’s working for us.

We have played the game “CashFlow for kids” with our children as a family. We are wanting our kids to learn that real wealth does not come from debt, as we learned growing up. The whole premise of this game is teaching kids that when their “passive income” (money NOT worked for) exceeds their monthly outflow that they are truly wealthy.

So, simple terms, right? Well, what my now 10 year old daughter has been doing is saving her money from her birthday. She has sought out sale prices on pop, and looked for coupons. She has “invested” her stash into pop and chips for our annual community garage sale. She is hoping that she will more than double her money. And, as a bonus, she has figured out how to buy for the lowest price and wait until things go on sale. Our son, who is 8, has been learning that you really don’t have to pay full price for anything if you are willing to wait. He has been wanting this Webkinz for some time now, and had the $13 saved up for it. Bam! There was a coupon in our Sunday paper for Meijer that had $3 off Webkinz! He got the Webkinz, and got to save $3 in the process. He is using that leftover amount to invest in his sister’s pop stand. He will become a shareholder and get $4 back. Nice, huh?

We no longer give our children an allowance either for chores or “just because.” We would like them to learn early how to invest and watch their money grow and work for them. Hopefully, they will know more about money management when they are off to college than we did. Maybe they won’t repeat our mistakes.

What are some of the ways that you teach your children about money stewardship? I would love to hear your ideas!

Heather is a stay at home mother with 3 blessings to take everywhere with her. Teaching women to shop and save and get the most for your dollar are a vision that has been a long time in the making. She enjoys sharing her trials and triumphs at the local stores, as well as some good (and some not so good) recipes to help make those dollars stretch. Her column, “Practical Penny Pincher” is a must read for the thrifty homeschool mom. Visit her blog at Titus 2 Woman.

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June 7, 2008 By AmyStults 3 Comments

Want to hear a confession? I hated science until I started homeschooling. High school science was boring and confusing. I was one of those girls who would choose a boy lab partner, bat my eyes at him, and make him do all the work. Luckily in college I never had to take science. Then I married a man with a “scientific mind.” I wonder if my most often said phrase during the first year of our marriage was, “I don’t know what that means, don’t use those big words.” Look at me now, writing a science column for Heart of the Matter!

I should have known that I would give birth to a boy who wants to be a scientist when he grows up. Look at him in that picture, drooling over the Home Science Tools catalog! Because of that sweet little boy, I have forced myself to learn about and love science. Being able to participate in hands-on experiments has made science fun! What made it even more fun was that I finally began to understand what was going on. Some of their genes must have worn off on me! Suddenly I understood the difference between an atom and a molecule, how exactly objects could float on water, and why little water drops often formed on the side of my glass.

What helped the most was getting down to the nitty gritty and learning the TERMS. You know, the actual definitions behind all those coma-inducing words. So here are some of the most commonly used elementary science terms, their simple definitions, and some experiments to help you understand their meaning.

Density

You are my density . . . I mean my destiny.
~ George McFly, Back to the Future

Density: the measurement of how heavy something is compared to the amount of space it fills. In other words, density shows how tightly the matter within the object is packed together. Why is density important? Just ask the famous Archimedes…

Sometime around 250 b.c., the Greek mathematician Archimedes was given the task of determining whether a craftsman had defrauded the King of Syracuse by replacing some of the gold in the King’s crown with silver. Archimedes thought about the problem while relaxing in a bathing pool. As he entered the pool, he noticed that water spilled over the sides of the pool. Archimedes had a moment of epiphany. He realized that the amount of water that spilled was equal in volume to the space that his body occupied.

This fact suddenly provided him with a method for differentiating a mixed silver and gold crown from a pure gold crown. Because a measure of silver occupies more space than an equivalent measure of gold, Archimedes placed the craftsman’s crown and a pure gold crown of equivalent mass in two tubs of water. He found that more water spilled over the sides of the tub when the craftsman’s crown was submerged. It turned out that the craftsman had been defrauding the King! Legend has it that Archimedes was so excited about his discovery that he ran naked through the streets of Sicily shouting “Eureka! Eureka!” (the Greek word for I have found it!!) Archimedes had used the concept of density to expose the fraud.

~ by Martha Marie Day, Ed.D., Anthony Carpi, Ph.D.

Experiment with density
Fill a bowl with cotton balls and another identical bowl with rocks or marbles. Weigh them both. Even though there is the exact same volume of cotton balls and rocks, the bowl of rocks weighs much more. The heavier object is the item with the highest density since it has much more “stuff” packed together.

Buoyancy
We have the great Archimedes to thank for the discovery of this principle too. I am sure all kids (and most adults) have wondered at one time how in the world huge ships can float! Buoyancy is the force that a liquid exerts on an object when the object is lowered into the liquid. Ships are built to be less dense than water. It really has nothing to do with their enormous weight, but with their shape and delicate balance of their weight. The curved shape of a ship displaces the water around it, or moves it out of the way.

Experiment with buoyancy
Place one of the cotton balls and a rock or marble that you used above into a bowl of water. The more dense object will sink, while the less dense one will float. Place an aluminum pie pan into a sink full of water. Notice it won’t sink. Now try to force it straight down into the water. Notice it pushes back – it still won’t sink.

What you feel pushing back is called a “buoyant” force. And that is what makes ships float. What you are doing when you push the pie pan down is to try and displace the water – to move it out of the way. It doesn’t like to do that. When you try to move water with something lighter or less dense that itself, it doesn’t like that. If you blow through a straw into a glass of water, the water immediately pushes the bubbles up to the surface.

Condensation
Condensation is the process of changing from a vapor (gas) back into liquid form. Condensation is what forms clouds.

Experiment with condensation
Put room temperature water in a small cup. Place the cup in a ziplock bag, being careful not to spill any inside the bag. Place the bag in a sunny window. Watch for water droplets to form on the bag.

Solution/Solute/Solvent
A solution is simply a mixture of a solid and a liquid in which the solid completely dissolves into the liquid. A perfect example is sugar water. Sugar, a solid, is the solute. Water, a liquid, is the solvent. Solute + Solvent = Solution.

Experiment with solutions
Nothing could be easier than making sugar water. Do a 2-step experiment by first making a sugar water solution, and then adding Kool-aid powder to make another solution. Solute (Kool-aid powder) + Solvent (sugar water) = Solution (Kool-aid).

Viscosity
Some liquids, like water move very fast, while other liquids, like honey, move very slowly. Viscosity is simply the measurement of how fast or slow a liquid moves. A thin liquid is less resistant to flow, thus moves faster and is considered a low-viscosity fluid. A thick liquid is more resistant to flow, thus moves slower and is considered a high-viscosity fluid.

The word “viscosity” derives from the Latin word “viscum” for mistletoe. A viscous glue was made from mistletoe berries and used for lime-twigs to catch birds.

Experiment with viscosity
Create wands by filling clear plastic straws with various liquids and glitter. Tape one end of the straw closed and gently pour various liquids such as water, olive oil, vinegar, rubbing alcohol, etc, into separate straws. Sprinkle a bit of glitter into the straws and tape the open end closed. Compare how fast the different fluids flow.

Review of Hands On Science: Particles in Motion
written by Elizabeth Brough and published by Castle Heights Press

This curriculum is a complete 32 week science program that can be adapted for K-6th grade students. Four sections of broad topics (thermodynamics, weather, aerodynamics, and astronomy) are further broken down unto experiment sets. Section 1 (thermodynamics) covers eleven basic concepts such as density, states of matter, and air pressure. Section 2 covers thirteen aspects of weather and atmosphere, such as clouds, humidity, and tornados. Section 3 includes four weeks of experiments on aerodynamics. Section 4 spends four weeks on astronomy.

Most of the experiments can be completed in under an hour. Each section contains experiments for younger students and more challenging ones for older students, a list of correlating books, a few field trip ideas, diagrams, and conclusions.

One of the most helpful aspects of the curriculum is a complete materials list that tells exactly what you need for entire year of experiments.

The author explains her approach in How to Use This Curriculum:

The basic concepts in this volume are introduced, developed in several experiments, and applied to different areas of science. Each concept is repeated several times, yet in a different context, so that repetition does not become boring. For instance, air pressure is introduced and explored with experiments and games and then applied to weather and aerodynamics.

Each experiment set in this volume is interconnected to at least one of the others. The study of water leads to the study of the oceans, which leads to a study of the water cycle, which leads to a study of rivers.

One of the many reasons I really like this curriculum is because there are no tests and no pressure on the child to make sure they get the experiment perfect or completely understand the concepts. As the author says so brilliantly herself, “The purpose at this young age, as with all the other ages, is to explore the world around them, to hone their observation skills.” She understands the importance of allowing scientific discovery with the added pressure. This curriculum certainly reflects her beliefs.

Volume 2, covering chemistry, biology, and other life sciences, is in the works.

Would you would like to see a sample of Chapter 4: Density of Liquids?

Please visit my sponsor – Castle Heights Press!

Amy is a devoted wife, Classical homeschooling mom to a six-year-old Superhero and the co-owner/Director of Operations for Heart of the Matter. In her column “Through the Microscope,” she writes about the beauty of science and finding God’s handprint through the miracle of everyday elements and processes. Be sure to visit her blog at Milk and Cookies.

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June 7, 2008 By Lori 6 Comments

It IS that time of year again!
Time for FUN in the SUN!

As I was gathering up the “essential” beach/pool bag supplies, it occurred to me that these little “summer time sundries” serve as spiritual reminders as well!

In our beach/pool bag this summer you’ll find the following:

~Sunscreen (SPF~the highest one I can find)~

The initials traditionally stand for SUN PROTECTION FACTOR….but let’s change that “S” to SATAN and the higher we go…the greater the armor we wear! Makes you think about going with that 72 SPF doesn’t it??

I’m calling it SUMMERTIME ARMOR~

“Put on the FULL ARMOR of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”
Ephesians 6:11

~Water Bottle~

It’s easy to get dehydrated in the scorching summer sun and a water bottle is handy and healthy to have along. It’s also a reminder of where the”living water” can be found.

“Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”
John 7:38

~A few toys, like a SAND SHOVEL~

These are essential if you are “pooling or beaching it” with young folk this summer. That simple sand shovel serves as another reminder. Be careful where you build that sandcastle, as they are prone to waves.

“But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Matthew 7: 26-27

~Flip Flops~

Those fanciful, colorful FUN shoes are one thing we can’t leave home without!!
The message in the flip flops is unmistakable. Walking in the footsteps of Christ is ever on my mind as I glance down at my “flip flopped” feet.

“Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding.”
Proverbs 9:6

~Umbrella~

Don’t leave home without one!
Those summer storms can be unpredictable! Not to mention arriving at the beach to see that all of the umbrella chairs have been taken. Traveling with an umbrella is always wise.
No doubt, another reminder for our lives is found in that umbrella. HE is our “shelter in the storm.”

“I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.”Psalm 61:4

~Sunglasses~

Essential for eye protection, any optometrist will assure you.
Again I’m reminded how important my VISION is. The sunglasses remind me where my own eyes need to be fixed. Forgetting that can make for a miserable day!

“But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge”
Psalm 141:8

With the beach/pool bag packed, I realized that I was taking with me far more than I had originally thought. These summer essentials became life~essentials. This summer I’ll pack up the USUAL items, but their meaning is going far beyond just “filling the bag.”

This summer, paying a little bit of extra attention to “what’s in YOUR bag” may just help you to .

Father,
As we enter this time of fun and relaxation, help us not to forget to see You in the ordinary. It is daily where we can find YOU. Glimpses of You are ever in the details. As we begin our summertime journey we ask for Your protection and Your presence in our lives. Help us to use this time to reconnect with YOU while we engage in play, enjoy rest, and embrace life. Thank You, Father, for this time of summer, full of fresh air and fun. Help us to be constantly mindful of Your hand in it all!

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Lori is a 4 year homeschool mom to 3. Currently a 7th grader, a 5th grader and a 3rd grader. Lori insists that when she was wrestling with the decision to home school, a gentle voice guided her with the words, “you know what you should do.” Never looking back, accepting the challenges and rewards and CONSTANTLY clinging to THE ROCK…”No Storm can shake my inmost calm when to this ROCK I’m clinging.” “Raise Your Hands” is an inspirational column while, as the Beatles so eloquently put it, we walk “this long and winding road,” together. Hoping to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give.

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June 7, 2008 By Kristine 2 Comments

It is often hard for me to talk only about homeschooling my family. I end up discussing discipline and family dynamics. To me they are lumped together into one category; teaching, training, and raising my children. It is all that is included in being a mother. I do not often separate them. I will admit I have found it hard to come up with things to write about for this column because I have a hard time trying to focus only on homeschooling. Homeschooling a large family is normal for me just as homeschooling two children is normal for the mother of two. This is just my life. I do not often think of how I homeschool a large family, instead I think of how I raise my children. I do not often factor in the number of children into my equation but only acknowledge that I have more on my plate to manage than most. I simply do what I do by the grace and wisdom that God provides. It really is that simple.

One thing that God has shown me as I have begun this journey of motherhood is how to discipline my children. Discipline is teaching, instruction, and correction. Sometimes punishment is a part of that but if so then it should be with the outcome to instruct. Teaching, instruction, and correction, that sounds a lot like homeschooling doesn’t it. Do you see why I have a hard time separating the two? Discipline is a part of homeschooling. Even in colleges they call a particular area of study, a discipline. They go hand in hand.

My husband and I were newly married at 18 & 21. Our first child was born a year later, when we were 19 & 22. We really had not talked about how we would raise a child. We simply followed examples around us and did what was expected. Our discipline was more on the punishment side without much thought to teaching or training. Outward obedience was the main goal. Please do not misunderstand, outward obedience is extremely important but should not be the main or ultimate goal. Have you ever seen an obedient child full of resentment and disrespect for the parent or any authority figure for that matter? It also leads to a “it is okay as long as I don’t get caught attitude.” Right and wrong is determined by the outward viewing of behavior. So if no one sees, then it is okay.

I truly believe that some of the difficulties we have faced, and thankfully not too many, were because we focused more on the outer behavior than on the heart. As we have grown as parents and in our relationships with the Lord, a lot of things have changed. Teaching to the heart is something that my husband and I have learned along the way in our parenting adventure.
This scripture hit me in a completely different way one day.

1 Samuel 16:7b
“…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

If God looks at the heart then maybe as a parent I should look to the heart as well and not just the outward appearance. I began to look at disciplining my children in a whole new light. I started to look at the root of the problem. Why did my child behave that way? Yes, we would discipline for the actually hitting of his sister but we would ask questions.

“Why did you hit your sister?”

The replies might be: “I was angry, I want that toy, she was bugging me.”

We would in turn respond with God’s word:

Anger: Ephesians 4:26a, “Be angry and yet do not sin.” Or Proverbs 14:29, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”

I want: Romans 15:2, “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” Or Galatians 6:10, “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

She was bugging me: Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

We began to teach to the heart for things such as selfishness, lack of self-control, anger, pride, envy, disrespect, and so on. In tackling those “hidden” sins and using Scripture to address them, we found that most of the outward behavioral sins became fewer and fewer. The majority of the outward is an overflow of the inward. If we take care of the weed’s root then the weed cannot grow, but just picking a dandelion does not keep it from returning. In fact the longer it remains the more it will spread. You must get the root!

Psalm 51:10 says “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

This is a prayer that as a parent I pray over and over again and I also pray this for my children. As I teach them, at the heart of their sin and use the Word of God to address it, I pray for the Lord to create a clean heart within them, and the rewards are immeasurable and far outweigh a child that is simply outwardly obedient with a hardened heart.

I encourage you to search the Scriptures and to re-evaluate how you are teaching and training your children. All Christian parents, including me, are not perfect, we need the grace of God to accomplish the great task which He has given to us!

As you homeschool your children, make sure you are teaching and training their hearts as well as their minds! This really is The Heart of the Matter!

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

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