Heart of the Matter

As a homeschooling mom I have been asked one question more than any other. No, it is not how I teach socialization. The question is, “How did you teach your children to read?”

Although this question is frequently asked, I always find myself blushing and replying, “I never taught my children to read.”

Now, you might wonder why people ask me about reading. The fact is that around each of my children’s third birthday they have become fluent readers. What typically has inspired parents to ask me this question is hearing one of my children reading at a young age. Are you wondering why I am a bit embarrassed to respond?

Photo Credit: Heidi, Mt Hope Academy

Here is another fact. Not only have I never taught my children to read, I have not even taught phonics. How does one begin to answer the question when she hasn’t taught them to read? What has occurred with each of my children is they suddenly begin reading. I have no proof as to why they all began reading fluently at a similarly young age, but what I do have proof of is why they have become readers; I read. I don’t mean I read blogs or curriculum or magazines from time to time. I read everything! You are your child’s best and most important example.

From the time my children were infants I have spent much time in bookstores and libraries with them. I always presented the idea as a field trip of sorts. Our local bookstores and library are on a first name basis with my family. After 18 years, this is still a favorite outing for my children and one must see location on every vacation is the local library. In addition to this, I have been reading aloud to my children since before birth. So, imagine my surprise when one of my children, who is a fluent reader, began complaining about reading. BLAM! I had a reluctant reader. Of course like any typical homeschooling mom, I believed there had to be a fix. I researched dozens of ideas and methods to help me. I became so focused on finding a “cure” that I overlooked the beautiful truth God had presented to me.

The first part of the truth is that there are two basic types of readers: Functional and Genuine.

• A Functional Reader is one who reads for a required purpose. This reader does not go out of her way to read extra information. She reads exactly what is assigned, and no more. If she is asked to write a research paper and the requirement is a minimum of three books for the bibliography, she reads three books. Note that a Functional Reader may be more of a scanner than a detailed reader. A Functional Reader often complains or finds drudgery in the task of reading. Another sign of a Functional Reader is the repeated intention of starting a book, but not finishing it.

• A Genuine Reader is one who reads for the joy of reading. This reader is voracious. Typically a Genuine Reader prefers the feeling of a magazine, report, or book in hand. She can be found reading tucked away in quiet places without being asked to read. She will read any written text; often out loud. (This can be annoying to those around a Genuine Reader as she repeatedly reads mundane things like ingredient lists and advertisements.)

You may be surprised to know that a reluctant reader can be either one of these. Reading personality does not define a person, but it is a key in helping a reluctant reader find his “eyes,” so to speak. Just because one is a reluctant reader does not mean that she does not read for enjoyment. However, she may not be reading what you consider to be the “right” reading material. For example, you may have a child who moans and groans each time you ask her to read a story aloud to you, but voluntarily reads instructions to games or projects. This person may be a “baby” Genuine Reader. This means that she will read on her own for enjoyment, but has a different choice of reading material than you would typically choose for her.

Now, if only there was a large red “Easy” button to turn your child on to reading, right? The first thing is to determine the reading personality of your child. With a reluctant reader you only need to discover whether your child will groan less over reading instructions on a worksheet or reading a story. Once you have determined her reading personality, now it’s time to do a little inner reflection. Spend time in prayer asking God to reveal your personal educational goals for your child. This seems so simple, but it is overlooked more often than not. It is so simple that it is a topic that was not covered during my training as a teacher. Some of my educational goals vary from child to child according to their God given gifts and personality. For example, my oldest child is an intensely auditory learner. He truly loves books, but struggles to finish a physical book. However, he finishes a multitude of books by listening to them. My youngest child is deeply oriented to visual and tactile learning and thrives when reading text and holding the actual book. What God revealed to me was that my personal goal for my children was to have a lifelong love for reading, regardless of what or how they read.

Once you have determined your child’s reading personality and your personal goals for your child’s reading it is time to implement ideas that will create a hunger for the written word. The second part of the truth God imparted on me was that I needed to meet my child right where he was. I had to accept that God made him absolutely perfect. It was my job to continue to help him manifest himself into the person God planned for him to be without all of my preconceived ideas and desired thrown into the mix. If this is where you begin to stumble and become frustrated with your reluctant reader, help is on the way. This is where the FUN begins! Begin by changing your thought process of teaching your child to read as an educational task to one of having FUN with your child. All children enjoy stories. They may have a preference to different genres of stories, but that is normal for people of all ages. For example, I have always enjoyed a spectacular fictional story over an instructional story. Many of my friends share the opposite preference. Developing a love for reading with your child starts when you stop forcing your child to read your way.

Take time to try different ideas for reading with your child. One very easy strategy is to read aloud to your child using your finger put at each word as it is read. Do not just stop doing this with picture books. Continue this while reading chapter books to your children. Relieving the pressure for them to read on their own will allow them to experience the exciting aspect of reading. When you read aloud use good inflection, diction, accents, and voices. Even a visual learner will be drawn into the story in this way. Instead of having a reluctant reader, who shows signs of becoming a Genuine Reader, read a biography search out a book that describes the life of a person in story format. This is often referred to as a living book. Most reluctant readers will delve into a topic without hesitation when the topic is presented in story format. Continue to do this with your reluctant reader in short segments. Conversely, if your reluctant reader shows signs of being a Functional Reader, a biography may be a better choice than a living story. This will begin to eliminate their fear or rebellious spirit of you trying to “trick” them into reading. You are doing this because it is FUN! You will notice that your reluctant reader begins enjoying the exclusive time with you once the work aspect of reading is removed from the task.

Allow your child to pick the topics or books that you will read to or with them. The important aspect is that they begin to enjoy reading, not that the books read are highly desirable in the educational world. I have made my way through some of the most horribly written stories with my children; so much so that I have to remember why I am reading the story to them. You are trying to spark a desire to read. Keep reminding yourself of that. I begrudgingly read through all of the Captain Underpants books with one of my children. I really had to motivate myself for reading time while we were reading through that series. Keep your mindset on how much more relaxing it is to have your reluctant reader ask if you can finish that funny story about the kid who lived during the Revolution than to have to bark orders and threaten her to read a book that contains all the most accurate and detailed facts and is on every educator’s must read list.

As your reluctant reader begins to look forward to reading time, ask her to read one sentence per page. This presents them with a non threatening perspective on reading. One sentence is not too big a task for anyone. My reluctant reader started requesting to read exclamatory words only. In order to get him reading more I searched out books that had lots of exclamatory sentences. He so enjoyed, and still does, reading those sentences. As time progresses have your child read a bit more. If you have several children who read have them take turns reading sentences or pages. Not only is this great if you have more than one reluctant reader, but it really gives you the opportunity to work on strengthening the skills of all your children. Your children who struggle with listening will become better listeners. Those who struggle with the physical task of reading words will become stronger in that area as well. Before you know it, reading is no longer drudgery for anyone.

One other fabulous tactic to grabbing your reluctant reader’s attention is to allow her to do another activity while she is reading aloud. You can have coloring sheets that she can work on while she is listening, have her draw pictures of what is going on in the story, or do an unrelated activity. Perhaps you have a child who enjoys hand sewing; have her work on a sewing project while she is listening to the story. If you have a child who likes building with blocks, allow her to build while she is listening. Again, you are taking the stress and preconceived negative aspects the reluctant reader has in her head and changing them to positives.

Here are a few other ideas for making reading fun for a reluctant reader. Have her close her eyes while reading. Afterwards ask her to draw a favorite character. Get Dad involved. Have your husband ask her about the story or character using open ended questions. Once you have a good understanding of a character make up a silly adventure about the character. Take a break from reading a page and ask questions in a conversational format with her such as, “Why do you think Frog is so kind to his friend Toad?” or “What do you think about a kid trying to become President?” Have her write one to three sentences to summarize an entire story. Integrate the characters or story topic into other schooling. For example, try making up math problems that incorporate characters or parts of a story you are reading.

As you continue on your journey to help your reluctant reader develop her reading personality and desire to read, you will find that she chooses to read on her own more. Don’t just use one idea from this article; use them all. Be sure to alternate activities. As you begin to see which type of activities your child is inspired by, you will find more creative ways of presenting them. One thing to keep in mind is that it won’t matter when she is an adult if she read Jane Austen’s, Pride and Prejudice if in adulthood she finds reading a drag or her memories are those of you hounding, yelling, and pushing her to read it. The reward is a child who is self motivated to read throughout the rest of her life.

Leslie Valeska is the wife of Thomas and homeschooling mother of four children who reside in SW Florida. Her family operates Fresh Gear Solutions, LLC and enjoys RVing. She is the founder and director of Simple Journey Ministries which was established to encourage, inspire, and support women on their journey to Godly womanhood. Leslie is also employed as a vintage seamstress by Vintage Vixen.