First Year of Highschool

I’ve been skimming a new favorite on the homeschool circuit, Do Hard Things, by Alex and Brett Harris. I’m trying to determine whether it would be the right selection for a living book on character next school year. This book, written by homeschooled teen twins, prompts teenagers to rise above the low expectations that society sets for them. While I’m still undecided about the book, its content left me thinking. In fact, I thought so much about it until it prompted me to have the discussion with our Sunday school class about the gap between what God thinks of them and what they think of themselves.

One of the realizations the book expresses, and our class expressed as well, is that, for the most part, when you see something about teenagers, it’s generally negative. Whether it’s teenage pregnancies, teens and drugs, teens and peer pressure (almost always negative peer pressure, not positive), the news is just not good. I can remember surfing in Blogland and finding a meme on raising and homeschooling teenagers. I found it intriguing that the authors actually had to articulate the need to be nice when speaking of your own children.

There are changes that occur in children at this age, without doubt. On one hand, the homeschooling environment gives us the opportunity to be more sensitive, hopefully reducing everyone’s stress level during this accelerated growth phase. On the other hand, the homeschooling environment gives us more of an opportunity to pray because we don’t get a break when the stress levels are high. As I’m no child expert or medical doctor, I won’t presume to offer any advice on teen development; this is simply my observation based upon conversations with friends in similar situations.

So, where do all the studies, the research, the articles, and the countless “how to” studies leave a parent of a homeschooled teen? With tons of information on home educating a high schooler; why not add my two cents? (smile)

After a looming sense of dread during my daughter’s 8th grade year, I would say at this point that high school is not the big, hairy monster that I thought it would be. I am convinced that most of the changes existed in my mind rather than in the way that we adjusted our homeschool. For us, the core course requirements stayed the same.

Our oldest still needs a steady diet of grammar and composition, math, science, and history. Yet, I would tell another parent that the age-old wisdom of knowing your child becomes tantamount here: knowing strengths, areas that need development, life/career interests, learning styles, and how to marry all of this with the opportunities around you can make all the difference in the high school experience.

What else would I tell a parent who is considering a homeschool that includes high school?


Include the Bible in your studies. It amazes me how many Christian parents decide to forego Bible studies as children grow. Several parents that I know will say something along the line of “we just don’t have time,” or in some way insinuate that since it’s not important to a college administrator, its value is somehow diminished. I shared with such a parent recently that it is possible to do both as a part of your studies–integrate God’s Word and prepare your children academically for college. (Her comment was, “I want my children to know who god is but I want them to get the information that will get them into a great college first.”) I talked about the history significance of the Bible, and how even non-believers recognize the significance of the Bible, if nothing more than as a history text; it is included in almost every study of ancient World history. But that’s really not reason enough to include Biblical studies. The real reason in my mind is what I alluded to earlier: what teenagers are challenged with today makes me realize how very sheltered my world was 25-30 years ago. As our pastor shared this morning, a walk with our Lord shouldn’t be a Sunday morning event, but should permeate the remaining hours in our week as well. Simply put, a Christian parent can no longer afford to limit opening a Bible to Sunday morning. The enemy is too cunning, and the price—our children’s souls—is too high.

Don’t slack off because your child’s academic goals don’t include college. I’ve shared previously that my father had to quit school at an early age in order to sharecrop with his family. My mother had more education, and fought to become a registered nurse when the highest position most black women held was generally a teacher. Because they understood the value of higher education, we were never given a choice about college; we simply got to choose where we wanted to go. My husband and I have raised our children the same way, and we’ve geared our homeschool toward that end. However, I also recognize that college is not everyone’s goal. I do believe, however, that regardless of the path, this is the last opportunity for you to pour into your child those habits, that knowledge, and those values that will define her as she leaves home. Lee Binz of the Home Scholar does a marvelous job of discussing why an academically rigorous education is important, especially to a child who is not pursuing higher education.

Having said that, what should you add to a high schooler’s curriculum to give it uniqueness? Electives, which can take many forms. A high schooler can also take advantage of art studies, music studies, and whatever electives are of interests. Composition can take a number of forms: blogging, editing a family newsletter, or volunteering for an organization that needs a public relations person (free press releases), as examples. The oldest has a friend who writes plays and short films, and will see his first manuscript brought to life this summer at a local library. For that math enthusiast who likes to play video games, how about a course in applied mathematics such that he can design his own interactive fun?

An unschooler would give better advice than I would on designing electives. There are also books and resources on the subject. In our home, given our daughter’s interest in fashion, I put together a reading/ writing project for her using the Biblical character of Esther (since we studied Ancient World History). She drug her feet in completing the project, but when she asked me, “So, who are we going to study next year?” I knew I was on to something.

Pick your battles; win the war (the dragging of feet prompted that one). Our high school doesn’t start when I want; it ends later than I want. I make a choice each morning to not start my day fussing. I don’t always remember the choice when the beauty regimen takes closer to an hour, but I make it (smile). Toward the end of the year, I began to follow up on our pastor’s worship series regarding “The Worshipping Life,” and I walked around in the mornings with my MP4 player listening to worship music. This changed my whole outlook on the day and its troubles. It probably made me more relaxed than I should have been, but at least I wasn’t screaming at anyone to hurry. Well, not too much.

Early is never early enough. Again, I am writing from the perspective of a parent whose child, unless the Lord sends a burning bush to say otherwise, will leave here and attend college in a few short years. Yet, I’m sure that whatever your children’s plans are, there is one constant: you must prepare them to increasingly live a life of self-sufficiency (minus human interventions, I mean). This has meant, in addition to day-to-day lessons of managing time, money, and a stack of dirty clothes and/or dirty dishes, the following tasks:

  • Coordinating with the public school system for standardized test taking
  • Researching college alternatives
  • Researching scholarship and grant possibilities
  • Transcript preparation
  • Understanding what a given college wants and needs and how that pertains to what we do in high school

In short, all of those activities that the public school system handled for me, complete with the expertise and the power to delegate, now fall flat in the laps of my husband and I to get done. I have at least two examples of making a few calls in a half-embarrassed state, thinking that someone would consider me a slave driver of parent. In each case, I had narrowly missed some critical deadline to position the oldest to accomplish some major milestone in her college preparation. My advice to any parent who is walking a similar road would be to start early enough that others will laughingly say to you, “You’re already doing that?” As others have wisely said to me, you will laugh last. Pray. Though prayer is nothing new for a Christian, I believe the Lord gives a special grace for those with teens.

Here are some specific needs that I know I’ve become acutely more aware of in raising my teen:

  1. We have to pray for them to stay with Christ, whether they leave us or not.
  2. We have to pray to grow in trusting them as young adults whose plans don’t always align with our own.
  3. Because there is no other teacher to point to regarding the gap in your child’s knowledge (whether going to college, to the military, or straight to work), we must do our best, but we also have to know God as a gap-filler.
  4. We must pray to grow in grace as we come to the revelation that everything we think is wrong with them ain’t them (pardon the vernacular). In praying, realize that the Lord will change you as much—or maybe even more–as He’ll change your child. We are given a wonderful opportunity during these years, and with the right resources, it can be a tremendous time in our lives. God bless you.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.

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Working with a Lightning Bolt

The final year of homeschooling my current oldest at home seemed to be passing slowly. We talked about future plans, but he couldn’t quite seem to put his finger on his next step. A retake of the ACT in the fall raised his score a few points, yet that didn’t prompt a move forward. Even more surprising was that this particular child who had always been focused, detailed, and timely on all his high school studies and whom I had anticipated making the push to finish his senior year early, which is a definite advantage of homeschooling, only seemed to almost stall with a case of senioritis.

As the last week of May came upon us, like a bolt of lightning on a clear blue sky day he was struck with a plan. Surprisingly the college he was considering was still taking applications for the fall semester and I was prompted to immediately get his transcript in order to be sent in to accompany his online application. Had I mentioned that I was also planting the garden, attempting to finish schooling with his four younger siblings, and preparing for an out of town wedding of his older brother the following week? Let’s just say that it felt like there was a bit of thunder rumbling after Mr. Lightning Bolt struck as I scrambled to hold my umbrella to keep some balance in my life.

No sooner had we unpacked our van from the wedding when his college acceptance letter arrived quickly followed by a huge smile on his face. But that was only the start of the process that felt familiar having been through it before with his older siblings. It was time to get into a college mindset with this son who only weeks before was planning on working at his dad’s business until further notice. Suddenly we needed to get his financial system set up with a checking/savings account, send in his enrollment confirmation check, fill out his college housing application, and begin looking into financial options to fund his college education.

And then another old familiar feeling struck as my mind abruptly realized what was happening. A son had grown up and was leaving home. Oh my! Had I prepared him well enough? Had he learned everything he needs to know to maneuver through the world without me? Would he be able to handle the transition into college life? Had he learned the necessary educational tools to tackle the demands of higher education? Did I need to review laundry details, remind him to take Emergen-C when illness was spreading through the dorms, reexamine budgeting, and give him tips on girls?

Just as suddenly my mind shifted gears as I realized that I needed to bypass all that other stuff as I considered one of those important things to a mother’s heart – the handmade Noah’s ark quilt that had covered his bed since he was a little boy and which matched his brother’s bed quilt since they were in bunk beds at that time. The quilt was worn and torn from much loving and snuggling under through the years. Even if it had been in good shape it would most likely not be traveling to college because it was a little kid’s kind of quilt. Guess I’d have another task to consider this summer as he definitely needed a new quilt to go with him for his dorm bed. A quilt pieced by mom with solid colors or plain designs that was more grown up looking for a young man heading off to college as he added a new piece to his life.. A quilt homemade by mom with a soft border that he could snuggle under after a late night of studying for exams and be reminded that there were people back home that loved him, prayed for him, and were only a phone call away. A quilt sewn by mom with love as I looked back over the struggles and challenges of his growing up years and witnessed God sewing together his strengths and championing his positive characteristics. A quilt hemmed by mom with prayer as my heart released him and his hopes, dreams, and future into the Lord’s faithful hands who will hem them into His purposes.

Yes, when our children hit that all grown up moment it often feels like it happened as suddenly as a lightning bolt and takes our hearts a bit to catch up. Yet their lives within our homes have been steadily pieced and sewn together over the years building a foundation that prepares them for God’s purposes in the future. We can completely trust God as He faithfully continues the process of quilting our child’s life into something beautifully suited for His glory. And isn’t that really the heart of the matter?

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy Dallmann’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from grade school age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.

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God Was Homeschooling ME

Everyone does chemistry in high school, right? As we thought about it, prayed about it, and considered the future, we decided that we were not called to do chemistry. There were other science courses that were just as challenging but more appropriate for my children’s interests and abilities that also kept our scholarship plans on track. This was a radical revelation.

The typical course of study is just that, typical. Our children, like your children, are not typical. They have callings and directions from God that transcend the typical. The only problem was that typical comforted me. It kept me from feeling too weird. As I have said many times in the past, I was homeschooling my children, now teenagers, but God was homeschooling me. Was there more than one way to do this thing called high school? Was there room in the landscape for an individualized program that not only fit our family but also prepared my children for the future? The answer was a resounding yes.

Christian homeschoolers serve a big God with a perfect plan. The testimonies from my life as a young person and student, wife, mother, and ultimately homeschooler all support this idea. If our minds direct our thoughts, we can end up in panic and worry. If our hearts direct them, we have access to peace and direction.  The worries of the world can assail us when it comes to high school. What about transcripts? What about college? What if my child doesn’t write as well as I think he should? The burdens of these responsibilities are heavy indeed. However, the real question is, are they your burdens?

The child you raised, the child you homeschooled was a stewardship opportunity. As God’s precious child, the Father remains responsible for the plans that He has made for him. (Psalm 139) He will bring along the perfect course, co-op, or tutor. It is His job to provide and your job to ask for that provision. God delights in meeting the needs of His people, so don’t give your children second best. Now is not the time to take the reins of control back from the Lord and try to do it yourself. He will see you through this stage as He has seen you through the others because He promises to do so. (I Thess. 5:24) The calling to homeschool was His, so the job of seeing it done is His as well.

ruth-and-debDebbie Strayer is a veteran educator, speaker, author and home educator. She enjoys spending time with her husband of thirty years and her grown children.

Dr. Ruth Beechick, too, has spent many years teaching and writing on education. She specializes in curriculum and in how children learn. She is mother of two and grandmother of four and loves working together with Debbie because they think alike on education matters. For more books and articles, see debbiestrayer.com.

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Following the Career Path Road, Oh My!

I don’t think I have met a homeschool family who takes the education of their children lightly.  I was no different.  As a new homeschool parent I read countless books on homeschooling.  I sought advice from other homeschooling parents, joined support groups, and scanned the Internet for information.  I researched curriculum, found activities, and filled my home with an abundance of educational books and games.  When my kids transitioned to their middle school years, my husband and I started looking into the college admission process.  I spent sleepless nights wondering how to keep the best records so our kids would have the best chance of success in life.

I can’t imagine I’m the only sleepless, information-seeking homeschool mom.  Why? Because I know as parents we want to raise our children to become happy and successful adults. The problem we sometimes struggle against is the idea that happy and successful doesn’t always mean academic, straight A’s, Harvard-bound.  Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that goal.  What is wrong is when our plans and goals for our kids become the only way.

Homeschooling is all about tailoring education to fit YOUR child and YOUR life, not squeezing your child into someone else’s mold of happy and successful.

So what do you do when you have a teen who has felt the Lord leading them in a specific direction and who feels compelled to train for their career while in high school?  Do we simply fill their days with school work and tell them they must wait until they are 18 years old to begin that journey, or do we take advantage of the unique opportunity homeschooling brings and allow them to train now?   What reasons should we look for when deciding to allow our teens to begin their training in high school?  How do we even begin to format that training alongside a typical high school course of study?  Further, what are the disadvantages?

Reasons for allowing your teenager to train for their career now?

  1. Your child has been passionate about an area and has been working/training for a period of time long enough to show you that they truly are serious about their desire.
  2. Their area of interest has a need for intense training at a younger age.
  3. There are compelling reasons for letting them explore their interest while still at home and under your shelter.   Sometimes this is because the industry they are entering will be harsh and it is better to enter younger with guidance than young with no guidance.

Disadvantages of allowing your teenager to begin training for their career now?

  1. The dreaded “S” word: socialization.  Typically this type of training combined with a normal high school course of study is a heavy load.  This means your student has a full schedule and less time for co-ops and outings with friends.
  2. Their schedule won’t look like other kids’ their age.  Friends will notice.  We had well-meaning friends question us about our daughter’s schedule.  Be gracious in your response, but don’t apologize for the path God has for your child.
  3. Slowly transitioning control over to your teenager can be hard.  Natural consequences are some of life’s biggest lessons, yet as a parent it is so hard to stand back and allow those to happen.   Let them!  Then, learn to step in and show your teen how to get back on track.  We all make mistakes.  Your teenager will too.  Let them know when they make a mistake that you are still their biggest fan!

What does this look like at a practical level?

The beauty of homeschooling is flexibility.  However, high school graduation comes with some requirements.  I began my daughter’s high school plan by listing out the basic graduation requirements for our state. Because we also wanted to keep the possibility of college open, I looked at the college admission requirements for the colleges she had expressed an interest in attending.   Next, I reviewed a typical course study for some Performing Arts High Schools since that is her area of interest.  My goal was to get an idea of the number of training and performance hours she would have received if she had attended.  I used this information as the building blocks for her high school course of study.

This information gives me a solid framework.   It also alleviates any guilt I feel when a well-meaning friend mentions the hours a week my daughter spends at dance, vocal, and acting classes.  I simply say that these are the hours my daughter would be spending if she were attending a Performing Arts High School.  The same idea would hold true if you used this formula for a teen who is training privately in a sport or in a specific area of music.  Be sure to keep track of the hours spent and keep a record of the training received.   Now that our framework is in place, how does our weekly schedule work?

We work my daughter’s high school coursework around her training schedule with the understanding that she needs to be from point A to point B in her coursework by a certain time period.  I allow her to make decisions regarding when she gets her schoolwork done.  We have a system where she is accountable to me in the same way an employee would be accountable to their boss for a job.  We meet on Monday mornings to assign schoolwork for the week.  She lets me know how last week went and we go over any assignments if needed and she turns in any assignments that were due.  If assignments are not completed, we discuss why.  We try to look for things we can adjust in her schedule and go on from there.  The most important thing is that you go with the needs of your teenager.  My daughter needs creative freedom and tends to work better with a flexible schedule.  I have another teen who is quite the opposite so I can say with confidence this schedule would be adapted for him.

The end goal is that your teenager (and mine) graduates ready to move forward into the world knowing the ins and outs of the career they wish to follow. Hopefully they have made progress because of the skills they were able to develop during their high school years.  Wherever the road leads, they will have skills that will help them through their adult life.

Leah Nieman is traveling the wild and wacky journey of parenting with her best friend and husband, Joel. They have 2 great teenagers who teach them daily that children truly are a blessing. On top of homeschooling, Leah is grateful to work with her friend Staley at CurrClick.com. CurrClick has been a tremendously rewarding endeavor for both Moms. It is especially rewarding to know that CurrClick has made homeschooling easier and more affordable for tens of thousands of parents all around the world.

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Through the Eyes of a High Schooler

When I was in grade school, homeschooling seemed “normal” enough. Sure I didn’t go to school, but all my peers thought it was cool. They loved the idea of homeschooling and a lot of my friends who went to school actually would ask their parents to homeschool them as well. Then along came the high school years. Many of my friends suddenly thought homeschooling wasn’t “cool.” To make matters worse, I began getting questions from adults about homeschooling through high school. Why would anyone homeschool through high school? What about Prom, homecoming, and football games? How can a homeschooled high school student have a social life? These are just a few of the questions I get. Surprisingly, I have found that the answers give me “normal” experiences while allowing me to experience all the advantages homeschooling offers.

If you know what you want to do after graduation, homeschooling can be the best option. Many careers require some early training. In these cases, homeschooling allows flexibility and time for that training. For example, I decided early on that I wanted to go into the arts, mainly theater. Homeschooling allows time for me to train more than the average teen in school would have. I am able to adjust my school schedule so I have time to take dance classes in the morning, have voice lessons, choreograph shows, and prepare for auditions. I am also able to integrate my school and my training. For example, if I have to write a report for English, I will often pick a topic related to the performing arts. I also am able to adjust my school schedule to work with my training. In school, for me there is a point A and a point B. The goal is to get to point B in a timely manner and to do well.

When you make the decision to homeschool in high school, it’s natural to wonder about stuff like Prom, Homecoming and football games. I have found I have still been able to do all these things. I went to a high school homecoming my freshman year with some friends who attend a local high school. I go to football games with friends. Our local homeschool group hosts a Prom each spring. So be at ease, future homeschooled high school student. Opportunities to share in these high school activities do exist!

What about friends and socializing? It turns out that all is not lost at all. If you are part of a homeschool co-op or group you will probably have lots of opportunities. If not, you can still have plenty of opportunities. You might just need to put in some extra effort to make new friends. If you are involved a church youth group or any kind of class, you will have tons of socialization time. This is not to say that you won’t struggle at all. All high school students struggle with friends from time to time. The important thing is to make sure you make time for friends. Try to do something with at least one friend every weekend. Meet at Starbucks for coffee, go to see a movie, or maybe even go out to eat with a group. Don’t forget to connect with the people you are around all week. For instance, I have dance classes which keep me busy as well as musicals in my community. I am also currently choreographing a show for a local high school. It’s true; some of us aren’t surrounded by teens all the time like students who attend a formal high school.

However, if you think about it, not everyone who attends high school has friends. Some teenagers suffer with loneliness even though they are surrounded by people eight hours a day, five days a week! You can be surrounded by people and not be connected to anyone. You have to be willing to put time and effort into a friendship. I promise if you try, you will find friends.

Homeschooling through high school is a big decision for anyone to make. Don’t let questions from others influence your decision. They can be annoying and even hurtful at times, but can also help confirm to you that homeschooling is the right choice. The important thing to remember is that you are doing what is best for YOU. There will be ups and downs along the way, but you can be sure that if you choose to homeschool though high school, you won’t have to miss out on a thing.

Taylor Nieman is a 16 year old, homeschooled High School Sophomore.  She is heavily involved in the arts, specifically in dance, music, and theater, and is training with the hopes this will open the door for future career opportunities.  Between balancing school, lessons, and rehearsals, Taylor loves working with underprivileged children and hopes to further continue that specific area of ministry.

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What They DON’T Learn in School, But Can’t Live Without

“My son, do not lose sight of these—
keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

Proverbs 3:21-23. (ESV)

No matter where your teen is heading after school (higher education, the military, the workforce, missions, etc.) there are things he’ll need to know beyond reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic. Proverbs calls them “wisdom,” “discretion,” and “understanding.” Today we often called them “Life Skills.” I’m convinced that life skills are the most important and most under-taught subject in America. I was greatly blessed with wise parents who took every opportunity to share their wisdom and make sure I was prepared for adulthood. In this article I’d like to share with you seven principals no teen should leave home without and simple ways to impart them.

Principal #1: Be a Good Steward of Money
Teens like money. Most teens even have some! But very few know how to use it wisely. The vast majority of what teens hear about money is “SPEND IT”—a message that usually results in short-lived “toys,” fast food, and empty wallets. Teens need to learn how to:

  • Set and live within a budget
  • Tithe
  • Save money
  • Read a financial statement
  • Balance a checkbook
  • Pay bills and taxes
  • Shop for good deals
  • Get or stay out of debt
  • Understand insurance policies

If your teenager doesn’t have a checking and savings account, open one soon. Conveniently, most banking can be done online these days. Teens need to know how much money they have, where it’s coming from, and where it’s going. The sooner they start taking ownership of their finances the better. If they have an allowance or a job, let them start paying their own bills. Teens often suddenly develop much more frugal tastes and habits as they start counting the cost of their clothes, cell phone plans, gas, and entertainment.

Fortunately, there’s a wealth of information about biblical handling of finances out there today. I highly recommend resources from Larry Burkett (www.crown.org), Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com), Focus on the Family (www.family.org), and Math-U-See’s Stewardship Math program (www.mathusee.com). The Rich Dad, Poor Dad series, while not Christian, is also worthwhile.

Principal #2: Thrive on Your Own
Eventually, your kids will be living on their own. There’s no need for them to live on Raman Noodles and come home bearing bags of dirty clothes. Part of being an adult means taking care of your own mess! Your teens should know how to:

  • Do laundry
  • Cook balanced meals
  • Perform simple home/yard maintenance tasks
  • Clean and organize living space
  • Drive a car, check its oil and tire pressure, change a tire

All these things are pretty basic, but it’s amazing how many college freshmean seem utterly incapable of any of them. My brother and I began helping with laundry as soon as we were tall enough to reach the dial.

Principal #3: Make Plans
Teens are notorious for wasting time and then complaining that they don’t have enough of it. A little planning and thinking ahead go a long way toward reducing stress and keeping life under control. As you teach them how to plan, remind them that their plans affect other people too! Teens should practice:

  • Making a calendar and keeping a schedule
  • Prioritizing time, especially time in the Word
  • Setting measurable and achievable goals
  • Organizing an event
  • Planning a trip

Encourage your teen to pick out and use a day planner. Also, let them be involved in making the family’s plans like vacations, church events, or field trips. Check out 500 Ways to Organize Your Child by Cheryl R. Carter for a plethora of ideas. (Her other books are great too.)

Principal #4: Act Like a Pro
Learning to speak and act professionally, relay important information, and do research are crucial skills in the business world. Teens should develop the following skills:

  • Writing business and formal letters
  • Professional phone manners
  • Finding contact information for an individual or company
  • Filling out applications
  • Using a library
  • Developing Power Point presentations
  • Doing interviews (both asking and answering questions)

How they present themselves to people who might hire them, grant them scholarships, lease them an apartment, or help them find information goes a long way toward accomplishing their goals.

Principal #5: Be a Peacemaker
People are confusing sometimes, and it takes a lot of wisdom to know how to handle friends, authorities, and enemies. Kindness, putting oneself in someone else’s shoes, and clear communication can diffuse hard situations before they happen. Through prayer, practice, and talking with you, teens should learn how to:

  • Discern someone’s tone and motive
  • Handle a confrontation biblically
  • Respond to authorities respectfully (especially when you disagree!)
  • Listen to what others are saying
  • Rebuff negative peer pressure
  • Discourage a flirt
  • Encourage a friend

There’s too much to be said about this topic for an exhaustive list of important skills here, but you get the idea. I do recommend Focus on the Family (www.family.org) and Peacemaker Ministries (www.peacemaker.net) for excellent resources and training.

Principal #6: Take Every Thought Captive
Teens today hear more conflicting messages today then ever. The need for critical thinking and discernment is huge. Through conversation and analysis, teens need to:

  • Determine the messages in movies or songs
  • Read reviews and understand the reviewer’s worldview
  • Discern a principale (something in scripture) from a method of applying it
  • Articulate an opinion and support it with logical evidence

Before watching a movie, look it up on www.PluggedIn.com. Take time to discuss the film afterward. You’d be surprised at the worldviews you can unearth with a few simples questions like “what does this say about God, man, or the world?”

Principal #7: Take Care of Your Body
Some teens take to good health naturally, while others need to develop this discipline. It’s easy to eat whatever and whenever you want, stay sedentary all day, and stay up until all hours—but those aren’t good ideas. Practice:

  • Eating well
  • Exercising regularly
  • Getting a good night’s rest

Teens can either develop a healthy lifestyle now or work hard to correct their mistakes later. You may want to set goals together and make a friendly competition out of it!

These are skills your teens will be developing for the rest of their lives. The more they learn now, the better. Of course, no one is ever “fully prepared” for adulthood. All of us are still learning!  Remember, your teens will learn best if they see you modeling these behaviors in front of them. Take time to explain, demonstrate, and build these skills a day at a time. Start anywhere and enjoy the journey!

Tyler Hogan is the Vice-President of Development for Bright Ideas Press. He lives in Dover, Delaware with his very patient wife, Helen, and their adorable baby, Kaylee. He and his wife are both Homeschool Graduates. He has spoken, performed, and taught classes around the world on homeschooling, the arts, and worldview issues. In his “spare time” he teaches classes for homeschoolers, performs street mime, reads good books, drinks tea, and over-analyses movies. He has a BA in Theatre from Belhaven University, and is currently working on his MA from Covenant Theological Seminary.

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What Teens Wish Their Parents Knew

Ever wish you had x-ray vision to know what was going through your teens’ minds? Guess what? Teens wish the same thing!

I asked a bunch of teens (okay, I put a message out on Facebook!) what they wished their parents knew about high school. I polled public school students, homeschool students, private school students, and a few graduates. This quote about sums up what most public and private school students think:

“I wish my parents could go through a week in my school, just to see how much has changed since they were in school.”

The single most important thing to all teens was that their parents trust them to make the right choices and to learn from their mistakes. Teens, no matter where they go to school, think socialization is important; not one of them said they had too many activities! Academically, the grass is always greener on the other side. Public school teens think their teachers do a horrible job of preparing them for tests or moving on to more advanced subjects. Private and public school students think that the homework is insane, but are worried about scholarships, GPA and credit requirements, and getting into the right colleges. Homeschool students want to do what they want to do (writing and drawing got the most votes) and not be bothered with all the other stuff. Some homeschool teens thought what they were doing was boring and wished their parents would challenge them more. Most homeschool students loved having their parents teach them and being able to work at their own pace. One homeschooler appreciated being able to talk to a more knowledgeable teacher in a dual-enrollment college class.

Almost all teens talked more about the social aspect of high school than the academic aspect. Middle school pretty much stinks unless you’re on the football team or cheerleading squad. Sadly, the outright making fun of kids in middle school tends to turn into spreading nasty rumors about them in high school. That’s not any easier to deal with. Prom is a big deal, in case you parents were wondering. So is the fact that girls think guys are jerks at that age. Sorry if you’re a parent of a guy, but that was the consensus! One girl (public school) poured out her heart, and rather than trying to summarize it briefly, I’m going to quote her (with improved capitalization and punctuation).

“I also wish my parents knew of the all the different maturity levels of kids in my school that I come in contact with, in classes, in the hallways, etc. Most people (ex. me and my friends) know how to deal with situations because we face them every day; we know what’s right and wrong. But, there is so much peer pressure to break the rules and do what they know is wrong. Now it’s more than just getting a gold star taken away or being put in time out; it’s breaking the law and going to jail and getting expelled. All of these things can have a major effect on you and your life. I wish my parents knew how cruel some people can be and how hard it is to make friends that you can trust and keep a good reputation. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you could end up being the victim of rumors. The thing is, the rumors are almost never true, but it doesn’t matter because people will spread them around just to have something to talk about. I know a girl at my school that is a very nice girl and she’s had rumors spread about her all year. The most recent was that she’s pregnant by some senior and that she sleeps around. People treat her horribly and you can see how upset it makes her. She’s gone through a lot and dealt with all of the rumors and I look up to her for being so brave/strong about it; I know I would be devastated. I wish my parents knew how hard it is—in the social aspect of things just as much as the educational part.”

Regarding teen/parent relationships, most teens wished their parents didn’t expect them to be perfect. They also said that when they did make mistakes, grounding them for the rest of their lives only makes them resentful; they’d rather discuss what happened and maybe learn from your mistakes. Yep, that means they wish you’d talk to them, too. One girl suggested that maybe teens wanted to share more with their parents but were afraid to. On the flip side, most homeschool teens said they were quite close to their parents and could talk to them about most (if not all) issues. Listen up, parents: several teens wished their dads would be more understanding. Teens are looking for affirmation and trust. Can we parents deliver? Teens want to know what their parents went through. Are we talking? Teens want to talk; they want their parents to hear what they have to say. Are we listening?

Bethany has been married for 16 years, homeschooling for 9 years, and organizing forever. She homeschools her two girls, grade 6 and grade 10, in North Carolina. She is also a partner in Codex Publishing, publisher of The Tutor and classic book reprints. When she isn’t homeschooling or driving the family taxi, Bethany enjoys reading, music, church activities, editing, writing, history, and keeping up with friends. 

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10 Benefits of Homeschool Co-ops For High School Students

There are many benefits of being a part of a homeschool co-op. I have been a member of a homeschool co-op for five years, and my most valued benefits have been the friends that I have made and their support of my homeschooling efforts. However, a homeschool co-op can be very beneficial for a high school student also.

1. Socialization
The most apparent benefit of a homeschool co-op is socialization. For years the homeschool movement has been criticized for the lack of opportunity to socialize. There are homeschoolers who are concerned about social interaction, and they seek out opportunities for their teenagers to be a part of group activities. Thus we see the growth of homeschool sports leagues, classes, clubs, and, of course, our focus, homeschool co-ops. These group activities balance the time spent learning alone or with the family. Most co-ops meet once or twice a week, therefore giving students a “taste” of group learning without being overwhelming.

2. Friends
My neighbor and fellow homeschooler, Kirsten, was concerned about her oldest daughter making friends. I was so pleased to tell Kirsten about our homeschool co-op and the wonderful group of friendly high school students we had there. They visited the next week and joined immediately. I was thrilled when two weeks later, I saw Kirsten’s daughter being hugged good-bye by other teenage girls. I looked over at my friend and said, “It’s working!” and she wholeheartedly agreed.

3. Learning from Another Adult
The other parents who volunteer as teachers and helpers in our co-op serve as role models, mentors, and teachers. I think it is very healthy for children to have adults they respect outside their own family. Sunday school teachers and Bible study leaders serve this role, and so can co-op teachers. I realize that I am not my teenager’s only teacher. Some day soon, my children will learn from college professors, and they will be exposed to trainers in the workplace. I want them to appreciate the different personalities that teachers possess. I also want my children to understand that they can learn from different types of people.

4. Group Interaction
When my daughter approached high school, she wanted to discuss literature with someone other than me. She was right; it is awfully difficult to have group discussions without a decent-sized gathering! Co-ops provide a wonderful opportunity for your student to engage in group discussions and other classes. Our co-op has held several classes that work best in a group setting, including literature discussion, public speaking, gym games, and team building. These types of learning opportunities cannot be done as well in a home setting, but they work beautifully in a homeschool co-op.

5. Special Skills
When I joined our co-op, I found a blessing in the Spanish teacher, Mrs. Tann, who majored in Spanish in college and is a volunteer teacher at our co-op. My daughter, Emily, had been learning Spanish from a computer program. Although she was doing well and making good grades on the quizzes, her Spanish greatly improved after starting Mrs. Tann’s class. I noticed that she started speaking a few phrases and naming objects in Spanish. Mrs. Tann has Spanish skills that neither my husband nor I possess.

6. Encouragement to Continue Homeschooling
One co-op director that I know believes that if a co-op helps even one mother to continue homeschooling, then all the work has been worthwhile. Specifically, she tries to support parents of high school students, many of whom drop out of homeschooling because the subject material grows more difficult at the high school level. Our co-op tries to help these families by offering high school classes in foreign language, upper math, and advanced lab science. Other co-ops in our area offer fun subjects such as photography, yearbook, drama, and art to keep kids interested.

7. Mothers share burdens
Of course, it is not just the students who benefit from a co-op; their mothers need encouragement also. Emulating another homeschool co-op, my co-op offers a room for mothers to “Chew and Chat,” where we can eat and talk. More importantly, we share each other’s burdens there. Although we sometimes offer suggestions and new ideas, we often are just a sounding board. Mothers feel free to share their homeschooling struggles in our Chew and Chat room, because this group understands them without condemnation.

8. Exchange information
While co-op mothers may share burdens, they also exchange information. One of the best things about a co-op is the wonderful exchange of ideas. I loaned my calculus books and videos to another family after my daughter had finished with them. The books were very expensive and I was blessed to be a blessing to a cash-strapped family.

9. Fun
In addition to the educational benefits of group learning, shared experience, and encouragement, co-ops can be a lot of fun! Your students should have creative teachers and see co-op learning as enjoyable! Even though my daughter, Sarah, dislikes snakes and bugs, she admits that her biology dissection teacher makes the class interesting. Sarah is learning that a trouble shared is a troubled halved. She also seems to have exciting stories to tell about class each day.

10. Special Events
Many co-ops offer fun activities such as field trips and special events. I have seen co-ops offer talent shows, plays, and recitals. One co-op is starting a 4-H club, while another has an American Heritage Girls troop and a Boy Scout troop. Going beyond these activities, some co-ops offer days at the beach, pool, park, or ski slopes! The list is endless, and all in the name of fun and learning.

The benefits of belonging to a homeschool co-op include, among others, group learning, experienced teachers, encouragement, and fun. I hope you gain all these advantages and more.

This article is an excerpt from Homeschool Co-ops: How to Start Them, Run Them and Not Burn Out by Carol Topp (Aventine Press, 2008).

carolCarol L. Topp, CPA (www.HomeschoolCPA.com) is a homeschooling mother of two daughters and is the author of Homeschool Co-ops: How to Start Them, Run Then and Not Burn Out. She enjoys using her accounting skills helping homeschool organizations as well as serving on her homeschool co-op board.

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A+ Job Skills for Generation Y

My teens recently toured backstage at a Broadway theater. A lead actor from the play Wicked gave this advice to aspiring young actors,”Work hard. If you can get in your mind that the world doesn’t owe you a job or money, you will be ahead in the job hunt.” He went on to tell about his disappointment with the new generation’s lack of motivation to put in extra effort. “They want high salaries without the long hours of work.”

Our teens are part of Generation Y, or the Millennial Generation. They are defined as young people born between 1979 and 1994. They are digitally savvy and used to constant contact and instant feedback. Whether we agree or not, today’s younger generation has a reputation of believing they are entitled to high salaries and interesting jobs that won’t interfere with their personal lives. They are also characterized as having a lack of respect for the older generation.

Although generation gaps have always existed, today’s gap is so wide that the young people are called Technical Natives while those in the older generation are known as Technical Immigrants. Most middle-aged adults can text and e-mail, but if they want to do much else, they must find a teenager to help. Computer lingo seems to be the native tongue of our youth.

These differences impact teenagers as they seek to enter the work force. Strengths in the younger generation can become liabilities without job skill training. Never has this teaching been so important. The unemployment rate is over 10% for adults. In some places, it is double that for teens. Competition for after school jobs is steep. The jobs will go to those who know how to conduct themselves in an interview and how to interact with older employers.

I recently spoke with an area McDonald’s upper-level manager. She agreed that today’s youth come to the job with certain gaps in their skills. “They are very technically savvy, but they’re not used to manual labor. I have to teach them how to work hard. This generation requires more motivation than the young people of the past.”

I asked her if she had advice for teens as they go out on a job interview. “They need to remember that presentation is everything. How they dress, speak, and fill out the application are still as important as ever. The younger generation does not care about appearances, but they need to remember that they’re interviewing with an older generation that does value professional attire and behavior.”

What we consider basic common sense for on-the-job behavior still needs to be taught to our children. We will do our children a huge favor by reviewing job search skills while addressing specific problem areas pertaining to the Generation Y mentality.

Search the Internet for desirable employee traits and you will find promptness, reliability, honesty, and friendliness mentioned often. What do these qualities look like in the interview and early weeks on the job? Following is a list of pointers to go over with your young adult:

Talking Point for Teens:

  • Dress professionally when you go out and apply for jobs. Different jobs require different attire. You would look odd applying at a food service job wearing a suit. The best rule to follow is to dress a little better for the interview than you would for a day on the job. Make sure your clothes are neat and clean. Do not wear t-shirts with offensive slogans. Flip-flops and tattered jeans are cool but not for interviews or work.
  • Be prepared to fill out applications. Have a list of references and their contact information. It is best to discuss this with the references beforehand and have their approval before listing their names. If you have worked previously, have the employer’s address and phone number. Don’t sell yourself short. If you have experience through scouts or volunteer projects, list those under experience. You want to have your social security card with you when you apply.
  • Practice interviewing. Hold a practice interview with your parents so you will be more prepared. Many Websites offer typical interview questions that you can use. Several teens and their parents could get together for mock interviews.
  • Be on time. Be a little early, but do not be late.
  • Turn off your cell phone during the interview or better yet, leave it in the car. Although your peers perceive phone calls or texts as acceptable interruptions when you talk, it is a job interview killer.
  • Good old fashioned manners never go out of style. A firm hand shake while looking the potential employer in the eye are rare among young people. Thank the interviewer and consider a follow-up thank you note. Remember, they have done you a favor by taking time to interview you. You are not doing them a favor by coming in to apply.
  • Follow up with a polite phone call if you have not heard from them in the time they stated. If you are turned down, thank them for the chance to apply and interview. Don’t burn any bridges; you don’t know what opportunities may open up in the future.

You’ve landed a job, now what? Certain skills will help you keep it.

  • Always arrive on time with an attitude that says, “I am ready to work.”
  • Remember that employers have paid for your full attention during work hours. It is not time to talk on the phone or text. You are hired to work, not visit with other employees.
  • Never complain about your job, boss, or employer in front of customers or other employees. It will usually come back to haunt you.
  • Use sick days sparingly. You don’t want to gain a reputation as being undependable.
  • Address customers with friendliness and respect and look them in the eye.
  • Be willing to work hard at your job and learn new skills. Be a self-starter and one who can finish projects without constant oversight.

With pointers from parents, practice interviews, and a warning list of job taboos, I believe our teens will be in high demand in the workplace.

What experiences have you had in your family with working teens from Generation Y? What advice would you add?

Resource List:

Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris

Young Person’s Career Skills Handbook

Websites:

therebelution.com – Alex and Brett Harris

About.com – Career Planning – Teen Job Skills

Jist Publishing – America’s Career Publishers

Job Interview Strategies for Teens Part I

Job Interview Strategies for Teens Part II

Rhodema lives the parenting adventure with Calvin, her college sweetheart. They have two adult daughters and two teenagers still at home, a girl and a boy. Their homeschool style is eclectic with a great love of living history books. Rhodema teaches women’s Bible studies and is a MOPS speaker. Her blog for moms is Herding Worms.

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