Homeschooling high school is full of focused, directed study; however, I do try to provide experiences for our kids that are really, truly fun. Each family is different and your idea of fun is going to be totally different than ours, but I’ll share ours with the hopes that you are inspired. Leave a comment or link back to your blog so that we can see the fun things that you do!

We’ve been very fortunate to have yearly drama camps in our area. These have consisted of a yearly high school One Act Play Competition, a week long drama camp, and a weekly Shakespeare Camp. Each of these experiences are quite different, and kids of all types are drawn to them because of the camaraderie and good, clean fun that is to be had. The initial drama camp (which morphed into the yearly competition) started with a group of homeschooling parents hosting a drama camp in their back-yard several years ago. Now it encompasses around 100 kids a summer, 2 nights of performances, and happy kids!

• Politics! We’ve been involved in campaigning since moving to our current state. We’ve had the opportunity to participate in local, state, and national elections and our kids get the fact that they have political clout even before they can legally vote! TeenPact has been a huge part of our political endeavors and opened the doors to a myriad of possibilities, including free Leadership Institute Training. Our kids have been flown across country to participate in political campaigns because of the contacts they’ve made through TeenPact. The “alumni events” for TeenPact students are terrific as well. Two of our older kids have both gone to Washington, D.C., for a week long walking tour of the city and to rub shoulders with notables such as Newt Gingrich.

• The Challenge Program, run by the Timothy group, is a male only camp run by IRL great friends of ours, former Air Force Major, Bruce Stansbury. If your son wants a physical and spiritual challenge, he should check it out.

• This might be an odd thing to add to the list of fun, but my older kids currently love their work situation. They are feeding baby calves one full day a weekend. My oldest son also hays with a friend of ours a couple of times each summer. It’s not regular work, but it’s outside, very physical, and pays well. Check out the opportunities where you live and talk to other parents. We have found out about all of our kids’ work sites through word-of-mouth.

• Create classes that you know your kids are interested in and invite others to join. This year I am teaching Creative Writing for high schoolers. My son is intensely interested in writing and has some serious goals surrounding it. The class gives him structure, gives me an opportunity to direct and encourage his work, and supplies the added benefit of getting lots of other kids involved in something we love.

• Do something physical. Anyone who’s been to any TeenPact event knows that Ultimate Frisbee is the official sport. Several kids in our areas organized a regular Ultimate Game after their first state class and 5 years later it’s still going strong. Homeschool high schoolers meet once a week, spring through fall, at a local park to play till its dark outside.

• Those same kids also go ball room dancing twice a month. Contact a local dance studio and see if they’ll provide a discount to homeschoolers with lessons to boot. Our kids continue the fun of the dance at the local Dairy Queen.

• Find cool field trips. This year our teens will go rock climbing, take a field trip through EROS, and a local radio station, visit a museum, have the opportunity to do the sculpture walk with an area artist and more. I’m sure your city has great opportunities for teens.

There are obviously lots of other ways for high schoolers to have fun, even while they are working hard academically. What do your teens do?

Lisa Nehring has been homeschooling her 5 kids (2 of whom have graduated) for the past 20 years. She holds Master’s degrees in Human Development and in Marriage and Family Therapy. Lisa has been involved in creating co-ops, class days, and camp experiences for homeschoolers, and was instrumental in bringing TeenPact to South Dakota. She writes regularly for the Homeschool Village as well as other magazines, websites and newsletters. Lisa and her husband of 25 years, David, a Christian Psychologist and Biblical Counselor, speak on marriage and parenting, education and homeschooling. Lisa blogs regularly about “crafting the extraordinary from the ordinary” at Golden Grasses.

Based on conversations I’ve had recently, the idea of homeschooling high school scares a lot parents, even parents who are otherwise committed to homeschooling. I understand why. I was nervous and intimidated when we began as well. It seemed a mighty responsibility to prepare my child for college and then the wider world. And I had to create a transcript to document everything on top of it!

While some families choose to enroll their child in the local high school, there are others who may wish to continue homeschooling, but they are unsure if they can do so successfully. To those parents, I want to encourage you and say, yes, you can do this! Like anything there will be some ups and downs, but homeschooling through the high school years is entirely possible.

Here are some things I wish I had known ahead of time. It would have significantly reduced my stress during my daughter’s freshman year and made me a lot more fun to be around.

1. Relax! The fact that your child has begun high school doesn’t really change much if you’ve been homeschooling all along. This threw me for a while. I thought because my daughter had started high school that we had to change the way we had been happily and successfully homeschooling. I grieved a bit because everything seemed to be different and secretly wished my daughter would announce she had no intention of going to college because then we could go back to our previous practices. It took me a while to realize that just because we were being a bit more intentional, it didn’t have to change everything.

2. Different is OK. Just as homeschooling in the early years looks different from traditional school, high school also looks different. A transcript can still be made and college acceptances attained even if the path to get there looks different from traditional high school. I did check to see what constituted a standard high school curriculum and we included it in a way that worked for our family. Often this difference is one of free time. My children have a lot more time to pursue their own interests and usually end up delving into subjects far more deeply than if I had just assigned them something.

3. Find mentors. If you find there is a subject that you want your child to study (or your child wants to study) that you do not feel capable of teaching, find someone who can. Just because you are homeschooling does not mean that the homeschooling parent is responsible for all teaching. Over our years of homeschooling high school, we have done a variety of things… co-ops, trading teaching with another homeschool parent, formal classes, informal tutoring, and on-line/video classes. You don’t have to teach it all by yourself.

4. Keep records. This one is very important if you plan on making a transcript, so I’ll repeat it. Keep records! Or better yet, have your student keep records, which is what I do. I start by having my 7th and 8th graders begin keeping track of what they do, what they read, places they visit, anything that could be considered learning… so basically everything. As a result, by high school they are fairly adept at what needs to be done. (Do I need to mention that I keep an eye on this record keeping to be sure it is getting done?) Because we create classes backwards (more on this later), it is important to keep track of all these things. Important because it makes the transcript process easier, not because you or your child will have failed if it isn’t done properly. So, if you go to a museum, write it down. If your son watched a documentary on WWII because it was interesting, write it down. If you daughter listened to an entire Great Courses lecture on linguistics for fun, write it down.

5. Transcripts are not as scary as they seem. Really. I did my daughter’s in an evening and I’ve known other parents who have had their student make their own transcript. There are plenty of templates available on the internet and much is just a matter of filling in the blanks. Transcripts are also a bit more flexible than I first believed and there are different ways of creating them. For us, because of our use of non-traditional learning, we created a transcript which listed coursework by subject and not by year. Sometimes the hours and work for one credit would be spread over the course of four years, so it made more sense to organize it this way.

For some classes we looked back at everything she had done and created the name of the class after the fact. For instance, she learned to run the soundboard at church and volunteered on a weekly basis doing this. Also, the paid sound technician knew of her interest and spent extra time teaching her, gave her extra reading material, and took her (and the rest of the volunteers) to his place of work so they could study acoustics. All this together added up to enough hours and work to give her two credits in sound technology.

Other classes, such as economics, were more traditional. We bought a textbook and she worked through it. One textbook equals one credit. In the end, we had to leave several credits off her transcript. When your child is used to learning all the time, those credits rack up fairly easily.

6. They will have friends. The arguments about socialization in high school are pretty much the same as for earlier grades. Our children make friends from all areas of their lives. No, they won’t have the traditional high school social activities, but my children have created their own activities. Some of the events they planned have included a giant murder mystery party which involved extensive costumes and a buffet dinner; putting on plays in our front yard; and making sandwiches and coffee and going downtown together to distribute them to homeless people. If you don’t live in a large urban area as we do, you may need to help your child seek out other homeschooled students, but they are out there.

7. Enjoy your child. These are most likely the last four years your child will be home full-time, make the most of them. What I regret most about that first year we did high school was that I just wasn’t much fun. I was so concerned that we do everything right and took it so seriously that just enjoying my daughter didn’t factor into my plans. There was no joy in our learning. Worry will do that. Don’t let worry over college (and it always seems to be over college) steal your joy.

Elizabeth Curry is on year 14 of homeschooling her 9 children (with #10 arriving via China at some point next year). Devoted bookworms all, it’s not surprising that much of the learning that happens centers around whatever chapter book is being read. When she isn’t taking care of children or reading, she enjoys sewing, cooking, and writing. Her life of following Jesus with many children in the Big, Ugly House is chronicled at www.ordinary-time.blogspot.com .

A vision for the future

Not only is your vision of your child’s future critical, but your child’s vision of his/her own future is critical.   An even more important question is, do those visions match?   During the elementary and perhaps even the middle school years, you might have decided for your children what they would learn and how they would learn it.   If you have not done it before, the high school years are a perfect opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with your budding young adult about his dreams and desires.   Out of that discussion, the result might be a completely different academic plan than you alone would devise.   Personally, I still believe that even if your child is not college-bound, he should still receive an academically rigorous education.   Yet, there is plenty of room to build in a student’s interest, either through electives, extra-curricular activities, or a shift in an academic course to fit the need.   As one example, who says history has to focus strictly on the world or on America?   If your student wants to learn more about the diversity of the African continent, that study can become history, geography, and sociology, all in one!

More than a vehicle for you to plan, this vision discussion is also an opportunity for your child to co-create his schedule, and to a larger extent, begin to shape his life.   Goal setting is important; self-awareness of how he learns is important; managing the increasing number of demands on his time—school, extra-curricular, work, social, etc.—is important.    And though there is advice you can offer, you cannot “teach” these fundamental life lessons.   The best you can do as a parent is to create the environment for that process to occur, and then observe carefully so that your prayers hit the mark.

Friendship with a public school counselor or other resource

I know that the homeschooling community is often pitted as little David attempting to defeat the mighty Goliath-like machine that is public education.  There are some realities, however, that call us to pay attention to public school happenings, even if we do not fully embrace all that public schools have to offer.   One of those realities is the wealth of programs and opportunities that public schools know about and we sometimes do not.  Our high school student has been able to take advantage of several opportunities that we would not have known about outside of hearing about them from a public school counselor.   Even homeschool communications loops that consider themselves well in tune with the public school community can fail to send information that does not pertain to the primary audience and/or interests of that loop (programs for racial/ethnic minorities or special needs opportunities, as examples).

There is one caveat to seeking out alliances with public school resources: if that resource will in any way undermine or derail your homeschooling efforts, you are better off without it.   There are enough forces working against you in what you are trying to accomplish; why invite more problems?   I know that, personally, I have had to defend our decision to homeschool long before I felt confident in that decision, and I absolutely refuse to allow any outside “help” to attempt to plant seeds of doubt.

Flexibility and adaptability

I once heard a “take-off” of the Beatitudes, if you will, that I reference frequently, as it often puts life in perspective for me: ‘Blessed are the flexible; they will never be bent out of shape.’   Here is another reality of home educating your blossoming adult: whether leaving home for college, the military, or working a job, whatever is done in your home must conform to what others expect to see on an application.   Your six years of raising chickens from eggs to etouffee as an unschooling activity must be crafted into ‘Behavior and Management of Domestic Animals’ or ‘Introduction to Poultry Science’ when it lands on a transcript.   The years your student spent building his own car have to be described in a way that depicts intelligence as well as ingenuity to a potential employer.

Having stated that, as a parent, you will need to adapt to the environment that will become the child’s environment.   For a college-bound student, that means partnering with the local school system to gather information about standardized tests, to learn of any college fairs, and mark dates of a number of other college-related activities.   Do not look at this as a crushing blow to your “rise against the machine.”    Though the apostle Paul took pride in his Jewish heritage, he also used his Roman citizenship to his advantage when necessary.   His ability to adapt and mold his God-given gifts extended his ministry to what was then most of the known world.

A sense of balance

Undoubtedly, high school years are about preparation.   But if this preparation phase is not put into perspective, your student might be too exhausted to enjoy the fruits of his labor.    Any Charlotte Mason enthusiast can start a discussion about narration, living books, and nature studies.   Where Charlotte Mason starts her discussions, if you read her six-book series, is with rest and nutrition.   This young person who may easily be larger than you needs to know how to nourish his body as well as his mind.    His list of foods to eat should not be subcategorized according to “when Mom’s not around.”    Though high school might be late to begin this training (or better yet, to role model it), good habits can last a lifetime.   In our home, I often beat our teenagers to bed.   I know that our oldest daughter, for various reasons, does not always get the rest she needs; I know she often drags in the morning from a lack of sleep the night before.   But every few days I see her take a long afternoon nap, much like she did as a smaller child.   Though it is not ideal, I take joy in the fact that she does not drink coffee, she does not reach for those overly caffeinated drinks, nor does she try to fight her body’s clues.   She goes to sleep.

Prayer will guide us in how to cover these intangibles, and they are necessary building blocks for developing a self-sufficient adult.  Sometimes as a matter of fact and sometimes in sheer frustration, I will tell our daughter that I am the last teacher she will have who loves her and genuinely wants to see her perform well.   Though that may not be entirely true, I can safely say that no professor will be her mom, with all that the role entails.   She found that out this summer in a way that can only be described as a test sent by God.    She participated in a dual-enrollment program at our local community college.   Her first professor was chronologically older, more seasoned in her career, and generally, more maternal in her teaching style.   Our daughter thrived in her class.   Sadly, her second teacher was almost a polar opposite, in our daughter’s opinion.   Our daughter struggled mightily to receive average scores in this class.   At a mid-week church service, one of our pastors talked about the power of words, saying that someone in the audience needed to go home and write a letter.    The Holy Spirit began to quicken my spirit with the thought that our daughter also needed to write a letter—the letter “A”—on her next paper.   As parents, we prayed over her and anointed her hands with oil.   Her next grade was worse, which could have easily left us feeling defeated, but there was a lesson here as well.   God’s time is not our time.  Approximately one week after this act of anointing her hands, our daughter texted me during class one day.   “I got an ‘A-‘,” she wrote.   With a Rhoda-like unbelief, I assumed this was a quiz grade, but she informed me that this was a paper; it counted for more points, and literally her increased her overall average by one letter grade.

We still have one week to see the final outcome of her grade in this second class, but I believe God to do a work that only He can.   Yes, we enrolled her with certain academic goals in mind, but as this situation developed, our prayers changed.   We want a divine reversal of her grades, but more important to us is that our daughter learns that God will perfect all things that concern her.   No grade and no instructor are too small for the Lord, and we want her to see God move.   We could be the proverbial “helicopter parents,” but she will need to learn to fight for herself.   While we await the outcome, I am at peace that we have all learned something this summer.   And I am equally at peace that this blossoming young lady is becoming the woman God wants her to be—not only because of her academic studies, but because the Lord is helping us to gently coach her in the true must-haves.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based historycurriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.

Having a lot of children and meeting all of their needs is definitely a challenge.  Having three teenagers adds even more of a challenge.  One of the components to a home that thrives is having open communication. I want each of my children and especially my teens to be able to come to either my husband or I and tell us anything; whether it be about their frustrations, what they want in life, or talking openly about what they need help with, without the fear of disappointing us. Teaching them how to communicate with us helps them understand how relationships work, enables us to be there for them as guides and teachers, and keeps me on my toes with being approachable, so all of this can happen. Without being open to hear respectful criticism from our children, or use our relationship to our full advantage, we’ll be missing out on being a tremendous influence in their lives.

I haven’t been always approachable and when it came to my oldest daughter wanting to go to a public high school…she told me that she was afraid to ask me when it was too late. That hurt both of us. From that point on, giving my fears to God on everything on an ongoing basis, gives me the comfort, confidence, and wisdom I need to be the mother they need.

I learned that nothing is too fearful to talk about and I wanted each one of my children to know that, too, from that moment on. Even if it meant they wanted to give the ol’ high school a try or more serious matters like if they are having sex and needed to talk.

I had a situation the other day where my oldest son, whom is near fifteen years old, wanted me to run him to his buddy’s house. Simple, right? Not when you have a houseful of kids who want to go along for the ride. At first, I didn’t see a problem with them tagging along even though they could have stayed at home with an older sister, but soon it became clear. Chaos ensued with seating arrangements in our vehicle, someone was telling the other that they had bad breath and the comments, chaos, and crying children kept up the whole ride there. My oldest son had had it! He bellowed with his deep voice, that he hated everyone; and never wanted to see them again. When we finally, in what seemed like hours, arrived at his destination he just jumped out of the car without even looking at me and slammed the door. I took my thoughts, semi-hurt feelings, and my chaos back home with me and had to do some pondering and praying. My knee-jerk reaction was to be angry with all my chaotic children and then with my son on how he treated everyone, including myself, and call him up to tell him so!

But with much needed prayer, I knew clearly how to use this as a teachable moment for all involved. Just by calling him up and sympathizing with my son, Taylor, on our horrible car ride, helped diffuse the situation and strengthened our relationship. He agreed to communicate with me what his expectations are ahead of time so we are on the same page and we talked on how in-turn that will reduce frustrations and unneeded hurtful words, expressed. Now to get my young children to keep it down on our car rides…that’s another story!

Our teens need us more now than ever and we don’t want to blow it. This is our last chance to pour out as much guidance and inspiration as allowed by them and we don’t want to ruin it with over- controlling maneuvers and punishments. Don’t let the pride and the success of your parenting be based on how your teens behave.

Taken from the book, Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The Relationship Approach by Mira Kirshenbaum and Charles Foster, Ph.D.:

Start thinking of yourself as a successful parent when this is present:

• Your kid talks to you
• Your kid listens to you
• There’s an easy atmosphere of give-and-take between you
• You can have fights and can make up
• You can laugh together
• Your kid comes to you for advice from time to time
• You have fun together
• There’s a growing sense of your having an adult-to-adult relationship
• Your kid tells you some of his problems
• Your kid introduces you to the people in his life
• You can get your needs met with him even if you sometimes have to struggle to do so

The teen years aren’t easy ones, but with the relationship approach you have an advantage to be the support, influence, and guidance they need.

Jenny Penton is a homeschooling mother of seven children and loves the closeness that being home with them provides. Un-schooling is how they live and learn and she blogs about their learning experiences at Homeschoolingbelle.com. Jenny also has a passion for inspiring women to become master life planners and that includes menu planning. Check out her sites for life planning and her inspiring recipes on her food blog at plannerperfect.com and plannerperfectmeals.com

The time that all homeschoolers look forward to with both trepidation and excitement has finally arrived at our house. Our oldest daughter is graduating from our homeschool this June! We are thrilled to be able to honor her achievement, but when we looked at our finances, we’re not so thrilled.

How can we celebrate in style, with all of her friends and the few family members who are trekking in from out of state without going bankrupt? First of all, let’s take a look at the accessories and see how many are actually vital for our party of the year: senior pictures, invitations, announcements, name cards, postage to mail invitations and announcements, memory albums, cap, gown, tassel, diploma, fancy cover for diploma, printed programs for ceremony, honor medallions, pins, honor cords, embosser for transcript . . . Yikes!

We are doing this all on our own, not with any group affiliation. On the down side, that means that we’re doing all the planning. On the upside, we’re not paying fees and sitting through a ten-minute power point presentation for each of the twenty other graduates that we don’t know personally. Many factors went into our decision, and each family has different needs and desires. Take a look at what the homeschool groups in your area offer, talk it over with your spouse and your senior, and then decide what you’ll be doing.

This is what we’re doing. We’re holding the ceremony and the party at our house. God has blessed us with a large home, a good sized yard, and an above-ground pool. We’re praying hard for good weather! My daughter is rather casual, so we’re having a short, but meaningful graduation ceremony, and then, we’ll party.

Here’s how I plan to save money on all the accoutrements. My sister-in-law is a photographer, so she’s doing the senior portraits for free; we just have to pay for whatever we want printed. Instead of traditional invitations, announcements, and name cards, we’ll look for a Snapfish coupon (other websites and retailers have similar deals) and have photo announcements made. I’ll put a computer-generated sticker on the back with the event details for locals who will be invited to the ceremony. Otherwise, I’ll put address labels on the back and mail them as postcards (also saving money on postage). Since we’re focusing more on the party than on the ceremony, we’ll skip the printed programs.

So far, the most cost-effective place that I’ve found to purchase a cap, gown, tassel, and diploma is from the Home School Legal Defense Association. For members, the cost of those four items is just $45—personalized. Another website with more options is Homeschool Diploma.

For the party food, I’m comparing prices between Aldi and Sam’s Club. We’ll do burgers and hot dogs on the grill, with whatever chips are on sale. My younger daughter is excited about making and decorating her sister’s cake. I will probably buy generic plates, cups, and napkins in my daughter’s favorite colors as opposed to expensive, graduation-themed ones.

That’s my plan, and I’m sticking to it. We’re celebrating our daughter’s graduation (and 16^th birthday, but that’s a story for another time), and we’re not breaking the bank to do it.

Bethany LeBedz is a veteran homeschooler, professional editor, writer, and speaker. You can check out her business website at www.bethanylebedz.com. Bethany contributes regularly to Heart of the Matter Online, has a regular column in the Home School Enrichment magazine, and occasionally writes for other magazines, websites, and newsletters. She lives in North Carolina with her family and she enjoys music, reading, scrapbooking, sewing, genealogy, and keeping up with friends in her spare time. Be sure to follow her blog, Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom, at www.bethanylebedz.blogspot.com.

I’ve been skimming a new favorite on the homeschool circuit, Do Hard Things, by Alex and Brett Harris. I’m trying to determine whether it would be the right selection for a living book on character next school year. This book, written by homeschooled teen twins, prompts teenagers to rise above the low expectations that society sets for them. While I’m still undecided about the book, its content left me thinking. In fact, I thought so much about it until it prompted me to have the discussion with our Sunday school class about the gap between what God thinks of them and what they think of themselves.

One of the realizations the book expresses, and our class expressed as well, is that, for the most part, when you see something about teenagers, it’s generally negative. Whether it’s teenage pregnancies, teens and drugs, teens and peer pressure (almost always negative peer pressure, not positive), the news is just not good. I can remember surfing in Blogland and finding a meme on raising and homeschooling teenagers. I found it intriguing that the authors actually had to articulate the need to be nice when speaking of your own children.

There are changes that occur in children at this age, without doubt. On one hand, the homeschooling environment gives us the opportunity to be more sensitive, hopefully reducing everyone’s stress level during this accelerated growth phase. On the other hand, the homeschooling environment gives us more of an opportunity to pray because we don’t get a break when the stress levels are high. As I’m no child expert or medical doctor, I won’t presume to offer any advice on teen development; this is simply my observation based upon conversations with friends in similar situations.

So, where do all the studies, the research, the articles, and the countless “how to” studies leave a parent of a homeschooled teen? With tons of information on home educating a high schooler; why not add my two cents? (smile)

After a looming sense of dread during my daughter’s 8th grade year, I would say at this point that high school is not the big, hairy monster that I thought it would be. I am convinced that most of the changes existed in my mind rather than in the way that we adjusted our homeschool. For us, the core course requirements stayed the same.

Our oldest still needs a steady diet of grammar and composition, math, science, and history. Yet, I would tell another parent that the age-old wisdom of knowing your child becomes tantamount here: knowing strengths, areas that need development, life/career interests, learning styles, and how to marry all of this with the opportunities around you can make all the difference in the high school experience.

What else would I tell a parent who is considering a homeschool that includes high school?

Include the Bible in your studies. It amazes me how many Christian parents decide to forego Bible studies as children grow. Several parents that I know will say something along the line of “we just don’t have time,” or in some way insinuate that since it’s not important to a college administrator, its value is somehow diminished. I shared with such a parent recently that it is possible to do both as a part of your studies–integrate God’s Word and prepare your children academically for college. (Her comment was, “I want my children to know who god is but I want them to get the information that will get them into a great college first.”) I talked about the history significance of the Bible, and how even non-believers recognize the significance of the Bible, if nothing more than as a history text; it is included in almost every study of ancient World history. But that’s really not reason enough to include Biblical studies. The real reason in my mind is what I alluded to earlier: what teenagers are challenged with today makes me realize how very sheltered my world was 25-30 years ago. As our pastor shared this morning, a walk with our Lord shouldn’t be a Sunday morning event, but should permeate the remaining hours in our week as well. Simply put, a Christian parent can no longer afford to limit opening a Bible to Sunday morning. The enemy is too cunning, and the price—our children’s souls—is too high.

Don’t slack off because your child’s academic goals don’t include college. I’ve shared previously that my father had to quit school at an early age in order to sharecrop with his family. My mother had more education, and fought to become a registered nurse when the highest position most black women held was generally a teacher. Because they understood the value of higher education, we were never given a choice about college; we simply got to choose where we wanted to go. My husband and I have raised our children the same way, and we’ve geared our homeschool toward that end. However, I also recognize that college is not everyone’s goal. I do believe, however, that regardless of the path, this is the last opportunity for you to pour into your child those habits, that knowledge, and those values that will define her as she leaves home. Lee Binz of the Home Scholar does a marvelous job of discussing why an academically rigorous education is important, especially to a child who is not pursuing higher education.

Having said that, what should you add to a high schooler’s curriculum to give it uniqueness? Electives, which can take many forms. A high schooler can also take advantage of art studies, music studies, and whatever electives are of interests. Composition can take a number of forms: blogging, editing a family newsletter, or volunteering for an organization that needs a public relations person (free press releases), as examples. The oldest has a friend who writes plays and short films, and will see his first manuscript brought to life this summer at a local library. For that math enthusiast who likes to play video games, how about a course in applied mathematics such that he can design his own interactive fun?

An unschooler would give better advice than I would on designing electives. There are also books and resources on the subject. In our home, given our daughter’s interest in fashion, I put together a reading/ writing project for her using the Biblical character of Esther (since we studied Ancient World History). She drug her feet in completing the project, but when she asked me, “So, who are we going to study next year?” I knew I was on to something.

Pick your battles; win the war (the dragging of feet prompted that one). Our high school doesn’t start when I want; it ends later than I want. I make a choice each morning to not start my day fussing. I don’t always remember the choice when the beauty regimen takes closer to an hour, but I make it (smile). Toward the end of the year, I began to follow up on our pastor’s worship series regarding “The Worshipping Life,” and I walked around in the mornings with my MP4 player listening to worship music. This changed my whole outlook on the day and its troubles. It probably made me more relaxed than I should have been, but at least I wasn’t screaming at anyone to hurry. Well, not too much.

Early is never early enough. Again, I am writing from the perspective of a parent whose child, unless the Lord sends a burning bush to say otherwise, will leave here and attend college in a few short years. Yet, I’m sure that whatever your children’s plans are, there is one constant: you must prepare them to increasingly live a life of self-sufficiency (minus human interventions, I mean). This has meant, in addition to day-to-day lessons of managing time, money, and a stack of dirty clothes and/or dirty dishes, the following tasks:

• Coordinating with the public school system for standardized test taking
• Researching college alternatives
• Researching scholarship and grant possibilities
• Transcript preparation
• Understanding what a given college wants and needs and how that pertains to what we do in high school

In short, all of those activities that the public school system handled for me, complete with the expertise and the power to delegate, now fall flat in the laps of my husband and I to get done. I have at least two examples of making a few calls in a half-embarrassed state, thinking that someone would consider me a slave driver of parent. In each case, I had narrowly missed some critical deadline to position the oldest to accomplish some major milestone in her college preparation. My advice to any parent who is walking a similar road would be to start early enough that others will laughingly say to you, “You’re already doing that?” As others have wisely said to me, you will laugh last. Pray. Though prayer is nothing new for a Christian, I believe the Lord gives a special grace for those with teens.

Here are some specific needs that I know I’ve become acutely more aware of in raising my teen:

1. We have to pray for them to stay with Christ, whether they leave us or not.
2. We have to pray to grow in trusting them as young adults whose plans don’t always align with our own.
3. Because there is no other teacher to point to regarding the gap in your child’s knowledge (whether going to college, to the military, or straight to work), we must do our best, but we also have to know God as a gap-filler.
4. We must pray to grow in grace as we come to the revelation that everything we think is wrong with them ain’t them (pardon the vernacular). In praying, realize that the Lord will change you as much—or maybe even more–as He’ll change your child. We are given a wonderful opportunity during these years, and with the right resources, it can be a tremendous time in our lives. God bless you.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.

The final year of homeschooling my current oldest at home seemed to be passing slowly. We talked about future plans, but he couldn’t quite seem to put his finger on his next step. A retake of the ACT in the fall raised his score a few points, yet that didn’t prompt a move forward. Even more surprising was that this particular child who had always been focused, detailed, and timely on all his high school studies and whom I had anticipated making the push to finish his senior year early, which is a definite advantage of homeschooling, only seemed to almost stall with a case of senioritis.

As the last week of May came upon us, like a bolt of lightning on a clear blue sky day he was struck with a plan. Surprisingly the college he was considering was still taking applications for the fall semester and I was prompted to immediately get his transcript in order to be sent in to accompany his online application. Had I mentioned that I was also planting the garden, attempting to finish schooling with his four younger siblings, and preparing for an out of town wedding of his older brother the following week? Let’s just say that it felt like there was a bit of thunder rumbling after Mr. Lightning Bolt struck as I scrambled to hold my umbrella to keep some balance in my life.

No sooner had we unpacked our van from the wedding when his college acceptance letter arrived quickly followed by a huge smile on his face. But that was only the start of the process that felt familiar having been through it before with his older siblings. It was time to get into a college mindset with this son who only weeks before was planning on working at his dad’s business until further notice. Suddenly we needed to get his financial system set up with a checking/savings account, send in his enrollment confirmation check, fill out his college housing application, and begin looking into financial options to fund his college education.

And then another old familiar feeling struck as my mind abruptly realized what was happening. A son had grown up and was leaving home. Oh my! Had I prepared him well enough? Had he learned everything he needs to know to maneuver through the world without me? Would he be able to handle the transition into college life? Had he learned the necessary educational tools to tackle the demands of higher education? Did I need to review laundry details, remind him to take Emergen-C when illness was spreading through the dorms, reexamine budgeting, and give him tips on girls?

Just as suddenly my mind shifted gears as I realized that I needed to bypass all that other stuff as I considered one of those important things to a mother’s heart – the handmade Noah’s ark quilt that had covered his bed since he was a little boy and which matched his brother’s bed quilt since they were in bunk beds at that time. The quilt was worn and torn from much loving and snuggling under through the years. Even if it had been in good shape it would most likely not be traveling to college because it was a little kid’s kind of quilt. Guess I’d have another task to consider this summer as he definitely needed a new quilt to go with him for his dorm bed. A quilt pieced by mom with solid colors or plain designs that was more grown up looking for a young man heading off to college as he added a new piece to his life.. A quilt homemade by mom with a soft border that he could snuggle under after a late night of studying for exams and be reminded that there were people back home that loved him, prayed for him, and were only a phone call away. A quilt sewn by mom with love as I looked back over the struggles and challenges of his growing up years and witnessed God sewing together his strengths and championing his positive characteristics. A quilt hemmed by mom with prayer as my heart released him and his hopes, dreams, and future into the Lord’s faithful hands who will hem them into His purposes.

Yes, when our children hit that all grown up moment it often feels like it happened as suddenly as a lightning bolt and takes our hearts a bit to catch up. Yet their lives within our homes have been steadily pieced and sewn together over the years building a foundation that prepares them for God’s purposes in the future. We can completely trust God as He faithfully continues the process of quilting our child’s life into something beautifully suited for His glory. And isn’t that really the heart of the matter?

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy Dallmann’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from grade school age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.

Looking for a strategy for success? One great idea is to initiate a “Morning Meeting” each day!

With each of your children, meet with them individually each morning when you are doing school.  Discuss what they completed the previous day.  Go over their recent writing or assignments and provide feedback.  A simple “Great job” or “I love it, but please correct this paragraph” can go a long way.  It will help you feel confident too, as you provide feedback on what they have completed.  Grading papers may be unnecessary as you provide oral feedback, and request verbal reports or quizzes.  That can cut back on your work load.  After that quick review, you can discuss your plans for the current day.  A quick list of assignments can set expectations for the day.  You can assist your teenagers in prioritizing, and thinking through their schedule.

In our homeschool, our Morning Meeting lasted 15-30 minutes for each child. When they were younger, I gave them spelling words and dictation, I asked them to narrate stories from their books and recite their memorization.  Then I would instruct them in their daily math lesson.  When they became high school age, I continued with the Morning Meeting, but it changed to meet their needs.  I would quiz them on their geography lessons and science vocabulary.  I gave them feedback on their writing and asked for additional correction.

A Morning Meeting conveys a lot to your children.

It sets an expectation for the day, and conveys the gravitas of education. It shows them that THEY are important, not just as “students” but as unique individuals of value in your home.

When a Morning Meeting is missed, it’s possible to miss important details.  Without daily check up, you may not know if homework is turned in – which can set the stage for failure.

Naturally our home wasn’t perfect.  There were times when my lovely expectations didn’t result in those expectations being met.  However, with clear expectations given on a daily basis, it was much easier to provide consequences when necessary.  With clear and consistent expectations, I could provide a direct natural consequence of slacking off.  With a direct cause-and-effect consequence provided in a matter-of-fact way, the result was correction rather than punishment.

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, “Helping parents homeschool through high school.” She has a new free minicourse called “The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Homeschooling High School”. You can sign up for her free email homeschool newsletter, The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from her homeschool blog, The HomeScholar Helper. Get homeschool transcript help with her Total Transcript Solution. Get comprehensive homeschool support as a member of her Gold Care Club.

The typical course of study is just that, typical. Our children, like your children, are not typical. They have callings and directions from God that transcend the typical. The only problem was that typical comforted me. It kept me from feeling too weird. As I have said many times in the past, I was homeschooling my children, now teenagers, but God was homeschooling me. Was there more than one way to do this thing called high school? Was there room in the landscape for an individualized program that not only fit our family but also prepared my children for the future? The answer was a resounding yes.

Christian homeschoolers serve a big God with a perfect plan. The testimonies from my life as a young person and student, wife, mother, and ultimately homeschooler all support this idea. If our minds direct our thoughts, we can end up in panic and worry. If our hearts direct them, we have access to peace and direction.  The worries of the world can assail us when it comes to high school. What about transcripts? What about college? What if my child doesn’t write as well as I think he should? The burdens of these responsibilities are heavy indeed. However, the real question is, are they your burdens?

The child you raised, the child you homeschooled was a stewardship opportunity. As God’s precious child, the Father remains responsible for the plans that He has made for him. (Psalm 139) He will bring along the perfect course, co-op, or tutor. It is His job to provide and your job to ask for that provision. God delights in meeting the needs of His people, so don’t give your children second best. Now is not the time to take the reins of control back from the Lord and try to do it yourself. He will see you through this stage as He has seen you through the others because He promises to do so. (I Thess. 5:24) The calling to homeschool was His, so the job of seeing it done is His as well.

Debbie Strayer is a veteran educator, speaker, author and home educator. She enjoys spending time with her husband of thirty years and her grown children.

Dr. Ruth Beechick, too, has spent many years teaching and writing on education. She specializes in curriculum and in how children learn. She is mother of two and grandmother of four and loves working together with Debbie because they think alike on education matters. For more books and articles, see debbiestrayer.com.

I can’t imagine I’m the only sleepless, information-seeking homeschool mom.  Why? Because I know as parents we want to raise our children to become happy and successful adults. The problem we sometimes struggle against is the idea that happy and successful doesn’t always mean academic, straight A’s, Harvard-bound.  Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that goal.  What is wrong is when our plans and goals for our kids become the only way.

Homeschooling is all about tailoring education to fit YOUR child and YOUR life, not squeezing your child into someone else’s mold of happy and successful.

So what do you do when you have a teen who has felt the Lord leading them in a specific direction and who feels compelled to train for their career while in high school?  Do we simply fill their days with school work and tell them they must wait until they are 18 years old to begin that journey, or do we take advantage of the unique opportunity homeschooling brings and allow them to train now?   What reasons should we look for when deciding to allow our teens to begin their training in high school?  How do we even begin to format that training alongside a typical high school course of study?  Further, what are the disadvantages?

Reasons for allowing your teenager to train for their career now?

1. Your child has been passionate about an area and has been working/training for a period of time long enough to show you that they truly are serious about their desire.
2. Their area of interest has a need for intense training at a younger age.
3. There are compelling reasons for letting them explore their interest while still at home and under your shelter.   Sometimes this is because the industry they are entering will be harsh and it is better to enter younger with guidance than young with no guidance.

Disadvantages of allowing your teenager to begin training for their career now?

1. The dreaded “S” word: socialization.  Typically this type of training combined with a normal high school course of study is a heavy load.  This means your student has a full schedule and less time for co-ops and outings with friends.
2. Their schedule won’t look like other kids’ their age.  Friends will notice.  We had well-meaning friends question us about our daughter’s schedule.  Be gracious in your response, but don’t apologize for the path God has for your child.
3. Slowly transitioning control over to your teenager can be hard.  Natural consequences are some of life’s biggest lessons, yet as a parent it is so hard to stand back and allow those to happen.   Let them!  Then, learn to step in and show your teen how to get back on track.  We all make mistakes.  Your teenager will too.  Let them know when they make a mistake that you are still their biggest fan!

What does this look like at a practical level?

The beauty of homeschooling is flexibility.  However, high school graduation comes with some requirements.  I began my daughter’s high school plan by listing out the basic graduation requirements for our state. Because we also wanted to keep the possibility of college open, I looked at the college admission requirements for the colleges she had expressed an interest in attending.   Next, I reviewed a typical course study for some Performing Arts High Schools since that is her area of interest.  My goal was to get an idea of the number of training and performance hours she would have received if she had attended.  I used this information as the building blocks for her high school course of study.

This information gives me a solid framework.   It also alleviates any guilt I feel when a well-meaning friend mentions the hours a week my daughter spends at dance, vocal, and acting classes.  I simply say that these are the hours my daughter would be spending if she were attending a Performing Arts High School.  The same idea would hold true if you used this formula for a teen who is training privately in a sport or in a specific area of music.  Be sure to keep track of the hours spent and keep a record of the training received.   Now that our framework is in place, how does our weekly schedule work?

We work my daughter’s high school coursework around her training schedule with the understanding that she needs to be from point A to point B in her coursework by a certain time period.  I allow her to make decisions regarding when she gets her schoolwork done.  We have a system where she is accountable to me in the same way an employee would be accountable to their boss for a job.  We meet on Monday mornings to assign schoolwork for the week.  She lets me know how last week went and we go over any assignments if needed and she turns in any assignments that were due.  If assignments are not completed, we discuss why.  We try to look for things we can adjust in her schedule and go on from there.  The most important thing is that you go with the needs of your teenager.  My daughter needs creative freedom and tends to work better with a flexible schedule.  I have another teen who is quite the opposite so I can say with confidence this schedule would be adapted for him.

The end goal is that your teenager (and mine) graduates ready to move forward into the world knowing the ins and outs of the career they wish to follow. Hopefully they have made progress because of the skills they were able to develop during their high school years.  Wherever the road leads, they will have skills that will help them through their adult life.

Leah Nieman is traveling the wild and wacky journey of parenting with her best friend and husband, Joel. They have 2 great teenagers who teach them daily that children truly are a blessing. On top of homeschooling, Leah is grateful to work with her friend Staley at CurrClick.com. CurrClick has been a tremendously rewarding endeavor for both Moms. It is especially rewarding to know that CurrClick has made homeschooling easier and more affordable for tens of thousands of parents all around the world.