Special Needs | Heart of the Matter

August 23, 2010 By LauraD 5 Comments

Have you gone on vacation this summer? Our family just got back from Estes Park, CO, and boy is it hard to return to normal daily life after an idyllic week in the Rocky Mountains! Isn’t it funny how normal life seems to be suspended when you’re on vacation? The things that usually bother you don’t seem to be issues, as you’re away from the very situations that cause them. The things that tend to set your kids off aren’t present either, so even they seem to be on their better (not quite best!) behavior. The more peaceful state of my family got me thinking about three things during my week off. First, I probably work too much (I’m a work-at-home freelance writer, and I’m also in the process of launching my own line of homeschool materials). Second, my kids need to build some new habits, both in terms of their characters and in terms of their interactions with each other and with their father and me. Finally, I truly need a role model – another mother with whom I am close and can emulate and from whom I can receive encouragement and advice.

Anyone who reads my posts knows that when I speak about my kids and the challenges that they present, I am probably talking most earnestly about “N”, my gifted seven year-old, whose behavior becomes more challenging and more mystifying to me every day. It is N, in fact, whom I think would benefit the most from my cutting back on work. N is happy when he is occupied. I mean seriously occupied. If I find something that engages this child’s brain to the fullest, he is satisfied, pleasant, and a joy to be around. On vacation in the mountains, that task became rock and mineral collecting and identification. If, however, N finds himself “bored”, a word I detest and, in fact, don’t really understand, he becomes almost unbearable. He finds it difficult to find things to do to engage himself, and relies on me to find activities to engage him. He doesn’t expect me to entertain him, just to lead him to things that will allow him fully to engage his brain.

The problem, of course, is that I have ideas! Deadlines! Articles! Employers! Goals! Each of these interferes with my ability to find things that will catch N’s fancy. My other children are wonderful about using their free time. My oldest writes plays for them to act in, they build block cities, they host tea parties for their furry friends, they read, or they draw. I don’t feel guilty sitting in their midst working. N is causing me to rethink things, though. I’ll have to get back to you on that one. I sure would welcome ideas, though!

Ah, the habit! Benjamin Franklin sure believed in the power of the habit, as did many of our other amazing founders. I, too, am a firm believer in the amazing power of the habit. Unfortunately, in my house right now, the habits that have a firm grasp are the ones that I want to see leave! Having spent time with my sister’s wonderful family last week, I saw some of the habits that she has in place for her family, and I am determined to replace my family’s bad habits with her family’s good habits. They (oh the amorphous they!) say it takes about 21 days to form a new habit: I’ll let you know next month whether we’re doing any better about putting away our toys before we go to bed or hanging up our clothes the second they leave our backs!

Finally, I’ve always (well, nearly always!) thought my big sister (older by 15 months) was the smartest person I know. I’ve now officially selected her as my model mom. I was able to watch her in fairly close quarters with her kids for close to a week, and she has just the right balance of firmness and freedom. Best of all, because she’s my sister, I can confess my fears, failings, and weaknesses to her without fear of judgment. She truly is the only person of my own generation of whom that is true. She is also a role model in terms of her faith. I’d like to think I don’t need any help in that regard, but I suspect everyone could use a little booster shot now and then!

I realize that this post seems a tad personal, but I consider the HOTM family my friends and, more than anything, I welcome your advice and your thoughts. I know I’m not the only one out there with a challenging child (or two!). Have you had any revelations in these slower summer months? Are there things that you think you might do differently as the fall semester begins in a couple of weeks? Who is your role model – is it possible to have a Titus 2 relationship with a woman your own age? Perhaps most importantly: does anyone have any ideas for how to keep my overactive, overstimulated, oversmart seven year-old son intellectually engaged?? Have a wonderful end-of-summer HOTM ladies!

Laura Delgado has been married to her husband, Henry, for 14 years. She gave birth to four children in exactly 40 months, but cheated since the last two were twins. She now happily homeschools her 8,6, and two 4 year-olds. She earned a Ph.D. in Political Science from Rice University, but finds that she uses her undergraduate Great Books education far more in her homeschooling pursuits. In addition to writing for various homeschooling publications, she creates educational materials for edHelper. For homeschooling helps and curriculum reviews, please visit her blogs at Living as Martha and Salve Regina Homeschool.

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August 9, 2010 By HeatherL 2 Comments

When my daughter “graduated” from our state’s early childhood therapy program it was assumed she would go straight to the local special education pre-K. She has autism but I thought that should be no reason not to homeschool her. I also didn’t understand why she had to go to the local pre-K when clearly in many ways she was not ready for school. I chose to homeschool her and I have never looked back!

When we were left on our own I knew I had to take charge of all the aspects of her learning.

I thought about each part of her learning separately.

-Therapy
-Social
-Academic

First I tackled the therapy she needed. My daughter needed Occupational Therapy for her sensory need problems. I found out that my local school system did not want to deal with homeschoolers in any way. So I started that therapy privately.

Then I looked at the social aspect of homeschooling. The question I had to answer was just how much outside socialization did a 3 year old need? I found that I could easily provide fun outings that would help my daughter learn to work and play with others. We went to MOPS, our church’s Co-op fun days, Sunday school and of course anywhere I went she came along. This gave her many different set of people (her age, older children, adults) to deal with.

Academic was the most intimidating for me to take care of. I was afraid that I would be late in starting book work. Or worse I would pick the wrong material and ruin her growing phonics skills. The doubts were only magnified by the doubts of the therapy team and local school system. Funny enough I had already been homeschooling for 3 years and yet I questioned my every step.

Finally I realized I needed to slow down and only give her what she was ready for. At 3 years old that wasn’t much. We read together. We sang songs. She hung out when she wanted to with the older kids while they homeschooled. I looked for signs of readiness to go to the next step.

-singing the full alphabet

-pointing to letters and naming them correctly

-counting to twenty

-able to attend for a five minute lesson

Homeschooling can be the most stressful when starting. You are new and unsure. That is okay! Remember back to your kindergarden class it was full of fun hands on activities. Preschool is just a formalized version of what parents naturally do with their children at home. Singing, introducing books, letters, numbers, animals etc to a young eager mind. Some of our children are specially blessed and may need more time and understanding to succeed.

You are the most loving teacher your child could possibly have! You can homeschool your child. You can also have fun and develop a wonderful relationship with your child that will last a lifetime!

Heather Laurie and her husband, Christopher, have been married for 13 wonderful years, and have been blessed with 7 children, two of whom are awaiting them in Heaven. They began their homeschooling journey eight years ago, amidst trials and unexpected journeys, including a genetic disorder, autism, sensory disorders, and lupus. Heather and her husband created the ministry Laurie Family Ministries which includes Special Needs Homeschooling as a way to use their trials for the Lord’s glory and to encourage special needs parents and homeschoolers.

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July 13, 2010 By HeatherL 6 Comments

When therapy is part of homeschooling there is a specific medical need. Some children need speech, physical, occupational, vision, or numerous other types of therapies. You may be dealing with long term therapy or short term therapy of a specific problem. No matter the therapy or the duration your homeschooling can become a natural part of the process. How can you successfully integrate therapy into your homeschooling?

There are several questions that need to be answered. Why is my child in need of therapy? You and your therapist(s) need to have a clear vision of where your child is right now and what is acceptable progress and completion of a therapy program. A word of caution here, I have run into therapy programs that will check my insurance first to decide how much therapy was needed. If my therapy called for 20 sessions a year than my child would be done with his therapy program in 20 sessions. In my opinion this is not very professional nor helpful to my child. You can fight that mindset by noting all problems that need a therapist to remediate, then outlining a plan to get there.

How will the therapy be given? Will you be let into the room? Can you participate with the session? For my children I make sure that daddy or I are in the sessions always. We take home what the therapist is working on and work on it at home. This has helped my children to consistently exceed several therapists’ expectations. This is where homeschooling will help you thrive!

Where will the therapy take place? Many therapists work out of the local school system or a therapist center. If you are lucky enough to qualify or live near a therapist that allows it you may also get therapy in your home. You could use the local school system to help get therapy for your child IF they qualify, IF you go through an IEP process and then you need to in some states meet additional legal obligations as a special needs homeschooler. Also you are not in charge of the therapy; if your IEP team all disagrees with you they can force more or less therapy than you wish. You could use private therapy at a local center. The travel to and from can be a bit much but you are in charge. I have found that at home therapy is the best. Your child is completely at ease and can focus on the problem needing help. Also you are right there, and get to see firsthand how to do this therapy. One caution you are allowing someone you know, only limitedly, into your home. No matter your choice your attitude towards therapy and learning to help your child will speak volumes and encourage the best from your therapy team.

The goals of homeschooling and therapy are the same, improving your child’s life. We found a therapist that was neutral about homeschooling. He worked mostly for the school so we were unusual for him. The more he worked with my children and saw them blossoming from homeschooling and therapy the more he softened. He is now a great resource that many homeschoolers in the area go to for quality therapy. Your patience will not only help your child, you may help others!

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June 10, 2010 By CarolB 7 Comments

There was a time when my answer was clear and firm.

I used to say… sure, go ahead and test.

Getting a label takes the pressure off the child who’s been thinking he’s defective.
A label gives you a reason for all the clear challenges that have been a part of his life.
It removes personal blame.
It’s freeing.
It’s truth.

In fact, the preface of my first book How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning takes this stand with enthusiasm.

“Put the Label on the Table” I happily burble. “If you don’t come up with a label, your child will gravitate to their own self diagnosis. And what they typically come up with is ‘I’m stupid.’ So yes, yes, and yes. Get a label as soon as you can.”

I still believe in the value of having a clear recognition of just what is going on. But the years have added to my understanding of the ramifications of that label.

It doesn’t simply give you a name to call this condition. It gives you much, much more. There are things that come with this label that I had not originally realized. And because of that, I have had to make an addendum or two to that original statement. So today, my answer is not as clear and firm. It has several “but’s” and “perhaps…” that must be considered before such an action is taken.

So let’s look at how I answer this question today.

TIMES WHEN TESTING IS NEEDED

When you want to medicate your child. You simply cannot obtain medications without a diagnosis and a prescription. I’ve never taken a “Thou Shalt Not Medicate” stance. We’ve been able to avoid it in our own household, but there are many families who feel it was the only option left to them. I will not stand here from a distance and proclaim them to be wrong. Indeed, I have seen behaviors from some children and thought to myself…If that were my child, I would be asking the doctor for some medical possibilities as well. Do I think medications are options too quickly chosen? Yes. But would I say they should never be an option? I can’t go there. So…if you want to have the option of medication for your child, you must get a diagnosis.

When you want accommodations in some academic or professional setting. With the passing of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) many disabilities, including ADHD, are finding accommodations are available. Perhaps longer testing times or oral exams as opposed to written. There are many options and they vary from region to region, but one thing is clear. Without a clear label from a clear diagnosis, no such accommodations can be obtained.

When you’re not sure WHAT you’re dealing with. There are many other conditions that share symptoms of ADHD. Sometimes these other issues may have much more serious ramifications. You think it might be ADHD, but there are some things that don’t quite fit. If something more serious needs to be ruled out, then testing is in order.

Now we come to the “but’s….” portion of our journey. (not a pretty word picture).

These are some of the issues that have resulted from having obtained an ADHD diagnosis that surprised me along the way.

You’re expected to proclaim this condition in many activities. When your child goes to camp, when they join the Scouts, when they go on a field trip, when they go to Sunday School– each of these events can sometimes be accompanied a request to inform the powers that be of your child’s condition. They may well have good reasons for it. But sometimes it has a way of singling out my child in ways I would rather he’d not been singled. Usually it is handled well, and in truth, if they didn’t ask, I might still have taken aside a counselor or leader and informed them of what to expect. But I was nonetheless, taken aback. My low blood sugar might be an issue for my Sunday School class as well, but I’ve never been asked to declare it on a registration form.

Job applications Will Often Ask: This one is a double-edged sword. On one hand, we’d rather not be asked. It’s personal and may well be irrelevant. And it may be used against us unfairly. On the other hand, ADHD folks are often seeking accommodations for their disability via the ADA act for job related expectations. Not all people with ADHD qualify as being disabled. But some do, and those folks are able to use this act to acquire reasonable accommodations. So having this question appear on a job application may be reasonable. But then again, it may not be at all necessary. And in the latter cases, it is simply intrusive with the potential to present unnecessary problems.

Your Auto Insurance Will be Higher. There is indeed a bona fide increased risk of car accidents with ADHD drivers. So I understand why they ask. However, some research out of the Virginia Driving Safety lab out of the University of Virginia found that this risk can be greatly lessened by having your ADHD teen driving a stick shift rather than an automatic.

Armed Services aren’t Welcoming. I think that this was the hardest one of all for our family. My son had always planned on joining the military. We come from a big military family. My father, father-in-law, both siblings, and most uncles were all in the military. And my son fully intended to continue the tradition. So it was disheartening to learn that the military wasn’t warm and fuzzy about those with ADHD. I was particularly surprised about this as my father is very ADHD and yet rose to the rank of Sargeant Major in the Army. The highly structured life in the army is often exactly what some ADHD folks need and indeed, is perfectly suited for them to thrive. My son’s sudden change in career options was a blow that he’s still seeking to recover from. His path had been so clear in his mind, and now he must seek out another. To be fair, the military is trying to work out a better approach. In fact, every time I’ve called recruiters to get the latest, it’s different from the last pronouncement.

When all is said and done, the truth is I wish we had not obtained a diagnosis when my son was younger.

Since we did not medicate him, it didn’t provide us with many positives, but we were awash in the negatives. In addition, the very same tools and strategies that we used to help this child thrive could have been used just as easily without a diagnosis. In other words, I was permitted to play toss it, put motion into learning, use ditties and homeschool… all without a little piece of paper that proclaimed my son officially ADHD. I’m not sure just what we gained.

I’m glad that I KNEW that he had ADHD because otherwise I would have forever wondered if something dreadful was wrong with my child. This knowledge was a relief and freed me to act upon the challenges that he presented without fear.

I don’t have a clear answer here. And I don’t want you to read my post as an attempt to talk you out of getting a diagnosis. But I do want you to have the fullest understanding of what is involved. In the end, sometimes it’s worth it, and sometimes it’s not.

Carol Barnier is a fresh, fun and popular conference speaker unlike any you’ve heard before. Her objective is to have the wit of Erma Bombeck crossed with the depth of C.S. Lewis, but admits that most days, she only achieves a solid Lucy Ricardo with a bit of Bob the Tomato. She is a frequent guest commentator on Focus on the Family’s Weekend Magazine broadcast, has been a guest on many radio programs and is a speaker to conferences nationwide. She’s the author of three books about dealing with (or possessing) a non-linear mind in a linear world: How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning, If I’m Diapering a Watermelon, Then Where’d I Leave the Baby?, and The Big WHAT NOW Book of Learning Styles. Her main websites are CarolBarnier.com and SizzleBop.com. You can also find Carol at her blog for moms with distractible kids at SizzleBop. And for fun, see her church humor blog at CarolBarnier.

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May 12, 2010 By LauraD 2 Comments

Do you ever look around you, maybe at your sisters or your friends, and wonder if everyone’s marriage and family life are like yours? I do. I already know, since my older sister is my closest friend, that her marriage is nothing like mine. You might be thinking, “of course no woman’s marriage is like another’s!”, but I would respectfully disagree. I think that there are definite patterns in all relationships, and I think that these patterns have everything to do with temperament.

However, I am getting ahead of myself. My main point is this: I live in a very passionate (to use my husband’s word) or intense (to use mine) house. My husband and I are both extremely intense people. We are both Type-A personalities who tackle everything we do head-on and 100%. Now, try to imagine what that looks like in a conflict situation! I met my husband when I was 18 years old, and I thank the good Lord every day that He led me to him at a tender age because, had a few more years gone by, I don’t know if we could have grown together enough to compensate for our…intensity!

Naturally, then, my marriage won’t in any way resemble that of someone who is herself intense but married to a more laid-back individual. The dynamic is completely different. Still more different would be the marriage of two laid-back people. What a quiet household that would be! The real adjustments come, though, when children enter the picture. As you may know if you read Heart of the Matter regularly, writing about gifted children is my calling. Well, one hallmark of gifted children tends to be – guess what? Their intensity. Oh, boy!

The older my children get, and my oldest two are only just eight and six, the more interesting the dynamic in our house becomes. Without getting too technical (if you’re like me, you turn to Heart of the Matter first thing in the morning!), Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski isolated five different types of intensities typically exhibited by gifted kids: psychomotor, sensual, emotional, intellectual, and imaginational. Although your child certainly may have more than one of these intensity types, it is likely that one of them is more predominant than the others. For characteristics of all the intensity types, please reference this article. If you’ve never before thought of your child as gifted, reading some of these characteristics may cause you to look at him in a new light!

As you read through the characteristics, though, you might very well have another thought: with the exception of the intellectual intensity, surely the one typically associated with a gifted child, the other descriptions bring to mind a child who might not always be quite so easy to parent! While my six year-old son, referred to in previous posts as “N” is absolutely highly intellectual, he also possesses every psychomotor characteristic in spades! When you combine that with his emotional intensity, you have a child who would surely be diagnosed with something were he in public school. In my darkest moments, I silently wonder if he has ADHD, but then I watch him read or play Legos for hours, or watch him master a math concept three grade levels ahead in a matter of minutes. Hence, when well-meaning friends watching him have an emotional breakdown ask, “has he been diagnosed with anything?”, my ready response is, “yes: B-O-Y.”

Perhaps this discussion of the characteristics of gifted children seems like a digression from my original starting point, but it is really all part of my twofold mission in writing for HOTM: to help others identify, learn about, and nurture their gifted children, and to help homeschooling moms avoid the terrible trap of comparing themselves in anyway with anyone. I hope that this piece helps you further to see why it is so pointless to make these comparisons. Not only can you not compare your priorities with anyone else’s (yours are not theirs), but you can’t compare your families, because each family has its own particular combination of temperaments. My family’s boiling pot of two intense parents, two intense older children, one intense younger twin, and one (thank the good Lord!) placid and sweet younger twin makes for a very unique combination that I haven’t seen anywhere else. Of course there are other families with all intense personalities, and those families understand the, ahem, passionate house in which I live. The quiet and calm families at which I gaze longingly probably think my whole household should be teleported to an insane asylum!

So, what’s the upshot? The same as always! Trust in God! He gave you the spouse who is right for you, just as he gifted you with the children who are right for you! If you ever find yourself wondering why it seems that yours is the noisest, or most intense, house on the block, or, conversely, why your family seems to coast along in serenity while your best friend calls you in tears weekly because there has been yet another blowup over *something* in her household, consider the temperaments of the people who make up your family. Maybe it’s an angle you’ve never before considered!

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May 11, 2010 By Angela 2 Comments

“This is Xander!!!” exclaimed my son.

It makes me smile every time I call the downstairs phone and he answers. His speech has not completely developed so it is just that much cuter. He is so excited that he is now allowed to answer the phone—even if it is just Mom. This is one of many changes that have been happening with him lately. Over the last year he has become independent in the shower, developed a toleration of some foods and discovered that playing with children outside of his brothers and sister isn’t so bad… as long as there aren’t more than one or two friends at a time.

I am in awe at how much he has grown. As the days go by we discover brand new milestones that he is continuing to conquer.

Recently, while attending a social function, I encountered a boy who looked to be around 11 or 12. He was absolutely fixated on the items he had in his pocket and wanted to tell me all about them. I admit that after a few minutes I became a bit weary, but allowed him to go on. He was eventually asked to leave in order to continue with the job at hand. He left, but I had to smile when I saw him a short distance away anxiously waiting for the opportunity to talk again.

“I think he has the ash-burgers”, a woman near me stated.

I am used to people mispronouncing the name. In fact, I am used to people mispronouncing MY last name. I said nothing and continued to do what I was there to do. She persisted,

“You know, ASH-BURGERS, the disease?”

I mean, disease, disorder, whatever… oy vey.

I simply said, “Perhaps” and left it alone

“So sad, he’ll never live on his own”.

I did cringe.

“Never get married or have children.”

I am certain I turned red.

“What a burden to his parents.”

My heart sank as I absorbed those words. They have been said so many times and each time I am reminded that there needs to be more education for those who don’t understand. I honestly do not think she meant any harm, but believe that she was sharing her thoughts and mimicking all of the stereotypes that come from not having a ‘Spectrum’ kid of one’s own.

I carefully responded to her, noting that I personally have a child with Autism, to try not to believe the ‘hype’. I know there are those of you that would have jumped all over her, but that’s not how I roll. Unfortunately she continued to make assumptions, further implying that it wouldn’t turn out well in the end.

Do we consider that this could be a life-long endeavor? It most certainly will be, it is how he was created. Have we talked about the possibility of him living with us forever? Absolutely and my husband said, “If this is the case I can always use a fishing buddy.”

The woman asked what I was ‘going to do with him” when he grew up. I laughed at the question, honestly I did. I told her that if we had anything to say about it he would be living outside of our home independently. It is very much a possibility, ‘cause my kid rocks and as a mom, I have the ‘my child can do anything’ complex.

Can it be hard at times? You bet’cha. Let me tell you, reading is his least favorite, most protested, slowest-going, throw him into a mega-fit, subject. Can I get an Amen??

Let me encourage you to educate, educate, educate those around you. It is intimidating and uncomfortable, but done gently can make a world of difference. I spoke with this woman a few minutes before I realized the effort was futile. You will most definitely run into people who cannot be reasoned with. More often, though, you will find people receptive to the information you are providing about your child and may be asked to further clarify some of the thoughts they may have on the subject.

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened.” 1 Peter 3:14

“Yes, I will do it…bye… OH, by the way, THIS IS XANDER”

Angela DeRossett is a fun-loving, married to the military, homeschooling mother of four. She has four cats and a great big dog and loves her very full house. She is currently pursuing a Master’s in Christian Education and holds a Bachelor’s of Arts and Science in Christian Ministries. Angela is a coffee and theology junkie and is passionate about Autism advocacy and disability rights. You can find her blogging at Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy and Homeschooling the Chaotic Mommy.

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April 14, 2010 By Peggy 4 Comments

I am the mother of three boys on the autism spectrum. I seldom put a fine point on where they fall on that spectrum as each of them faces unique challenges. Last time I shared the story of how we came to be homeschoolers and it was harder to write than I anticipated.

Recently my boys were evaluated and I, as their teacher, had to write down how their disabilities impacted their learning. Once I got started I really gained an understanding of how each of them is impacted and how I can help them here at home.

First let me ‘introduce’ them:

Oldest is thirteen. He is a musical whiz and unlike most on the spectrum is a very auditory learner. He has processing issues and a reading disability.

Middle is ten. He is an outdoor science kid who is a visual learner due to his auditory processing issues. He has read Jeannie Fullbright’s Elementary Astronomy so much the pages are starting to come loose. He gets frustrated easily and is a perfectionist.

Youngest is eight. He is my biggest challenge. We suspect he is very bright but since he doesn’t speak much we don’t know. He will not work unless it is challenging for him. He just doesn’t see the point. He is very hands on in his learning style. This child taught himself multiplication at five and square roots at seven.

Oldest must be constantly redirected to stay on task. Reading is still such a struggle for him due to the late start we got on remediation. I am using lots of audio books – our library is great – but I recently discovered My Audio School. The price is 14.99 per year and she is constantly adding new content.

Also we are using the Charlotte Mason method starting this year. I believe that all three boys will benefit from the shorter lessons. The Nature Walks will help get the wiggles out and Middle loves anything to do with the outdoors.

For handwriting we tried Handwriting Without Tears for a time but they all grew bored and frustrated with it. Last year I stumbled upon making traceable worksheets. There are many free sites and pay sites to do this on. The free one I use is Worksheet Works. Since all three struggle with fine motor skills this helps give them a guide to follow. Imagine my surprise when my three reluctant – at best – writers eagerly started their copywork without prompting!

I have been an EdHelper subscriber for two years now. They have excellent reading comprehension worksheets to build on some of the best living books available. They also have content that goes up to the High School level. They also have a Special Education section that I use frequently.

Except for Youngest – Math U See has been the way to go for Math here. The boys love Mr. Demme and the mastery approach works well for them. I am trying Teaching Textbooks 4 with Youngest this year and we will see how that works.

This year we are also adding IEW – Institute For Excellence in Writing - to our program. Already the boys love Mr. Pudewa and love the way he breaks down the writing process. I heard him speak at the 2009 HOTM homeschool conference and realized that this was the writing program for us. The Yahoo support group for IEW is also fantastic. I am very excited about using this program this year.

I finally decided on Shurley English for the older two as I previewed a book that a local homeschooling friend had purchased for her child. The short lessons as well as the Jingles are going to be big hits around here.

For History/Geography I am going to use two things. Mystery of History vol I - which the boys love – and All American History Vol I. At first I thought two different histories would confuse the but I think it may keep their interest instead. Both programs can be narrated with activities and rather short lessons. In fact I purchased the audio CD’s For Mystery of History and they helped Oldest tremendously.

As for Science – we will stay with Apologia. We have all the Elementary books except the soon to be released Anatomy and Oldest is starting the General Science course this year. The kids really love the approach.

For reading comprehension we’re using Drawn Into the Heart of Reading. The boys do not like to read anything but non fiction so I’m using this approach to help them understand the different genres and how to glean information from each.

We do have schedule and that helps a lot. My kids like knowing when something will happen. We do school year-round due to Doctor’s appointments and evaluations that come up from time to time.

I do a lot of one to one work with them. I finally made peace with the idea that independence is something they will accomplish on a different time frame than other children.

I use Homeschool Tracker Plus for my record keeping. The Basic edition is free but the Plus is well worth the price – with the free lifetime upgrades, video instruction, and support. I don’t generally use it for planning – I like to write out my plans first.

I hope this peek into our homeschool can give someone ideas or some help in homsechooling their special kids.

Peggy Dalley has been married to her best friend and husband for 13 years. She uses the eclectic approach to homeschool their three sons, 12, 10 and 7. Her interests include writing unit studies, Bible study, history and she is working hard to become a Proverbs 31:10 woman instead of a Proverbs 21:9 woman.

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March 9, 2010 By Peggy 9 Comments

I usually stick to informational articles but this time I wanted to share why we decided to home school our kids. It is a clear illustration to me how God is always with us and has a clear plan for our lives.

My husband and I married relatively late in life and had the first of three boys. It wasn’t until our oldest was school age that we began to realize he wasn’t like other children. Intense meltdowns, delayed potty training, not wanting to play with other children and poor eye contact had us going to several doctors. Many evaluations later we were told he was on the autism spectrum. Autism? You mean like ‘Rainman’? No, actually more like ‘Temple Grandin’. (If you have the chance please watch the HBO movie. It will be on DVD this summer and probably on itunes as well. I cannot rave about it enough.)

I had thought about homeschooling before he was school age. The thought of putting my precious boy on a bus and being away from him all day did not sit well with me. Also my husband and I were growing deeper in our Christian faith and we wondered what path God wanted us to take. I read and researched but the local school seemed wonderful and so off to Kindergarten he went.

It was bad. It was very bad. It was too noisy, too bright. He was overwhelmed. He couldn’t keep up with his classmates and he knew it. He had horrific meltdowns. By this time I was convinced I couldn’t teach him – he needed experts, right?

Our middle son went to the local Pre K program and was soon diagnosed with autism as well. As for our youngest? I knew he was different from the minute he drew breath. He literally screamed in the car for the first six months of his life and I went places I only absolutely had to go until we could turn him around in his seat. After a long hard fight on my part it became apparent to even the ‘experts’ that he was on the spectrum also.

By the time our oldest was in third grade I was starting to realize public school was just not going to work for our children. His teachers really didn’t want to have anything to do with a kid who had meltdowns and couldn’t bear to be touched. He was also showing signs of having trouble reading, though the school insisted that it was due to his autism. I knew it wasn’t but we couldn’t afford a private evaluation at the time. Our middle son was being bullied and the school wouldn’t do anything about it and started to have meltdowns of his own.

By the end of that year I was adamant – I wanted them home.

I started researching and reading again and even bought a curriculum. But my husband asked me to try them at another school that had a year round schedule and a smaller class size. If it didn’t work then we’d bring them home. Our youngest started the Pre K program and seemed to do well.

At first it worked. My oldest son had a wonderful teacher and my middle son seemed to like the smaller classroom. Then the bullying started. Here we go again.

We spent hours at school. IEP’s (Individualized Education Plans), FBA’s (Functional Behavior Assessments), BIP’s (Behavior Intervention Plans) were all written and either poorly implemented or not at all. I literally sat with my middle child most of the school day in his class. My children were suspended, restrained, thrust into ‘time-out’ rooms and finally my oldest one was charged with assault for – as the outraged juvenile probation officer put it ‘a clear manifestation of his disability’. (The charge was dismissed – my oldest is hypo sensitive and cannot verbally relate when he is sick. He had raging case of strep when he had this meltdown) Then our middle son had his own meltdown and the school called Social Services and accused me of medical neglect due to an utterance he made. (This despite the fact that my cell phone records showed I called our therapist the minute I stepped out of the school building.) Social Services found the complaint ‘unfounded’ but I cannot begin to tell you how much it hurt to have my mothering skills called into question like that.

Logically, I know my sons have more doctors than my eighty year old grandmother and DSS concurred, but it HURT. I cried out to God and He answered me. I was looking to the wrong ‘experts’.

That was it as far as my husband was concerned. God could not have made it any clearer if He’d rented a neon sign and put it in our yard. The boys needed to be home.

And they’ve been here every since. That was three years ago and though I go through periods of panic and worry that they aren’t getting the education they need, I truly know better. My oldest son does have dyslexia and we are now beginning the remediation process late. My middle son has Central Auditory Processing Disorder and the quiet environment of our home has helped him tremendously. Our youngest – who would have gotten the ADHD label if he’d stayed in public school – now knows square roots. At age seven. It’s hard having teaching kids that are smart in areas that I struggled with in school. I’m starting to realize my own education was sorely lacking and my love of self learning has returned. I’m learning alongside my boys and I love it!

So that’s our journey to homeschooling. It was a hard road to get here but I am ever so glad that we are here. God showed me that He is the ‘expert’ when it comes to our children and He knows their every need. He makes it clear to us that He has plans for each of our boys.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

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February 28, 2010 By Patty 2 Comments

You know there are times when we wish to really bury the past. It haunts us, reminds us of what was, and terrifies us of what could be. And it colors everything we do, because it dictates who we are and what we have become.

For me, my past placed a deep shadow on the subject of reading.

I have a mild case of Dyslexia, nothing major and I can normally work around it by being careful. Re-reading sentences that don’t quite make sense, using spell checker religiously, and having my wonderful husband read things for content.

However, learning to read for me was a nightmare. My mom ran out of patience LONG before I learned the alphabet. And when there was no where to turn for help, reading became a “painful” learning experience. Back then, Dyslexia wasn’t known, and learning disabilities were spoken of in back rooms only. So for me to have such difficulties, well let’s just say it’s a miracle I don’t have a complete block when it comes to picking up the written word.

Now though I love to read. I love making my escape in far off lands, fighting dragons, falling in love with Romeo and finding buried treasure. And so when I began homeschooling, my greatest desire was to instill in my children that same love and desire. My oldest two girls were public schooled for a while and so someone else taught them the basics. I soon discovered though that my second child was facing the same difficulties as I did. She could sometimes recognize the high frequency words, but she couldn’t spell anything, she couldn’t read words in order and she couldn’t sound things out in the proper order. In short, she couldn’t read and her teacher didn’t care enough to work with her. She was falling more and more behind and so we brought her home to learn.

But remember what I said about the past and wishing to bury it? I soon found that I was ill equipped to teach her something that I had such ill memories of. I would lose patience so quickly, and the more frustrated she got, the more tense I became. So I had a good talk with myself and did what any good mom would do–I put it off until I knew what the heck I was doing!

I searched the internet for the answer–Hmmm, PHONICS right? I knew any good reader needed to under stand phonics so that’s where we began. I took a full year to review her phonics. I used Phonics Pathways, Flash cards, White boards, and the like. My patience was tested beyond my limits, but I had learned from my mom–to just back off. As soon as frustration was setting in, we packed it away for the day. It was a VERY slow process. And I never thought we were getting any where. After about 12 months of frustration and self-doubt (for both me and her) I went looking online again. I just knew there had to be an answer that I was missing.

What I found was Back on the Right Track Reading (www.righttrackreading.com) . It was a remedial reading program that took you through the next step. It helped you review the sounds, and then place them together, in a different way than Phonics Pathways (which took the Ba Be Bi Bo Bu approach). But this new program took it to their hands! You used 2 inch tiles that you wrote the sounds on. And you used them to work on taking the step from just saying the sounds to creating words. By using this hands on approach it took the need for my daughter to have to visualize the words in her mind and actually had her creating them in her hands. There was no need for her to keep it straight in her mind–as long as they were straight in her hands. She could just keep at it until she got it right. Her frustration level was reduced instantly!

Over the next school year my daughter went from barely being able to read (not necessarily comprehend) an early 2nd grade level–to a mid 6th grade comprehension level. Being able to switch gears and teaching style made all the difference. I have learned that for her, anything that I can get her to do hands on, is an instant success. Anything that she has to do internally is a long drawn out process. Her dyslexia has created a need to not only see things, but to work with them. Since this discovery, I have taken this into the other subjects that she struggles with. Such as math–every lesson is now done with manipulatives.

So what about the past? Do I still wish to bury it? Well yes and no. It’s not very pleasant memory-wise, but that memory did teach me to walk away when I was out of my depth. To look first, learn first, then teach it. Being a parent to a struggling child has its challenges. We just have to take the time to find out where the problem lies and keep looking for that solution.

Patty has been married to the love of her life for 14 years and has 4 kiddos she lovingly refers to as her monkeys. She is constantly threatening to run away to the Circus–unfortunately, she keeps being informed she’s already there! She loves throwing together this and that to create a unique learning experience that encourages a love of learning. Come feed their school mascot Shiver and check out her blog at Shiver Academy.

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January 21, 2010 By Debra 6 Comments

Describing my middle son has always been easy for me. He has a good amount of healthy determination. He is a problem solver and loves a physical challenge. When he’s with peers he watches them for a bit and then picks a good one to become friends with. He’s an inventor and a builder. He’s sensitive and compassionate.

And we’ve just figured out that he’s dyslexic.

While I don’t think his dyslexia is severe, it consistently gets in his way: he talked late, he uses nebulous words like “things” and “stuff” when he tries to describe things, spelling is hit-or-miss, and reading has been a very slow going process.

After reading up on this learning disability I have found out many things about its inner workings. But what’s really been made clear to me is not the severity of my son’s weaknesses but the abundance of his strengths. I’m learning that he relies heavily on context in order to understand meaning. I’m also learning that this applies to more than just words.

He understands his entire world by noting its context. He solves problems by considering the situation and calling upon his prior knowledge. He chooses friends by first noting their character. He knows how to serve others by picking up on their emotional cues. He can even find all the lost things in our house just by paying close attention to his environment. These traits demonstrate his genius ability to create sense and purpose out of the world in ways that don’t require reading. However, when it does come time to read, he perseveres through it just like any other problem he encounters, by fitting together everything he knows until it all makes sense.

I am amazed at the remarkable strengths this “disability” brings out in him – intuitiveness, creativity, and empathy among them. This new knowledge about my son doesn’t disappoint me in the slightest because I’m confident he has all the skills he’ll need to create a purposeful and fulfilling life in the years ahead. We’ll just cheer him on no matter how long it takes him to get there.

Debra Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 15 years and has three sons ages 10 and younger. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and recently moved to a new home and a new co-op in the Denver metro area. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.

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