Notebooks in hand, in we would troupe. Like little executives, my children looked purposeful. Yes, we were all excited about pancakes and the giddiness of being in a restaurant on a weekday morning, but there was more to our mood than that. It was time to plan!

Every year of homeschooling for our family began with our annual back to school planning breakfast. We waited until the day that public school went back into session (we couldn’t resist the symbolic celebration) and off we went to tackle the details of our new year.

Everyone had to come prepared with several things:

• what you liked that we did the year before,
• what you didn’t like that we did the year before,
• and what you wanted to see more of during our new school year (that answer was always the same – more field trips!).

I could generally predict what the children’s answers were going to be, but it was empowering for them to say these things themselves. They were self-evaluating; an important and often over-looked skill needed in real life. Of course, this segment of our “meeting” never failed to produce several lively retellings (and maybe a few re-enactments) of funny events that were delightful.

Next came the hard part, or so I always thought. Each of us (including mom) shared the areas where we felt like we had improved and the areas that still needed work. When we first began our back to school meetings, I thought that my children would have difficulty being open about these issues. Boy, was I wrong! I would come with my list of things they needed to improve in, and they always beat me to the punch. How encouraging, I would think. They really do get what we are saying! Their openness was actually a challenge to me to do the same. I have to say that these meetings encouraged openness on all our parts and formed a supportive bond that exists to this day. When we treated each other with the trust and respect of an important teammate, everyone’s attitude improved, even mine!

Not only did our annual meeting provide the opportunity to review our greatest hits from the year before, it also gave the children a voice. When they saw that I took their input seriously, they began to give input that was more serious. In the rush and busyness of life, it is easy to overlook listening to our children. If we quit listening for long enough, they will simply stop sharing, or find someone else who will give them the time and attention. As they grew older, listening at the meeting took on greater and greater importance, as we mapped out things like commitments to co-ops, sports and ultimately the planning out of high school.

It is not exaggerating to say that this time and planning would not have been so treasured if we had just been sitting around the table at home. The time and money I expended on them made a point, and their participation in the planning was important to me – as important as going to a convention, workshop, or mom’s meeting. In the end, it was much more important than any of those other things. There I would learn what was in other people’s hearts; here I learned what was in my children’s hearts. What greater way is there to begin a year of learning and growing together?

Check out my article on page 6 of the funky flipbook edition of Heart of the Matter Magazine.

Debbie Strayer is a veteran educator, speaker, author and home educator. She enjoys spending time with her husband of thirty years and her grown children.

Dr. Ruth Beechick, too, has spent many years teaching and writing on education. She specializes in curriculum and in how children learn. She is mother of two and grandmother of four and loves working together with Debbie because they think alike on education matters. For more books and articles, see debbiestrayer.com.