Complimenting Children

Posted by Shawnee | 0 comments

Sometimes the days just seem to fly by so fast that I barely remember what has happened throughout the day. Sometimes I just get so caught up in making it through the day I forget to give the proper attention to my child.

Children need to be reminded, even though you may feel you have said it before and it shouldn’t need to be said again, that they are okay in your eyes. I have had to struggle with the “mushy” stuff because it just isn’t my nature to pour out compliments on my children. As a child growing up, I was Daddy’s little girl. Because of my brother’s health problems, I was also Daddy’s little boy.

Being the tomboy and having to substitute in my Dad’s eyes the things a boy normally does with the Dad and learns from the Dad, I adapted to the mindset that being babied from my mom was unacceptable. Therefore, much to my mother’s dismay, whenever she would try to hug me, I would only tolerate it and then push away as quickly as possible. Not only did I shun being babied, but I thought it wrong to show the proper affection for fear of being ridiculed by my father.

As a mother, I have tried to be much different with my own children and have also learned that it is really comforting to have that connection emotionally. I have also learned what it must have been like for my own mother, and it makes me very sad.

The problem with this situation is that I forget to compliment my own daughter. I forget to tell her how special she is, how pretty, how much I enjoy her company. I must force myself to remember to reach out to her emotionally. Just telling your child once a year, once when he or she is four years old, or telling other people about your child is not enough. You must remember that you are shaping your child’s heart as well as their brain. You are being the example of what they learn is normal behavior.

Yes, boys need this reassurance as well as girls. Even if other people provide emotional connections, it is no substitute for your own.

Shawnee Bowlin is a homeschool mom of a 10th grade daughter, also an aspiring writer and artist.  She works as a veterinary technician and has been writing for the public since 2006.  She lives in Northeast Texas and enjoys animals, nature, reading, writing, and riding motorcycles.  You can visit her blog at Shawnee Paints