Diagnosis and Bringing Them Home

Diagnosis and Bringing Them Home

“Hello. My name is Sallie and I homeschool my son who has Asperger’s Syndrome.”

Sometimes it almost feels like we are introducing ourselves at a 12-step meeting when we talk about our children who have disabilities. Like maybe there is something we can do to make it all go away or make it better if we just confess our “sins” to the right group of people. The truth is, nothing we say will make our children any different than what they already are. And, really, would we want that? I think for most of us the answer would be a resounding NO!

We began the diagnosis process for Asperger Syndrome, an autistic spectrum disorder, for our son Caleb in December of 2003. It’s hard to believe we’ve just passed the 4 year mark of the initial diagnosis. He was 9 at the time and far past the normal age for diagnosis. There are many reasons for that.

First, we just thought our son was the strongest willed creature God had ever created. Really, really, REALLY strong willed! We had problems feeding. We had problems crawling. We had problems sitting. We had problems driving. We had problems sitting. We just had problems!

Second, I had been a pharmacy technician in the Air Force in the early 90’s when our first child was born, and saw many zombie-like children coming in with their parents to refill prescriptions for Ritalin, the most common drug of the day for ADD/ADHD. I also had some behind the scenes looks at the way pharmaceutical companies ran, and though I’m not completely against using medicine, I promised myself I would never have one of my children on Ritalin. Frankly, I couldn’t justify medicating my child simply to make him more tolerable for other people! When the schools started saying “He must have ADD” but their own tests showed otherwise, and yet they still pushed for medication of some sort, we refused to let them test him anymore and brought him home to learn.

Lastly, God put the right people in the right places over the years to give us just the information we needed for child rearing that was perfect for our son, in our situation, at exactly the right moments. One of my favorite scriptures throughout this time became Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” God’s timing is perfect and we have learned that lesson many times over again in the past four years.

For example, as strong as it may sound to many people, the first tip ever given to us by a parenting counselor was to restrain our son by holding him down in a dark and quiet room. Sitting quietly in the middle of the room with all four of my limbs wrapped around my then 2 year old was the first step in teaching him that tantrums, or meltdowns as they are commonly called with autistic children, would not be tolerated. The first time I sat with him lasted over an hour and I needed a nap and recovery period when it was all over.

Each time we had to do this, the time of restraint got shorter and shorter and by the end of a few weeks, I merely had to walk to the bedroom and turn off the light and the inappropriate behavior stopped immediately. We now know those tantrums were the results of over-stimulation and Caleb was processing all the sensory issues he had the only way his two year old mind could grasp to do it. God’s timing in teaching us this lesson is one that I have pondered many times.

We had to suck up our pride (BIG TIME) to enlist the help of a professional, and then we had to be consistent with holding him and whispering sweetly to him, or sometimes just not saying anything (remember your momma used to tell you if you can’t say something nice…), but I firmly believe we would not be where we are today if we hadn’t listened to that counselor. We’ve talked to many counselors since then who said they can’t believe she told us to do that. Maybe she was just “old school” in her training or something but I fully believe she was sent to us by God and I will forever be thankful to her.

During this fresh start of the new year I’d like to ask you to resolve to gain a better understanding about the uniqueness of each of your children. What can you do to help them learn better? To learn easier? The following are some great links that have been so pivotal in helping me find the information I needed to help my son, and others I know, succeed in everyday learning. I hope they will help you too!

http://www.nathhan.com/ ~ National Challenged Homeschoolers Associated Network
http://www.nacd.org/labels/homeschooling.html ~ National Association for Child Development
http://www.learningabledkids.com/ ~ Learning Abled Kids
http://www.chadd.org/ ~ Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
http://www.nhen.org/specneed/default.asp?id=271 ~ National Home Education Network
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/ ~ Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support
http://www.stompproject.org/ ~ Specialized Training of Military Parents (specifically for military members with special needs children)
http://www.uniquelygifted.org/ ~ Uniquely Gifted: Resources for Gifted Children with Special Needs
http://www.joniandfriends.org/ ~ Joni Eareckson Tada: offers camps for disabled children and family retreats
http://www.awana.org/parents/default.aspx?id=84 ~ AWANA clubs are great resources to teach your children social and emotional skills in a loving Christ-centered environment!
http://christianadhd.com/index.php ~ ADHD of the Christian Kind
http://www.woodbinehouse.com/ ~ Books on Special Needs Education
http://www.dougflutiejrfoundation.org/index.php ~ Doug Flutie Jr Foundation for Autism
http://www.bazzo.net/ ~ Jacobsen Syndrome/11Q Terminal Deletion Disorder
http://www.bartonreading.com/ ~ Help for your child with Dyslexia
http://www.interdys.org/ ~ International Dyslexia Association
http://www.therapeutichomeschooling.org/ ~ Help for homeschooling your child with Bipolar Disorder

Sallie is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her column “The Square Peg”, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone in a round hole world.

Tags: austism, Encouragement, homeschooling, links, Special Needs

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