Doing or Being?

Posted by Christine | 0 comments

My default is doing.

I rush about planning, copying, teaching, cooking, washing, and folding.  Even reading aloud is sometimes simply an item on my to-do list.  I have a tendency to search for worth in what I can get done and feel discouraged when I realize that it will never all get done.

Did you hear that?

It will never all get done.

The to-do list will always have more on it that needs to be crossed off.  The clothes everyone wore today will be laundry tomorrow.  The phone will always ring, emails will continue to trickle in, and dinner will always need to be made and cleaned up.

If we go about life with our children as if we have to finish our tasks before we simply are able to be with them, they will never know us.  They will only know the blur of activity that surrounds us.

“Mom, can you play tic-tac-toe with me?”

“In a few minutes…”

“Mom can you look at the picture I made?”

“As soon as I finish this…”

“Mom, will you go outside and help me on my bike?”

“After I start dinner we can…”

It sounds neat and tidy and holy to just say we need to drop all of our tasks and sit down  more often with our children to snuggle, play, draw, laugh, and actively spend time with them.  But the reality is not always that easy.  There really are things that need to be done, errands that need to be run, and bills that need to be paid.  For homeschool moms especially, doing is a necessity to make it through our crazy days.

So how can we find the balance between the doing and the being?

I think we can begin by taking three steps toward “being” while not neglecting the actual “doing” that has to take place:

Plan:  Make an attempt to consciously and realistically create a to-do list that accommodates some free time, even half an hour.  We, as homeschool moms, are with our children all day every day, but much of that time is spent on “tasks.”  Use that half hour to explore bugs outside, take a walk, play a rousing game of Clue.  What, on your to-do list, can be put off?  A load of laundry?  An extra errand?

Find:  Find those moments in the day, however brief, to do something spontaneous.  A squirt gun fight for 5 minutes perhaps?  Have lunch on a blanket on the living room floor instead of at the table?  It won’t take up extra time, but it will communicate intention and love to your children.

Choose:  Choose to respond, even in busyness, with a smile and loving word.  In our quest to “get it all done” this is what can be hardest for me.  I get focused on my task and can’t switch gears quickly enough to show how much my children mean to me in the little things, the little moments, when they come to show me their treasures, their hearts.  As mommies, sharing hearts shouldn’t take a backseat.

I am a work in progress, a recovering perfectionist, “doing” mom, and I often spend my quiet times in thought, trying to figure out where the balance is for us.  The baby steps we take each day toward “being” with our children will bear fruit later as they look back and remember our loving, intentional hearts, visible even amidst the tasks in our time with them.

Christine Hiester is a Christian, homeschooling mom to three boys and a girl, ranging in age from 10 to 3 years old. She is a musician by trade, eclectic in homeschool style, and continues to grow and learn along with her children in this journey of life and discipleship at home. Visit her blog at Fruit in Season.