A while back I had a dream.

In this dream I was looking through my camera lens and I saw a plate. The plate was resting precariously on a the point of a triangle…a yellow triangle. I could see many things around the plate and triangle. Birds were flying around peacefully. Butterflies. Bright white clouds were floating by. The scene was strangely peaceful, yet also disturbing. Only I could not figure out why it was disturbing.

Suddenly my dream zoomed in and as I turned the focus on the camera I realized why I was disturbed. Because there, in the middle of the plate, stood a woman I recognized. Yet I couldn’t quite place her. I squinted my eyes to realize I was looking at a very stressed version of myself. My legs were spread like a two legged tri-pod, my body was leaned forward slightly and my arms were held straight out, forming a T of my body. I was biting my lips. My chest was heaving. Every once in a while I would shift a tiny bit, let myself relax, only to gasp and straighten back up.

Looking at the dream I was confused as to why was I so determined to stand in a certain position? I pulled the zoom back on my camera and gasped at what I saw.

There on the plate I was surrounded. My children sitting precariously and reaching for me to support them. My job making demands I couldn’t meet. My Mom calling to me “Sheri, I need you to answer the phone”. My husband begging me for a hug. School books toppled around me. And two dogs ran and jumped wanting petted. Like balls in a empty endless bowl everyone swirled around and around one. If I tipped to one side I was going to lose my Mom, to the other side my children would tumble off like leaves tumbling in the fall. I held my breath. I stood, every muscle in my body tensed. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t save the school books because if I did Mike might fall.

Suddenly a white dove flew in to the dream. I pushed it away. “go…shoo…shoo” I whispered and lightly moved my hand. “Please, don’t land here…go go!” But the dove looked at me in understanding, cleanly ignored me and landed on my outstretched hand.

And the plate tipped. I scrambled to regain my footing. I screamed “NO!” as I watched my family tumble off of the plate. I cried out “Please God, PLEASE HELP ME!” and suddenly the plate tipped further. Fear gripped my heart as I attempted to gain footing, running in socks on the slick porcelain. “No no no no no!!” I cried out. I slid down the plate grabbing the edge at the last second.

Oh how my fingers hurt. I couldn’t let go. I just couldn’t. Why wasn’t God helping me? Confusion filled my heart. “God, help me please!” I cried again. My fingers were white with my grip, which was now slipping. Sweat ran into my eyes and tears ran down my face as my last finger lost it’s grip and I slid into nothingness.

And I was falling. Falling.

With a soft Whomp! I settled down on what felt like a cloud. I looked up into the faces of my family. I looked around. And I realized, I was held securely in the hand of God.

I pulled the zoom back on my camera of my dream further. Where before I had stopped at the triangle now I could see the entire scene. Yes, I was on a plate, a plate I had built myself. And I was on a triangle. One I had set up to hold the plate. The triangle and the plate? They were held securely in the hand of God.

Do you set your expectations too high? Do you try to do it all without God? It’s an easy trap to fall into. But remember He really does care and He really will catch you.

Psalm 9:10

10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Sheri (with the help of her fabulous husband Mike) began homeschooling her four children in 2001. She spends her time creating whatever she can out of nothing to make her house more homey, creating lesson plans, and listening to her son’s garage band and writing how God is carrying her out of the depths of depression. You can catch up with Sheri at her blog, be sure to check out the on-going Love Story she and her husband are writing while you are there!