Every Mom Needs Some “Me” Time

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Have you ever read an article on this topic? Maybe heard a speaker? I have on both counts. Unfortunately, most of the time when this subject matter is discussed, I come away with a bad taste in my mouth. It is not that I don’t think that every mother has individual needs, of course they do. No, it is more the way that being a mother is portrayed as being a tedious and negative experience. It bothers me when the raising of children is referenced as an inconvenience rather than what it is: a challenging yet fulfilling job with vast benefits. While it may be true that mothers need a few moments to themselves, we can encourage this without dragging the name of parenting through the mud. As Homeschooling moms, it is especially important to keep a positive view of our circumstances as we spend more time than most with our children.

Raising kids is hard. There are good days and there are some very dark days. They can be noisy, messy, cranky, obnoxious, difficult and disobedient. They cannot be expected to be little adults – they haven’t been here that long! They are still learning so much about the world. Furthermore, children are blessings. They should be viewed in that light, not as little terrors. Being a homeschool mom is a big job – and with any big job, it is easy to get burned out. But what is really gained by telling a mother how awful her life is and how she really “should get out more often.” That is not very helpful. Most of the articles I’ve read on the topic encourage moms to go out to lunch with friends, get a manicure, or take a weekend retreat with their husbands. In my experience, in the rare event that I manage to save up the funds to do something for myself, plus the cost of childcare, I return to a bigger job than I left behind. Coming home to a mountain of laundry, clingy kids who feel left behind and a house that the babysitter failed to keep picked up isn’t on my list of rejuvenating experiences.

Wouldn’t it be nice if, instead of being encouraged to ditch our kids and look elsewhere for renewal, that we were encouraged to look for ways to relax in our own homes with our own children? It would certainly be more economical, and possibly happen more often!

You can approach every day as a nightmare, constantly looking forward to a (mythical?) moment where the stars align, you are alone and relaxed. Or you can look for those moments without putting life on hold. Here are some things that help me relax:

1). Exercise. Exercise gives me extra energy for life that I simply do not have if I neglect this area. If you cannot bring yourself to get up in the morning before your spouse leaves and get this done, don’t fret (or write it off). Pack up the kids in the wagon or stroller, have the bigger children ride bikes and take a walk.

2) Get out of the house. An alarming amount of people are Vitamin D deficient. Sure you could remedy this by popping a vitamin, but why not get yourself and the kids outside and bask in some sunshine? Get out in nature for at least 15 minutes a day. Work in the garden while your kids play in the sprinkler. Eat a picnic, read books on a quilt, take a nap with the baby! Besides all that lovely fresh air, the kids are outside and therefore not making a huge mess out of your house. Bonus!

3) Implement rest time for everyone, regardless of age. In our family it is quiet time in the afternoon. The big kids can look at a book or maybe watch a movie. I don’t let myself do chores during rest time. I try to read, do a devotional or catch up on some crafts. It may only last 30 minutes, but it gives me the extra boost I need to make it through until bedtime.

4) Make a list of the things that you like to do to relax. This will be different for everyone. Each individual mom has her own needs, and you need to be able to identify those to better your chances of accomplishing them. Instead of collapsing on the couch in front of the TV when the kids finally get to sleep, take a bath or paint your nails…do the things you can’t when they are awake. Be intentional about the alone time you DO have and you won’t feel cheated in the morning.

5) Get plenty of rest. For me this is vital. I simply cannot be an effective mother on 4 hours of sleep. I need more. We usually do not get up until 8 or 830 around here.

Finally, remember that the Lord seeks to give us rest – yes even us homeschool mothers!

Matthew 11:28 says

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Please share your ideas for getting “Me time” amidst the daily work of raising children!

Lydia Will is a second generation homeschool mom raising her kids in Southern Michigan.  When she isn’t drilling A-B-C’s and 1-2-3′s, she’s blogging encouragement at www.smalltownsimplicity.blogspot.com.