Father’s Day: What’s My Role?

Posted by Lori | 0 comments

By Scott MacMath
Husband of HOTM writer Lori MacMath

“Hon…..”
“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!”

These two words help define me. I would like to tell you I have a fancy title around our house. Something like “Principal”, “CEO” or even “Superintendent”, but I’d only be kidding myself. I am defined by the call of those who love me, “Hon” and “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!”

So, with that I introduce myself to you as a humble, yet much needed Homeschool Dad.

As I was installing an update on the computer last night (did I mention “IT Analyst?”), and with the knowledge that I was already LATE with my HOTM article, I began thinking what exactly ARE my defined roles around here? Or, better yet, what SHOULD my roles be? Not just as a husband and father, but as a HOMESCHOOLING husband and father.

My intended audience for this article is all the fellow “Dad’s & Hon’s” out there that can relate to these questions. For those like me that go off to work each day, leaving Wife/Teacher/Mom at home (or in our case, downstairs) to educate, edify and overall make our house a home. **Side note – ‘She Who Will Be Obeyed’ just looked over my shoulder and added, “If you need help with that list, I have a plenty to add!” So, let it be known that the aforementioned list of tasks does not come near doing justice to all that “She Who Will Be Obeyed” is responsible for on a daily basis. For those Dad’s that are brave and patient enough to actually assume THAT role in your house, a collective tip of the hat from the rest of us! For those of you still trying to answer questions about your role, read on.

Nearly 5 years ago, after many months of contemplation, confusion and prayer, we came to the decision that homeschooling our 3 children would be the best option for them. The operative word being “them” because neither my wife nor I were remotely prepared for the challenges that lay ahead. All we knew at the time was if the Lord was calling us to it (and He showed us enough stops signs for other routes to let us know that), then we’d better do it!

Thus the journey began.

That started my struggles with exactly what my role was supposed to be in this whole homeschooling thing. Public school educated and holding a stereotyped view of what a homeschool family looked like, I hardly seemed like a good choice to LEAD my family through this. As a pastor of ours once said “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” And I needed a bunch of qualifying! I’ve learned so much these past five years. Life lessons that I would never have had the chance to experience. I’ve learned about what “commitment” really means, I’ve learned about strengths and weakness of my family that I may never have seen, I’ve learned how to pick curriculum, about how much homeschooling REALLY costs, but really I’ve learned the most about who we are and what we can truly be as a family. That’s right; homeschooling to us has been about committing TOGETHER to something much bigger than ourselves. To use a Texas Hold Em’ term, to be successful in homeschooling, everyone needs to be “ALL IN!”

I stumbled across this quote not long ago and it summed up quite a bit for me:

~Do more than exist: live.

~Do more than touch: feel.

~Do more than look: observe.

~Do more than read: absorb.

~Do more than hear: listen.

~Do more than listen: understand.

~Do more than think: reflect.

~Do more than just talk: say something.

~author unknown

This talks to daily values that we TRY to use in our lives and have learned through the process of homeschooling. We have begun to live, feel, absorb, listen, understand and reflect as never before. It’s funny to reflect on it now, I do play roles as the Superintendent, the Principal and the Accountant, but the bigger parts I play are supporting roles. It’s like being the Lead Actor and the Supporting Actor in a film all at the same time. (Or, for those of us more inclined to sports analogies, like being the quarterback AND the right guard!) I have had occasion to “call” someone into MY OFFICE to discuss circumstances that only the role of a Superintendent would handle, or make decisions on educational direction that a Principal would make, but I do most of my work in the supporting roles.

Below are a few of the roles I’ve identified as key to my success as Homeschool Dad:

• Spiritual Leadership – and I’ve lead and grown in ways that I never knew I could
• Moral support and guidance for my wife – as she serves this family in ways I can’t measure.
• Financial support – keeping this “boat afloat” along with the many trips to Staples and Costco!
• And occasionally… I provide the janitorial support that no good organization can do without! (Let it be said that NO ONE can operate a plunger quite like DAD!)

I have come to realize that the various roles I play are vital in our home. Not as a passenger or passive participant, but as a driver, engaged with hands on the wheel and eyes focused on the road ahead and the kids in the backseat. As a Dad those roles have always been needed, but they become that much more critical in a homeschooling family. I am the one my wife looks to for encouragement on her journey in her roles, to provide professional feedback that she doesn’t get during the day, but as a world-class teacher she deserves. Our family is in this together. A journey I was not fully prepared for up front, but one that I learn something new from each day. Together we know we can give OUR children OUR best, and in the end that is all God asks of us.

So there it is. Commit to the journey, go ALL IN, define yourself by YOUR actions as a homeschool Dad in your family. Whether writing a check, plunging a toilet, helping with homework or giving a well-timed hug, ALL of these and more are part of the support required of a homeschool Dad. And, above all else, pray, teach your children how to pray, and find that grace and guidance for your life that can only come from Him.

Just call me,

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad”