The Garden of the Heart

Proverbs 4:23 ~ Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

The heart is the center of homeschooling – and homeschooling is a “choice of the heart”. Chances are if you are reading this, your heart is already tied in some way with Jesus and your kids. You probably already know what a Homeschool day looks like. You might have even been homeschooling for a while now. No matter what stage of home education you find yourself in… the newbie, the elementary 3-5 year homeschooler, the old pro with high-schoolers and graduates… we all need to have our hearts recharged. It never hurts to stop and reflect to see what our heart’s purposes are.

The Bible asks that we “guard” our hearts – not to keep them under lock and key – but to carefully and deliberately choose the things we allow our hearts to focus on. Homeschool moms are the heart of our homes… another reason to be watchful of what our hearts are set on. Are we hiding God’s word in our hearts? Are we weaving cords of loving-kindness for our mate? Are we looking for ways to bond with our kids and show them our love? Or have we allowed the holy calling of God to educate our children to become a list we are checking off or a rushed routine? Are we seeing God in the details of our daily moments?

“In raising children, everything depends on the love relationship between the parent and child. Nothing works well if a child’s love needs are not met. Only the child who feels genuinely loved and cared for can do her best. You may truly love your child, but unless she feels it – unless you speak the love language that communicates to her your love – she will not feel loved.” ~ Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D. – The Five Love Languages of Children

So What are Heartstrings?

Heartstrings are the things that keep you tied together… the things that connect you to the Lord, to your purposes for Him, to your husband and children’s hearts… and to the joy that living in Christ can bring. Heartstrings don’t grow undirected. Thought, purpose and selfless service go in to the nurturing of the heart. If we aren’t careful with the garden in our hearts, we could find even after a life of keeping our homes… that there are more weeds in our garden than blooming flowers and fruits.

Proverbs 14:10 ~ Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.

Our lives are on one hand full of togetherness, and on the other very isolated. Just look at our society – the inner city neighborhoods of our grandparent’s generation has given way to the cookie-cutter suburbs of today where it is rare for people to know any of their neighbors. Even within our own homes, it is easy to be distracted by the television, the gameboy, the business of chores and school, and even the computer. Moments of quality time where hearts are mingling are so precious and often overlooked for the other pressing duties that engulf us.

So how can we plant the seeds that will grow into fruitful heartstrings? How can we fill the “love tanks” in our family? How can we have time to purpose a plan of loving action when there are lesson plans to make… babies to feed… laundry to wash… a house to clean… dinners to cook… disasters to tend to? How can we keep everyone in the family (not just the kids) plugged in to the Lord and to each other?

Here are some steps to making strong and healthy heartstrings:

1. Seek the Lord and teach His word to our children:

This one goes without saying, and yet can’t be said enough. The master gardener is waiting to rub a little of his Godly Green Thumb off on us every morning. He’s watching the sunrise with anticipation for each day… because He created us to know, love, believe, and worship Him. Many times we burn our hands in nettle and bleed from sticker-burrs because we just won’t find time to sit down with Him (so He can put our garden gloves on: The Holy Spirit).

Deuteronomy 4:9 ~ Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Psalm 27:8 ~ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Psalm 86:11 ~ Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

2. Allow our hearts to move (and pray for God to move them):

Life is stressful. Praying yourself up ahead of time in the day can offer you fresh eyes to see a moment as it happens… one you don’t want to miss. I find that if I’m focused on myself, I tend to overlook the love that is blooming all around me. I would hate to be the one who lives in the garden but never stops to smell the flowers. How about you? The great thing is, God can give you supernatural power to set down the dishrag and pick up the child to enjoy a hug. He can show you the bruised knee you overlooked because it wasn’t bleeding… and open your own heart to the opportunity to create a heartstring by “being there” for your babies. Isn’t it sad that we can all be in the same house and still not be THERE? Allowing your heart to move is letting the focus turn outward rather than inward. It is the heart of the gospel of Christ. Loving His sheep.

Ezra 1:5 ~ Then the family heads of Judah and Benjamin, and the priests and Levites—everyone whose heart God had moved—prepared to go up and build the house of the LORD in Jerusalem.

3. Communicate (seek to be a better listener and share your heart):

Communicating with each other is easier said than done. I know for me, I tend to tune those knock-knock jokes out after about the fifth one. Listening to every little game-play on x-box that seems so interesting to my son is another quick way to turn mommy’s brain off. Sometimes I just don’t WANT to know how my husband’s day was at work (particularly if mine was rotten at home). Sometimes attitude is in the way of our ears. Remind yourself (and continue to pray through the day) that you want “ears to hear” and “eyes to see”. Make a note in your dayplanner each day to spend some one-on-one time with each family member… even the cat. You’ll find that if you prepare your ears to listen your heart will follow.

Psalm 49:3 ~ My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding.

4. Give of yourself (find a way to serve the ones you love):

Serving your child or husband doesn’t mean enabling them. Every kid needs to know how to cook and clean for themselves. Seeking ways to show your love might mean taking on one of their chores for the night, doing something for them that only you could do: bake a favorite dessert, make a quilt, help them learn a new hobby, or just spend time down on the floor playing with them. Sometimes your presence is all they need to know that you are choosing to love them right at that moment.

Psalm 21:2 ~ You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah

5. Sing and laugh together (not just academics are necessary in life):

Life is short. Live a little. I got some great advice on a Walton’s show once that I think should be on every homeschool mother’s refrigerator: “A person can only handle so much gloom.” How often do your kids ask you “Mommy, what’s wrong?” We are quick to point a finger across the kitchen table when the kids give us a knitted brow after we ask them to do a Math worksheet, but how often are we moms a smiling example of joy for the kids to model? Maybe if we smiled more, it would become easier to laugh and be a kid at heart. It might just help to schedule time for singing if we aren’t already breaking in to song because we are having fun. Just like in Mary Poppins, maybe it is time to go “fly a kite” before the kids are grown and we have run out of time.

Psalm 28:7 ~ The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalm 97:11 ~ Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.

Psalm 105:3 ~ Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.

Proverbs 15:13 ~ A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

The focus of this column is the heart of homeschooling. In the months to come, I plan to bring you a touch of the joy I have found through learning to see the beauty in a moment. Life is a series of moments that were given to us by our creator… each one unique and fleeting… a smile, a laugh, a tear, a sigh. I’ve found that even on those awful days when everything is going wrong, you can still pick out a moment that was beautiful. You never know what each day of Homeschool will bring… but if you are tending the garden, you’ll be amazed at the delicious fruits that will grow from your labor of love. May the Son shine on your soil and raise up a crop of loveliness in the hearts of your home.

From my heart to yours…

Sprittibee (Heather) has been homeschooling for 6 years and has one crazy husband, 2 crazy kids (ages 9 and 11) and 2 crazy cats. When she isn’t making Tex-Mex, learning web design, homeschooling, or rubbing her face on the cat’s belly… she loves to blog. In her column “Heartstrings for Homeschoolers,” she reminds us to stop and smell the proverbial flowers on this journey we call homeschooling. Not every day will be a great one. She admonishes us to learn to focus on the beauty of the moments God has blessed us with – for better or for worse… because our hearts are shaped by the memories we are making.