Getting It Right

Posted by Sallie | 0 comments

If there is a single lesson that I continue to learn on a daily basis with my children, it is that I need to make sure I get this right. My children are growing and developing faster than I can keep up with most days with interruptions and activities abounding in every direction I turn. In all of the hubbub of life, I have realized that quite often learning moments usually only occur once or twice before we’ve moved on to something new. I have to stay on my toes and never let these teachable moments pass me by. This is especially true with our son Caleb. School can be a great source of frustration for him. To be honest, he was left behind way too often under the “no child left behind” program when he was in public school and he wasn’t able to focus enough on multiple tasks like they expected him to do. Caleb still can’t multi-task yet I can usually do 50 different things at once. Homeschooling allows for the slow pace he needs to succeed. Sometimes, though, I forget this small lesson and I push too hard. Unfortunately, meltdowns and crying sessions are my usual reminders that I have moved on before Caleb was ready. I want so much for my son. I want him to succeed. I want him to be “normal” but thankfully reality sets in and I realize that he really IS normal for him and I’m just being a mean ole pushy bully like those kids in school were.

Caleb is not the only special needs child within our extended family. My niece has Jacobsen Syndrome. This is a rare genetic disorder where part of the 11th chromosome is missing. Depending on which part of the 11q24 band is missing, the problems these children have will vary. Our niece, Jordan, has had many surgeries in the past including heart surgery, eye muscle surgery, and reconstructive surgery on her scalp. One of the issues these children face is that many of their muscles and organs are placed differently than what is typical and so when the doctors go into surgery, they don’t always find things in the places they expected them to be. This makes for longer surgical time and usually a longer recuperation time as well. Jordan has several more surgeries coming up in the near future. She is currently in a class in a public school. However, she has been homeschooled in the past and when she has her surgeries (which puts her out of school for a while) my sister in law, Beka, keeps up with her studies with her. I recently talked to Beka on the phone and asked her to tell me what her focuses were when she teaches Jordan. All too often I am still stuck on getting all the “right” things done, and Beka put things into perspective for me. It was exactly the conversation I needed to hear!

Here are a few of her tips:

Lifeskills are more important than rote memorization of trivial facts.
Some children with special needs or disabilities may never have full or part
time jobs BUT they will need to know how to take care of their own hygiene,
and perhaps even to cook, clean, and do their laundry. Lifeskills are
pretty much the same thing over and over again. Frankly, you don’t have to worry
about failing Lifeskills 201 if you have Lifeskills Basic down
pat as some lessons pretty much never change!

Have your child memorize scripture. Special needs children can be
very naive and easily led astray by a good sounding doctrine. If your child
memorizes scripture and writes it on the table of their heart,
then they are less likely to allow themselves to be put in a situation where
they can be taken advantage of. We aren’t always going to be there for our
children. It’s a hard thought to ponder at times but we have to
be honest with ourselves about this. Make sure your children know what they
believe and why.

Don’t sell your child short. Just because they can’t recite pi out 5000
places doesn’t mean they can’t learn their multiplication table or make
correct change at the grocery store. Public schools have a bad habit of dumbing
everything down so that the least learned child doesn’t feel bad about being
behind. Don’t fall into this trap with your child. Having special needs does not
mean our children are stupid. Many times these children have brilliant minds and
can learn and grasp many things! Teach them to their level and always allow for
that level to expand and grow.

Teach your child to read! This goes right along with teaching your children scripture. Not everyone in this world is honest and good, though I’d like to
believe most folks are. If your child can read, there is nothing they can’t
learn! They will also be more apt to catch when someone is feeding them a line
and they can protect themselves. Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
was written by folks with a background of helping special needs childrin. If you
are having problems and need to try an alternative route, give this book a try.

Don’t worry about competing with other homeschool parents, or public school
parents to have the bestest and brightest of children! Teaching Gods character
and His Word are much more important traits for your child to learn! Look, we
are all gonna fail sometime and everyone can’t always be the best at everything.
Wouldn’t you rather it not be in raising Godly children that you
fail?

Pray. Never stop praying! Some days are going to just be hard! Those are
the days you need Christ to carry you the most. Your child needs Him to carry
them, too! Pray for your child today. Pray for your childs future. Pray without
ceasing!

Beka reminded me of many things that I too often get busy and allow myself to forget on a daily basis. I was reminded that I need to have a vision for each of my children! Psalm 139: 13-16 says “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

God had a vision for each of my children as He formed them within me. Perhaps science will tell us that our childrens chromosomes don’t match up or their DNA is wrong but I’ve learned that God doesn’t always follow the laws of science. He has His own hands in the mix and sometimes things might not look the way science in all of its wisdom tells us it should. Our lives have purpose. They have meaning. God in all of His glorious wisdom knew what special challenges we would face in our lives when He breathed the breath of life into each one of us, and each one of our children. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made! Why not spend some time this month with your child memorizing Psalm 139:13-16? Hide those words in your heart and keep them ever present in your mind!

Sallie is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone in a round hole world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales.