Getting to Know My Children

Posted by Barbara | 0 comments

Having seven children has done wonders for my memory. There are so many things to remember about kids: Birthdays; shoe sizes; favorite color; what grade they are in (*ahem*); and what color they are wearing when we go to a crowded park so I can pick them out of a crowd like a paranoid mother counting to seven approximately every 3 minutes might need to do (*ahem* again).

But here is what I’ve been noticing lately: I can know things about my child without really, really knowing them. Does that make sense? There are lots of basic facts about them that help me keep health and safety matters in check, but what about knowing them well enough to help them thrive?

Proverbs 22:6 is familiar territory for most of us. It reads: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Good to know. But what does that mean? For some of us it means simply raising them in a Christian home, trusting that once we’ve instilled a faith in their hearts, they won’t walk away from the Lord as they get older.

For some of us, it means teaching and training them according to their specific, God-given gifts and abilities so that they can walk on the vocational path God intended for them.

The question remains, how do we know our kids well enough to point them down that road? I can know their vital statistics and never *really* know them well enough to direct them well.

My husband and I have been working through these issues with our kids. We clearly see that each of our seven children is a real individual with a specific purpose for their life, and so we want to deal with them according to that bent. Where do we start?

There are several tools that we can use that help us get a wider knowledge base of our kids. First of all, look at this “Love Languages for Kids” quiz.  We went through this with our five oldest, and I was surprised by some of the results. I thought I knew some of my children’s love languages and I had pegged them completely incorrectly. Now, with this little tool, I can communicate love to my children in a way that they easily receive. That will allow them to feel built up and encouraged in those skills I want them to develop.

Also, consider reading The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias, if you haven’t already, to get a bit of insight into how to best communicate to them not only academic subjects, but also spiritual truths and vocational skills.

For your older children, consider having them take a personality test like the Myers-Briggs test to better understand your child’s strengths and weaknesses, and possibly even what type of career to direct them towards.

Of course, the best resource for knowing your children is the Word of God and the Holy Spirit’s speaking to your heart as a parent. James says in his letter that if we desire wisdom (and I believe that includes wisdom in regards to parenting and homeschooling), that we should ask God who generously gives all to us (James 1:5-6). I challenge you this week, as I challenge myself, to be a parent who earnestly seeks to know our children well, and to ask the Lord to show us his plan and his will for their lives. And then to pray that he will give us the wisdom to know how to help them walk in that path.

If you have other resources that you would recommend on how to really know your child, please leave a comment so that we can benefit from one another.

Barbara Postma and her husband, as they homeschool their 7 children, are finding out that no two children are alike! Between lessons and lunches, Barbara blogs at Fuel by Barbara.