Do you find yourself saying these words often: “Oh, give me a break!”? Well, first let’s look at how often you give breaks yourself.

If there is tension between you and your child, maybe, just maybe, part of it can be relieved when you give the break instead of expecting it for yourself. Parents can become so wrapped up in themselves and their own responsibilities that they forget how much pressure they put on their children.

If you are rushed, too busy too often, can’t seem to get a break….there is a chance you are spreading the tension to your child. Sometimes the reason your child acts out is because you won’t make time for what is more important. Maybe as a parent you are expecting your child to be tough enough to handle the pressure. How can your child handle the pressure when you can’t? You’re the adult! Are you secretly pushing your child out of the childhood he or she deserves because of all the responsibilities you have undertaken for yourself?

Do you expect your child to do so much that one day the result is a tantrum or a burst of tears because of the pressure? When is the last time you gave your child a break? Now is the time to stop, breathe deeply, and take stock of your situation. If you are thinking, “I don’t have time for that,” then you are in even more need of doing so. There are times when you simply must make the time.

Parents want to make their children’s lives better than their own. This can create so much pressure that it reverses what you are trying to accomplish. Are you really trying to make your child’s life better than your own or are you trying to make up for your own regrets from your childhood? Maybe you didn’t have a pony, so you want to give your own child a pony because you didn’t have one. Does your child even want a pony? Is that pony so important that it is worth the sacrifices you are having to make to get it or keep it? Would you child be better off if they had your attention instead of the attention you are putting on trying to get that pony?

Often the most important things about a parent/child relationship are easily overlooked: time and attention. What good are the material things if you can’t enjoy them? Your child might have that expensive skateboard, but if there is no mom or dad there to watch the tricks learned from using it, it loses value.

Maybe you need to give yourself a break. If you teach your child to overload schedules so that there is no time for the two of you to enjoy each other, you are losing part of an important reward in parenting…the bonding. If cleaning Susie’s bedroom is a hassle because Mom’s schedule is too full and Mom’s schedule affects little Susie, you are creating the problem and then dumping the pressure on your child. Does the clean bedroom mean more than thirty minutes of hugs and listening?

Before you yell at your child to give you a break, make sure you aren’t the problem in the first place. Teaching involves time management skills, prioritizing, bonding, respecting each other’s needs, and understanding. It also involves taking and giving breaks.

Shawnee Bowlin is a homeschool mom of a 10th grade daughter, also an aspiring writer and artist. She works as a veterinary technician and has been writing for the public since 2006. She lives in Northeast Texas and enjoys animals, nature, reading, writing, and riding motorcycles. You can visit her blog at Shawnee Paints