Giving all

Posted by Peggy | 0 comments

I recently made the comment on a message board that despite whatever education model a parent chooses for their child/children, they should give it their all.

It was – of course – taken the wrong way. This is often the case on internet message boards where tone and facial expressions and inflections do not exist. I did not mean that a parent should give up their entire ‘self’ or that they were a bad parent if they did not. I had quite something else in mind when I said it.

I have known parents with kids in public – private – and yes, even home schoolers – who really do not participate in their kids’ education.

They let them meander around and are seemingly shocked when it turns out the child is struggling. As parents, I believe it is our job to ensure our kids get the proper tools to succeed.

That doesn’t mean I am the only provider of said tools.

As I have shared before, all three of our kids are on the autism spectrum. Each has a co-morbid condition that makes things even more challenging. If I tried to do it ‘all’ myself then I’d wind up doing nothing. I know this because I did try to do it all.

This year I resolved to outsource when necessary. To try new things and explore other avenues to help the boys get the best education they can. This is my ‘all’. This meant seeking out a tutor for my son with dyslexia. It also meant a complete change in our schooling.

I love unit studies. I love the classical education model.

My kids don’t. It was frustrating them and, consequently, me. I made the difficult decision to switch to another model – textbooks.

And they are doing much better. They know what is expected of them, what they need to accomplish each day and it is much easier to asses their progress. I might find it boring and too much like public school, but it fits their need and if I am giving my ‘all’ then I must go with their need.

I have interests, I have other activities in my life that don’t revolve solely around the children. I used to be that Mom who could talk of nothing but her kids and if I don’t watch myself, I do tend to ramble on about them. I, too, have some autistic- like traits and the all or nothing part seems to be one of them. Over the years I have learned to see the shades of gray – and to let go and let God.

Proverbs 3:5 ‘Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.’

That doesn’t mean that is the path I personally prefer, but it means it’s the one I should be on. And I believe that is how I give my ‘all’ in educating the children God has entrusted to my care.

Peggy Dalley has been married to her best friend and husband for 14 years. She uses the eclectic approach to homeschool their three sons, 12, 10 and 7. Her interests include writing unit studies, Bible study, history and she is working hard to become a Proverbs 31:10 woman instead of a Proverbs 21:9 woman.