God’s Simple Math

Posted by Belinda | 0 comments

There are moments on your homeschooling journey where a bird’s eye “state of the union” view can be helpful, and even revelatory.    I had one of these moments recently.   What I figured out, in simply stepping back from it all, is the power of a word spoken in the right season.

For the past couple of years our children have reached the age and ability that we now homeschool one high schooler, one middle schooler, and one elementary school-aged child.     I don’t take lightly that our children are considered “normal,” by most people’s standards, and so we’ve been able to focus far more on long-term planning, curriculum tweaks and post-homeschool prep than someone who has to focus on more day-to-day needs.     I say that, however, remembering a time when, for different reasons, our journey was more day-to-day.    Our oldest–a very bright child–was quite content to dwell in mediocrity.    What that meant for me as the primary home educator was that, at a time when I was just beginning to feign confidence that I could do this, her behaviors would send me into that spiral of uncertainty, anxiety, and doubt.    She saw no problem taking her time to complete assignments, sometimes not completing them, and looking at me as if something were wrong with me to be so upset about this lack of effort.    I can remember being so angry at times until it felt as if I could feel the blood rushing from my neck upward into my head.    I can remember the countless conversations that my husband and I had, with him trying to soothe my furrowed brow and me trying to hang on to the last thread of determination available.    “Just put her in public school, even if it’s just a year.   She’ll learn,” he’d say, out of his love for me and my obvious frustration.   I knew deep down that this wasn’t the will of God; I just didn’t see far enough down the road to hang on until His vision became mine.

As one of a number of examples, our oldest has always excelled at writing.   We still have saved copies of her early short stories, and we often encouraged this writing ability in her gifts—journals and book-making tools, opportunities to write in our homeschool community, and contests.    When a local homeschool group established a newspaper for the children by the nd children, I thought it was a golden opportunity for her.    She wanted no parts of it.   I, however, was insistent, and forced her to at least try one meeting.   When I returned to pick her up a couple of hours later, the common denominator of everyone’s comments–children and adults alike–was “WOW!”    She had such insightful ideas and abilities, and there was even talk of her taking over the newspaper as a student lead.    Though she warmed up to contributing heavily to the magazine, she never stepped up to this level of leadership.    I was disappointed, but I knew enough by then to take my boasts in the Lord where I could, less I snuff out any long-term interest in writing in making the newspaper lead become “what Mom made me do.”

In a move that was uncharacteristic of me, I remember sharing–no, complaining, if truth be told–my angst with a more seasoned homeschooling mom.   I say it was ‘uncharacteristic’ because I hated the fact that we were struggling; it implied, in my mind, that I was failing as a home educator.   She shared a testimony regarding her oldest son that sounded much like the same story I’d been writing (mentally and emotionally) for a couple of years.    To see this kid, I’d never have thought it.   Yet, her gentle words to me were, “You just stay consistent with what you’ve been called to do.   She’ll come around.”

I’m not sure if I was smart enough to receive that word at the time; I was too mired down in the right here and right now.   But, if nothing else, I was obedient.   Fast-forwarding a few years–and, yes, it took a while for the “coming around” to manifest–it is difficult to remember that I was ever so concerned that I might have to put her in a traditional environment so that she’d “get it.”    She is now a very industrious young lady who has bought into the hard work on her plate and why that is necessary at this stage in the game.   She is fully on board with the plans we have for her, and she is totally okay with making the sacrifices to reach our agreed-upon goals.

The Biblical character Jacob gives us a profound lesson in the payoff of consistency.   His “goal,” so to speak, was Rachel.   We see in Genesis 28:17-18 that Rachel was ‘beautiful and well favored.   And Jacob loved Rachel,’ and worked seven years for her as if it were only a few days.    I liken this to those experiences in our homeschooling journey when the time surpasses wonderful—the curriculum is a perfect fit, the children love learning, and the house does not look like most of you are there all day.    Yet, there was a wrench in Jacob’s engine.   He was unaware of a few rules that would get in his way, and no one informed him before he set out to accomplish his task.     He must have confused when he questioned when the results of his hard work turned out differently than he had planned; he might have even been frustrated and/or angry; he might have wondered if it was all worth it.     Does any of this sound familiar?

As we seek God’s face in the midst of home educating challenges—and if you have not been there, you will be—God teaches us His simple mathematics:

His anointing + your calling = success.

It does not mean that you will not have to make any adjustments; Jacob had to humble himself and serve more time under Laban to reach his goal.    Moreover, his goal did not come problem-free.   We read that the dissension between his wives, their servants, and the children kept him close to the Lord the rest of his life.     Your adjustment might be a change in the tools you are using to teach, or an increase in your grace and mercy, or perhaps more trust in the Father.    One of the many dynamics about prayer is how it will change you, often before it changes the object of your prayers.    A challenge is not in any way synonymous with a failure.    Challenges have purpose, and sometimes that purpose is to move us from a place of arrogance with what “we” are doing to build our children’s knowledge base, and to instead say with sincerity, “This is God’s work”

By the time you read this, it might be late for some who have made mid-school year decisions.  Yet, it is never too late.  God’s grace is sufficient for all of our needs.    Look again–not at the problem that is immediately in front of you, but at what you know God anointed you to do.    Remind yourself of the calling you felt when you first began.    Dig out those fun memories that encourage you in what you are doing.    Pray according to Isaiah 40:31, looking for Him to renew your strength.    Then you will walk and not be weary, and only then will you walk and not faint.  Stay consistent, my friends.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs. Belinda blogs at Simply Belinda and Chronicles of a Blessed Heritage.