Once upon a time we had an old Commodore 64 computer which my brother-in-law had given to us for our children to use. That hand-me-down computer entertained my older children with multiple games whenever they earned computer time by doing chores or finishing schoolwork on time. Then one autumn day we made a decision to buy a new computer which would primarily be used to supplement our children’s education. The choice was easily narrowed down to the purchase of our first Mac Performa and the simplicity of using it made it a wonderful addition to our household. The most notable event was when my oldest son who was fifteen years old at the time went through the process of installing the software and hooking up our dial-up 9600 baud modem to the internet. What an adventure awaited us!
However, the challenges of homeschooling during that time plus taking care of baby number seven plus helping my parents as my mom recovered from major surgery allowed me little time to learn much about our computer or the internet. The extent of my usage was limited to occasionally checking a quiet AOL email account.
Until that following summer a mere thirteen years ago.
Finally our schooling routine disappeared as more flexible summer days stretched out in front of us. One afternoon I plopped open a Practical Homeschooling magazine which I had been reading while nursing my baby and slid my rocking chair and sleeping baby over by the computer as I searched on AOL for a message board area which Mary Pride had set up for homeschoolers. Smiling from ear to ear once I found it, I began reading through the different categories available. Any and every possible topic related to homeschooling was available. Then I landed on a category that spoke to my heart. Homeschooling a Houseful. I spent quite a few days “lurking” and getting to know the women through their posts.
During this season of life, I was so limited to being able to engage in relationships outside my home as my days were full from start to finish, but before the start and finish when the baby needed nursing and my household was sleepy, I slowly and steadily began developing friendships with a group of women who had similar life situations as I posted a comment now and then allowing them to get to know me. We all were still in our childbearing years and were often typing one handed as we nursed our babies, cared for large growing families which had their own unique dynamics, talked about the challenges of homeschooling and what curriculums worked the best, shared simple and easy recipes or laundry tips, and gave advice while we prayed for one another as sisters in Christ.
When this message board area closed on AOL, our group tried a couple other message board areas as our families continued to grow older. We stuck together as we began exchanging Christmas cards and family pictures every December, meeting one another whenever we traveled to other states, helping one another when there were needs beyond our means, graduating our homeschooling kids one by one, and laughing heartily or crying sympathetically with one another as our relationships continued to blossom. We worked our way through many controversial topics which came with it learning the “tone” of our discussions through our typed words with a heart for unity which was shown through our apologies when misunderstood.
Seven summers ago we finally landed and have stayed at a place on the internet where a private message board area was set up. Our membership is around 75 to 80 women with about half of them quite active and the others checking in now and then as we’ve busily chatting away accumulating thousands of posts. Life on the internet has also changed and many of us can be found on Facebook as individuals or within the group we set up. Life has also changed within our families as we now share about weddings, grandbabies, books, menopause, aging parents, health issues, and even the topic of homeschooling comes up once in awhile. Although there have been many changes, our friendships have continued to be an incredible blessing deepening through the years and which will continue into eternity as we’re all convinced we’ll have our own little corner in heaven someday.
Internet friendships are not meant to replace or be any kind of substitute for our real life face to face friendships with women, but they can be a wonderful supplemental way of being blessed by other women within friendships where we can share the thousands of words of thoughts on our minds within a given day. The key is finding a healthy balance of time to do this so that you are not taking away from your real life relationships and home life. Message boards are a wonderful way to connect with other women and in particular other homeschooling moms as they offer specific areas to meet similar and distinct needs. Heart of the Matter offers a forum for this purpose as well as The Homeschool Lounge. Take a moment to check them out and meet other women who are also homeschooling. You never know when you might develop a sweet friendship that may allow you to meet face to face someday in the future. Trust me, you won’t run out of words if that happens as the conversation will flow much as it does online. You will be richly blessed by a friendship with a dear sister in Christ and could anything else be closer to the heart of the matter?
Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy Dallmann’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from grade school age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.
Well said Tammy.
I have argued with HAH moms, listened to their counsel, met several during our travels as a military family, and I have been blessed by the entire group.
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Tammy Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Thanks, Sandy! And you’re right, no matter where you move, we’ll still be only a click away
Blessings,
Tammy
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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Tammy, thanks for writing this! I’ll admit to being a bit weepy as I wandered down memory lane. The best parts for me have been the prayer warrior support through our many health challenges, and the companionship of so many wonderful, funny, compassionate, amazing women. And the food fights were great, too!
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Tammy Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
LOL, Shannon! Ahhh, yes the food fights! And I agree….there’s been nothing like the prayer support that has given all of us peace no matter what the circumstances. Just knowing there’s friends praying and carrying the burdens with us does fit into the category of *priceless*.
Blessings,
Tammy
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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So well written Tammy! I cherish my HAH friendships as I too have been blessed so many, many times by you all. I learned thru the wisdom of experienced moms to be more patient, seeing thru examples HOW to show God’s love to my children. All of you are truely loved by me!
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Tammy Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Awww, Terri! And what a blessing it’s been to actually connect with you a couple of times. In fact, remember when we shared a big bedroom on a getaway with our kids, too! LOL!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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Beautifully said, Tammy! Thanks for posting this.
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Tammy Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Thanks, Lee Ann! I hope it will encourage other homeschool moms to connect online either in the HOTM forum or The Homeschool Lounge. What a joy these friendships can be!
Blesings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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Yay to HAH ladies. I have often wondered if there are other cyber groups who have been together for so long and thought that one of the HAHers should write a book about it…when we’re all old, that is…..
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Tammy Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 10:13 am
I’m guessing that we are a rare cyber group because I stumbled upon all of you after you’d already been posting away for a year or two….so it has to be fourteen or fifteen years old? Yup, when we’re all old perhaps we could write a book as there’s plenty of stories that will never be forgotten, eh?
What a blessing!
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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Thank you for sharing this Tammy. Though I don’t have such a group, I am thankful for your friendship. You are a real friend and I am so very very very thankful for you. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to tell you. Sometimes in the business of life, these kinds of things don’t get said (or enough). I love you and am grateful to have you not only as a sister in Christ, but as a true friend in every sense of the word.
xoxo
Kimmie
mama to 8
one homemade and 7 adopted
Kimmie´s last blog ..Thrift Store Bounty
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Tammy Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 10:14 am
{{{{{Kimmie}}}}} I feel the exact same way about you! Our friendship is such a treasure to me
If I don’t get to hug you on this earth, can’t wait to meet you in heaven some day!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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I love our HAH! We have been through so much. I always know where to go for advice, for prayers and for everything else I don’t know…; ) Thanks Tammy for reminding me how much I love our group.
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Tammy Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 10:16 am
You’re welcome, Deb! I feel the same way
I hope others will be encouraged to seek out online friendships with other homeschool moms, too!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..the best thing to grow
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It has been a while since our aol days!!! While I am not one of the true “HAH” moms since I “only” have two kids – it has been fun to get to know all of the HAH ladies over the years.
They are a great bunch of ladies and a great support group.
Julie in NJ
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Tammy Reply:
July 29th, 2010 at 7:24 pm
I guess I’ve always thought of everyone there as being a HAH mom through the years whether a couple of kids or a houseful. PLUS there’s been moms who’ve only homeschooled for awhile or who’ve had children that have graduated and are still hanging out with all of us. The main thing is that we all started together and are still being blessed by one another!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..influencing the influencer
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Wow! What a great trip down memory lane. HAH has been such a fun place, and I’ve met some truly incredible women (and some families!) as a result. Our lives have been enriched and blessed by HAH and I know that regardless of what’s happening, it’s one place that FOR SURE I can get hugs and prayers–no questions asked!
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Tammy Reply:
August 16th, 2010 at 9:34 am
I think that’s always been the best part……the prayer support!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..Simple Womans Daybook for August 16
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I remember when we thought math at the table was hard – - then teens – - -then grown kids! I’ve gotten to meet so many wonderful families through our group. I remember when I would hit “next” – go wash 4 dishes, and come back to see the newest posting pop up………… Queens and charks, praise and prayer……….. I still think we need our own retirement home.
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Tammy Reply:
August 16th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Our own retirement home would be nice…..but will we ever be able to retire, Tracey?! LOL!
BTW, I enjoyed getting to meet you in real life and hope we can get together again sometime
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..Simple Womans Daybook for August 16
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I came to HAH after being on the AOL boards for a long time – had been active in the FIAR folder and a few others, but always thought “houseful” didn’t apply to me. Once I made my way in, I realized “houseful” is a subjective term as I was welcomed with open arms.
Of course, we grew into it having 2 more kids post-AOL. : )
I’ve met 5 HAHers IRL and my oldest son was hosted by 1 family (w/o me sniff, sniff), and every meeting has been such a wonderful time of fellowship. My favorite memory was pulling into Cheyenne in a school bus and being fed breakfast by Monica & Jim (Ingrid was there too!). Stuff like that NEEDS to be recorded on paper methinks!
Honest though, the biggest blessing to me personally has been knowing there was a place to bare my soul and KNOW that you all were praying for me. My life has been enriched “knowing” you.
Thanks Tammy!
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Tammy Reply:
August 16th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Same here, Karla! It’s been quite a ride at times, but what a blessing it has been to “know” each mom
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..Simple Womans Daybook for August 16
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In the summer of 1996 we first got Internet access. I had waited several months after we got our computer because I think I was intimidated. I often think of the excitement of those early days online. Everything was so new. I remember how excited I was to find the Web site for the Louvre; it was like having a secret passage to get there.
I tried out several homeschooling sites before I stumbled across HAH. I was warmly welcomed even though I confessed to being a Democrat. Although I don’t make it to HAH much these days, I have many warm memories. Remember that in those days, when so many people had dial-up connections, you could download boards. I wish we had saved some of those early messages.
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