Having Dessert First
April 3, 2008 by Marsha
I don’t know about you, but I am a Type-A kind of girl. And no, it doesn’t mean that I am an A+ excellent home educator and on the mommy-honor-roll with my kids proudly proclaiming it with a bumper sticker on their bikes!
Reality would more likely show me to be an overbearing, over-scheduled, checklist loving, rule following drill sergeant! At least that’s how I’m naturally bent. Or was today anyway. When the troops… er, my children don’t keep to my schedule, follow all my rules to a T, and allow me to merrily mark off all the items on my checklist, let’s just say it gets pretty ugly around here.
Can you see the theme here? It’s all about ME!!! Ugh.
Both Rachel’s and Cheryl’s recent posts really got me thinking– it’s NOT about me! Come to think of it, “not being about me” was also the topic of our Sunday School lesson as well as the morning sermon. Eeek. When God uses so many different avenues to tell me the same thing and within a span of only two short days, I better listen up!
In the realm of homeschooling, if it’s not all about me, then whom should it be about? How about the three little guys that spice up my life and totally outnumber me? Yup, those very same ones.
Hi boys. 
Mommy loves y’all.
Even when I’m a mean old fusspot that yells, whines and gripes when things don’t go my way.
We can now go many directions with it being about our kids and not us. While I would rather wax philosophical and tell you something that will pull at your heartstrings and change your life forever, I won’t. Because it’s not about me. It’s about them. (Hi kids!) Besides, I’m not very good at the whole life changing kind of talk anyway.
The them’s in my life would like for all of you mom’s (and dad’s) out there to think in more practical terms of how to stir the pot and change things up. And because they do like to make mommy happy occasionally, we’ll do this in a handy-dandy LIST format!
- I am inclined to do the more serious work first, saving the super fun activities as a reward for proper (and speedy!)completion of the three R’s. Instead of ending the day with the fun stuff– like painting a picture or playing a game– how about starting the day with it?
- Since we’re switching things up, how about having dessert before dinner? Or *gasp* having it for breakfast!
- My boys really dislike erasing. I don’t blame them. It can be quite aggravating when you accidentally erase a hole into your paper. Sometimes I let them just mark through the misspelled word– even when there is no room to put the correction next to it– and write sideways in the margin all the way up the paper.
I do understand that my children don’t always know best– if they did, they certainly wouldn’t need me! And if they always ate dessert first, they wouldn’t have room for the nutritious food necessary to keep them healthy. As parents, it is our responsibility to do what is right for our children. But can we do right without being such sticklers and sticks-in-the-mud about it all? Can we take little steps here and there to train ourselves to not always have the it’s my way or the highway mentality?
As you can see with my pathetically short list up there, it is not easy for me to think outside my perfectly square box! I would love it if you would share your ideas with me. What are some ways that you mix it up at your house? Is there something in your daily life or in your homeschool that you do for your kids (or let them do) that goes against your norm or preference? And did your kids look at you in total disbelief about it?
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Kysha on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 4:20 am
Fun post, Marsha! We mix it up around here every now and then also. I let my dc pick which subjects that they would like to study first just to break the monotany of things. We also change our school setting by schooling outside. Looking forward to some warmer weather so that we can pick it up again.
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Stretch Mark Mama on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 4:55 am
That was good to read! Just tonight my oldest son said that he “never wants to do school” because he “never has any fun.”
And I am certainly not a Fun Mom (poor kids).
Maybe a surprise should be in order!?!
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Just Pure Lovely on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 12:43 pm
Our first school day, 7 years ago or so, was textbooks out, flag out, students (ages 6 and 4) sitting perfectly still at their desks, baby ……. ah, yes, the baby interrupted and I realized (slowly, because I’m slow at realizing) our homeschool can’t be exactly like a “real” school.
Our school day yesterday (about 7 years after that first) started after a morning of chores and waking slowly. The 5yo was taught how to fry her own egg, baby animals (ducklings, chicks, bunnies) were visited and fed, 12yo dictated to the 10yo, a little was done on math worksheets, 8yo read to 10yo, music played in the background, and at one point (for nearly an hour because we just couldn’t stop) we all gathered around the table for a read-aloud of Anne of Green Gables.
Homeschooling has been so much easier and our days have been much less frustrating ever since we started learning from life and good books more than from what I THOUGHT school HAD to be.
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suzanne on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 1:08 pm
man, i’m not a fun mom either. but i sure am trying.
just this morning i told them absolutely that we would NOT be watching the rest of Enchanted before school work. what were they thinking?! and it took about 10 minutes of school going SO wrong and already i was almost yelling and i thought, what am i thinking?! good grief. could i let up occasionally?
so, here i am, listening to Enchanted in the background, serving cinnamon rolls (from the can, of course!) for breakfast and reading your post!
“Even when I’m a mean old fusspot that yells, whines and gripes when things don’t go my way.” lovin’ this part! when am i not this person?!
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lori on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 4:12 pm
Mrs. Square BOX here….it’s BEAUTIFUL outside…why SHOULDN’T he read up in the tree???
and SERIOUSLY…why not dessert first…that’ll really get them wondering “who are YOU and what have you done with OUR mom!!!”
I try to “stir it up…” You know I’m a ’structure’ kind of gal…but homeschooling has taught me SOOOO much about letting it go and ENJOYING the ride!!!
I want to be the FUN mom…the SPONTANEOUS mom…usually that’s dad!!
HA!
no more ‘miss fusspot….’ well at least for THIS AFTERNOON!!!
Gotta go….we got clothes to get DIRTY and DESSERT to EAT!!!
HOLD ON KIDS…YOUR “NEW” mom is coming!!!
great post!!
lori
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Marsha on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 7:47 pm
Kysha, it never occurred to me to let them decide what to do first. Okay, maybe it did cross my mind but then I’d quickly dismiss it– b/c it’s all about what *I* want to do first, right? Geeze.
But God is gracious! I really have come a long way in many areas as far as needing things to be perfect and immediate.
And Suzanne, we love the canned cinnamon rolls! My 8yo is in charge of those breakfasts.
I think I need to take Lori’s lead and teach my boys how to cook some eggs. But I think I’m only brave enough to let them do it in the microwave!
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Stacey on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 8:40 pm
Amen! I was recently convicted of the same and blogged about it here:
http://www.7cheerfulhearts.blogspot.com/2008/03/saying-yes.html
I’ve been working on saying YES more. Even when it makes all my boxes go crazy!
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the160acrewoods on Wed, 2nd Apr 2008 10:22 pm
okay first, your little guys are adorable!!! and i totally understand, my troops have been AWOL lately!
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JoyintheMoment on Thu, 3rd Apr 2008 1:11 am
These are three very pracitical ideas on this topic (for a mom that continually prays this prayer) -
1) we have “relish trays” alot! My kids being only 5 & 2 – it is amazing that they won’t touch many fruit and veggies till it is on a plate and they can choose! ha! Then they think that broccoli is cool!
2) they pick their own clothes…even if it involves rubber boots and a sleeveless shirt! Anything goes with pink right? (my dd thinks so!)
3) we also name a “kid of the day” and they get to choose the order of things…based on a list of all that must get done…but mom has her day too when it is needed!
Again, these are simple and I am just starting on the homeschool part of this journey as my kids are so young… so I look forward to reading others posts!
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Marsha on Thu, 3rd Apr 2008 6:14 am
I really like the Kid of the Day idea. I’ll have to try that. Since everything around here is a competition, that will make it much easier to get some help and teach some skills one at a time.
And I want y’all to know that I did say YES to playing a game with the kids even though it was at that crazy time of day when you need to make dinner and get ready for church. We ate PB&J’s for supper but it was worth it!
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