As a Christian woman today I want to serve God with my whole heart. Service to God is my goal, and homeschooling is one of the ways I can accomplish that service.

Homeschooling for me is a calling, an outworking of a vision that God put in my heart ten years ago. I now have four children homeschooling ages 5-11 and am starting to understand the underlying issues that have caused me to struggle and stress over the years. I wanted to share these struggles to encourage you that we all have times when we have to wrestle with our homeschooling. I also wanted to encourage you to overcome these obstacles, grow stronger in your faith and strengthen you on your homeschooling journey. At the end of each section I have asked some questions that you might like to ask yourself.

Vision and Faith

God placed the vision to homeschool in my heart, but finding how to apply the vision in my life has been a difficult journey. I haven’t been able to just pick up a book or curriculum and follow a plan. When the pressure seems overwhelming, I have questioned God and asked him to remove this vision from my heart, but it would not go. On two separate occasions I did my best to ignore that vision and sent some of my kids to school for a term. The whole time I had them there I could feel God drawing me back to homeschooling.

The reason I have kept coming back to homeschooling is because I am confident that I am following God’s way for my life. In my anxious moments when I draw near to God, I always get the peace of God to continue.

Although God is calling me to homeschool now, I don’t necessarily feel that it will always be that way. For I know that God has a habit of changing our plans. My focus is on listening to God and not making LAWS for myself like ‘Though Shalt Always Homeschool’. I find this attitude sets a big burden on me. I much prefer listening to God’s direction for me along the way. I plan to homeschool and if God is going to change my direction then he will start speaking to me when the time is right.

1. Why are you homeschooling?
2. What is your goal in homeschooling?
3. Do you feel God has confirmed that this is His will for your life?

Sin,Temptation and Forgiveness

I am not a perfect homeschool mother and I know you are not either– neither is Sally Clarkson, Karen Andreola or even Mary Collis. I have areas of weakness just like you. How do I know?  Because the Bible tells me so! It says ‘For all have sinned and fallen short of the of glory of God.’ Romans 3:23.

Now to the general observer my sins don’t seem that big. I don’t sit around on the sofa drinking a flagon of port watching soap operas while my illiterate kids run wild around the neighbourhood. But I do sin! When I have a bad day homeschooling because I lost my temper with a child or pursued my own interests instead of homeschooling, I feel condemned. I tell myself that I am such a bad mother and maybe my kids would be better off in school after all.

But what is God’s response to my sin?

Well God knows I am a sinner and that what I need to do is go to him for forgiveness. It is not homeschooling that is making me a sinner, it is my sinful nature. Keep a short account of your sins and repent and ask God to forgive you.

I have a friend who found that once she started reading a book she couldn’t stop. The whole house collapsed for the day but the book got read. Knowing this temptation was too great for her she started giving the book she was reading to her husband to take to work. Sounds extreme but it worked. Flee that temptation that keeps letting you down. Just remember that temptation is a normal part of the human experience. We are all tempted to sin, but that is not sin. Don’t feel guilty about the temptations, just deal with them.

1. What sins should you confess?
2. What tempts you?
3. How are you going to deal with that temptation?

Academics and the Ultimate Goal

Finding the Charlotte Mason method was a direction that God led me towards; and what of a huge relief when I found it. It suited my personality and style. It is the method that I have found works best with what I am trying to do with my family. In my enthusiasm for new ideas, I can lose sight of the original God inspired vision to homeschool and focus on all the ‘ways of homeschooling’. The homeschooling books I read become a ‘rod for my back’, and not the helpful resource that they were meant to be. The expectations these curriculums place on me can make me feel anxious and guilty because I know that I can’t find the time to do all that they require. I then get sucked into the academic struggle when I see what my kids could achieve: if I spent more time focusing on academics; if I bought a particular curriculum; if I made them work harder.  I wonder, should I do Latin?  What about Greek?

Is it that curriculum is sinful? No, of course not. I have learned many things from using some of the great resources available to homeschoolers. But I don’t let myself get legalistic about following someone else’s plan. I use it as a guide or suggestion for how I might approach a particular subject. I am not worried about the Charlotte Mason police anymore. Mary Collis makes this statement that I wholeheartedly agree with, ‘ Our education should be an infrastructure to support what God has us here for– to lift up his name in this day and age, and to make disciples of all nations. Education without this purpose is nothing but idolatry’ (Thoughts on Classics, ALE issue 16).

So how then should we deal with this struggle? Well, I believe wisdom is the key. Pray and ask God for wisdom as you choose a course of study for the child you are catering too. Pray for understanding and then seek out the answers knowing that God is guiding. Realize that there is no PERFECT homeschool method. All have pro’s and con’s. Be realistic about the workload. Use the wise words of experienced homeschoolers. As I have continued on this journey I have found that the emphasis is not on the academics but rather on the end result, and for me that is– children who love God and are equipped to follow the calling that God is leading them into.

1. How do you feel about the homeschool method you have chosen?
2. What is God telling you about your curriculum?
3. How am I equipping my children for their future calling?

Struggle with the Expectations of Others

In my early days as a homeschool mum I tried to be all things to all people. I would attend most things I was invited to. I would help out when asked at church. My friends and family would always ring in the morning and I found it hard not to talk. Then people would drop in and not go home and expect my full attention. I could see other people’s needs but I was neglecting the children. What was I to do? I thought  that I could not possibly meet everyone’s needs and homeschool. If I asked for advice from extended family or friends they would all recommend that I should put the kids in school.  Then I was back on the emotional rollercoaster– homeschool v’s school?

From a practical point of view I think the biggest help for me was when I read in Catherine Levinson’s comment that I should expect to stay home and school. This may sound obvious to you but for me it was very helpful. I had permission to stay home and teach. I then started to tell my friends that I had set school hours and that as a general rule couldn’t break them. I also pulled the phone out of the hook and learned to say no.

I also found that I needed support from other homeschooling Christian mothers. These women understood the struggles that I was going through and could offer helpful tips to deal with some issues I was facing. For me finding friends was easy, as I am a natural socialite who lives in the city but for you it may be harder. My advice is pray for the right friends. God knows your needs and he can work something out. I have also received encouragement from the online homeschooling communities.

Two sites I recommend are CM and Friends http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cmfriends-anz/join and Aussie homeschoolers. http://homeschoolads.proboards51.com/index.cgi.

1. What expectations have others of me that I cannot fulfill?
2. How is God asking me to deal with those expectations?
3. How can I get the support that I need?

Endurance with God’s Strength

During preparation of this article I have drawn much wisdom from the book of Romans in the Bible and I encourage you to read it also in light of the struggles you are facing. Paul exhorts us to not become entangled with the Law but to be led by the Spirit, to endure in our sufferings, to walk in the forgiveness and the righteousness of Christ and not condemnation. Recalibrate your thinking to God’s direction, inspired by the Holy Spirit, in accordance with His word. Let that be the pinnacle of your homeschooling experience , not guilt, a philosophy, a secular bench march , or the expectations of others.

“Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:12-13.

By Michelle Morrow of Down Under Literature. You can visit her blog at: http://www.enduringprize.com.