How NOT to Talk to a Teacher

Posted by Debra | 0 comments

There’s something about meeting a classroom teacher that makes me both nervous and excited. As an educator I love “talking shop,” but I also know that there are some presuppositions in both our minds that could get in the way of a beneficial conversation. I want to learn from them without revealing that there are days when I don’t think I know what I’m doing. I want to find out what their struggles are without sending the message that I don’t have any struggles at all. I want to get a feel for their take on education without turning the conversation into a philosophical debate. I often hedge on these conversations, yet I continue to seek them out. They are, after all, rich opportunities to learn about resources, ideas, methods and trends.

Now, I have several friends who are certified teachers working with all age levels. Depending on the setting in which I meet them I find that they react to my homeschooling with anything from complete skepticism to complete support. Naturally, I enjoy the latter more than the former so I have pinpointed several ways to glean from their teaching experiences without building walls between us.

1. Don’t enter the conversation with an “us vs. them” mentality. Homeschoolers can sometimes vilify institutional schools, but be aware that your average classroom (public or private school) teacher is no one’s enemy. If you ask them, you’ll likely find that they entered the profession in order to make a difference in the life of a child.[1] That is evidence of a beautiful heart so we shouldn’t stomp on it with presuppositions, righteous statistics or one-upmanship. Treat them with respect and they’ll often return it when they hear your story.

2. Don’t tip your hand right away. If the conversation is going to be beneficial to you both, then you need to find out a few things. How long have they been teaching? How many grade levels have they taught? Do they have any special needs students or inner city experiences? Are their students’ parents involved? Finding out about their experiences will help you be more compassionate toward them. And based on what you learn by asking questions, you can make a decision as to whether or not this is a teacher that you, yourself, can learn from.

3. Don’t be ignorant of current education statistics. I have heard homeschool leaders tout many blanket statements that may or may not be true about teachers’ agendas, their training, their classroom management, etc. I have also heard many teachers declare many “truisms” of homeschoolers that I personally have never experienced. It goes both ways, but it’s not right for either of us to do that. Be aware of what is really happening in education today (not 10 years ago) and you’ll find it easier to really listen. Check out http://library.csun.edu/mfinley/edstats.html for a good launching place.

4. Don’t assume that you are less qualified than they are. But don’t assume you are more qualified either. There can be a fine line between humility and pride. Personally, I’m headed into my 8th year of home schooling. The greatest percentage of teachers (32.9%) has only 3-9 years of teaching experience.[2] So, chances are good that, if you’re like me, you have nearly as many years of experience as they do. Breathe in. Breathe out. And think of them as a peer you can glean from.

5. Don’t skip the relationship. Teachers are some of the most creative, intuitive, life-giving friends I have. Before you begin to pick their brain, build a friendship. We learn from each other when we trust one another. And the relationship makes all the difference in our understanding.

[1] 73% enter the teaching profession because of their desire to work with young people. http://educationalissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/nea__todays_teacher_issues#ixzz0LlbvzM4X. Accessed July 19, 2009.

[2] http://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d08/tables/dt08_067.asp. Accessed July 19, 2009.

Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 15 years and has three sons under age 10. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and is a new resident of the Denver metro area. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at Emergent Homeschool.