I’m learning…

Posted by Suzanne | 0 comments

…that the first few years of homeschooling is a lot like having your first baby.

You feel as though you’re the only one going through all of the emotions.

Nobody could possibly feel as excited as you do right now. No one would believe how scared you are. Everybody else has it all figured out. You’re the only one who’s ever felt this way. (And you’re the only one nodding your head at your computer screen at this moment, right?)

You take on your child’s every success or failure as your success or failure.

You feel very proud of yourself when they learn something new. And, conversely, you beat yourself up when they don’t catch on to a concept as quickly as you think they should, for, of course, if you only had the right curriculum or were doing the perfect job of teaching they would have mastered it already.

You want to show anybody who’ll stand still long enough what your child has been learning.

“Here, just look at one more worksheet, really, this one’s so much more exciting than the last 15 I just subjected you to.”

Your kids never perform on demand for other people.

Each time you try to get them to “just read this little book”, or “show them how you count in Spanish”, or “say Happy Birthday in sign language” you find yourself making the “really they do this all the time at home” excuse.

You compare your kid to every other kid around his age.

“Are they reading with emotion yet? Does he really know his times tables? You mean she can name all 50 states? What’s wrong with my kid? What’s wrong with me?”

Every new thing you discover, well, you must’ve been the one to discover it.

“Unit studies?! Wow, look everybody, unit studies are cool! You have to try this!”

You annoy every one of your friends.

If they’re not homeschooling they don’t really want to hear about one more cool idea you’ve had. If they’re seasoned homeschoolers they are inwardly rolling their eyes at this “first-timer” that thinks she has it all figured out or is freaking out about nothing. “You just wait until they get to high school,” they’re thinking.

All the cool new gadgets will make all the difference.

“I simply can’t live without that book, manipulative, lesson.”

You realize there are as many different methods of parenting as there are children.

Your style is the best. You must convert the entire world to your way of teaching. And in the meantime, you alienate all who have their own way.

You look at experienced parents and judge their ways.

Well, if they only knew all the new information out there they wouldn’t be so relaxed. They’d be more on their toes.

You feel like you have to get everything right this time, right now or you’ve ruined them for life.

“I have to pick the perfect lessons before they even start and I can’t possibly change anything mid-stream or I will have destroyed their whole life.”

You document your first child’s accomplishments way more.

And the following children, without much discipline on your part, will fall by the picture-taking wayside.

You seasoned mamas, think back to when your first baby was born. Think how you had these thoughts. Think how, if you had more children, you were amazed that they all learn to talk. They all toddle around. And although it’s still awesome you kind of realize that, huh, my baby isn’t the only baby to ever roll over. Think about how you realized that all of your children are different. How, if you can’t take total credit for one child being a math whiz, that you probably shouldn’t take complete blame for the other not writing epics like Homer by the 5th grade. Think about how, as your children got older you relaxed, had faith in yourself, rediscovered your old friends and made new ones. And you became very tolerant of new mamas that were having all those same thoughts you had not so very long ago. And how parenting became closer to first nature than something you had to concentrate on so much. How you wanted to impart, so gently, wisdom to the newbies that you had learned the hard way.

And you newbies, like me? Know that you’re in the natural order of the universe. Hang in there. Laugh at yourself. Relax. Let it happen naturally just as your parenting did. Find a mentor. Be teachable. Be forgiving of yourself. Go easy on those first-borns! And realize that one day, not too long from now, you’ll be rolling your eyes inwardly at some first-timer that just discovered the joy of homeschooling!