It’s Not Fair!

Posted by Nikowa Lee | 0 comments

When I had children, my view of the world changed. I’m constantly ‘doing’ for others, rarely thinking of myself. Part of that ‘doing’ is playing mediator.

“It’s not fair!” is something that I hear most often. Whether it’s ‘so-n-so’ got more time on the video game or someone else has a better bike. “It’s not fair!” seems to come flying out of the mouth just about as much as “awe Mom!”

Think about it, as parents we’re constantly trying to make sure that everything is fair for our children. Everyone has the same amount of drink. Everyone at the party has a goody bag with the same exact candy, toys, tokens, etc. Time is allotted to-the-minute for video games.

You get the idea.

But really are we doing our children a disservice? Think about it. As adults, life isn’t fair. We get passed over for promotions. “Keeping up with the Jones’” seem to be a relatively common thing. Your in-laws forget your birthday yet another family member gets lavished with gifts. Again, you get the idea.

Life is not fair.

As parents we want to protect our children yet prepare them for the real world. This is a hard balancing act. How do we make sure our children aren’t taken advantage of or even mistreated without giving them a huge sense of entitlement?

This is something that I’m constantly dealing with. I want my children to have a better childhood than I did, but I also don’t want them spoiled. I pray constantly for them. I pray that God helps me to be the best parent that I can be. Allowing the children to fail, struggle and work hard while encouraging and rewarding effort not the end result.

So I’ve been evaluating the situation when I hear, “it’s not fair”. Is it something trivial? If it is, I tell them that life isn’t fair. Get used to it. Harsh, but true.

But if it’s a situation where I can use it to teach a lesson or encourage, we work it out. At no time should someone feel inferior, unloved, unwanted or get hurt in any way.

So what do you do when you hear “it’s not fair”?

Nikowa is a quirky homeschooling mom to a special needs son, co-schooling mom to a son that’s a handful, foster-to-adopt parent, Cub Scout volunteer, music lover, frugal lifestyle livin’, 2x cervical cancer surviving wife. She enjoys social media, photography, knitting, gardening, reading, cooking, and teaching. You can visit Nikowa at The Adventures of a Quirky Mom.