I’m tired. Home schooling is not working. My son won’t cooperate. He is so easily distracted. It takes him forever to get through a simple lesson! I can’t find the “right” curriculum. I’ve tried everything and I don’t know what to do next. When I see other home school families they seem to be doing just fine. Why isn’t it working for us? I want to give up and put my kids in school. I just can’t do this anymore! I think that at the end of the year I will start the process of enrolling them in the public school system…

Okay, so I’m not really thinking of quitting, but what went through your mind as you read the first paragraph? How did it make you feel? Did you automatically start mentally coming up with answers? Did think of how you have sometimes felt the same way? Maybe you felt a little judgmental…or you thought, “If only she’d do this…or that…” I know. I’ve probably had the same thoughts you had as you were reading…

After 13 years of home schooling I have discovered one of the most important keys to educating your children successfully. I know something that will help make it “work”. One of the most important things that we need in order to home school for the long haul is ENCOURAGEMENT! We need a support system.

Much of my home schooling has been done alone. There were not many co-ops or support groups locally, and the ones I did find either cost too much money or you had to be a member of the particular church it was held at. As a result, I had very little support or companionship on my journey. That was very hard at times. There were a few times I felt like giving up.

There were a couple of women that God did bring into my life, at crucial times, that helped keep me going. I am thankful for that. When my children were very small, there was a young mom who lived across the street and she was home schooling as well. Occasionally we would get together and do different activities with our children, or encourage each other. Just having that one friend helped so much during those years. As my children got older, God brought a few college students into our family’s lives that took an interest in my children. One girl taught piano, another girl taught art. One young man comes over to teach my son guitar. These college students loved being with, and fussing over my kids. That was such an encouragement to me as a mom. As my son got older he started playing soccer. We met some families who were home schooling as well. I enjoyed sitting on the side lines watching my son play soccer, and talking with these moms about home schooling…and life! One of those ladies has helped me through the high school years. She has her masters in education, has graduated two of her three children from home school (and they are both thriving at a local university) and she serves as a mentor in her church helping home school moms choose curriculum for their high school students. While my children have been in high school she has met with me to help choose curriculum and give suggestions. I have so appreciated her help.

Even though I have not had much “fellowship” or encouragement through my personal, home school journey, the few things that I did have made such a difference! It was the encouragement and push I needed to help keep me going. I want to encourage you to look for ways you can encourage each other. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own day to day schedules and things we have to do, that we forget that there are others out there that may need us to “come along side” them and help them in their journey. Although I do know that God does lead some to put their children in school, I want to make sure that I’ve done all I can to support and encourage a mom before she does that. I would hate to think that someone quit because she was discouraged and overwhelmed…and there may have been something I could have done to encourage her and give her that push she needed to keep going.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Even though we are all so busy, I believe that there are many things that we can do to reach out and encourage other moms who home school. Here are some simple, practical suggestions.

1. When you are with another mom ask this simple question, “Are you encouraged or discouraged?” That is a question that I am asking more frequently lately. Why? because I know that I can go for days feeling discouraged and I long for someone to tune in and reach out to me in that way! “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

2. Take a few minutes to pick up the phone or write a note. Let other moms know you are thinking of them and praying for them. Just having that knowledge can help you through the day. For example–I have one friend who, although she is very busy, she works hard at making those small efforts. I was so touched by her wonderful example one day when she was standing in line at a department store and she called me from her cell phone just to see how I was doing. She didn’t have time to talk for long, but just the fact that she made that effort to check up on me made such a difference. You can also ask how you can pray specifically for other moms, and then make sure you follow up on a regular basis and ask how they are doing. Maybe you can start a separate prayer list for those who you know are home schooling, and have shared with you some of their challenges.

3. On days when you are going to the library with your children, think about inviting another mom to go with you. Sometimes it is helpful to just have a small outing. Having that time to chat with another mom can be so such an encouragement. I remember so clearly a situation I faced. Several years ago I was experiencing some difficult health problems. It was hard for me to get out much, and I was so discouraged. A lady I know went out once a week to take her older children to a co-op class. While they were in class she would take her younger kids to the library. She invited me to go. I was thrilled. I had been so lonely and feeling so poorly. We went. My kids enjoyed getting out and having a little change. It was just what we needed. Knowing she did this regularly, we chatted about doing it again. I was so encouraged. After that first time we went, I called her to thank her for taking me. Before I could finish telling her thank you, she told me that she didn’t think she would do it again. She decided that she wanted the drive to and from the library to be alone with her kids. Although she didn’t know it, before she finished explaining this, I had tears flowing down my face! I was so disappointed. She had no idea what that simple outing to the library meant to a young mom who was facing health issues that made it hard to do the simplest things. Although it was something I had to entrust to the Lord, it made an impression on me. It taught me to look beyond myself and see how I can encourage another mom, even if I am a little bit inconvenienced for a short period of time. Those were hard days for me. Not many reached out during that time.

4. If you are a mom who has older children, look around for moms who are just starting out and see how you can encourage them. Ask them how they are doing and if they need anything. I know that when I was younger, I LONGED for an older woman to help me with home schooling. If you are further along in the journey, it is important that you let young moms know that it is “doable”, and encourage them in their journey. It can be easy, when you are home schooling high school aged children, to look at those with very young children and maybe think that there is nothing to it. Compared to teaching a high schooler, elementary age can seem like “cake”…but it is important to remember that each age is a challenge if it is the mom’s first time to home school. Home schooling is a huge responsibility, no matter what grades you are teaching. It’s important that we, as older women, reach out and encourage those that are younger than us.

5. Take some time to make it fun and provide some fellowship. (Include another home school family if possible!) When my daughter was younger we had a tradition each year that we would take one day off school and have an “Ann of Green Gables” marathon. It was something we looked forward to, and having special days like that through out the year helped us to get through. Taking time to think of some special things you can do, through out the year, to make home schooling a little more fun can be so helpful. Take time out to invite another home school family for lunch. Do science experiments together occasionally. Assign your children to read certain books, along with another family, and then get together and read book reports. Join another family, whose children play musical instruments, and have a family recital.

Think of ways that you can be a support and encouragement, not only to a mom, but to their children. We need it. They need it.  It can make such a difference.  Take it from someone who has been alone much of the time she has home schooled. I could have used this type of encouragement.  Let’s look for ways to reach out and encourage others.  Let’s look for ways to make a difference.

Gina is the mom of a home school graduate (now a sophomore in college), and a sophomore in high school. You can visit her personal blog:  Chats with an “Old Lady”