Job, Resolutions and Yoda

Posted by Luke | 0 comments

I loved the book of Job in high school. I even wrote a paper on him. And Job is particularly applicable right now because he, in a way, made a New Year’s Resolution:

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl. ~Job 31:1

What’s more, Job is so convinced of his ability to carry out this resolution that he stakes his marriage on it (Job 31:9-10).

… I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t do such a thing. For as much as I may resolve to get up and do a little workout every morning, I know it’s not going to happen (like this morning when I decided to take an extra long shower instead). In fact, I gave up on resolutions a long time ago. Perhaps it was my camp experiences as a kid: I’d go to camp, get “all fired up”–remember, I’m rather excitable–go forward at the altar call and resolve to change, be better, or perhaps just do a little more (or less) of something.

Odds are you know how this story concludes.

Not two weeks later I’d be left wondering why I failed so miserably. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I keep it together? Where’s God’s transforming power? Sure, I may have tried again for a month or so, but ultimately I’d just give up in despair.

What I found was that my willpower let me down, but not in the way I usually hear about it. My flesh isn’t weak in the sense that I can’t get myself to do something. Oh no, that’s not it at all. I’m an ex-National level swimmer. I’ve done Cross Country. I can get myself to do a great many things. The problem is that I find I’d rather do something else. It’s like the quote I’ve heard from smokers again and again: I could quit if I wanted to.

I agree. Absolutely.

The problem is that we don’t want to, which is why we keep doing it. And so no matter how much I may resolve to get back into shape, I know eventually I’m going to do what I want to do instead. The same is true of sins as well. And rather than keep lying to myself, I resolved to make no New Year’s Resolutions. They didn’t work.

Yet the bothersome reality is that I have seen change in my life. The most notable is with daily Bible reading. I “struggled” with that for years [read: I resolved to, and eventually gave up... again and again]. I would be inspired by the stories I heard of kids who wore out their Bibles with use. I knew it was good to daily spend time in the Word. I could totally have made time if I had wanted to. But as much as I wanted to, I didn’t. Somewhere deep down I didn’t want to take the time. And my will is strong, so I’m going to do what I want to do.

Eventually I got fed up with not having a daily “devotional” time. I knew I wasn’t going to spend an hour on such a thing. So, instead, I decided to read a chapter a day (except weekends) and if I skipped a day to not sweat it. Five minutes, tops. If the chapter felt too long, I would let myself stop in the middle. I could make myself do it even if I didn’t want to.

I’d love to say that now I spend three hours reading Hebrew and praying for the persecuted church. I mean, that’s what happens, right? We start on a spiritual discipline and then God makes it grow into some huge passion of ours. Before you know it, I’m on my face every morning weeping over the wonderful insights God has given me. Wouldn’t that be cool?

It would.

But my story is a little different. I get up, take a shower, and then come back and read a chapter aloud from the Bible to my wife (who is still mostly asleep). If the chapter feels long, I stop somewhere in the middle. Every once in a while I skip a day. But, surprisingly, that is very, very rare. I’ve discovered I can work with a discipline.

What’s the difference, then, between a resolution and a discipline? It may simply be semantic, but in my mind the implications are huge:

A resolution is about life change, a shift, something you are going to alter within yourself now and forevermore. More importantly, I can fail at a resolution.

Discipline is about a small consistent practice, something I’m going to add (or subtract) from my life on a regular basis. It’s a process I hope brings change, but a process, not a destination or accomplishment (“I read my Bible in a year” is an accomplishment). And while I could give up on a discipline, I can’t really fail it. What’s more, a discipline allows me to challenge myself, my will, to do something I may not really want to do. But it’s an opportunity for improvement, and just like getting up at 4am for a swim practice is not something I want to do, it’s something I can get myself to do as a discipline. Any resolution made for such an early morning routine would be futile. Not interested.

So since I’m not as holy as Job–and I know for a fact that I’m not–perhaps this year I will focus on one–or three small disciplines.

But don’t you dare try to resolve to take up some disciplines. To quote a famous little green dude:

Do or do not do. There is no try.

Why?

Because when I try, I eventually decide I’d rather not. But if I just start doing something in moderation and grace, I find I do more.

May we find joy in the New Year as we grow in disciplines.

Luke Holzmann is the son of John and Sarita Holzmann, founders of Sonlight Curriculum, Ltd., in Littleton, CO, where he is the Media Relations Specialist. He attended Biola University, in La Mirada, CA, and earned the BA in Motion Picture Production. You can find his work at http://www.sonlightblog.com/, production-now.com, and lukeholzmann.blogspot.com.