The message seems to be coming from everywhere recently as I prepare for a new year of school. While reflecting on what has gone well for us over the last school year and what hasn’t, once again I’m faced with choices- choices about curriculum, choices about activities, choices about scheduling and routines. All are valid areas of our homeschool.

No one can doubt the value in outside activities for our children. There are so many choices especially now that homeschooling is more mainstream than ever. Have you ever noticed how much effort it takes just to stay home and do school?

Each year as I determine our yearly plan which New York State requires, I must again weigh the many extracurricular activity options against what my children are passionate about and what our family can handle both financially and routinely.

I hear whispers from both sides.

Some of the whispers are subtle. A constant mantra that I hear just from observing other families and recollecting my own childhood. Comparison is the death of contentment and yet it is hard not to wonder if we are doing the “right” thing with our children if we choose not to go after every opportunity that is available for them. Friends and acquaintances enjoy swimming lessons, scouts, dance, etc., while we have adopted a policy that allows each of our four children one activity- more or less at a time. We also take the winter months off of structured activities and go the YMCA as a family instead. With four children that time still adds up. That doesn’t even include the myriad of good things a family can get involved with during the school day- homeschool co-op, ice skating, bowling, archery and the list goes on.

Some of the whispers aren’t so subtle. Requests for our oldest son, who plays soccer and baseball, to join a traveling team or a winter indoor league come at regular intervals. He could use extra instruction and playing time to gain an edge. Won’t your daughter be in dance this year? I haven’t seen your family at story time this year or evening library programs.

Whispers from the other side consistently tell me that we need to protect our time as a family. It is fleeting. The time is short. Homeschooling veterans tell us that cutting back on outside activities will allow us to have a richer homeschooling experience.

I can tell you that even in the homeschooling world those whispers aren’t loud enough!  By my own observation over the last four years, our best homeschool days happen when we are home. Wow. That screams the obvious, doesn’t it? Yet, I believe the real success occurs when we have many uninterrupted days at home and that is much more difficult to achieve. To be able to relax and discover with our children, we need to have time on our side. Regular, frequent days of being home, with no outside agenda, allows us the freedom to explore more in our school. We aren’t constantly in a “battle” to hit the 3Rs before we leave for dance class or baseball practice.

Fiercely protecting our “school” time allows us to be more adventurous and it provides the time for us to invest in our children. Fiercely protecting that time allows us to go beyond the ordinary on a regular basis. It allows our children to play more and relax. We aren’t always in the car and on the go. Fiercely protecting our time means finding out what our kids are really passionate about and finding ways to feed that passion at home and as a part of their school day- not necessarily adding another “activity” to the many places we have to go. Or maybe it means cutting out the fat- the extras about which our children are not so passionate. Fiercely protecting our school time sometimes means making unpopular choices. It means that sometimes the whispers from all the good things we do get louder even as we try to silence them!

I had the opportunity for several months last fall to get a feel for what life is like when you clear your calendar and stay home with your kids. Major surgery will do that for you! I must admit that being forced to drop everything and be here with my kids, brought a lot of peace to our school. I wasn’t driving for a few weeks and even though I was allowed to drive before too long, I didn’t have the energy required to get four kids 10 to 4 out the door to go anywhere! I was content to stay home and learn with my kids. There were no outside pressures calling to us to leave home. I wasn’t feeling burned out from running too much. And neither were my children. Despite recovering from surgery, our school was consistent and rich.

While I know it’s unrealistic to expect that our children will never participate in anything, it’s easier to end up with too many activities than to not do enough of them. If we purpose to stay home more, then I think we get closer to a healthy balance.

So, how will you aim to keep the home in your homeschool this year? What can you say no to that will give your children the chance to explore more at home? Such a goal will require us to be intentional. It will require us to be vigilant to guard against those outside invitations which are not part of the vision we have for our school. I always tell people that I want to provide the extraordinary for my kids when they ask why we homeschool (In fact, I think it’s in my signature line here!). Extraordinary experiences won’t happen if we are hardly at home to enjoy them!

Now that I’ve issued the challenge to be at home more, next month I will explore how we can speak to our kids’ hearts and fuel their passions both at home and with carefully chosen outside activities.

Heather Woodie is a homeschooling mom of four kids ages 10, 8, 6, 3 and wife to a handsome chemical engineer for 13 years. Before raising a family, she taught middle school science and has a masters degree in curriculum and instruction secondary education. Now teaching at home means the chance to provide the extraordinary for her children. Between family and homeschooling time, she is working as volunteer staff for MOPS International as an Area Coordinator for NY State. She’s been homeschooling four years and you can read about those adventures on her blog, Blog She Wrote.