Learning to say “No”

Posted by Nikowa Lee | 0 comments

Growing up as an only child, the pressure was always on me to answer “yes” to everything. After all, there was no one else to split the responsibilities or chores with. It was all me – all of the time. After years of saying “yes”, I’m now finding it hard to say “no”.

Women by nature are great multi-tasker’s. I think God made us this way for a reason. That’s smart design! We can fold laundry, talk on the phone, & nurse a baby all at the same time. I’m sure you know what I mean. Our to-do lists are a mile long and we’re always adding more to it quicker than we cross stuff off.

Do you stay stressed out even over the “small stuff”? This probably means that you have too much on your plate. Assess everything that you’re doing at home and away from home. That’s right. Just for a moment, take the time, write it down. Everything.

Then assess what’s necessary for you to complete and what you can delegate. Surely your children can help clean the house. They can also pick up after themselves. Teach them to be proactive. Delegate as much as you can. After all, you do so much more behind-the-scenes work. Once you’ve delegated all that you can, mark those things off your list.

Next we should evaluate those things that we want to keep in our life versus those things that really aren’t fulfilling us. You can determine if something is no longer fulfilling you by asking a few simple questions.

1. Do I get joy from this task?
2. Is this task helping me?
3. Is this task helping others?
4. Am I being a blessing by completing this task?
5. Does this task cause me or my family grief?
6. Is it more of a chore than something that you like to do?
7. Did I just agree to do this to make someone else happy?

Basically you should get your priorities in check. You priorities can change all the time. What was important to you 6 months ago might not be so important to you now.

You should also reevaluate your tasks if you, like me, have problems saying “No”. Practice this, not just at home. “No I cannot do that right now.” “No thank you. It’s a great opportunity, but it’s not the right time.” It’s better to turn down opportunities than become overwhelmed with all of your duties. After all, how effective can you be at your tasks if you’re only able to give 10% to each of them? I don’t know about you but I want to give my best in everything I do.

Nikowa has been homeschooling her two boys since 2007. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.