Lessons Learned as a Military Family
November 17, 2009 by Julie
When I first sat down to write this article, my mind was a flurry with partial ideas and the nervousness of what in the world do I share with people? How am I supposed to write something down to earth that will speak to their hearts and not sound preachy? What I came up with is to share with you a little about our life.
As a military home-school family, we’re often asked, “How do you do it?!” And usually my response to that is, the same way you manage your home-school, one learning opportunity or teachable moment at a time. The demands of the military, the schedules, separation of family, leaving good friends, making new friends, the moves (ack, the moves! 12 in 17 years, I can now unpack our house and look like we’ve lived there for a year in THREE days!) are all a part of our lifestyle. Adding home-school to the mix, actually made things easier! We are able to continue our home-schooling when we’re in between duty stations. Many times when moving, we may spend anywhere from a week to 2 months living in a hotel while looking for a home to rent or a home on base to be assigned to us. One thing is certain, we are never short of teachable moments! So, if you will allow me, I want to share with you some of the incredible lessons we have learned from our every day life.
1. A smile has more power than you realize!
In some of the most stressful situations, arriving Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in 2002 to the reality that 60% of our belongings were either broken or missing, our daughter smiled at me. At first I thought, good Lord! How can she smile at a time like this? And the Lord quickly humbled me with, “How could she not? You’ve a beautiful family, the opportunity of a lifetime to be in this country at such a time as this. The ‘things’ that are missing or broken are just that, ‘things’! Thank you Lord for setting the example and smiling upon your children! In that moment, I had the opportunity to share with our daughter how Christ’s light had shone through her.
Psalm 18:28-You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
2. Flexibility is as necessary as food and water.
We all have our preferences when it comes to what we want to eat and drink, but when it comes right down to it, we can’t always have our favorites. This holds true with being flexible. Of course we want to keep to our schedules, lesson plans, etc. and still can, but they may not be on the days we planned them. I think as a home-school mother, I can be my own worst enemy when I put flexibility on the back-burner. I can not have a rigid schedule when everything around me requires that I be flexible. We’ve learned that God’s direction for our lives will far exceed anything we could have planned out.
Psalm 33:11- But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
3. Grow and bloom where you’re planted.
Embrace every opportunity with the knowledge that God is sovereign and knows what we need most. I learned early on that comparing the previous duty station to the new one, sapped my joy and didn’t leave me open to experience the new one without bias. At each new duty station, I meet new people, have new experiences, learn about different cultures and tackle another mess that the Lord provides me with to minister to someone with. Now I have fond memories of all our experiences and people we’ve met, but I am also creating new memories to my life’s journey.
4. Everybody needs a day off!
I tend to get caught up in life in general and before I know it, the “days off” are only days off from school for the kids. I end up using those “teacher workdays” to catch up on grading, records tracking, housework, etc. Just a few weeks ago, our son asked me if I would play a board game with him to which I told him I needed to finish the laundry. He asked again and I told him I needed to finish cleaning up the kitchen so I could make supper. He was such a good boy and each time said, “Yes, Ma’am” and quietly walked away to play with his toys. After supper, he asked if he could help with the dishes and I said “Sure, buddy, get out your step stool!” As we washed dishes together, he said, “Mom, I know you were busy today and I understand why you couldn’t play with me. But, do you think you’ll have time tomorrow?” The understanding and maturity that came from our 7 year old’s eyes washed over me and the ache I felt in my heart at the moment, his big blue eyes looking at me, was utterly overwhelming. I was teary eyed and apologized right then for having put all those chores ahead of loving and spending time with him. Later, at my evening prayers before bed, I had the hardest revelation of all. How often do I put the Lord on hold just like I did our son today? OUCH! I made sure to share this incredible lesson the Lord had, the next day with our kids. Part of me loves those ‘Come to Jesus Moments’, the other part me knocks my head (like I should have had a V-8) for having needed them.
I’m so thrilled that God is a gentleman, patient, kind, forgiving, compassionate and more, all the time. Of all the things I appreciate the most, it’s the forgiveness, cuz Lord knows I screw up ALL the time. As a dear pastor has said, “He wants to turn your mess into a message and your test into a testimony”. I’m glad I’m still here to keep learning, teaching our kids and passing on to others what I’ve learned in hopes they will be encouraged.
Thank you all so much for reading! I’m sure you have stories similar to mine in your lives as well and I look forward to hearing about them. Until then…
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 2 Peter 1:2
Julie is a happily married Navy spouse of 16 years, and a homeschooling Mom. She served in the Navy prior to having their children, a daughter – age 15 and a son – age 7. Not only does she have the joy of homeschooling their children and learning from them as she teaches, but she is attending college for her long sought after degree. In her spare time (what’s that? Giggle, giggle) she enjoys fishing, camping, scrapbooking, card making, crafts, reading and oh so much more! The question most often asked of her is, “Do you blog?!” The answer (at this time) is no. She does, however, enjoy contributing to various discussion boards and posting notes on others’ blogs.
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Wendy on Tue, 17th Nov 2009 1:06 pm
I am so very proud of you, sister and friend. I love and miss you all oh so much. You’re such a great mom Jules.
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Julie Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Thank you for the comments! Love and miss you too Wen!
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Tracy on Tue, 17th Nov 2009 1:15 pm
AMEN, AMEN and AMEN! Exactly! From another Military Homeschooling Family!

Tracy´s last blog ..Hurricane Ida
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Julie Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Tracy,
I smiled when I read your comment. Thank you so much!
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Amanda on Tue, 17th Nov 2009 4:01 pm
So very true. I feel like I can say “been there done that.”
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Julie Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Excellent! I was hoping to “connect” with those that would read it. Thank you for the comment.
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Heather @ Marine Corps Nomads on Tue, 17th Nov 2009 4:10 pm
Definitely a “been there done that” article. Homeschooling has really made our military life much easier. It’s one less thing that we need to be concerned about during a move.
I’m going to print out the quote from your pastor as I really liked that one.

Heather @ Marine Corps Nomads´s last blog ..The Young Scientist
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Julie Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Heather,
Glad to hear home-school has made military life easier for you as well. When I’m in the “trenches”, I remind myself frequently of the pastor’s quote. Gets me through all kinds of situations.
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Tammy on Tue, 17th Nov 2009 4:38 pm
Thanks for sharing, Julie!
I, too, love your pastor’s quote and it certainly applies to life for all of us, doesn’t it? It truly is about the attitude we’re going to take whatever the test or mess. And with a son now in the military, we’ve found it’s obviously a huge mission field that could use some godly testimonies mingled in! May you be encouraged and given boldness to share yours!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last blog ..not really forgotten
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Julie Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Tammy,
May you and your family’s tests and messes be testimonies and messages to that ‘mission field’.
Thank you for your comments and encouragement! Please be sure to tell your son for me how much I appreciate his service. All of us have a part to play and his choice to serve is important.
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Bethany L. on Wed, 18th Nov 2009 10:21 am
Great ideas even for the non-military among us. I am not known as being flexible and we rarely have days off, but both of those might make us all a little more amenable at times. Actually, my hubby was in the AF Guard when we married & now he’s talking about re-enlisting to be in some computer intel. thing – yikes!
Bethany L.´s last blog ..Have an Organized Thanksgiving
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Julie Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 2:27 am
Bethany,
So glad to hear that the article spoke to non-military too! My hope was to share some things I’ve learned as a military family, but certainly could apply to anyone. Keep us updated on whether or not your hubby gets back into the military! I would be glad to share resources with you to help with the transition back to military life.
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Judith on Wed, 18th Nov 2009 6:43 pm
It was beautifully written, heartfelt and the article itself was a “teachable moment”. Okay, I’ll admit it, I cried. It touched me so deeply. These are lessons we can all apply to our lives, military or not, home-schooled or otherwise. Keep sharing because I’m certain it is a blessing to many.
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Julie Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 2:30 am
Judith,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I confess, I cried when the Lord presented it to me for an article and again as I wrote it. Thank you for the encouragement too! I will continue sharing all the lessons, tests and messes I can, as I figure that’s what the Lord would want.
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Shelby on Mon, 23rd Nov 2009 3:16 pm
I absolutely loved this! We are not military but travel many days out of the year for my husbands job. This spoke to me! I also want to write down your pastors quote. That was excellent! I, too, find myself having to let go of some of the household chores at times and realize that those things will always be there for me to complete and the children will only be small for so long. It is hard to remember at times. Thank you for this!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Shelby
Shelby´s last blog ..Plenty of play at pretty parks
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Julie Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 4:47 am
Thank you for your kind comments Shelby! I am so thrilled that this article was encouraging to you! Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful!
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Sallie on Fri, 4th Dec 2009 8:56 am
Julie — We’re a military homeschooling family as well. I, too, served on active duty (Air Force) early in our marriage. Definitely have to be flexible…we call it Semper Gumby in the Marine Corps

Sallie´s last blog ..From the Archives: A Recipe for Christmas JOY by Marybeth Whalen
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